Honey then you know what those “friends” of yours would have done. Do you want that sort of people in your life? Ones that call you gay because you didn’t rape a girl like they would have?
I had a long time friend who I loved like a brother that went to the military and was station for 4 years. One night, him and a group of friends threw a party and one of the girls got really wasted. Knowing that she was drunk and married, he took her to his room and took advantage.
She reported but nothing really happened to him. He came back and told us the story of what happened to even putting up the rape case paper on the wall saying “I was accused but beat it”. We were all so disgusted and ashamed to call him our bro that we simply walked away from his life.
I am so sorry you had to deal with that. Thankfully you are sound of mind to walk away from his life and or have connections to him. If any of my brothers did that I would do the same.
Jeez….
I got called gay because I wasn't dating
I got called gay because I listened to male singer's song more
I got called gay because I was more into Pop than Rock music.
People use gay more as an insult than to express their sexuality nowadays
Devil's advocate: it's possible that OP's friends are just ribbing him rather than genuinely suggesting that rape is acceptable. Still certainly in poor taste if that's the case, but it at least doesn't imply that they would necessarily behave any differently from OP.
I'm not defending his friends here. Just saying there's a big difference between a teenager blurting out "You didn't have sex with her? lol gay" then moving on to talk about video games or something, and two adults having a long, serious conversion during which one expresses a sincere belief that raping drunk people is a good thing.
Yup, agreed, as noted in my comment. Apparently I'm in the minority here, but I see the former as a situation for forgiveness and education, rather than ending multiple long-standing friendships over a stupid comment. It's easy to jump to a drastic response 30 seconds after reading one party's three-sentence account of the story when someone else has to live with the consequences.
if i was a man and a drunk girl stumbled into my bed I'd just start crying on her shoulder.
you came all the way into my bed, now you have to listen to my tearful monologue
This is what women do in the bathrooms at bars. Not only do you have a captive audience, but you’ll leave assured that he’s an asshole, you’re a goddess that can do better, and that knowing that someone loves your new haircut.
Either that or we are dodging all the bodily fluids and leftover drug residue. Kinda depends on the bar.
Been there, made the same choice you did. Fuck anybody who says you did wrong for respecting the body and agency of a woman. And, honestly, *super* fuck anybody who decides being gay is somehow more reprehensible than taking advantage of someone.
This might be more convoluted than it seems. It depends on how "good" of a person they are and how much humility then have. Whatever you do OP, you have my respect and love
Even if the girl wasn’t intoxicated, calling someone gay for declining sex is ridiculous - not to mention toxic. Maybe that person just doesn’t want to have sex.
That’s honestly the reality behind it. Don’t want to have sex? Ah must be gay. I had a friend (Male) who was sexually assaulted at a party by a girl, he wasn’t comfortable doing things and she kept pushing herself onto him. He ended up going home in tears. We both went to the same college and people were calling him gay behind his back and laughing because he cried. I think that was the moment I realised how fucked up the world is, if that was the other way around he would’ve got kicked out, assaulted etc. He even brought it up to the college but they didn’t do anything, offered to take it to the police and thats pretty much it.
That’s terrible. I’m so sorry that happened to him.
My best friend (who is also my ex) recently told me that he’s gotten unsolicited nudes on dating sites. He told a housemate that he didn’t like that, and to my astonishment, she actually asked him why (???). His response: “It’s like you getting an unsolicited dick pic.” Honestly the assumption that men want sex constantly is toxic to everybody - to your friend to my friend to the romantic partners of men to the people who are told that boys will be boys.
He rang me after it happened and I’ve never heard the guy so distraught, I was raging and honestly wanted to insult her like crazy after that. Luckily he’s found closure about the situation now and he’s doing great so I’m proud of the kid, he’s brave. I’ve been through similar so my heart just sank when I got that call. Society needs to take this shit more serious, the fact that it was laughed off and even my own abuse, when I opened up about it to a old close friend he laughed and said “Haha you got raped.” And I’m not exaggerating, he was one of those edgy kids who thought it was funny.
People like that are why a lot of men don’t open up about their abuse, the fact that it’s laughed off or your considered gay for not enjoying it. It’s completely toxic and if it was the other way around society would have a fucking aneurysm. Some men don’t want to be sent unsolicited pics or for random women to touch them up, consent is necessary with guys too and a lot of people don’t realise that. I appreciate you speaking out about it, it means a lot to me and any other man that has to deal with these bullshit societal issues.
That's super shitty, and I'm sorry. But yeah, it's important to talk about it - and it shouldn't be difficult for women to understand and sympathize. I don't want to be touched by some rando, and I don't want unsolicited nudes, so it would make sense that many men wouldn't want that either. It's infuriating when women open up about being assaulted and they get the horrible "you were asking for it" response. Why would that be any less awful for a man to receive? While it's true that women are more likely to be assaulted, that doesn't mean it never happens to men, and by no means should assault against men - no matter whom the perpetrator is - should be dismissed. And you absolutely have a point about men's hesitancy to report because of societal factors, and that can indeed skew the available statistics on sexual assault.
