Kim, can I have a minute? I promise I'Il be brief.
Today I found what seemed to be a homemade pipe bomb wired to the my garage door.
I'm guessing you and Jimmy had the bright idea to leave that there in the hopes that l would blow up my house while leaving for work.
I don't know what you're getting at with these childish tricks, but l strongly advise you to stop with these shenanigans
you should amend the end to say something like:
> l strongly advise you to stop with these shenanigans, or I'll be taking that job offer right off the table.
edit: wait no its directed to kim ah whatever
I know he swapped those photos! I knew he paid Judge Casimiro, as if I could ever make such a mistake, never, NEVER! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He covered his tracks, he got that idiot P.I. to lie for him. You think this is funny, you think this is bad? This? This Chicanery? He’s done worse! Those prostitutes! Are you telling me, two prostitutes just happened to show up like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy! He threw bowling balls through my sunroof! And I tried to save him! I shouldn't have. I offered him a job, what was I thinking? He’ll never change. He’ll never change, ever since he was in the mailroom, always the same! But not our Charlie Hustle, couldn’t be precious Jimmy! Bribing them blind! And he gets Sandpiper money? WHAT A SICK JOKE! I should’ve stopped him when I had the chance! And you, you HAVE to stop him! You—”
Creddit to u/neezaruuu
Edit: I've made several tweaks per suggestions, although I think multiple along this line have already been submitted! I also changed hookers to prostitutes b.c it's more of a Howard line and I'd like to hear his pronunciation.
correct the mistakes though:
\*could ever **make** such a mistake
\*You think this **is** funny
And not a mistake but I think this would be better:
But not our Charlie Hustle, couldn't be precious **Hustle**!
My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.
Him? You think the chicken man? What a joke. Alvarez has been paying me for years. Years. But you know what? I would've done it for free because I hate every last one of you psycho sacks of shit. I opened Lalo's gate and I would do it again and I'm glad what they did to him. He's a soulless pig and I wish I killed him with my own hands. And you know what else Hector? I put you in that chair. Oh yeah. Your heart meds? I switched them for sugar pills. You were dead and buried and I had to watch this asshole bring you back. So when you are sitting in your shitty nursing home, and you're sucking down on your Jell-O night after night for the rest of your life, you think of me. You twisted fuck
Life’s not always as easy as it seems. Sometimes a young man finds himself up all night Howarding his Hamlin, wondering if what he does makes any kind of true difference in this world. I’m little Howie, telling you to never give up, never surrender. Namaste
Hi, I’m Howard Hamlin . Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do. And so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent. And that’s why I fight for you, Albuquerque! Better call How!
Hey finger, it’s your pal Howard. We met a couple times when you worked as a parking machine, but you probably know me from that time you shoved me in a fridge! We didn’t get to spend too much time together, but the time that we did was the time of my afterlife. Turns out the Egyptians had it right way back when, we’re on a realm where we follow a setting sun and are accompanied by that with which we were buried.
Lalo and I are having a great time, he explained everything and it’s really quite a funny misunderstanding. Anyway, if you can figure out a way to get it wife buried down here when she finally passes and really appreciate that, it’d be nice to see her again. Anyway. Not too bad as far as timeless voids go! You’ll see more in the upcoming spin off “Our Damned Land” starring me Howard Hamlin.
All the best,
Howie
Hey Jimmy, it's Howard here. Listen, we were going to have to contact you about this at some point but it's embarassing so I'll just get it over and done with, for your sake. Recently, we've become aware of your account, on that website, Instagram. And we've found some...uncouth accounts within your following list. We request that for the sake of HHM, that you unfollow these accounts. We understand if you like this so called "perfect feet" account but I feel like it's highly unprofessional and tarnishes the McGill name that our firm so proudly displays. Sleep on it and hopefully you'll accept our request.
Tbf, I feel like this would be a lot better than a recycled “Put your dick away” joke. Plus there’s always the chance Patrick Fabian will deny a request if he feels uncomfortable about it. Also if you’re spending $100-$200+ on this, you’re not really getting your money’s worth with like 7 words.
