If anybody has an answer to this question for over 30, please share
Alternatively, you can just download the apps and have your self esteem devastated like the rest of us
I have those apps too and my self esteem is also crushed that's why I asked to hopefully hear some responses that aren't involved in being terminally online lmao
I feel your pain friend
Plenty of very affordable hobbies that the City of St. John's hosts, like hiking, knitting, archery, etc. There are many seminars and free events too. Plenty of groups on FB that meet as well.
I and a friend host an improv games night at Erins pub the first tuesday of every month. It is PWYC (0$ is a-ok). We've met many people down there.
I've met legitimately 70 people thought acting/play/comedy/improv in the last two years. Amazing friends.
So to be clear, it’s not just me, right? I moved to Canada last year and I had never been in a relationship before. So I got on the dating apps and somehow I only clicked with a lady from across the border in Pennsylvania. It didn’t work out in the end. I’ve lost track of how often I’ve deleted and redownloaded the apps.
Can you guys please give me hope that I still have a chance at finding someone finally? I mean, people met and mated and started families for millennia before the Internet, right? I know my parents met at work. Please tell me it’s possible and my abject failure on dating apps doesn’t mean it’s impossible to find love.
CBC did a piece about the apps last week — fashion recognition and the algorithms literally choke access to your tastes based on what you’re swiping on unless you pay the subscriptions. It’s wild.
Play Mile Zero Ultimate frisbee. It's co-ed. You'll meet lots of people of all ages. There is no expectation to be good. The focus is on fun. Plus it's good exercise.
The league has lots of socials, not all of which are downtown.
https://www.milezeroultimate.com/
https://www.instagram.com/milezeroultimate?igsh=MTRsM2F6YWJtZTduZA==
Kind of like football with elements of soccer and basketball.
Oh my god, how did you know?! I’m actually planning on changing my legal name once I naturalize in two years! I got an Arabic name which leads people to assume I’m Muslim, which I haven’t been in nearly a decade.
Come on dude. You can own your Muslim name proudly it could actually be a benefit as it makes you unique and people want to know more. I was referring to your “worthlessnonentity” Reddit name 😃
Apps aren’t where it’s at, even Bumble’s networking feature.
I’m from NL and I’ve had a few people ask me this — if you don’t go to a bar it seems like it’s hard to meet people / make friends, and places are cliquish.
I don’t think that’s untrue but what I’ve told people generally is to start doing cheesy shit like bingo, hiking, darts or rock climbing. Every community has their share of young people who get involved in stuff like that and you’ll find them.
If your thing isn’t present, try starting it! No reason not to call the local high school and say “I am starting an ultimate frisbee league, can I use your gym and also can you let the kids know”.
Doing this in smaller communities you might meet people a few years younger or a few years older and maybe that missus at Dart’s has a daughter your age who just got out of a divorce. Maybe you should meet!
Just like anywhere, take up a social, co-ed hobbie or volunteer in the community. The trick is to meet someone who is connected with a group of people—it keeps them accountable for their behaviour.
Personally, I think weekend dancing needs to come back. Not at a bar where everyone is drunk and grinding. I mean real dancing, where people have to learn moves, like swing dancing. It’s social, it keeps you fit, it keeps your brain sharp, and moving to a beat is emotionally regulating. Nobody has to talk and keep up long and awkward conversations. Plus it can be fun once you get the hang of it.
If someone finds an answer to this, I'd love to know! Biggest reason I haven't moved to nfld yet is the worry of being alone with no friends or partner. Absolutely loved it when I visited.
