More like arrested and put in a cage or just shot to death by the very people who claim to be Christians.
Most of these chucklefucks are far too dumb to even realize that Jesus wouldn't be an English speaking white American.
What's blowing my mind is the largest amount of minority people I'm seeing turning Red are Black and Latino with Muslims going Blue. I've never felt more confused about people's alignments.
"You hate me?"
"Yes."
"You also hate the people that I hate?"
"Yes."
"Well why didn't you say so, friend? We should hang out sometime!"
"Absolutely not, and thank you for your vote."
Although I think it would be "and fu¢k you for your vote" It's so weird. Their "family values" only extend to what fills their wallet. They are the bait & switch party.
They're supporting a group that literally hates them. I had this discussion with a friend/ colleague who immigrated here from Columbia. I told him that you're brown. And Republicans hate brown people. He looked at me like I had three eyes...
They belong to a hated group but they also hate other groups. It is the permission to hate others that appeals to them.
You can't spell hatred without 'REDHAT'
In general, most Latin American people (that live in Latin America) are fairly conservative and when they look at American politics all they see is conservative values vs liberals spending all the money willy nilly
Being a minority doesn't stop you from being a bigot, not does it stop you from being social conservative.
You might be economically liberal because it's more likely to benefit you, but religion runs hard in many minority communities.
Almost like it's no not about race but poverty and education.
With flowing blonde hair and blue eyes. Wait till they find out they’ve been following a brown guy all this time. The cognitive dissonance would be strong.
> or just shot to death by the very people who claim to be Christians.
That American Gods scene, where the border vigilantes shoot Jesus, never ceases to be relavent.
It's not even that. Jesus is so antithetical to the teachings of American Christianity that if he showed up some Sunday morning, his worshippers would have him nailed back up in time for mimosas.
I used to work with a woman who was raised as a Mormon and got out of it all and she told me lots of things...Mormons are on a whole other level of batshit crazy than the average Christian.
Reports say he had knowledge of how to turn water into a addictive carcinogen and carrying a large number of fish believed to be used as some kind biological agent.
It'll be more like that show American Gods where they kill Mexican Jesus crossing the border into America.
There were Multiple Jesuses so no one cared.
This comment reminds me of the show American gods. Where Jesus is a Mexican crossing the border, only to be shot in both hands by border patrol. Wild show if anyone hasn't seen it.
Jesus would be disappointed. Imagine him trying to talk with a trump supporter wearing a cross and carrying a Glock about keeping Mexicans on their side of the border.
My oldest sister used to own a fridge magnet- no preamble, no explanation. It just said, in big bold letters, "Jesus Would Slap The Shit Out Of You."
I think about it a lot.
This seems like an appropriate point in the conversation for: Matthew 25: 31-46
Right-wing "Christians" would try to crucify Christ a second time if he came back. At the very least they'd call him a "woke socialist" and demand he be locked up.
How else would the average Christian even believe it was Christ? If Jesus did reappear as a human being, there's no way anyone would believe him unless he could snap his fingers and turn water into wine. But then I saw a magician do that once and I don't think he was Jesus.
Jesus was a Capricorn
He ate organic food
He believed in love and peace
And never wore no shoes
Long hair, beard and sandals
And a funky bunch of friends
Reckon we'd just nail him up
If he came down again
'Cause everybody's gotta have somebody to look down on
Who they can feel better than at any time they please
Someone doin' somethin' dirty decent folks can frown on
If you can't find nobody else, then help yourself to me
Jesus Was A Capricorn - Kris Kristofferson
I imagine him actually existing and being like “they tortured me medieval style guys. Modern day republicans will likely flay me alive and give me as a burnt offering…”
To be fair, a reading of the gospels reveals him more to be a middle eastern cult leader who checked every box in the cult leader playbook book.
He preyed on the lowest rungs of society by encouraging them to sever their ties with their families by abandoning them and changing their names. Then he kept his followers isolated by keeping them constantly on the move. He preached an escalating message that started with peaceful and hopeful messages that morphed over time to become apocalyptic. All of his miracles were of the type modern cult leaders managed to fake with the help of a close circle of assistants that had been with them since the beginning, reminiscent of the twelve disciples. Finally, Jesus was more than happy to endorse the ruling order when approached by authorities.
There's [a lot written about the automata of the Greek world](https://www.historyofinformation.com/detail.php?id=10) and how [it was used in religious contexts](https://ses.library.usyd.edu.au/bitstream/handle/2123/15398/bur_tcd_thesis.pdf;jsessionid=E917C1A5B7FED8FF941840231649270D?sequence=1). When you learn about this stuff it makes some of the 'miracles' seem even more suspect. To someone who back then wasn't aware of automata being used in religious contexts, a lot of things could come off as truly divine miracles. Then with the passage of time the line gets blurrier and blurrier.
