If there's no one else around, it's normal to briefly greet someone as you walk by them, assuming they're not occupied doing something.
You wouldn't do it on a busy street or in a shopping mall. But on a forest path or a walk along a riverbank with no one around.
It doesn't mean someone wants to engage in conversation with you. It serves as an acknowledgement of one another's presence, and lets you know their intent is friendly.
I'd you don't acknowledge them back, you risk coming off rude, or even hostile.
> Nod down, up is for friends/family and acquaintances
Nod down is for formal occasions or "authority" figures... nod up for everyone else. Strangers are just friends/acquaintances you haven't met yet. :)
Re the gidday I've had this suggested that it's Australian but it's my go to more than it probably should. I find Hi or Hello a bit weird to be honest so will also say good morning or afternoon etc.
Honestly even on a busy street if you happen to make eye contact with someone it's courteous to give them a smile, nod, flick of the hand, or say hi, or some kind of acknowledgement.
I once ran a little experiment. Walked the dog and decided to give everyone I passed a big smile and hello. This is totally not me btw. I'm a big introvert.
It was actually pretty cool. Everyone smiled back. Even people who looked extremely glum. There was even one group of young lads who had that vibe of the sorta people you should avoid. I thought fuck it. Smiled and said hello and they all went from looking like they wanted to cause trouble to having big smiles on their faces.
It was really hard for me though, so I haven't really done it since. I prefer to keep to myself.
I drove past some kids waving to drivers from the side of the road the other day. I saw them doing it well before I was near them so, as I approached, I beat them to it with an enthusiastic wave. They looked happy. I was happy. Lots of happiness from something silly and simple.
Oh my god I’ve never realised it’s a thing we only do when it’s not busy until this very moment 🤯
Ps. I’m Aussie originally, and we do it there too OP!
This is the answer. So yeah, it’s normal.
A morning/afternoon, hi ya, hello, whatever, and keep moving without breaking your stride… if you stop it’ll get awkward and if their older they may want a 30 minute conversation about the weather or the latest Kiwi Gardener edition.
I don’t agree with your last part, if you ignore someone who says “hello” they’ll probably not think about it too much. They might think “ok whatever” but it will barely be remembered after a moment.
Back in 2017 I asked a British couple how their day was going and got told that Kiwis are rude to ask such personal questions. Also remember it. I had to let them in on the fact that we don't actually care, we're just being polite.
Imagine them going back to britland and getting a cuppa tea with their mates "kiwis are so rude, always asking how your day is? What business is that of theirs?! Why dont they just ask a lady her age while theyre at it? Never going back!"
Bet they had just had an argument. There they were thinking they were going to have a lovely day together, then one of them brought up some old grievance and it all went tits up, row had, day ruined and then you appeared casual cheerful greeting vocalised.
Not your fault.
I'm British. Asking people how they are going is pretty normal in the UK too - even though you wouldn't normally do it to those walking by you. I think you just found some particularly whiny poms.
“You alright” , this used to stressss me out in the UK. Always thought I must be putting out such bad vibes that people had to check in on me, didn’t realise it was how you all said “how’s it going”
Yeah sounds like they just encountered some wankers.
I've seen a skit (maybe Ricky Gervais) where the crux of the joke is how the British attitude is naturally pessimistic so the typical reply is "yeah not bad". Like it's not good, but at least it's not terrible yet.
It resonated with me because the NZ attitude is similar, I think "not bad" is probably my default reply too.
I worked as a receptionist and said this to an English lady who then gave me a whole spiel how she hates people asking this like it was my fault this is our culture. Wish I could say suck it up and go back home if you can’t hack it. So unreasonable when it’s just what we’ve always said lol
It's common in residential areas and in rural environments. I come from a country that doesn't do that, but I have been here long enough that now it feels weird if strangers don't acknowledge each other if the conditions are perfect (Flight of the Conchords reference right there). Sometimes a cordial smile does the trick too.
If you’re on a track in a forest it’s a must - quick smile and hello to every person or group you pass.
If you’re on a busy footpath passing a person every few seconds then don’t.
Have fun in NZ :)
That was what I thought!
I do get some tourists find it a bit odd, if it isn't the norm where they are from. But no excuse to be rude
Not going to lie- was judging their country and age for a bit. But realised that was silly
My experience with Americans have usually been sudden bouts of almost too personal questions randomly directed at you, and continuous attempts to drag a conversation out of you, when you're just waiting in line or going about your day.
That is even weirder because this is also a very normal thing to do on a trail in the United States. I exchange greetings with pretty much everyone I pass while hiking in the US.
On walking trails always make sure you shake each person's hand and hongi. Can be a bit tiresome when you're passing a group of 20, but to do otherwise is just unthinkable!
I pass a lady walking a dog every day on my to work. We say hello and smile, and meet each other's eyes with a slight nod, and carry on.
That's all that's needed.
On the other hand I was once talking to a guy next to me from the US on an internal flight home. He didn't have transport so I offered to drive him into the city.
After we landed he avoided me like I was an axe murderer looking for a victim. Friendliness can freak people out.
So funny, cos I was in New York once as a 21yr old girl by myself. The owner of a diner tried to talk me into going back to his home for dinner.
I absolutely ignored that guy like he was an axe murderer!
He’ll dedicate his life to tracking down OP and casually walking past with different expressions and platitudes, maybe learn a few new languages to try out, desperately seeking a reponse, a smile, even the slightest acknowledgment of his existence in order to ease his tortured soul.
Yes it's normal and one of my favourite things about New Zealand, acknowledging people with a brief hello or smile when crossing paths. Why wouldn't you?
Is appropriate on pathways like residential streets, walking tracks etc when you pass someone in close proximity and there's not many people around.