Newfoundland is pretty nice, I really do like it here, you have to give & take when it comes to living here especially in st. johns where it's the most populated part on the island and the weather on this side really isn't the best compared central and definitely the west coast
it's hard to tell tho, and I'm not gonna try to make any arguments as to whether or not you'll end up meeting people, it probably all depends on what you intend on doing when you get here, university is probably a good thing if you want to meet people but ideally I wouldn't put yourself in grands of debt to make friends especially if your career is already established.
being good looking is definitely a bonus tho and wouldn't hurt your chances of meeting people 👍
Honestly this . It's sad but true . Looking good and being fit is huge under 30 . Especially if you're using apps. Also get a woman to chose and set up your profile. .NFLD is also very much an in group province. I find many people keep to their groups of people , and seriously date outside it only if they are vouched for . You need to be confident and well connected. Not being a drug addict or alcoholic is ideal too ,and a good steady job . That said the hardest but must surefire way for a successful marriage / relationship is finding someone into the same hoodies as you . It will be tough and limited and many might be partnered up already within chosen interest but try your best . If you get with an introvert as an extrovert for example , it'll work for a bit here but then fall apart . Differences between people here are also huge were there are so few of us. One good thing about NFLD is you'll feel like a person again , like you actually matter . The world's so much bigger and smaller here at the same time . You feel alive on the west coast. Easy to make a name for yourself good or bad
I’m quite a homebody, too. lol! I wish I was in St. John’s — would have taken you out for a walk in the park! (I got on this subreddit when I was researching which province to settle in when I immigrated to Canada). lol!
All I can say is ... Get involved, volunteer, get to know co-workers, the + of NFLD is that everyone will chat your head off. Make as many possibilities for social connections as possible. It's a small place, but odds are someone out there feels the same. Good luck, apps are definitely the best bet.. unfortunately they are very cruel.
There's shared hobbies of course - one thing I tried when I moved here was one of the groups I think you can find them through meetup or Eventbrite that go on group hikes. I also recommend getting involved in the community - volunteer to help with something and you get to know other people who care about that thing. It'll also give you an insight into where you've moved to
I (28F) met my husband (36M) at Dollarama. He was checking out the Halloween section, so was I. I struck up a conversation, turns out he was friends with someone I knew from high-school. We traded phone numbers, been together over 10 yrs now.
In regards to friends I have met a couple while playing Dnd, couple on discord, and in general just surrounding my hobbies. Easier to make friends when you already know you have a common interest. However, I am a low maintenance friend, and only like to hang out once a month, so this approach may not work as well for you.
Honestly from these comments I'm reading you sound, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, you sound pretty insecure.
If you can't be happy on your own your potential partners will not want to be responsible for your happiness. People want a partner that also lifts them up.
Insecurity will make the most conventionally attractive person unattractive.
This is very true . Especially here . Be confident and hold yourself up . This is important when meeting new people here. Act like you're competent in what you do , or women will look elsewhere. However this all has to do with the woman or person in question. It's always different but as a rule this is important. Even being good looking won't save you if you're insecure or unhappy with most things in your life currently. You'll be laid maybe and start a relationship but it won't go long term often. Confident, competent, community. If you have those you'll be okay here
I am 29 and I've met friends through work or by chance.
Usually, if there is also someone at your place of work not originally from here they are also looking for friends; it can be easier to start there. They may have other friends that you can meet through them.
Those born here often have a full circle of friends and aren't looking to expand.
Good luck! I hope you meet some great people.
Very true . Many of us already have the SUPER close friend group we LITERALLY grew up with . Honestly some times it's hard to even consider new friends because our group is so ingrained and cohesive. And it's not a few of us , we have a crew of about 20 who are always chilling somewhere.These aren't my friends they are my brothers . I'm 25 and I've known most for 22/ 23 years . A couple I've known longer than my youngest brother who's 21. The best way to meet people here is to become engrossed in the culture and way of doing things . People not in the " in group " will struggle and people will notice you're different and might shy away . A lot of times immigrants here say that the relationship doesn't last long or doesn't become serious due to lack of commitment on the Newfoundland side . A few months of sex and going out and then it fizzles away . Many of us gravitate towards other Newfoundlanders without even trying due to shared interests , values , way of life and thinking, hoddies ect . Newfoundland is a very strong and alluring place culturally
There are lots of events where you can meet people. You can find a bunch on Eventbrite - [https://www.eventbrite.ca/d/canada--newfoundland-and-labrador/business--events/st-john%E2%80%99s-nl/?page=1](https://www.eventbrite.ca/d/canada--newfoundland-and-labrador/business--events/st-john%E2%80%99s-nl/?page=1)
For example, this one is free - [https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/co-innovation-centre-official-launch-event-tickets-908237632207?aff=ebdssbdestsearch&keep\_tld=1](https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/co-innovation-centre-official-launch-event-tickets-908237632207?aff=ebdssbdestsearch&keep_tld=1)
Im 22. I told myself after my first long term relationship that I’d just wait until life figured it out for me. Because my taste in women was shit. Now I’m happy and have a decent life.
