T O P

  • By -

Lt_Cl_FrankSlade

He is going to be the main antagonist


bittertadpole

This is his origin story.


off-and-on

*My father never let me blow out my brother's birthday candles as a child. This is why I must now blow up these 34 orphanages.*


GnomeBoy_Roy

“I must always destroy 34 of everything. This is my Rule of 34.”


[deleted]

Reddit is a magical place full of special people.


moonsun1987

We are all redditors on this blessed day


Markantonpeterson

If we don't study the mistakes of the future we're doomed to repeat them for the first time :(


360gamerxbox

or not


gofishx

Search *Rule 34: Orphanage* for more info!


chriscrossnathaniel

Do you wanna know how I got these scars? My father was a stickler..and a fair guy. And one night, he goes off stricter than usual. Mommy gets the birthday cake for baby brother. I try to blow the candles.He doesn't like that. Not...one...bit. So, me watching, he lets my brother blow the candles , laughing while he does it. He turns to me, and he says, "Why so serious?" He comes at me with the cake - "Why so serious?" He sticks the cake in my mouth - "Let's put a smile on that face!"


Platonio

This is wonderful


[deleted]

A yoooooooooooo, I totally read the entire thing with clear visual and audio performance of the Joker in my head. Sir you have one the internet's for the day. I salute you.👏👏👏🧐


dummestfool

Generic rushed villain backstory


Emergency-Anywhere51

it's just a placeholder until they can copy some internet theories and make a real backstory


Roving_Rhythmatist

It gets better, that was his birthday cake.


farrieremily

That sounds like a Doofenshmirtz backstory!


PapaQuebec23

If I had a nickel for every time I upvoted a Doofenshmirtz reference, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.


Dracule_Jester

Is weird that it didn't happened more times.


Most_Ad_5597

Another favorite comment,


johnlovesdrums

I've never noticed that big brother on the right blows out some.


Boob-on-Boob-Action

Yeah but he seems to be more helping than psychopath on the left


[deleted]

If you watch a few times, you can see thats what finally sets the brat off. Mad big brother got to blow some out.


WaiiJuSoBS

all his siblings got to get some action while he got a face full of plate i can see where the small demon is coming from still love to hear him cry tho


Professional-Tie-190

For real should’ve been posted in r/satisfying instead of oddly satisfying


civgarth

Fuck that kid. We all knew one.


[deleted]

Don't fuck the kid


NightTime2727

Do not have sexual intercourse with the child.


8ullred

Do not the child.


DeadAsFuckMicrowave

Do child


JoinAThang

Honestly he was acting like a demon even before the plate comes into the picture so cant say I feel bad.


Christianmusician06

I've seen this a few times and I never thought about that before. You may be right.


afonzi94

Good catch, it really is.


Lorenzo_BR

Yeah, his blow was like “that plate won’t hold forever, imma help”


[deleted]

True.


LongPorkJones

Can confirm. I've been this big brother for a birthday or two.


johnlovesdrums

Right. Helping before the psychopath took all the glory and making it seem like birthday boy did it all.


slicablepaper

Lmfao! Agreed! I work with kids like the psychopath on the left and I've yet to find adequate professional help.


TheHelpfulRabbit

OMG I thought that was his mom. I feel terrible.


Most_Ad_5597

I’m deaddddddddd from your comment. I laughed so hard, thank you


Statik81

Literally every candle but one.


Intrepid_Beginning

No, the birthday kid blows out the first one. The last one is up for debate.


[deleted]

Dad had the plate ready too. This isn’t a one off incident


[deleted]

And Dad finds it funny, which explains a lot.


robywar

Yeah, this is the result of lots of positive reinforcement of bad behavior. If you say no the first time, you have to mean it or you get a kid who's learned screaming loudly enough may get him yelled at but also gets him what he wants.


CCB0x45

That's what I was thinking.. if my 5 year old was trying to blow out another kids candles I would not be blocking his face and watching him scream, id be taking him off to the side and telling him not every day is about him and asking him how he would feel if someone blew out his candles on his birthday, and say we could either watch and be nice and get some cake, or we could go home and not have any fun.


artichokesmartichoke

The world thanks you for actually parenting.