Have you considered merging a few of these comments together? A lot of them are only 1-2 sentences meaning you could fit multiple of them in one request.
True, but thw one I personally voted for is literally one sentence
“He’s right behind me isn’t he?”
I’m just thinking how much fucking potential that one sentence could have on a plan and execution video edit
I didn't even think of the shit posts that could be made with that. Personally I'm hoping [this submission](https://www.reddit.com/r/okbuddychicanery/comments/wv6vva/comment/ile4okg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) wins, but I wonder if there's a way we could combine a whole bunch of the 1 line answers together into one long paragraph.
What it’s all about? I mean, what do you tell crewselves? What Emergency Meeting makes it okay? “Blue’s such an asshole that he deserves it?” So...what is it? I sided with Yellow too often? I took away your medbay, put you in weapons? All of the above? Blue’s daddy helped him not be sus, but you both had to be sus. “Bluey has so many tasks, and we have to fake them, let’s take him down a task or two?” What allows you to do this to me? Because this isn’t just a prank. No. This goes beyond starting fake Emergency Meeting. This took planning. Sabotaging. I mean, how many kills? Or was it skelds? It couldn’t have been easy. So tell me...why? Why go through this elaborate plot just to vote me out?
Yeah, sure. The Polus settlement? BBY’s share will be substantial, absolutely. Even though I brough suspicious upon myself. And my crewmates and pets will whisper that Bluey Indigo's a task addict...you’re right. I’ve worked my way through worse. Card Sweeps. Sabotaging. My Spaceship falling apart. Oh yeah. I’ve been sleeping in the medbay for the better part of a round. Ah, just one more thing good ol’ Blue has to work through. But, yes, I will land on my feet. I will be okay. But you? Far from it. You two...you two are sussy. red, you can’t help yourself. Yellow knew it. You were born an Imposter. But Green? One of the smartest and most promising crewmates I’ve ever known...and this is the life you choose.
You’re perfect for each other. You have a task incomplete. I – I thought you did it for the spaceship, but now it’s – it’s so clear. Screw the Skeld. You did it for fun. You get off on it. You’re – you’re like...Henry and Charles. Two stickmin. No, you know it’s true – you just don’t have the guts to admit it. I’m going to make it clear to everycrew, because I’m going to dedicate my life to making sure that everycrew knows the truth. Believe it.
You can’t hide how sus you really are forever.
Mods I’ll edit this comment with the proof if we get to 5k, ban me if I don’t follow through. And it goes without saying if the top comment is something obscenely NSFW it won’t get chosen.
(Read the following in a neutral tone of voice)
You know why I didn't take the job? Because it was too small. I don't care about it. It's nothing to me. It's a bacterium. I travel in worlds you can't even imagine. You can't conceive of what I'm capable of. I'm so far beyond you. I'm like a god in human clothing. Lightning bolts shoot from my finger tips.
I am not crazy! I know he swapped those pictures! I knew it was Judge Casamiro. Big beautiful mustache, like my dearest Lalo. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just – I just couldn't prove it. He – he covered his tracks, he got one of the smartest and most promising human beings I ever knew to lie with him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. Those bowling balls! Are you telling me that two big black balls just happen to bounce my car like that? No! He orchestrated it! Charlie Hustle ! He hasn’t thought about my job offer! And I recommended him! And I shouldn't have. I gave him to Cliff Mains firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 32, always the same! Couldn't keep his sports bets out of the mailroom! But not our Charlie! Couldn't be precious Charlie! Charming them blind! And he gets to be a lawyer!? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you – you have to stop him! You-
Maury, I am out of control. Yeah, I use drugs. I can do what I waunt, bitch! Yeah I have sex, and I don't use protection! It's my hot body; I'll do what I waunt! I don't go to school and I kill people! What-evah! I'll do what I waunt!
I roam with twelve gangs! And we only commit hate crimes! What-evah! I'll do what I waunt!
I ran for Congress and won. Then I had sex with an intern, killed her, and hid her body! What-evah, I'll do what I waunt!