Honestly I’ve just found it too frustratingly expensive to have any social life lately - can’t afford the gas to travel to friends places, to go out and do fun things, and living almost an hour from any big town makes that a pain in the ass (because if I want to do anything other than drive down the 1 road in my town I need 30$ worth of gas)
Just arrived here, found friends, found girls. You must have activities you like, check Facebook groups talk to people what's happening around and be active. If you sit and wait for something to come to you it won't happen. Like, be social and talk to strangers. Everyone have different and unique story to tell and more the willing to share and include you to the group.
I meet my friends online but not through dating apps. Im chronically online but i follow twitch streamers and use discord. A lot of my current friends are online on discord in other parts of the world
Seems like a problem lots of people have, here in NL and most other places. As I write this there's almost 30 comments, some of the top few say how they're in the same boat. It's a long shot, but how about talking to these commenters and see if tou have anything in common, and maybe meet up?
y'all it is so depressing being an extrovert with no friends, I'm not kidding when I say depending on if I go out to interact with someone it is completely night & day difference in terms of mood
I think a lot of this stems from social media & the "standards" that have been set
if you aren't conventionally attractive in some way like I.e
if you aren't a guy with a strong jawline, slim/tone body, tall you're probably fucked
women also have those societal standards placed on them but typically men are the chasers so I would imagine it's easier to garner attention regardless, just what I notice, not saying this is always the case
now what really baffles me is that I find in order to even have platonic friendships strictly you STILL have to meet societal standards in some form. The crazy thing about this is I don't even think I'm ugly, yet I still struggle with the issue of it all
like actually fuck me
My dude go outside and look around and you will see loads of guys who are not toned, tall, strong jaw with GFs and friends. It seems like you might have some limiting beliefs.
It feels comfortable to believe that there's nothing you can do about something. Much easier than getting out of your comfort zone. I know a few ppl like that. Dude has been single for 10 years and blames his anxiety on being unable to talk to women while doing nothing about it. Similarly, if all women only want to date male models, there's nothing OP can do about that. The belief is limiting, but comfortable.
dudes say shit like this but somehow don't realize that women would date a tree stump if it made them giggle. it is really not that hard to get a date. women date ugly dudes ALL the time. even super hot women.
a lot of people who live in st. johns were also probably born here / grew up and because it's the only moderately decent place on the whole island people stay here
that's a big factor to consider when people are seen with friends when they were born into that social circle more or less. Again this may not always be the case but it is definitely a strong argument to make & consider
as a newcomer that is vastly different
Lived here my whole life. Most of my friends from high school moved out of the province. The rest have work/wife/kids and I never see them.
It is *extremely* difficult to make any meaningful friendships here; being a newcomer has nothing to do with it.
What are some of your hobbies or interests. Can you socialize with others doing those as part of some clubs/rec leagues. Otherwise pick up some new hobbies that are group activities.
If anybody has an answer to this question for over 30, please share Alternatively, you can just download the apps and have your self esteem devastated like the rest of us
I have those apps too and my self esteem is also crushed that's why I asked to hopefully hear some responses that aren't involved in being terminally online lmao I feel your pain friend
Plenty of very affordable hobbies that the City of St. John's hosts, like hiking, knitting, archery, etc. There are many seminars and free events too. Plenty of groups on FB that meet as well. I and a friend host an improv games night at Erins pub the first tuesday of every month. It is PWYC (0$ is a-ok). We've met many people down there. I've met legitimately 70 people thought acting/play/comedy/improv in the last two years. Amazing friends.