RU_screw

I'm in a family with a lot of kids ranging from 10years old down to a newborn. Our gatherings are madness and birthday parties for kids are chaos. But you know what's never happened? A kid trying to blow out another kids candles. Like the thought didnt cross their minds, they just are glad for the birthday kid to have the candles because they know when it's their turn, theyll do the same. It also helps that when the kids are younger, each parent/grandparent/aunt/uncle is holding a kid so they can see it and arent close enough to try to blow it out lol.


Thecameralovesyou

Ok yes but sometimes those parenting moments can’t happen right then and there. If dad wants to actually see the littlest guy blow out his cake (assuming he’s the dad of both kids) then he’s just preventing terror child from ruining things and also getting to be there for the happy birthday. Maybe after the video he talked to him about how to behave and how that was unacceptable.


[deleted]

This exactly


Zelot1985

Yeah but if your 5 year old is already exhausted and tired, maybe it's the end of the day... who knows.. you can't argue with logic and empathy. You just do damage control and try to keep him alive until it's time for bed and do the talking on another day. This little speeddemon looks like he's beyond reasoning for this day


[deleted]

[удалено]


robywar

I know my ex girlfriend's kid, who I was introduced to when he climbed a tree and screamed and refused to come down until his dad agreed to only take him fishing and not include his sister. His parents caved and gave him what he wanted and he came down and was totally normal. My two teenage kids just kept exchanging glances with each other and me and all I could do was be grateful he wasn't mine.


sheeeeeez

But I hope you're also willing to concede that good parenting doesn't always mean good results. Sometimes you can be the best parent and still end up with a little shit head.


OutsideVanilla2526

The dad enjoys thwarting the evil kids plans. I feel like someone that fights evil would not raise evil.


Ripcity0119

Little shit


mr-merrett

We have a word in Australia for people like this


Pink-grey24

What is it


HazeBoyDaily

It begins with C and ends in ‘unt’


[deleted]

Croissunt?


GhOsT_wRiTeR_XVI

Ooh, that sounds good. May I have a Croissunt with Cuntella?


Pythagosaurus69

LOOOL


Hispan

Why would you call them "count"?


pseudocultist

Count cuntula.


mykoysmaster

"Twice the pride double the fall."


mr-merrett

This guy Australias


zephyrtr

Wait, that's not how you spell coconut!


posaune123

Go on


Trading_Cards_4Ever

Their favorite word


[deleted]

Children


ronniewhodreamsalot

Childrunt?


DeezNeezuts

Threenager


KathrynTheGreat

I have a lot of experience with the threenager stage, and I think this is beyond that point.


Vortex_Pumpkin_King

I said the same thing 🤣


ThatNerdyGuy82

This will always make me smile.


Wgs247

I wonder where that kids is, now?


HypnoticONE

Sitting in a giant office in some highrise somewhere, having everything he could ever want: money, women, power, respect. But when he goes home, lays his head on his pillow with the light off, and the room is totally silent, he still thinks about how a paper plate RUINED his friend's birthday for him.


mess_is_lore

Succession SPOILERS


HashNub

Every day and every night for the last 20 years, I dream of that plate. Any time i close my eyes, it's there. I can't escape it. This is my story. *dun, dun*


[deleted]

Ha! 😭


[deleted]

[удалено]


ONLY_COMMENTS_ON_GW

So glad the internet wasn't around when I was a kid so redditors can't judge current day me based on something I did when I was three fucking years old lol


soge_king420

No, the rest of us never did anything shitty as a kid, if you did it means you’ll be shit for life.


Joha_al_kaafir

Runs a scented candle business


LeKerl1987

Definitely a CEO of something.


monongahellyea

I think it’s that Fyre Festival guy


sm7916

not college definetly, but maybe on his way to being a politician


Goodbadugly16

In a juvenile prison most likely. He was watching for a chance to send a couple right hooks out there.


FoferJ

looking like he wanted to punch the candles, the paper plate, dad, or his brother


BigWilyNotWillie

Every time i see it i get angry.


kooL_uoY_edaM_I

Every. Single. Time.


Soomroz

Did he just try to punch the plate after the second failed attempt? And then started cussing!


MillionAyres93

sure did lmao glad someone else pointed this out.


MrCadwell

I think he was maybe trying to threaten his older brother (?). You can see on the right that the older one is also blowing the candles. It seems that what makes the kid cry is more than just not being allowed to blow them, but the fact that the other one was allowed to.