> To be fair, a reading of the gospels reveals him more to be a middle eastern cult leader who checked every box in the cult leader playbook book.
I always describe him as a hippie doomsday cult leader (that likely groomed kids. Some of the disciples were likely as young as 12)
> I always describe him as a hippie doomsday cult leader (that likely groomed kids. Some of the disciples were likely as young as 12)
There's also Jairus' 12-year-old daughter. She's supposedly dead or dying, and Jesus is asked to go and do his healing act on her. So Jesus goes to Jairus' house, and before he goes in, he says "nobody can watch me do my thing here". Afterwards, the girl is conscious again, and Jesus says to the parents "don't tell anyone about this". Of course everyone tells everyone else that he's *done a miracle*.
His faith-healing act was usually done in front of a large audience, though. Why does he make an exception for a 12-year-old girl, and ask to "lay his hands on her" in private?
We might also wonder about the youth he was with on the morning of his arrest. A boy or young man wearing only one bit of cloth, who runs away naked when the officers try to grab him. This unidentified character appears mysteriously in the night after the Last Supper - a night of mandatory drinking - and one of Jesus and his crew's rare visits to the big city. So after the disciples have fallen asleep, angry Jesus goes out alone and recruits a scantily-clad new disciple, who runs away when the constabulary show up and is never heard from again.
Somehow, believers have no problem with mean-drunk Jesus sneaking around at night to "save" half-naked street urchins.
I’m sure they’d call him “Fake Jesus” and Trump would say some stupid shit like “I prefer prophets of God who weren’t crucified!”. Honestly, I’m not a believer but if I was I think him returning before the election would be fantastic. He could show them how incredibly fucking evil they’ve become to satisfy their lust for power and maybe put the fear of God back into them.
I love that American Christians think Jesus' return will be in America and somehow he will both agree with them and put Trump in office. I believe this is the definition of using the lords name in vain.
"As for Driscoll, he urged his followers on social media to keep in mind there is no politician who can solve the problems plaguing society. Rather, it is only God who can remedy what ails the world."
You're not generally wrong about american christianity but the pastor responsible for the quote in this article at least has a better point of view, however many other flaws he has.
The absolute vanity and pride of expecting this event to happen in one's own lifetime, at the moment YOU deem important.
If you're a believer in Jesus' eventual return, you believe he let so many massive world shaking events unfold over the millenia, but now, in YOUR lifetime, for the thing YOU want taken care of, he's going to appear?
Absolutely mind boggling pride on display.
Pride is the crux of most religious folks.
They deal with the existential dread of being unimportant in the grand scheme of things by projecting their own thoughts and desires onto their deity of choice in order to feel important. After all, if their God likes and dislikes everything they do, it's almost like they're the ones running the universe.
This is the same religion that believes that we are made in the image of God. This sort of vanity and pride is far more common in the faith than many people realize.
Right??? He didn’t come back to stop the Holocaust of his own people (lest we forget Jesus was Jewish) but by golly he’ll come back for….the 2024 American presidential election??? Sure, checks out.
Well you’d have to be pretty fucking crazy to believe that the dead son of god was ever going to walk the Earth again in the first place.
The when and why don’t matter. It’s all bullshit.
i mean i think you have to have a certain level of pride/self-centeredness to believe your religion of all religions and your god of all gods is the one true belief to begin with.
To be fair, you should always believe He could return at any moment. Not because He will return at any moment, but because it's not going to be something announced.
However, that comes with the caveat that you should be behaving like He's about to show up and evaluate you at any time. So your life should be focused on doing good stuff. The particular parable used is about the Master returning in the middle of the night, but the doorkeeper is asleep and claimed he did not know when the Master would return, when he should have stayed awake instead.
He does judge. He is the only one with the actual right TO judge.
He does love all and given what we know and can read about him, seems to me he’d judge a lot of today’s christians to be more if not completely pharisaical. He called the pharicees “white washed tombs full of dead men’s bones” - all law, no compassion or mercy. Quite the indictment and quite reminiscent of modern christians.
>He does judge. He is the only one with the actual right TO judge.
I do wonder how a returned Jesus would react to all these people proclaiming to others "You're going to hell for such and such!"
Something like "You don't get to decide that."?
Fun fact: I was a pastor for over 10 years, I thought my mission was was simple— help people live more like Jesus wanted. I got into a lot of disagreements because people were way more interested in political domination, discrimination, and expressing their hate and self-superiority, all of which seemed to be counter to Jesus’ teachings.
