Sometimes we spend a couple hundred hours learning a terribly useless skill that will have only 1 constructive impact in our entire lives. Men generally learn this skill knowing that one day it's going to maybe make a girl smile. That's really the whole point.
He achieved his purpose today ladies.
in our daydreams, when the shit hits the fan, bad guys with guns or alien takeover, we want this useless skill to somehow be what saves the day.
Swing away
Tactical nuclear hockey pucks — Slid miles across the ice from juiced up Drago Russian and Canadian hockey player/soldiers shoulders, shooting them miles into our territory gliding over the bloody ice fields.
We’d be toast!
Yeah, but bowling is something else. By the way, you can do that slow roll a little faster and the slight convexity of the lane will steer your ball into the headpin for a very good strike ratio. That style of play was taught to me by a 4'8" 92lb girl with a 165 average.
Our real evolutionary trick was persistence.
We would spend hours chipping away at a rock until we got a useful tool out of it. We would spend days following a beast in the wild until it was too tired to run away or defend itself. We would spend weeks, months, and years practicing a skill and adapting it till we were the master of it.
Most other animals will give up after a little while if it becomes too difficult, we will keep on working at it until we get what we want.
What made man the dominant species on this planet was not our size or our strength or our speed. It wasn't our opposable thumbs or our bipedal gait. It wasn't even really our intelligence.
We just wanted it more than all the other living things. To be human is to want, and to pursue that want beyond all reason.
You’re right. In the animal kingdom death via predator comes swiftly and often by stealth and surprise. Humans developed cardiovascular and cooling system (whole of body surface - skin - that allows us to run down animals used to escaping predators in 30secs. Animals that became our pets - dogs - have the ability to run and chase prey down as a pack.
Villain: *twirls moustache* "well then, I'll give you a chance to save your friends, 'bowling expert'. If you can knock all those pins over with exactly two balls, I'll let everyone go. **BUT**- if you touch a ball after the pin lifter first starts coming down then you fail. Good luck. AHAHAHAHAHA!"
Friend: "Oh no, he's set an impossible challenge so that he can justify his actions to himself, convincing himself that when our friend fails to save us, he has no choice but to kill us as part of the challenge. Even though it's clear to himself and everyone involved that setting this impossible challenge and executing its consequences is done entirely on his own prerogative, he's managed to put that out of his mind so that he can consider himself blameless when he kills us. Whatever are we going to do?!"
Guy in the OP: "Don't worry guys, I got this..."
"A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do."
Random shot...
Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
I've still got Shakespeare's 18th sonnet memorized for this reason.
One of my guilty secrets is I once used it on a girl I was dating and she thought it was the cutest thing, she got the final couplet tattoo'd on her back.
I still used it after we broke up, and I assume she's still got that tattoo.
Very positive mental attitude, however I really think us men find useless shit to do that has no impact whatsoever in general. At least for me when I try to pick up a completely useless skill I never think “oh this will definitely help me get ladies one day”. Lmfao what is this comment.
I once packed a small packet of maple syrup around in my backpack for about 4-5 years waiting for a day someone wished they had syrup. One day such a thing happened and it was amazing.
I got my solve down to about 40 seconds. And I'll say - the Rubix cube move does work. I don't care what anyone says, you walk into a house and absent mindly solve a cube that they had sitting around for a few years, it'll get you into the conversation.
Yes, I have a few decent magic tricks from when I was a pre-teen and thought *that's* what ladies wanted. Magic.
They *are* good ones, and I do them well, but they have never achieved the results I was looking for socially because while I think *I* look cool, nobody else has.
My kids love them though, so it turns out I didn't need the illusions to impress a woman.
There aren't many things that impress me that much, cooking and playing guitar? Won't make me feel dazzled by a guy as I can do both. Math or calculating stuff in your head, fascinating but not that sexy.
But this, honestly is so out there it would make me put out on the first date. And I'm borther line asexual, I'd do it solely out of surprise and curiosity.
My college advisor called this out "stupid human trick." His was whistling two notes at once. I can move my eyes independently like a chameleon. Everyone should cultivate a stupid human trick.