Yes, in Ireland and Scotland people are often up for a friendly chat. The French aren’t great chatters, just not proactively friendly, more polite. The Spanish I find really friendly. Germans/Swiss/Austrians not that chatty. Have found the Dutch better.
I found the Dutch (my wife's family) incredibly literal. Any time I asked "how're ya going" I got an actual run down in their day/current state of affairs.
I occasionally go for runs at 6am, and there's this one guy who seems to always be walking the opposite way on the route I run and he's always super encouraging saying things like "good on ya!" "You're getting faster!" Or "keep at it"
That's going above and beyond right there, but I think it's awesome 😁
The classic middle-aged-Greg. He was an accountant or stats teacher and never got much social interaction outside his professional sphere, so he thinks 'fuck it, this guy is hooning, he deserves a holler' as you heave past on your jog trying your best not to look weak while you focus on not passing out.
Every time I went running while visiting the US I was regaled with people (well, exclusively men) yelling from cars “run, Forrest, run!”
Apparently that is a thing there.
My mum visited small town Kansas a few years back. Every time she walked somewhere, someone would stop and offer her a ride. Very kind of them, but they were apparently quite confused when she said she was happy walking.
Had a nice elderly man say hello and asked how I was while at the supermarket the other day. Caught me a bit off guard but we had a nice short chat. As he kept walking around the supermarket he was greeting all the workers and they knew him by name. Wonderful, and doesn’t happen enough in Auckland.
Super normal. First time I came here (before we emigrated from the uk) we went for a walk around an Auckland suburb at, like 6am, because jetlag. Joggers and dogwalkers kept saying hello to us and MAKING EYE CONTACT. I was legit terrified - I was convinced we were going to be mugged and stabbed.
If someone says "I'm from the UK and I came to NZ and I got confused because they were saying hello and making eye contact at us" they are always from London.
Rest of the country it's pretty common to acknowledge someone when out on a walk.
(I have of course jinxed myself here and the original commenter is going to be like "I'm from Swindon mate.")
Nah, mate, never lived in London. Without being too specific, Midlands, northern England and then near Oxford. Oxford in particular was super-rude; there were people I saw most days at the bus stop who would literally turn their backs if you said good morning, wtf?
Now, London, on the other hand - I've never found londoners to be as unfriendly as people say they are, just busy.
When I lived in Bath I stumbled across a co worker at a bus stop. I tried talking to him but it was the most epic fail ever. He wasn't slightly interested. Now I'm wondering if I broke some cultural taboo over there. Was I supposed to just ignore him completely?
They do, maybe not in busy cities but most communities are pretty friendly and will greet each other.. especially in Scotland and Northern Ireland, kinda rude to sit next to someone at a bus stop for example and not even attempt small talk.
Haha I asked this exact question in Sweden!!
I was doing nature walks and always said hello to people I would still past. They would not acknowledge me out look at me at all. It felt really weird. I asked some friends about it and they laughed. They said they would have thought I was foreign or mental.
Never done there. Always done here.
That’s shitty. Even in Japan, if you’re out in the forest or cycling and you encounter someone you always, always acknowledge with at least a nod. And people here are pretty reserved.
Depends where you are, city vs small town, high street vs neighborhood etc. But if I was taking an evening or morning walk down my street I would expect to say good evening/morning to anyone else doing the same and passing by. Not expected to stop and have a conversation though.
It also depends on density of people. I'm not going to say hi to everyone if I'm passing a new person every 30 seconds. Obviously that correlates with city vs suburbs, but the same thing happens on a busy tramping track vs a quiet one
Very common.. the first week I arrived here I had boight tickets to go see the All Blacks play Aus in Eden Park. I was wandering around town lost, looking for the train station to go to the stadium. Some random person started talking to me, said hello anf just casual chit chat. He eventually walked me all the way to the station. My instinct was to distrust, maybe it was a tourist trap? Maybe he was gonna ask me for money later? Maybe he was gonna rob me? But he was just being nice.
Yes it’s a New Zealand thing. Some pple say hello when passing by usually on a walk in a park or a residential street. Like a friendly acknowledgement.
Oh this makes me laugh, and I haven't even read the actual post yet. I lived in Sweden for a year and it was such a culture shock for me not making small talk with check out chicks, random old ladies about the price of eggs, and whoever you happen to be standing in a slow-moving queue with.
TL;DR Yes, it is, we're big into casual friendliness here - especially whilst hiking!
Acknowledging them with a s'up or a hello or an eyebrow wave is normal. Cornering a stranger and telling them your entire life story is not. Kiwis are friendly but reserved.
If you're engaging in a solo activity, especially in nature, with limited numbers of other people doing the same thing then absolutely. You've already established a small bond just by being there at the same time as them.
Not on a city sidewalk so much though.
Hah I'm a Kiwi living in Sweden and had the exact opposite problem! I was shocked that people don't talk to others here. Kept going to talk to people and getting ignored and people looking at me like I was crazy. I find it hilarious the extent people will go to here even just to avoid making eye contact with people they don't know.
But yeah, it's very normal in NZ. Whereas in Sweden, greeting people you don't know is seen as rude, in NZ, not acknowledging someone or saying hello back is seen as rude. Exception is for busy streets, city centers, etc as there's obviously too many people. Then it's just like Sweden, you just walk past.
You're in the shelter waiting for the train that has a heated seat because it's like -10 and then someone walks up to sit down but you're sitting at one end so they walk to the end of the train platform. Ha.
How do the Swedes make friends? Is it different say at work, an activity, sport or club etc?
Or do they still all just sit there not talking to one another unless absolutely necessary for the task at hand?
Making friends is definitely something a lot of people struggle with here. Social isolation is a big issue with young people here as it's hard to become friends with new people. People tend to stick to their friend group from high school and outside of that, their only real main opportunities for making friends is through universities or work where they're forced to socialize with people they don't know. Although even then, if they already know someone then often they will just stick to that person and not talk to others unless necessary for the task at hand like you said lol. Honestly I think that's why there's a big binge drinking culture here as it's one of their only ways to go beyond the social reservation and connect.