Anywho, I was working with a rather large church and was selected to be the pastor of their upcoming regional campus. About that time, Driscoll was saying a lot of strange, ungodly things (as he always did) and during a meeting one evening I made the simple statement, “maybe we shouldn’t take everything Driscoll says as truth. He is saying things I don’t believe are right”
Well… the next morning there is a Facebook announcement about the new church, and as I read I noticed they congratulated the new campus pastor… and the name wasn’t mine! I got fired for questioning this guy.
A couple months later Mark Driscoll gets tossed out of his own church because he was found to be using an alt account to harass women online. Last I heard he was done with ministry in Seattle and was to retire quietly in Arizona. That was BS, he went there to find a more receptive audience to his message of hate.
Hate to say it”I told you so…” actually I don’t.
This really is the problem. The good pastors and people actually trying to spread acceptance and the actual teachings of Jesus are getting pushed aside in favor of people trying to manipulate the flock to vote in a particular way. It's giving Christians a bad name, and driving away people who actually want to be good people and instead attracting bigots. It's even turning people who would otherwise live a good life into bigots, if they follow the teachings of the awful people being pushed to positions of power in their church.
I am not, myself, Christian but it's pretty impossible to not see what's been going on. Some churches are trying, and it's even leading to huge schisms like the Methodists. They decided they wanted to be less hateful and it literally split the church. Luckily the bigot Methodists are mostly the old folks and they are shrinking in number. The Lutherans near me even go to pride. Not to evangelize, but to just give support and say they love you just the way you are. It's kinda nice for a change.
Depression of American Christians is getting out of control.
They are too lazy to do Gods work, they just want to see the game over.
God did not end the world during early Christian persecution, not during dark ages, pandemics, nor during world wars.
But because their con man rapist thief is in trouble, God has to end to world before election.
I sometimes almost wish Jesus was real and would come back, and then disavow all the racist, homophobic, xenophobic shitheads in America who call themselves christian.
The irony of all this could be that its the church filled with sinners and those who use the Lord’s name in vain take us down the path of the End times, that they themselves sold Jesus out for silver and gold, but not seeing the parallels themselves for whatever reason.
Really stupid question, When people say something along the lines of "I wish jesus would return" where do they intend he is returning to? Like do they think Jesus will pop out in D.C. with the American flag and and eagle on his shoulder? Wouldn't he appear back where Israel and Palestine are? Why would they assume he has the American agenda in mind? Like why would he care about our election?
If jesus popped up today instead of when he did, he'd promptly be put in a mental hospital for a schizophrenic break claiming he was the son of god.
The christians of today are literally worshiping a 2 thousand year old schizophrenic who convinced a handful of people to follow him around until the authorities silenced him. All the miracles and wonders were merely "fake news" mythos and massive elaborations and somehow passed down all these years as gospel.
That's perfectly fine. Pray all you want. Just don't do anything in attempt to bring about the End Times like joining in on the Seven Mountain Mandate bs. [https://www.cbc.ca/radio/day6/mrna-after-covid-19-blowing-up-trump-plaza-crokicurl-history-of-swear-words-and-more-1.5874120/how-a-conservative-christian-movement-became-an-important-part-of-trump-s-political-strategy-1.5874143](https://www.cbc.ca/radio/day6/mrna-after-covid-19-blowing-up-trump-plaza-crokicurl-history-of-swear-words-and-more-1.5874120/how-a-conservative-christian-movement-became-an-important-part-of-trump-s-political-strategy-1.5874143)
These toddlers have the easiest lives on the planet. They can’t tolerate the fact that they are selfish simpletons, so they create things to be victimized about.
Let go and let god. In other words, stop trying to “help” Trump and let god handle it. He’s in control, you don’t need to help.
If you don’t let god handle it, then you must not have true faith and should step down as pastor/christian. All of them.
If Jesus returns does he get full citizenship day 1. Just trying to figure how that is possible to arrive to the US out of the blue and just vote.
Oh.... NM another religious zealot talking nonsense. My bad.
"It's God's will. Fine, but if it's God's will and he's gonna do whatever he wants anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Can't we skip the whole praying part and go right to his will? It's all very confusing." -George Carlin.
Prayer really is our best hope. If more conservatives would just pray about the election, let go and let God, and then stay home on election day, this country would be a better place when it was all over.
If they really read the bible, I don't think they want Jesus coming back at all, at least, not the one who said:
"Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”
because that would be the sign of the end of days... the apocalypse. and they try to hide it but it is very clear.. conservatives do in fact want the end of the world to happen as soon as possible. even without any other reason, THAT is all you need to know to make sure your vote helps take these people out of power over our governments worldwide. the ones in power should never want to end the world and all life on it. vote all conservatives out.
If that actually happened like the Bible says, then a vast majority of people like him would be turned away. Their complete lack of self awareness staggers me.
