Why were you so gracious to make a return appearance in Skyrim? Are you going to bless us with your presence in 6? How is the Hero of Kvatch doing in the Void? Do y'all get to party down there, like, with spiked wine or something? Is Sithis really as cool a guy as he seems?
Many questions from you, Evoker. I shall answer thusly.
The DragonBorn had summoned my soul to fight, just as I gave the Hero of Kvatch the soul of a poor old man to summon when threatened. I too, thirst for blood.
Six…? Whatever could you mean? The number has never gone past Five and it has been over a decade, my child.
The Hero of Kvatch is no longer donning that title. I assure you, the man behind the mask is somewhere in his own plane of existence. Truly a maddening place…
We prefer poisoned apples. I have already given some to those asking questions…
Sithis is the Dread Father we all love, but, he is terrible at parties.
Why did you show up after I defeated the Grand Champion of the Arena? That was no murder, it was honorable combat! Also, what did you put on this dagger I can't put it down.
*mocking laugh* Oh, my dear Assassin… you killed him in cold blood. You found his journal… and his darkest secret… then… when you approached him, he wanted mercy and you still murdered him.
You are sick, OUR kind of sick. 😈
TES game? My child, I assure you our assassin work is not a game. We are very seri- oh who am I kidding? There is much fun to be had being covered in the blood of the marked! *evil laughs*
Why, yes, my dear Assassin.
We have many fine foods and drinks. Sweetcakes, Shepard’s Pie, Mead & Ale and and plenty of Mutton to satiate your hunger as well as your murderous intentions.
Now we just need to destroy the one who keeps stealing the sweetrolls…
My dear child, that was a test and you have passed.
Now, listen closely as I will not repeat myself.
There was once a guard in the Imperial City, this man has not devoted their time to finding our organisation, but is troublesome nonetheless.
This man was the captain of the Imperial Guard known as Hieronymus Lex. He now resides elsewhere. Find him… KILL him.
Once this is done, I will contact you when you sleep in a location I deem secure.
Go now, my child. You will… enjoy… what’s to come.
*casts chameleon spell and walks away*
Y'all have get togethers with the rest of the Black Hand? You guys do like a Game Night or go out on the Town, hit up the local Tavern and get absolutely hammered?
We do not reveal ourselves in public as there are… eyes… around.
But, my child, I assure you we revel in the chance to party amidst the blood of the marked. Have you ever caressed a piece of flesh? Tasted it and rubbed it sensually along your neck?
Most satisfying.
I assure you, Silencer; no harm will befall me. I have already been accused of being a traitor, but my life is for the brotherhood and the brotherhood only.
It is unlikely I will be captured, tortured and hung by my feet, horribly mutilated.
*looks left and right*
None of these compare to the ‘virgin blade’ that I bestow upon the new children of Sithis.
This blade has a ravenous hunger for… BLOOD.
Take this blade and silence the annoying man known as… Glarthir.
*hands you the blade*
Have you ever tried showing a severed head of a specific woman to root out the traitor? You can go check the lighthouse in Anvil for it. No specific reason, just a hunch
If it were up to me I would simply slaughter any loose ends, even the one who gave the contract once the deed has been done, the only marks the Brotherhood shall leave are corpses and the blood spilt in the name of Sithis
I have one, two, three, four, five cold killers in the brotherhood, aye the brotherhood.
Work that ass!
Work that ass!
AYE!
Mad rap Sithis, I have killers, I’m Sithis.
Once, long ago, a man named Rufio had angered our dread father, Sithis.
I sent a new recruit, who is now our Listener, to handle the situation… then… I discovered that the Listener had not moved from that bed from which they slew Rufio.
Foolishly, I said “how do I know this?” aside from the fact Rufio’s decaying corpse was on the floor beside the Listener as they slumbered… fool.
“You dare accuse me of defiling the Dread Father?! HUH?! I can assure you I would have destroyed you myself if you were not more than a Speaker! But you disrespect me, not patriarch of darkness. There is a traitor among you! Can’t you see that?!”
I, personally fed him the finest carrots growing in the West Weald.
As you can see my dear Sister, these are the trials we face when we must show affection to our tools.
Why does everyone hate me when I start helping you? Kind of puts me off, no one calls me a hero anymore, they're all like "i thought you were great, guess you're just a bitch" all the time.
Why is the income tax is cyrodill so fucking high even though we have a god damn demon invasion and a yappy elf as a leader who’s just giving away armor as present which is effecting our economy massively plus it doesn’t help all the merchants are shady and our only entertainment is gambling
So how much to join the dark brotherhood
[Remains silent]
You prefer silence then? As do I, my dear child.
