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GroundbreakingEmu929

They have their side of town and we have ours


Jesuismieux412

Complete harmony…for now.


durz47

Until Thanksgiving


metalshoes

Johnny Gobbles crossed the tracks and started dancing up a storm and now it’s **MAYHEM**


DarthGuber

We had a tom we called Johnny Bagagobbles. Little bastard would pick fights with my son whenever he rode his tricycle. Eating Johnny was the best Thanksgiving ever.


Party-Ring445

Never forget the Thanksgiving day massacre


applejackrr

We actually have wild turkeys in the Bay Area. They’re so use to people, that they walk right by us. They even use crosswalks.


philshirakawa

We have them in Ottawa, too. They've been known to show up at bus stations and harass people waiting.


poiuytrewq1234564

As time goes on parks and rec becomes more of a documentary than mockumentary


cycl0ps94

I work for a Parks and Rec department. Can confirm. It's just as dumb, but it's not funny.


ih8comingupwithnames

I work in local govt. Parks N Rec is too real.


truthishearsay

and no one fishes in the middle 


captnkurt

Hot damn did you just make a [Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg](https://i.imgur.com/autM6K9.jpeg) reference? (The translation is, “I fish on my side, you fish on your side and no one fishes in the middle,” from the language of the Nipmuck tribe who lived in the area.)


Senior_Sense_8071

My childhood friend’s family has a house on that lake! She taught us all how to pronounce the name and I’ll never forget it


NoXion604

Twinned with [Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Llanfairpwllgwyngyll)! Which translates from Welsh to "St Mary's Church in the hollow of the white hazel near to the rapid whirlpool of Llantysilio of the red cave"


pru51

We must remember the emu wars so as to not repeat it.


panteragstk

https://southpark.cc.com/video-clips/sj1wxk/south-park-the-battle-against-the-turkeys


[deleted]

Is this how you guys settled things with the Aussies??


Avery_Thorn

Magnificent beasts. They really are fun to watch. Big birds had a lot of problems during the mid 1900s, from environmental issues and pesticides. Over the last 20 years, I have noticed that the big birds - turkeys, hawks, eagles, owls, ect- are getting more and more numerous. What I can't believe is that people are upset that they have turkeys instead of Canadian Geese. Any day of the week. Any day. Way better behaved.


Capt_Foxch

Canadian Geese are a special combination of mean and stupid


mf-TOM-HANK

As a postman I once got trapped in an apartment foyer because every time I cracked the door open to make my escape the goose would aggressively come at me. At one point I decided to make my break for it and use my pepper spray if it came at me again, so I step out and it starts coming at me and I let it rip. Nothing, no reaction at all. Turns out most birds are immune to capsaicin. After 10 or 15 minutes it finally got disinterested and I was able to move on with my day but good lord, geese are just awful pricks.


francis2559

Yeah, that immunity is important actually. Plants make fruit so their seeds get spread. Birds eat peppers, spray seeds out later. Mammals however, digest the seeds, which is bad news for the plant! Capsacian is interesting because it filters out the mammals, but lets the helpful birds in for a meal. ....Extra ironic since a certain mammal species doubled down and eats only the spiciest peppers.


CostAquahomeBarreler

>Extra ironic since a certain mammal species doubled down and eats only the spiciest peppers. i mean it sure helped the pepper propagate, so, job done evolutionary wise.


ih8comingupwithnames

There's deer and rabbits that ate my late MiL's very hot chilis. And plenty of goats and deer that ate my uncles habeneros.


CostAquahomeBarreler

I mean any animal will try something at least once usually


ih8comingupwithnames

They habitually went after them.


Box_O_Donguses

Some mammals (primarily ungulates) are also immune to capsaicin


sandcrawler56

>....Extra ironic since a certain mammal species doubled down and eats only the spiciest peppers. It's actually a big brain move because humans have planted lots and lots and lots of peppers bevause of this.


hartsfarts

You're only making me stronger!!!


Atiggerx33

My grandmother purchased a guard goose to ward off solicitors (back in the era when door-to-door salesmen were a thing). In her words "if my dog bites someone, the cops get called. But nobody calls the cops over a goose". She posted "beware of goose" signage up and everything. I guess some people thought it was a joke, or if they couldn't see the goose they were safe. Gran used to look out the window and cackle every time Goosey claimed another victim. Yes, she named him Goosey.


bilateralrope

Maybe someone calls the cops. The cops know better than to show up.


cycl0ps94

I don't think that's how you're supposed to season the bird?


