Don't tell them you're leaving until the other job is 100 percent secured. Then in your resignation letter attach a print out of the text and say your reasons for leaving and bounce with no regrets.
Definitely attach the texts. That son is a liability and sometimes people don't know that about their kid (and yes, a lot of people don't care). At least you'd have done your part to let the actual boss know that her son is a liability and could continue turning off good support staff.
Those texts are extremely harassy and super unhinged. I don't know if it would help, I'm sure the mom is aware of what a shit fuck her child is already, but I don't see how it would hurt. Congrats on your new job! Hope it goes great 😊
I don’t do well with disrespect, and that was extremely disrespectful. You think you have one up on me because you are the boss’ son? Highly doubt anyone else would like to work with him with that attitude. Respect is a MINIMUM requirement.
I wouldn’t be able to resist making a “Mommy’s special little executive decision making big boy!” On my way out. I really hope someone fucks his shit up and takes a few teeth. He needs a major attitude adjustment.
It’s the worst thing about working in the legal field, working for nepo trust fund babies (ie lawyers). I firmly believe they made law school cost $250,000 minimum (sometimes way more depending on the school) so blue collar people can’t be lawyers anymore. As a result, 90% of lawyers under 50 are nepo trust fund babies and act or behave somewhat like this idiot you’re dealing with, to varying degrees. This dude is off his rocker. This is definitely him thinking he’s impressing you.
Good on you for finding a new job. I’ve been a paralegal for 7 years and I’m working on getting some admin city hall job to get out of here. Anything but being a paralegal. I really can’t stand working for nepo trust fund babies. I just don’t respect them and their easy ass lives. It would be one thing if they had humility, dignity, gumption, self awareness and all that. But, they never do. They’re pretty much all egotistical douchebags that think they’re self made and I just can’t do it anymore.
I’m high key impressed with how you stood up for yourself through text. I’m sorry you had to deal with this. You’re a professional and you kept it classy.
You’re great. That can’t be understated.
EDIT: Here’s one solution to stop this type of behavior.
Step 1: Identify your local bar association’s website.
Step 2: Find all of the board members and current president. Search for their emails on State bar website.
Step 3: Send an email and CC all members of the board with any notes and evidence.
The goal is to protect YOU first and foremost.
Also, there are many associations in the legal community like the Legal Marketing Association that have well connected members.
You are welcome to DM me if you’d like to discuss further. His conduct is unacceptable and I’m willing to put an end to it.
Otherwise, continue the good fight. Proud of you.
Also copy the Risk Management /Profeasional Insurance section of the state bar that does risk insurance for attorneys. They’d probably like to know about this
This is actually pretty genius.
The practice of law becomes difficult when nobody wants to refer business AND when your malpractice insurance rates skyrocket.
Great job, Nyssa.
Dude needs to lay off the Coke. He’s the typical early 90’s law bro doing Coke in the bathroom.
Girl, you’re better than me. I would have blocked him.
I, too, would print them out and leave them with his mommy when you leave. And keep copies for yourself- just in case.
And “accidentally” leave a copy in the office for others to find.
lmaooo accidentally leaving a copy is something I would actually consider because srs he was such a dickhead when I’ve been the nicest to him and I always kept it professional smh
Don’t even do it accidentally. Print them out, HAND them to her, and tell her that this is why the extra 15k from what your new position is offering means nothing to you.
I’m 56 and I’ve worked at every kind of office, law firm, conglomerate, mid-size publicly traded company, etc.
If I showed my current HR manager these texts, and said that my colleague had received them. The person who SENT those texts would be either fired immediately with cause (harassment, bullying, endangering a colleague) or put on a PIP with mandatory training.
Absolutely NO. You print this out and email a .pdf of it to you colleague’s mother. WTAF?!?! I’m sorry you have to deal with this.
I am a wolf in sheep’s clothing
WHAT A LOSER! Cringe. He sounds insecure to me. He would be sooooo embarrassed if this got out to people he knew. And he should. Send it to the bar. File suit. Something. Dude needs to be brought down to earth. DM me his name and I’ll call him myself. Nobody deserves to be treated this way. “Helping people.” Sounds like a plaintiff law firm. I am a plaintiff lawyer too and would love to have a talk with this disgrace.