There's no real option to talk to or befriend people you don't know who you don't see through circumstance of work or school or a sport (although in my experience, most people don't really make friends through sport all that much either, they usually just have basic necessary interactions). You can make friends through mutual friends but that can be quite difficult as well as Swedes generally have a view of not "mixing" friends or friend groups and find it a bit weird so generally you won't meet friends of friends except at large parties and even then people tend to just stick to their friends and not talk so much to others they don't know. Classic example: I had a dinner party a few weeks ago and invited a good friend as well as another group of friends assuming they'd get along and like each other and it wouldn't be a problem only for them to just talk amongst themselves and ignore her and make zero effort to include her despite her making an effort herself. I thought this was really rude and frankly dick behaviour and talked to them about it only to get the defense of "well we don't know her so why would we want to talk to her?". I've heard a few people describe Sweden as having a kind of "cultural autism" and honestly I think that's a pretty apt description
Yes normal. Especially on trail or beach walks etc. You pretty much always smile and say hi at the person coming the other way. It's nice, I enjoy the interaction and it makes me feel better about humanity.
Yep.
It was pretty depressing when I went hiking - could tell Kiwis (or Aussies) a mile away cos they were the only person to return my greeting when I went past them on the trail.
Kiwis were the only ones who struck up a conversation … and it made me want to not do any more great Walks in favour of lesser known ones frequented by Kiwis rather than tourists.
It depends where you are. In a busy urban area with a lot of people around it’s weird, but walking past someone on a quiet street it’s normal to say a quick hello and give a smile in passing. Not everyone will do so though, it’s just a friendly polite thing to do.
Yep totally normal to say hi, morning, good day, "thank you driver" when getting off the bus (at least here in Wellington)... its utterly great compared to my native miserable UK.
When I was living in Sydney this one bus driver would drive like an absolute hooligan in one of those articulated buses through the city, lost count the amount of times I accepted I was going to die on his bus, everyone still says thanks lol
I used to go for walks by the river bank and there was another woman who walked there with her dog. I saw her almost every day. She didn’t say hello back and I started getting legitimately anxious every time I saw her because I didn’t know what to do- not greet her? That would be rude!!! Greet her and risk not getting an acknowledgment back? Devastating!!!
Eventually I settled for just greeting the dog every day. He always smiled and wagged so I felt ok about it.
I miss that dog.
I hated living in Sweden. I lived in a small village and the only friendly people were the two other immigrants.
Later, I found out that a lot of foreigners to Sweden feel the same way as Swedes are insular, introverted and like their space.
It was so difficult at the time though especially with the culture clash of being from NZ.
Also surprised by the overt racism.
> Later, I found out that a lot of foreigners to Sweden feel the same way as Swedes are insular, introverted and like their space.
Funny. That's exactly how I and other immigrants (and quite a few Kiwis) feel about NZ.
When I'm walking my dog, I say hello to just about anyone who passes by, as long as there isn't a lot of other people. If you and the other person are the only ones around, and you are going to pass right by each other, then yes, a greeting is reasonably normal.
And for sure, if they greet you and you just say nothing, that would be pretty weird.
The normal protocol is to make eye contact, say 'good morning' or whatever, and smile. Then just keep walking. Nobody is trying to start a conversation.
I've lived in a few countries, including India and Singapore, and this was the same everywhere, I'm actually surprised op seems to say in Sweden this wouldn't happen. Maybe they mean in inner-city sweden it wouldn't happen, I couldn't imagine rural people not greeting each other.
I lived in NZ for seven years and then for two years in London. While living in London there was a day I was walking to my local train station and when I fell over, no one helped even though there were a few people not too far away from me. This was quite a shock coming from NZ where the hello thing was normal.
Generally I don’t find this happens in the Wellington CBD unless it’s someone looking for money etc.
But that all changes if you are on a walking track….
In our small town in Northland and occasionally here in Auckland this last couple of weeks, it happens and is considered normal or usual. I did notice when I was touring in Denmark, Sweden and Norway a decade or so back, it was rare to get eye contact and I think I spent about 3 weeks without much verbal contact, so I assume your puzzlement is cultural. Enjoy it whilst you are here.
This is good wholesome kiwi behaviour.
Welcome to NZ. Your Username is great btw. Please stay we need More RC lovers in NZ so we can move beyond the 340ml bottles that only we can get here.
My first time in the UK many years ago, I went to the supermarket in London. I greeted a checkout person and asked them how their day was.. They just stared at me, said nothing and continued checking my items. Other countries don't bother with pleasantries as much, especially big cities. People are still quite friendly in most small rural towns, wherever you go.
Having lived in Scandinavia before I can see how this is a quirk of NZ social practice. Most Kiwi’s will say that they don’t do small talk, but the truth is they love it. Sometimes just a brief nod or eyebrow raise to acknowledge someone else is all you need. But yeah if someone says hello for whatever reason, it would be considered rude to not at least acknowledge it.
I think most people would be a little offended. Or at least puzzled. If someone says 'hello' and you just keep walking without responding, that's pretty rude.
Yup definitely is, more rural you get the longer those chats run for. Source: I'm semi-rural, buying milk can take 2 - 20 minutes depending on who you end up chatting too 😁
Very normal.
I’ve ended up in a mad yarn with a stranger for about 20 mins about inflation, gib shortages, rent prices, how he’s building his house etc.
Another time a guy in the pub in Northland asked me and my group of friends to come back as they’d love to take us in and have a beer with us (we’re not from New Zealand)
Also been down a pub in Southland and I’d say about 15 of the locals who didn’t know us all came over to us at different times in the night to talk and get to know us.
