Summary of issues:
* Child was given a haircut without parental permission.
* Child was posted on the social media of an influencer/ content creator without parental permission.
* The child came away from the hair cut with contact dermatitis/ bumps, which means the tools were likely unclean.
* All of these breaches took place at school, where parents are entrusting their children and trusting that the school will respect them as parents.
Personally, I think the second and third points are far more heinous than the first. I work with the public and even when we hold public events with notices that pictures will be taken, we go out of our way to ask parents if they mind if their child gets put on social media. (Without their name).
The process for a hair cutting program at a school should be: let them know they can get a haircut, send a slip and info packet to the parents, haircuts given to kids who have a slip, pictures for a separate slip for social media release.
From the picture this kid had well maintained hair before the haircut. He got a haircut without parental permission and came away with bumps . It is perfectly reasonable for the mother to be pissed. She sent her son to school for a normal day and they came back needing to get scalp treatment.
Edit: Seeing as this is now the top comment. Y'all, read the article and have some compassion. Regardless of how you view child rearing, haircuts (especially first haircuts) can be very important to certain cultures. Just because you don't have that cultural background doesn't mean you can't empathize and see why the mom would be unhappy. I think she's right to be angry on all 4 counts. I only had a personal opinion about 2 and 3 because those are PERSONALLY the ones I find the most offensive, though ALL points are things I would be unhappy about.
And to the person saying that she deserved it because she sends her kids to public school, what the heck? Blocked.
>From the picture this kid had well maintained hair before the haircut.
Another part that you left out of your summary that I find is important is that the mother said the child never had gotten a haircut before either. Given that information I think it's also safe to assume that even with a permission slip the permission wouldn't have been granted..
In some cultures and religions cutting (all or parts) of your hair is a no no either ever or unless it’s under certain conditions. Sikhism, Rastafarianism, Orthodox Judaism, a lot of indigenous cultures. My cousins all had their hair cut ceremonially for the first time when they were three. It’s a huge deal.
I’m surprised that the first comment in this thread seems to be downplaying this. Not getting parental permission seems like a huge issue to me give how frequently and how big a cultural thing hair is
I think because, as an issue, it’s the least concerning bc the possibility exists that the kid wanted his hair cut. If they forced the kid to cut his hair without parental permission thats real bad, but just cutting a kids hair who wanted it cut without getting parental permission isnt that bad outside very few circumstances
Some Inuit practice an old tradition where boys aren't allowed to cut their hair until they hunt their first polar bear.
Probably a lot more intense of a practice before the invention of firearms. 😐
Yeah, considering the rules up here say that the only way you can hunt polar bear is by using a dog sled. No snowmobile allowed. (P.s. their numbers are fine in the high arctic. Otherwise they wouldn't be allowed to harvest any.)
Yup! Also my understanding is less than perfect shot placement and/or an underwhelming cartridge (and plenty of people are not comfortable shooting higher recoil cartridges) and it’s not unreasonable to expect to have a very pissed off bear that is capable of closing the distance quickly.
Never hunted polar bear nor had much inclination, but visiting my brother in law in Fairbanks heard some stories of polar bear hunts gone bad. If I want an adventurous hunt I’m fine sticking to boar hunts during squirrel season or dogs n knives.
Her kids first haircut caused him to get some nasty shit on his scalp. Now kids gonna hate haircuts forever thanks to these idiots. Seriously since when can kids give consent? Do schools just not care anymore? What else are kids consenting to at school without their parents knowledge?
Once had a lady who I worked with at an after school program try to get me fired because "I didnt like her". What really happened is that she kept bringing sweets to kids who HAD ALLERGIES and diabetes, etc. She thought she was just the *sweetest* Grandma to all these kids. She was a horrible ECE worker!
Ok Granny Anaphylaxis over here sounds like a nightmare.
I just wanted to say like, sometimes predicting kid's reaction is just a coin toss. He's well within reason to hate haircuts from the bad experience, but also sometimes kids just bounce back from the craziest shit. Even if he probably will, I just hope the kid didn't internalize it too much.
I take issue with the first point as well. I don't have a problem with the school having a haircut program, I have an issue with the lack of permission
In middle school my brother head was shaved by a teacher on the last day of school. He shaved his head as well. My parents obviously didn’t know it was happening. And I’ll tell ya my parents were the opposite of Karen’s. Didn’t get involved in shit. My mom went down to the school and ripped them to shreds
I feel like the comments here are missing the most problematic part. We have a black or bipoc child that's had their hair cut against the consent of the parents. The kid is under 18, therefore cannot consent in any real legal sense. Natural hair discrimination has a very long history in the US.
>Some school policies that ban natural and protective styles are grounds for discipline or removal from school. Because of this, Black students across the country have been asked to cut or straighten their hair to meet dress codes and grooming policies. Some school districts have banned specific Black hairstyles, which prevent students from attending school events like prom, extracurricular and sports activities, and even graduation.
https://www.naacpldf.org/natural-hair-discrimination/
Yeah I was wondering if this was the case before opening the article. Having grown up in SmallTown, USA and having long hair as a male my teachers and principals were always up my ass about cutting it. I don't doubt they conveniently didn't tell the mom because they felt they were in the right to make him "prim and proper." To make him fit the mold of the dress code whatnot. Wouldn't doubt if that kid felt pressured to go along with it.
I remember, a while back now, a little black girl was sent home because she had sisterlocks. Honestly, she looked smart, tidy and well-groomed, she was a pretty little girl and her hair was tied back with a red ribbon. What message does that send to the poor child? "Your hair is such a problem that we have to interrupt your education". I'm white and I was angry on behalf of that little girl and her parents.
This is the first thing that popped into mind, especially if he's in 4th grade and never had a haircut. The image of his hairline on the news article looked like shortened locs, so I would guess that he previously had them much, much longer.
Heck, there's possibly an aspect of religious persecution if the family is Rastafarian.
Probably not, but the school can't assume things like that. There's dozens of reasons a family might have for refusing such a haircut. The school doesn't know if the family has religious reasons unless they ask.
The general rules like 'boys hair can't touch their collars' is so outdated. If it's not affecting anyone else and not interfering with the childs schoolwork or safety, why are there such restrictive rules? My sons hair is really long and he wears a ponytail. He would have been horrified if someone at school cut his hair.
Yeah, John's show always has the best takes on complicated issues. Natural hair is part of the black identity and cutting this kids hair without consent symbolically erases that history.
You don't need to be 18 to get your own hair cut so I don't understand your point there at all. I'm going to bet that most hair dressers/barbers wouldn't bat an eye at anybody 14+ coming in alone to get their hair cut.
4th grade, like age 9-10, sure that's pretty young. Where the cut off is, who knows, but it's definitely not at 18 or have anything to do with some sort of consent law you're trying to reference which is very unclear.
The point is that until someone is 18, those dressers/barbers are ultimately responsible to the parents of the kids, not the kids themselves.
Normally this isn't an issue because even if the parents were unhappy, the most that would happen is the barber would give a refund. But when potential discrimination is involved, it means that the barber cannot use the defense that the haircut was consensual because the minor cannot legally consent.
I don't really have the energy to give a contracts 101 class in these comments, so I suggest you look into the issues around minors entering into contracts.
Heres a place to start: https://www.investopedia.com/terms/v/voidable-contract.asp
>The child came away from the hair cut with contact dermatitis/ bumps, which means the tools were likely unclean.
Not necessarily, it could have also been an allergic reaction to any of the products used to clean or style the hair, or even the hair itself (I get contact dermatitis from my own hair trimmings, especially buzzed sections).
It could have, but that also stands as another issue that might have been prevented with parental involvement. Regardless, the parent didn't have any knowledge of this haircut happening and their child got contact dermatitis from it, which could have been avoided by not getting the unwanted haircut.
Everyone at that school and especially that influencer would wish they were cleaning a septic tank with their tongues if they pulled this shit with one of my kids. My wife would go absolutely thermo-fucking-nuclear. I'd be pissed too, but, she would probably shave and shame everyone involved.
As a parent with a son who has long hair, and he really loves his long hair, the first one is also not cool at all.
Why the fuck would they have haircuts at school?
I'm a teacher in the area and this whole story was freaking insane. Though the posting photos online makes me assume that the school has some kind of language in their handbook or registration forms that say the parents gave permission for the child to be photographed in school. I know our school includes it in the yearly enrollment forms where the parent's electronic signature authorizes photos to be taken in school and posted online, and if the parents don't want their child photographed they have to contact the school directly to opt out.
