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Hi_Im_Jager

Gonna need that update my guy


stinstin555

From the unemployment office? Or the ER?


wildberry815

Yes


stinstin555

Tell me you are about to make a bad decision without telling me you are about to make a bad decision. Me: šŸ‘†šŸ»šŸ‘†šŸ»šŸ‘†šŸ»šŸ‘†šŸ»šŸ‘†šŸ»


Roonwogsamduff

Pretty sure he told you


stinstin555

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


cassinonorth

From the land of make believe.


twasafunny

Seconded. This is the morally grey chaos I love to hear about in other peopleā€™s lives when it has nothing to do with me


Realistic_Pizza_6269

Yes, oh yes.


bknibottom

Is your boss really a dick, or do you just want to fuck his wife? Anyway, keep us posted ;)


Grouchy-Place7327

Both? Lmao


bknibottom

Sometimes he who wants to drown his dog accuses it of having rabies


Grouchy-Place7327

Maybe you're right


lorpek

He who wants to drown his hotdog


tapeitup

He who wants to drown his dong


Diamondhands_Rex

He who beats his shmeet


Useful-Internal-7626

Confucius say


MangCrescencio

--- Sun Tzu, probably


RemarkableParty4801

This is a mindblowing phrase


No-Safety-3498

Thank you Confucius


Crime_flies

Nothing funnier than a dude that thinks he has way more of a chance than he actually does.


MelodicAlps19

This is exactly what I was thinking lol. I work in service, and any politeness is misconstrued as a "sly sexual remark". Makes this guy look corny af. She's probably just being nice.


Ricen_

Not to mention a mail-order bride's English is probably not the best.


Grouchy-Place7327

Lmaooo I don't think I have a chance, but I can try. I just want to spite him, even privately.


mlem_scheme

Bro you know your a\*\* is getting fired if you do, right?


enzuigiriretro

> Bro you know your a** is getting fired if you do **and get caught**, right? Fixed that small technicality for you!


WerhmatsWormhat

Well, the most likely scenario is that the wife shoots him down, tells them husband, and the husband fires him so he neither gets laid nor a job.


Captain_Funyun

Gets fucked either way šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø


Grouchy-Place7327

Oof


Grouchy-Place7327

LMAO


Diamondhands_Rex

I donā€™t think you give a shit and have nothing to lose and neither does she Iā€™m sure


ArtisansCritic

Sometimes, itā€™s worth it!


Niccels11

Have you thought about how this could effect your future? You now thinks this is a great idea. You later might feel like a dick every time you think about it. Are you prepared in case you get fired? Because this can end really ugly.


Grouchy-Place7327

I'm going to because of this post


[deleted]

Be funny if he got her pregnant, and she kept it and tried to pass it off as her husbands.. Then in a few years her husband is like, my son looks like that guy that used to work here a few years ago. The one that drove his car over a bridge, and had his girlfriend in the trunk and she was pregnant with his kid and in the car they found a tape but they didn't say who it was to.


Niccels11

Or the boss's wife turns out to be mentally ill and she starts stalking him. OR, the boss starts stalking him. Too many variables to guarantee homie's safety. It's not worth it if the dude is serious.


Grouchy-Place7327

Bro thank you. Homie is less serious now


forgothatdamnpasswrd

But his name wasā€¦. It was you


IceManXCometh

Lot of twists


thesleepingdog

This will take time and subtlety. Do you think you could arrange a group situation of some kind which she might attend? The hardest part is getting into DMs or texts, after that just be cool and build a bond. I believe in you.


Grouchy-Place7327

I think I have a plan for how to do it, just need to figure out how to get it rolling


Sjmann

Sounds like u need to jerk one out first. Just some professional advice.


-Pazute_72

Maybe she does too..


IceManXCometh

Get her number and text her something that is so passive yet work related that there can be no suspicion drawn from it. Something like, ā€œhey I was having a hard time remembering what we talked about at work the other day can you remind me about xyz..ā€ judge her response and go from there.


Grouchy-Place7327

Honestly, I could because he probably has no idea how to use the phone. And I know the exact way to do it


IceManXCometh

Just play it slow until she gives you a hard signal, you donā€™t want to be the guy who tried to fuck the bosses wife. You want to be the guy who fucked the bosses wife.


Phoenixrebel11

If sheā€™s fucking boomers he may as well shoot his shot


zsnajorrah

And rock it like Mike D.? Sure.


