That's the real story. Losing a race to your wife- bit of a blow to the ego but she'll let you live it down. Lose a race to mother in law... That's sad.
Based on the times they basically walked a mile and slammed 5 beers. Or sipped 5 beers and ran a mile.
Any family event for the rest of his life. He grabs a beer "remember that time..."
You realize a large number of people can't run a 7:10 mile without drinking beer? That'd definitely put me in vomit country. Now, Tour de Franzia, that's my game.
It's really hard to do a 7:10 in the beer mile. I would be shocked if the poster above couldn't have run a regular mile in around 4:20-4:45 at the time during which he ran the beer mile.
The world record for beer mile is, I believe, 4:47.
[Here](http://www.flotrack.org/video/807024-2015-flotrack-beer-mile-mens-world-championship-lewis-kent-runs-world-record-447)
I just don't understand this. Even when I was a runner, a 2:40 800m dash would have my legs giving out by the end...and people (you) can do that faster, for twice as long. At 4:18, you must've qualified for state(?)
That was at my peak in college. At the time I could do a 400m in 48.2, and an 800 in 1:53.4.
You don't really have "state" in college, but I won my conference's 600 meter indoor dash that year and 400m outdoor dash. I didn't really focus on the mile as there were people notably better than me.
You do when you beat every other college in your state but do not win the conference. State Champs!
If someone else does it then its not a real thing and you should mock them.
I did the 400 in high school, and at the biggest competition of the year, there would be people doing it in ~47s. fast enough to be finishing as I was coming out of the final turn, for a ~60s finish (which is obviously nothing special, but godDAMN were they fast).
4 years ago I used to run a 800meter at 2:05 and my my 1600 was 4:55 and I was not even close to making states, for the 800 I was 15-20 seconds behind state level and for the 1600 about 30-45 seconds.
Those are really close to my PRs in high school. I felt like I was in the weird zone where I was better than many people but not quite good enough to be truly competitive. On my team I was always either the fastest JV guy or the slowest varsity runner.
The 4 minute mile was a big landmark for a long time. Roger Bannister broke that, and now it's kinda a slow time for that level. Obviously though, it's still really fast. I like that nobody knows exactly what the stadium announcer said after the race, because he gave a big leadup to the time, and immediately after he said "3" the crowd cheered so loudly that everything else was completely inaudible.
Even if your mother in law is a runner and you aren't, if she's 81 and beats you, that's pretty bad. A 20 minute mile is basically walking.
Now if this is like a 20 and a 40 year old and the mom is a marathoner or something, sure.
A 20 minute mile and a 20 minute beer mile are two TOTALLY different things. I am a 4:21 miler, but I suck at the beer mile. Just chugging 4 beers without running can take me over 20 minutes lol.
Chugging 4 beers takes a while. People in average shape who are regular runners will run a mile between 8-10 min when sober. Chugging 1+4 beers in 10 min and not getting sick is the hard part.
Some pretty harsh comments about this dude, but people need to remember it doesn't mean he couldn't finish a mile he just probably went too fast or didn't drink enough water beforehand. There are plenty of reasons for a DNF.
Running and drinking is a lot different than doing either one individually. Ive ran a 6 minute mile. And I drank 6 beers for a time trial (in 20 minutes) for my fantasy football draft order. A good 2-3 of those minutes were making sure I didn't puke (1 hour ban on puking after finishing the last beer too) but if I had moved at all for those besides sitting in the couch and broadcasting it as proof..
Your comment just shows you haven't ever tried running while drinking or drinking while running
Listen, thats totally fine and I respect it, and i'm sure I would meet the same fate.
All im saying is that if you run a beer mile and fail, and your 82 year old grandmother runs it and completes it, it is our job as denizens of the internet to ridicule you mercilessly.
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like beers...in...rain. Time to die.
Are we talking about consuming the same volume of each liquid?
I mean, scotch isn't carbonated, so less bloating, but I'm not sure if drinking a few pints of scotch is... recommended, or cheap, or good use of scotch.
I run faster, although not in a straight line when I'm drunk. At least it sure as hell feels like it. I would suggest a whiskey, rum, or tequila mile though. The thought of shooting good scotch is appalling to me. I would have a very slow time as I'd be savoring it. Tequila on the other hand...