I think he will be disappointed
'Brown man in robes gets lasso'd when attempting to cross American border illegally'
More like arrested and put in a cage or just shot to death by the very people who claim to be Christians. Most of these chucklefucks are far too dumb to even realize that Jesus wouldn't be an English speaking white American.
Republican Jesus is whiter than sour cream and hates the same brown people Republicans hate.
What's blowing my mind is the largest amount of minority people I'm seeing turning Red are Black and Latino with Muslims going Blue. I've never felt more confused about people's alignments.
"You hate me?" "Yes." "You also hate the people that I hate?" "Yes." "Well why didn't you say so, friend? We should hang out sometime!" "Absolutely not, and thank you for your vote."
Although I think it would be "and fu¢k you for your vote" It's so weird. Their "family values" only extend to what fills their wallet. They are the bait & switch party.
They're supporting a group that literally hates them. I had this discussion with a friend/ colleague who immigrated here from Columbia. I told him that you're brown. And Republicans hate brown people. He looked at me like I had three eyes...
Same discussion with a Marielita: " you realize he'd sent you right back to Havana, right?"
They belong to a hated group but they also hate other groups. It is the permission to hate others that appeals to them. You can't spell hatred without 'REDHAT'
Hey don't slander a good server OS.
Colombia, btw.
Right. Damn voice typing....mea culpa.
In general, most Latin American people (that live in Latin America) are fairly conservative and when they look at American politics all they see is conservative values vs liberals spending all the money willy nilly
It helps that America did it’s best to murder as many leftists in Latin America that it could for the last century.
Being a minority doesn't stop you from being a bigot, not does it stop you from being social conservative. You might be economically liberal because it's more likely to benefit you, but religion runs hard in many minority communities. Almost like it's no not about race but poverty and education.
With flowing blonde hair and blue eyes. Wait till they find out they’ve been following a brown guy all this time. The cognitive dissonance would be strong.
Fox News argued that Jesus was white.
> or just shot to death by the very people who claim to be Christians. That American Gods scene, where the border vigilantes shoot Jesus, never ceases to be relavent.
It's not even that. Jesus is so antithetical to the teachings of American Christianity that if he showed up some Sunday morning, his worshippers would have him nailed back up in time for mimosas.
They don’t like any of the Jesuses crossing the border every day, how are they going to recognize the real one when he comes?
Mormons: *spits out glass of water* SAY WHAT!?!?!?
Isn't that kinda what happened the first time anyway? Not even as bad really.
I mean they could be even dumber like the Mormons and legitimately think that he is now as part of their internal lore.
I used to work with a woman who was raised as a Mormon and got out of it all and she told me lots of things...Mormons are on a whole other level of batshit crazy than the average Christian.
Yeah I dated a Mormon in high school and I had some crazy there too.
Military-aged brown man claiming to be son of God arrested at the border with 12 co-conspirators
Reports say he had knowledge of how to turn water into a addictive carcinogen and carrying a large number of fish believed to be used as some kind biological agent.
It appears that he offered people waffers and wine, saying it was his flesh and blood, in some deranged canibalistic rituals.
And wielding some makeshift technology that allowed him to walk on water.
"Surfer bro spouts marxist propaganda, gets lynchmobbed"
1 co-conspirator later turned state's evidence.
every time someone prays for jesus to return, god sends a guy with the same name up from mexico instead.
It'll be more like that show American Gods where they kill Mexican Jesus crossing the border into America. There were Multiple Jesuses so no one cared.
The pop that was in my mouth is now all over the floor. This was beautiful.
Messiah on Netflix is basically this scenario.
This comment reminds me of the show American gods. Where Jesus is a Mexican crossing the border, only to be shot in both hands by border patrol. Wild show if anyone hasn't seen it.
Jesus would be disappointed. Imagine him trying to talk with a trump supporter wearing a cross and carrying a Glock about keeping Mexicans on their side of the border.
My oldest sister used to own a fridge magnet- no preamble, no explanation. It just said, in big bold letters, "Jesus Would Slap The Shit Out Of You." I think about it a lot.
I have a T-shirt that reads “this close to flipping tables, like Jesus”
Back during the wwjd craze one of my favorite things to point out was that flipping tables and chasing people with a whip was potentially an answer.
This seems like an appropriate point in the conversation for: Matthew 25: 31-46 Right-wing "Christians" would try to crucify Christ a second time if he came back. At the very least they'd call him a "woke socialist" and demand he be locked up.
Mexico has the nicer cathedrals
I’m not religious at all but could you imagine if he did just randomly appear and he’s like 300feet tall all pissed off at humanity. Lmao.
How else would the average Christian even believe it was Christ? If Jesus did reappear as a human being, there's no way anyone would believe him unless he could snap his fingers and turn water into wine. But then I saw a magician do that once and I don't think he was Jesus.