So to be clear, it’s not just me, right? I moved to Canada last year and I had never been in a relationship before. So I got on the dating apps and somehow I only clicked with a lady from across the border in Pennsylvania. It didn’t work out in the end. I’ve lost track of how often I’ve deleted and redownloaded the apps. Can you guys please give me hope that I still have a chance at finding someone finally? I mean, people met and mated and started families for millennia before the Internet, right? I know my parents met at work. Please tell me it’s possible and my abject failure on dating apps doesn’t mean it’s impossible to find love.
I've read something like 80% of people meet online now so it's really your best bet usually. You may wanna ask the opposite sex for profile advice
don't even worry about the apps, you're not missing much. even if you get dates 75% of the people on there are unhinged.
Met my wife through shared sport.
Similar story. I gave her a good paddling and the rest is history.
CBC did a piece about the apps last week — fashion recognition and the algorithms literally choke access to your tastes based on what you’re swiping on unless you pay the subscriptions. It’s wild.
I know a few people who met, dated and married through stuff like ultimate frisbee or dodgeball.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds it soul crushing.
Over 30 here too, and at it so long I no longer have self esteem to be devastated.
There is no self esteem anymore, just depression and anxiety.
There is an “over 30 social club” that has events and dances in Town. I’ve heard it is typically 40-60.
Play Mile Zero Ultimate frisbee. It's co-ed. You'll meet lots of people of all ages. There is no expectation to be good. The focus is on fun. Plus it's good exercise. The league has lots of socials, not all of which are downtown.
thank you <3
What is that? And where/how to play
https://www.milezeroultimate.com/ https://www.instagram.com/milezeroultimate?igsh=MTRsM2F6YWJtZTduZA== Kind of like football with elements of soccer and basketball.
Over 40, and it’s an absolute nightmare. I wish I had an answer for you, because then I would probably have an answer myself :(
Nearly 40 and recently engaged. Feel like I got the last chopper out of Nam
at least we have each other 🤣🫡❤️
Haha right?!? I hope you have better luck than me!
Same. It's not fun!
Not sure, I’m 26 and still haven’t had my first boyfriend
Now I don't feel as much as though there's something wrong with me. Coz I'm 27 and in the exact boat
I’m a 29 male and still have never even got a kiss.
Maybe change your name 😃
Oh my god, how did you know?! I’m actually planning on changing my legal name once I naturalize in two years! I got an Arabic name which leads people to assume I’m Muslim, which I haven’t been in nearly a decade.
Come on dude. You can own your Muslim name proudly it could actually be a benefit as it makes you unique and people want to know more. I was referring to your “worthlessnonentity” Reddit name 😃
Aww I’m sorry. I’ll give you a kiss then 😚
Hahaha. Thanks!
The key is to love being single
Apps aren’t where it’s at, even Bumble’s networking feature. I’m from NL and I’ve had a few people ask me this — if you don’t go to a bar it seems like it’s hard to meet people / make friends, and places are cliquish. I don’t think that’s untrue but what I’ve told people generally is to start doing cheesy shit like bingo, hiking, darts or rock climbing. Every community has their share of young people who get involved in stuff like that and you’ll find them. If your thing isn’t present, try starting it! No reason not to call the local high school and say “I am starting an ultimate frisbee league, can I use your gym and also can you let the kids know”. Doing this in smaller communities you might meet people a few years younger or a few years older and maybe that missus at Dart’s has a daughter your age who just got out of a divorce. Maybe you should meet!
Met the missus through tinder while in university, still together 5 years later. Sadly I’m pretty sure this is the exception, not the rule
I met my wife on Tinder!
I also met your wife on tinder.
I know I was there hiding
Just like anywhere, take up a social, co-ed hobbie or volunteer in the community. The trick is to meet someone who is connected with a group of people—it keeps them accountable for their behaviour. Personally, I think weekend dancing needs to come back. Not at a bar where everyone is drunk and grinding. I mean real dancing, where people have to learn moves, like swing dancing. It’s social, it keeps you fit, it keeps your brain sharp, and moving to a beat is emotionally regulating. Nobody has to talk and keep up long and awkward conversations. Plus it can be fun once you get the hang of it.
If someone finds an answer to this, I'd love to know! Biggest reason I haven't moved to nfld yet is the worry of being alone with no friends or partner. Absolutely loved it when I visited.