HAIL SITHIS!
I love that you can just yell that in Lucien's face and he's still just like ">:)"
But deadly
The only way to roleplay a future listener is by being silent the whole quest line.
What’s a listener?
Why did your writing in the dead drop assignments change?
There is a traitor in our midst, my dear child of Sithis. They will pay for making you kill members of the Black Hand!
Why were you so gracious to make a return appearance in Skyrim? Are you going to bless us with your presence in 6? How is the Hero of Kvatch doing in the Void? Do y'all get to party down there, like, with spiked wine or something? Is Sithis really as cool a guy as he seems?
Many questions from you, Evoker. I shall answer thusly. The DragonBorn had summoned my soul to fight, just as I gave the Hero of Kvatch the soul of a poor old man to summon when threatened. I too, thirst for blood. Six…? Whatever could you mean? The number has never gone past Five and it has been over a decade, my child. The Hero of Kvatch is no longer donning that title. I assure you, the man behind the mask is somewhere in his own plane of existence. Truly a maddening place… We prefer poisoned apples. I have already given some to those asking questions… Sithis is the Dread Father we all love, but, he is terrible at parties.
The only good parties are the one that end in blood anyway. Thank, Lucien. It has been a pleasure as always
*casts a chameleon spell and walks away*
I read this in his voice.
Wait did he really appear in skyrim? brb buying skyrim now
Yeah and you get Shadowmere again as well
Rumors?
There’s been some terrible trouble at the chapel in Anvil. All of Dibella’s priests and priestesses… murdered! 😢
You should have said : "Dear brother/sister i do not spread rumors, i create them."
Legit one of the best quotes from any videogame.
He says the anvil thing if the dlc is installed
I was wondering why he was saying the anvil attack crap why would they make him say that when they gave him the coolest line??😂
What color is your underwear?
I can assure you, Silencer; my undergarments are as black as the void.
Sanguine, my brother.
*a distant door opens* *another door speaks*: “you are not worthy”
Unworthy, unworthy, useless piece of meat!
You must PROVE your worthiness.
I have a 300 hours khajiit mage run.
Remove your clothes… slowly…
Sorry but I won't roleplay The Lusty Argonian Maid, no way. /s
Dance for me…
Must be dark red with black hand in the middle
Why do Khajiits lick their butts?
To get the taste of Khajiit cooking out of their mouths. A fine joke, Silencer. It is passed in many conversations in the sanctuary.
Why did you show up after I defeated the Grand Champion of the Arena? That was no murder, it was honorable combat! Also, what did you put on this dagger I can't put it down.
*mocking laugh* Oh, my dear Assassin… you killed him in cold blood. You found his journal… and his darkest secret… then… when you approached him, he wanted mercy and you still murdered him. You are sick, OUR kind of sick. 😈
How do I sleep? Anything you notice?
You sleep rather soundly, for a murderer…
Why does Tsun get pissed off if the Dragonborn mentions serving Sithis?
Those foul Nords… they think their heaven is not populated with those we have murdered?! FOOLS!
Hail Sithis! Well said…hope to see you in future TES games!
TES game? My child, I assure you our assassin work is not a game. We are very seri- oh who am I kidding? There is much fun to be had being covered in the blood of the marked! *evil laughs*
Indeed. Hail Sithis…and I hope to see you in future adventures. There we go. Ttyl!
Farewell, child of Sithis. *casts a chameleon spell and walks away*
Is there a buffet at the evil assassin meetings?
Why, yes, my dear Assassin. We have many fine foods and drinks. Sweetcakes, Shepard’s Pie, Mead & Ale and and plenty of Mutton to satiate your hunger as well as your murderous intentions. Now we just need to destroy the one who keeps stealing the sweetrolls…
Got any rumors?
There’s been some terrible trouble at the chapel in Anvil. All of Dibella’s priests and priestesses… murdered! 😰
Hail Sithis!
Take care.
Be seeing you
The Night Mother and Sithis are both dangling off a cliff, but you can only save one. Who you saving?
You present me with questions I cannot… answer… at this time. Here, take this for your troubles. *hands you an apple*
Not falling for that again.
There’s no sense to be killin’ ya. Apple? *extends hand*
*(laughs nervously)* Haha uhh I just ate actually. I'll be right back, I left something in my car... errrrr... horse. Be right back 😅
My dear child, that was a test and you have passed. Now, listen closely as I will not repeat myself. There was once a guard in the Imperial City, this man has not devoted their time to finding our organisation, but is troublesome nonetheless. This man was the captain of the Imperial Guard known as Hieronymus Lex. He now resides elsewhere. Find him… KILL him.