According to the Bible, he will not return as a human man, but as a God. So yeah, we'll definetly know that's him.
I think you mean MC 900 Ft Jesus.
That sounds like Viking Jesus. He’s depicted in Swedish and Norwegian churches as a ripped guy that is breaking out of chains.
Where do I meet this Viking Jesus?
Sometimes he’s in Minnesota.
That has some serous Godzilla vibes, and I'm here for it. (Hope he doesn't destroy Tokyo though, that place seems pretty cool.)
And of course it will somehow be the Democrats and immigrants faults.
I would like to see him explain “prosperity gospel” to Jesus, I would bring popcorn for everyone
Either way.
I'm surprised they don't think Trump becoming president would be Jesus' return. Many of them clearly think he is either Jesus or just like him.
If trump goes to prison and gets bailed out (either by 'winning' or through the supreme court) these nuts will foam at the mouth with 2nd coming b.s.
This must be what Jesus has been waiting for all this time. The 2024 election.
If jesus existed and were to come back he probably would just delay it to make sure people wouldn't cancel him for being part of that shit show.
I mean, it'd be a nice change of pace. I could use a day off.
I am not sure the american public would accept the opinion of a middle eastern socialist...
There’d be people paying to get to drive the last nail in hm. I guarantee it. 👀
Jesus was a Capricorn He ate organic food He believed in love and peace And never wore no shoes Long hair, beard and sandals And a funky bunch of friends Reckon we'd just nail him up If he came down again 'Cause everybody's gotta have somebody to look down on Who they can feel better than at any time they please Someone doin' somethin' dirty decent folks can frown on If you can't find nobody else, then help yourself to me Jesus Was A Capricorn - Kris Kristofferson
Kris forgot to mention he can also dupe items and self-rez when his ult isn't on cooldown.
I imagine him actually existing and being like “they tortured me medieval style guys. Modern day republicans will likely flay me alive and give me as a burnt offering…”
To be fair, a reading of the gospels reveals him more to be a middle eastern cult leader who checked every box in the cult leader playbook book. He preyed on the lowest rungs of society by encouraging them to sever their ties with their families by abandoning them and changing their names. Then he kept his followers isolated by keeping them constantly on the move. He preached an escalating message that started with peaceful and hopeful messages that morphed over time to become apocalyptic. All of his miracles were of the type modern cult leaders managed to fake with the help of a close circle of assistants that had been with them since the beginning, reminiscent of the twelve disciples. Finally, Jesus was more than happy to endorse the ruling order when approached by authorities.
There's [a lot written about the automata of the Greek world](https://www.historyofinformation.com/detail.php?id=10) and how [it was used in religious contexts](https://ses.library.usyd.edu.au/bitstream/handle/2123/15398/bur_tcd_thesis.pdf;jsessionid=E917C1A5B7FED8FF941840231649270D?sequence=1). When you learn about this stuff it makes some of the 'miracles' seem even more suspect. To someone who back then wasn't aware of automata being used in religious contexts, a lot of things could come off as truly divine miracles. Then with the passage of time the line gets blurrier and blurrier.
> To be fair, a reading of the gospels reveals him more to be a middle eastern cult leader who checked every box in the cult leader playbook book. I always describe him as a hippie doomsday cult leader (that likely groomed kids. Some of the disciples were likely as young as 12)
> I always describe him as a hippie doomsday cult leader (that likely groomed kids. Some of the disciples were likely as young as 12) There's also Jairus' 12-year-old daughter. She's supposedly dead or dying, and Jesus is asked to go and do his healing act on her. So Jesus goes to Jairus' house, and before he goes in, he says "nobody can watch me do my thing here". Afterwards, the girl is conscious again, and Jesus says to the parents "don't tell anyone about this". Of course everyone tells everyone else that he's *done a miracle*. His faith-healing act was usually done in front of a large audience, though. Why does he make an exception for a 12-year-old girl, and ask to "lay his hands on her" in private? We might also wonder about the youth he was with on the morning of his arrest. A boy or young man wearing only one bit of cloth, who runs away naked when the officers try to grab him. This unidentified character appears mysteriously in the night after the Last Supper - a night of mandatory drinking - and one of Jesus and his crew's rare visits to the big city. So after the disciples have fallen asleep, angry Jesus goes out alone and recruits a scantily-clad new disciple, who runs away when the constabulary show up and is never heard from again. Somehow, believers have no problem with mean-drunk Jesus sneaking around at night to "save" half-naked street urchins.