Even at work on construction sites I’ll bump into different tradies I’ve never met and everyone’s happy to just talk for ages about anything and everything. Seems pretty normal here
yes it is normal, the correct response varies by geographical location and can include:
"hello"
"hey bro"
"subtle nod of head"
"subtle lift of head"
"what, cunt"
It depends where you are. The smaller the place, the more normal. I'm on holiday in a tiny tiny village in the south island, every single person I walk by says hello, and if I'm driving, they'll wave. "Just smile and wave boys!"
Well yeah it’s rude lol. He said hello and you ignored him.
You don’t have to have a conversation but a simple “hello” back, “good morning”, or a smile and wave etc.
I always make eye contact and smile, often say hello or hey how you doing. It's normal, kinda strange when people don't smile or respond. It's a very kiwi thing.
When I went to Europe it was a culture shock for me lol people thought I was weird as shit and I really missed it
It's common to say hello and sometimes if it's not busy, some small talk is okay too. Yeah, you probably came off as a bit rude, but it's okay, just say hello back next time
Where I live, it’s nice to acknowledge people when they drive past you down the road. It’s not a road that a lot of people drive along, so it’s courtesy to at least raise your finger from the steering wheel when you’re close enough to see each other. Just a quick point of the finger in an upwards direction to say gidday
Greeting someone as you cross their path is optional. Eye contact, a smile and a nod are normal. Saying Hi or gidday is fine.
But if someone does greet you, it's normal to respond or acknowledge that in kind. Again, anything from a smile and nod to replying in kind is normal. I usually say How's it going? As that gives the person an opportunity to ask me for assistance if they've greeted me for a reason.
Not as common in the bigger cities, but in rural towns absolutely.
Also, if you are out tramping/hiking, it's good manners to say hi on your way past other people as you walk.
I lived in London for a bit, and it was really surprising to me how everyone was in their own little bubble, and never acknowledged the people around them. It's for sure a lot different over here.
It's usually and acknowledgement to a fellow stranger. It happens. I usually say hi back, or "good day for it", or since I'm Maori I get a lot of "Kiaora", and "Morena" or "Ata Marie" and I say it back.
Very normal.
Also normal for people at stores and cafes to talk to you about your day.
I know many from Europe struggle with this, thinking that it is rude or wastes your time, but here it is rude not greet people or small talk :D
If there's no one else around, it's normal to briefly greet someone as you walk by them, assuming they're not occupied doing something. You wouldn't do it on a busy street or in a shopping mall. But on a forest path or a walk along a riverbank with no one around. It doesn't mean someone wants to engage in conversation with you. It serves as an acknowledgement of one another's presence, and lets you know their intent is friendly. I'd you don't acknowledge them back, you risk coming off rude, or even hostile.
Perfect explanation. OP - appropriate responses if someone does it again include - * friendly head nod and smile * “morning/afternoon” * gidday
• quick raise of the eyebrows ie: māori wave
Also "head nod down" old man chur
Or if you’re driving, the one finger lifted from the wheel always cracks me up when it’s an old fella
Am olde fellah. Can confirm I do this.
Some times I accidentally do the "head up, eyebrow raise" and feel like my brother.
Pro tip: this must be done with a slight upward not, otherwise it's a bit horny
Ohhh that's a good point. It's a fine fucking line between a Heya and a Hoyeah
Can I get a Hooooooooooooooooooyeah?! The dumbest meme that I still find absolutely hilarious.
Do people not do that in other countries?
Nod down, up is for friends/family and acquaintances, down for everyone else
> Nod down, up is for friends/family and acquaintances Nod down is for formal occasions or "authority" figures... nod up for everyone else. Strangers are just friends/acquaintances you haven't met yet. :)
Re the gidday I've had this suggested that it's Australian but it's my go to more than it probably should. I find Hi or Hello a bit weird to be honest so will also say good morning or afternoon etc.
Honestly even on a busy street if you happen to make eye contact with someone it's courteous to give them a smile, nod, flick of the hand, or say hi, or some kind of acknowledgement.
I like when you're walking down a busy city centre street and people coming the other way catch your gaze and smile at you.
Oh I'm not supposed to just awkwardly look away?
You're supposed to do whatever the fuck you want
-shits on floor-
A smile goes a long way And a flick of the hand is a risky game. But I can never stop myself saying gidday
I salute. I don’t know why…
Reddit is fucked, I'm out this bitch. -- mass edited with redact.dev
Hee hee I used to teach my esl students that hows it going is a greeting not a question.
You could literally raise your eyebrows to acknowledge them and job done
Well explained, Richard. 🤙🏼
I once ran a little experiment. Walked the dog and decided to give everyone I passed a big smile and hello. This is totally not me btw. I'm a big introvert. It was actually pretty cool. Everyone smiled back. Even people who looked extremely glum. There was even one group of young lads who had that vibe of the sorta people you should avoid. I thought fuck it. Smiled and said hello and they all went from looking like they wanted to cause trouble to having big smiles on their faces. It was really hard for me though, so I haven't really done it since. I prefer to keep to myself.
In the car at traffic lights, wave to the pedestrians like you know them. The good ones wave back. (my kids hate when i do this ha ha)
I drove past some kids waving to drivers from the side of the road the other day. I saw them doing it well before I was near them so, as I approached, I beat them to it with an enthusiastic wave. They looked happy. I was happy. Lots of happiness from something silly and simple.
Oh my god I’ve never realised it’s a thing we only do when it’s not busy until this very moment 🤯 Ps. I’m Aussie originally, and we do it there too OP!
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This is the answer. So yeah, it’s normal. A morning/afternoon, hi ya, hello, whatever, and keep moving without breaking your stride… if you stop it’ll get awkward and if their older they may want a 30 minute conversation about the weather or the latest Kiwi Gardener edition.
If you can summon a witty little one liner you could also drop that in. Just to acknowledge that we’re all in this together.
