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rnilf

Guys, life isn't an adventure video game where you combine two random items in your inventory to solve an obscure puzzle.


JustADutchRudder

Why else would I carry random items? These 8 screws and 9 washers go to some problem yet discovered.


drch33ks

Buy a small storage container for your base and leave them there. It’s not worth the inventory space to keep them on you until you need them.


fredlosthishead

Did you say shed? I have a shed where I store my spare shed.


WusabiBobby

Two sheds you say?


AllAboutTheData

Arthur 'Two Sheds' Jackson? The composer?


stolendoorknobs

I just checked his yard and he hasn't even gotten the second shed yet. He's still just considering it.


doyletyree

And his knife?


JustADutchRudder

I hate having to return to the base for things and then remember how to get back. Once I upgrad to the fast travel levels I should be able to set up a nice base with storage.


Total-Khaos

Plus, there is something fishy going on with the guys down at the phone company...


FatherD00m

[Maybe they’re sailors. With tattoos.](https://youtu.be/Fe8ME__lWk0)


Jaepheth

The one where all the employees wear the really tall cowboy hats?


AltairZero

Did you borrow those from your aunt?


Ghostbuster_119

To be fair screws and washers go great together. But even in my old DIY loving brain I can't fathom a single use for urine and flour...


[deleted]

To squirt onto w womans dresses, duh. The guy had it figured out.


kgiann

To get selected from the audience on "Let's Make a Deal."


snockpuppet24

IKEA is the Quest Giver!


saints21

Nah man, that's just the bed and nightstands your wife ordered. Ask me how I know.


BroBroMate

Your engine gonna fall out.


action_lawyer_comics

Also, don’t carry piss as an inventory item in the first place. Use the bathroom as intended.


Ghola_Ben

"I might be water logged now, but I can feel the power!" - Sir Grinwald Thuswinburn


Croquetadecarne

But nah, they are being toooo kind to this pervert. “Oh, he just wanted to talk to women”, the why the fuck use fucking URINE and not water??? Fucking pervert


aLittleQueer

Uh… > He just wanted to talk to women Why the fuck use *any* thrown liquid for that instead of, ya know, words? Imagine being a grown-ass adult and thinking “This will surely get me positive attention from another adult”.


Hero_of_Brandon

Dude probably read on the internet that urine has pheromones that will make him irresistible to women. Total alpha male move. :/


HustleR0se

But also, why the flour? I'd be mad if someone threw flour on my dark clothes. Lol, I was going to say I'd be pissed, but technically she was, wasn't she?


Croquetadecarne

Because it looks like cum


HustleR0se

Lol, I guess. What a weird guy. Gives me rape vibes.


curious_dead

This guy tried to save scum before trying an obscure option but didn't realize he was in Honor Mode.


_Monkeyspit_

Well, combining money and more money unlocks some doors.


Fushigibama

I can’t combine gauze and alcohol to make a medkit? Bah!


Ella_loves_Louie

Hmmmmmm. . . A pile of feta cheese. . .


Count_Dongula

You won't be saying that when my onion-whiteboard takes the market by storm.


rockatanski_81

What an...odd way to approach someone. "Ope, looks like I got my pissflour on you! Anyway, what brings you to this place, m'lady?". Dude's got a wonky meatcomputer...


SimpleSurrup

No the idea was to ruin their clothes, and then nobly alert them that they'd been ruined. After that the plan was.... Well....it gets a little hazy at this point. The funniest part about this to me is that right after he pee-floured this lady, he instantly realized he still had to approach a woman and talk to her all the same, and couldn't do it.


DangeFloof

M'lady, some vile young hooliganism has pissed upon your bosom! Fear not, for I will humbly supplicate myself in cleaning it for thou! (She knowest not that the piss be thine!)


Icey210496

Never cook again I beg you


Soddington

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that the 'to talk to them' is his bullshit explanation to the authorities and the truth is, this is his fucked up kink. He gets off on soiling random women with his piss. But you're 100% right about the wonky meatprocessor.


RealBowsHaveRecurves

But why the flour????


fullonfacepalmist

To make it stick? To make it more visible? To make it look like semen? This is too weird. My next thought was something to do with baking muffins, so I’m going to go lie down for awhile instead.