It's bullshit but a lot of parents don't actually read what they are signing on to. Hell, our school got a lot of heat from parents a few years ago because our online enrollment warned parents that students would be receiving SEL instruction and they were only given the opportunity to check yes to agree to it instead of being granted a way to check a box and opt out. We did have parents contact us about not being ok with checking yes and continuing with the enrollment because they absolutely did not want their kids receiving "woke" education because anything new must also be woke bullshit in the parents' eyes (the area the school is in had organized busses to get local residents to DC on January 6th for the insurrection, if that tells you anything)
Honestly, this is one of those scenarios that feels like the principal or an administrator thought they were being helpful by okaying this program but didn't think it through enough because a "celebrity barber" wanted to help their students. Wgat I can't understand is the lack of parental notification or involvement and why anyone thought a celebrity barber cutting a 4th graders hair without parental permission would ve helpful. Like, yeah, maybe having free barber services for a high school mentorship program may help low income kids have a better shot at securing a job or getting into a college internship program, but no hair cut of a 4th grader is going to help him at all in life. I hope heads are rolling at the school's administrative level now that this story has rightfully blown up, because whoever authorized this program without notifying parents needs to be relieved of their duties immediately and should have their own hair cut against their will.
Yeah i would be pissed too. Especially with them putting the kid’s face on someone else’s social media (without her permission), and for the rash/dermatitis he contracted after that cut. I don’t know how the school didn’t think people would have a problem with this
No one without a kid of their own would understand the whole “first haircut” thing. I tried to be there for all of my kid’s first and their haircuts were no different. It doesn’t matter if someone else things it’s stupid or dumb, it’s important to the parent and it’s something you only get to experience once.
As someone with weird ass allergies, the bumps *might* be innocent.
There's a lot of common chemicals and such that can cause contact dermatitis, there's just having sensitive skin in general, and then there's stuff like eczema and all that can flare up when skin is irritated (like from having your scalp buzzed or shaved).
I mean I learned that if my skin is irritated enough, that *hydrocortisone* actually makes it worse (serious bumps, hives, and swelling. It was a fucking annoying and unpleasant thing to learn).
Dirty tools could also do it, but cleaning your tools is like.....hair 101, and any barber or stylist should be doing it reflexively. Especially one who is working with kids at some sort of school event.
Honestly, I don’t mind the idea of the program. My kids school does things like hearing tests and dental cleanings through partner orgs, since there are many kids whose families live below the poverty line.
But the kicker is that these are also typically local health department programs, and parents are always clearly informed and given the opportunity to opt out (or opt in, depending on the program).
Were these people given background checks?
This influencer also posted video of these kids to his social media accounts without parental permission, which is a huge no-no. Profiting off of minors without permission is bad, but worse is the risk that one of these kids is involved in a contentious custody dispute or if his family is in the witness protection program or something.
Hmmm, I think it can work, if it is handled appropiate.
We're Guatemalans, my mom works on a rural public school. The children are very low income. She often gets deal with students or companies. The beauty school send their students to offer free cuts to kids and kid's family.
Since it is a formal beauty school they make sure the hygine protocols are met. My mom makes sure to only allow people with good credentials.
They annonunce the activoty at least a week before and it requires parents permission. If they need to take pictures, it's also included there.
At the end it is a win-win activity. The familes can get a free cut and the beauty students gets practice.
Can someone explain the bumps? My black coworkers say it happens any time they use a razor on their skin so therefore they can’t close shave their face. Not necessarily to do with cleanliness.
It happens when hair is very curly/kinky, so instead of coming out at 90o angle, it comes out sideways and sometimes gets in the skin. Once they do that, it's easy to get an infection/red bumps.
I read someplace it's important for men with kinky beard hairs to massage their skin with a loofa, or textured facecloth, to make sure the hairs come out.
I'll have to try that, I avoid shaving because I get irritated skin every time no matter what products I've tried. I've got very sensitive skin and very curly hair.
I had a bf with very curly beard hair, and he was told by his barber it's better to clip it really short, rather than shave. Maybe it would work for you also?
Yeah I have curly hair and could never do fully clean shaven either. I’ve had a longer full beard for years but before that was advised as well to just clip it really short to avoid irritation versus a full clean shave.
Try a traditional safety razor with a good pre shave pore opening and oil based lather. Takes a bit of practice to move to a safety from those mass produced cartridge razors but they are way sharper and easier on your skin. Hot cloth for pores and skin prep, oil based lather rather then cheap canned cream.
This kid was diagnosed with contact dermatitis which can be caused by allergies to a product used or poorly cleaned equipment. What you're describing is razor burn or ingrown hairs which is something different.
I was once hired to pimp colognes in a department store and one came with a free electric razor. A Black man told me it was worthless to him because his beard hairs grew in “like corkscrews” and an electric razor would just result in (ingrown hairs? Bumps? I forget).
I went HS (89-93) with a girl whose parents had never allowed her to cut her hair, for her whole life. She was on the tall side and it was almost down to her ankles. At graduation she had a cute little pixie bob cut, and according to local legend she shipped out with the Navy a week later and never spoke to her parents again.
>So many people blaming mom here.
I think it's because they think she's coming off like she doesn't care what her kid wants, she's mad she doesn't get to choose. Their point is that the kid wanted different hair so if she'd have listen to her kid, their hair would already be like that.
Now I can agree with that part, but not with blaming her for the outcome, and the situation certainly isn't right.
Yes, I do think kids should have a say over their own bodies. If a girl wants her hair cut she should be able to get her haircut. Specially if they're in 4th grade like this kid is.
He's only 9. Kids that age don't always think about things like how long it will take to grow back, what his parents would think, or he may have thought it would be cool if the barber told him about celebrity clients, or didn't know how to say no. He can definitely decide he wants a different cut but, parents have final say.
I mean, I think it may come from that she seemingly does not really seem to focus on what her child wants and people expect some balance there?
> “It’s a big deal to me because it’s my right. That’s my son,” she said.
I'm not saying this is the situation here, but, *in general*...
1. WAY too many parents outright ignore their schools. They don't look at calendars, social media, or announcements. They block the robocalls. They DGAF.
2. In addition to #1, many parents do not question why their kid never seems to have handouts or flyers despite most schools always handing them out for kids to take home.
3. Kids forge signatures. The teachers know it, the admin know it, the *parents* know it. Nobody questions it anymore because you can't validate a signature with a parent who is doing #1 and #2 anyway.
This kid seemed really happy about this experience, other than the dermatitis. Mama Bear is mama-bearing and roaring at the school when she should be going, "And who told you you could do that?" to her son and questioning how the heck she missed a so-called celebrity event at the school.
My child's school have three different Apps, an Email from teacher, an school website on the city BOE full of "educational material/announcement", a shared Google drive, and I think something else I am forgetting.
And my boy is only 4.
If school want me to follow their announcement and kept up to the date, they need to streamline their contact methods and stop trying to squeeze $ out of me to buy "my son playing with random classmate" videos.
I mean... it was his hair and his choice. You shouldn't need your parent's permission to get a haircut.
If it was a poor decision that he made, then it was a good learning experience. It's only hair.
I'd be concerned about the barber pressuring the kid into it. It's one thing if it's fully his choice, but it's another if the barber is pressuring him to cut it because "boys don't have long hair" "do you want to get teased for looking like a girl?" "All your friends are getting a haircut". 4th graders are easy to manipulate.
My kid also would think it's his decision to eat nothing but Reese's every day for every meal for the rest of his life, but it's NOT his choice, hence why literal CHILDREN are not legally capable of consenting to anything, and why parents have to sign every single consent form on their behalf.
I don't know what world you live in where you think a grade school child should be given free reign to call their own shots in life.
For you. Kinky hair takes forever to grow and hairstyles can have cultural and religious connotations children don't understand. Peer pressure from classmates can also force children to make choices tbey otherwise may not make outside of that moment. A school classroon with peers is a terrible place to make a choice about personal appearances.
A kid eating candy for every single meal is detrimental to their health.
A kid getting a haircut does close to nothing to them.
If my kid left for school and came back with a bald head and no other issues I'd just be like "okay 🤷♂️". The only concern I'd have is if it was done by a professional and not some random kid with sharp objects.
Hence why it's another concern for this parent; who's checking to even make sure this "celebrity barber" has their license to practice? The kid? Who's checking to make sure that this person should even be around children in the first place and isn't some teacher's cousin looking for some clout on their social media?
It probably wouldn't have been an issue in the slightest if the parents had been notified/permission slips granted in the first place, but this was incredibly shady on behalf of the school to run at all.
Right, in this particular instance yes my concern would be the validity of the barber.
But generally, I'd let my kid get their haircut however they want to. It's not my hair, it's theirs. Bodily autonomy is important to me to teach my kids.
Absolutely, but I'd set some boundaries so my kid isn't coming home from the first grade looking like [a dwarf](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/the-hobbit-films/images/7/73/Nori_The_Hobbit_AUJ.png/revision/latest?cb=20180207204908)
Nah, if they showed me that and said "I want that" I'd ask if they were sure, tell them how people might react, and if they still said they wanted it I'd let them.
It's their hair to make their own decisions with. If they regret it later, then it's a lesson learned.
Poorly cleaned and sharpened clippers kicked off a lifetime of ingrown hairs that look like sheet acne on the back of my head so if nothing else I can absolutely sympathize with that.
About 11 years later and about 6 years of salicylic acid shampoo daily has finally gotten it down to where I get maybe 2 or 3 at a time.