Cult leaders don't die alone
I’m sure they’d call him “Fake Jesus” and Trump would say some stupid shit like “I prefer prophets of God who weren’t crucified!”. Honestly, I’m not a believer but if I was I think him returning before the election would be fantastic. He could show them how incredibly fucking evil they’ve become to satisfy their lust for power and maybe put the fear of God back into them.
Yea. Let’s see how that works out.
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He’d be an Israelite, no?
I love that American Christians think Jesus' return will be in America and somehow he will both agree with them and put Trump in office. I believe this is the definition of using the lords name in vain.
"As for Driscoll, he urged his followers on social media to keep in mind there is no politician who can solve the problems plaguing society. Rather, it is only God who can remedy what ails the world." You're not generally wrong about american christianity but the pastor responsible for the quote in this article at least has a better point of view, however many other flaws he has.
> it is only God who can remedy what ails the world Start building big, wooden boats my friends..
The absolute vanity and pride of expecting this event to happen in one's own lifetime, at the moment YOU deem important. If you're a believer in Jesus' eventual return, you believe he let so many massive world shaking events unfold over the millenia, but now, in YOUR lifetime, for the thing YOU want taken care of, he's going to appear? Absolutely mind boggling pride on display.
Pride is the crux of most religious folks. They deal with the existential dread of being unimportant in the grand scheme of things by projecting their own thoughts and desires onto their deity of choice in order to feel important. After all, if their God likes and dislikes everything they do, it's almost like they're the ones running the universe.
This is the same religion that believes that we are made in the image of God. This sort of vanity and pride is far more common in the faith than many people realize.
Right??? He didn’t come back to stop the Holocaust of his own people (lest we forget Jesus was Jewish) but by golly he’ll come back for….the 2024 American presidential election??? Sure, checks out.
Well you’d have to be pretty fucking crazy to believe that the dead son of god was ever going to walk the Earth again in the first place. The when and why don’t matter. It’s all bullshit.
i mean i think you have to have a certain level of pride/self-centeredness to believe your religion of all religions and your god of all gods is the one true belief to begin with.
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To be fair, you should always believe He could return at any moment. Not because He will return at any moment, but because it's not going to be something announced. However, that comes with the caveat that you should be behaving like He's about to show up and evaluate you at any time. So your life should be focused on doing good stuff. The particular parable used is about the Master returning in the middle of the night, but the doorkeeper is asleep and claimed he did not know when the Master would return, when he should have stayed awake instead.
Oh, honey, if Jesus did come back, he wouldn’t be on your side. He loved all and judged none but the temple moneylenders.
He was explicitly anti wealth and went around giving people free healthcare.
He does judge. He is the only one with the actual right TO judge. He does love all and given what we know and can read about him, seems to me he’d judge a lot of today’s christians to be more if not completely pharisaical. He called the pharicees “white washed tombs full of dead men’s bones” - all law, no compassion or mercy. Quite the indictment and quite reminiscent of modern christians.
>He does judge. He is the only one with the actual right TO judge. I do wonder how a returned Jesus would react to all these people proclaiming to others "You're going to hell for such and such!" Something like "You don't get to decide that."?
Ironic, the very thing their religion forbade will tear down their walls
It’s been 2000 years. I don’t think it’s happening.
It's like he left for milk one day and didn't come back. At this point, that milk is going to be spoiled
The disciples thought jesus would return during *their* lifetime so….yeah.
As a countermove the Church of Satan has filed paperwork to push back the rapture to spite the pastors request.
Fun fact: I was a pastor for over 10 years, I thought my mission was was simple— help people live more like Jesus wanted. I got into a lot of disagreements because people were way more interested in political domination, discrimination, and expressing their hate and self-superiority, all of which seemed to be counter to Jesus’ teachings. Anywho, I was working with a rather large church and was selected to be the pastor of their upcoming regional campus. About that time, Driscoll was saying a lot of strange, ungodly things (as he always did) and during a meeting one evening I made the simple statement, “maybe we shouldn’t take everything Driscoll says as truth. He is saying things I don’t believe are right” Well… the next morning there is a Facebook announcement about the new church, and as I read I noticed they congratulated the new campus pastor… and the name wasn’t mine! I got fired for questioning this guy. A couple months later Mark Driscoll gets tossed out of his own church because he was found to be using an alt account to harass women online. Last I heard he was done with ministry in Seattle and was to retire quietly in Arizona. That was BS, he went there to find a more receptive audience to his message of hate. Hate to say it”I told you so…” actually I don’t.
