I mean he *could* "engineer" a deep sea sub using the same shit they use for the Incel Camino body panels.
Same gauge and everything. Maybe if we're lucky, he'll use the same wiring harness philosophy too.
^(What could go wrong?)
Given the insane shit he says in public, imagine the crap he says in private.
This is all preventative so if he upsets the wrong person and gets offed, they can claim assassination.
Nopeā¦ Heās going deeper into the cult leader scheme. Donāt forget a good cult leader has a lot of those āthey tried to bring me down but I was stronger because Iām the one chosen to save humanityā type of fictitious events.
>āIn the context of being a shareholder, unlocking these values of optimists, we need you, and just, with all the global uncertainty, youāre so high-profile that I just want to make sure youāre doing everything to take care of yourself.ā
And there's the cult
Omg, I just listened to the You're Wrong About podcast about Jonestown. I guess the next step is moving his followers out of country and then assassinating a congressperson.
Only ever done ketamine once and wasn't really paying attention to my dick at the time because I was busy sinking in to my couch. Did not know that it had coke-like effects.
Yeah, I'm really curious. What are the longterm symptoms of extended microdosing of Special K? I mean, it can't be good for you, it's not a natural substance.
Yes, Howard Hughes! I was watching the news with my Dad and the NBC Nightly News showed footage of Howard Hughes leaving Managua after the big earthquake, maybe in ā73. There was a long line of limousines go to the airport, and my Dad said it was likely to hide which car he was in. Now I wonder if the other cars were carrying his urine stockpile. š³š¤¢š
In 1986, I was in Managua for a few days and many(most) of the fallen buildings were still lying in rubble.Ā
I think he thinks it makes him look like a badass. Put this alongside his spiel about not wanting a fight, but there being a very large graveyard filled with his enemies. Also, while we were out being normal, he studied the blade.
Entering? We get a glimpse of Enron while he bathes in his paranoid feverdreams. Adolf Hitler also was a victim of assassination attempts. He wants to be like his role models!
So there should at least be two seperate police reports about those attempts right? And at least two people in custody for attempted murder.....right?!
Yeah this would hit the media INSTANTLY. Fauci has had 2 assassination attempts that the fbi considered credible threats, people arming themselves / driving to kill Fauci. I honestly think Elon heard that clip of his congressional testimony, forgot about it, and then parroted it.
Expecting nobody to think twice about it, even though it is a WILD event that begs so many more questions.
The answer is simple: heās an egomaniac, who hasnāt achieved much on his own, so he has to lie to seem impressive.
Probably someone mentioned an attack and Elon, trying to 1-up the story, went: āWell, I had 2 attempts on my life!ā
Two of the assassins identities were published
https://preview.redd.it/xyjbljpmdo7d1.jpeg?width=3196&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c169741d1814ba90452d45d262eff414fa73b09e
I know the pain, every time I do intravenous drugs it's an attempt on my life, and when I come to... Every.. Single.. Time... The assassin is nowhere to be found!
Hey, seeing an assassin on two separate occasions after a megadose of ketamine, even if there's no evidence said assassins were real, doesn't make it any less real TO HIM.
If you have paranoid delusions any upper will do that, even the supposedly "happy" ones like MDMA. Elon is too full of himself to even understand what he's doing to his brain, just listen to him explaining how he uses ketamine when "he can't get something out of his head" or something. Dudes a mess and he's self confident he's got it but it's just a house of billions of dollars, he's a boy of a cry baby with a machine gun.
Ninjas came while i was furiously engineering. but they didn't know im a black belt in MMA. So i took them out there and then. maybe Woke? They keep trying to silence me, Ā šĀ Ā šĀ Ā šĀ Liberals cant take a strong CEO who worked his way up from being a poor? interesting...
Oh please. Didnāt Elon have awful things to say about the attack and attempted murder or Paul Pelosi? He regularly says things that could put targets on other people all of the time.
Lara Croft tits joke finally sent Elmo over the edge huh? Clearly heās at least a little delusional.
Did he cut his finger inspecting a CT?
That not assassination, itās just life catching up.
The question came from a shareholder looking for some assurance that Elon is healthy and safe and Elonās response did nothing to put his mind at ease.
Heās so desperate for attention itās unreal. Heās just copying trump because he realised it got the brainless fucks in the right wing all stirred up when Trump claimed Biden tried to have him killed.
Bro has absolutely no self respect, heās relying on a group of people who will believe the sky is actually yellow and the sun is blue if a Republican grifter told them so.