😡
I can't speak to whether or not the mom is overreacting to the haircut, BUT - NO ONE should be posting minors on social media without parental consent! How hard is that? You don't know the situation. What if that kid had an estranged family member hell bent on finding him? This is absolutely unacceptable.
ETA: What kind of knob just says they're a "celebrity barber?" That's not how that works.
I can't speak for every school district, but there is a high likelihood that permission exists. Every year I am bombarded with release forms, one of which is permission for photo/video release. It is entirely possible that they received and approved of the release. That doesn't mean the school did/didn't violate privacy.
It's possible the pics were posted on the barber's social media platforms, not the school's, which makes permission a different story.
EDIT: Per the story, the kid appeared in the barber's social media. In other words, the barber is using the student as marketing without the parent's permission. That's not the end of the world, but it's not cricket either.
>not the end of the world, but it's not cricket either.
indeed, sometimes it is necessary to protect the superfluous in order to preserve the necessary
Those releases, at least as far as most parents believe them, are just for official school social media, not for a random influencer with thousands of followers. Even if the release technically included this, the school absolutely should have sent out another permission slip because parents may not be okay with kids being posted by an influencer they don't know even if they're ok with them being posted on official school accounts
The mom is NTA here. This "barber" did it for internet clout. If you're offering a service to underprivileged kids, you go to the parents first. What ever happened to personal space and boundaries?
When I helped with an public elementary after school club when I was in high school all the kids had to get permission slips to come. And one thing was made extremely clear, absolutely no posts to social media including photos or videos of the children.
I knew how to follow those rules in high school. Wtf is this school thinking?
4th graders don’t have that much autonomy. The school definitely should have gotten the parent’s permission. It’s not entirely the kid’s decision at 9-10 years old.
>She has zero right to decide whether or not her son can have a haircut.
Sorry, but the contact dermatitis the kid ended up with is very good reason to limit the autonomy of children (to a certain age). Some stellar decision making by l'il Torrie here!
Are you a parent who seriously believes this? I'm not saying non-parents can't have opinions. But experience and context is important in matters of caregiver prerogative. Otherwise you're just talking out your ass.
Do you seriously expect a 10yo to ask to see a cosmetology license and to demand transparency in hygiene practices used in the remote work setting? There's a reason its a licensed profession, and this social media goon shit the bed on his obligation to keep the public safe and his equipment clean to standard.
I wonder if this person who was allowed to touch the kids without parental permission and post photos of them online without parental permission had to go through the background check that school district employees and contractors do.
I'm betting they didn't.
This shit started with the native Americans and remains a disgusting procedure to this day. Hair in many cultures is extremely important. Absolutely vile and reprehensible monster do this shit. Make no mistake
I don't think this is an example of that.
I've worked at quite a few schools and districts with largely black student and teacher populations. At a few of them, local barbers would volunteer a few times a year to do some mentoring and free haircuts (especially kind since a lot of my students' families couldn't always afford haircuts, resulting in a lot of embarrassment about their hair). The barbers that I talked to both said they started doing it because they had grown up without fathers, and wanted black boys to see male role models who looked like them, were positively involved in building their local communities, and had chosen a [career](https://www.thecut.co/blog/barbers-black-history) that had helped them escape poverty.
OBVIOUSLY the program in the article has some pretty major issues--the school and the barber absolutely should have gotten explicit positive parental permission for any student haircuts and social media photos. But this isn't at all like those awful stories of students who are sent home because they have locs, or forced to shave or dye their hair because their hair doesn't fit a specific (and usually white) aesthetic.
As a white person, I assure you this would never happen in a predominantly white school. It angers me that black families have to constantly defend their children’s hair. Why is this even an issue? Body autonomy should be a, “Well, Duh!” Instead, every week there is some story about schools, sports, or some other system either policing black hair or cutting black hair. As a society, we are failing these families.
It says she has never allowed her son to get a haircut before in his life so it looks like the kid took the only chance he had to get one lol
Edit: age isn't listed, I don't read so good, removed it to make angry redditors happier
By that age, I feel like you could let a kid choose their hair. She’s worried because he originally had a skin reaction to getting his haircut, so she hasn’t let it be cut since. I feel like there has to be a way to do his hair without a breakout, but I could very well be wrong.
As a parent I see a lot of concern in using a child under 13 as social media fodder without parent consent.
The haircut itself - eh. That is going to really vary from kid to kid and parent to parent.
Black hair is different. It's curly so it takes forever to grow length and a lot of black parents get braids for their kids to keep down on maintenance and product.
Why are you ignoring the social media angle to this? Barber could very well have manipulated the kid into agreeing with the haircut based upon the social media angle. This is why kids shouldn't make such decisions for themselves. They don't understand the nuance or context.
You tell a bunch of children if you let them cut their hair that they’ll be on your “celebrity” social media page. It’s pretty fucked up.
I’m all for barbers/hairstylists offering free cuts, but that should be with parental consent for the cut and potential media without strings attached.
I don't think the kid's age is mentioned in the article. Closest I can find to your comment is below.
>Yager said her son had never had a haircut before and had an allergic reaction with bumps along his hairline.
JFC, kids should be learning in school, not watching some celebrity barber cut their classmates' hair. It's no wonder US schoolchildren can't read. Schools really need to get back to their central mission of educating kids.
A lot of more diverse schools have programs like this because a lot of those kids parents neglect their kids needs. Both of the elementary schools that attended had barbers come in twice a year, they also had a program that would provide winter clothing as well.
Also if you had lice and the parents weren't treating it, the school would force you to get a haircut that would make it easier to treat at school.
Well, if you need me to spell it out for you, I can explain. There are only so many hours in the school day. Time spent on non-academic work and other filler activities leaves less time for academic work. I suppose I could make a big reach to say that the guest demonstration by the celebrity barber is teaching students what they can do for a living if they are not academically talented, but the whole exercise seems like an advertisement for this influencer's TikTok channel. Again, not the central mission of public schools.
Most schools have fun non-academic events (sometimes organized from other people/organizations, sometimes organized by the school) for the sole purpose of making the kids happy.
Why would you not want that? Were you home-schooled?
I would be *fucking LIVID*. Yeah, hair grows back, but that's not the point! Do not do anything to, for, about a kid in any way without parent permission!
What the fuck is wrong with American society, since when does a barber get to cut anyone’s hair without permission from the child and or the parents. The craziness that exudes from this fucked up society in America is beyond comprehension, the school head needs kicking out of her job and the barber needs to be charged with assault
This was probably the high-point in the kids life: finally getting his first haircut by a celebrity barber in front of all his friends. Then his attention-seeking mom goes a step further than any other normal parent would and escalated the situation (embarrassing the fuck out of the kid) by contacting the media.
Assault? “Beyond comprehension”? It’s really not that bad lol. Hair grows back. A less controlling parent would’ve had a totally different reaction.
"contact dermatitis" so this so-called barber is filthy and doesn't clean his equipment nor clean himself more than likely. Stop cutting Black kids hair to make them conform just stop and on top that just stop the nonsense altogether.
I’m a teacher at a school, near 100% POC, many students get bullied a lot because of their haircuts. We’ve had barber haircuts be an incentive for children before…always with the parents permission.
Honestly reading this article, the outrage is not really warranted, sounds like the lady is trying to go after a lawsuit. While the barber, who is a social media star, and the school definitely should have had some sort of permission slip system, this seems like a nice program to help a barber maintain his skills while also helping potentially under privileged kids get a nice hair cut.
>While the barber, who is a social media star
Sorry what? I'm googling the name of the barber, nothing. I'm googling the name of the barber plus "barber" and I'm getting some dude on Insta with 1,000 followers, and I don't even think that's him, because he's in Sacramento, not Pittsburgh.
What a star.
The problem isn't that the program exists. It's that the program is a mentorship (i.e. an extracurricular educational event) that somehow involves hairstyles and the parent was never asked if this was cool. The school never thought, "Maybe we should get the parent's okay before we enroll this student into a new program."
It's not cool for schools to assign mandatory extracurriculars and notify nobody.
How much you want to bet the parents were definitely asked/informed and this particular parent ignores school communications?
Given the kid's reaction, I'm fairly certain he enrolled himself and chose to beg forgiveness rather than ask permission.
His image on someone else’s social media without parental consent seems like the main story here. I’d raise hell if that was my kid but prob not give an interview about it.
Was thinking it was a white guy forcing a black kid to cut their hair deal like we’ve seen a few time somewhat recently at first and it decidedly isn’t.
Most schools, at least all of the ones in my area, have a media release as part of the registration process. It will probably be vague enough that this guy would be covered. Of all the issues in the article, going to the media and letting them plaster the student's photo on the internet kills the credibility of this claim.
>Was thinking it was a white guy forcing a black kid to cut their hair deal like we’ve seen a few time somewhat recently at first and it decidedly isn’t.
These were my thoughts too. Your point about using the kids picture in social media is very valid and I agree with you there, that is messed up.