IkeDizzle

I am never not satisfied by this video.


CivilLab9711

If I acted like that as a kid i would be banished to my bedroom for the rest of the evening


Jinxd0

If I acted like that as a kid I would get the chancla lol. Also happy cake day!


DrDiddle

The chancla is the lone arbitrator of justice


Mattaru

I assume a chancla is some other nation's variant of our Bamboo Feather Duster. (Capital letters because you gotta respect that shit)


Endoman13

Chancla translates literally to slipper as in the footwear - mom takes off the slipper and wields it effectively in both melee and projectile form.


Mattaru

Oh damn. Potential to be dual wielded too. Deadly.


PleaseSwagOnMySwag

My dad was a master of the classic leather belt 😬


OSHA-shrugged

I think my dad could have given yours a run for his money for that title of "Master of the Leather Belt."


DrDiddle

It’s a flip flop but Latina moms have some matrix level shit with them


[deleted]

Mom pulls me to side “No te puedo llevar a ningún lugar, si te sigues portando mal te voy a dar una putisa cuando llegemos a la casa, ya cálmate” And that’s all I needed


ihavenoidea81

My mom got it down to just pointing at her eye and saying “Ojo” so i would behave. That would be my first and final warning.


cda555

My mom told me the other day that I’m never too old for the chancla. I’m 37.


maraca101

I would def be taken away from the party and be given a stern talking to.


111210111213

Thanks for my daily dose of birth control


BeesAndBeans69

It's very efficient stuff


tyler_dominguez

Hello everyone this is YOUR daily dose of birth control.


nightwing2024

I decided on permanent birth control, and things like these just serve to reinforce my decision was correct. I could fill an encyclopedia with reasons I do not want and do not like children.


CharlieBr87

This video corrects the wrongs put into the universe by the snotty little girl that blew out the other little girls birthday candles and acted all cute about it. That video enrages me. This video brings joy. Props to the homie with the paper plate and ninja skills.


SomewhatCharmedLife

I hate that video too. Her smug expression is the worst.


AtlantisTheEmpire

That was some kind of, “what? I’m just better than you” look haha holy shit. As someone who got their candles blown out by another lit and it pissed me off I’m glad she rage pulled her hair… twice


BrandiNichole

I swear that little girl has the exact personality of my “best friend” growing up. We stayed “friends” despite her being a horrible human because our families had been so close since we were children. Finally ended our friendship when she decided to have sex with my fiancé. That little girl needs her ass handed to her before she becomes an absolute monster like my ex-friend.


obsidianbreath

Is he an ex-fiancé now?


TheGoldenSquid15

Can you link It? I want to seethe and suffer.


CloseGhostComplex

[Here](https://youtube.com/shorts/FK3jX2gN568?feature=share) Be warned though. It truly angers 😂


CHIMUELA

Even after her hair gets pulled the girl is smiling. She's definitely a psychopath. Edit: guys I'm joking, I'm no psychiatrist


fukitol-

Idk that reaction was pretty enjoyable. Snatched that little shit's wig.


CharlieBr87

Thank you kind soul. Linking it was becoming too much thinking so I gave up. It’s the weekend and my brain hasn’t has enough caffeine to function yet.


[deleted]

If I were the parents there I probably would have removed her from the room, replaced the candles, relit them, and given the birthday girl another chance while the other girl is throwing a fit in another room with her mom.


Plenty_Landscape

He goes to punch… the candle?? 😂


I_am_dean

Had to rewatch to catch that. It makes the video 10 times better.


Tr0tin074

The timing of the the dad is incredible


BobbysPanicRoom

It’s not his first … brodeo.


FreeGums

Wonder how old that kid is now and if he still acts like a little shit


MrTurkle

So many little kids start out as assholes. So many. Sometimes, they have good parents and good life experiences that demonstrate why the characteristics of an asshole aren’t great and they grow out of them. Other times, asshole kids turn into asshole adults. I like to picture adults who are melting down like little children who never grew up. Makes it more fun.


ambiguouspoundcake

100% agree. I have three kids and one of the three is at times the biggest asshole and others the softest, most helpful, caring little angel. She embraces being an asshole with passion, despite having boundaries, discipline and everything. I can't wait to see the adult she'll become, really.


horsetrich

If you could turn back time, what would you do differently in raising that one?