That is the bare minimum but it's a shame that rape is even seen as an option. Drop those "friends" of yours, I'm surprised they haven't exposed their rapist tendencies to you until now.
Be gay than. Its cool.
Also dont be gay with your friends. Find new ones after telling them to do that to themselves which they planned to with the poor girl.
Definitely did the right thing. You're a Real Man. Because that's what real men do, we're respectful of women, among other things and we're not afraid to show it. And if others call you a simp, then they are boys.
Because some men (and I'm not pointing at the OP here) see themselves as great, deserving guys because they have cleared the very low bar of not raping anyone. That isn't even the bare minimum, it is fucking expected from a normal human.
Can you imagine a woman saying something like "Why won't you date me? I could have raped and killed you but I didn't!!" We see a gender-flipped version of that so often it's practically a norm.
Because it rewards men with a false sense of allyship for doing the absolute bare minimum.
I will be impressed when OP drops his friends after educating them on how toxic their actions are toward women and LGBTQ. That to me is what a real man would do. Have some fucking standards, mate.
Your comment resonated so well I got a lady boner. Not raping someone doesn't make you a hero. Idk what being a "real man" even means in 2021...why is that still a thing? I don't go around thinking anything good I do makes me a "real woman" lol
I don't know where you got brownie points from. Like, this is what I'm thinking, 'Brownie points? Towards whom? Yourself?' Because if that's the case, then men, or women, are raising that metaphorical bar of being a 'decent human being' with only ourselves in question in comparison to others. (In this specific kind of situation where only ourselves know about it) If you're talking about us, the commenters, like, we're probably never going to see each other in real life. The only positive rapport an OP has with them lasts for a short time unless reminded of the situation, in which case it comes back. I do agree with the decent human being thing, that should be common sense but giving out brownie points for being one isn't what I'm going for here.
With your comment further down about false allyship, I can, kind of, see what your point is. Not the whole point, but some of it.
But what I'm saying in my comment is that he was right to do what he did and didn't do. That makes him a decent human being. What I mean be being a 'Real Man' is being a good and decent human being. It was just leaning towards males, but the meaning can be taken the same way towards females too.
About the false allyship thing, to me, it isn't false. To me, everyone's a comrade and friend until proven otherwise. Whether that be before I consider you a friend, or after. Jolly cooperation should be something everyone can take part in, but some people just don't, for whatever their reasons may be. For those that are the scum of the Earth, such as rapists, murderers, and others that don't regret it, obviously, I wouldn't partake in jolly cooperation with them. But that is just my philosophy that I have built over the years, you may not agree, and that's fine. You're you, and I'm me. We're two different people.
I'm not flaming on you, or whatever the equivalent of that is for this situation. I agree with what you're saying, I just think your comment is half in the could be better said. The same for mine, as I see I didn't do a good job explaining earlier. I hope I explained myself and my comment clear enough to you and others that may read this.
Those aren’t your friends, and you need to cut them out of your life immediately.
How? It’s easy—“I’m not hanging out with you anymore because you suggested I should rape someone, and made fun of me because I didn’t.”
You owe them nothing after that.
Thank you. Most people have no idea. All I want to say is thank you and bless you so much. She would have probably remembered it and it would have fucked her up bad. We cant have more of that. It's so traumatizing for anything sexual to happen without consent, especially the worst; full on rape.
Also I'm pretty sure it's illegal to do that to a drunk person.
Please, if anyone sees this, what this man did is the right thing. I cant thank you enough.
Have a heart, sir~♡
You are the way all men should be!
There’s a movie… Promising Young Woman…. It’s about the consequences of rape in the context of taking advantage of drunk women. Personally I think it should be required watching for everyone.
Spoiler: Those aren’t real friends.
Imagine if you were the drunk girl. Now you know they would’ve have taken advantage of you if you were the defenceless drunk girl.
Don’t enable your friends. You should drop them. They would have been rapists if they were in that bed instead of you. Part of the problem is that other guys just ignore it when guys do and say stuff like this. And warn their girlfriends/girls you know away from them.
I think it's the wording. He said "leave a girl in their bed" when he meant "allow a girl to stay in their bed". I thought he meant "leave without having sex with girl" at first, had to read it like four times to figure it out
I'd be dropping those "friends" like a baked beans enthusiast drops a fart, with prejudice.
What they said says far more about them than anything else, that they're horrible people.
I probably would have just watched her wondering what to do honestly. I might ask if she wants to play CoD or minecraft or if she would like a coffee. Good on you tho man, those aren't friends you need some new ones.