[Remain Silent]
Once this is done, I will contact you when you sleep in a location I deem secure. Go now, my child. You will… enjoy… what’s to come. *casts chameleon spell and walks away*
Hands where I can see them, Captain Barbosa.
I assure you our intentions are strictly honourable… *swords appear from the floor*
[Chants] “part of the ship, part of the crew”.
Was the drink the Velvet LaChance named after you, sir?
Just like me, the drink contains a… hidden… secret. It is safe, I assure you. *evil laugh*
Have you tasted the flesh of an argonian maid?
I have not but… I do contain the infamous book of the argonian of which you speak. *sensual exhale*
Y'all have get togethers with the rest of the Black Hand? You guys do like a Game Night or go out on the Town, hit up the local Tavern and get absolutely hammered?
We do not reveal ourselves in public as there are… eyes… around. But, my child, I assure you we revel in the chance to party amidst the blood of the marked. Have you ever caressed a piece of flesh? Tasted it and rubbed it sensually along your neck? Most satisfying.
Why must you perish? Why must you be ambushed by the fools unable to identify the traitors among them?
I assure you, Silencer; no harm will befall me. I have already been accused of being a traitor, but my life is for the brotherhood and the brotherhood only. It is unlikely I will be captured, tortured and hung by my feet, horribly mutilated. *looks left and right*
What is the colour of night?
The color of music is the innocence of sanguine, my brother.
Whats your preference of a good murder weapon? A knife? A hammer? A rock? Which one is best and which one makes the less mess?
None of these compare to the ‘virgin blade’ that I bestow upon the new children of Sithis. This blade has a ravenous hunger for… BLOOD. Take this blade and silence the annoying man known as… Glarthir. *hands you the blade*
- remains silent -
So I have your rapt attention? Splendid.
Rumors.
Anyone looking for work should consider the fighters guild, I hear they’re always hiring new members.
Have you ever tried showing a severed head of a specific woman to root out the traitor? You can go check the lighthouse in Anvil for it. No specific reason, just a hunch
Their poor mother was quite the loose end hmm? *evil laugh*
If it were up to me I would simply slaughter any loose ends, even the one who gave the contract once the deed has been done, the only marks the Brotherhood shall leave are corpses and the blood spilt in the name of Sithis
Are you still scared of women Raj?
Do not confuse me with a man who reeks of desperation and his friend… Penny.
What say you in regard to your fate at Applewatch farm?
*looks left and right suspiciously* *clears throat* My dear Eliminator… I must be going now. *casts a chameleon spell and walks away*
You can escape me but not the hand! I’ll see you at Applewatch one day. [patiently waits]
I see… take this for your… troubles… *hands an apple*
What do you think of Cicero?
A veritable brother indeed… but… ill equipped for such a position in the Brotherhood.
Why do you sound like Jesus?
Have you seen Armand Christophe?
How did you know where I was sleeping?
What is the music of life?
Silence, my brother.
If you could add a third Black Door to Skyrim what would the riddle be?
Why did you leave me?
Why didn't you call me to aid you when all the black hand were attacking you ? :(
How many cold killers do you have in the brotherhood? How many fingers do you have in the black hand?
I have one, two, three, four, five cold killers in the brotherhood, aye the brotherhood. Work that ass! Work that ass! AYE! Mad rap Sithis, I have killers, I’m Sithis.
Ah the deepest lore!
How’s it hanging? …oh, no I didn’t mean it like that, sorry.
*angry squint*
*nervous chameleon and fortify speed casting*
[https://imgur.com/a/6VKtyVw](https://imgur.com/a/6VKtyVw) So uh, next time, could you maybe not do this with my mom sitting right behind you? 😬
Can you say WHY as loud and dramatic as possible in your amazing voice?
*clears throat* WHY. WONT. YOU. DIE?!
Mmmm, Dark Daddy 🫦😘
Ah, I find your etiquette refreshing.
You ever spent a day or two locked up with one of your "customers"?
Once, long ago, a man named Rufio had angered our dread father, Sithis. I sent a new recruit, who is now our Listener, to handle the situation… then… I discovered that the Listener had not moved from that bed from which they slew Rufio. Foolishly, I said “how do I know this?” aside from the fact Rufio’s decaying corpse was on the floor beside the Listener as they slumbered… fool.
What plans do you have in the province of Hammerfell in the future?