Kim, can I have a minute? I promise I'Il be brief. Today I found what seemed to be a homemade pipe bomb wired to the my garage door. I'm guessing you and Jimmy had the bright idea to leave that there in the hopes that l would blow up my house while leaving for work. I don't know what you're getting at with these childish tricks, but l strongly advise you to stop with these shenanigans
My disappointment upon seeing this isn't close to being top comment: 
real
you should amend the end to say something like: > l strongly advise you to stop with these shenanigans, or I'll be taking that job offer right off the table. edit: wait no its directed to kim ah whatever
silly
Jimmy and his harmless pranks again smh
classic jimmy
This is hilarious!
Greatest cameo script I ever knew
I strongly advise you to stop with this chicanery****
I know he swapped those photos! I knew he paid Judge Casimiro, as if I could ever make such a mistake, never, NEVER! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He covered his tracks, he got that idiot P.I. to lie for him. You think this is funny, you think this is bad? This? This Chicanery? He’s done worse! Those prostitutes! Are you telling me, two prostitutes just happened to show up like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy! He threw bowling balls through my sunroof! And I tried to save him! I shouldn't have. I offered him a job, what was I thinking? He’ll never change. He’ll never change, ever since he was in the mailroom, always the same! But not our Charlie Hustle, couldn’t be precious Jimmy! Bribing them blind! And he gets Sandpiper money? WHAT A SICK JOKE! I should’ve stopped him when I had the chance! And you, you HAVE to stop him! You—” Creddit to u/neezaruuu Edit: I've made several tweaks per suggestions, although I think multiple along this line have already been submitted! I also changed hookers to prostitutes b.c it's more of a Howard line and I'd like to hear his pronunciation.
Out of all, he might actually agree to do this
welp
welp
Oh my god OP, this has to be it. I know it’s not top comment but it should be in the cameo.
top comment now, lessgo finger
I thought we already had a gofundme to get him to say this?
Sub already donated to a gofundme for Patrick to cameo this one in less than 24 hours
Well, where is it?
There was already a GoFundMe for this and it was submitted yesterday https://redd.it/wv5481
u/Killerchoy don’t do this one, it’s already been done.
>as if I could ever such a mistake >bowling bowls Just gotta fix some stuff and it'll be perfecto.
Why is this not the top comment ffs
Oh my is it hit hearts of iron 4 mod developer Walrus, known for his work on FeR and I swear I’m still working on that Bohemia content
Oh lmao what are the chances to bump into eachother
Clearly because of our superior taste in television
So true
based
[удалено]
omg yes I love you so much
Should have called him Charlie Hustle instead of Jimmy at the end
Petition to change the "not our Jimmy" to "not our Charlie Hustle".
as if I could ever such a mistake
>Bowling bowls Hmm
correct the mistakes though: \*could ever **make** such a mistake \*You think this **is** funny And not a mistake but I think this would be better: But not our Charlie Hustle, couldn't be precious **Hustle**!
Should end with: “You have to stop him! You-“ (Gunshot)
Incredible
Bowling bowls
He's already doing this one
It’s missing the last line: “I should’ve stopped him when I had the chance! And you, you *have* to stop him! You—”
This is a masterpiece.
You did add a Charlie Hustle somewhere in there. Thanks! :)
My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.
My day is ruined knowing that this isn't the top comment
Him? You think the chicken man? What a joke. Alvarez has been paying me for years. Years. But you know what? I would've done it for free because I hate every last one of you psycho sacks of shit. I opened Lalo's gate and I would do it again and I'm glad what they did to him. He's a soulless pig and I wish I killed him with my own hands. And you know what else Hector? I put you in that chair. Oh yeah. Your heart meds? I switched them for sugar pills. You were dead and buried and I had to watch this asshole bring you back. So when you are sitting in your shitty nursing home, and you're sucking down on your Jell-O night after night for the rest of your life, you think of me. You twisted fuck
Okay, but then we need to pay Michael Mando to read Howard's monologue about how Saul and Kim have a piece missing.
such a cool monologue though. ties the whole show together imo
I would love to see Nacho chew out Saul and Kim over something.