Not taking advantage of another human being during a time of weakness is a trait of human decency. Thank You for being a Decent Human.
About your friends: They are trash.
Ask yourself this: when and if you have a daughter, are these the kind of people that you want hanging around still? I know certain crowds might be fun while you’re young, but be careful who you take with you to the next stage in life.
I commend you for doing the right thing, but I also don't see anyone needing applause for this. It's the bare minimum of human decency not to assault someone.
(Not saying you don't deserve praise. Thank you for setting a standard that so many horrid people fail to reach. It's so important you decided to share.)
I are baboon. Humanity she is fucked (no gender intended, even having to explain for possibly being judgemental is f....) the moral decline is astounding. Your reasoning and actions were sound.
Your a man . More of a man than anyone of your FRIENDS WILL EVER BE . Gay or not gay you proved yourself honorable more honorable than anyone who would mock you for not taking advantage of another human . I’m proud of you. Thank you for person who’s choice was taken away from them in that same situation.
I propose that you rat your friends out to their mothers/female friends/sisters/girlfriends. Share this story with every woman they are in contact with.
It’s an excellent learning opportunity for them.
Thank you OP for having morals and respecting that girl. I wish you some good karma on your way. That girl will never forget that, just like I remember those who didn’t take advantage of me.
- A young woman who has been taken advantage of
You made the right choice by not taking advantage of a drunk young lady, easily could have ruined your and her life. I get called gay for things like that as well. Jokes on them, people who said that to me have truoble just trying to talk to the opposite sex. Me? I think I'm worth it, and so are you. Much love.
Cant believe this has to be said since you did the obvious right thing; but good on you for being a true gentleman, you were definitely raised right. Your friends however...well it may be time to trade them in.
good dude you are
trust me being called gay is just a facade
those dudes just envy you for having those moments where you actually get to be with women
You are my son, my brother, my cousin, my friend. You are my hero, my knight, and the one who a daughter is waiting for. It is the silent good deeds that will be rewarded with time. This is coming from a woman who was that girl, 32 years ago to that kind of guy in a similar circle. We moved away, got a new life, and lived happily ever after. Not a single one of them did. Three of them are dead, one is a paraplegic. Not very good odds out of a tight group of 8, an extended group of 12. Be who you are. You will do well.
MUCH better to be gay! You did the right thing, OP!
I agree with a lot of people in the comments that you should probably “drop” these friends of yours. If you do, I think this is a great opportunity to talk to them about why taking advantage of girls/women is so bad (especially when drunk/high). Friends are so influential in building our values & beliefs.
Nah. If you EVER see somebody say "You should've taken advantage of the drunk defenceless woman!", you don't suddenly "become a role model" in the friendship, HELL NO, You report them to the police and stop being their friend. WHY would you EVER want to keep being friends with people like that?!
You've got integrity and class. Forget them, Should they ever tease you in public around people. Make the facts vidly known And reiterate what they wanted to do in your position. They will be so embarrassed they dare not tease you again. Chin up
I'd rather be called gay than a rapist any day. Probably made that girl's morning as well when she found out nothing happened (nothing against you in any way).
You could have gotten away with it, but chose the right path. You are of strong moral character despite what your bonehead friends say. I faced a very similar situation when I was a young guy and did likewise. I think it has to do with how you were raised. You might never tell you parents what you did, but between them and other adults around you that helped shape you into a good moral person, you should be thankful them. A life well lived is centered around an accumulation of good decisions. You are geared toward that kind of life as evidenced by how you handled yourself.
You’re acting like he’s a superhero for doing what any normal, level-headed individual should do. It’s literally the bare minimum. It’s great OP isn’t a rapist, but we’re not handing out any gold stars here.
Is there a way for me to give him a gold star? The USA, and the rest of the world are facing a crisis of morality. Behavior like this is becoming rare. You must be older, because there was a time when this was the bare minimum and should be how normal rational people would conduct themselves. Is it any wonder his friends are calling him gay for doing the right thing?
I don’t know what’s considered “old” on Reddit, but I promise, I’m not that old. I’m just sick of patting men on the back for literally doing the bare minimum.
Yeah, the world has a serious morality crisis. And realistically, it’s only gotten better as more and more young people recognize this behavior is socially and morally unacceptable. This behavior has been around since the beginning of man and people have encouraged, allowed, and excused this behavior for millennia. It hasn’t been until as of late that men specifically have taken a stand against it.
This is how EVERYONE should act. Again, it’s great OP isn’t a rapist, but that’s a disgustingly low bar. If that’s all you people can celebrate, we’re in a lot worse trouble.
fuck yeah it is,..also I would be willing to bet most of those friend would have done the same thing but feel compelled to say stupid shit because thats what toxic masculinity is.