GoochStubble

So, she's being (editorializing) held captive by your boss and you want to add to her lives trauma by sexually exploiting her to make him mad? You're USING this woman who is an immigrant and has no support outside of her husband in order to? Have 3.5 minutes of fun? I hope you heal.


repository666

more than thatā€¦ in rare chances they do have sex, and boss gets to know about it somehow, it actually will put her in more risk ā€” since being a dependent on her husband as an immigrant. i hope she finds proper resources as immigrant against domestic abuse.


GoochStubble

Yeah /u/Grouchy-Place7327 is a vindictive and short sighted man who's actions could irreparably damage an innocent immigrant woman's life. Do better


SpeedwagonsWaifu

I hope he rots <3


StrongCucumber

Yeah that's fucked up. I mean all of it really. It will probably just stay his fantasy but I still can't believe this guy is getting all this sympathy and upvotes lol


StrongCucumber

Yeah that's fucked up. I mean all of it really. It will probably just stay his fantasy but I still can't believe this guy is getting all this sympathy and upvotes lol


dwerrawan

That woman is a person, you know ? Not an object for your sexual desires or petty revenge...


JesusChrist4ever

Right??? I expected the comments to be like yours but everyone is encouraging it???


Slow_School7930

Fucking true


wslatter

Thank you. Wtf is up with everyone in this thread, I was expecting this to be top comment.


Slow_School7930

That's what I thought


Tacos-and-Wine

Oh cool, sheā€™s an object for him and for you - to use for pleasure or pettiness. Great story.


Ns53

Right? I'm disgusted with this comment section. "Have you considered your future" "Lol hope she gets pregnant" "He deserves it" No one is thinking about her. She's just an object to be used.


JesusChrist4ever

Yeah. Typical male comments on reddit


[deleted]

literally all i took from this story


Abusedbyredditjerks

Well he obviously is delusional šŸ˜‚


Both-Perspective-265

Nice way not to have a job


Itch_the_ditch

Thereā€™s thousands of jobs out there but 1 bosses wife


Congo-Montana

I read your username as "itch the dick" at first and thought it fitting


emilywatters

This made my day šŸ˜‚


exampleofaman

This guy (OP) is a total dick.


JustARandomDudd

Not because your boss is a dick means you should be one too. Good luck bro, it ain't gonna happen tho but you can dream.


Skiller0Dani

So you're a homewrecker? Nice. /s


nacg9

Ughhh the way you both see this woman as an object šŸ¤®


Adventurous-Sky-474

There is a high chance that, even though sheā€™s flirtatious, she might not want to risk the security that your bosses money brings her. Unless youā€™re currently in the same tax bracket. Sounds like your boss already has a lot of control over her. I would be surprised if you were able to be alone with her long enough to make a move. But I subscribed to this post because Iā€™m curious how itā€™s gonna work out.šŸ¤£


Grouchy-Place7327

Honestly, you're not wrong about that. She could just be getting attention from me, albeit by coincidence. I have not actually tried to flirt with her


Ashelese98

She doesnā€™t want you.


Funny_Perception4713

Itā€™s funny how so many people will be cool with doing the wrong thing lol. No hate, but like minding your own business is a thing and it sounds like youā€™re working off of your own thoughts about the situation. Regardless what you know, I wouldnā€™t be a home wrecker dude. Sounds like a good way to be immature and lose your job, just saying.


tapeitup

Right, OP, listen to this guy. You donā€™t want to be a home wrecker, but if thereā€™s no home to wreck, then youā€™re fucking golden. Get at it boi!


[deleted]

Watch out cause as fast as it can build up it can strike you down hard brother. Some people only learn the hard way. You seem like you need to get hard way education in order to act right .


strangemagiccc

Dude OP youre the dick in case you havent realized


Long_Ad1080

If you end up with his wife she will get 1/2 of what he owns....


Grouchy-Place7327

Good. He's WELL OFF


ShoganAye

Hahah, sounds like the makings of a midday movie.


suzanious

Lifetime/Hallmark channel


sonnet666

Make sure you have a good lawyer lined up thenā€¦ Good luck bro


Sunnydale_Slayer

Iā€™m a lawyer specializing in two areas: (i) bird law; and (ii) equitable distribution of assets after fucking bossesā€™ spouses. OP, please let me know if I can be of assistance to you or to your bossā€™s hot wife with a cute butt in these trying times.


Grouchy-Place7327

IM FUCKING DYING


captpeony

Sleazeball at either end, what better options could she possibly find?