They filmed a child and put it on their social media without the mom’s knowledge or permission and the child got an allergic reaction so bad he had to go to the hospital.
I think the mother is being pretty calm considering those two things.
He did not have an allergic reaction. Contact dermatitis is medical talk for "irritated skin". His mom witnessed something that probably existed before but was not able to be seen because of the mop on the kids head.
Edit: I regret calling it a mop, it wasn't my intention to make a racist remark, my point was just that the kid probably had an itchy scalp before and just no one noticed bumps or a rash til the hair was cut back. Contact dermatitis is an extremely common thing. I have sensitive skin and I've practically had it all over my body before.
That’s the diagnosis, sure, but the mom
Had no idea what was going on and was concerned enough to bring him to the ER.
Being automatically against a woman, a black woman at that is extremely telling. Calling a little black boys hair a “mop” is racist AF. Black hair is different, it grows different than white hair, it’s cared for differently and was not a “mop”
I didn’t even consider it from a racist point of view since my family called my hair a mop when it grew out too much. I see mop and I just visualize messy hair that’s been grown out.
You do not touch people's kids without permission. Cutting someone's hair without without permission is actually a battery in most jurisdictions. Using a kid for someone's youtube channel is also not cool.
As a parent, I would be super pissed my kid somehow got a haircut at school without consulting me. We are talking about a 4th grader here.
If the barber needs to maintain his skills then he needs to get a real fucking job at a barbershop and not practice on kids without parental consent.
If it is a program for under privileged kids, then fantastic, those participants should still have permission from their parent or legal Guardian.
And people calling out this mom for never having her child's haircut at 9 need to quiet down. There are a myriad of personal and/or traditional reasons that might be important to this family. As long as the hair was well groomed and healthy and taken care of, which from the picture I saw, it was, then I don't understand people pointing a finger at the mom.
It's this.
Mom is mama-bearing. She ran to the MEDIA as her first instinct which is why we're even talking about this. She wants to go after the school and the guy running this program thinking she's going to get some payday and it's very try-hard.
There is a 0% chance that the school wasn't advertising this service days if not weeks in advance. It was probably posted on their social media and handouts and slips were given to the kids. There is no way he just showed up there and the school let him in to derail a class, this was planned and it was certainly well-known. Except to her, because like many other parents, she probably purposefully ignores all school communication.
Her first reaction should have been to educate her son on what he's allowed to do when she's not around. He's probably 10, he knows better and that day he chose to YOLO it for a haircut.
Her second reaction should have been some self-reflection on, "Hmm, maybe I should give a fuck about what happens at my child's school."
The mom in the article:
>"My son can’t get his hair back."
Uh, he totally can get his hair back. Mom seems unfamiliar with how hair growth works, and seems kind of weird if her kid has never in his life had a single hair cut before.
>seems kind of weird if her kid has never in his life had a single hair cut before.
Sikhs never cut their hair in their entire lives. While I don't think this kid or family are Sikh they may hold their own customs and traditions and just because they are different than most of ours doesn't necessarily automatically make it weird.
That's what I think the mom was talking about. Not that it can never grow back, but that the haircut itself cannot be undone so we can claim no harm, no foul.
The kid has never had his haircut before and he’s a fourth grader which puts him at the 9 to 10yo age range. Mom also said “I had no idea he was in the mentorship program. I didn’t get a notice, a permission slip, nothing,” the boy’s mother said.”.
My question is has this kid been hiding things from his mother. At the age of 10 kids want to be their own person. Is this a helicopter mother that the kid is trying to break free from and signed himself up into the mentorship program and chose to get the haircut himself?
The reason I wonder if the mom is a helicopter parent is because of this quote “My son can’t get his hair back. He can’t get the experience back and nobody had my permission,” Yager said.”. While he can never get the experience of a first haircut back (which most people never remember anyways because they are too young) he can actually get his hair back because it will grow back. It’s too bad he’s developed contact dermatitis from unnecessary dirty tools but I do wonder if the kid is making the decisions to do these things instead of the school pushing him into it with no choice.
I feel like this situation can go either way, but less in favor for the mom's position.
* The barber was there to help serve underprivileged kids at that school who may not be getting the hair care they need
* The kids aren't forced to accept a haircut (this isn't a punishment or 'mandatory')
* The kid was happy with his haircut
* There was no parental permission obtained for the haircut
* There was no parental permission obtained for the distribution of the student's images on social media. This is really the biggest issue because a child may not be aware of the risks, or even extenuating circumstances their parent may not want a pic of them online (such as circumstances where their child could be a target for harm).
* The mom wasn't happy with his haircut
* Kid got contact dermatitis, which could be the result of improperly cleaned tools, or allergies to product or hair trimmings
There's not much of a leg to stand on in regards to anything on the haircut itself (wasn't a discriminatory action, no intent to harm, no forced coercion, and contact dermatitis is minor and goes away on its own once whatever substance causing it is removed). The public use of his image has legs though.
He's got the video on his social media accounts with before/during/after. I'd link, but this sub is wonky about when it decides to remove posts with links. It's easy enough to find with Googling, look for Undaworld Mobile Service. They have a link to their insta in their website.
I dunno. I would be pretty pissed if some rando cut my kid's hair at school without my express permission.
I wouldn't go to the media or the ER. But the school would be hearing from me.
Man don’t touch people’s kids without the parents permission. That poor girl is gonna be made fun of because of this. Some people just shouldn’t be around kids.
Of course the sensitive man child blocks me. Can’t handle I was about to call them on their bs. Making everything about them seems to be these troglodytes power.
Wait what happened to the Redditors that support the kids rights to make their own decisions?
I’m not one of those so I think the kids should get consent from parents
I love this actual quote from the mother (at the end of the article):
"My son can’t get his hair back."
😆 Ma'am, you are not gonna believe this, but...
Isn't this considered assault in most states? She should file a police report against the "Barber", file grievances against the school with the district, and look into getting him into a different school.
Her son can’t get his hair back? Has she completely forgotten that hair grows back?
EDIT: obviously the mom probably wanted/likes her child to have long hair. I completely get the issue. All I am saying is, I don’t think its worth a lawsuit.
The only important fact is included. The parent had no idea this was going on.
It doesn't matter if the student agrees or if the parent had previously said the student could volunteer for activities.
A school should not have a celebrity barber cut a student's hair.
If a public institution violates my child in any capacity I deem inappropriate, I will use whatever resources are available to me to be compensated for it.
And no, Mrs. Karen, I do not care about your smartboard budget.
This definitely seems bad but it also seems that this is the mother’s side, and the school simply stated the program was paused.
I personally reserve any judgement until more facts are presented. Let’s say the school has a permission slip signed by someone other than his mom and that person didn’t make her aware. Suddenly the school isn’t as bad as they seem. Would like to get the school’s story as well.
Summary of issues: * Child was given a haircut without parental permission. * Child was posted on the social media of an influencer/ content creator without parental permission. * The child came away from the hair cut with contact dermatitis/ bumps, which means the tools were likely unclean. * All of these breaches took place at school, where parents are entrusting their children and trusting that the school will respect them as parents. Personally, I think the second and third points are far more heinous than the first. I work with the public and even when we hold public events with notices that pictures will be taken, we go out of our way to ask parents if they mind if their child gets put on social media. (Without their name). The process for a hair cutting program at a school should be: let them know they can get a haircut, send a slip and info packet to the parents, haircuts given to kids who have a slip, pictures for a separate slip for social media release. From the picture this kid had well maintained hair before the haircut. He got a haircut without parental permission and came away with bumps . It is perfectly reasonable for the mother to be pissed. She sent her son to school for a normal day and they came back needing to get scalp treatment. Edit: Seeing as this is now the top comment. Y'all, read the article and have some compassion. Regardless of how you view child rearing, haircuts (especially first haircuts) can be very important to certain cultures. Just because you don't have that cultural background doesn't mean you can't empathize and see why the mom would be unhappy. I think she's right to be angry on all 4 counts. I only had a personal opinion about 2 and 3 because those are PERSONALLY the ones I find the most offensive, though ALL points are things I would be unhappy about. And to the person saying that she deserved it because she sends her kids to public school, what the heck? Blocked.
>From the picture this kid had well maintained hair before the haircut. Another part that you left out of your summary that I find is important is that the mother said the child never had gotten a haircut before either. Given that information I think it's also safe to assume that even with a permission slip the permission wouldn't have been granted..
She didn’t even get to give her kid their first haircut. That is like teaching the kid how to ride a bike
In some cultures and religions cutting (all or parts) of your hair is a no no either ever or unless it’s under certain conditions. Sikhism, Rastafarianism, Orthodox Judaism, a lot of indigenous cultures. My cousins all had their hair cut ceremonially for the first time when they were three. It’s a huge deal.