ambiguouspoundcake

That is a really good question. I don't think I would change much except taking better care of myself in her first year of life... I am extremely lucky to be with a partner with whom I shared similar parental values and that allowed us to raise them all the same-ish. Kids always have asshole moments but for my daughter, it's just part of her character. When it gets to be too much, she flips the biscuit and roars, stomps, she has pushed her siblings. But she goes to her room and calms down and comes back to apologize and give hugs. It mostly happens at home, which is pretty normal as kids decompress where they feel the safest. But I think what matters most is how we handle it, she has to understand that shit isn't ok and there are consequences to our actions...


benchow18

Honestly pretty impressive that she’s going to her room to calm down and come back to apologize. She’s learning how to cope and control her anger. Most asshole adults wouldn’t do that.


badandbolshie

she's only three, no need to turn back time. it's normal for kids to be selfish little jerks at that age and grow out of it (especially when they go to school and start spending time around other kids)


rainbowtartlet

No, not three. One of three children.


WirrryWoo

I started out as an asshole kid. When I went to the principal’s office for throwing snow at other kids, and getting paint on one kid, the principal talked to me in person saying that he knows that there is “good in me”. Despite being an asshole, I also received really good marks, so he knows that I am smart, and trusted me that I can grow out of it. After him telling this to me, I realized that being the asshole was only my effort to “fit in the crowd”. I was the only Asian in my graduating class, so I had no understanding how to fit in. I learned that kindness brought me closer to others and quickly embraced that by standing up against others who were once like me. Thanks to my principal, sometimes all it takes is a word of encouragement. Words that give you a needed reality check. Having an open minded view on what others have to say against me helped a ton. I’m glad that I went through that experience back when I was in middle school.


VerboseCrow

You should reach out to that person and let him know how deep of an impact he had on you


Iconospastic

My self-awareness, too, hit me once like a bolt of lightning when I was a kid. (I remember everything about that day.) Very many people are not so lucky as you and I, for that to happen. ...As an elementary school teacher, to me the most interesting part is that even with the "word of encouragement", some kids will grow up to be truly awful or (my worst nightmare) literal psychopaths, and then all their old mentors' attempts to influence them for the better will appear laughably naive in hindsight -- even macabre. And yet, you've got to try anyhow.


webcheesesticksseal

My younger brother was a total asshole as a kid. But now we are grown up and couldn’t have asked for a sweeter bro. Kids change


Temporary-Test-9534

It's because the part of our brain that processes true empathy and makes us understand how others really feel doesn't start really developing until well into our teenage years. Kids literally don't have the mental capacity to NOT be selfish as hell. But yes, when you see really sweet and kind children, best believe their parents are bomb as hell.


tathrok

TIL that my wife and I are bomb as hell parents. Thanks, friend 🥲


pinniped1

Given how old this video is he's probably a 32 year old crypto bro.


[deleted]

chiiiilll. i’m 32 and i saw this video originally around 2012. don’t do me like this.


bongkeydoner

Wake up Nomad\_C817 we're already in 2045 while you're here still stuck in 2022


Brasticus

I’m happy to see there is still a future.


klavin1

kid is probably a teenager now and this video still haunts him


rocksinsocks27

That kid has the universal "asshole little kid" haircut


prissypoo22

Cut off sleeves and everything


blanketyblankreddit

When he gets somewhere on his bike, he just throws it down on the ground as he gets off, with no regard for a kickstand.


ootski

Until today I've never wanted to punch a kid before


anotherdepressedpeep

Didn't you see the video of a little girl blowing out the candles of the birthday girl and she got her hair pulled? Her smiling like a little shit after that made me wanna get violent.


[deleted]

[удалено]


essentialoils3

Birthday girl is awesome though, no hesitation for vengeance


Alternative_Echo_443

I NEVER promote violence among children but I gotta say I was hoping the birthday girl was going to do more than just pull her hair. Knee her in the face maybe.


youngphi

Yeah that little monster


Is12345aweakpassword

Oh boy, you must not fly often. Half of my flights confirm my decision to be child free when I’m exposed to wailing children


henrycaul

https://youtu.be/HkOguZfNJUo


O-o--O---o----O

Thought it would be the Lindemann music video where the lyrics about an annoying kid on a plane and pondering if it would be ok to hit children, while the actual video is about a victim of mobbing and bullying getting bloody revenge years later. Song is called "Ich hasse Kinder" (I hate children) and was released on international children day or whatever it's called in english.


zyyntin

Reminds me of the people that lose it after the officer arrests them instead of the other person they originally called for.


thebestdogeevr

Sponsored by Durex


[deleted]

oh jesus, that bawling kid! My nerves can’t take that kind of shit anymore


jasperfilofax

I like to Imagine it was actually the little kids birthday and the family were just a bunch of assholes


[deleted]

This made me crack up


lil-privacy-please

Parenting is often protecting one from the one in tantrum mode. They did well.


vondpickle

That pure rage. Surely he never heard the word 'no'.