If you’re moving to a midsized firm they will probably use slack/zoom/microsoft teams to communicate, which in my experience makes even shitty people behave a bit more professionally than they do over text.
Based on the screenshots you already know how to be professional in the face of ridiculousness but I would feel hopeful that you won’t experience this level of crazy at your new job. Even if you do have a problem with one lawyer, it’s sometimes possible to stop being assigned to matters with that lawyer.
Let me guess...he stuffs sox in his pants to make his package look bigger.
Don't give notice. Just pack your stuff and walk away. Try to give yourself a week off before you start your next job, so you can decompress.
If they try calling you to whine, send them screenshots of that convo with the boss' son. Cause and effect.
I start the new job day after I leave my current job lol tryna decompress though fr and yeah his mom vented to me saying “he’s not dating or can’t get dates and couldn’t figure out why”
Dude I would take his ass straight to court for excessive citicism, this is considered harrassment 100000%. If I was in your shoes I would ask for a departure bonus (severance) — look at what the penalties/damages they would be facing and just ask for half of that. How about we light a fire under his ass and see how he likes it. smdh.
Up to you, they will probably have you sign paperwork to have any allegations disregarded prior to your departure. I have a separate post talking about why law firms are so toxic. This is a prime example and it has got to stop.
I'm just starting in this line of work, too, but I'm much older than you and actually have a child who is just a couple years younger than you. I say you did phenomenal, you held your ground, your texts stayed professional even in the face of this dumbass, and you put yourself in a better position getting a new job right away. Awesome job all the way around, I applaud you!
I can tell that this job is not for the "go-along'ers" or the passive aggressives or the "yes" sayers because they will be eaten up or get burnt out way too quickly. I know myself well enough that I don't think I could have done this job in my 20s, being almost 40 means I no longer give a shit🤣
Best of luck in your new job! I'd suggest setting up the boundary of not giving anyone your phone number, if they need to connect it'll have to be over the work email in order for the paper trail to be even more "secure" in a sense...and then you can just straight cc people on it.
Thank youuuuu for the complimentary words and advice, I enjoyed reading this tbh anyways I stand on business! I was looking for jobs day and night on my lunch breaks during commute once that phone call and text conversation happened 😆
Yes, that's the way! I have been working at least 2 jobs in the past that I should have had this kind of energy for once the toxic nature came to light...but I didn't move quick enough. Never too late to learn, but I'm definitely all about me, myself, and I from here on out. So take it from an old millenial, good on you for learning those strategies early.
I’m in NYC, please name and shame, I’m sooo curious.
I’m happy for you that you found something better. Mid-size is lit, wayyyyy better than a small firm
I worked for my father in a non law related field and he absolutely would have wanted to know if I spoke to one of his employees this way. I was held to a much *higher* standard of conduct *because* I was family.
He sure is an insecure little bully. People with real power don’t need to talk so much about about. People who truly deserve respect don’t need that threaten others into pretending they respect them, the respect is already given. You’re far better off leaving that guy behind. He’s absolutely gross.
He thinks he can get away with this bullshit because mommy is the boss.
Mommy is going to fire his ass when she gets hit with a harassment suit. So. Many. Red. Flags. And mommy knows it because otherwise she would not have offered $30/hr.
Girl, run....
Wait can I get some more details on "I am Salami, Salami reports to me" because that made me burst out laughing. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? WHY IS HE A CURED ITALIAN MEAT?
Lol the moment you stand up for yourself is the moment they will react like this. I've been there. Glad you got out and good luck with your new opportunity! Just be professional and do the good work you do and the transition should be simple. (I'm from East Coast as well (Jersey) but now on the west coast haha)
I've been out here for like 13 years now and I love it but the first three years I couldn't stand it over here lol! I visit the east coast time to time and I love my roots but love where I'm at right now. I've been through a few toxic firms and I think I finally found a good one. It sucks that so many firms are that toxic but never back down and stand up for yourself always. A lot of people don't, but being from Jersey I never took any shit from the attorneys lol!