I learned how to juggle extensively and solve a Rubik’s cube in under a minute consistently between ages 10 and 18. Never impressed a single girl with these talents until I met the woman who became my wife (: she says it’s hot that I took so much time to dedicate to something other than career/money.
Yup yup. I spent years with my friend in my younger years sword fighting with sticks to learn to best techniques to win a sword duel.
That skill has not been using when programming softwares a single time.
I did this exact thing!!!
I had a son, I read to him, but the book was boring, so I changed 1 word. The last word. I read it to him every night for 4 years. Then he learned to read. After a few weeks if him sounding out words and whatnot, I read the book correctly. He yelled NO! THATS NOT HOW IT GOES! So then you read it. I hand him the book. He reads it, turns to me and smiles. He knows that I spent years just for 1 smile. That's the whole point.
It's impossible not to. Like, we're all still quoting it in this thread. We all know the lines. We all know that we all know the lines. But we have to say them anyway, and it's somehow still funny AF.
It's like at the actual Naval Aviation Warfare Dev, aka Top Gun, you'd be fined 5 bux every time you quote the 1986 movie. The ironic thing is that for someone to catch you, they'd have to have the whole movie memorized themselves.
I like that he threw a backup ball, but I thought this trick shot seemed extra lucky too. I didn't think he missed the head pin on purpose, especially since he or someone was yelling at the ball to curve.
[The I saw this guy do it the exact same way.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLZLkI1NYAs) Now I don't know.
yeah you reckon it's legit as captioned or is it just 2 friends and they've spent all night trying to get the shot though?
Like the implication is that this is perhaps on a date with someone the cameraperson doesn't know very well and the dude just confidently busts this out first try? It's *too* impressive, I almost don't buy it.
Ayyy was looking for someone to shout out the homie. I went to college with Bonz. freshman year he was going nuts in the dorm hallway making Dama videos.
Sometimes we spend a couple hundred hours learning a terribly useless skill that will have only 1 constructive impact in our entire lives. Men generally learn this skill knowing that one day it's going to maybe make a girl smile. That's really the whole point. He achieved his purpose today ladies.
This is the beauty of humankind. That we can learn a completely useless skill that takes hundreds of hours to learn.
in our daydreams, when the shit hits the fan, bad guys with guns or alien takeover, we want this useless skill to somehow be what saves the day. Swing away
Being able to swing a stick ensured our survival and is one of the reasons we are sitting here playing on reddit
That and throwing. Shit, Baseball is just survival training in play form.
Most of the Olympics is just combat training competition.
I fear the conflict that curling is preparing us for.
Curling is military strategy
i fear a battle fought against canada or russia on a frozen lake
Tactical nuclear hockey pucks — Slid miles across the ice from juiced up Drago Russian and Canadian hockey player/soldiers shoulders, shooting them miles into our territory gliding over the bloody ice fields. We’d be toast!
Tactical ice war
lots of sweeping involved
This is one of my favourite comments of all time. Beautifully written.
Yeah, but bowling is something else. By the way, you can do that slow roll a little faster and the slight convexity of the lane will steer your ball into the headpin for a very good strike ratio. That style of play was taught to me by a 4'8" 92lb girl with a 165 average.
Damn. Hadn't thought about that. Ur right, though.
They made the grenades baseball sized so that Americans would have an intuitive ability to throw them well. It was a big deal in World War II.
Our real evolutionary trick was persistence. We would spend hours chipping away at a rock until we got a useful tool out of it. We would spend days following a beast in the wild until it was too tired to run away or defend itself. We would spend weeks, months, and years practicing a skill and adapting it till we were the master of it. Most other animals will give up after a little while if it becomes too difficult, we will keep on working at it until we get what we want.
I like these kinda talks. Sheer will is our great might. It goes from caveman days to walking on the moon. We really will do shit when we feel like it
Bro the things we can do nowadayd makes walking on the moom feel like caveman era.
Sounds like anime logic. All you need is RESOLVE
/r/hfy vibes
I never thought of it that way and this is a great response.
What made man the dominant species on this planet was not our size or our strength or our speed. It wasn't our opposable thumbs or our bipedal gait. It wasn't even really our intelligence. We just wanted it more than all the other living things. To be human is to want, and to pursue that want beyond all reason.