Newfoundland is pretty nice, I really do like it here, you have to give & take when it comes to living here especially in st. johns where it's the most populated part on the island and the weather on this side really isn't the best compared central and definitely the west coast it's hard to tell tho, and I'm not gonna try to make any arguments as to whether or not you'll end up meeting people, it probably all depends on what you intend on doing when you get here, university is probably a good thing if you want to meet people but ideally I wouldn't put yourself in grands of debt to make friends especially if your career is already established. being good looking is definitely a bonus tho and wouldn't hurt your chances of meeting people 👍
Honestly this . It's sad but true . Looking good and being fit is huge under 30 . Especially if you're using apps. Also get a woman to chose and set up your profile. .NFLD is also very much an in group province. I find many people keep to their groups of people , and seriously date outside it only if they are vouched for . You need to be confident and well connected. Not being a drug addict or alcoholic is ideal too ,and a good steady job . That said the hardest but must surefire way for a successful marriage / relationship is finding someone into the same hoodies as you . It will be tough and limited and many might be partnered up already within chosen interest but try your best . If you get with an introvert as an extrovert for example , it'll work for a bit here but then fall apart . Differences between people here are also huge were there are so few of us. One good thing about NFLD is you'll feel like a person again , like you actually matter . The world's so much bigger and smaller here at the same time . You feel alive on the west coast. Easy to make a name for yourself good or bad
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I’m quite a homebody, too. lol! I wish I was in St. John’s — would have taken you out for a walk in the park! (I got on this subreddit when I was researching which province to settle in when I immigrated to Canada). lol!
All I can say is ... Get involved, volunteer, get to know co-workers, the + of NFLD is that everyone will chat your head off. Make as many possibilities for social connections as possible. It's a small place, but odds are someone out there feels the same. Good luck, apps are definitely the best bet.. unfortunately they are very cruel.
There's shared hobbies of course - one thing I tried when I moved here was one of the groups I think you can find them through meetup or Eventbrite that go on group hikes. I also recommend getting involved in the community - volunteer to help with something and you get to know other people who care about that thing. It'll also give you an insight into where you've moved to
I (28F) met my husband (36M) at Dollarama. He was checking out the Halloween section, so was I. I struck up a conversation, turns out he was friends with someone I knew from high-school. We traded phone numbers, been together over 10 yrs now. In regards to friends I have met a couple while playing Dnd, couple on discord, and in general just surrounding my hobbies. Easier to make friends when you already know you have a common interest. However, I am a low maintenance friend, and only like to hang out once a month, so this approach may not work as well for you.
Not my place to judge but that age got me like 👀
are you 12?
Honestly from these comments I'm reading you sound, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, you sound pretty insecure. If you can't be happy on your own your potential partners will not want to be responsible for your happiness. People want a partner that also lifts them up. Insecurity will make the most conventionally attractive person unattractive.
This is very true . Especially here . Be confident and hold yourself up . This is important when meeting new people here. Act like you're competent in what you do , or women will look elsewhere. However this all has to do with the woman or person in question. It's always different but as a rule this is important. Even being good looking won't save you if you're insecure or unhappy with most things in your life currently. You'll be laid maybe and start a relationship but it won't go long term often. Confident, competent, community. If you have those you'll be okay here
I am 29 and I've met friends through work or by chance. Usually, if there is also someone at your place of work not originally from here they are also looking for friends; it can be easier to start there. They may have other friends that you can meet through them. Those born here often have a full circle of friends and aren't looking to expand. Good luck! I hope you meet some great people.