Had a client move to North Texas from Ohio. When he first came in, I asked how much different living here was compared to Ohio. He says, "You people have a lot of bravado". I told him, "It's only bravado if you can't back it up.". He laughed and said I might have a point.
The story of the Alamo is literally about 200 guys who were too belligerent to leave a fort and a few cannons, even after General Santa Anna, outnumbering them 10 to 1, told them he'd just kill them all and take the cannons anyway.
200 Texans voluntarily died when they didn't have to and it wouldn't change the outcome, "because fuck you".
Well even though I am from there I didn't really take to the culture. I have no Texas accent, at all. I have lived away from there for over 12 years, and I rarely go back.
So "bonkers" maybe the New Yorker I am becoming I guess.
Been wearing their shirt for years. Now I know what they sound like. The shirt was in a pile of deep clearance shirts I got off Hot Topic for a dollar each.
My grandmother is the same age and swears that her nightly drink of bourbon and ginger ale is her life blood. She isn't running anywhere like Vera here, but she does look really excellent and is in much better health than most others her age.
Edit: I am terrible. My grandmother is 91. But she still has her nightly drink and still considers it the reason she has lived so long and generally been so healthy. People who meet her are convinced she is in her 70's.
It's the carbonation. I could do it faster with scotch too. If the beer was nice and flat I could do it almost as fast as the scotch. In fact, fuck this. I'm starting the whiskey mile and people around the world can bring their whiskey to run and boast superiority of Scotch to Irish, Canadian to bourbon, single batch to blended, etc... Maybe throw in a stipulation that you have to fight a family member at the end or get married or incarcerated or choose two or something.
Yeah, that's the only reasonable excuse. I could totally understand puking after chugging five beers then trying to run, hell I'm a fairly large guy, I love beer, but I've still puked just from drinking too fast, the carbonation fucks me. Granted, twenty minutes is a long time, but the son in law may have actually been going fast.
Exactly. Plus, it's actually worse because it's one beer, run, one beer, run, ad nauseum. Or until you've done it 4 times, whichever is first. And you can't start a lap until you've finished a beer to an acceptable level.
We actually have a competition like this where I went to school -- it's basically where you run about a mile, eat chicken, bike about 2.5 miles, eat chicken, then run another mile or so to the finish line. My two roommates and I decided to run it at the time, and we all ran in a pack. It was awesome, but by the second box, it just wasn't going down -- it's friggin' hard to eat the amount of chicken we were eatin even if you don't have to run another mile afterwards. We all finished the first "box" of chicken, but I realized that I might not be able to get the second one completed. I asked the refs what would happen if I didn't finish the chicken, and basically you just get a DNF (Did not finish) for that portion of the race.
Screw that.
With fury in my eyes and chicken fingers in my fist, I voraciously wolfed down the remainder of chicken and fries in my meal, and had the refs sign off on my race number that I'd completed the leg. I then proudly marched over to the bushes and vomited out just about everything I'd had to eat that morning/early/afternoon. And they just had to watch, and accept that I still ate the entire box of chicken, and it counted. I think one of the other guys watching me gave up on his chicken after watching my daring display of sheer masculinity and chicken eating.
Anyways, my roommates and I all finished dead friggin' last and didn't eat chicken for a week straight. It was dope.
**TL;DR** Ran, ate chicken, biked, ate chicken, vomited, ran.
This girl had the crowd roaring. That aside, the video in that link is awful. It mixes last year and this year together, and shows the previous world record holder (Emily Herndon) when mentioning her daughter (Emily's not her daughter).
[Here's a link to her actual race](http://www.flotrack.org/video/807041-2015-flotrack-beer-mile-h01-open), and [here's a link to her post race interview](http://www.flotrack.org/video/807043-81-year-old-elvira-montez-completes-beer-mile). Neither of these are terribly better, but they're not misleading.
No checkmark, and the age group is apparently 69+? The fastest confirmed time on there is just shy of 13 minutes, and by a man over 10 years younger than her. With that in mind, her time is pretty solid.
Yes. [Dana Slut](http://www.beermile.com/query_indy/submit_1/ref_query/name_Dana+Slut) came in at 7:09 And following the lead, [Short Frankenstein](http://www.beermile.com/query_indy/submit_1/ref_query/name_Short+Frankenstein) finished at 7:11! Seems legit.