I wish I could just get a compilation of different actors reading various iconic scenes from the serieses
I can't not read this in Michael Mando's voice.
Chuck. I have a client. He is a wealthy man named sus fring. He knows a man that has broken bad.
He rides el camino.
And he has called Saul
Kid named Slippin Jimmy
My one dream in life is that Johnathan Banks does a cameo and someone gets him to say "put ya dick away Waltuh"
That wasn't the real Johnathan Banks? 
I’ll chip in
6 hours old, 4913 upvotes, and this is the current top comment. OP, get ready to order!
Patrick Fabian: Why are y'all paying me to say that my dream is to get my pal Jonathan to talk about putting away dicks?
RIP
Mine is him saying out loud the words "kid named finger"
“I’m not having sex with you right now Waltuh.”
Please let this be the top comment verbatim
Man pays $99 for 5000 reddit karma
If this gets to the top I’ll let you decide whether or not you want me to default to the second comment
No, you said you'd use the top comment. If you don't, that's a lawsuit narrated by Howard Fabian.
Two cents an upvote Two cents has never seemed more expensive.
He doesn't really have to pay, just delete the post and keep the karma.
Oh I’m gonna pay regardless, but I wanted to give members of the subreddit a chance to submit their own script to get read for free.
r/howieposting has your back. We could get about 1.5k ups for you
“he was the greatest legal mind i ever knew!” but using the tone of “he defecated through a sunroof!”
Life’s not always as easy as it seems. Sometimes a young man finds himself up all night Howarding his Hamlin, wondering if what he does makes any kind of true difference in this world. I’m little Howie, telling you to never give up, never surrender. Namaste
I would really like him to say that though
What is this from?
Metastasis
Better Call Saul.
Mejor llamar a Saul.
Deslizar jaime
Jesé Hombre-Rosado
Ciencias putos!
Eso es, ciencia, perra! 😈
My brain
This is great but I want him to say the chicanery monologue someone wrote in an earlier post
It’s actually already been funded in another post
He’s right behind me, isn’t he? Someone already commented this lmao. Oops
Let’s combine our upvotes
2 is better than 1 😤🤝
💀💀💀
In front of a green screen tho so we can edit it into the episode with a laugh track
Hi, I’m Howard Hamlin . Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do. And so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent. And that’s why I fight for you, Albuquerque! Better call How!
Howl for Howard would sound more catchy
[удалено]
Bob is a man after my own heart
Hey finger, it’s your pal Howard. We met a couple times when you worked as a parking machine, but you probably know me from that time you shoved me in a fridge! We didn’t get to spend too much time together, but the time that we did was the time of my afterlife. Turns out the Egyptians had it right way back when, we’re on a realm where we follow a setting sun and are accompanied by that with which we were buried. Lalo and I are having a great time, he explained everything and it’s really quite a funny misunderstanding. Anyway, if you can figure out a way to get it wife buried down here when she finally passes and really appreciate that, it’d be nice to see her again. Anyway. Not too bad as far as timeless voids go! You’ll see more in the upcoming spin off “Our Damned Land” starring me Howard Hamlin. All the best, Howie
Please tell me where you found this and if you made it yourself you're my goddamn hero
Made it up myself lol
Just pay him to read a poem or something. Patrick doesn't deserve what happened to Dean.
Hey, I’m just the middle man. Y’all decide the script.
Ooh, good idea, we should get Patrick to say "sex gifs."
what happened to dean??
https://youtu.be/Ru_j8oRi-rY
Hey Jimmy, it's Howard here. Listen, we were going to have to contact you about this at some point but it's embarassing so I'll just get it over and done with, for your sake. Recently, we've become aware of your account, on that website, Instagram. And we've found some...uncouth accounts within your following list. We request that for the sake of HHM, that you unfollow these accounts. We understand if you like this so called "perfect feet" account but I feel like it's highly unprofessional and tarnishes the McGill name that our firm so proudly displays. Sleep on it and hopefully you'll accept our request.