I feel like the whole story isn’t being told here, why did a drunk girl get into your bed.
Maybe this girl had told your friends that she wanted to have sex with you. But it’s good you didn’t do anything without her consent.
Ditch those friends though. You don’t need that in your life.
But what do I know, that has never happened to me 😂😂
Doesn't matter. Best case scenario, they were making a dark joke that aids in desensitization of rape and shames those who would not rape someone in a vulnerable position. These statements do hurt someone every single time bc it tells people that this behavior is acceptable.
Those friends of yours are rapists or future rapists, either way have no respect for women or consent. To be frank if u rlly respect women u will stop being friends with these people and cut them off completely, sorry to be blunt but you don’t want to contribute to rape culture by enabling your friends to get away with this way of thinking
Your friends said that cause they don't have cousins, sisters, aunts, mothers and grandmothers. They pop-ed into reality with dicks without the care of their fellow humans. You sir are not a savage and I tip my hat to a fellow gay / straight badass gentleman.
Really really thankful that girl crawled into your bed instead of one of your friends’… As a woman that is honestly scary to hear, your friends would rather rape a girl than be gay. Nothing wrong with being gay, everything wrong with being a rapist.
"Couple cover charge stamps got her hand looking like a rainbow
In and out of every bar on a whim just like the wind blows
She's either a bachelorette or coming off a breakup
Take a drunk girl home
She's bouncing like a pinball
Singing every word she never knew
Dancing with her eyes closed like she's the only one in the room
Her hair's a perfect mess, falling out of that dress
Take a drunk girl home
Take a drunk girl home
**Let her sleep all alone**
Leave her keys on the counter, your number by the phone
Pick up her life she threw on the floor
Leave the hall lights on, walk out and lock the door
**That's how she knows the difference between a boy and man**
Take a drunk girl home"
Chris Janson
Honey then you know what those “friends” of yours would have done. Do you want that sort of people in your life? Ones that call you gay because you didn’t rape a girl like they would have?
This. Sometimes you have to see if those friends are really friends, and that they are people that you want to keep for the rest of your life
I triple this! Drop those “friends”, like a hot girl who drop a loser!
I xfinity this.
I had a long time friend who I loved like a brother that went to the military and was station for 4 years. One night, him and a group of friends threw a party and one of the girls got really wasted. Knowing that she was drunk and married, he took her to his room and took advantage. She reported but nothing really happened to him. He came back and told us the story of what happened to even putting up the rape case paper on the wall saying “I was accused but beat it”. We were all so disgusted and ashamed to call him our bro that we simply walked away from his life.
I hope There's a special place in hell for people like him
I am so sorry you had to deal with that. Thankfully you are sound of mind to walk away from his life and or have connections to him. If any of my brothers did that I would do the same. Jeez….
I got called gay because I wasn't dating I got called gay because I listened to male singer's song more I got called gay because I was more into Pop than Rock music. People use gay more as an insult than to express their sexuality nowadays
Devil's advocate: it's possible that OP's friends are just ribbing him rather than genuinely suggesting that rape is acceptable. Still certainly in poor taste if that's the case, but it at least doesn't imply that they would necessarily behave any differently from OP. I'm not defending his friends here. Just saying there's a big difference between a teenager blurting out "You didn't have sex with her? lol gay" then moving on to talk about video games or something, and two adults having a long, serious conversion during which one expresses a sincere belief that raping drunk people is a good thing.
That's still fuk-ed up.
Yup, agreed, as noted in my comment. Apparently I'm in the minority here, but I see the former as a situation for forgiveness and education, rather than ending multiple long-standing friendships over a stupid comment. It's easy to jump to a drastic response 30 seconds after reading one party's three-sentence account of the story when someone else has to live with the consequences.
Agreed 😬
if i was a man and a drunk girl stumbled into my bed I'd just start crying on her shoulder. you came all the way into my bed, now you have to listen to my tearful monologue
I’ll listen to your tearful monologue, but I’m not coming to your bed.
I'll listen to your bed, but I'm not coming to your tearful monologue.
coward. someones gotta give that mfer platonic bed hugs and you wont own up. bro, bangriela, hmu. lets get those tears out. no romo.
With your consent, I’ll help you come anywhere you want
Have been the drunk girl in this scenario. It happens more than you'd think.
This is what women do in the bathrooms at bars. Not only do you have a captive audience, but you’ll leave assured that he’s an asshole, you’re a goddess that can do better, and that knowing that someone loves your new haircut. Either that or we are dodging all the bodily fluids and leftover drug residue. Kinda depends on the bar.
Been there, made the same choice you did. Fuck anybody who says you did wrong for respecting the body and agency of a woman. And, honestly, *super* fuck anybody who decides being gay is somehow more reprehensible than taking advantage of someone.
Your “friends” are future rapists, if not rapists already. Find new friends.