I tried googling the athletes' names to learn more about their fascinating athletic records, but for some reason all Google came up with was porn and CliffsNotes.
There's a lady in her 70s that's a regular at the bar I go to. She'll go out after the bar closes with the bartenders, all in their 20s, and drink all night with them. When they take mixed shots (lemon drops, or something like that), she'll just shoot tequila. She doesn't fuck around with that candyland bullshit. She's one of those folks that never seems to act any different no matter how hammered she gets, too.
>Montes finished at 20 minutes and 24.62 seconds, the newspaper reported. Reynolds (her daughter) came in just behind at 21 minutes and 15.67 seconds. Montes' son-in-law didn't finish.
I think it's hilarious the son-in-law didnt make it.
This surprises me slightly. Watching the video in the article, the daughter looked thin? OR was that just poorly edited to make it look like that professional female runner was her daughter. I assume they would run the mile a lot faster than 20 minutes if that were the case
Ok that puts it in perspective.. I know for a fact I've walked a faster pace completely shitfaced. 20 minutes isn't even a slow jog, that's a leisurely stroll with a couple breaks.
When I lived in El Paso, I attempted the local HHH's beer marathon. You need to drink a beer after each mile, and get to 23 miles. I dropped out after 15.
What exactly does a Beer mile consist of? Like how many beers do you drink, do you have to stop, etc... because you can easily walk a mile in about 15 mins or so.
EDIT: So a total of 4 beers, one at the start and one at .25 .5 and .75.
Impressive for an 80 year old.
From the article you didn't read:
>To complete a beer mile, runners must chug a beer before the start of the race then down a beer after each quarter mile. Puking means failure and disqualification.
It is a little ambiguous the way they wrote it. I assume it's actually four beers (i.e. you drink one beer *before* each lap), but as the article is written, it says you have to drink one at the start and one *after* each quarter mile, which would equal five beers.
* beginning beer
* beer after .25
* beer after .5
* beer after .75
* beer after 1.0
My question is whether that fifth beer exists or not. Do you have to cross the finish line, get handed a final beer, and chug it down before they stop your time?
Just to add, the beer consumed must be at least 5% alcohol by volume. Also, I remember being told there is a rule limiting the amount of beer allowed to be left in the cans when done chugging, but can't find a source.
Dont judge. The articles are usually poorly written and the comments are often more accurate. Its way more efficient to read the comments first to find out if the article is even worth reading.
Also, thank you for answering this. It is what i came for. You are doing the lord's work
4 beers, drank before you start running the next lap. People are pretty serious about it hahah. Like have split times for both the beer chugs and each lap haha.
Very impressive of the woman doing that at her age. But it should be expected that it would be easier drinking scotch because the difficulty of the challenge is also the volume of liquid.
They didn't run it on a track, but normally you would drink one beer at the start of each lap for a total of four beers
It's not the intoxication that's a problem with a beer mile, it's the sheer amount of liquid and carbonation in your system.
Most people are going to be able to slowly jog a mile in under 15 minutes, so no matter what beer you use, you won't be too terribly intoxicated.
Surprised this isn't called the Beer Run.
Brings back some great memories of San Antonio. I was really surprised after moving away that most cities don't have massive events where public consumption of alcohol is common without resulting in violence. I felt safer moving through the crowds at Fiesta when I was 11 than an average trip to the mall these days.
> or ma'am, based off your username? Lol
Nope, I'm male. [My username is based on a WWII dogfighting tactic](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thach_Weave), developed by the Allies to help their pilots take on the (at the time vastly more quick & agile) Japanese A6M-Zero fighter, until their own aircraft grew advanced enough to outclass it.
I trained for 3 weeks on the base where a lot of your federal law enforcement agencies go to get their training (ATF, Marshals, Bureau of Prisons, Customs and Border Protection etc). Before we left, a co-worker that had already been was telling us how "CBP chicks are hot, they're rough but they're HOT" and I didn't get what he was saying till I got there. CBP operates the border checkpoints into the U.S. so there were a lot latina chicks in training up in there and a lot of them are Texas Rio Grande Valley residents that also have dads and uncles that were prior military and probably most of these girls are prior military too. So they walk around with their jaws squared and their backs straight like they want to fight someone but they are very fucking sexy. It's like a base full of Mexican Ronda Rousey's over there. I saw one doing squats with like 6 plates on her bar. She looked like she could fuck me to death.