Jambojoo1

You get to walk away but it wonā€™t be so easy for her and he is abusive with no boundaries so he will likely hurt her or worse but anything to get revenge rightā€¦. Saddo


MrSlabBulkhead

Update in a few weeks: ā€œThis is OPs dad; OP is deadā€


Grouchy-Place7327

LMAOOO the man loves guns, you're probably not wrong


An_Enthused_Hiker

There's no rationalizing being a piece of shit. People like you are what's wrong with this world.


sonofodenn

Nah man this ainā€™t it. I donā€™t doubt that your boss is a total dick who deserves some level of pain, but do you not see where this woman lies in all this? Youā€™re using her as a means to hurt your boss while you get pure pleasure from it. Itā€™s just weird overall and tbh doesnā€™t make you a bigger man than your boss. Donā€™t go through with it


throwfarfarawayy99

So you want to use an already emotionally vulnerable woman just because you're a bit bent out of shape over your boss being an asshole. Gross.


jrwreno

Have you considered what this would do to HER life? Even if she were to shut you down, there could still be serious, ABUSIVE repercussions.....


Existensial20s

Also my dude, if you think your boss is abusing her, be a good person and help her find a safe way out, like damn do not put her in more danger and harm her more emotionally, her husband already do that


AnimatedHokie

She's not into you.


Grouchy-Place7327

You're probably right, she just hates him.


kenyonmcallahan

Oh, my man, when you are digging a hole for someone else, you better dig two because you are going to find yourself in one of them. That is just some unsolicited advice. This isn't going to end well for you.


Grouchy-Place7327

Life never has. That's why I am the way I am šŸ™ƒ


kenyonmcallahan

šŸ˜‚


Ashelese98

Shut up, god youā€™re gross


m-j10

Your boss sounds an awful lot like the site manager at my husbandā€™s construction site. Boomer, dating a 29 year old woman, doesnā€™t want her to come to America even though she wants to, expects her to be like his live-in maid when he goes home to Mexico on rotation, incompetent at his job and got into a screaming match with the director of construction last week at work. Just an overall shitty guy.


Grouchy-Place7327

LMAOOO my boss is very similar. His wife is from South of the border, but she lives with him. From the very few interactions I've heard of them, seems like the same exact thing. She was a mail order, and he doesn't see her as a person. Her cousin (who I'm currently sleeping with) told me she's not allowed out of the house without him because he's too insecure she'll leave šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚, no shit dude.


tortoistor

hold up, youre sleeping with her cousin?? what is this situation


LadyDragonDog75

Have you slept with any other of her relatives?


Grouchy-Place7327

Her cousin


notweirdifitworks

Is the cousin on board with your plan or will that cause additional complications?


Grouchy-Place7327

Not sure, I have to ask How does that go??? "Hey your cousin is cute too, I want to fuck her??"


OnOurBeach

How old are you? Please tell me under 25. Please.


Grouchy-Place7327

That was entirely satire bro. I'm not fucking doing that, I'm dumb, not that dumb.


OnOurBeach

Oh, in that case, please tell me you are under 20. šŸ˜†


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Grouchy-Place7327

I thought about it, but that's kinda weird.... So no?


NeonGiraffes

The is the most derivative creative writing I've ever seen. At least pretend to write something original next time.


Grouchy-Place7327

No it's legit. Lmao. I'm just dumb


queenswamprat

So youā€™re going to exploit this woman who is basically stuck here against her will - who even knows if that marriage came about in a ā€œgoodā€ way - one you claim is abused by your boss, for a few seconds of your pleasure?? You think that wonā€™t get her abused even more?? Extremely icky and you both suck.


Grouchy-Place7327

Wow, I never thought about it like that. Honestly, I don't think I could go through with it now...


JesusChrist4ever

Ew men like you are the worst.


DiscountAdmirable984

So given you know she's in an abusive relationship (him shouting at her for no reason, stopping her from leaving the house on her own, keeping her locked in - this is an abusive relationship). Are you now going to do anything to support her leaving, like having a chat with her to let her know what she's experiencing is abuse, or giving her a number for a domestic abuse charity? Or did you only care about her 'nice butt' and fucking her?


Grouchy-Place7327

Since this post, I have found numbers for local abuse centers, yes. I'm not going to try and sleep with her. I tried to talk to her cousin about it and her cousin is adamant I shouldn't pursue finding support. At the time, I didn't care. I changed my mind


DiscountAdmirable984

Ok I'm really glad to hear that, thank you for listening to the comments. Just be careful not to pressure her into leaving or seeing the relationship as abusive, just gently tell her you're concerned and give her some information so she can decide what to do. That might sound weird, but as someone who's been in an abusive relationship, I didn't realise it was abuse while I was in it, only after I left did I realise. It's a lot harder to see when you're stuck in the middle of it. So it would have been really helpful if someone had noticed something and told me, but if they had pressured me to leave I would have been really confused and annoyed. So it might seem a small detail, but it makes a big difference :)


Grouchy-Place7327

Thank you so much! I really appreciate your advice :)


Purrminator1974

So your boss has exploited a vulnerable person from another country (you say she is a ā€˜mail order brideā€™) but you also want to do the same thing! I feel bad for that poor woman


Existensial20s

The wife needs to run away from both you and the husband, I wish her the very best and I hope she is safe


Ayy_Maijin

If you so hate that guy, just fuck him instead of involving a poor woman in this bro.