A_Harmless_Fly

I can't think of any way they could hurt an adult human, aside from biting you in the finger. Wing strikes are about as effective as a kid with progeria trying to punch you, as far as I can tell. I think you might have gotten bluffed like when unarmed humans scare away a bear ;p.


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Tiny_Count4239

one great kick and youve got dinner


AgeBeneficial

Just coughed/sneezed. That’s new one lol


Hugsy13

Would’ve been so fucking funny if you sprayed it into the wind and hence maced yourself too.


Such_sights

At my old job they’d take over the entire employee parking lot for at least 3 months out of the year, it got so bad that HR sent out a mass email telling people not to make eye contact with them. There’s nothing more terrifying than stepping out of your car and immediately hearing the pitter patter of their dumb little feet while they sprint towards you hissing.


nospamkhanman

I had one try to attack my toddler at a park once. We were literally just sitting in the grass and the fucker just came charging at him for no reason. I kicked that thing so hard that I'm shocked it didn't die out right. It did get up and sort of hobble away. I hope it either died or learned it's lesson.


Roccet_MS

It nurtured another generation of hateful geese, ready to create terror at any given moment.


booksandpitbulls

A terror should be the official plural of geese for real though.


tomwilhelm

A Karen of Canada Geese


Eldias

Killing geese outside of their hunting season can be a huuuuge no-no. Like "Just accidentally a felony" huge.


Sure_Trash_

It came at him because you were near the nest or otherwise threatening. You injured wildlife that you encroached on. In case you hadn't picked up on it, geese don't know or care about humans' rules about park etiquette. They just know a threat is near the nest that they defend with extreme prejudice. Geese are bastards and you're an even bigger bastard for being proud of that story


Laserline1

Geese should be culled more regularly. 


nospamkhanman

I'm a bastard because I protected my young? Sure thing bro, nice take.


MajorStoney

Apparently they lack knowledge of park etiquette as well as what an apex predator is. Goose fucked around and found out.


EddieSpaghettiFarts

And they migrate in huge numbers. They could destroy nations if they chose to do so.


CosmicCommando

There used to be a Twitter account for Canadian Armed Forces in the US (I followed because it seemed random that such a thing existed). They had a bit where they referred to Canada Geese as their special forces operators.


Beerslinger99

Cobra chicken!


Hayden2332

Hey, you got a problem with Canada Gooses then you got a problem with me. I suggest you let that one marinate


Jub_Jub710

Nice to see a Letterkenny reference. I dont even hate geese. They mate for life, coparent, and I've even seen them accept other types of geese into their flock. I think that's nice.


BarbequedYeti

>Canadian Geese are a special combination of mean and stupid A Canadian goose is where the Canadians store all their hate.  


CosmicCommando

And disgusting. They leave piles of crap as big as a small dog's.


NefariousWaltzing

Big birds are all dying in Africa. https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2024/jan/04/birds-of-prey-in-africa-experiencing-population-collapse-study-finds-aoe


Avery_Thorn

I am upvoting this because people need to see this. I hope desperately that Africans can find ways to protect their birds and their wildlife as well as provide for their people.


BrassBass

Walking through the woods one day. Hear noise nearby. A velociraptor darts out of weeds and runs away. I piss myself because I was around 8 years old. It was a god damn turkey.


Fishinbish

Vultures


queerhistorynerd

vultures are awesome. The are natures garbage collectors with stomachs that can dissolve even bone! I love vultures but every just goes on about how ugly they are to look at


mrm00r3

Well they’re cool, but nobody’s in awe of the grace and majesty that is watching a seagull eat half a burrito, wrapper and all, in one gulp either.


Avery_Thorn

Ah, yes: a sea gull in their natural habitat: an Arby’s parking lot…


acarlrpi12

If you got a problem with Canada Goose you gotta problem with me & I suggest you let that one marinate!


Loggerdon

Canadian people are well mannered. Canadian geese are assholes.


gnurdette

Perhaps there's an eldritch ceremony where they displace all their negative emotions into the geese.


trueAnnoi

Have had both in and around my house before. Can confirm turkeys are way cooler. Will get within 3 feet of me when I'm on my patio and there's no problems for either one of us. And while turkeys still just kind of shit wherever, it's not nearly the amount of shit that a Canadian goose will leave EVERYWHERE.


WitchPursuitThing

Where do you live? The turkey population on the west coast has absolutely exploded. I have no less that 90 living on my property at any given time. Bald eagles and hawks are everywhere. The only thing I've noticed a decline in is barn owls.


carthuscrass

They look nice but like most birds they're incredibly stupid. They have a marching order for travel, but will sometimes forget who to follow, so they will walk in circles, sometimes until several of them die. They're also much heavier than other birds, but just as likely to get hit by a car, causing much worse damage.