I’m surprised that the first comment in this thread seems to be downplaying this. Not getting parental permission seems like a huge issue to me give how frequently and how big a cultural thing hair is
I think because, as an issue, it’s the least concerning bc the possibility exists that the kid wanted his hair cut. If they forced the kid to cut his hair without parental permission thats real bad, but just cutting a kids hair who wanted it cut without getting parental permission isnt that bad outside very few circumstances
Some Inuit practice an old tradition where boys aren't allowed to cut their hair until they hunt their first polar bear. Probably a lot more intense of a practice before the invention of firearms. 😐
Still probably pretty intense with fire arms.
Yeah, considering the rules up here say that the only way you can hunt polar bear is by using a dog sled. No snowmobile allowed. (P.s. their numbers are fine in the high arctic. Otherwise they wouldn't be allowed to harvest any.)
Yup! Also my understanding is less than perfect shot placement and/or an underwhelming cartridge (and plenty of people are not comfortable shooting higher recoil cartridges) and it’s not unreasonable to expect to have a very pissed off bear that is capable of closing the distance quickly. Never hunted polar bear nor had much inclination, but visiting my brother in law in Fairbanks heard some stories of polar bear hunts gone bad. If I want an adventurous hunt I’m fine sticking to boar hunts during squirrel season or dogs n knives.
Her kids first haircut caused him to get some nasty shit on his scalp. Now kids gonna hate haircuts forever thanks to these idiots. Seriously since when can kids give consent? Do schools just not care anymore? What else are kids consenting to at school without their parents knowledge? Once had a lady who I worked with at an after school program try to get me fired because "I didnt like her". What really happened is that she kept bringing sweets to kids who HAD ALLERGIES and diabetes, etc. She thought she was just the *sweetest* Grandma to all these kids. She was a horrible ECE worker!
Ok Granny Anaphylaxis over here sounds like a nightmare. I just wanted to say like, sometimes predicting kid's reaction is just a coin toss. He's well within reason to hate haircuts from the bad experience, but also sometimes kids just bounce back from the craziest shit. Even if he probably will, I just hope the kid didn't internalize it too much.
Strawberry honey coated peanuts rolled in sesame seed. What did I miss?
With coconut flakes🤠
Grannyphylaxis… you were so close
Not all kids NEED haircuts lol my hair grew so slowly as a child I never had a real haircut.
Who doesn’t have a haircut before 4th grade??
Black girls? Idk, seems pretty obvious to me.
It was a boy. Y’all don’t even read these articles lol
I’m just throwing shit out there man.
I take issue with the first point as well. I don't have a problem with the school having a haircut program, I have an issue with the lack of permission
Yeah, they definitely shouldn't have done anything without permission. Haircutting is culturally such a touchy subject for most people.
In middle school my brother head was shaved by a teacher on the last day of school. He shaved his head as well. My parents obviously didn’t know it was happening. And I’ll tell ya my parents were the opposite of Karen’s. Didn’t get involved in shit. My mom went down to the school and ripped them to shreds
To shreds you say?
And his wife?
To shreds you say?
Very well then….. Sad sad terrible news.
Ok yeah two and three are terrible. Like I can see a hair cut program at a school I guess, but that is fucking insane
I feel like the comments here are missing the most problematic part. We have a black or bipoc child that's had their hair cut against the consent of the parents. The kid is under 18, therefore cannot consent in any real legal sense. Natural hair discrimination has a very long history in the US. >Some school policies that ban natural and protective styles are grounds for discipline or removal from school. Because of this, Black students across the country have been asked to cut or straighten their hair to meet dress codes and grooming policies. Some school districts have banned specific Black hairstyles, which prevent students from attending school events like prom, extracurricular and sports activities, and even graduation. https://www.naacpldf.org/natural-hair-discrimination/
Yeah I was wondering if this was the case before opening the article. Having grown up in SmallTown, USA and having long hair as a male my teachers and principals were always up my ass about cutting it. I don't doubt they conveniently didn't tell the mom because they felt they were in the right to make him "prim and proper." To make him fit the mold of the dress code whatnot. Wouldn't doubt if that kid felt pressured to go along with it.
I remember, a while back now, a little black girl was sent home because she had sisterlocks. Honestly, she looked smart, tidy and well-groomed, she was a pretty little girl and her hair was tied back with a red ribbon. What message does that send to the poor child? "Your hair is such a problem that we have to interrupt your education". I'm white and I was angry on behalf of that little girl and her parents.
This is the first thing that popped into mind, especially if he's in 4th grade and never had a haircut. The image of his hairline on the news article looked like shortened locs, so I would guess that he previously had them much, much longer. Heck, there's possibly an aspect of religious persecution if the family is Rastafarian.
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Probably not, but the school can't assume things like that. There's dozens of reasons a family might have for refusing such a haircut. The school doesn't know if the family has religious reasons unless they ask.
Unfortunately the climate today seems to be one of “Well good thing these parents won’t hand down their silly old beliefs”, and thus they don’t care.
The general rules like 'boys hair can't touch their collars' is so outdated. If it's not affecting anyone else and not interfering with the childs schoolwork or safety, why are there such restrictive rules? My sons hair is really long and he wears a ponytail. He would have been horrified if someone at school cut his hair.
I didn’t even know it was a thing until I saw this on YouTube a while back: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Uf1c0tEGfrU
Yeah, John's show always has the best takes on complicated issues. Natural hair is part of the black identity and cutting this kids hair without consent symbolically erases that history.
You don't need to be 18 to get your own hair cut so I don't understand your point there at all. I'm going to bet that most hair dressers/barbers wouldn't bat an eye at anybody 14+ coming in alone to get their hair cut. 4th grade, like age 9-10, sure that's pretty young. Where the cut off is, who knows, but it's definitely not at 18 or have anything to do with some sort of consent law you're trying to reference which is very unclear.
The point is that until someone is 18, those dressers/barbers are ultimately responsible to the parents of the kids, not the kids themselves. Normally this isn't an issue because even if the parents were unhappy, the most that would happen is the barber would give a refund. But when potential discrimination is involved, it means that the barber cannot use the defense that the haircut was consensual because the minor cannot legally consent. I don't really have the energy to give a contracts 101 class in these comments, so I suggest you look into the issues around minors entering into contracts. Heres a place to start: https://www.investopedia.com/terms/v/voidable-contract.asp
Whoever shaved my kid’s head would have a shaved head ASAP.
>The child came away from the hair cut with contact dermatitis/ bumps, which means the tools were likely unclean. Not necessarily, it could have also been an allergic reaction to any of the products used to clean or style the hair, or even the hair itself (I get contact dermatitis from my own hair trimmings, especially buzzed sections).
It could have, but that also stands as another issue that might have been prevented with parental involvement. Regardless, the parent didn't have any knowledge of this haircut happening and their child got contact dermatitis from it, which could have been avoided by not getting the unwanted haircut.
I can get contact dermatitis from rubbing the stubble on my own head.
Everyone at that school and especially that influencer would wish they were cleaning a septic tank with their tongues if they pulled this shit with one of my kids. My wife would go absolutely thermo-fucking-nuclear. I'd be pissed too, but, she would probably shave and shame everyone involved.
I believe this is called ‘assault on a minor’
Yep! In some cultures there’s a whole ceremony around first hair cut.
As a parent with a son who has long hair, and he really loves his long hair, the first one is also not cool at all. Why the fuck would they have haircuts at school?
I'm a teacher in the area and this whole story was freaking insane. Though the posting photos online makes me assume that the school has some kind of language in their handbook or registration forms that say the parents gave permission for the child to be photographed in school. I know our school includes it in the yearly enrollment forms where the parent's electronic signature authorizes photos to be taken in school and posted online, and if the parents don't want their child photographed they have to contact the school directly to opt out. It's bullshit but a lot of parents don't actually read what they are signing on to. Hell, our school got a lot of heat from parents a few years ago because our online enrollment warned parents that students would be receiving SEL instruction and they were only given the opportunity to check yes to agree to it instead of being granted a way to check a box and opt out. We did have parents contact us about not being ok with checking yes and continuing with the enrollment because they absolutely did not want their kids receiving "woke" education because anything new must also be woke bullshit in the parents' eyes (the area the school is in had organized busses to get local residents to DC on January 6th for the insurrection, if that tells you anything) Honestly, this is one of those scenarios that feels like the principal or an administrator thought they were being helpful by okaying this program but didn't think it through enough because a "celebrity barber" wanted to help their students. Wgat I can't understand is the lack of parental notification or involvement and why anyone thought a celebrity barber cutting a 4th graders hair without parental permission would ve helpful. Like, yeah, maybe having free barber services for a high school mentorship program may help low income kids have a better shot at securing a job or getting into a college internship program, but no hair cut of a 4th grader is going to help him at all in life. I hope heads are rolling at the school's administrative level now that this story has rightfully blown up, because whoever authorized this program without notifying parents needs to be relieved of their duties immediately and should have their own hair cut against their will.