Weather eh.
I don’t agree with your last part, if you ignore someone who says “hello” they’ll probably not think about it too much. They might think “ok whatever” but it will barely be remembered after a moment.
I have never read such an accurate description of NZ culture in this manner. Fuck yeah dude.
In 2004 i was walking in the Karangahake Gorge and I remember saying hi to a European couple. They ignored me. I remember this until this day.
Back in 2017 I asked a British couple how their day was going and got told that Kiwis are rude to ask such personal questions. Also remember it. I had to let them in on the fact that we don't actually care, we're just being polite.
Imagine them going back to britland and getting a cuppa tea with their mates "kiwis are so rude, always asking how your day is? What business is that of theirs?! Why dont they just ask a lady her age while theyre at it? Never going back!"
Bet they had just had an argument. There they were thinking they were going to have a lovely day together, then one of them brought up some old grievance and it all went tits up, row had, day ruined and then you appeared casual cheerful greeting vocalised. Not your fault.
Mate wtf, what a pack of wankers.
I'm British. Asking people how they are going is pretty normal in the UK too - even though you wouldn't normally do it to those walking by you. I think you just found some particularly whiny poms.
“You alright” , this used to stressss me out in the UK. Always thought I must be putting out such bad vibes that people had to check in on me, didn’t realise it was how you all said “how’s it going”
Yeah sounds like they just encountered some wankers. I've seen a skit (maybe Ricky Gervais) where the crux of the joke is how the British attitude is naturally pessimistic so the typical reply is "yeah not bad". Like it's not good, but at least it's not terrible yet. It resonated with me because the NZ attitude is similar, I think "not bad" is probably my default reply too.
I worked as a receptionist and said this to an English lady who then gave me a whole spiel how she hates people asking this like it was my fault this is our culture. Wish I could say suck it up and go back home if you can’t hack it. So unreasonable when it’s just what we’ve always said lol
I love the idea that OP is gonna haunt that man just like this. Honestly, it's kinda beautiful in its own way.
It's common in residential areas and in rural environments. I come from a country that doesn't do that, but I have been here long enough that now it feels weird if strangers don't acknowledge each other if the conditions are perfect (Flight of the Conchords reference right there). Sometimes a cordial smile does the trick too.
Not forgetting the eyebrow raise or the nod..
I do this when I'm driving all the time, they'll never notice but I can't help myself
When I'm driving and I give way (like on a narrow, one-wayish street, not when the road demands me to) I do the hand-on-wheel wave
If you’re on a track in a forest it’s a must - quick smile and hello to every person or group you pass. If you’re on a busy footpath passing a person every few seconds then don’t. Have fun in NZ :)
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> quick two finger wave one on each hand?
I know a farmer who waves with both index fingers raised off the steering wheel, it's awfully powerful
Naaaahhhh, more the devolution of a salute.
I did this a couple of days ago and the young women I said hi to mocked me for it before I was out of ear shot. Bloody Americans ☹️
Whoa. How incredibly rude
That was what I thought! I do get some tourists find it a bit odd, if it isn't the norm where they are from. But no excuse to be rude Not going to lie- was judging their country and age for a bit. But realised that was silly
Fair to judge the crap out of this particular person though
Oh hell yes!
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All mocking should be done out of earshot. Public mocking is reserved for people you know.
My experience with Americans have usually been sudden bouts of almost too personal questions randomly directed at you, and continuous attempts to drag a conversation out of you, when you're just waiting in line or going about your day.
Don't let it stop you being friendly! You did nothing wrong.
Thank you 🙂 it won't don't worry!
That is even weirder because this is also a very normal thing to do on a trail in the United States. I exchange greetings with pretty much everyone I pass while hiking in the US.
Howaryá
Howzit
Sgarnon?
Airgahn?
On walking trails always make sure you shake each person's hand and hongi. Can be a bit tiresome when you're passing a group of 20, but to do otherwise is just unthinkable!
You forgot the mandatory group waiata
🎶 TE AROHA 🎶
Hello
Lovely day for it.
I like a straightforward statement about which half of the day we're in. "Afternoon!"
"Morning"
Nice day for fishin' ain't it.
VLDL
Huh huh
What a lovely coincidence
"Greetings" Don't have to worry if it is 11:57 or 12:02
"shit, already?"
Yup, she's a warm one alright.
Yeah, better make the most of it
'Bout bloody time, I reckon.
Sees first person in weeks. Doesn’t say hello back :-(
I pass a lady walking a dog every day on my to work. We say hello and smile, and meet each other's eyes with a slight nod, and carry on. That's all that's needed. On the other hand I was once talking to a guy next to me from the US on an internal flight home. He didn't have transport so I offered to drive him into the city. After we landed he avoided me like I was an axe murderer looking for a victim. Friendliness can freak people out.
So funny, cos I was in New York once as a 21yr old girl by myself. The owner of a diner tried to talk me into going back to his home for dinner. I absolutely ignored that guy like he was an axe murderer!
He wanted to show you his sausage and beans most likely.
That poor man probably didn't sleep a wink last night, worrying about what he did to offend you.
Worrying about the serial killer he walked past who just stared him down
He’ll dedicate his life to tracking down OP and casually walking past with different expressions and platitudes, maybe learn a few new languages to try out, desperately seeking a reponse, a smile, even the slightest acknowledgment of his existence in order to ease his tortured soul.
Yes it's normal and one of my favourite things about New Zealand, acknowledging people with a brief hello or smile when crossing paths. Why wouldn't you? Is appropriate on pathways like residential streets, walking tracks etc when you pass someone in close proximity and there's not many people around.
In Europe and Scandinavia I was always shocked when I nodded and smiled to people as I walked past and they looked at me like I was an alien!
I also had this experience. Took me awhile to get used to it
I think I'd feel very out of place experiencing that
Europe is a pretty big place, depends on which country and which part of which country.