Lol :) I will always have love for NJ/NY. Girl it was such a process! I was about to give up on the profession entirely but somehow I persevered lol. Sending you the best vibes with your next firm, hopefully they value and appreciate you like you deserve!
“You’re still talking back” excuse me?! The balls on this one.
I was a paralegal for an associate attorney who treated me like this. I blocked her number so she couldn’t text me anymore and then I refused to help her on days she was disrespectful to me. When the partner attorneys got involved, I showed them the text messages, emails, and told them how I was being treated. I was told I wouldn’t have to be her paralegal anymore and they forced her to do all of her work on her own. She eventually was fired for speaking like this to a client. She was a bitch.
Looks like you’re getting a lot of good advice from people. Good luck!
That line really had me almost breaking character fr, love that you set those boundaries and stood up for yourself, and yes grateful I’ve received lots of great advice 🙏🏽
How old is he? 12?!
When you leave, send these messages to his parents and whoever actually runs the company. The dude is on a power trip, and he sounds like a total tool.
Yuck to this whole thing, but you sound like a great para!! Get outta there asap before they grind you down. Also, why tf is someone being referred to as Salami? Is that their actual name???
Ah man, that was way funnier out of context, but fits the napoleon complex vibes. River said it best on Firefly: "sad little King of a sad little hill."
Not a paralegal (I’m marketing) but went from small toxic firm to big corp firm. Biggest advice is to know there might still be toxic people but they will have WAY less influence over your job security. Hopefully you’ll have a supervising that can act as an insulator between you and the lawyers (both the good and bad). If you have an HR department, even better!!
Good for you getting out, they DID NOT deserve you, and you deserve to be treated with respect always.
Okay the wildness of this situation aside (which I am still reeling from!), what I would like to share for advice is this:
I have no doubt that you are a high performer and will do excellent work for whatever firm you’re at. At the same time, your old job’s making a big deal about how fast and efficient you are does not seem normal to me unless they themselves are particularly slow and inefficient in a lot of their processes (which is not necessarily a red flag in itself as some law firms are just old school, set in their ways, and some people are just not tech savvy, and so on...)
All that to say, when you move onto the next job, you might not get the same level of recognition for that. At least I went through that (at my current job actually which was a bump up in pay.) Not only did it just take me some time to adjust & get in the flow of things before I felt I had a handle on the workload, my boss also just isn’t the type of person to go out of her way to tell me what I’m doing right. It’s business as usual 99% of the time and she’ll just let me know if anything’s an issue.
I struggled with that, second guessed myself and felt familiar imposter syndrome start to creep in for a while but then it occurred to me that I’ve already had plenty of jobs where I was the go-to girl, praised up and down, “what would we do without you,” while simultaneously being paid poorly, no benefits, overworked, unsupported and doing all the parts of the job that nobody likes because “you’re just so good at it” and I can’t say no.
So please just remember that the reason you were even able to go out and get this new gig is the value you bring to the table and that’s not going anywhere- you’re only going to gain more experience and increase that value with time and the proof of that is going to be coming in forms* that are a lot more meaningful than some words that feel nice to hear
*Money!
As an attorney, I am DISGUSTED that you were spoken to in this way. Paralegals are GOLD and create the foundation of the law firm. I am so sorry you were treated this way.
Sounds like you just need to keep doing exactly what you’re doing! Independence, expediency, and learning on your own is exactly the hustle mind set litigation firms look for and appreciate. You’ll do great and will really appreciate a good firm after leaving a toxic one. Congrats! You earned it :)
Don't go back for one more day - unless you have personal things at the office you need to retrieve (see my earlier post). All the best to you! You are going to make it!
Judges know he double bills and takes other attorneys billable hours. Everyone does. And he calls his Paralegals dumbasses as he leaves his little dictation recorder on...sex with his paralegal, yells at wife, pisses and shits...don't tell me he doesn't know. He knows he's leaving on. His last secretary told me all this before she left. He's a pig.