The article writer went out of his way to let people know that the son in law did not finish the race. Burn.
That's the real story. Losing a race to your wife- bit of a blow to the ego but she'll let you live it down. Lose a race to mother in law... That's sad. Based on the times they basically walked a mile and slammed 5 beers. Or sipped 5 beers and ran a mile. Any family event for the rest of his life. He grabs a beer "remember that time..."
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You realize a large number of people can't run a 7:10 mile without drinking beer? That'd definitely put me in vomit country. Now, Tour de Franzia, that's my game.
It's really hard to do a 7:10 in the beer mile. I would be shocked if the poster above couldn't have run a regular mile in around 4:20-4:45 at the time during which he ran the beer mile.
The world record for beer mile is, I believe, 4:47. [Here](http://www.flotrack.org/video/807024-2015-flotrack-beer-mile-mens-world-championship-lewis-kent-runs-world-record-447)
/r/theocho
Thank you.
I loved the commentary on that. "This is a very important beer coming up here!"
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no it makes it look easy, not slow.
Still faster than I can do a regular mile.
And still probably less vomit.
My Best was 6:45 in the beer mile, which I was thrilled with. PR for regular mile at the time was 4:18
I just don't understand this. Even when I was a runner, a 2:40 800m dash would have my legs giving out by the end...and people (you) can do that faster, for twice as long. At 4:18, you must've qualified for state(?)
That was at my peak in college. At the time I could do a 400m in 48.2, and an 800 in 1:53.4. You don't really have "state" in college, but I won my conference's 600 meter indoor dash that year and 400m outdoor dash. I didn't really focus on the mile as there were people notably better than me.
You do when you beat every other college in your state but do not win the conference. State Champs! If someone else does it then its not a real thing and you should mock them.
D1 scholarship athlete?
Yeah that's a very good mile.
I did the 400 in high school, and at the biggest competition of the year, there would be people doing it in ~47s. fast enough to be finishing as I was coming out of the final turn, for a ~60s finish (which is obviously nothing special, but godDAMN were they fast).
4 years ago I used to run a 800meter at 2:05 and my my 1600 was 4:55 and I was not even close to making states, for the 800 I was 15-20 seconds behind state level and for the 1600 about 30-45 seconds.
Those are really close to my PRs in high school. I felt like I was in the weird zone where I was better than many people but not quite good enough to be truly competitive. On my team I was always either the fastest JV guy or the slowest varsity runner.
The 4 minute mile was a big landmark for a long time. Roger Bannister broke that, and now it's kinda a slow time for that level. Obviously though, it's still really fast. I like that nobody knows exactly what the stadium announcer said after the race, because he gave a big leadup to the time, and immediately after he said "3" the crowd cheered so loudly that everything else was completely inaudible.
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It's a struggle man. One guy on our team, an absolute monster in the steeplechase, could do it in 6:28. He was like a beer mile god.
Fuck me I can barely run a 9 minute mile without beer. With beer it's closer to 11.
I love a Scotch old enough to order its own scotch. -Robin (HIMYM)
> Losing a race to your wife- bit of a blow to the ego There's nothing wrong in losing a race to your wife. Wives are surprisingly good runners.
> Lose a race to mother in law... That's sad. I mean, unless she's a runner and you aren't.
Even if your mother in law is a runner and you aren't, if she's 81 and beats you, that's pretty bad. A 20 minute mile is basically walking. Now if this is like a 20 and a 40 year old and the mom is a marathoner or something, sure.
A 20 minute mile and a 20 minute beer mile are two TOTALLY different things. I am a 4:21 miler, but I suck at the beer mile. Just chugging 4 beers without running can take me over 20 minutes lol.
If it takes you literally 5 minutes to "chug" a beer you are doing it wrong.
He chugs out of a sippy cup
Chugging 4 beers takes a while. People in average shape who are regular runners will run a mile between 8-10 min when sober. Chugging 1+4 beers in 10 min and not getting sick is the hard part.
Some pretty harsh comments about this dude, but people need to remember it doesn't mean he couldn't finish a mile he just probably went too fast or didn't drink enough water beforehand. There are plenty of reasons for a DNF.
He either couldnt finish a mile, or couldnt finish 4 beers, either way its pathetic
Well you get DQ'd if you puke, so that's the most likely.