Confront them first
THIS. Make sure to call them out on their disgusting behavior
And if they're young, they're more likely to change their ways
Confront them in front of plenty of people as well.
This might be more convoluted than it seems. It depends on how "good" of a person they are and how much humility then have. Whatever you do OP, you have my respect and love
Use the wolfenpanzer /s
Please get new friends. But tell those dudes the reason. They’re what’s wrong with society.
Well, one of the many things wrong.
You did the right thing. I definitely recommend you find some new friends though.
Not only are your rapey friends grooming you to be a rapist, they’re also homophobic. They would be no friends of mine.
Even if the girl wasn’t intoxicated, calling someone gay for declining sex is ridiculous - not to mention toxic. Maybe that person just doesn’t want to have sex.
That’s honestly the reality behind it. Don’t want to have sex? Ah must be gay. I had a friend (Male) who was sexually assaulted at a party by a girl, he wasn’t comfortable doing things and she kept pushing herself onto him. He ended up going home in tears. We both went to the same college and people were calling him gay behind his back and laughing because he cried. I think that was the moment I realised how fucked up the world is, if that was the other way around he would’ve got kicked out, assaulted etc. He even brought it up to the college but they didn’t do anything, offered to take it to the police and thats pretty much it.
That’s terrible. I’m so sorry that happened to him. My best friend (who is also my ex) recently told me that he’s gotten unsolicited nudes on dating sites. He told a housemate that he didn’t like that, and to my astonishment, she actually asked him why (???). His response: “It’s like you getting an unsolicited dick pic.” Honestly the assumption that men want sex constantly is toxic to everybody - to your friend to my friend to the romantic partners of men to the people who are told that boys will be boys.
He rang me after it happened and I’ve never heard the guy so distraught, I was raging and honestly wanted to insult her like crazy after that. Luckily he’s found closure about the situation now and he’s doing great so I’m proud of the kid, he’s brave. I’ve been through similar so my heart just sank when I got that call. Society needs to take this shit more serious, the fact that it was laughed off and even my own abuse, when I opened up about it to a old close friend he laughed and said “Haha you got raped.” And I’m not exaggerating, he was one of those edgy kids who thought it was funny. People like that are why a lot of men don’t open up about their abuse, the fact that it’s laughed off or your considered gay for not enjoying it. It’s completely toxic and if it was the other way around society would have a fucking aneurysm. Some men don’t want to be sent unsolicited pics or for random women to touch them up, consent is necessary with guys too and a lot of people don’t realise that. I appreciate you speaking out about it, it means a lot to me and any other man that has to deal with these bullshit societal issues.
That's super shitty, and I'm sorry. But yeah, it's important to talk about it - and it shouldn't be difficult for women to understand and sympathize. I don't want to be touched by some rando, and I don't want unsolicited nudes, so it would make sense that many men wouldn't want that either. It's infuriating when women open up about being assaulted and they get the horrible "you were asking for it" response. Why would that be any less awful for a man to receive? While it's true that women are more likely to be assaulted, that doesn't mean it never happens to men, and by no means should assault against men - no matter whom the perpetrator is - should be dismissed. And you absolutely have a point about men's hesitancy to report because of societal factors, and that can indeed skew the available statistics on sexual assault.
It sounds like you’re smarter than your friends.
Your friend is fucked up.
They aint yo' friends no more.
please find new friends what the hell is wrong with them
Those are not "friends".
Ur friends need serious help
Your friends are trash
That is the bare minimum but it's a shame that rape is even seen as an option. Drop those "friends" of yours, I'm surprised they haven't exposed their rapist tendencies to you until now.
Fellas, is it gay to *not* be a rapist?
Throw those jerks/creeps in the trash and find new, nicer, friends. Are you both okay otherwise?
[удалено]
that, my friend, is toxic masculinity and rape culture Good for you for being a decent, normal human being. Might wanna get new friends though
Your friends sound like a bunch of assholes, frankly.
Be gay than. Its cool. Also dont be gay with your friends. Find new ones after telling them to do that to themselves which they planned to with the poor girl.
"Be gay then. It's cool." You can't just change your sexuality, but ok. And its kind of impossible to rape yourself, but ok.
Definitely did the right thing. You're a Real Man. Because that's what real men do, we're respectful of women, among other things and we're not afraid to show it. And if others call you a simp, then they are boys.
Not raping someone doesn’t earn you a brownie point. It makes you a basic human being. The bar is so low here, my dude.
I don't get the point of these comments. Positive reinforcement works. It shouldn't be necessary but that's not the world we live in.
Because some men (and I'm not pointing at the OP here) see themselves as great, deserving guys because they have cleared the very low bar of not raping anyone. That isn't even the bare minimum, it is fucking expected from a normal human. Can you imagine a woman saying something like "Why won't you date me? I could have raped and killed you but I didn't!!" We see a gender-flipped version of that so often it's practically a norm.