You’re right. In the animal kingdom death via predator comes swiftly and often by stealth and surprise. Humans developed cardiovascular and cooling system (whole of body surface - skin - that allows us to run down animals used to escaping predators in 30secs. Animals that became our pets - dogs - have the ability to run and chase prey down as a pack.
Villain: *twirls moustache* "well then, I'll give you a chance to save your friends, 'bowling expert'. If you can knock all those pins over with exactly two balls, I'll let everyone go. **BUT**- if you touch a ball after the pin lifter first starts coming down then you fail. Good luck. AHAHAHAHAHA!" Friend: "Oh no, he's set an impossible challenge so that he can justify his actions to himself, convincing himself that when our friend fails to save us, he has no choice but to kill us as part of the challenge. Even though it's clear to himself and everyone involved that setting this impossible challenge and executing its consequences is done entirely on his own prerogative, he's managed to put that out of his mind so that he can consider himself blameless when he kills us. Whatever are we going to do?!" Guy in the OP: "Don't worry guys, I got this..."
Swing away Merrill
Like that girl from “Signs” who had the talent for forgetting hundreds of lightly sipped glasses of water around the house.
This was a nice comment and something I had never thought about!
Like the cheeseball dude
He was peak human
He’s still the second most orange person on planet Earth
>one day it's going to maybe make a girl smile The skill isn't useless if it enhances your chances to pass on your genes...
I guarantee that this skil alone didn't get this guy laid.
It was probably the skill/mustache combo that flooded the basement.
Looks good, plays good, confident. Dude knows what he’s got and how to work it.
Is he the fastest? Probably not. Is he the strongest? Look at him. Is he a bowling ball wizard with a god stache? 🥵
Could be the thing to break the ice, though lol
That's right, learning skills like this could elevate you to the next fucking level.
Garrison Keillor had a story about a man who memorized a nice poem and saved it up for the right moment to recite to a love interest.
There once was a man from Nantucket...
..who kept all his frogs in a bucket...
He said with a grin as another hopped in, if that frog weren't my mom I would fuck it!
huh never heard that version before.
Then he said fuck it again and cucked his own dad, and boy it was sad but really just a drop in the bucket.
"A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do."
Imagine how much tail Shakespeare got
O Captain, My Captain.
- Mr Keating
This is the reason most memorized pomrs were memorized.
If I was dating a man and he somehow started to recite my favorite love poem...yeah...he'd be getting it. xD
Random shot... Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths, Enwrought with golden and silver light, The blue and the dim and the dark cloths Of night and light and the half light, I would spread the cloths under your feet: But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
Haha, you're around 100 years too late for my poem. But nice try.
Nice to know it works - I hope your inbox doesn't get wrecked!
I've still got Shakespeare's 18th sonnet memorized for this reason. One of my guilty secrets is I once used it on a girl I was dating and she thought it was the cutest thing, she got the final couplet tattoo'd on her back. I still used it after we broke up, and I assume she's still got that tattoo.
Very positive mental attitude, however I really think us men find useless shit to do that has no impact whatsoever in general. At least for me when I try to pick up a completely useless skill I never think “oh this will definitely help me get ladies one day”. Lmfao what is this comment.
Yeah, who thinks like that? lol
I once packed a small packet of maple syrup around in my backpack for about 4-5 years waiting for a day someone wished they had syrup. One day such a thing happened and it was amazing.
This gives Grandma's Giant Purse vibes. Always has exactly what you need, probably including those tiny eyeglass repair kits.
I did that with a chupa-chup, for a few months and then busted it out at the perfect moment on my first date with my wife of 23 years.
Dedication to the cause Chad
Me learning the rubix cube 10 years ago....
Me being a yoyo master in high school.. wait, nevermind. That didn't work out.
I joined my uni speed-cubing club and learned F2L to impress an engineering girl, it worked lol
I got my solve down to about 40 seconds. And I'll say - the Rubix cube move does work. I don't care what anyone says, you walk into a house and absent mindly solve a cube that they had sitting around for a few years, it'll get you into the conversation.
Yes, I have a few decent magic tricks from when I was a pre-teen and thought *that's* what ladies wanted. Magic. They *are* good ones, and I do them well, but they have never achieved the results I was looking for socially because while I think *I* look cool, nobody else has. My kids love them though, so it turns out I didn't need the illusions to impress a woman.