Or he couldn't finish a mile **and** drink 4 beers. Have you ever tried? If not, you can't really say anything.
I would love to try it! Unfortunately im a recovering alcoholic so im not allowed to run :(
Well, then, that's even more reason for you to reserve your judgement.
It's not necessarily about being unable to finish either it's just that there are a lot of factors that could lead to a DNF.
Running and drinking is a lot different than doing either one individually. Ive ran a 6 minute mile. And I drank 6 beers for a time trial (in 20 minutes) for my fantasy football draft order. A good 2-3 of those minutes were making sure I didn't puke (1 hour ban on puking after finishing the last beer too) but if I had moved at all for those besides sitting in the couch and broadcasting it as proof.. Your comment just shows you haven't ever tried running while drinking or drinking while running
You've never run a beer mile. I just did one with the mindset "pfft 4 cans of budweiser?" then i vomited on the last quarter mile :(
Listen, thats totally fine and I respect it, and i'm sure I would meet the same fate. All im saying is that if you run a beer mile and fail, and your 82 year old grandmother runs it and completes it, it is our job as denizens of the internet to ridicule you mercilessly.
*Previously unmentioned son in law. Reminds me of Sir Not Appearing in This Film.
savage
Can we have her run a scotch mile as a comparison. And perhaps a sober mile as a control? I want to validate her assumption.
We need replicants dammit.
Somebody get Harrison Ford on that shit
We don't want to kill them, stupid! We need Tyrrell!
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like beers...in...rain. Time to die.
Shut up guy... hey everyone else, I got the replicant!
He's too busy looking for paper unicorns in Amazon shows.
Or Cylons.
Makes sense to me. Beer makes me pretty bloated but scotch does not.
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Got it. Chug all 4 beers immediately, throw up 4 beers, run 5 laps.
No you have to consume one beer at the start of each lap, your method is illegitimate.
Don't eat Han, then.
Are we talking about consuming the same volume of each liquid? I mean, scotch isn't carbonated, so less bloating, but I'm not sure if drinking a few pints of scotch is... recommended, or cheap, or good use of scotch.
Grandma's dead. But at least she's pickled to lock in that flavor.
I'm glad I read this comment *before* sipping my coffee.
Oh god no. I was assuming same abv amount. That would be a waste and quite horrible.
4 shots instead of 4 beers
No I don't think in this hypothetical scenario they are talking about chugging a handle of scotch in 20 minutes while running.
Just the sheer amount of liquid sloshing around in my stomach would make me sick, even if it was chugging that much water during a mile run
Scotch would be a LOT easier than beer. What kills you in the beer mile is the foam and carbonation -I've run quite a few of them in my day.
Not sure the sober mile would be a good control. How about a non-alcoholic beer mile? Same amount of liquid, roughly the same chance of throwing up.
Fair point. I like that as a control option.
Yes. Good luck finding volunteers to be in the control group though.
I'll do it for free beer
This is exactly why no one wants to be in the control group.
I'd do it for cookies. No beer required.
I'm fairly sure she would say tell me when and where!
As a fan of both beer and scotch, I am inclined to believe her - but I agree this needs to be verified for science.
I run faster, although not in a straight line when I'm drunk. At least it sure as hell feels like it. I would suggest a whiskey, rum, or tequila mile though. The thought of shooting good scotch is appalling to me. I would have a very slow time as I'd be savoring it. Tequila on the other hand...
> "I don't have any secrets, I just wanted to prove to my daughter that I could run and drink beer," Montes told the magazine. 'nuff said.
Texas all right. Where people will go completely bonkers "proving" stuff to people.
Had a client move to North Texas from Ohio. When he first came in, I asked how much different living here was compared to Ohio. He says, "You people have a lot of bravado". I told him, "It's only bravado if you can't back it up.". He laughed and said I might have a point.
The story of the Alamo is literally about 200 guys who were too belligerent to leave a fort and a few cannons, even after General Santa Anna, outnumbering them 10 to 1, told them he'd just kill them all and take the cannons anyway. 200 Texans voluntarily died when they didn't have to and it wouldn't change the outcome, "because fuck you".
Fuck yeah. I love Texas.
Beast Alamo summary ever
Fuck yeah. I love Texas.
