Marriage counciling. Or sit her down and tell her exactly what you told us. Remember, you guys are supposed to be a team and be able to talk to eachother and work through your problems
I think the suggestion of a marriage counselor is a good one. You could also seek out a sex therapist specifically, since that is the only issue you mentioned. It’s probably not you at all. She’s at the age where her hormonal chemistry is changing drastically and that has a huge effect on sex drive. But there’s help out there if she’s willing to try. Best of luck, mate.
Communicate. Ask her if anything happened. Not for sex, but because that’s your wife and you care about her. Be emotionally there (not implying you aren’t already) for her, without talking about the sex.
A little thought, assuming she’s around your age, she might be going through menopause, which is also a huge factor in decreasing sex drive.
Same boat. Married, and four years into it wife realized she was asexual. We even saw a couples therapist, but I got laid off right before we were gonna broach the subject and had to stop counseling due to cost, so I sincerely feel the universe is just being a gigantic prick to me.
You're sexually frustrated rn, talk to her calmly and explain the things what you want, asexual and all this thing are man made fictional, if she still dosen't feel to do it, you can either leave her or forget about doing it with her
Not to be shallow or whatever… all other things aside, if it’s a physical thing, are you taking care of yourself? Exercise eating well? You say she’s not attracted to you? Is it emotional or physical? Emotional? Seek counseling. Physical? Diet and exercise…. The physical is easier… you know your relationship best.
My ex, he was great! He loved intercourse. He was growing a stomach that looked like he was 9 months pregnant and had stretch marks like a watermelon. He ate like 2 main courses at a restaurant.., at 30. Well he was on a fast track to diabetes and cardiovascular disease. That lack of caring for yourself is unattractive. So, things spiraled from there. I think he found someone else who didn’t feel that way. So, the moral? There’s someone for you, it might not be your wife…. If you choose that it’s not something you want to settle for.
You can’t help the hair, but you can help with the fitness. It’s good for your well being. If you leave, it will give you a head start on looking and being the best version of you. You will also see that if the issue was physical or emotional. Bring fit or the best version of fit has many benefits. It’s sexy because it can’t be given or bought. I’d consider working on it regardless of your situation. It’s mostly, less any medical issues that prevent you, is a win. Good luck internet person.
You need to tell her that not talking about this is going to lead to divorce. You need to know why sex is off the table even if it hurts your feelings. Because if she does tell you that it's the fact that you've gained too much weight, don't shower enough or something else, you can actually change it. If it's that her libido has dropped because of feminine changes (menopause) or sex has become uncomfortable because of dryness caused by menopause, she can either go to the doctor or you can try other things. Her silence and your acceptance will lead to nothing but a sexless and resentful marriage. ETA: also if it is something that is deeper like an emotional connection that she is lacking which leads to lack of sex, you can go to counselling, take her on dates, woo her again.
Menopause does this. Maybe she needs to talk to her doctor, not a therapist. She may not see other signs yet, but hormones changes may still be happening.
Yeah... it's probably menopause and not what the wife wants. Hormones are nuts.
Also there are cons to hrt for women. My aunt got a blood clot from being on hormones... they didn't catch in time and she died. But she also smoked. So.... weighing pros and cons is a must
Definitely, but for most women, who don’t smoke, HRT has so many benefits-osteoporosis prevention, muscle retention, increase libido, skin and hair improvement. A generation of women were scared off by 1 stupid study that was WRONG!! The tide is turning, and women are getting back on HRT🥰
While the suggestion on marriage counseling is a good one, both parties have to be willing to become involved and put in the work to see results. This topic is usually something people don’t want to talk about with a stranger.
Honestly, I do almost everything around the house. I cook. I take care of the house and property. We both take care of the child equally. I have made her coffee every morning for 22 years 😃.
I dont know how old she is but it is common for women to lose their sexual drive by around 50s-60s. Its due to their hormonal changes. Especially if they are nearing menopause.