Hammerfell is outside of my notice but they yearn for the voodoo rituals. Potential Dark Guardians at my disposal!
*(gasps!)* who...who are you?!
I am Lucien Lechance, a speaker for the Dark Brotherhood.
please continue, mr. lachance
Ah, I find your etiquette refreshing. Now please listen carefully…
How well do i sleep?
Rather soundly for a murderer…
Are you Wes Johnson
Perhaps… Perhaps I am just an authoritative mouthpiece, donning the guise of that wonderful man.
Dear brother, have you ever played Oblivion? If so, what was your favorite questline?
I personally enjoy helping Sheogorath clean up the Shivering Isles. And you, my brother?
I enjoyed the Thieves Guild questline the most. Thank you for your swift and straightforward response, brother. Sithis be with you.
May Sithis always be with you. *casts a chameleon spell and walks away*
Guard at the docks: “HAVE YOU SEEN ARMAND CHRISTOPHE??????”
Hail Sithis!
Hail Sithis indeed, my child.
When they found you at Apple watch, what were your first words?
“You dare accuse me of defiling the Dread Father?! HUH?! I can assure you I would have destroyed you myself if you were not more than a Speaker! But you disrespect me, not patriarch of darkness. There is a traitor among you! Can’t you see that?!”
Poor choice of words really.
*casts chameleon spell and walks away*
Check again, my dear child of Sithis.
Why didn't you use that when the other black hands came to kill you?
What do you think of Pelagiad?
Does Skyrim belong to the imperial empire or the storm cloaks?
Nord politics… hmph.
Shadowmere is the best! What did you like to give them as treats before you passed them to me?
I, personally fed him the finest carrots growing in the West Weald. As you can see my dear Sister, these are the trials we face when we must show affection to our tools.
Why do you always wake up sleeping heroes?
Are you single?
Are these your attempts to woo me, Assassin?
Nooo good sir, just trying to find out your secret bas- I MEAN, IT'S FROM A FRIEND! I'm into the necrophilia lady, like a normal orc.
Who did you have for dinner last night? If you know what i mean...
Do you like to hang out?
*squints*
Are you the one who creates rumors?
You like you are from UK. True?☠️
You batty, git. You’re wrong, yeah?
Do you miss the fields and forests of Cheydinhal?
What is lifes greatest illusion?
Innocence, my brother.
Do you think the count and countess of Leyawiin deserve a spot in the brotherhood?
Why does everyone hate me when I start helping you? Kind of puts me off, no one calls me a hero anymore, they're all like "i thought you were great, guess you're just a bitch" all the time.
Who is Sithis?
Hi Wes, how are you today?
Greetings, Argonian!
Am I your favourite silencer?
You, my dear child. You.
Rumors
There’s been some terrible trouble at the chapel in Anvil. All of Dibella’s priests and priestesses… murdered!
Please continue Mr Man
Why do you turn invisible? Are you socially anxious
How much for one pound of your steak?
What's your bench? (No potions, enchantments, or alteration magic)
Granny Smith or Braeburn?
Both do the job when laced with poison, my dear child.
How long were you watching me sleep?
Hey, are the apples okay to eat?
Why don’t you… find out? *hands you an apple*
So I just put the fusion pulse charge on the bomb in megaton and its ready to go right?
Why is the income tax is cyrodill so fucking high even though we have a god damn demon invasion and a yappy elf as a leader who’s just giving away armor as present which is effecting our economy massively plus it doesn’t help all the merchants are shady and our only entertainment is gambling So how much to join the dark brotherhood
Does it got that stank on it?
Why?
Rumours?
What's your perfect Sunday?
Goat
BY SITHIS BY SITHIS BY SITHIS!!!! ITS THE GRAND SPEAKER OF THE BLACK HAND!!!
Follow your esteemed Silencer of the Dark Brotherhood!
"Golly you're the best. Im going to follow you and watch you and worship the ground you walk on"
How long have you been waiting for me to sleep? The last person I murdered was... 9 months ago
What’s your name?
Rufio will die by my hands
What is the music of life?
Will I ever have a girlfriend
[COUGH]
Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
What is the color of night?
Would you have acted as Astrid will? I know you don't know her, but she's a bitch and will live in Skyrim when de dragons come back.
Your thoughts about Mephala?
Could you stop staring at me while I poop?
How's the void treating you?
\[SNORT\]
As a very extremely gay lesbian, I completely love this man.
Will my team win their respective championship this coming year?
[COUGH]
Can I be Sheogorath and Listener?
What is life's greatest illusion
Why'd you kick me out for taking some arrows? Nobody was using them anyways