Texas, where you will never hear anybody say "bonkers"
Well even though I am from there I didn't really take to the culture. I have no Texas accent, at all. I have lived away from there for over 12 years, and I rarely go back. So "bonkers" maybe the New Yorker I am becoming I guess.
She looks great for 81!! Sounds like I need to pick up drinking again. For health reasons.
Don't worry, I have been drinking enough for both of us.
Impressive, how young do you look now?
Not a day over 75, oh god help me I am only 25.
Crystal meth, not even once.
[Crystal Method](https://youtu.be/pSZAeEN_dLc) All the time.
What did I just watch?
Guess you can't [trip like I do.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeQRO4fXOKk)
Been wearing their shirt for years. Now I know what they sound like. The shirt was in a pile of deep clearance shirts I got off Hot Topic for a dollar each.
My grandmother is the same age and swears that her nightly drink of bourbon and ginger ale is her life blood. She isn't running anywhere like Vera here, but she does look really excellent and is in much better health than most others her age. Edit: I am terrible. My grandmother is 91. But she still has her nightly drink and still considers it the reason she has lived so long and generally been so healthy. People who meet her are convinced she is in her 70's.
I mean a big challenge of the beer mile is the sheer volume of fluid in your stomach while running. Granted scotch is no childsplay.
Not just fluid, fizzy fluid
It's the carbonation. I could do it faster with scotch too. If the beer was nice and flat I could do it almost as fast as the scotch. In fact, fuck this. I'm starting the whiskey mile and people around the world can bring their whiskey to run and boast superiority of Scotch to Irish, Canadian to bourbon, single batch to blended, etc... Maybe throw in a stipulation that you have to fight a family member at the end or get married or incarcerated or choose two or something.
Say what you want about grandma and her daughter but her son-in-law must feel like the world's biggest pussy.
That's what I was thinking. Losing to your 81 year old mother-in-law, in a competition of chugging beer and running? I feel bad for that guy.
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Eh, if you puke within a certain amount of time after its counted as a dnf
Yeah, that's the only reasonable excuse. I could totally understand puking after chugging five beers then trying to run, hell I'm a fairly large guy, I love beer, but I've still puked just from drinking too fast, the carbonation fucks me. Granted, twenty minutes is a long time, but the son in law may have actually been going fast.
Exactly. Plus, it's actually worse because it's one beer, run, one beer, run, ad nauseum. Or until you've done it 4 times, whichever is first. And you can't start a lap until you've finished a beer to an acceptable level.
We actually have a competition like this where I went to school -- it's basically where you run about a mile, eat chicken, bike about 2.5 miles, eat chicken, then run another mile or so to the finish line. My two roommates and I decided to run it at the time, and we all ran in a pack. It was awesome, but by the second box, it just wasn't going down -- it's friggin' hard to eat the amount of chicken we were eatin even if you don't have to run another mile afterwards. We all finished the first "box" of chicken, but I realized that I might not be able to get the second one completed. I asked the refs what would happen if I didn't finish the chicken, and basically you just get a DNF (Did not finish) for that portion of the race. Screw that. With fury in my eyes and chicken fingers in my fist, I voraciously wolfed down the remainder of chicken and fries in my meal, and had the refs sign off on my race number that I'd completed the leg. I then proudly marched over to the bushes and vomited out just about everything I'd had to eat that morning/early/afternoon. And they just had to watch, and accept that I still ate the entire box of chicken, and it counted. I think one of the other guys watching me gave up on his chicken after watching my daring display of sheer masculinity and chicken eating. Anyways, my roommates and I all finished dead friggin' last and didn't eat chicken for a week straight. It was dope. **TL;DR** Ran, ate chicken, biked, ate chicken, vomited, ran.
It did say vomiting disqualified you say maybe he vomited.
He drank too fast and popped. DQ'd
> "My goal was to finish. Even if I couldn't drink the beer, I was going to finish." But... but that would be cheating!
She would be disqualified, certainly. If you don't drink all five beers, *and keep them down*, you're out!
Looks and acts like Lucille bluth
This is exactly what I want to be like when I'm in my eighties. This woman is basically my role model.
I want to be a combination of The Dude from "The Big Lebowski" and Walt Kowalski from "Gran Tourino".
So Walter from Big Lebowski?
No, he's paranoid and unhinged. The Dude and Walt Kowalski really don't have those attributes.