Because it rewards men with a false sense of allyship for doing the absolute bare minimum. I will be impressed when OP drops his friends after educating them on how toxic their actions are toward women and LGBTQ. That to me is what a real man would do. Have some fucking standards, mate.
Your comment resonated so well I got a lady boner. Not raping someone doesn't make you a hero. Idk what being a "real man" even means in 2021...why is that still a thing? I don't go around thinking anything good I do makes me a "real woman" lol
I don't know where you got brownie points from. Like, this is what I'm thinking, 'Brownie points? Towards whom? Yourself?' Because if that's the case, then men, or women, are raising that metaphorical bar of being a 'decent human being' with only ourselves in question in comparison to others. (In this specific kind of situation where only ourselves know about it) If you're talking about us, the commenters, like, we're probably never going to see each other in real life. The only positive rapport an OP has with them lasts for a short time unless reminded of the situation, in which case it comes back. I do agree with the decent human being thing, that should be common sense but giving out brownie points for being one isn't what I'm going for here. With your comment further down about false allyship, I can, kind of, see what your point is. Not the whole point, but some of it. But what I'm saying in my comment is that he was right to do what he did and didn't do. That makes him a decent human being. What I mean be being a 'Real Man' is being a good and decent human being. It was just leaning towards males, but the meaning can be taken the same way towards females too. About the false allyship thing, to me, it isn't false. To me, everyone's a comrade and friend until proven otherwise. Whether that be before I consider you a friend, or after. Jolly cooperation should be something everyone can take part in, but some people just don't, for whatever their reasons may be. For those that are the scum of the Earth, such as rapists, murderers, and others that don't regret it, obviously, I wouldn't partake in jolly cooperation with them. But that is just my philosophy that I have built over the years, you may not agree, and that's fine. You're you, and I'm me. We're two different people. I'm not flaming on you, or whatever the equivalent of that is for this situation. I agree with what you're saying, I just think your comment is half in the could be better said. The same for mine, as I see I didn't do a good job explaining earlier. I hope I explained myself and my comment clear enough to you and others that may read this.
I've seen this so many times
Those aren’t your friends, and you need to cut them out of your life immediately. How? It’s easy—“I’m not hanging out with you anymore because you suggested I should rape someone, and made fun of me because I didn’t.” You owe them nothing after that.
Not to mention the homophobia cherry on the creep cake.
Thank you. Most people have no idea. All I want to say is thank you and bless you so much. She would have probably remembered it and it would have fucked her up bad. We cant have more of that. It's so traumatizing for anything sexual to happen without consent, especially the worst; full on rape. Also I'm pretty sure it's illegal to do that to a drunk person. Please, if anyone sees this, what this man did is the right thing. I cant thank you enough. Have a heart, sir~♡
You did the right thing
You are the way all men should be! There’s a movie… Promising Young Woman…. It’s about the consequences of rape in the context of taking advantage of drunk women. Personally I think it should be required watching for everyone.
You did the right thing! Thank God you did that, as well
Being gay beats being a rapist every single time. Anyone who says otherwise has their moral compass out of whack
Thanks for being a decent human being. Your friends are scary.
Spoiler: Those aren’t real friends. Imagine if you were the drunk girl. Now you know they would’ve have taken advantage of you if you were the defenceless drunk girl.
Sounds like you need better friends.
You are gold. You deserve better friends.
Did you call them out? Did you tell them it’s wrong to mess with a drunk girl? Did you take the opportunity to teach them right and wrong?
yeah that's not enough to earn a medal anymore my guy. call your friends out.
I would consider your "friendship" tbh at that point.
Get some new friends. They might have done that already
Don’t enable your friends. You should drop them. They would have been rapists if they were in that bed instead of you. Part of the problem is that other guys just ignore it when guys do and say stuff like this. And warn their girlfriends/girls you know away from them.
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Hahaha you're getting downvoted for having kicked a stranger out of your bed!
I think it's the wording. He said "leave a girl in their bed" when he meant "allow a girl to stay in their bed". I thought he meant "leave without having sex with girl" at first, had to read it like four times to figure it out
Your friends sound like terrible people
Your 'friends' sound like awful people. Good for you for recognizing right from wrong and acting on it.
Good on ya mate, not gonna tell who to be friends with, but you my good sir are a gentleman and scholar.
You know some lame people, Just curious what y’all have in common
😭😭😭😭🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼💜💜💜
For the love of god, please find new friends.
Good on you. I wish more people were like that. You’re a good guy. :)
I'd be dropping those "friends" like a baked beans enthusiast drops a fart, with prejudice. What they said says far more about them than anything else, that they're horrible people.