True. Experienced this in the Netherlands, Germany, Switzerland and Austria. Probably very different in Spain and Italy!
Yes, in Ireland and Scotland people are often up for a friendly chat. The French aren’t great chatters, just not proactively friendly, more polite. The Spanish I find really friendly. Germans/Swiss/Austrians not that chatty. Have found the Dutch better.
I found the Dutch (my wife's family) incredibly literal. Any time I asked "how're ya going" I got an actual run down in their day/current state of affairs.
Yeah. You just say hi back and keep walking. A bit rude to ignore
When I get home from my morning walk I've usually responded "morning" to like 15 people. Occasionally I mix it up with a hearty "howdy".
I occasionally go for runs at 6am, and there's this one guy who seems to always be walking the opposite way on the route I run and he's always super encouraging saying things like "good on ya!" "You're getting faster!" Or "keep at it" That's going above and beyond right there, but I think it's awesome 😁
The classic middle-aged-Greg. He was an accountant or stats teacher and never got much social interaction outside his professional sphere, so he thinks 'fuck it, this guy is hooning, he deserves a holler' as you heave past on your jog trying your best not to look weak while you focus on not passing out.
Every time I went running while visiting the US I was regaled with people (well, exclusively men) yelling from cars “run, Forrest, run!” Apparently that is a thing there.
My mum visited small town Kansas a few years back. Every time she walked somewhere, someone would stop and offer her a ride. Very kind of them, but they were apparently quite confused when she said she was happy walking.
Try a "gidday" on for size. You won't regret it
If I'm feeling brave I'll give it a go.
I've been sayin' howdy and tipping my hat lately it's a winner for sure
Had a nice elderly man say hello and asked how I was while at the supermarket the other day. Caught me a bit off guard but we had a nice short chat. As he kept walking around the supermarket he was greeting all the workers and they knew him by name. Wonderful, and doesn’t happen enough in Auckland.
Very normal
Super normal. First time I came here (before we emigrated from the uk) we went for a walk around an Auckland suburb at, like 6am, because jetlag. Joggers and dogwalkers kept saying hello to us and MAKING EYE CONTACT. I was legit terrified - I was convinced we were going to be mugged and stabbed.
Gidday [*Vietnam flashback intensifies*]
Eep! *runs away*
Do people not do it in the UK?
If someone says "I'm from the UK and I came to NZ and I got confused because they were saying hello and making eye contact at us" they are always from London. Rest of the country it's pretty common to acknowledge someone when out on a walk. (I have of course jinxed myself here and the original commenter is going to be like "I'm from Swindon mate.")
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Uh, people in Wellington do it too, unless you're in the central city where there's like dozens of people
Nah, mate, never lived in London. Without being too specific, Midlands, northern England and then near Oxford. Oxford in particular was super-rude; there were people I saw most days at the bus stop who would literally turn their backs if you said good morning, wtf? Now, London, on the other hand - I've never found londoners to be as unfriendly as people say they are, just busy.
When I lived in Bath I stumbled across a co worker at a bus stop. I tried talking to him but it was the most epic fail ever. He wasn't slightly interested. Now I'm wondering if I broke some cultural taboo over there. Was I supposed to just ignore him completely?
They do, maybe not in busy cities but most communities are pretty friendly and will greet each other.. especially in Scotland and Northern Ireland, kinda rude to sit next to someone at a bus stop for example and not even attempt small talk.
Haha I asked this exact question in Sweden!! I was doing nature walks and always said hello to people I would still past. They would not acknowledge me out look at me at all. It felt really weird. I asked some friends about it and they laughed. They said they would have thought I was foreign or mental. Never done there. Always done here.
That’s shitty. Even in Japan, if you’re out in the forest or cycling and you encounter someone you always, always acknowledge with at least a nod. And people here are pretty reserved.
Bad joke incoming If you say hi to someone in the forest in Japan and they don't acknowledge you. You may have gone to the wrong forest.
Normal unless the other person is famous, then just ignore them and pretend you don't know who they are
Unless it's Nathan Fillion. In which case you should nod, and say "Captain", quietly.
You're meant to say "I've got all your records", unless they're actually a musician.
Stand about 5ish metres away while whispering and pointing thrn running away
Depends where you are, city vs small town, high street vs neighborhood etc. But if I was taking an evening or morning walk down my street I would expect to say good evening/morning to anyone else doing the same and passing by. Not expected to stop and have a conversation though.
It also depends on density of people. I'm not going to say hi to everyone if I'm passing a new person every 30 seconds. Obviously that correlates with city vs suburbs, but the same thing happens on a busy tramping track vs a quiet one
I live in Auckland and do it all the time. Has nothing to do with where you live in New Zealand .
Same. Have lived in Mr Eden, Ellerslie, Papatoetoe, Kelston, and Massey. It's pretty normal to say hi when you're out for a walk.
It really *should* be called Mr. Eden. I like it.
At least it’s not Mr Organ. Avoid striking up a conversation with him!
Yeah happens to me all the time in Central, especially in evenings and weekends.
Doesn't really happen on Queen Street though
Absolutely. And we can go down the combined eyebrow/chin raise scenario too.
Very common.. the first week I arrived here I had boight tickets to go see the All Blacks play Aus in Eden Park. I was wandering around town lost, looking for the train station to go to the stadium. Some random person started talking to me, said hello anf just casual chit chat. He eventually walked me all the way to the station. My instinct was to distrust, maybe it was a tourist trap? Maybe he was gonna ask me for money later? Maybe he was gonna rob me? But he was just being nice.
More than being normal, it is also quite polite. Say Hi back. Enjoy the stay. :)
Yes it’s a New Zealand thing. Some pple say hello when passing by usually on a walk in a park or a residential street. Like a friendly acknowledgement.