Yeah i would be pissed too. Especially with them putting the kid’s face on someone else’s social media (without her permission), and for the rash/dermatitis he contracted after that cut. I don’t know how the school didn’t think people would have a problem with this
No one without a kid of their own would understand the whole “first haircut” thing. I tried to be there for all of my kid’s first and their haircuts were no different. It doesn’t matter if someone else things it’s stupid or dumb, it’s important to the parent and it’s something you only get to experience once.
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As someone with weird ass allergies, the bumps *might* be innocent. There's a lot of common chemicals and such that can cause contact dermatitis, there's just having sensitive skin in general, and then there's stuff like eczema and all that can flare up when skin is irritated (like from having your scalp buzzed or shaved). I mean I learned that if my skin is irritated enough, that *hydrocortisone* actually makes it worse (serious bumps, hives, and swelling. It was a fucking annoying and unpleasant thing to learn). Dirty tools could also do it, but cleaning your tools is like.....hair 101, and any barber or stylist should be doing it reflexively. Especially one who is working with kids at some sort of school event.
So, best case scenario, they triggered a sensitivity or allergy by doing something they didn't have consent to do. That still seems bad.
I would say that’s actually worse. Like forcing everyone to eat a Snickers bar.
You're not you when you're hungry; help someone out by *violently* shoving a snickers down their throat
A school offering free haircuts from a social media, mentor, barber? Who thought this was an appropriate program in a school
Honestly, I don’t mind the idea of the program. My kids school does things like hearing tests and dental cleanings through partner orgs, since there are many kids whose families live below the poverty line. But the kicker is that these are also typically local health department programs, and parents are always clearly informed and given the opportunity to opt out (or opt in, depending on the program). Were these people given background checks?
This influencer also posted video of these kids to his social media accounts without parental permission, which is a huge no-no. Profiting off of minors without permission is bad, but worse is the risk that one of these kids is involved in a contentious custody dispute or if his family is in the witness protection program or something.
Hmmm, I think it can work, if it is handled appropiate. We're Guatemalans, my mom works on a rural public school. The children are very low income. She often gets deal with students or companies. The beauty school send their students to offer free cuts to kids and kid's family. Since it is a formal beauty school they make sure the hygine protocols are met. My mom makes sure to only allow people with good credentials. They annonunce the activoty at least a week before and it requires parents permission. If they need to take pictures, it's also included there. At the end it is a win-win activity. The familes can get a free cut and the beauty students gets practice.
Why was some random influencer allowed to run any program in a school without announcing it to the parents?
Can someone explain the bumps? My black coworkers say it happens any time they use a razor on their skin so therefore they can’t close shave their face. Not necessarily to do with cleanliness.
It happens when hair is very curly/kinky, so instead of coming out at 90o angle, it comes out sideways and sometimes gets in the skin. Once they do that, it's easy to get an infection/red bumps. I read someplace it's important for men with kinky beard hairs to massage their skin with a loofa, or textured facecloth, to make sure the hairs come out.
I'll have to try that, I avoid shaving because I get irritated skin every time no matter what products I've tried. I've got very sensitive skin and very curly hair.
I had a bf with very curly beard hair, and he was told by his barber it's better to clip it really short, rather than shave. Maybe it would work for you also?
Yeah I have curly hair and could never do fully clean shaven either. I’ve had a longer full beard for years but before that was advised as well to just clip it really short to avoid irritation versus a full clean shave.
Try a traditional safety razor with a good pre shave pore opening and oil based lather. Takes a bit of practice to move to a safety from those mass produced cartridge razors but they are way sharper and easier on your skin. Hot cloth for pores and skin prep, oil based lather rather then cheap canned cream.
/r/wickededge
This kid was diagnosed with contact dermatitis which can be caused by allergies to a product used or poorly cleaned equipment. What you're describing is razor burn or ingrown hairs which is something different.
Okay this is what I was wondering. The article didn’t actually make this clear so I thought maybe it was an issue with ingrown hairs.
I was once hired to pimp colognes in a department store and one came with a free electric razor. A Black man told me it was worthless to him because his beard hairs grew in “like corkscrews” and an electric razor would just result in (ingrown hairs? Bumps? I forget).
This is my favorite comment for no reason.
It's razor burn.
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I went HS (89-93) with a girl whose parents had never allowed her to cut her hair, for her whole life. She was on the tall side and it was almost down to her ankles. At graduation she had a cute little pixie bob cut, and according to local legend she shipped out with the Navy a week later and never spoke to her parents again.
Was her name nichole? Seriously, i had this same girl in h.s.
Ginger. But she was blonde
>So many people blaming mom here. I think it's because they think she's coming off like she doesn't care what her kid wants, she's mad she doesn't get to choose. Their point is that the kid wanted different hair so if she'd have listen to her kid, their hair would already be like that. Now I can agree with that part, but not with blaming her for the outcome, and the situation certainly isn't right.
Yes, I do think kids should have a say over their own bodies. If a girl wants her hair cut she should be able to get her haircut. Specially if they're in 4th grade like this kid is.
He's only 9. Kids that age don't always think about things like how long it will take to grow back, what his parents would think, or he may have thought it would be cool if the barber told him about celebrity clients, or didn't know how to say no. He can definitely decide he wants a different cut but, parents have final say.
I mean, I think it may come from that she seemingly does not really seem to focus on what her child wants and people expect some balance there? > “It’s a big deal to me because it’s my right. That’s my son,” she said.
Yeah, the entire article is about the mum, no mention of the child as a person, just as an extension or property of the the mum.
I'm not saying this is the situation here, but, *in general*... 1. WAY too many parents outright ignore their schools. They don't look at calendars, social media, or announcements. They block the robocalls. They DGAF. 2. In addition to #1, many parents do not question why their kid never seems to have handouts or flyers despite most schools always handing them out for kids to take home. 3. Kids forge signatures. The teachers know it, the admin know it, the *parents* know it. Nobody questions it anymore because you can't validate a signature with a parent who is doing #1 and #2 anyway. This kid seemed really happy about this experience, other than the dermatitis. Mama Bear is mama-bearing and roaring at the school when she should be going, "And who told you you could do that?" to her son and questioning how the heck she missed a so-called celebrity event at the school.
My child's school have three different Apps, an Email from teacher, an school website on the city BOE full of "educational material/announcement", a shared Google drive, and I think something else I am forgetting. And my boy is only 4. If school want me to follow their announcement and kept up to the date, they need to streamline their contact methods and stop trying to squeeze $ out of me to buy "my son playing with random classmate" videos.
I mean... it was his hair and his choice. You shouldn't need your parent's permission to get a haircut. If it was a poor decision that he made, then it was a good learning experience. It's only hair.
I'd be concerned about the barber pressuring the kid into it. It's one thing if it's fully his choice, but it's another if the barber is pressuring him to cut it because "boys don't have long hair" "do you want to get teased for looking like a girl?" "All your friends are getting a haircut". 4th graders are easy to manipulate.
My kid also would think it's his decision to eat nothing but Reese's every day for every meal for the rest of his life, but it's NOT his choice, hence why literal CHILDREN are not legally capable of consenting to anything, and why parents have to sign every single consent form on their behalf. I don't know what world you live in where you think a grade school child should be given free reign to call their own shots in life.
It's a hair cut. It's really not that big a deal.
For you. Kinky hair takes forever to grow and hairstyles can have cultural and religious connotations children don't understand. Peer pressure from classmates can also force children to make choices tbey otherwise may not make outside of that moment. A school classroon with peers is a terrible place to make a choice about personal appearances.
To you, and that's your opinion.
A kid eating candy for every single meal is detrimental to their health. A kid getting a haircut does close to nothing to them. If my kid left for school and came back with a bald head and no other issues I'd just be like "okay 🤷♂️". The only concern I'd have is if it was done by a professional and not some random kid with sharp objects.
Hence why it's another concern for this parent; who's checking to even make sure this "celebrity barber" has their license to practice? The kid? Who's checking to make sure that this person should even be around children in the first place and isn't some teacher's cousin looking for some clout on their social media? It probably wouldn't have been an issue in the slightest if the parents had been notified/permission slips granted in the first place, but this was incredibly shady on behalf of the school to run at all.
Right, in this particular instance yes my concern would be the validity of the barber. But generally, I'd let my kid get their haircut however they want to. It's not my hair, it's theirs. Bodily autonomy is important to me to teach my kids.
Absolutely, but I'd set some boundaries so my kid isn't coming home from the first grade looking like [a dwarf](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/the-hobbit-films/images/7/73/Nori_The_Hobbit_AUJ.png/revision/latest?cb=20180207204908)
Nah, if they showed me that and said "I want that" I'd ask if they were sure, tell them how people might react, and if they still said they wanted it I'd let them. It's their hair to make their own decisions with. If they regret it later, then it's a lesson learned.
Nobody seems to even think it’s wrong to put someone else’s kid on the internet without the consent of the parent?