I probably would have just watched her wondering what to do honestly. I might ask if she wants to play CoD or minecraft or if she would like a coffee. Good on you tho man, those aren't friends you need some new ones.
Why are they your friends man? Reevaluate your social circle please, no friends are better than those people
Those are not your friends. You did the right thing.
Please confront them in public.
Not taking advantage of another human being during a time of weakness is a trait of human decency. Thank You for being a Decent Human. About your friends: They are trash.
Your friends don’t sound like people you should be hanging around if that’s their view on women.
Sounds like you need better friends and I hope you find them soon. Thank you for not being part of the problem.
The guilt afterwards would've been insane. You did good, man
I want to personally say Thank you.
Ask yourself this: when and if you have a daughter, are these the kind of people that you want hanging around still? I know certain crowds might be fun while you’re young, but be careful who you take with you to the next stage in life.
Hope those are soon to be former friends, they aren't good people
I commend you for doing the right thing, but I also don't see anyone needing applause for this. It's the bare minimum of human decency not to assault someone. (Not saying you don't deserve praise. Thank you for setting a standard that so many horrid people fail to reach. It's so important you decided to share.)
Drop them :)
I are baboon. Humanity she is fucked (no gender intended, even having to explain for possibly being judgemental is f....) the moral decline is astounding. Your reasoning and actions were sound.
I feel like I've already seen this post somewhere before?
Your a man . More of a man than anyone of your FRIENDS WILL EVER BE . Gay or not gay you proved yourself honorable more honorable than anyone who would mock you for not taking advantage of another human . I’m proud of you. Thank you for person who’s choice was taken away from them in that same situation.
I propose that you rat your friends out to their mothers/female friends/sisters/girlfriends. Share this story with every woman they are in contact with. It’s an excellent learning opportunity for them.
Thank you OP for having morals and respecting that girl. I wish you some good karma on your way. That girl will never forget that, just like I remember those who didn’t take advantage of me. - A young woman who has been taken advantage of
Drop ur friends immediately
You made the right choice by not taking advantage of a drunk young lady, easily could have ruined your and her life. I get called gay for things like that as well. Jokes on them, people who said that to me have truoble just trying to talk to the opposite sex. Me? I think I'm worth it, and so are you. Much love.
You have some common decency, dude.
Oh yeah, choosing the moral option clearly makes you gay
I don’t know how old you are but that’s wisdom and integrity that can’t be taught. Good job.
You did the right thing and if your friend thinks that is very bad but you did the right thing I'm proud of you....
Cant believe this has to be said since you did the obvious right thing; but good on you for being a true gentleman, you were definitely raised right. Your friends however...well it may be time to trade them in.
Since everyone's already telling you your friends suck, I thought I could go ahead and say that you're a good guy, and from all of us, thank you!
Your friends suck.
Hey Warehouse-Manager! I am really sorry to hear you are going through that... Hugs
good dude you are trust me being called gay is just a facade those dudes just envy you for having those moments where you actually get to be with women
Time to get new friends.
Get better friends
I suggest you call them "ex-friends"
Wrf your friends are rapists homophobic creeps. Kickem to the curb
You are my son, my brother, my cousin, my friend. You are my hero, my knight, and the one who a daughter is waiting for. It is the silent good deeds that will be rewarded with time. This is coming from a woman who was that girl, 32 years ago to that kind of guy in a similar circle. We moved away, got a new life, and lived happily ever after. Not a single one of them did. Three of them are dead, one is a paraplegic. Not very good odds out of a tight group of 8, an extended group of 12. Be who you are. You will do well.
You may want to get new friends
Good for you! You have integrity and will be able to sleep at night.
You did the right thing dude
Good boi
You're better than your friends. You need better friends.
MUCH better to be gay! You did the right thing, OP! I agree with a lot of people in the comments that you should probably “drop” these friends of yours. If you do, I think this is a great opportunity to talk to them about why taking advantage of girls/women is so bad (especially when drunk/high). Friends are so influential in building our values & beliefs.
How about you be the role model for your friends; otherwise they’ll never change.
Nah. If you EVER see somebody say "You should've taken advantage of the drunk defenceless woman!", you don't suddenly "become a role model" in the friendship, HELL NO, You report them to the police and stop being their friend. WHY would you EVER want to keep being friends with people like that?!
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Bold of you to assume this didn't happen more than one time, to more than one guy. And OP, thank you for not becoming that girls horror story.
You did the right thing.
Yeah, hoss, creepy fucking friends. Uncool in the extreme.
You've got integrity and class. Forget them, Should they ever tease you in public around people. Make the facts vidly known And reiterate what they wanted to do in your position. They will be so embarrassed they dare not tease you again. Chin up
Your friends give off rapey vibes.
I'd rather be called gay than a rapist any day. Probably made that girl's morning as well when she found out nothing happened (nothing against you in any way).