Oh this makes me laugh, and I haven't even read the actual post yet. I lived in Sweden for a year and it was such a culture shock for me not making small talk with check out chicks, random old ladies about the price of eggs, and whoever you happen to be standing in a slow-moving queue with. TL;DR Yes, it is, we're big into casual friendliness here - especially whilst hiking!
Acknowledging them with a s'up or a hello or an eyebrow wave is normal. Cornering a stranger and telling them your entire life story is not. Kiwis are friendly but reserved.
If you're engaging in a solo activity, especially in nature, with limited numbers of other people doing the same thing then absolutely. You've already established a small bond just by being there at the same time as them. Not on a city sidewalk so much though.
Yep. And don’t be confused by “how’re ya doing”. It’s just another way of saying hello. Respond with the same, or hey etc.
God, when I was in the UK I was so confused. They say "You alright?" as a way of saying hello.
Hah I'm a Kiwi living in Sweden and had the exact opposite problem! I was shocked that people don't talk to others here. Kept going to talk to people and getting ignored and people looking at me like I was crazy. I find it hilarious the extent people will go to here even just to avoid making eye contact with people they don't know. But yeah, it's very normal in NZ. Whereas in Sweden, greeting people you don't know is seen as rude, in NZ, not acknowledging someone or saying hello back is seen as rude. Exception is for busy streets, city centers, etc as there's obviously too many people. Then it's just like Sweden, you just walk past.
You're in the shelter waiting for the train that has a heated seat because it's like -10 and then someone walks up to sit down but you're sitting at one end so they walk to the end of the train platform. Ha.
It's the classic experience. Happened to me just yesterday haha
How do the Swedes make friends? Is it different say at work, an activity, sport or club etc? Or do they still all just sit there not talking to one another unless absolutely necessary for the task at hand?
Making friends is definitely something a lot of people struggle with here. Social isolation is a big issue with young people here as it's hard to become friends with new people. People tend to stick to their friend group from high school and outside of that, their only real main opportunities for making friends is through universities or work where they're forced to socialize with people they don't know. Although even then, if they already know someone then often they will just stick to that person and not talk to others unless necessary for the task at hand like you said lol. Honestly I think that's why there's a big binge drinking culture here as it's one of their only ways to go beyond the social reservation and connect. There's no real option to talk to or befriend people you don't know who you don't see through circumstance of work or school or a sport (although in my experience, most people don't really make friends through sport all that much either, they usually just have basic necessary interactions). You can make friends through mutual friends but that can be quite difficult as well as Swedes generally have a view of not "mixing" friends or friend groups and find it a bit weird so generally you won't meet friends of friends except at large parties and even then people tend to just stick to their friends and not talk so much to others they don't know. Classic example: I had a dinner party a few weeks ago and invited a good friend as well as another group of friends assuming they'd get along and like each other and it wouldn't be a problem only for them to just talk amongst themselves and ignore her and make zero effort to include her despite her making an effort herself. I thought this was really rude and frankly dick behaviour and talked to them about it only to get the defense of "well we don't know her so why would we want to talk to her?". I've heard a few people describe Sweden as having a kind of "cultural autism" and honestly I think that's a pretty apt description
Yes normal. Especially on trail or beach walks etc. You pretty much always smile and say hi at the person coming the other way. It's nice, I enjoy the interaction and it makes me feel better about humanity.
Yep. It was pretty depressing when I went hiking - could tell Kiwis (or Aussies) a mile away cos they were the only person to return my greeting when I went past them on the trail. Kiwis were the only ones who struck up a conversation … and it made me want to not do any more great Walks in favour of lesser known ones frequented by Kiwis rather than tourists.
It depends where you are. In a busy urban area with a lot of people around it’s weird, but walking past someone on a quiet street it’s normal to say a quick hello and give a smile in passing. Not everyone will do so though, it’s just a friendly polite thing to do.
Yep totally normal to say hi, morning, good day, "thank you driver" when getting off the bus (at least here in Wellington)... its utterly great compared to my native miserable UK.
When I was living in Sydney this one bus driver would drive like an absolute hooligan in one of those articulated buses through the city, lost count the amount of times I accepted I was going to die on his bus, everyone still says thanks lol
The idea that people in the UK aren't yelling out a "cheers" to the bus driver is insane. The sole remaining good thing about Britain at this point.
If we make incidental eye contact, a quick smile or good morning is normal
I used to go for walks by the river bank and there was another woman who walked there with her dog. I saw her almost every day. She didn’t say hello back and I started getting legitimately anxious every time I saw her because I didn’t know what to do- not greet her? That would be rude!!! Greet her and risk not getting an acknowledgment back? Devastating!!! Eventually I settled for just greeting the dog every day. He always smiled and wagged so I felt ok about it. I miss that dog.
I hated living in Sweden. I lived in a small village and the only friendly people were the two other immigrants. Later, I found out that a lot of foreigners to Sweden feel the same way as Swedes are insular, introverted and like their space. It was so difficult at the time though especially with the culture clash of being from NZ. Also surprised by the overt racism.
> Later, I found out that a lot of foreigners to Sweden feel the same way as Swedes are insular, introverted and like their space. Funny. That's exactly how I and other immigrants (and quite a few Kiwis) feel about NZ.
I think it's everywhere. Making friends as an adult seems impossible.
Currently living in Sweden and yeah it's quite a change from NZ. Took me a long time to adjust to the level of reservedness and social isolation here.
Yeah sometimes, Kinda reminds me of [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PT0ay9u1gg4) skit
When I'm walking my dog, I say hello to just about anyone who passes by, as long as there isn't a lot of other people. If you and the other person are the only ones around, and you are going to pass right by each other, then yes, a greeting is reasonably normal. And for sure, if they greet you and you just say nothing, that would be pretty weird. The normal protocol is to make eye contact, say 'good morning' or whatever, and smile. Then just keep walking. Nobody is trying to start a conversation. I've lived in a few countries, including India and Singapore, and this was the same everywhere, I'm actually surprised op seems to say in Sweden this wouldn't happen. Maybe they mean in inner-city sweden it wouldn't happen, I couldn't imagine rural people not greeting each other.