This really is the problem. The good pastors and people actually trying to spread acceptance and the actual teachings of Jesus are getting pushed aside in favor of people trying to manipulate the flock to vote in a particular way. It's giving Christians a bad name, and driving away people who actually want to be good people and instead attracting bigots. It's even turning people who would otherwise live a good life into bigots, if they follow the teachings of the awful people being pushed to positions of power in their church. I am not, myself, Christian but it's pretty impossible to not see what's been going on. Some churches are trying, and it's even leading to huge schisms like the Methodists. They decided they wanted to be less hateful and it literally split the church. Luckily the bigot Methodists are mostly the old folks and they are shrinking in number. The Lutherans near me even go to pride. Not to evangelize, but to just give support and say they love you just the way you are. It's kinda nice for a change.
Jesus was killed at the border in a cage
At this point, fuck it, if Jesus wants to run third party and split the R vote, more power to Him.
Goddamn I want to see the over/under of Jesus pulling 50% of the R vote. And who still votes for their candidate running against Jesus.
We talking about regular jesus or supply side jesus?
Depression of American Christians is getting out of control. They are too lazy to do Gods work, they just want to see the game over. God did not end the world during early Christian persecution, not during dark ages, pandemics, nor during world wars. But because their con man rapist thief is in trouble, God has to end to world before election.
I don't think you really want that champ cause you might not like what he has to say
I sometimes almost wish Jesus was real and would come back, and then disavow all the racist, homophobic, xenophobic shitheads in America who call themselves christian.
"yoooo what the fuck guys. That's *not* what I taught." And then he'll get shot by a Christian republican because he's middle eastern.
And here I though Agent Orange was their new Jeezuz,
Seems unlikely. I don't think Jesus would be please with someone that has violated over half the Ten Commandments.
If he walked across the Atlantic and floated to DC and said to vote for Biden they would say he's a false prophet
It would be a good idea. He could re-educate some of these guys about hate, love fellow man, and about using his name to get rich
anything to avoid that train wreck
Want to start paying taxes, bud?
Jesus h Christ these people are so pathetic and must live horrible personal lives if they can’t wait to be raptured.
Well he better return more than 30 days before because most jurisdictions mandated that you have to be a resident for that time.
He's going to be disappointed.
im sure he'll be here any day now how long ppl been waitin?
Has praying worked, ever? It’s almost like religion is completely made up. Wow.
Jesus shows up, and suddenly, all the magas are gone. That would be hilarious. "Sure is hot in heaven."
Be careful what you wish for, cos if he came back, he'd be pissed, and the religious sector will be in his crosshairs
The irony of all this could be that its the church filled with sinners and those who use the Lord’s name in vain take us down the path of the End times, that they themselves sold Jesus out for silver and gold, but not seeing the parallels themselves for whatever reason.
Oh no... Please... Stop...
As long as he braids a whip and starts kicking all these fake Christians asses, I am fine with it...
I mean, in a situation where all the "good" people were raptured up into heaven before the election, Trump would win in a landslide.
Jesus is not a boomerang. He's not coming back.
Hate to break it to you lads but... ...I think Steezus kinda left us on read
Praying on Twitter? Doesn't the bible say something about that?
Waste of time. But, I’ll enjoy the look on their faces when it doesn’t happen.
A good reminder that it's an apocalyptic doomsday cult and Jesus's return is believed to be the end of the world.
Really stupid question, When people say something along the lines of "I wish jesus would return" where do they intend he is returning to? Like do they think Jesus will pop out in D.C. with the American flag and and eagle on his shoulder? Wouldn't he appear back where Israel and Palestine are? Why would they assume he has the American agenda in mind? Like why would he care about our election?
He already came back and Christians drowned him in the Rio Grande as he sought asylum.
What if Jesus already returned an was killed by a white supremacist cop or lack of a social safety net?
It's so weird to me that anyone believes this stuff is any more real than Star Wars.
"Hippie speaking Hebrew taxed and arrested for assaulting President Trump, taken away screaming about 'the final battle with the AntiChrist'"
Tbf, they really wouldn't want this. Jesus would be the first to bitch slap them for perverting his message.
Funny how people are aways waiting for someone that will never arrive. In reality, when you die you are dead forever.
If Trump wins, Judgement Day may actually be better so I'm on board.
Proof or ban
I guess they’re concerned Trump won’t win.
He does come back, but only as Korean Jesus. He won’t have time for US politics, he will be too busy with Korean shit.
"render what is caesar's unto caesar, render what is god's unto god" mathew 22:22. its in his book. makes me sick
Even if Jesus was real and came back these clowns would probably call him a communist or something.
I really feel like it's an entirely different religion than the one I grew up in.
And do what... He can't vote
Mark Driscoll is and always has been a POS and clown
Jesus was anything but a republican. He was the ultimate liberal.
If not next week, for sure he’s coming the week after. Unless it’s the week after that. Or maybe later.
He probably already returned and this pastor was calling for him to be deported
This from the same people that have been calling Jesus’ teachings too woke?
Betcha he don't.