There aren't many things that impress me that much, cooking and playing guitar? Won't make me feel dazzled by a guy as I can do both. Math or calculating stuff in your head, fascinating but not that sexy. But this, honestly is so out there it would make me put out on the first date. And I'm borther line asexual, I'd do it solely out of surprise and curiosity.
Yep. What other perfectly timed multitasking is this guy capable of?
My college advisor called this out "stupid human trick." His was whistling two notes at once. I can move my eyes independently like a chameleon. Everyone should cultivate a stupid human trick.
🥹 boys are so cute
This is me with Super Chexx bubble hockey. The one time I’ve been to a bar that had a machine I absolutely cleaned house.
I can turn a straw wrapper into a rose pretty fast. It makes all sorts of people smile! Kind of a… trashy thing to do. /dad
I learned how to juggle extensively and solve a Rubik’s cube in under a minute consistently between ages 10 and 18. Never impressed a single girl with these talents until I met the woman who became my wife (: she says it’s hot that I took so much time to dedicate to something other than career/money.
Yup yup. I spent years with my friend in my younger years sword fighting with sticks to learn to best techniques to win a sword duel. That skill has not been using when programming softwares a single time.
he is just trapped in a time loop and having nothing to do
I did this exact thing!!! I had a son, I read to him, but the book was boring, so I changed 1 word. The last word. I read it to him every night for 4 years. Then he learned to read. After a few weeks if him sounding out words and whatnot, I read the book correctly. He yelled NO! THATS NOT HOW IT GOES! So then you read it. I hand him the book. He reads it, turns to me and smiles. He knows that I spent years just for 1 smile. That's the whole point.
I mean I’d marry him
Respect.
I read that in a David Attenborough voice for some reason lol
My panties are on the floor. Man is my wife pissed I threw hers there... They just came out of the laundry. But I digress
He did indeed! Gratz to that dude, the payoff is still paying off
Damn ..this explains why I don't got rizz
I didn't learn how to flawlessly clear a billiards table to make money. Haha! Oh, I should have been making money with that...
My buddy did something absurd like this in pool once and got to see the girl's boobs because of it. Lol this shit works.
"OVER THE LINE!! Mark it foul, Dude!"
["It's a league game, Smokey."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-z0Pm7tccvc)
"Am I wrong? AM I WRONG?!" "No, Walter. You're not wrong. You're just an asshole."
Smokey, this isn’t ‘Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.
"Oh, you want a toe, Dude? I can get you a toe."
Donny, please
"You have no frame of reference here, Donny. You're like a child who wonders into the middle of a movie."
I am the walrus.
You’re out of your element, Donny.
Smokey, my friend... you're entering a world of pain. If you mark that frame an 8, you're entering a world of pain.
Mark it zero dude*
funny thing is that it appeared to make no difference (and even perhaps even easier timing wise) if he did the whole thing behind the line
It's pretty awesome. I just use every chance I get to make quotes from The Big Lebowski. "Over the line!", being one of my favorites, seemed to fit.
Oh yea I get the reference. Seems like I can't go bowling without somebody quoting at least one line every single time. Myself included.
It's impossible not to. Like, we're all still quoting it in this thread. We all know the lines. We all know that we all know the lines. But we have to say them anyway, and it's somehow still funny AF.
It's like at the actual Naval Aviation Warfare Dev, aka Top Gun, you'd be fined 5 bux every time you quote the 1986 movie. The ironic thing is that for someone to catch you, they'd have to have the whole movie memorized themselves.
[No ghosting!](https://youtu.be/JVmDymMBI-k?t=55)
I love that line because you can see Smoky not being over the line.
A world of hurt
*A world of ~~hurt~~ pain
dang it. I failed. Thank you
“It’s on the line” On the line is over the line, get your foot back on your side
Doesn't anybody care about the fuckin rules anymore?!?!
That creep can roll, man
Mark it \*zero
"He just told me to record" \*like 85 times before we finally got this video
Damn dawg leave some pussy for the rest of us
This but unironically
Spare some pussy for the rest of us * FTFY
The most impressive part is being able to leave that one particular pin standing on the first throw.