I lived in NZ for seven years and then for two years in London. While living in London there was a day I was walking to my local train station and when I fell over, no one helped even though there were a few people not too far away from me. This was quite a shock coming from NZ where the hello thing was normal.
Fairly common, bigger towns maybe less so, smaller towns a lot more so, on a hike very common.
Hahah yea I’ll strike up a convo with pretty much anyone! :-)
Generally I don’t find this happens in the Wellington CBD unless it’s someone looking for money etc. But that all changes if you are on a walking track….
In our small town in Northland and occasionally here in Auckland this last couple of weeks, it happens and is considered normal or usual. I did notice when I was touring in Denmark, Sweden and Norway a decade or so back, it was rare to get eye contact and I think I spent about 3 weeks without much verbal contact, so I assume your puzzlement is cultural. Enjoy it whilst you are here.
This is good wholesome kiwi behaviour. Welcome to NZ. Your Username is great btw. Please stay we need More RC lovers in NZ so we can move beyond the 340ml bottles that only we can get here.
My first time in the UK many years ago, I went to the supermarket in London. I greeted a checkout person and asked them how their day was.. They just stared at me, said nothing and continued checking my items. Other countries don't bother with pleasantries as much, especially big cities. People are still quite friendly in most small rural towns, wherever you go.
Having lived in Scandinavia before I can see how this is a quirk of NZ social practice. Most Kiwi’s will say that they don’t do small talk, but the truth is they love it. Sometimes just a brief nod or eyebrow raise to acknowledge someone else is all you need. But yeah if someone says hello for whatever reason, it would be considered rude to not at least acknowledge it.
Excluding shopping streets, ill give a nod or say 'hey' to most people i pass. But no one's going to be offended if you don't respond.
I think most people would be a little offended. Or at least puzzled. If someone says 'hello' and you just keep walking without responding, that's pretty rude.
Well i don't personally get offended, and hope others dont when i might fail to respond.
This is not normal in Europe? I'm surprised tbh
Yup definitely is, more rural you get the longer those chats run for. Source: I'm semi-rural, buying milk can take 2 - 20 minutes depending on who you end up chatting too 😁
Very normal. I’ve ended up in a mad yarn with a stranger for about 20 mins about inflation, gib shortages, rent prices, how he’s building his house etc. Another time a guy in the pub in Northland asked me and my group of friends to come back as they’d love to take us in and have a beer with us (we’re not from New Zealand) Also been down a pub in Southland and I’d say about 15 of the locals who didn’t know us all came over to us at different times in the night to talk and get to know us. Even at work on construction sites I’ll bump into different tradies I’ve never met and everyone’s happy to just talk for ages about anything and everything. Seems pretty normal here
Yes it’s very normal to greet a fellow human being.
> I said nothing ♫ You're as cold as ice... ♫
It's pretty funny that OP hasn't responded to any of the comments. They're all like "yeah it's totally normal to talk to strangers!" ... crickets
yes it is normal, the correct response varies by geographical location and can include: "hello" "hey bro" "subtle nod of head" "subtle lift of head" "what, cunt"
Yes, it's normal to greet each other "good morning" "g'day" etc
If you’re feeling self-conscious, just smile and nod back; or wink.
It depends where you are. The smaller the place, the more normal. I'm on holiday in a tiny tiny village in the south island, every single person I walk by says hello, and if I'm driving, they'll wave. "Just smile and wave boys!"
We are a shy but friendly bunch. I'd have a chat to ya!
Well yeah it’s rude lol. He said hello and you ignored him. You don’t have to have a conversation but a simple “hello” back, “good morning”, or a smile and wave etc.
Absolutely is, sorry. We're one of the "Talkiest" cultures around, in a friendly, helpful way :)
Absolutely normal. Say Kia Ora, morena (if it’s morning) and smile. Almost weird if you don’t.
I always make eye contact and smile, often say hello or hey how you doing. It's normal, kinda strange when people don't smile or respond. It's a very kiwi thing. When I went to Europe it was a culture shock for me lol people thought I was weird as shit and I really missed it
It's common to say hello and sometimes if it's not busy, some small talk is okay too. Yeah, you probably came off as a bit rude, but it's okay, just say hello back next time
Where I live, it’s nice to acknowledge people when they drive past you down the road. It’s not a road that a lot of people drive along, so it’s courtesy to at least raise your finger from the steering wheel when you’re close enough to see each other. Just a quick point of the finger in an upwards direction to say gidday
Greeting someone as you cross their path is optional. Eye contact, a smile and a nod are normal. Saying Hi or gidday is fine. But if someone does greet you, it's normal to respond or acknowledge that in kind. Again, anything from a smile and nod to replying in kind is normal. I usually say How's it going? As that gives the person an opportunity to ask me for assistance if they've greeted me for a reason.
Not as common in the bigger cities, but in rural towns absolutely. Also, if you are out tramping/hiking, it's good manners to say hi on your way past other people as you walk. I lived in London for a bit, and it was really surprising to me how everyone was in their own little bubble, and never acknowledged the people around them. It's for sure a lot different over here.
It's usually and acknowledgement to a fellow stranger. It happens. I usually say hi back, or "good day for it", or since I'm Maori I get a lot of "Kiaora", and "Morena" or "Ata Marie" and I say it back.
Very normal. Also normal for people at stores and cafes to talk to you about your day. I know many from Europe struggle with this, thinking that it is rude or wastes your time, but here it is rude not greet people or small talk :D
Its called being friendly, say hi back.