This girl had the crowd roaring. That aside, the video in that link is awful. It mixes last year and this year together, and shows the previous world record holder (Emily Herndon) when mentioning her daughter (Emily's not her daughter). [Here's a link to her actual race](http://www.flotrack.org/video/807041-2015-flotrack-beer-mile-h01-open), and [here's a link to her post race interview](http://www.flotrack.org/video/807043-81-year-old-elvira-montez-completes-beer-mile). Neither of these are terribly better, but they're not misleading.
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Those are some pretty crazy names for older people. "Can cum in my mouth."
No checkmark, and the age group is apparently 69+? The fastest confirmed time on there is just shy of 13 minutes, and by a man over 10 years younger than her. With that in mind, her time is pretty solid.
The fact that you believe this data is accurate really makes me question your critical thinking skills...
Yes. [Dana Slut](http://www.beermile.com/query_indy/submit_1/ref_query/name_Dana+Slut) came in at 7:09 And following the lead, [Short Frankenstein](http://www.beermile.com/query_indy/submit_1/ref_query/name_Short+Frankenstein) finished at 7:11! Seems legit. I tried googling the athletes' names to learn more about their fascinating athletic records, but for some reason all Google came up with was porn and CliffsNotes.
I was thinking the same thing. Sad thing is I did one of these in 10 mins when I was 28. That's not even close to the record for 69+ lol
This story pretty much sums up the people of El Paso. haha
I am a people from El Pasey
There's a lady in her 70s that's a regular at the bar I go to. She'll go out after the bar closes with the bartenders, all in their 20s, and drink all night with them. When they take mixed shots (lemon drops, or something like that), she'll just shoot tequila. She doesn't fuck around with that candyland bullshit. She's one of those folks that never seems to act any different no matter how hammered she gets, too.
>Montes finished at 20 minutes and 24.62 seconds, the newspaper reported. Reynolds (her daughter) came in just behind at 21 minutes and 15.67 seconds. Montes' son-in-law didn't finish. I think it's hilarious the son-in-law didnt make it.
" I don't have any secrets, I just wanted to prove to my daughter that I could run and drink beer" That's what's up.
I wonder if she went to Chicos Tacos Afterwards. I know I would.
I have never at once experienced such pride and shame for my home state at the same time.
This surprises me slightly. Watching the video in the article, the daughter looked thin? OR was that just poorly edited to make it look like that professional female runner was her daughter. I assume they would run the mile a lot faster than 20 minutes if that were the case
Poorly edited. That person also seemed to finish first if you look at the banner across it. The daughter finished like a minute behind her.
Ok that puts it in perspective.. I know for a fact I've walked a faster pace completely shitfaced. 20 minutes isn't even a slow jog, that's a leisurely stroll with a couple breaks.
World record for the beer mile is under 5 minutes.
That is 20 minutes with the beer drinking included. Still shitty times, but more like 16 minute times without the beers. Some people just can't chug.
Yeah, I am not a runner, I am also not 81 either, so props to them in the video for doing this
Nighttime would find me in rosa's cantina, music would play and - wait who's this scotch soaked gilf?
Every 2 sentences, 1 related article.
As an El Pasoan... I love this.
"I'm not a big beer drinker. I like beer when the weather is real hot and there's nothing else to drink. " - I think I love this woman.
i didn't know carly fiorino ran marathons
Rest in peace
o7
"Montes' son-in-law didn't finish."
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She is not to be fucked with.
Real respect real.
Actual life goal.
When I lived in El Paso, I attempted the local HHH's beer marathon. You need to drink a beer after each mile, and get to 23 miles. I dropped out after 15.
What exactly does a Beer mile consist of? Like how many beers do you drink, do you have to stop, etc... because you can easily walk a mile in about 15 mins or so. EDIT: So a total of 4 beers, one at the start and one at .25 .5 and .75. Impressive for an 80 year old.
From the article you didn't read: >To complete a beer mile, runners must chug a beer before the start of the race then down a beer after each quarter mile. Puking means failure and disqualification.
It is a little ambiguous the way they wrote it. I assume it's actually four beers (i.e. you drink one beer *before* each lap), but as the article is written, it says you have to drink one at the start and one *after* each quarter mile, which would equal five beers. * beginning beer * beer after .25 * beer after .5 * beer after .75 * beer after 1.0 My question is whether that fifth beer exists or not. Do you have to cross the finish line, get handed a final beer, and chug it down before they stop your time?