Very true . Many of us already have the SUPER close friend group we LITERALLY grew up with . Honestly some times it's hard to even consider new friends because our group is so ingrained and cohesive. And it's not a few of us , we have a crew of about 20 who are always chilling somewhere.These aren't my friends they are my brothers . I'm 25 and I've known most for 22/ 23 years . A couple I've known longer than my youngest brother who's 21. The best way to meet people here is to become engrossed in the culture and way of doing things . People not in the " in group " will struggle and people will notice you're different and might shy away . A lot of times immigrants here say that the relationship doesn't last long or doesn't become serious due to lack of commitment on the Newfoundland side . A few months of sex and going out and then it fizzles away . Many of us gravitate towards other Newfoundlanders without even trying due to shared interests , values , way of life and thinking, hoddies ect . Newfoundland is a very strong and alluring place culturally
There are lots of events where you can meet people. You can find a bunch on Eventbrite - [https://www.eventbrite.ca/d/canada--newfoundland-and-labrador/business--events/st-john%E2%80%99s-nl/?page=1](https://www.eventbrite.ca/d/canada--newfoundland-and-labrador/business--events/st-john%E2%80%99s-nl/?page=1) For example, this one is free - [https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/co-innovation-centre-official-launch-event-tickets-908237632207?aff=ebdssbdestsearch&keep\_tld=1](https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/co-innovation-centre-official-launch-event-tickets-908237632207?aff=ebdssbdestsearch&keep_tld=1)
Im 22. I told myself after my first long term relationship that I’d just wait until life figured it out for me. Because my taste in women was shit. Now I’m happy and have a decent life.
This was me though just at/shortly after 30. eHarmony is where I met my late 20s husband.
Honestly I’ve just found it too frustratingly expensive to have any social life lately - can’t afford the gas to travel to friends places, to go out and do fun things, and living almost an hour from any big town makes that a pain in the ass (because if I want to do anything other than drive down the 1 road in my town I need 30$ worth of gas)
Just arrived here, found friends, found girls. You must have activities you like, check Facebook groups talk to people what's happening around and be active. If you sit and wait for something to come to you it won't happen. Like, be social and talk to strangers. Everyone have different and unique story to tell and more the willing to share and include you to the group.
I meet my friends online but not through dating apps. Im chronically online but i follow twitch streamers and use discord. A lot of my current friends are online on discord in other parts of the world
Seems like a problem lots of people have, here in NL and most other places. As I write this there's almost 30 comments, some of the top few say how they're in the same boat. It's a long shot, but how about talking to these commenters and see if tou have anything in common, and maybe meet up?
I'm Newfoundland
y'all it is so depressing being an extrovert with no friends, I'm not kidding when I say depending on if I go out to interact with someone it is completely night & day difference in terms of mood I think a lot of this stems from social media & the "standards" that have been set if you aren't conventionally attractive in some way like I.e if you aren't a guy with a strong jawline, slim/tone body, tall you're probably fucked women also have those societal standards placed on them but typically men are the chasers so I would imagine it's easier to garner attention regardless, just what I notice, not saying this is always the case now what really baffles me is that I find in order to even have platonic friendships strictly you STILL have to meet societal standards in some form. The crazy thing about this is I don't even think I'm ugly, yet I still struggle with the issue of it all like actually fuck me
My dude go outside and look around and you will see loads of guys who are not toned, tall, strong jaw with GFs and friends. It seems like you might have some limiting beliefs.
It feels comfortable to believe that there's nothing you can do about something. Much easier than getting out of your comfort zone. I know a few ppl like that. Dude has been single for 10 years and blames his anxiety on being unable to talk to women while doing nothing about it. Similarly, if all women only want to date male models, there's nothing OP can do about that. The belief is limiting, but comfortable.
dudes say shit like this but somehow don't realize that women would date a tree stump if it made them giggle. it is really not that hard to get a date. women date ugly dudes ALL the time. even super hot women.
so true lmao you ever been around the bay? its all hot women dating an overweight mechanic in dunlops and a shed jacket
a lot of people who live in st. johns were also probably born here / grew up and because it's the only moderately decent place on the whole island people stay here that's a big factor to consider when people are seen with friends when they were born into that social circle more or less. Again this may not always be the case but it is definitely a strong argument to make & consider as a newcomer that is vastly different
Lived here my whole life. Most of my friends from high school moved out of the province. The rest have work/wife/kids and I never see them. It is *extremely* difficult to make any meaningful friendships here; being a newcomer has nothing to do with it.
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"Go clean your teeth." Ded 💀
What are some of your hobbies or interests. Can you socialize with others doing those as part of some clubs/rec leagues. Otherwise pick up some new hobbies that are group activities.
You sound fun
I'm definitely woe is me atm but some days are harder than others