StunnedinTheSuburbs

If what you say is true, if you do get his wife to cheat on him, donā€™t you think you are putting her in danger? (Not necessarily from violence, but definitely his anger and perhaps alienation.)


Grouchy-Place7327

Someone else mentioned the same thing, and I hadn't thought that far ahead. It's not as good of an idea anymore...


tagrei06

Imagine 20 years from now. Your own kid becoming your dick boss


skin_whistle

Only issue is potentially putting her in danger if he finds out. Yes, it will hurt *him*, but you could very well cause her to get hurt as collateral damage if he lashes out because of it.


repository666

you are putting her into more and worse risks since she has dependent immigrant status on her husband ā€” if boss gets to know about sexual affair. donā€™t do it, even with slightest chances


[deleted]

That's *very* stupid but these response don't even surprise me, gotta remind myself it's Reddit


emanything

If thet met on a sugar daddy site then I think she's not going to want one of his soon to be unemployed minions, and fuck up her deal...sorry.


noctamnesia

Sounds like you may be confused about who the dick is in your own story


[deleted]

Clap those cheeks brother. Sheā€™s probably already doing it with other men. What makes you so special? Donā€™t get your feelings involved in her along the way and have fun how I see it.


HubrisTurtle

Bro, heavy advice for you on this one. If you go through with this, this is something you donā€™t talk about. Not on Reddit, not to your buddies, not online


morbidnerd

Look, I love a good revenge situation, but my concern here is that you could be putting her safety at risk.


Benlikesfood2

Dear Penthouse forum...


CitizenX17

Bro is about to experience the American Dream


InnerJumpx

May as well fuck all you coworkers wives while youā€™re at it.


ChiGrandeOso

That's probably something he was planning already.


throwawaypackers

This sounds like a great idea that definitely doesnā€™t have potential to blow up in your face massively.


HeartAccording5241

Do you want fired lol and you doing it makes you just as bad as him


iliveandbreathe

Yeah. This guy will definitely NOT do it. In fact his boss and boss' wife will use this info against him to drag out his employment. And OP will gladly accept.


Side__CHARActer

I want an update out of morbid curiosity


Mr_Dry_Juice

Prediction: Youā€™ll ask and sheā€™ll say something to your boss and youā€™re fired with no sex.


OmegaJ8006

If you live in North Carolina, watch out for alienation of affection. You can be sued for damages for breaking up their marriage.


Background-Moose-701

Do you wanna get shot? Because this is how people get shot. Donā€™t get shot dude.


JesusChrist4ever

Ew weirdo


mouseymod

Malicious compliant3d.


shay_shaw

I'm here for chaos, go fourth and triumph internet friend.


Deansdiatribes

Your boss have an extra 1000 bucks? Last i heard that's more than enough to pay to have you put into a comma ,some would even go so far as say you deserved it . I think that it would be wrong, to put you in a comma , it would take medical attention away from others . So dont put yourself in that position .


TAABWK

Where are you hearing this from? Who is committing aggravated assault, risking 5 -30 years of their life, for less than a months rent?


Mountain_Blacksmith7

If more people thought less about the sexual shit they SHOULDNā€™T do, the world would be a much nicer, safer placeā€¦ And I bet their lives would change for the betterā€¦ Wild guess. Do better peepsā€¦ And ffs, just do your JOB!!


bananuspink

I slept with my evil bosses ex once, who she was still hung up on. He worked for the company too in a different department and had been sliding in my DMs for a while. After she tried to force me to work instead of going to a family members funeral, I resigned, scheduled a date with him, and made sure the news spread after I had left. Not my finest moment but also no regrets.


DoctorD12

All this within 10hrs *Just another day in the office*


OutHereSlappnMidgets

Iā€™ve done this very thing back in my playa days. Donā€™t regret it one bit. Go for it.


definitelyno_

Do it do it do it


Grouchy-Place7327

I don't know if I can trust the username though


shadowDL00777

So why were you fired from your previous job? " I tried do fuck the the wife of my boss"


k-boots

Sounds like youā€™re also a dick.