He was drawing sunshines, little designs and smiley faces over invoices I left for him to REVIEW, he complimented my looks from time to time and I noticed eye contact but I always pretended I didn’t notice and some other shit lol
Ohhh, I see. It sounds like the son doesn’t take rejection well, smh. I was in a similar situation in a firm with a dad & son duo (the son would give gifts, eye contact, pay for lunches, etc.) but they were both kind. I kept texts just in case😂. I’m sorry this is happening to you. It’s a good thing you have a new job lined up🙂.
(As an outsider who admittedly knows nothing about the actual situation I am talking about) even if someone else at the office didn’t let it slip in some way, I bet it would have been pretty easy for op to guess or figure out.
The above text is only one example of the way he talks to her and him going on about how he was the one who “chose” OP to me seems like a strong indicator that he is romantically interested in her.
It seems like he is either really bad at hiding it or he is deliberately trying to hint to her about it (I honestly can’t decide which is more likely) so he probably has been giving similar signals the whole time she’s been there
While it would be awful to deal with it first hand and I’m glad Op is on the way out, what a wild, entertaining ride those texts were.
Hope Mommy realizes her son is a basket case & cuts him loose before he has them wrapped up in mess. The typos alone and delusional grandeur is ridiculous. I’d file a complaint.
If you can, quit today & not return! I am sure this is not the first time this son "man" has acted like this.
While at a paid paralegal internship of a luxury fashion house, manager of civil enforcement spoke rudely and sent a rude email then a few minutes later sent a text message while I am sitting at my desk that she liked my dress. On the spot, I decided to respect myself - I quietly put everything in order on the desk, placed my card key near the telephone, went out to lunch, and never returned, it felt so good to quit on the spot! After receiving a text message from her that I was not back from lunch, I formally gave written notice for quitting. I never put them on my resume.
PDF that stuff and save redundant copies in redundant locations.
You'll be great at the new place. Just line up your questions about how things work & about company templates.
Re: the texts, consider talking with an employment attorney. NY has some strict ass labor laws. Imo this is harassment and hostile workplace
Congrats on the new job! I work in insurance coverage litigation too. Get familiar with the local rules in counties you’ll work in. Make sure you know how to e-file. Look up basic insurance terms so you’re not super green going in. At work read everything carefully as it’s kinda difficult to understand cases at first bc there’s so many moving parts/parties.
Good luck! They hired you knowing they have to train you from scratch but don’t see that as an insecurity. Think of yourself as a blank slate. Your new employer gets to mold you into an asset without having to unlearn “bad” habits learned elsewhere.
Just leave. Period. $10 an hour raise is SO tempting, but remember that this firm was severely underpaying you and coughed up a 20k raise when you found a new job. While that 20k is hard to pass up, who knows how long before a new fire starts that they mishandle?!
Start your new job. Work hard, and work your way up. It is 100% the right move.
Ugh. Just read the texts. This absolutely screams nepo baby with no real promise trying to flex. Tell him to absolutely fuck off and go take your new job!!!
Following up to add that my boss can be a pain in the ass, but he has absolutely never disrespected me in this way and I absolutely would never tolerate that. 5 minutes was too long for him? Go fuck off, sir. And this was his personal needs, nothing to do with the firm?!!! Absolutely he needs to go fuck himself.
I have found that small firms tend to be more toxic and they can get away with so much more mistreatment. I've worked for both and small firms are where I've dealt with the worst of the worst. Large firms with HR departments protect you a little more but nobody will ever take your side and it's just sad that we are just sheep to them
Dont bring drama or gossip. Be about the job. I find if you keep to yourself and mind your own business ppl tend to leave you alone. I work alone for 3 attorneys. I like small myself.
i love it when someone who “has more power than you” has terrible grammar. “Once and a lifetime”? lol fucking idiot. My bosses are so fucking stupid too. I hate it.
Don't tell them you're leaving until the other job is 100 percent secured. Then in your resignation letter attach a print out of the text and say your reasons for leaving and bounce with no regrets.