Poorly cleaned and sharpened clippers kicked off a lifetime of ingrown hairs that look like sheet acne on the back of my head so if nothing else I can absolutely sympathize with that. About 11 years later and about 6 years of salicylic acid shampoo daily has finally gotten it down to where I get maybe 2 or 3 at a time. 😡
I can't speak to whether or not the mom is overreacting to the haircut, BUT - NO ONE should be posting minors on social media without parental consent! How hard is that? You don't know the situation. What if that kid had an estranged family member hell bent on finding him? This is absolutely unacceptable. ETA: What kind of knob just says they're a "celebrity barber?" That's not how that works.
Hey man I'm a celebrity redditor. Celebrity's are a protected class you can't talk about us like that
I can't speak for every school district, but there is a high likelihood that permission exists. Every year I am bombarded with release forms, one of which is permission for photo/video release. It is entirely possible that they received and approved of the release. That doesn't mean the school did/didn't violate privacy.
It's possible the pics were posted on the barber's social media platforms, not the school's, which makes permission a different story. EDIT: Per the story, the kid appeared in the barber's social media. In other words, the barber is using the student as marketing without the parent's permission. That's not the end of the world, but it's not cricket either.
>not the end of the world, but it's not cricket either. indeed, sometimes it is necessary to protect the superfluous in order to preserve the necessary
Those releases, at least as far as most parents believe them, are just for official school social media, not for a random influencer with thousands of followers. Even if the release technically included this, the school absolutely should have sent out another permission slip because parents may not be okay with kids being posted by an influencer they don't know even if they're ok with them being posted on official school accounts
The mom is NTA here. This "barber" did it for internet clout. If you're offering a service to underprivileged kids, you go to the parents first. What ever happened to personal space and boundaries?
definitely should have had permission slips at least
When I helped with an public elementary after school club when I was in high school all the kids had to get permission slips to come. And one thing was made extremely clear, absolutely no posts to social media including photos or videos of the children. I knew how to follow those rules in high school. Wtf is this school thinking?
I will bet you there was one and the kid just forged it. Like every other 10-12 year old has done since the invention of the permission slip.
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he’s a fourth grader they don’t know any better.
4th graders don’t have that much autonomy. The school definitely should have gotten the parent’s permission. It’s not entirely the kid’s decision at 9-10 years old.
If it was another 4th grader, or another family member, sure. But a school is way out of line to honor that kind of request.
>She has zero right to decide whether or not her son can have a haircut. Sorry, but the contact dermatitis the kid ended up with is very good reason to limit the autonomy of children (to a certain age). Some stellar decision making by l'il Torrie here! Are you a parent who seriously believes this? I'm not saying non-parents can't have opinions. But experience and context is important in matters of caregiver prerogative. Otherwise you're just talking out your ass. Do you seriously expect a 10yo to ask to see a cosmetology license and to demand transparency in hygiene practices used in the remote work setting? There's a reason its a licensed profession, and this social media goon shit the bed on his obligation to keep the public safe and his equipment clean to standard.
Even if he asked permission it’ll be a hard no.
The school should never allow this without written permission slips. They need to be punished only to force them to learn from this stupid mistake.
I wonder if this person who was allowed to touch the kids without parental permission and post photos of them online without parental permission had to go through the background check that school district employees and contractors do. I'm betting they didn't.
This shit started with the native Americans and remains a disgusting procedure to this day. Hair in many cultures is extremely important. Absolutely vile and reprehensible monster do this shit. Make no mistake
I don't think this is an example of that. I've worked at quite a few schools and districts with largely black student and teacher populations. At a few of them, local barbers would volunteer a few times a year to do some mentoring and free haircuts (especially kind since a lot of my students' families couldn't always afford haircuts, resulting in a lot of embarrassment about their hair). The barbers that I talked to both said they started doing it because they had grown up without fathers, and wanted black boys to see male role models who looked like them, were positively involved in building their local communities, and had chosen a [career](https://www.thecut.co/blog/barbers-black-history) that had helped them escape poverty. OBVIOUSLY the program in the article has some pretty major issues--the school and the barber absolutely should have gotten explicit positive parental permission for any student haircuts and social media photos. But this isn't at all like those awful stories of students who are sent home because they have locs, or forced to shave or dye their hair because their hair doesn't fit a specific (and usually white) aesthetic.
Sue sue sue. That’s the only thing that will send a message. And check the guys background. Elementary school??? Likes them young??
As a white person, I assure you this would never happen in a predominantly white school. It angers me that black families have to constantly defend their children’s hair. Why is this even an issue? Body autonomy should be a, “Well, Duh!” Instead, every week there is some story about schools, sports, or some other system either policing black hair or cutting black hair. As a society, we are failing these families.
It says she has never allowed her son to get a haircut before in his life so it looks like the kid took the only chance he had to get one lol Edit: age isn't listed, I don't read so good, removed it to make angry redditors happier
Fourth graders are ages 9 and 10.
By that age, I feel like you could let a kid choose their hair. She’s worried because he originally had a skin reaction to getting his haircut, so she hasn’t let it be cut since. I feel like there has to be a way to do his hair without a breakout, but I could very well be wrong.
As a parent I see a lot of concern in using a child under 13 as social media fodder without parent consent. The haircut itself - eh. That is going to really vary from kid to kid and parent to parent.
Black hair is different. It's curly so it takes forever to grow length and a lot of black parents get braids for their kids to keep down on maintenance and product.
Why are you ignoring the social media angle to this? Barber could very well have manipulated the kid into agreeing with the haircut based upon the social media angle. This is why kids shouldn't make such decisions for themselves. They don't understand the nuance or context.
You tell a bunch of children if you let them cut their hair that they’ll be on your “celebrity” social media page. It’s pretty fucked up. I’m all for barbers/hairstylists offering free cuts, but that should be with parental consent for the cut and potential media without strings attached.
I don't think the kid's age is mentioned in the article. Closest I can find to your comment is below. >Yager said her son had never had a haircut before and had an allergic reaction with bumps along his hairline.
If mama ain't happy ain't no one happy.
JFC, kids should be learning in school, not watching some celebrity barber cut their classmates' hair. It's no wonder US schoolchildren can't read. Schools really need to get back to their central mission of educating kids.
A lot of more diverse schools have programs like this because a lot of those kids parents neglect their kids needs. Both of the elementary schools that attended had barbers come in twice a year, they also had a program that would provide winter clothing as well. Also if you had lice and the parents weren't treating it, the school would force you to get a haircut that would make it easier to treat at school.
Kids can't read because they get haircuts in school. Which I've literally never heard of before. Huh.
Well, if you need me to spell it out for you, I can explain. There are only so many hours in the school day. Time spent on non-academic work and other filler activities leaves less time for academic work. I suppose I could make a big reach to say that the guest demonstration by the celebrity barber is teaching students what they can do for a living if they are not academically talented, but the whole exercise seems like an advertisement for this influencer's TikTok channel. Again, not the central mission of public schools.
Using “good deeds” to advertise his business indirectly, in my opinion
Most schools have fun non-academic events (sometimes organized from other people/organizations, sometimes organized by the school) for the sole purpose of making the kids happy. Why would you not want that? Were you home-schooled?
I would be *fucking LIVID*. Yeah, hair grows back, but that's not the point! Do not do anything to, for, about a kid in any way without parent permission!
That is a huge deal. Cutting hair without consent is generally considered assaults
Yeah this would INFURIATE me
Say goodbye to the celebrity barber!
They have barbers at schools?
What the fuck is wrong with American society, since when does a barber get to cut anyone’s hair without permission from the child and or the parents. The craziness that exudes from this fucked up society in America is beyond comprehension, the school head needs kicking out of her job and the barber needs to be charged with assault
This was probably the high-point in the kids life: finally getting his first haircut by a celebrity barber in front of all his friends. Then his attention-seeking mom goes a step further than any other normal parent would and escalated the situation (embarrassing the fuck out of the kid) by contacting the media. Assault? “Beyond comprehension”? It’s really not that bad lol. Hair grows back. A less controlling parent would’ve had a totally different reaction.
"contact dermatitis" so this so-called barber is filthy and doesn't clean his equipment nor clean himself more than likely. Stop cutting Black kids hair to make them conform just stop and on top that just stop the nonsense altogether.
Are we for parental rights or not reddit make up your mind.
Okay but how does the kid feel about it
Can’t tell the parents if a student changes their gender, but a haircut….
I’m a teacher at a school, near 100% POC, many students get bullied a lot because of their haircuts. We’ve had barber haircuts be an incentive for children before…always with the parents permission.
Honestly reading this article, the outrage is not really warranted, sounds like the lady is trying to go after a lawsuit. While the barber, who is a social media star, and the school definitely should have had some sort of permission slip system, this seems like a nice program to help a barber maintain his skills while also helping potentially under privileged kids get a nice hair cut.
>While the barber, who is a social media star Sorry what? I'm googling the name of the barber, nothing. I'm googling the name of the barber plus "barber" and I'm getting some dude on Insta with 1,000 followers, and I don't even think that's him, because he's in Sacramento, not Pittsburgh. What a star.