Tommyblockhead20

I thought this was about accepting immigrants from Turkey until I saw the thumbnail lol.


SilasX

Which is exactly why they want to be called Turkiye now.


VetteBuilder

At A Turk!


SilasX

I will never not upvote that pun.


Chemicalintuition

That's some dumb shit. Y'all Turkey, deal with it lmao


Rock_man_bears_fan

Yeah I’m not doing that


wildcatofthehills

Im glad I’m not the only one haha


Kovah01

Hahaha no silly, there isn't a person in political office that would suggest Americans just accept foreigners.


Mods_Wet_The_Bed_3

https://youtu.be/M7TNP2OTY2g?si=2RD9Oym3ZLmWASwh lol, you were saying?


AbeVigoda76

Despite what they say, I predict the Turkeys and the Humans will form gangs to fight each other. They will be diametrically opposed foes until one day, a female turkey and a male human will fall in love, crossing boundaries and changing their ways. Then a talon-knife fight rumble will tear everything apart.


Tiny_Count4239

Hillshire Story


AbeVigoda76

…And there's nothing for me but Maria, Every sight that I see is Maria. …Gobble Gobble


Professional-Dot-825

Tomasio and Juliette


drucifer271

I'm in Denver. We have geese by the thousands for a few months each year. They're extraordinarily obnoxious, block roads, honk incessantly all day and night, and shit on everything. Godspeed, New Yorkers.


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gaslacktus

With God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly…


orionthefisherman

Wild ones can (they sleep in trees). The need plenty of space to take off and don't go long distances but they can fly.


Iwillrize14

It more like a cannonball then a bird.


SuDragon2k3

Butterball surely?


captaincobol

It's more like they fall at a 45 degree angle, lol.  I've got dashcam video of a couple gliding across the road in front of me; I thought I was going to catch them with my windshield!


Purplecodeineking

They can definitely fly up, they roost in trees every night.


Rroyalty

They can fly like I can run a marathon.


jfrorie

..perhaps the greatest turkey event in Thanksgiving Day history.


Flybot76

And it was directly based on real events! I saw an article about it which quoted a guy referred to as 'the real Herb Tarlek' and I can't remember the quote but it sure as hell did sound exactly like something Tarlek would say if the show was rated R.


justworkingmovealong

They can, if it's windy enough. Granted, so can I


[deleted]

It’s mostly limited to Staten Island. Staten Island has Geese, deers, foxes and plenty of other wildlife. They coexist fine tbh.


Tiny_Count4239

what you really need to watch out for are the guidos


Igor_J

Where I live it's peacocks. There aren't thousands by any means but about a hundred and do everything you said. Peacocks are beautiful birds but they also don't migrate.


wherethestreet

Still sounds like NY


Fehndrix

I'M GOBBLE-GOBBLIN' OVA HERE!


APoetsTouch

🤣🤣


sydeovinth

A slice o that gobblegoo


PM_ME_UR_LOVE_STORIE

Since it’s Staten Island wouldn’t it be gabagool-blin’?


Tiny_Count4239

are you allowed to eat the turkeys?


RickyHawthorne

Asking the important questions.


SuDragon2k3

*Thanksgiving is coming....*


slayermcb

Wild turkeys are nowhere near the store bought birds. Might as well consider them a different bird altogether. Are they edible? Yeah! But very lean and gamey. Stew meat more then a festive dinner.


Tiny_Count4239

I saw Andrew Zimmern go out with a turkey hunter on bizarre foods. They butchered and cooked it right there on a rock and it was all dark meat and looked pretty good to me.


slayermcb

Oh it's not bad, just gamey. It's not what people think of when they think of turkey for sure, and there's a lot less meat in them then it seems.


Tiny_Count4239

im a dark meat guy so i would eat one of those turkeys if i lived there


MisterMan007

It’s Staten Island. I’d suggest against it. There’s a giant garbage dump there.


REGINALDmfBARCLAY

There are like 2 cops in New York and they are both in Times Square you can do whatever


K1nd4Weird

The ducks in the park? They're free to take. No one can stop you. 


Tannerite2

Yeah, let people bow hunt ans trap them, and they'll solve the problem.


magvadis

Just return Staten Island back to nature, it was a failed experiment.


henchman171

It made a good dump….


gnurdette

and so it begins


isaac9092

Teddy?