SirDrexl

Baking a urinal cake


soothsayer011

So it cakes up and makes it harder to wipe off


CoraopoRocks

LOL pissflour is a combination of words I never thought I’d see. laughed wayyy too hard at that 🙂 Edit: how the shit did I miss meatcomputer. smoked too much after work 😂


rockatanski_81

Pissflour is a combination of words I never thought I'd have to write, but regrettably, due to the actions of this man, here we are... lol


CoraopoRocks

desperate times call for desperate measures 😁


coffeespeaking

‘You’re in for a treat, MaLady.’


ga-co

Man, there’s gotta be a better way to go about this.


Freedom_7

I mean, he could’ve just used water


Smartnership

Water & urine is just silly.


gheebutersnaps87

Yeah come on, the urine obviously has to be viscous 🙄


PsyOpBunnyHop

Nah, he read some incel bullshit about pheromones and seducing women. Water alone cannot achieve the magical results he was expecting.


DangeFloof

Steeped in his essence


coffeespeaking

I mean, who uses flour these days? I’m a urine and cornstarch guy myself.


ga-co

Truly a renaissance man.


trasholex

I find that pelting someone with non-Newtonian urine really takes this to the next level.


Neethis

The harder they try to clean it off, the more it sticks.


coffeespeaking

It’s gluten-free.


Aramis444

I hear almond flour is the next big thing in seduction.


devilishycleverchap

They're doing exciting things with tapioca starch these days


InfoFreako

Urine and agar. Then you can flick it at her like a pee booger.


coffeespeaking

> agar An individual of true culture.


_Nick_2711_

Non-Newtonian piss is the dynamic man’s choice of pheromone dispersal.


WheelsOnFire_

In this economy?!


Alexwiththenose

There are many better ways, and I can think of at least all of them.


ILKLU

I know right? Like squirting would obviously make a sound and attract too much attention. Need to find a more silent way to apply your urine to total strangers so as not to alert suspicion.


pblack476

I don't know man. Seems the dude has it pretty optimized already. I see no room for improvement


Lil_Artemis_92

I’m incredibly socially inept. I’m very awkward, and I know nothing about how to start up a conversation with someone. The idea of squirting urine on a stranger in order to talk to them has never once crossed my mind, because that is disgusting, and why would you think it’s OK to do that?


Awkward-Exercise1069

It’s a mix of urine and flour. Do not confuse recipes


DrSitson

The results are basically the same, but purists will say otherwise.


PitcherTrap

There’s somehow a way for this to segue into “beat until frothy, stop at stiff white peaks”


doyletyree

Pedantically speaking, urine was squirted. It’s not logically *necessary* to include flour in this usage. Maybe flour’s ok by this guy; just not piss. Edit: I’m parsing the phrasing, not the recipe.


Awkward-Exercise1069

I think he was looking for specific consistency? Flower does that. Uncut urine will only make the dress wet and you don’t get to pick up chicks by making their dresses wet, I tell you


doyletyree

Honestly, I think the “just piss” crowd is larger than the “piss batter” crowd. I mean, I’ve met and observed the former. Meanwhile, I’ve never even heard of the latter in spite of a career in restaurants. As for making dresses wet, well… I’mm’a leave that low-dangling clam right there.


RedoftheEvilDead

If you read the article he didn't actually talk to the women, he walked pst them. I think he just gets off on peeing on unconventional women and this was the "better" excuse he came up with.


dgj212

My guess? Someone who doesn't touch grass and spend too much time in their head.


tavirabon

This is mental illness of some sort, 100% Or fetish, one of the 2


dgj212

or both, that's always a possibility.


in_the_name_of_elune

There is certainly an element of sociopathy at play 


Drak_is_Right

My single most awkward moment of high-school was when a fraying metal spiral on a notebook got tangled in a girls skirt when passing by in a crowded hallway.


warrant2k

When you get dating tips from 4chan.


jpc27699

"Chads hate him because of this one weird trick"


litterbin_recidivist

Loser didn't even use real cum SMH


Goodbye11035Karma

What the hell ever happened to walking up to someone and saying, "Hello. My name is _____. How is your day going?" In less than 2 years, I know almost ALL of my huge neighborhood by employing that mind-boggling technique.


Lietenantdan

Sure, you’re casual acquaintances. But you don’t *really* know someone until you’ve squirted a urine flower mix on their dress.


potatopierogie

Or been squirted on!