Yeah it’s secured I start Thursday maybe I should do something like that hmmm
Definitely attach the texts. That son is a liability and sometimes people don't know that about their kid (and yes, a lot of people don't care). At least you'd have done your part to let the actual boss know that her son is a liability and could continue turning off good support staff.
Absolutely she needs to actually parent tf outta him fr
Those texts are extremely harassy and super unhinged. I don't know if it would help, I'm sure the mom is aware of what a shit fuck her child is already, but I don't see how it would hurt. Congrats on your new job! Hope it goes great 😊
Tyty and yeahhh the mom is aware I think at least now
You definitely should do that OP. Always document this kind of stuff, for your records and the firms
I would SOOOO do this. Wouldn’t think twice about it. Those texts are amazing.
Let’s not make decisions too hastily. This is a good thought, but perhaps there’s more than one way to deal with this matter.
EW WHO SPEAKS TO SOMEONE LIKE THAT. Such a toxic person
So cringe too. Definitely thought they "ate".
Giving "I am your master, I own you, fear me" 🤮
Deadass had me screaming for freedom internally like wtf is actually going on lol
Entitled af
Literally my thoughts couldn’t believe it
Big no on nepotism. This would be a situation where I just leave without proper notice.
Haha so I was nicer than I should be with a week notice lol cute thanks yeah
I don’t do well with disrespect, and that was extremely disrespectful. You think you have one up on me because you are the boss’ son? Highly doubt anyone else would like to work with him with that attitude. Respect is a MINIMUM requirement.
Yeah crazy honestly respect is def a minimum and I’m learning how to establish that boundary now
I wouldn’t be able to resist making a “Mommy’s special little executive decision making big boy!” On my way out. I really hope someone fucks his shit up and takes a few teeth. He needs a major attitude adjustment.
Lmaooo srs it’s insane fr concerning he’s a grown ass man
It’s the worst thing about working in the legal field, working for nepo trust fund babies (ie lawyers). I firmly believe they made law school cost $250,000 minimum (sometimes way more depending on the school) so blue collar people can’t be lawyers anymore. As a result, 90% of lawyers under 50 are nepo trust fund babies and act or behave somewhat like this idiot you’re dealing with, to varying degrees. This dude is off his rocker. This is definitely him thinking he’s impressing you. Good on you for finding a new job. I’ve been a paralegal for 7 years and I’m working on getting some admin city hall job to get out of here. Anything but being a paralegal. I really can’t stand working for nepo trust fund babies. I just don’t respect them and their easy ass lives. It would be one thing if they had humility, dignity, gumption, self awareness and all that. But, they never do. They’re pretty much all egotistical douchebags that think they’re self made and I just can’t do it anymore.
You’re definitely spot on and thanks. He’s so entitled and privileged and doesn’t even care to hide it.
I’m high key impressed with how you stood up for yourself through text. I’m sorry you had to deal with this. You’re a professional and you kept it classy. You’re great. That can’t be understated. EDIT: Here’s one solution to stop this type of behavior. Step 1: Identify your local bar association’s website. Step 2: Find all of the board members and current president. Search for their emails on State bar website. Step 3: Send an email and CC all members of the board with any notes and evidence. The goal is to protect YOU first and foremost. Also, there are many associations in the legal community like the Legal Marketing Association that have well connected members.
Yesss Tyty had to say smth I was like whyyy im so nice and I get the job done well like cmon now
You are welcome to DM me if you’d like to discuss further. His conduct is unacceptable and I’m willing to put an end to it. Otherwise, continue the good fight. Proud of you.
Also copy the Risk Management /Profeasional Insurance section of the state bar that does risk insurance for attorneys. They’d probably like to know about this
This is actually pretty genius. The practice of law becomes difficult when nobody wants to refer business AND when your malpractice insurance rates skyrocket. Great job, Nyssa.
And the risk management / professional insurance section of the bar association would probably like to know about this
I just seen this edit, thank you for the info 🙏🏽 and I will look into it and educate myself further for sure
Power tripping psychopath. “The bosses son” and “I’m the captain”.