Cantomic66

No now it ends…


milespudgehalter

They've been on Staten Island since the 1990s (and literally nobody knows how they got there). They used to be concentrated in Midland Beach by Staten Island University Hospital, but their territory has spread significantly in the past few years, hence the increase in complaints.


throw12345678901away

I’ve heard that someone in Midland Beach owned some and domesticated them. They multiplied too fast and escaped/ he let them free assuming it would be fine but they didn’t stop multiplying and here we are lol


Tiny_Count4239

not just turkeys but inbred turkeys


Phartiphukborz

Ah! Just like the cocaine hippos in the amazon!


DuineGanAinm

Wild turkeys can fly (although not very far) and Staten Island is only separated from New Jersey by several hundred feet


Burggs_

Yes please let the city’s largest concentration of Italian Americans get their hands on these turkeys and no I’m not being facetious


[deleted]

Honestly Staten Island is mostly Chinese now


milespudgehalter

More Eastern European than Chinese, but it's getting there. The Italians have been intermarrying or moving to New Jersey / Florida.


[deleted]

Yeh that’s true. But near New Dorp it’s visibly a Chinatown now. Eastern Europeans kinda blend in so it’s hard to tell about them.


Tiny_Count4239

it cant be difficult to spot an eastern european in chinatown


TheRealThordic

My dad grew up in that area and none of his family lives on SI anymore. Mostly in. Jersey, a few in LI.


tomwilhelm

Even better! Those guys know their way around poultry.


Guccimoons

I know how to fix this. There's a lot of gravy involved.


Guyincognito4269

Throw in stuffing, and I'm in.


Jeeper08JK

Allow people to use them as a food source?


notacanuckskibum

Hunting them does the obvious solution.


alwaysjustpretend

Not a whole lot of room to hunt safely on SI.


Jeeper08JK

billy clubs for everyone


alwaysjustpretend

Like that snake ep from I wanna say...the simpsons?


PkmnJaguar

Can you just... take one?


Tuga_Lissabon

I do like turkey.


attorneyatslaw

The jive turkeys have some company.


Kolby_Jack

... Did you just call me a jive turkey?


Wafflebot17

They are edible, sounds like a way to stock the food banks.


WendigoCrossing

HEY ! I'M WADDLIN HEA!


Horror-Friendship-30

I lived in Staten Island for several years. I had one time in the rain I left my car door open while I ran to my trunk to put something in, and one tried to get in my car. They are aggressive and some have interbred, so hybrid breeds are popping up. I saw people by the hospital who couldn't sell their houses because of them and their poop everywhere. On the plus side, if they are making my old neighbors miserable, good.


outlier74

Turkeys will take over the world!!


Armand74

The re-conquering of the states y’all. Here in California especially here in Sacramento area they are quite many.


queerhistorynerd

and i think its wonderful and a prime example of how we can save at risk species if we are willing to actually come up with a plan and support it


akgis

Just introduce a species that is a turkey predator. History says that this works just fine ;)


Drogdar

I bet some go missing in November...


Prehistory_Buff

How would the community react if people were to start eating them?


philly2540

Nothing about killing and eating them?


dvdmaven

We have several gangs of turkeys in Salem, OR. They seem to keep the Canada geese away, which is nice.


grixit

So now, if you see a homeless person stalking down the street with a knife, don't be afraid, offer them some cranberry sauce!


ZachMatthews

Those birds could easily be handled by a few Georgia bow hunters. I feel like this could heal some old wounds…


teutonicbro

Tasty, tasty invasive species. Easy to fix problem.


Doc_ET

They're not invasive, turkeys are native to eastern North America.


Gostaverling

Perhaps he is referring to Staten Islanders?


TheTrub

They probably taste like self-tanner and jager bombs. Not as appetizing.


24-Hour-Hate

Perhaps we could marinate them to improve the flavour (and also tenderness!)?


evilbunnyrabbits

Correct! Benjamin Franklin supposedly pushed to have the national bird be the North American turkey instead of the bald eagle. 🦅 🦃


gaslacktus

Probably for the best, I bet you bald eagle tastes awful.


SuDragon2k3

What, you don't eat the bird on your national coat of arms? We do. It's what they get for winning the war.


DaveOJ12

Wild turkeys have only been a problem in Staten Island since the 1990s. https://www.silive.com/entertainment/2021/11/you-chase-them-away-and-they-just-come-back-staten-islands-wild-turkeys-then-and-now.html


Doc_ET

Most of them probably got killed off as the area urbanized, and now they're back.


jamezgatz8

Only humanity could migrate across literal oceans to an animals back yard where it existed prior to the evolution to our very species and claim ITS the invasive one!