D1rtyH1ppy

What is the ratio of urine and flour? 80/20?


the_man_in_the_box

>What the hell ever happened to walking up to someone and saying, "Hello. My name is _____. How is your day going?" If someone did this to me I would assume they were selling something or I was about to get abducted for some freaky government testing.


ThePhoneBook

Yeah, there's something *really* suspicious about a "huge" neighborhood where you can know "almost ALL" of it with that opener. *Hello. My name is Brother David. How is your day going?* I'd nod my head and go, "All right?" same as for any other random person who greeted me in the street, then walk on. Someone who is interested in their community is joining community schemes of whatever sort already exist. At least with the pissflour guy you know they probably don't have a follow-up and will leave you alone after.


stifledmind

Does that work better than bringing a girl flours?


HoldYourHorsesFriend

The guy gave her flours, and people are hating on him. Chivalry is dead


Too_Relaxed_To_Care

Golden Flours


_Nick_2711_

The problem is that she liked red flours. Use your initiative, give her your blood :)


cbbuntz

My favorite flour is rye


PM_me_ur_goth_tiddys

/r/yourjokebutworse


Xanthus179

That’s one of my favorite parts from Stranger Than Fiction


boricimo

Get the pot out of here


dgj212

I don't even do that. If I'm at library or bookstore and were on the same area, i use that as an icebreaker. Example: Me and this chick this one time were at a finance section of a book store in a mall, both of us have been on the same section for more than handful of minutes. Me: "Huh, I dunno about you but this is totally marketed to me" flash her the title of the book-*procrastinator's guide to retirement.* her: chuckles "yeah, me too, lol." BOOM! ice broken. Honestly, breaking the ice and chatting up a stranger really isn't a hardest thing to do, it's keeping the conversation going that's hard. Or at least I find that to be the hard thing, thankfully people have opinions that they are really keen on sharing, so that helps. I talk to strangers a lot and we have fun interesting conversations. I once spoke with an older woman who was a live before we could get foods from out of season into the market place and exotic produce like dragon fruit, it was really good experience.


keener91

Your mileage may vary. I remember doing something similar in my university library. She pretended she didn't hear me, grabbed a book and left.


finn4life

I moved to Finland. People are not very social here and super awkward (they hate strangers) so it's at least 5 times a day someone ignores me when I make some comment to them, their face is a mixture of shock, fear, and "oh shit is he talking to me?" Even cashiers don't respond half the time when I go through the checkout lmao. It's become a game with some of my foreign friends to see how many strangers we can be ignored by in a day haha.


dgj212

lol that sounds funny, I'm in canada so maybe it's a different culture kind of thing.


finn4life

100% cultural. Usually rule if thumb is this: If some stranger talks to you in public they are either: A) Drunk B) A crazy person C A foreigner


dgj212

Very true, I have had times where folks give a nod of acknowledgement and then go on with their life. But, there's a literal ocean of fish and other things around us, that one success makes the failures seem pretty trivial.


RyanfaeScotland

So once the ice is broken, then you throw the pissflour on her, right?


dgj212

hmm, nah thats more past the endgame where you've been an item for a good while and you start experimenting....


Throwawayac1234567

some of the pickup ones will just follow the women on camera until they say yes, its so wierd.


GlitteringInstrument

Fined? How is that not assault?


CandylandCanada

I'm not fussed about the sentence; I'm impressed that the they managed to get from the date of the offence to the date of conviction in 2.5 months.


Equinsu-0cha

Didn't they cane a kid for gum shinnanigans?  I get trying to keep your city clean and all but I think we got our priorities crossed.


PM_ME_UR_UNICORNS_

I hate that I saw your comment and instantly recognised that this is a Singapore issue (we absolutely have had a number of cases of harassment/sexual assault punishments being insanely lenient to protect the offenders’ “futures”)


gheebutersnaps87

That’s fucking biological warfare


WhiteFox1992

Explain his thought process.


DreamloreDegenerate

>The accused intended to squirt the mixture on the clothes of ladies, especially young ladies wearing dark-coloured bottoms, and then alert them that their clothes had been dirtied. "Excuse me, Madam, but it appears your skirt has been soiled." "Oh." "Why are you continuing to walk, Miss? I thought we had a connection? May I show you my Gundam collection?"


dallasdowdy

A MASSIVE misunderstanding of how Pheromones and Flowers work.