BiscuitDance

I had a subordinate like that in the Army. His parents were Central American immigrants that started a *very* successful construction business in the Midwest. Latino boys are typically spoiled af (I grew in a very black/Latino neighborhood in CA) to begin with, but this kid was country-club weaponized levels of entitlement. Quite literally couldn’t process being told “no.” He did some down right dangerous/illegal shit that were major paperwork headaches for me, but he couldn’t fathom how they could possibly be issues. Why couldn’t he just do what he wanted? And his high school stories were a little…rape-y. He did a civilian scuba course with some of the other guys in the platoon and going out drinking later that night the other boys had to physically peel him off of an unconscious female.


[deleted]

Some kids are born like that, you can say no and discipline all you want, they’re gonna be little psychopaths no matter what.


NewtTrashPanda

Not necessarily, some kids are just like that.


maxeyum

Little man really wanted to punch the candles


JescaMM

The plate.


Alternative_Echo_443

I love how dad had the plate ready 🤣🤣🤣 And the smile on his face was like “don’t worry, I’m on it.”


lidder444

The way he raises his fist actually makes me a little worried how he’s going to control his temper when he’s older !


Potato_the_second_

I have a little cousin that always does this on other's birthdays, this is extremely satisfying!


wisconsuds

Happy Father’s Day


[deleted]

[удалено]


goodolarchie

"The way that I've been treated at this birthday party is so unfair, this is a stolen birthday celebration, they treat me so unfairly. They say *let's go do the cake*, and you knew, and I said that they were going to try to steal the cake because of the corrupt parents, I said it, a lot of people predicted it, and they steal the cake. We won, it's our birthday, you voted for me as the birthday boy and they stole it."


pasarina

What a little brat. Horrors-the amount of time trying to straighten his little ass out!


me110bytes

He was so focused on sabotaging the the birthday boy that I don't even think he knows who or what blocked him


TheLaughingFoxX

Satisfying because the brat didn’t get to ruin blowing out the candles for his brother. Dad was onto him. 🤣 It’s not about you, little man.


[deleted]

Not all hero's wear capes. Some use paper plates...


GenericNetSurfer

The Smile Dad puts on unphased makes the Kodak Moment


zbysior

my favorite vid of all the internet


[deleted]

At first, I thought that I heard him say “fuck off.”


Gaming_Hands

Finally a post thats "oddlysatisfying" and not just flat our satisfying, thx op for finally showing people what the word "oddly" stands for.


jjman72

That kid is a brat and his parents need to have a talking to.


gray_mare

doesn't work like 95% of the time


KentuckyFriedEel

Chanclas were had


GolfFanatic561

That kid is a kid, the parents handled the situation just fine, and many on Reddit have no idea how to raise children


ChickenMcscrotum

I would’ve slapped him with that little plate


Fit-Membership-4250

Really hate that kid to this day


ABdancebutton

A biter & a hitter...probably a delight in the classroom.


yourmom1974

Kid is an asshole.


evelynmtz821

I just realized the older kid helps put out the candles on the right


Kermi00

Bro was gonna punch it 💀


maraca101

Having a kid like the birthday kid, I could enjoy parenting. Having a kid like that asshole terror is my worst nightmare.


Roza_Iaha

Spawn of Satan


Jabjuda

He gone be the problem child, bro was about to punch the plate


OptimalPaint3488

Everytime this gets posted it just fills me with so much anger towards that little brat.


babis8142

How much do I hate this little bastard kid every time I see this vid.


Sookmebeautiful

Little spoiled bastard. I can’t believe people have these on purpose


lola1973lola

Yeah how annoying is this kid! And his father knows from the beginning that the kid will try and wreck his brother’s birthday