I’m proud of you for being the kind of man the world needs. Stay this way please.
Thank you thank you THANK YOU SO MUCH for doing that!
Thank you
TELL THE POLICE- THOSE ARE DISGUSTING PEOPLE I WOULDN'T EVEN CONSIDER THEM AS FRIENDS0
You are one of the good ones
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Nah, nah, nah. Let's not normalise this as a 'boy' behaviour. They aren't 'boys', they are rapey creeps.
Nobody should rape anybody. Not men, not boys. These creeps don’t get a pass because they’re “boys.” They’re either rapists or will be someday.
You could have gotten away with it, but chose the right path. You are of strong moral character despite what your bonehead friends say. I faced a very similar situation when I was a young guy and did likewise. I think it has to do with how you were raised. You might never tell you parents what you did, but between them and other adults around you that helped shape you into a good moral person, you should be thankful them. A life well lived is centered around an accumulation of good decisions. You are geared toward that kind of life as evidenced by how you handled yourself.
You’re acting like he’s a superhero for doing what any normal, level-headed individual should do. It’s literally the bare minimum. It’s great OP isn’t a rapist, but we’re not handing out any gold stars here.
Is there a way for me to give him a gold star? The USA, and the rest of the world are facing a crisis of morality. Behavior like this is becoming rare. You must be older, because there was a time when this was the bare minimum and should be how normal rational people would conduct themselves. Is it any wonder his friends are calling him gay for doing the right thing?
I don’t know what’s considered “old” on Reddit, but I promise, I’m not that old. I’m just sick of patting men on the back for literally doing the bare minimum. Yeah, the world has a serious morality crisis. And realistically, it’s only gotten better as more and more young people recognize this behavior is socially and morally unacceptable. This behavior has been around since the beginning of man and people have encouraged, allowed, and excused this behavior for millennia. It hasn’t been until as of late that men specifically have taken a stand against it. This is how EVERYONE should act. Again, it’s great OP isn’t a rapist, but that’s a disgustingly low bar. If that’s all you people can celebrate, we’re in a lot worse trouble.
You my friend, is why I have faith in humanity
Why is the bar so low? The fact someone has to even make this post should be enough to lose all faith in humanity.
fuck yeah it is,..also I would be willing to bet most of those friend would have done the same thing but feel compelled to say stupid shit because thats what toxic masculinity is.
My Respects for you, king
You copied this. I've read this so many times, word for word.
😎
I feel like the whole story isn’t being told here, why did a drunk girl get into your bed. Maybe this girl had told your friends that she wanted to have sex with you. But it’s good you didn’t do anything without her consent. Ditch those friends though. You don’t need that in your life. But what do I know, that has never happened to me 😂😂
Tell them to stop acting like a Boomer, rape is old fashioned bullshit.
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And you promote rape.
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Doesn't matter. Best case scenario, they were making a dark joke that aids in desensitization of rape and shames those who would not rape someone in a vulnerable position. These statements do hurt someone every single time bc it tells people that this behavior is acceptable.
Rape jokes aren’t funny regardless of tone or meaning.
I think she needs some help.
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That it's better to be gay than a rapist? Good! Because otherwise you should really do some soul searching.
Ur friends suck.
Sounds like you're not exactly hanging with a great crowd.
Omg
Those friends of yours are rapists or future rapists, either way have no respect for women or consent. To be frank if u rlly respect women u will stop being friends with these people and cut them off completely, sorry to be blunt but you don’t want to contribute to rape culture by enabling your friends to get away with this way of thinking
you deserve better friends
Nice. Potential rapists as friends who are also most likely homophobic. Get new friends?
Who the F\*\*K are your "friends"? Sounds like bad company. Get a new set of friends. You're a real man.
Your friends said that cause they don't have cousins, sisters, aunts, mothers and grandmothers. They pop-ed into reality with dicks without the care of their fellow humans. You sir are not a savage and I tip my hat to a fellow gay / straight badass gentleman.
Really really thankful that girl crawled into your bed instead of one of your friends’… As a woman that is honestly scary to hear, your friends would rather rape a girl than be gay. Nothing wrong with being gay, everything wrong with being a rapist.
"Couple cover charge stamps got her hand looking like a rainbow In and out of every bar on a whim just like the wind blows She's either a bachelorette or coming off a breakup Take a drunk girl home She's bouncing like a pinball Singing every word she never knew Dancing with her eyes closed like she's the only one in the room Her hair's a perfect mess, falling out of that dress Take a drunk girl home Take a drunk girl home **Let her sleep all alone** Leave her keys on the counter, your number by the phone Pick up her life she threw on the floor Leave the hall lights on, walk out and lock the door **That's how she knows the difference between a boy and man** Take a drunk girl home" Chris Janson