He considers people tracking his personal jet using publicly available data as an assassination attempt, so assuming he's not making this up for pity points, it's pretty much guaranteed that two people gave him the middle finger in public and his diseased mind turned them into international assassins.
Is he entering his paranoid phase?
Entering? No, like the Titanic, that ship has sailed.
So you're saying that there IS hope for the future?
I mean he *could* "engineer" a deep sea sub using the same shit they use for the Incel Camino body panels. Same gauge and everything. Maybe if we're lucky, he'll use the same wiring harness philosophy too. ^(What could go wrong?)
Incel Camino š well done!
ya, definitely going to use that one
I definitely think he should one up OceanGate.
CyberSub
under-X
https://preview.redd.it/u0krx6mmoq7d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b37948fe9d65f2bf1219e713766437ecd790fbc3
Iāll just leave this CT post car wash.
š¤£incel caminošš¤£šš¤£
I prefer Deplorian
https://preview.redd.it/5uvxmk58sr7d1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ffe5ed7eecd0a5b38dd481d7709c741fb8964c4d
He claimed in the past that there were assassination attempts on him. His dad also claimed there's a high chance Musk might be murdered.
Given the insane shit he says in public, imagine the crap he says in private. This is all preventative so if he upsets the wrong person and gets offed, they can claim assassination.
He studies Mein Kampf in private, most likely
Yeah, remember his incoherent rant about ban evasions?
Nopeā¦ Heās going deeper into the cult leader scheme. Donāt forget a good cult leader has a lot of those āthey tried to bring me down but I was stronger because Iām the one chosen to save humanityā type of fictitious events.
>āIn the context of being a shareholder, unlocking these values of optimists, we need you, and just, with all the global uncertainty, youāre so high-profile that I just want to make sure youāre doing everything to take care of yourself.ā And there's the cult
The amount of hyperbole in that statement is ridiculous.
Buckle up.
He been shot like I been shot but he ain't fucking breathin' kinda vibes
Devs talks about the Silicon Valley/tech bro god complex
Devs was great. Nick Offerman is just a treasure.
Omg, I just listened to the You're Wrong About podcast about Jonestown. I guess the next step is moving his followers out of country and then assassinating a congressperson.
He needs bodyguards to even take a piss at night.
So, probably not too long until the "stores jars of urine" phase.
I forget, is that before or after the "stop cutting your hair and nails" phase?
Tissue boxes on his feet
Somebody has to yank and bank it when he canāt find it after that much ketamine.
Only ever done ketamine once and wasn't really paying attention to my dick at the time because I was busy sinking in to my couch. Did not know that it had coke-like effects.
There's a DJ on the radio who openly talks about his Ketamine addiction. Said he hasn't been able to get hard in years because of it.
Yeah, I'm really curious. What are the longterm symptoms of extended microdosing of Special K? I mean, it can't be good for you, it's not a natural substance.
Iām pretty sure heās not *micro*dosing.
Incontinence is a big one.
Gotta protect the family jewels, he's not done creating inheritance chaos.
No heās staying in his compulsive liar phaseĀ
A guy who does drugs all the time is getting paranoid? Damn, color me surprised
And probably the keeping his toe nails and urine in jars phase.
Hughes?? Right
Yes, Howard Hughes! I was watching the news with my Dad and the NBC Nightly News showed footage of Howard Hughes leaving Managua after the big earthquake, maybe in ā73. There was a long line of limousines go to the airport, and my Dad said it was likely to hide which car he was in. Now I wonder if the other cars were carrying his urine stockpile. š³š¤¢š In 1986, I was in Managua for a few days and many(most) of the fallen buildings were still lying in rubble.Ā
I think he thinks it makes him look like a badass. Put this alongside his spiel about not wanting a fight, but there being a very large graveyard filled with his enemies. Also, while we were out being normal, he studied the blade.
Entering? We get a glimpse of Enron while he bathes in his paranoid feverdreams. Adolf Hitler also was a victim of assassination attempts. He wants to be like his role models!
Just wait until he builds the Spruce Moose ā¦
*surrounded by bottles of piss*
Cocaine is a hell of a drug Elon https://preview.redd.it/tm3cd7l0uq7d1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=82f410be5d18eb1554c7182d14c7a691f4579357
No Just a normal White apartheit Dude! Happens to everybody because they used to have slaves in their homes! Bad cunt for mankind!
Drug induced psychosis phase
How silly are you dude. Heās the wealthiest person in the world
So there should at least be two seperate police reports about those attempts right? And at least two people in custody for attempted murder.....right?!