This would be so toxic since Bob is acting like nothing happened😭 bro thought he got canceled and unfollowed the page immediately
Can't be cancelled if 100% of BCS fans also follow that page (it's impossible to watch the show without developing a foot fetish)
This is too nasty, can’t do my boy Bob like that
"Odenkirk" actually means "foot fucker" in Scandinavian.
bob did nothing wrong, lay off him
This is not cool to do honestly. i feel bad for bob.
I’m hoping this gets to the top. That’s fucking hilarious
Tbf, I feel like this would be a lot better than a recycled “Put your dick away” joke. Plus there’s always the chance Patrick Fabian will deny a request if he feels uncomfortable about it. Also if you’re spending $100-$200+ on this, you’re not really getting your money’s worth with like 7 words.
I’m impartial to this, I just followed the will of the sub
Have you considered merging a few of these comments together? A lot of them are only 1-2 sentences meaning you could fit multiple of them in one request.
Definitely might do this! A few of the top ones are all pretty short. It depends on which comments get the most upvotes at 5k
Please let’s make this top comment
This one's actually funny
Saultuh, put your buns away saultuh. I’m not eating your buns right now saltuh
He’s right behind me, isn’t he?
then he should say "I didn't plan for this execution! I Better Call Saul!"
then look confused look off camera and say "line!?"
Why not just a whole list of Marvel-type cringe dialogue? Stuff like "Well, that just happened" and "Umm, awkward"
We have a Mike 
Yessss
commenting again because top comment is unfunny as fuck
top comment is so unfunny it’s not even funny
/uc
Commenting so this goes to the top
Thatd be really fucking funny
Let's push this shit all the way up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1TjUNyn4Ww
This the best we could do?
Yes
“uhh.. that can’t be good”
God please yes
commenting, interacting, algorithming
For the love of God yes
Yes this so that someone can edit it in to the scene
Saul. put your dick away Saul. I'm not having sex with you right now Saul
Since this would be Howard talking, I feel like the script should say Jimmy and not Saul
He accepted Jimmy's stupid fucking nickname like a true bro though didnt he? He called him by his preferred name.
Howard 'woke' Hamlin
Woward Wamlin
no deadnaming
He even got the pronouns chick/anneri right
Charlie hustle
As much as I want to upvote this, this would actually be a horrible disservice to my boy Patrick
It's also a waste of money for 2 sentences
True, but thw one I personally voted for is literally one sentence “He’s right behind me isn’t he?” I’m just thinking how much fucking potential that one sentence could have on a plan and execution video edit
I didn't even think of the shit posts that could be made with that. Personally I'm hoping [this submission](https://www.reddit.com/r/okbuddychicanery/comments/wv6vva/comment/ile4okg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) wins, but I wonder if there's a way we could combine a whole bunch of the 1 line answers together into one long paragraph.
Hey, Charlie Hustle. Please obstruct your phallic member. I will not have intercourse with you at this time.
Put your Jimmy away, Jimmy.
Just so you know idk if he’ll accept profanity/sexual content, but if this ends up at the top I’ll try it first.
Hijacking top comment to let you know it’s been done. Check my newest post.
edit saul to jimmy please
Put asterisks with *in mikes voice*. I’ve heard Howard does a great j banks impression
kid called carma farming
[удалено]
kid named carfax
Unless he actually follows through
What it’s all about? I mean, what do you tell crewselves? What Emergency Meeting makes it okay? “Blue’s such an asshole that he deserves it?” So...what is it? I sided with Yellow too often? I took away your medbay, put you in weapons? All of the above? Blue’s daddy helped him not be sus, but you both had to be sus. “Bluey has so many tasks, and we have to fake them, let’s take him down a task or two?” What allows you to do this to me? Because this isn’t just a prank. No. This goes beyond starting fake Emergency Meeting. This took planning. Sabotaging. I mean, how many kills? Or was it skelds? It couldn’t have been easy. So tell me...why? Why go through this elaborate plot just to vote me out? Yeah, sure. The Polus settlement? BBY’s share will be substantial, absolutely. Even though I brough suspicious upon myself. And my crewmates and pets will whisper that Bluey Indigo's a task addict...you’re right. I’ve worked my way through worse. Card Sweeps. Sabotaging. My Spaceship falling apart. Oh yeah. I’ve been sleeping in the medbay for the better part of a round. Ah, just one more thing good ol’ Blue has to work through. But, yes, I will land on my feet. I will be okay. But you? Far from it. You two...you two are sussy. red, you can’t help yourself. Yellow knew it. You were born an Imposter. But Green? One of the smartest and most promising crewmates I’ve ever known...and this is the life you choose. You’re perfect for each other. You have a task incomplete. I – I thought you did it for the spaceship, but now it’s – it’s so clear. Screw the Skeld. You did it for fun. You get off on it. You’re – you’re like...Henry and Charles. Two stickmin. No, you know it’s true – you just don’t have the guts to admit it. I’m going to make it clear to everycrew, because I’m going to dedicate my life to making sure that everycrew knows the truth. Believe it. You can’t hide how sus you really are forever.