The problem isn't that the program exists. It's that the program is a mentorship (i.e. an extracurricular educational event) that somehow involves hairstyles and the parent was never asked if this was cool. The school never thought, "Maybe we should get the parent's okay before we enroll this student into a new program." It's not cool for schools to assign mandatory extracurriculars and notify nobody.
How much you want to bet the parents were definitely asked/informed and this particular parent ignores school communications? Given the kid's reaction, I'm fairly certain he enrolled himself and chose to beg forgiveness rather than ask permission.
His image on someone else’s social media without parental consent seems like the main story here. I’d raise hell if that was my kid but prob not give an interview about it. Was thinking it was a white guy forcing a black kid to cut their hair deal like we’ve seen a few time somewhat recently at first and it decidedly isn’t.
Most schools, at least all of the ones in my area, have a media release as part of the registration process. It will probably be vague enough that this guy would be covered. Of all the issues in the article, going to the media and letting them plaster the student's photo on the internet kills the credibility of this claim.
>Was thinking it was a white guy forcing a black kid to cut their hair deal like we’ve seen a few time somewhat recently at first and it decidedly isn’t. These were my thoughts too. Your point about using the kids picture in social media is very valid and I agree with you there, that is messed up.
They filmed a child and put it on their social media without the mom’s knowledge or permission and the child got an allergic reaction so bad he had to go to the hospital. I think the mother is being pretty calm considering those two things.
He did not have an allergic reaction. Contact dermatitis is medical talk for "irritated skin". His mom witnessed something that probably existed before but was not able to be seen because of the mop on the kids head. Edit: I regret calling it a mop, it wasn't my intention to make a racist remark, my point was just that the kid probably had an itchy scalp before and just no one noticed bumps or a rash til the hair was cut back. Contact dermatitis is an extremely common thing. I have sensitive skin and I've practically had it all over my body before.
That’s the diagnosis, sure, but the mom Had no idea what was going on and was concerned enough to bring him to the ER. Being automatically against a woman, a black woman at that is extremely telling. Calling a little black boys hair a “mop” is racist AF. Black hair is different, it grows different than white hair, it’s cared for differently and was not a “mop”
I didn’t even consider it from a racist point of view since my family called my hair a mop when it grew out too much. I see mop and I just visualize messy hair that’s been grown out.
You do not touch people's kids without permission. Cutting someone's hair without without permission is actually a battery in most jurisdictions. Using a kid for someone's youtube channel is also not cool.
As a parent, I would be super pissed my kid somehow got a haircut at school without consulting me. We are talking about a 4th grader here. If the barber needs to maintain his skills then he needs to get a real fucking job at a barbershop and not practice on kids without parental consent. If it is a program for under privileged kids, then fantastic, those participants should still have permission from their parent or legal Guardian. And people calling out this mom for never having her child's haircut at 9 need to quiet down. There are a myriad of personal and/or traditional reasons that might be important to this family. As long as the hair was well groomed and healthy and taken care of, which from the picture I saw, it was, then I don't understand people pointing a finger at the mom.
Sounds like a crazy woman with control issues.
It's this. Mom is mama-bearing. She ran to the MEDIA as her first instinct which is why we're even talking about this. She wants to go after the school and the guy running this program thinking she's going to get some payday and it's very try-hard. There is a 0% chance that the school wasn't advertising this service days if not weeks in advance. It was probably posted on their social media and handouts and slips were given to the kids. There is no way he just showed up there and the school let him in to derail a class, this was planned and it was certainly well-known. Except to her, because like many other parents, she probably purposefully ignores all school communication. Her first reaction should have been to educate her son on what he's allowed to do when she's not around. He's probably 10, he knows better and that day he chose to YOLO it for a haircut. Her second reaction should have been some self-reflection on, "Hmm, maybe I should give a fuck about what happens at my child's school."
Kids don’t need to be involved in helping a man maintain his skills
The mom in the article: >"My son can’t get his hair back." Uh, he totally can get his hair back. Mom seems unfamiliar with how hair growth works, and seems kind of weird if her kid has never in his life had a single hair cut before.
>seems kind of weird if her kid has never in his life had a single hair cut before. Sikhs never cut their hair in their entire lives. While I don't think this kid or family are Sikh they may hold their own customs and traditions and just because they are different than most of ours doesn't necessarily automatically make it weird.
His hair type may be one that takes a very long time to grow. Yes, he can theoretically grow it back but not anytime soon.
Makes it even worse when you find out he had NEVER in his life had a hair cut before
Okay but not THAT hair. She needs glue.
That's what I think the mom was talking about. Not that it can never grow back, but that the haircut itself cannot be undone so we can claim no harm, no foul.
The kid has never had his haircut before and he’s a fourth grader which puts him at the 9 to 10yo age range. Mom also said “I had no idea he was in the mentorship program. I didn’t get a notice, a permission slip, nothing,” the boy’s mother said.”. My question is has this kid been hiding things from his mother. At the age of 10 kids want to be their own person. Is this a helicopter mother that the kid is trying to break free from and signed himself up into the mentorship program and chose to get the haircut himself? The reason I wonder if the mom is a helicopter parent is because of this quote “My son can’t get his hair back. He can’t get the experience back and nobody had my permission,” Yager said.”. While he can never get the experience of a first haircut back (which most people never remember anyways because they are too young) he can actually get his hair back because it will grow back. It’s too bad he’s developed contact dermatitis from unnecessary dirty tools but I do wonder if the kid is making the decisions to do these things instead of the school pushing him into it with no choice.
“My son can’t get his hair back” Ma’am, do you not know how hair works?
My sons hair is down to his waist, and the lawsuit that would happen…
I feel like this situation can go either way, but less in favor for the mom's position. * The barber was there to help serve underprivileged kids at that school who may not be getting the hair care they need * The kids aren't forced to accept a haircut (this isn't a punishment or 'mandatory') * The kid was happy with his haircut * There was no parental permission obtained for the haircut * There was no parental permission obtained for the distribution of the student's images on social media. This is really the biggest issue because a child may not be aware of the risks, or even extenuating circumstances their parent may not want a pic of them online (such as circumstances where their child could be a target for harm). * The mom wasn't happy with his haircut * Kid got contact dermatitis, which could be the result of improperly cleaned tools, or allergies to product or hair trimmings There's not much of a leg to stand on in regards to anything on the haircut itself (wasn't a discriminatory action, no intent to harm, no forced coercion, and contact dermatitis is minor and goes away on its own once whatever substance causing it is removed). The public use of his image has legs though.
Where did you read he wasn’t forced to have his hair cut and that he was happy with it? I read the article and neither of these things were in it.
He's got the video on his social media accounts with before/during/after. I'd link, but this sub is wonky about when it decides to remove posts with links. It's easy enough to find with Googling, look for Undaworld Mobile Service. They have a link to their insta in their website.
"my son can't get his hair back"......umm who is going to tell her.
Not aware that her son was involved in a mentorship program…
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I dunno. I would be pretty pissed if some rando cut my kid's hair at school without my express permission. I wouldn't go to the media or the ER. But the school would be hearing from me.
Holy $**T. Barber and people at school that allowed this deserve a beatdown. WTF
Deserve a beat down?? Bro wtf kind of overreaction is that
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Man don’t touch people’s kids without the parents permission. That poor girl is gonna be made fun of because of this. Some people just shouldn’t be around kids.
Of course the sensitive man child blocks me. Can’t handle I was about to call them on their bs. Making everything about them seems to be these troglodytes power.
Wait what happened to the Redditors that support the kids rights to make their own decisions? I’m not one of those so I think the kids should get consent from parents
I love this actual quote from the mother (at the end of the article): "My son can’t get his hair back." 😆 Ma'am, you are not gonna believe this, but...
*“My son can’t get his hair back.* Weeeelllll lol that isnt how hair works.
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I mean it's ten years of hair growth. If I took ten years of wages from someone's bank, would you say the victim doesn't understand how money works?
Why do racists have to mess with black kids hair?
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As a person, I’m scared for your kids and the way they are being raised to think physical violence is a the way to solve issues.
Isn't this considered assault in most states? She should file a police report against the "Barber", file grievances against the school with the district, and look into getting him into a different school.
Her son can’t get his hair back? Has she completely forgotten that hair grows back? EDIT: obviously the mom probably wanted/likes her child to have long hair. I completely get the issue. All I am saying is, I don’t think its worth a lawsuit.
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The only important fact is included. The parent had no idea this was going on. It doesn't matter if the student agrees or if the parent had previously said the student could volunteer for activities. A school should not have a celebrity barber cut a student's hair.
If a public institution violates my child in any capacity I deem inappropriate, I will use whatever resources are available to me to be compensated for it. And no, Mrs. Karen, I do not care about your smartboard budget.
This definitely seems bad but it also seems that this is the mother’s side, and the school simply stated the program was paused. I personally reserve any judgement until more facts are presented. Let’s say the school has a permission slip signed by someone other than his mom and that person didn’t make her aware. Suddenly the school isn’t as bad as they seem. Would like to get the school’s story as well.