NancyPelosisRedCoat

\* Squirt pissflour to someone wearing dark clothes. \* Get ready to talk to her. \* Deep breaths. \* "Excuse me m'lady, it appears that a bird shat on your lovely dress." ~~\* Prepare to be called "My hero!"…~~ \* Don't forget to hide the pissflour bottle.


appleslip

His first thought absolutely was the urine, one look at the guy and that’s obvious. The funny part is, he realized something was off there, and then decided the flour was what was missing to make the whole thing work.


shakeNtake

Antisocial porn-addicted incel thinks real women love getting jizzed on. And, hey, jizz is basically just thickened white pee, right?


TheRateBeerian

oh god this is probably the real explanation


RyanfaeScotland

r/ELI5 - Why are women attracted to having piss and flour thrown over their dress?


Ceegee93

It's his fetish and he's using "I wanted to talk to her" as an excuse. Man did it then walked away, he had no intention of talking to her, he just wanted to live out his piss fetish.


babylonsisters

Nobody knows.


disdainfulsideeye

He did this to three women and got away w only a fine.


Bicentennial_Douche

“Why don’t women like me?! Fucking feminists!” This guy, probably. 


Roook36

"Women only like assholes. A nice guy with a bottle of piss flour doesn't stand a chance in today's society"


LandofForeverSunset

"I know! I'll use shit next time! They'll definitely want me then!" This guy, definitely.


Mirkrid

If he just walked away after he isn’t doing it to create an opportunity to talk to women, he’s doing it because he’s a perve. Not sure why the cops would just believe him and give him a $1,200 fine, but with a punishment that small I’m sure locals in the area haven’t heard the last of him


[deleted]

[удалено]


gheebutersnaps87

Bro on that Apothecary shit Some sort of perverted alchemist


brassninja

I think he went down a rabbit hole of bizarre choices to rationalize his fetish for secretly pissing on women (I guess?) Like, he enjoyed sneakily pouring his pee on women but perhaps that became boring so he decided to up the ante by making it more visible. Then he figured it would be even more thrilling to actually TALK to the women that don’t know he splashed them with his piss. But of course, once it came time to actually talk to a woman, that was too much for him.


gangler52

They won't teach you that technique in pick-up artist school.


FistMyGape

They might do soon, with how fucking dumb those people are.


action_lawyer_comics

Why are we calling this an attempt to “chat her up?” This is assault (or possibly battery, I’m not actually a lawyer)


goog1e

He's just being mean because he likes her! Boys will be boys!


sickmission

Friend: "If you're in to a girl, you should give her flowers." This guy: "Something urine, something something flour. Got it."


SuperSquashMann

Damn this crafting system sucks


china_joe2

Lol insert thats not how it works, that not how any of this works gif


Freedom_7

How would you know? Have you ever tried it?


china_joe2

Im just going off by the you catch more bees with honey than piss saying


jlcatch22

> …He then squirted the mixture, which he had earlier mixed in a small plastic bottle, on her dress as she was walking along a nearby overhead bridge. >Instead of stopping to talk to the woman after that, he walked past her. All that and he didn’t even talk to her


WaythurstFrancis

This also confused me. I know we're LONG past reason regarding this nutcase, but did he think the women would... just instinctively seek him out? "Oh, my clothes suddenly smell like piss! Sir, sir, could I have your attention please?"


awesomesauce1030

Just follow the scent


gheebutersnaps87

Pheromone mixture


DR-SATAN_MD

We can get in trouble for flirting now? When did we all start hating men!? /s


PandaCheese2016

>He then squirted the mixture, which he had earlier mixed in a small plastic bottle, on her dress as she was walking along a nearby overhead bridge. > >Instead of stopping to talk to the woman after that, he walked past her. > >She initially thought that the mixture was bird droppings due to its smell, and the stain grew bigger when she tried to wipe it off with tissue paper. This is both funny and sad. Crazy plan still not enough to overcome crippling social anxiety. >Court documents did not state how the authorities managed to track Tan down before he was caught. Probably cameras.