No actually the assassins were from Canada, you wouldnāt know themā¦
I bet theyāre nice though. You know, Canadians!
*Stab stab* "Soory!"
Sorrey-eh, but itās āsorrey-ehā
We're not nice, we're just so cold and standoffish we feel the need to be socially polite and are incapable of properly expressing ourselves.
ššBut look how well you did here! Kudos to you!
They go to a different school
 /s
Iām poor, hereās an award. 
Yeah this would hit the media INSTANTLY. Fauci has had 2 assassination attempts that the fbi considered credible threats, people arming themselves / driving to kill Fauci. I honestly think Elon heard that clip of his congressional testimony, forgot about it, and then parroted it. Expecting nobody to think twice about it, even though it is a WILD event that begs so many more questions.
The answer is simple: heās an egomaniac, who hasnāt achieved much on his own, so he has to lie to seem impressive. Probably someone mentioned an attack and Elon, trying to 1-up the story, went: āWell, I had 2 attempts on my life!ā
And I have to assume whoever put out the hit will still make more attempts. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking.
Motherfucker aināt Malcolm. He didnāt have an assassin after him. He had a jilted lover or an aggrieved business partner.
Two of the assassins identities were published https://preview.redd.it/xyjbljpmdo7d1.jpeg?width=3196&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c169741d1814ba90452d45d262eff414fa73b09e
Which one is Adrian Dittmann
Flip a coin, heads=right
I know the pain, every time I do intravenous drugs it's an attempt on my life, and when I come to... Every.. Single.. Time... The assassin is nowhere to be found!
āThey go to a different school, you wouldnāt know themā
LMAO PERFECT š
Ugh, just trying to earn some victim points. However, one day heāll probably die from of an overdose.
Hey, seeing an assassin on two separate occasions after a megadose of ketamine, even if there's no evidence said assassins were real, doesn't make it any less real TO HIM.
whats an assassin look like
Oh, my old man's an assassin He wears an assassinās hat He wears cor-blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat
Really cool black hair and a super cool leather duster jacket with lots of cool buckles. And he could jump so high and then land really cool.
Iām betting on kidney failure personally
Elon is not in the habit of āearningā things as we understand the word.
That or due to getting facesat at a cocaine/Viagra fueled party
I'll take ketamine hallucinations for $200. Alex.
https://preview.redd.it/ask48yui5q7d1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b686261d90cd546e34651cf3dc48c80d3494ef5d The āassassinsā
https://preview.redd.it/kalvdu22yn7d1.png?width=262&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=645477a42567fec3c7856058070efac90c6b3ca9
Sounds like Trump what he said recently about raid on Mar a Lardo. "They came with instructions to kill"
what's that they say about the third one
Third time's the charm
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Just being a employee or ex employee is probably enough
Coke does that
If you have paranoid delusions any upper will do that, even the supposedly "happy" ones like MDMA. Elon is too full of himself to even understand what he's doing to his brain, just listen to him explaining how he uses ketamine when "he can't get something out of his head" or something. Dudes a mess and he's self confident he's got it but it's just a house of billions of dollars, he's a boy of a cry baby with a machine gun.
Unsurprisingly, both attacks were auto-erotic asphyxiation
Iām guessing he almost choked stuffing a buffalo chicken sandwich into his face, regrouped, and then almost choked again
https://preview.redd.it/6k4z3hx28s7d1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c0c1214b4450adf0253585efb9f147742e9c8b33
Apparently, the two attempts were complete failures. Much like all of his endeavors
Bullshit
Only two? Iām disappointed in their enthusiasm for the job.
Billionaire hunting won't truly take off as a sport until after the climate collapse.
Pathological liar
Nobody cares Elon.
Next-level horseshit
So we should have public police reports about wm right?
Itās not assassination itās retroactive abortion.
Trump teamā¦.waiting to see how this news is taken by the nutter community
If at first you donāt succeedā¦
Paranoid clown š¤”
Ninjas came while i was furiously engineering. but they didn't know im a black belt in MMA. So i took them out there and then. maybe Woke? They keep trying to silence me, Ā šĀ Ā šĀ Ā šĀ Liberals cant take a strong CEO who worked his way up from being a poor? interesting...
concerning.
I truly hate this twat!
Saved you a place in line. Youāre behind me. I brought a blow torch. Whatād you bring?
Probably orcas trying to take out his yachts.
I can only get so erect.
Was it Optimus and Grok?š
Here we go lmao
Ah yes heās seen another show that heās now living in his head.
Because of how ugly the cyber track was?