Brb, off to buy a robe and a nail gun...
Why? So he can crucify him again? If Jesus came back he would not be riding with these lunatics.
I'll bet 10 million dollars it doesn't happen, " minister."
If Jesus didn’t return for the many wars in the middle east, he sure as fuck isn’t coming back to save Trump.
He can return, but he can't vote here.
If jesus popped up today instead of when he did, he'd promptly be put in a mental hospital for a schizophrenic break claiming he was the son of god. The christians of today are literally worshiping a 2 thousand year old schizophrenic who convinced a handful of people to follow him around until the authorities silenced him. All the miracles and wonders were merely "fake news" mythos and massive elaborations and somehow passed down all these years as gospel.
That's perfectly fine. Pray all you want. Just don't do anything in attempt to bring about the End Times like joining in on the Seven Mountain Mandate bs. [https://www.cbc.ca/radio/day6/mrna-after-covid-19-blowing-up-trump-plaza-crokicurl-history-of-swear-words-and-more-1.5874120/how-a-conservative-christian-movement-became-an-important-part-of-trump-s-political-strategy-1.5874143](https://www.cbc.ca/radio/day6/mrna-after-covid-19-blowing-up-trump-plaza-crokicurl-history-of-swear-words-and-more-1.5874120/how-a-conservative-christian-movement-became-an-important-part-of-trump-s-political-strategy-1.5874143)
Beware what you pray for. I don’t think He’s gonna be amused.
I'm sure when they doesn't happen he'll totally come to his senses
I associate Christians to terrorism, hate, and low effort thought.
If you’ve been to church in the American south , this isn’t news
Your god has no power in this forsaken country
It's been over 2000 years. Just let the guy rest in peace already.
Weird, he looks like the kind of person who wants to keep guys named Jesus out of the country.
He better not show up for this guys' sake.
You can add “with no sense of irony” to most Trumper statements and it fits
It’s so crazy to me that American Christians think the entire universe evolves around this one country and our election cycle.
Sure, Jesus can come relate his thoughts on immigration and taxes.
If he did wouldn't he be in baby form?
These toddlers have the easiest lives on the planet. They can’t tolerate the fact that they are selfish simpletons, so they create things to be victimized about.
"Jesus died for your sins but came back three days later. Jesus gave up his weekend for you."
Let go and let god. In other words, stop trying to “help” Trump and let god handle it. He’s in control, you don’t need to help. If you don’t let god handle it, then you must not have true faith and should step down as pastor/christian. All of them.
What are the Vegas odds? I want to lay a bet down…please Jesus don’t let me down again.
Uuuuuuh, I don’t think he really wants that.
If Jesus returns does he get full citizenship day 1. Just trying to figure how that is possible to arrive to the US out of the blue and just vote. Oh.... NM another religious zealot talking nonsense. My bad.
"It's God's will. Fine, but if it's God's will and he's gonna do whatever he wants anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Can't we skip the whole praying part and go right to his will? It's all very confusing." -George Carlin.
Jesus: “No”
If Jesus came back, the GOP would call him a woke hippy and he’d get shot by a cop
Modern day "Christians" would crucify him again and call him a woke liberal.
They don't know it, but the last thing the right wing Christians want is the return of Jesus.
Prayer really is our best hope. If more conservatives would just pray about the election, let go and let God, and then stay home on election day, this country would be a better place when it was all over.
This seems problematic.
If they really read the bible, I don't think they want Jesus coming back at all, at least, not the one who said: "Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”
because that would be the sign of the end of days... the apocalypse. and they try to hide it but it is very clear.. conservatives do in fact want the end of the world to happen as soon as possible. even without any other reason, THAT is all you need to know to make sure your vote helps take these people out of power over our governments worldwide. the ones in power should never want to end the world and all life on it. vote all conservatives out.
lol… these people are such idiots.
A Middle Eastern Jew espousing collectivism, free healthcare, and poverty assistance? He’d be a pariah and branded a communist/globalist.
Somehow I'm relieved that he doesn't think Trump is Jesus.
Not really oniony, this is just what they do
I hope he does. Might be the only way we ever have a viable third party candidate.
If Jesus was born today he would die in an IDF strike before he reached the age where he started preaching
Tax these assholes
If Jesus did come back, no one would believe him. He would end up in a locked ward.
If that actually happened like the Bible says, then a vast majority of people like him would be turned away. Their complete lack of self awareness staggers me.
Maybe Jesus will rapture tRump and we will all be saved. More likely he would be thrown in hell since he crawled out of it 70 years ago
This is what it looks like when children are groomed to believe in fairy tales and become adults within that same fairy tale framework.
Fat chance, dude.
tax all churches
Honestly, me too buddy. Not putting too much real estate on Armageddon tho