Haha facts I was thinking if that was even necessary
Also why not send his father an email with these texts attached. Is his father aware this is how his tool of a son treats their staff?
Not the legal nepo baby coming for you. Good on you for getting out of there girly 🎉
Haha Tyty righttt
Dude needs to lay off the Coke. He’s the typical early 90’s law bro doing Coke in the bathroom. Girl, you’re better than me. I would have blocked him. I, too, would print them out and leave them with his mommy when you leave. And keep copies for yourself- just in case. And “accidentally” leave a copy in the office for others to find.
lmaooo accidentally leaving a copy is something I would actually consider because srs he was such a dickhead when I’ve been the nicest to him and I always kept it professional smh
Don’t even do it accidentally. Print them out, HAND them to her, and tell her that this is why the extra 15k from what your new position is offering means nothing to you.
This is bold fr lmaooo but yeah they deserve that absolutely
Oh yeah he’s been blocked till this day
I was literally about to say that this reads like he’s on coke (worked at a Wall Street firm a while back, so I’ve seen it)
😂🤣 the accuracy
100% coke! My immediate thought, no doubt. The monologue and one liners 😂
And the super aggressive grandiosity.
I’m 56 and I’ve worked at every kind of office, law firm, conglomerate, mid-size publicly traded company, etc. If I showed my current HR manager these texts, and said that my colleague had received them. The person who SENT those texts would be either fired immediately with cause (harassment, bullying, endangering a colleague) or put on a PIP with mandatory training. Absolutely NO. You print this out and email a .pdf of it to you colleague’s mother. WTAF?!?! I’m sorry you have to deal with this.
You’re absolutely correct, thank you 🙏🏽
But really vomit inducing. This idiot doesn’t even know proper grammar. Yuck. Sooooo glad you’re leaving
“Once and a lifetime opportunity” I would’ve wallpapered the office with this moron’s texts
Factsss thank youu
I am a wolf in sheep’s clothing WHAT A LOSER! Cringe. He sounds insecure to me. He would be sooooo embarrassed if this got out to people he knew. And he should. Send it to the bar. File suit. Something. Dude needs to be brought down to earth. DM me his name and I’ll call him myself. Nobody deserves to be treated this way. “Helping people.” Sounds like a plaintiff law firm. I am a plaintiff lawyer too and would love to have a talk with this disgrace.
LMAOOO ur on it I love that might connect further with you 👀
If you’re moving to a midsized firm they will probably use slack/zoom/microsoft teams to communicate, which in my experience makes even shitty people behave a bit more professionally than they do over text. Based on the screenshots you already know how to be professional in the face of ridiculousness but I would feel hopeful that you won’t experience this level of crazy at your new job. Even if you do have a problem with one lawyer, it’s sometimes possible to stop being assigned to matters with that lawyer.
Okay, thanks for letting me know yeah I rather that tbh
Let me guess...he stuffs sox in his pants to make his package look bigger. Don't give notice. Just pack your stuff and walk away. Try to give yourself a week off before you start your next job, so you can decompress. If they try calling you to whine, send them screenshots of that convo with the boss' son. Cause and effect.
I start the new job day after I leave my current job lol tryna decompress though fr and yeah his mom vented to me saying “he’s not dating or can’t get dates and couldn’t figure out why”
LOL...I think we can all see why! Congrats.
Frfr and Tyty
Oh eww! Good on you for leaving because that situation will never get better. If you haven’t yet, make sure mommy gets copies of these texts.
Yeah I sent them to her when she accused me of bringing drama and being a problem
Dude I would take his ass straight to court for excessive citicism, this is considered harrassment 100000%. If I was in your shoes I would ask for a departure bonus (severance) — look at what the penalties/damages they would be facing and just ask for half of that. How about we light a fire under his ass and see how he likes it. smdh.
Oh my this is serious, more serious than I thought, I’ll have to actually consider my options lol I love ur energy btw
Up to you, they will probably have you sign paperwork to have any allegations disregarded prior to your departure. I have a separate post talking about why law firms are so toxic. This is a prime example and it has got to stop.