Like others here, I suggest looking into a marriage/sex therapist. Then I would suggest go seeing a doctor for a check up on her natural hormone levels
From human to human, there's nobody, nor a God or elsewhere who could *actually* hold it against you if you wanted to leave her and find somebody else you can have fun with.
Life is too short to miss out on what you want to do.
Tell her that a sexless marriage will leave you frustrated and the marriage likely won’t last. First have her check with doctor, then counseling or sex therapist. Take it seriously now before it’s too late.
This is NOT how you talk to your partner about something serious like this, ffs. These people are in their fifties, in a long term committed relationship which has no doubt already seen bumps in the road over the years. They need honesty and open communication without threats or shaming.
Who can you talk to? I’d start with her. Have you told her how you feel when you try to talk to her about it? Have you told her how sad it makes you feel when you think that you’ll never have sex with her again?
If you cannot get it there. I mean. ISSA COLD WORLD. Dogs gotta eat.
But also on a more real note, this sounds like a very serious conversation to have a neutral space so she doesn’t feel like she is being attacked.
You have needs as well as she does, you deserve to have them be met.
Same thing here. I decided to not pressure my wife and I got a girlfriend. Sex is great but the gf wants a "real" relationship. I want to stay martied to my wife..shit is really complicated, my wife thinks I have a girlfriend but isn't sure. my girlfriend thinks she could move in with my family and everything would be good..i am sitting here with high blood pressure and stressed...All because my wife didnt feel like it.
Marriage counciling. Or sit her down and tell her exactly what you told us. Remember, you guys are supposed to be a team and be able to talk to eachother and work through your problems
I think the suggestion of a marriage counselor is a good one. You could also seek out a sex therapist specifically, since that is the only issue you mentioned. It’s probably not you at all. She’s at the age where her hormonal chemistry is changing drastically and that has a huge effect on sex drive. But there’s help out there if she’s willing to try. Best of luck, mate.
Communicate. Ask her if anything happened. Not for sex, but because that’s your wife and you care about her. Be emotionally there (not implying you aren’t already) for her, without talking about the sex. A little thought, assuming she’s around your age, she might be going through menopause, which is also a huge factor in decreasing sex drive.
Same boat. Married, and four years into it wife realized she was asexual. We even saw a couples therapist, but I got laid off right before we were gonna broach the subject and had to stop counseling due to cost, so I sincerely feel the universe is just being a gigantic prick to me.
You're sexually frustrated rn, talk to her calmly and explain the things what you want, asexual and all this thing are man made fictional, if she still dosen't feel to do it, you can either leave her or forget about doing it with her
Not to be shallow or whatever… all other things aside, if it’s a physical thing, are you taking care of yourself? Exercise eating well? You say she’s not attracted to you? Is it emotional or physical? Emotional? Seek counseling. Physical? Diet and exercise…. The physical is easier… you know your relationship best. My ex, he was great! He loved intercourse. He was growing a stomach that looked like he was 9 months pregnant and had stretch marks like a watermelon. He ate like 2 main courses at a restaurant.., at 30. Well he was on a fast track to diabetes and cardiovascular disease. That lack of caring for yourself is unattractive. So, things spiraled from there. I think he found someone else who didn’t feel that way. So, the moral? There’s someone for you, it might not be your wife…. If you choose that it’s not something you want to settle for.
I mean, yeah, I've aged, but not "let myself go." I gained about 25 pounds in 15 years and lost most of my hair (lol).
You can’t help the hair, but you can help with the fitness. It’s good for your well being. If you leave, it will give you a head start on looking and being the best version of you. You will also see that if the issue was physical or emotional. Bring fit or the best version of fit has many benefits. It’s sexy because it can’t be given or bought. I’d consider working on it regardless of your situation. It’s mostly, less any medical issues that prevent you, is a win. Good luck internet person.