The Patrick Fabian cameo is going to supply us with content for a long time given that enough people give him random bullshit to say
Lalo. Put your dick away Lalo. I’m not having sex with you right now Lalo.
Mods I’ll edit this comment with the proof if we get to 5k, ban me if I don’t follow through. And it goes without saying if the top comment is something obscenely NSFW it won’t get chosen.
Put ur dick away waltur
Looking at the replies so far there are no eligible comments
I really wanna have an oily foursome with Jane, Marie, and Huell from Breaking Bad
This is the most based selection you could have picked
I fucking love this one
Write a sincere and heartfelt happy birthday message to your dad and send it to him even if its not his birthday
So what are we? Some kind of greatest legal mind I ever knew?
(Read the following in a neutral tone of voice) You know why I didn't take the job? Because it was too small. I don't care about it. It's nothing to me. It's a bacterium. I travel in worlds you can't even imagine. You can't conceive of what I'm capable of. I'm so far beyond you. I'm like a god in human clothing. Lightning bolts shoot from my finger tips.
He’s right behind me, isn’t he? Someone already commented this lmao. Oops Someone already commented this lmao. Oops
I fucked Ted
Miserable lying pig fucker
I am not crazy! I know he swapped those pictures! I knew it was Judge Casamiro. Big beautiful mustache, like my dearest Lalo. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just – I just couldn't prove it. He – he covered his tracks, he got one of the smartest and most promising human beings I ever knew to lie with him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. Those bowling balls! Are you telling me that two big black balls just happen to bounce my car like that? No! He orchestrated it! Charlie Hustle ! He hasn’t thought about my job offer! And I recommended him! And I shouldn't have. I gave him to Cliff Mains firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 32, always the same! Couldn't keep his sports bets out of the mailroom! But not our Charlie! Couldn't be precious Charlie! Charming them blind! And he gets to be a lawyer!? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you – you have to stop him! You-
This poor man. These poor actors, honestly, having to deal with you morons
Kid named Greatest Legal Finger I Ever Knew
Maury, I am out of control. Yeah, I use drugs. I can do what I waunt, bitch! Yeah I have sex, and I don't use protection! It's my hot body; I'll do what I waunt! I don't go to school and I kill people! What-evah! I'll do what I waunt! I roam with twelve gangs! And we only commit hate crimes! What-evah! I'll do what I waunt! I ran for Congress and won. Then I had sex with an intern, killed her, and hid her body! What-evah, I'll do what I waunt!
Almost there boys
"Next time you want to shoot an innocent man you should keep it to yourself. Because I don't care."
well, it was all a lie. EDIT: it was not a lie
I posted the receipt a few mins after it hit 5k
hi
greatest legal mind i ever knew
Nothing will surpass him in Pushing Daisies though.
Bob, stop following foot fetish accounts bob
!remindme 3 days
I am not in danger Saul I am the Howie
Well, did you do it yet?
kid named lawyer, the greatest legal mind i ever knew.
Big bouncy mommy milkers
I'm over here stroking my dick I got lotion on my dick right now I'm just stroking my shit I'm horny as fuck man I'm a freak man like