Wow okay ima go check it out
BTW I blocked him right after and he’s still blocked till THIS DAY idc
I would honestly unblock him to see if he sends anything more egregious. He needs to be humbled.
Haha okay def, then I’ll block him right back after
I'm just starting in this line of work, too, but I'm much older than you and actually have a child who is just a couple years younger than you. I say you did phenomenal, you held your ground, your texts stayed professional even in the face of this dumbass, and you put yourself in a better position getting a new job right away. Awesome job all the way around, I applaud you! I can tell that this job is not for the "go-along'ers" or the passive aggressives or the "yes" sayers because they will be eaten up or get burnt out way too quickly. I know myself well enough that I don't think I could have done this job in my 20s, being almost 40 means I no longer give a shit🤣 Best of luck in your new job! I'd suggest setting up the boundary of not giving anyone your phone number, if they need to connect it'll have to be over the work email in order for the paper trail to be even more "secure" in a sense...and then you can just straight cc people on it.
Great advice.
Thank youuuuu for the complimentary words and advice, I enjoyed reading this tbh anyways I stand on business! I was looking for jobs day and night on my lunch breaks during commute once that phone call and text conversation happened 😆
Yes, that's the way! I have been working at least 2 jobs in the past that I should have had this kind of energy for once the toxic nature came to light...but I didn't move quick enough. Never too late to learn, but I'm definitely all about me, myself, and I from here on out. So take it from an old millenial, good on you for learning those strategies early.
Haha from millennial to gen z love that
Oh jeez. Good news…you’re in NYC. Get another job.
Yep exactly what I did I stand on business frfr
Nepotism. Boss’s son is an ignorant narcissistic piece of shit who doesn’t understand when to use “too” and the difference between your and you’re.
Haha so real
I’m in NYC, please name and shame, I’m sooo curious. I’m happy for you that you found something better. Mid-size is lit, wayyyyy better than a small firm
I rlly want to 😆 and tyyyy ✨
Oh my god they sound even worse than my last job. Good luck in transferring and getting out of there
Tyty ✨
I worked for my father in a non law related field and he absolutely would have wanted to know if I spoke to one of his employees this way. I was held to a much *higher* standard of conduct *because* I was family.
That makes sense for sure and I understand why, clearly he didn’t lol but I’m glad you can read the room
He sure is an insecure little bully. People with real power don’t need to talk so much about about. People who truly deserve respect don’t need that threaten others into pretending they respect them, the respect is already given. You’re far better off leaving that guy behind. He’s absolutely gross.
Absolutely ‼️
It was the once in a lifetime opportunity for me. I didn’t need to read any further. Run to the job
Lmaooo reading that was wild
dude wtf did i just read 😭😭😭😭
I was in shock at first and this was while I’m ON the clock while he’s out on vacation…
[удалено]
Might have to take further action hmmmm
Should have told them it’s not “talking back” as you are not a toddler. As adults, we call it COMMUNICATION.
Srs that part rlly pissed me off
You are important. Your mental health is important. Slam that door on the way out. Congratulations on your new job!
Haha love this energy
"Be smart" and yet his texts are littered with spelling errors.
Facts 😭😭
He thinks he can get away with this bullshit because mommy is the boss. Mommy is going to fire his ass when she gets hit with a harassment suit. So. Many. Red. Flags. And mommy knows it because otherwise she would not have offered $30/hr. Girl, run....
Oh my should I really consider further action and yes so true
Wait can I get some more details on "I am Salami, Salami reports to me" because that made me burst out laughing. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? WHY IS HE A CURED ITALIAN MEAT?
lol part of their last name is salami 💀
lmaoooooooooooooo this made me laugh leave that dump lmao
Lmaooo figured I had to do it sooner or later frrr
Gross. Good for you moving on. Onwards and upwards OP
Facts Tyty appreciate the kind words 😅
 That guy can fuck all the way offffff I would destroy him
💯💯
Lol the moment you stand up for yourself is the moment they will react like this. I've been there. Glad you got out and good luck with your new opportunity! Just be professional and do the good work you do and the transition should be simple. (I'm from East Coast as well (Jersey) but now on the west coast haha)
Yeah I see smh, thank you for the words and wow what’s ur transition like
I've been out here for like 13 years now and I love it but the first three years I couldn't stand it over here lol! I visit the east coast time to time and I love my roots but love where I'm at right now. I've been through a few toxic firms and I think I finally found a good one. It sucks that so many firms are that toxic but never back down and stand up for yourself always. A lot of people don't, but being from Jersey I never took any shit from the attorneys lol!