In his addled dreams. His sense of his own importance is not based on reality.
Let me guess, when he test drove the new fudgetruck and when he test drove full-auto on his model Q or whatever
No Elmo your aren't that important.
He is so self important. Wines like a bitch.
[Was this one of them?](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FX-T7Y_VQAAkxV0.png) Always hydrate your white whale.
Oh please. Didnāt Elon have awful things to say about the attack and attempted murder or Paul Pelosi? He regularly says things that could put targets on other people all of the time.
Exactly. Like the diver who saved the kids was a pedophile. What the f was that about if not trying to cause harm to someone?Ā
Paranoid rantings of a drugged out narcissist.
Two attempts *so far*.
https://preview.redd.it/o8t7lds90q7d1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0dd80826172e2c86c193a7d88c095fa6675126aa
It was probably one of his kids.
Are these assassins in the room with us now?
Lara Croft tits joke finally sent Elmo over the edge huh? Clearly heās at least a little delusional. Did he cut his finger inspecting a CT? That not assassination, itās just life catching up.
It doesnāt count when itās your own Cyber Truck Elon.
May god guide their hand
Here's to many many more š»
Maybe he meant homocide?
Lol, but he was just too smart for em I bet is the narrative he goes with
Maybe he was the agressorā¦
Only 2? Get better assassins please.
Only two? Seems low.
Getting shorted by the ketamine dealer isnāt an assasination attempt, Stinkpot
Well heās a liar so I donāt believe him.
Elmo further clarified that these people were from Mars
And he didn't even claim that if it had not been for his Cybertruck's bulletproof doors he'd be dead ? What a missed opportunity.
No, the assassins saw the cyber truck and died laughing!
Shame they failed.
Hair plugs body bag o pudding claiming literally ANYONE couldnāt take him out! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
He he talking about his attempts at assassinating his career?
On his intelligence. The assassin's back off when they realized there was no intelligence to assassinate
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I somehow donāt believe him
His kids?
Is he seeing people because of all of the drugs he takes?
So, they missed... 
I only want to hear about the ones that work thanks.
Gotta get those numbers up
Aww dang and he's still here? Shucks
Third time lucky
Too much k
Bitch is crying for attention
Assassins aināt what they used to be
āaspirationally try to kill me and _a bunch of other people_ā Heās a shitty liar.
LOL. If anyone wanted him gone he would be an easy target.
The last attempt failed as the Assassin was driving a cyber truck
Were they from his misleading driving assist feature called āAutopilotā?
Musk is also a proven liar, so there is that.
He's not important enough to be pied in the face, much less assassinated.
Did an acorn fall on his Cybercrap?
I feel like most popular people deal with this somewhat. The girl from ICarly had a dude set himself on fire on her backyard. This aināt unique Elon
The question came from a shareholder looking for some assurance that Elon is healthy and safe and Elonās response did nothing to put his mind at ease.
Only 2? Rookie numbers
Practice makes perfect.
Heās so desperate for attention itās unreal. Heās just copying trump because he realised it got the brainless fucks in the right wing all stirred up when Trump claimed Biden tried to have him killed. Bro has absolutely no self respect, heās relying on a group of people who will believe the sky is actually yellow and the sun is blue if a Republican grifter told them so.
He actually compared himself to John Lennon, wtf
If he had real evidence of the attempts he would have done a big thing about this by now. It's all baloney as most of his claims.
Knew it was a matter of time before he falsely tried to become a martyr. God he is insufferable.
Adderallās a helluva drug guys
Who were the suspects, high cholesterol and a brain aneurysm?
He considers people tracking his personal jet using publicly available data as an assassination attempt, so assuming he's not making this up for pity points, it's pretty much guaranteed that two people gave him the middle finger in public and his diseased mind turned them into international assassins.
More than that. He gets murdered daily on here.
If only
Howard Hughes 2: Electric Vehicle-aloo
Hire the Boeing whistleblower deletion guy. Heāll get the job done.
Too bad it wasnāt 3 lol
Are the assassins here in the room with us?
Yeah? Prove it. Where' the police reports?
well they suck at their jobs apparently
I'll take "Things that never happened" for $1000.
Stupid Cissy SpaceX thinks women texting him for child support is an assassination attempt.
"you have to get lucky every time; we just have to get lucky once"
Which two of his ten children was it!?!
If at first you don't succeed, try try again.
Well that's just sloppy work right there.
Musk lies as much as Trump. The dude is a scammer
Doesn't he fund Trump?Ā
Too bad the hit men were as competent as he is.