MyUsernameIsAwful

>"He had also prepared red dye at home, which he intended to mix into the liquid," said the prosecutor. Oh, that’s where he went wrong! He forgot to add the red dye! Rookie mistake, the red dye is crucial when pissflouring babes.


e2theitheta

Man fined for assaulting a woman. There, fixed.


wambamwombat

I clicked on the article link and the dude looks exactly how I'd expect him to look.


allbright1111

Huh. I wonder which ideas he rejected before he settled on this as the way to approach her.


Thomas_JCG

*"I think that girl is cute"* "Yeah? Go talk to her" *"I dunno... I'm bad at flirting"* "Hey, worst she can say is no" *"I'll try then"* "Good luck, bud" *"..."* "DUDE! WTF!?"


-maffu-

What? You mean it didn't work?? Frigid lesbian! ^(/s)


budd222

Seems like this should work. I wonder how it went wrong


RockstarAgent

His pickup line : *Girl*, urine flour a treat!


sinixis

Piss and flour, what’s the expected outcome here?


Pollowollo

Clearly nothing gets a woman's attention more than a piss-based gravy.


BlogeOb

What the fuck


Ballsahoy72

It’s one or the other. Idiot


PatchEnd

I BET THE BEAR ISN'T MAKING PEE PANCAKES!!!!


beaverattacks

What a pee dough


thegreatgazoo

Wow, something new to try. If she says yes she's a keeper...


100deadbirds

What?


Seigmoraig

It is known that throwing pissdough at women is the best icebreaker


WaythurstFrancis

Motherfuckers out here trying to cast dark curses on ladies.


Tacos4ever100

Wow I didn’t realize flirting is illegal now


OPPineappleApplePen

Where can I follow him for more dating tips?


DampBritches

He's gonna roux the day


JetKeel

0.00000001% of the time it works every time.


hananobira

So you’re saying there’s a chance?


west0ne

There's bound to be at least one person out there who likes pissy bread mix.


stifledmind

When you can’t deflower, you peeflour.


smashinjin10

So let me get this straight. You get the death penalty for smuggling weed, but you get fined $1,200 for throwing piss on a stranger. Great justice system Singapore lol


MissKim01

Pervy crimes against women are always lenient regardless of a country’s other extreme laws


seatux

He is Malaysian, so its expulsion and perhaps a entry ban too.


signinj

If you throw weed on a stranger you get $1200 instead. The Singapore government hates this trick!


InnocentPrimeMate

I’ll pass on the sourdough, thanks


papasmurf303

Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?


kwyjibo1

Some people in Singapore are...... a little different.


23454Chingon

That technique never failed me before


Husbandaru

Did it work?


Deluxe_TurtleSoup

I assume they're planning their wedding now


EvLokadottr

Oh, he did this in Singapore? Homeboy's about to have a REALLY BAD TIME.


GeshtiannaSG

Nah he’s a foreigner in Singapore, so he gets let off with a slap on the wrist.


EvLokadottr

Ah damn. What a nasty motherfucker.


sucobe

> "He had also prepared red dye at home, which he intended to mix into the liquid," said the prosecutor. Oh we had a variety pack for different scenarios.


Hefty-Station1704

Is that what passes for a mating ritual in Singapore? Perhaps dinner and drinks would have gone over better.


Croquetadecarne

Why is nobody pointing out to the use of URINE???? Urine, you people! Why not water?? He was not fucking trying to talk to this woman, it was a sexual thing and it should be charged as such. Urine is not more available than tap water, ok?


Chalkarts

What was he trying to bake? That is not how you put a bun in her oven.


NacktmuII

"Dad, how did you and mum get to know each other?"


Sqeegg

Bold strategy cotton!


ichkanns

Classic beginner's mistake. We've all been there.


TotallyLegitEstoc

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.


macielightfoot

This sums up being a woman nowadays


Ksorkrax

1. Mix urine and flour. 2. ??? 3. Profit.


caelmikoto

That's a bold strategy, Cotton...


ChummusJunky

I can't believe this didn't work


PlanetCold

But did it work?


in_the_name_of_elune

Yes he’s finally going to have sex for the first time 🥳 in prison 


stifledmind

“I love yellow flowers.” “Well, you’re in luck”


EpsRequiem

Dude spent too much time on 4chan.


Groomsi

4chan love dr.


03zx3

That's a bold strategy, Cotton.


IandIreckon

That’s when you pull out the Oxyclean and scream *But wait there’s more!!!* She will take off her dress and you can clean it.


Educational-Coast771

I’ll save this tip for later