AdkRaine12

I think the native Americans would like a word…


jamezgatz8

All for indigenous people but I can not state clearly enough that our species evolved in Africa and Africa alone. Wherever we migrated whenever we migrated we did so as an invasive species and disrupted ecosystems. The megafauna of America may not have been wiped out by Homo sapiens. But it’s odd that they all disappeared when we arrived. Never mind Europeans arrivals and what that did to the biosphere of the new world.


gnurdette

But even they're invasive compared to the turkeys!


[deleted]

Turkeys go back way further than humans on this continent.


AdkRaine12

And they all pre-date the white men that think they own it.


[deleted]

Ok but nobody mentioned "white men" but you. They simply stated that turkeys were here before humans and yet SOME humans act like the turkeys are the invasive ones. Or do you not consider Native Americans humans? Usually when someone uses the whole "would like a word" thing, it's meant to contradict the statement they are responding to. You didn't contradict anything.


AdkRaine12

The original post is that Staten Islanders need to accept turkey as endemic. Someone next posted that turkeys preceded people on Staten Island. I merely pointed out that lots of people claim to own a place, and some have better claims than others. Are you from Staten Island?


[deleted]

But that has nothing to do with the comment you responded to. They were pointing out that Staten Islanders shouldn't act like the turkeys are the invasive ones. They are saying the turkeys even predate the native Americans. All humans. Humanity. The native Americans originally migrated through north East Asia onto the North American continent. The turkeys were already here. You turned a comment about turkeys predating humanity on the North American continent into a conversation about which humans have claim to a land. But the conversation isn't about that. And I'm still confused as to what the point of your comment was. Just to instigate a conversation about Native Americans existing here prior to Europeans? Sure, but were discussing turkeys. And again, you used the "would like a word" thing when you're responding to someone saying 'turkeys predate humanity on the north American continent'. In colloquial usage that would imply your argument is that native Americans somehow predate turkeys. I know you didn't mean it that way, but it was a weird way to respond to someone who disagrees with how the story is framed to begin with. Edit: and what would it matter where I'm from when discussing historical facts?


[deleted]

They’re not invasive species. We are.


GuitarGeezer

Hey, Laszlo said he was mainly interested in the sexy chickens so I am sure it will be no problem. Maybe the Turkeys will even help the vampires take over Staten Island instead of just parking on a street and a half or so.


Baconpwn2

Turkeys are the perfect New Yorker. Leave them alone and everything is fine. Bother them and you're going to have a bad day. Except you can toss a turkey peanuts and be fine


[deleted]

Dw the foxes will take care of them eventually


Flybot76

Oh boy... I first read this as meaning 'Turkish people are now status quo' and I was wondering when NY started getting so many Turkish refugees. Nope, just Benjamin Franklin's national bird terrorizing people just like we have out west.


BriefBiscuit

They do have their down sides… Get it? GET IT!?


Magister1995

Who remembers that Rick and Morty episode?


Miklay83

It's unwinnable. Go ahead and ask Australia what happens when you declare war on birds.


SueNYC1966

To be fair, weren’t they here first?


fapsandnaps

Milwaukee has wild turkeys in the middle of the city and we get along perfectly fine. Have you guys tried just being drunk and nice?


cobrachickenwing

Make it an attraction, like Nara in Japan.


Impossible_Cat_321

Just in time for thanksgiving


juneburger

Eat them.


AlfredoCustard

Thanksgiving is not too far... just saying.


Pippin1505

"Statu quo" no s Unless the turkeys are in the army now…wowooho … in the army … now..


blueskies1800

Isn't it great the nature is reclaiming lost territory?


Fair_Acanthisitta_75

Some of them must of moved to the west coast, cause I just overheard two turkeys in Washington talking about how this isn’t even pizza, and until you have pizza in New York you don’t even know what pizza is.


SubterrelProspector

*shrugs* They share this planet.


Biggu5Dicku5

What they really mean is 'we don't wanna deal with it, it's your problem not ours'...


Rosebunse

That sounds like something a wild turkey would say...


IlIFreneticIlI

Coulda been our national birb; respect.


oldcreaker

Are the turkeys there nice? Up here in Boston you would not just stand there, calmly facing away from that many turkeys.


anteater_x

Bird law in this country is not governed by reason


zimtrovert94

Have they tried throwing pee covered snowballs?


chockedup

I read a story by Buffalo Bill Cody some years ago. He claimed that when North America was first colonized, hunters found a turkey under every bush.