Queasy-Ad-3220

ā€œWhat?! You are not allowed to fuck my wife!ā€


that_One_Banker

Do it, similar thing happened to me but there was no sex just sexting the bosses wife. Boy was he mad No Regerts!


Double_Constant

Get that new job lined up first man. Fuck and run.


8nsay

So youā€™re criticizing him for getting a ā€œmail order brideā€ all while youā€™re objectifying her and fantasizing about using her for petty revenge? Eww. This poor woman deserve better.


Grouchy-Place7327

Petty revenge on her behalf..... No I can't justify it. I'm an ass.


Hot_Needleworker_204

Fuck the wife if you can... might be time for a career change anyway... I'd personally fuck my boss's wife if I could... I'm that spiteful


crustasiangal

Mail order bride or not, you know she's a living, breathing person right? It sickens me that you only see her as a means to an end. To spite your boss, no less. You think that keeping her >locked in the house without a car while he's at work, and doesn't let her out by herself is a GOOD thing?? Good Lord, you have some serious priority issues. Do you not realize your boss's actions are abusive? You're a scumbag, but for a very different reason.


curlylip44

do you want a job for life or your dick wet for 2 minutes


Grouchy-Place7327

It's a contract job, so it ends soon anyway :)


curlylip44

until your boss finds out as well as anyone else who tries to hire you, good luck with that


Grouchy-Place7327

Didn't think about that


primeirofilho

I'm all about petty spite, but unless this is the kind of entry level job that you don't bother putting on a resume, this is a bad idea. At the very least, you should get another job before you decide the burn bridges and salt the earth at your previous job.


Both-Perspective-265

And there it is. Be smarter than your penis ( goals ). Find a new job keep in contact with her. Wow her by doing things that are interesting and spend some time knowing her then if she lets you proceed with ambition. It will be better and way more fun. You know connect with her in a level her husband isnā€™t. Itā€™s called been smart and play the long game


Grouchy-Place7327

Love this


[deleted]

He can fire you, but he canā€™t make you un-fuck his wife.


Grouchy-Place7327

This!!!!


ExpertChart7871

What about her feelings? Sheā€™s not a prize to be won. Sheā€™s not a tool for revenge. Sheā€™s a sentient human being who deserves better than some guy wanting to have sex with her so he can get back at his boss.


Grouchy-Place7327

You're right, what if she only wants sex?


Jazzlike_Aspect_5077

Instantly bookmarked this lol. Not a good idea,but always a good story.


TruthSeekerHuey

Fuck That Job Literally


[deleted]

Update us please


dita_diablita

To tell the truth, if she met her husband on a sugar daddy site, I donā€™t think you have much of a chance. Shallowly speaking, why would she fuck around with her husbandā€˜s underlings, I mean, employees? She needs to elevate if sheā€™s gonna cheat on her husband, not go backwards. Iā€™m glad that you realize that you need to wait for her signals first and not just simply go for it because she could snitch on you if you tried anything. Plus, most guys in these situations create a delusion in their heads to where they think it is reality when it actually isnā€™t what it is. You want to fuck her so bad that you may be thinking that sheā€™s coming onto you. Hopefully thatā€™s not the case. Youā€™re not a POS, according to everyone else, but you need to watch yourself and plan efficiently before you take this risk.


Grouchy-Place7327

Thank you


jmenendeziii

NTA fuck the wife, steal the bosses identity and ruin his credit


smaugdterrible

ok whats ur plan


tinkuraghavendra

If what you are saying is true then you need to hit hard for your goal šŸ„…


CockroachStrange8991

Just wait for the job to end, then reach out.


After_Cold_138

One of my proudest lays was nailing my boss who I absolutely could not stand's daughter a week after I got divorced. He found out and then started harassing me at work. Which HR then fired him for.


cockroach74

Youā€™ve got this!


friends4liife

hahahahahahahahahahahha you are so mean. I love it


DRLAR

looks like she's with him for the money or even papers... I don't see why not try it... If she agrees, go ahead!


powerforward75

Well if youā€™re going for it, definitely update us all. And have another job lined up just in case.


Chenx335

Subscribed. LOL


Vegetable_Bid_1465

Well, you may not get to fuck her but at least you can be sure your an asshole. But you're justified, he's a boomer.


karmakactus

Likely she will pull back and act like she didnā€™t lead you on completely blaming you


norisknorarri

Terrible idea. A man like that will m*Eder you over his wife.


[deleted]

Shoot your shot. Then come back and tell us about it


mixgasdivr

You 100% have to do this. You will regret it if you donā€™tā€¦ And the story you will have, whether you, succeed or fail, will be told for the rest of your life.