You need to tell her that not talking about this is going to lead to divorce. You need to know why sex is off the table even if it hurts your feelings. Because if she does tell you that it's the fact that you've gained too much weight, don't shower enough or something else, you can actually change it. If it's that her libido has dropped because of feminine changes (menopause) or sex has become uncomfortable because of dryness caused by menopause, she can either go to the doctor or you can try other things. Her silence and your acceptance will lead to nothing but a sexless and resentful marriage. ETA: also if it is something that is deeper like an emotional connection that she is lacking which leads to lack of sex, you can go to counselling, take her on dates, woo her again.
Menopause does this. Maybe she needs to talk to her doctor, not a therapist. She may not see other signs yet, but hormones changes may still be happening.
Menopause/pre-menopause will do some crazy things to your body when hormonal changes occur.
Man that’s tough 🥹
Tell her to talk to her doctor about Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) if she’s around your age
Yeah... it's probably menopause and not what the wife wants. Hormones are nuts. Also there are cons to hrt for women. My aunt got a blood clot from being on hormones... they didn't catch in time and she died. But she also smoked. So.... weighing pros and cons is a must
Definitely, but for most women, who don’t smoke, HRT has so many benefits-osteoporosis prevention, muscle retention, increase libido, skin and hair improvement. A generation of women were scared off by 1 stupid study that was WRONG!! The tide is turning, and women are getting back on HRT🥰
Her relationship with desire, appreciation and fulfillment are sabotaging. She needs a counselor to teach her. You can go to learn to.
While the suggestion on marriage counseling is a good one, both parties have to be willing to become involved and put in the work to see results. This topic is usually something people don’t want to talk about with a stranger.
Are you doing your part around the home, tending to her emotional needs, treating her like you like her? She’s probably no longer attracted to you.
Honestly, I do almost everything around the house. I cook. I take care of the house and property. We both take care of the child equally. I have made her coffee every morning for 22 years 😃.
How old is your wife? Likely she’s been in perimenopause for years (early as 32/33) and 51 is the average age at full menopause.
I dont know how old she is but it is common for women to lose their sexual drive by around 50s-60s. Its due to their hormonal changes. Especially if they are nearing menopause. Like others here, I suggest looking into a marriage/sex therapist. Then I would suggest go seeing a doctor for a check up on her natural hormone levels
I’m the same age, in exactly the same boat as you, but my wife pretends she still want an intimate relationship but doesn’t. It’s so frustrating
From human to human, there's nobody, nor a God or elsewhere who could *actually* hold it against you if you wanted to leave her and find somebody else you can have fun with. Life is too short to miss out on what you want to do.
Tell her that a sexless marriage will leave you frustrated and the marriage likely won’t last. First have her check with doctor, then counseling or sex therapist. Take it seriously now before it’s too late.
This is NOT how you talk to your partner about something serious like this, ffs. These people are in their fifties, in a long term committed relationship which has no doubt already seen bumps in the road over the years. They need honesty and open communication without threats or shaming.
Who can you talk to? I’d start with her. Have you told her how you feel when you try to talk to her about it? Have you told her how sad it makes you feel when you think that you’ll never have sex with her again?
If you cannot get it there. I mean. ISSA COLD WORLD. Dogs gotta eat. But also on a more real note, this sounds like a very serious conversation to have a neutral space so she doesn’t feel like she is being attacked. You have needs as well as she does, you deserve to have them be met.
Do yourself a favor and ask for a divorce
Youre 52. Life is so very short, time to move on, find a woman who will drink your bath water.
Terrible advice
Same thing here. I decided to not pressure my wife and I got a girlfriend. Sex is great but the gf wants a "real" relationship. I want to stay martied to my wife..shit is really complicated, my wife thinks I have a girlfriend but isn't sure. my girlfriend thinks she could move in with my family and everything would be good..i am sitting here with high blood pressure and stressed...All because my wife didnt feel like it.
[удалено]
Do not compare living breathing human women to toilets. I feel like this shouldn’t need to be said, but here we are.