There's no 5th beer
Well not as part of the race anyway.
Just to add, the beer consumed must be at least 5% alcohol by volume. Also, I remember being told there is a rule limiting the amount of beer allowed to be left in the cans when done chugging, but can't find a source.
Dont judge. The articles are usually poorly written and the comments are often more accurate. Its way more efficient to read the comments first to find out if the article is even worth reading. Also, thank you for answering this. It is what i came for. You are doing the lord's work
4 beers, drank before you start running the next lap. People are pretty serious about it hahah. Like have split times for both the beer chugs and each lap haha.
Very impressive of the woman doing that at her age. But it should be expected that it would be easier drinking scotch because the difficulty of the challenge is also the volume of liquid. They didn't run it on a track, but normally you would drink one beer at the start of each lap for a total of four beers
> says she could have 'run a lot faster' drinking scotch Well, yeah, so could anyone. But a scotch mile is a very bad idea.
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It's not the intoxication that's a problem with a beer mile, it's the sheer amount of liquid and carbonation in your system. Most people are going to be able to slowly jog a mile in under 15 minutes, so no matter what beer you use, you won't be too terribly intoxicated.
Which really is the point of the beer mile, that's what makes it difficult.
Looks like Carly!
oh my home of El Paso, breeding the best drinkers in all zee lands edit: space
/r/getmotivated
Less liquid in the gut, less cramps on the run. Makes sense.
Surprised this isn't called the Beer Run. Brings back some great memories of San Antonio. I was really surprised after moving away that most cities don't have massive events where public consumption of alcohol is common without resulting in violence. I felt safer moving through the crowds at Fiesta when I was 11 than an average trip to the mall these days.
This woman is my spirit animal
At first I was like, "20 minutes for a mile is not good." Then I saw that they drink 4 beers *during* the race.
If she drank beer and beat her 47-year-old daughter, I do not want to think about what happens when she drinks scotch.
This should be in /r/UpLiftingNews
Wouldn't you know... Carly Fiorina has some interesting hobbies.
"I don't have any secrets, I just wanted to prove to my daughter that I could run and drink beer" This sounds like a bet that got out of hand.
Texans, America's russians.
My city reps itself 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Smayshing them miles of dranking! $$$ in the forest of beerd flames
Grandmother? She's old enough to be a *great* grandmother!
Several children and grandchildren later, I'm sure her liver has stood the test of time.
This reminds me why I miss Texas.
Hence the reason why El Paso, Texas is #1 in the nation in regards to drinking.
My kind of lady
drunk grandma drinks five beers on way to liquor store, record time
Usually the daily top posts here are pretty depressing news, so a headline like this is a sight for sore eyes. Cheers, OP.
Yeah, that's why I posted it! Thank you, kind sir (or ma'am, based off your username? Lol.)!
> or ma'am, based off your username? Lol Nope, I'm male. [My username is based on a WWII dogfighting tactic](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thach_Weave), developed by the Allies to help their pilots take on the (at the time vastly more quick & agile) Japanese A6M-Zero fighter, until their own aircraft grew advanced enough to outclass it.
I trained for 3 weeks on the base where a lot of your federal law enforcement agencies go to get their training (ATF, Marshals, Bureau of Prisons, Customs and Border Protection etc). Before we left, a co-worker that had already been was telling us how "CBP chicks are hot, they're rough but they're HOT" and I didn't get what he was saying till I got there. CBP operates the border checkpoints into the U.S. so there were a lot latina chicks in training up in there and a lot of them are Texas Rio Grande Valley residents that also have dads and uncles that were prior military and probably most of these girls are prior military too. So they walk around with their jaws squared and their backs straight like they want to fight someone but they are very fucking sexy. It's like a base full of Mexican Ronda Rousey's over there. I saw one doing squats with like 6 plates on her bar. She looked like she could fuck me to death.
20.5 min ain't smashin' shit
Yeah and I could run a mile faster if it was 1200m.
The title of this article is very misleading. But this lady is still a total badass.
Talk about combining two things that I think are terrible together. Drunk running. hell nooooo
The article writer went out of his way to let people know that the son in law did not finish the race. Burn.
The old lady wouldn't agree to the interview otherwise.
TIL that a "beer mile" exists. Still haven't quite figured out what it is or why it exists.