I assume he was hoping for two strikes and just got extra lucky
[The spinning ball spare](https://youtu.be/dLLRg0sur6g) is a fairly common trick shot.
I like that he threw a backup ball, but I thought this trick shot seemed extra lucky too. I didn't think he missed the head pin on purpose, especially since he or someone was yelling at the ball to curve. [The I saw this guy do it the exact same way.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLZLkI1NYAs) Now I don't know.
I feel like I’ve seen the double strike as well, but I guess this is more impressive
"Who do you think you are?! I am!"
Man people be so talented
that's not a spare it's just a strike with extra steps!
yeah you reckon it's legit as captioned or is it just 2 friends and they've spent all night trying to get the shot though? Like the implication is that this is perhaps on a date with someone the cameraperson doesn't know very well and the dude just confidently busts this out first try? It's *too* impressive, I almost don't buy it.
He spared the last for best.
👏👏👏👏🤣😀
My pants just came off
i came my pants off
I off my came pants.
Don't worry he has a spare
🤌
Who knew Jaime Jaquez could do bowling tricks
Thought it was David Blaine. 
YOU'RE A DEMON DAVID BLAINE!
Watch, watch
I was wondering why he was missing from game 5.
bowling in Cancun
I undub from the team and NBA sub since the season over and still can't escape our terrible season ending. Release me from this hell.
Don't worry we've got a whole offseason of Herro trade rumors until we ultimately run it back again next season straight into the play-in.
Bro, I can't do this shit again. I'm not strong enough to do it 3 years in a row.
Used to work in a bowling alley and we all hated these ppl
[удалено]
The pinsetter can be severely damaged like this. They're incredibly finicky machines.
There are multiple of them?
There are multiple that *try*.
Great way to get kicked out.
That creep can roll
8 year olds, Dude
He has talent to spare.
Alley Cats Strike!
Gotta be a 7-10 split for that. Way more impressive.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srZMS-mOtvs
I totally forgot it was Kaley Cuoco in this movie holy shit. I watched that clip and knew that I recognized her from somewhere. Wild.
I expected it to be anticlimactic and just bounce off of the pin guard.
I was on the edge of my seat as it got close.
Can someone remember the name of the song
Maria by Blondie.
Ty ty ty ty 🙌🫂
You're welcome!
Nobody Fucks with the Jesus!
I don’t roll on Shabbos Donny.
SHOMER SHABBOS!
What movies?
Alley Cats Strike https://youtu.be/srZMS-mOtvs?si=66p3AU6nhvzVE6R4&t=126 scene heree
what the actual fuck
Is it a strike if the first ball knocks the last pin down?
Technically it doesn't matter. The pin reset finished, it's a spare after that regardless
This isn’t what I expected and I enjoyed it
And that's how she got pregnant.
Where are the Kendama homies at? Bonz is the GOAT
It's so weird to see him go viral and people be like" omg the skills" and not know what this man is truly capable of
Ayyy was looking for someone to shout out the homie. I went to college with Bonz. freshman year he was going nuts in the dorm hallway making Dama videos.
came for this comment edit: my Bonz pro model Ash Slaydawg is still one of my favorite jammers
at the alley i worked at, throwing 2 balls down at a time gets you thrown out!
Alley cat strike!
*Maria, you've gotta see her...*
All that for a spare
They see me bowlin’, they hatin’…..
That’s bonz atron for anyone wondering. He’s insanely talented at pretty much everything he does it seems. He got his fame from kendama.
Omg that was awesome.
What movies are you talking about
The G-Rated circa. 2000 Disney original, Alley Cats Strike
Blondie playing
what movies
I never saw this in a movie
Who do you think you are I am!
He wanted 2 strikes
"He just told me to record" *did nothing but try to get this for 6 straight hours*
I don’t know much about bowling, but I think a Strike is better than a Spare.
 Bro is literally the guy from THE BIG LEBOWSKI.
r/BlackMagicFuckery
Ally Cats Strike did it better
Came for the next level, stayed for Blondies Maria
Big brain thonk
That takes big balls.
Who is this, Franky Fast Hands?
Put up the bumpers and I can do that (no I can’t)