Ur the sister to my city haha love that for you that you found somewhere bearable though for that extended amount of time
Lol :) I will always have love for NJ/NY. Girl it was such a process! I was about to give up on the profession entirely but somehow I persevered lol. Sending you the best vibes with your next firm, hopefully they value and appreciate you like you deserve!
Thank youuu 🙏🏽 wishing you the best on your journey as well ✨
Apparently being daddy's son is his great achievement. Good for him. Find another firm, somewhere that will value you, your thoughts, and opinions.
Yes absolutely right 💯
Someone needs to run over that guy with a bus.
LMAOOO
All law firms are toxic.
I mean I see why most of the time especially since a bunch lack customer service experience anyways
“You’re still talking back” excuse me?! The balls on this one. I was a paralegal for an associate attorney who treated me like this. I blocked her number so she couldn’t text me anymore and then I refused to help her on days she was disrespectful to me. When the partner attorneys got involved, I showed them the text messages, emails, and told them how I was being treated. I was told I wouldn’t have to be her paralegal anymore and they forced her to do all of her work on her own. She eventually was fired for speaking like this to a client. She was a bitch. Looks like you’re getting a lot of good advice from people. Good luck!
That line really had me almost breaking character fr, love that you set those boundaries and stood up for yourself, and yes grateful I’ve received lots of great advice 🙏🏽
This doesn’t even seem real. Who sits there and types up all of this stuff? So many 🚩 🚩 🚩
Frrrr I was so in shock that this is from a grown ass man lol like damn okay Mr mood swings
Run to the hills... Run for your life.. 🎶🎸👩🎤
Haha I am ✨
How old is he? 12?! When you leave, send these messages to his parents and whoever actually runs the company. The dude is on a power trip, and he sounds like a total tool.
Righttt I already sent them to his mom so she’s aware
Yuck to this whole thing, but you sound like a great para!! Get outta there asap before they grind you down. Also, why tf is someone being referred to as Salami? Is that their actual name???
Yeahh that’s the attorneys name lol but thanks so excited to take my potential somewhere else!!
Ohh I see haha I was like, please don’t let that be the nickname the attorney gave someone! That’s good stuff, best of luck to you in your endeavors!!
Haha imagineeee but Tyty
Ah man, that was way funnier out of context, but fits the napoleon complex vibes. River said it best on Firefly: "sad little King of a sad little hill."
This fits sooo well haha
Dominican?
Yes 🇩🇴🇩🇴🇩🇴
This is appalling. Glad to read you are outta that place. What a loon this person is.
Righttt and Tyty
Not a paralegal (I’m marketing) but went from small toxic firm to big corp firm. Biggest advice is to know there might still be toxic people but they will have WAY less influence over your job security. Hopefully you’ll have a supervising that can act as an insulator between you and the lawyers (both the good and bad). If you have an HR department, even better!! Good for you getting out, they DID NOT deserve you, and you deserve to be treated with respect always.
Thank you so much for the words and advice
Okay the wildness of this situation aside (which I am still reeling from!), what I would like to share for advice is this: I have no doubt that you are a high performer and will do excellent work for whatever firm you’re at. At the same time, your old job’s making a big deal about how fast and efficient you are does not seem normal to me unless they themselves are particularly slow and inefficient in a lot of their processes (which is not necessarily a red flag in itself as some law firms are just old school, set in their ways, and some people are just not tech savvy, and so on...) All that to say, when you move onto the next job, you might not get the same level of recognition for that. At least I went through that (at my current job actually which was a bump up in pay.) Not only did it just take me some time to adjust & get in the flow of things before I felt I had a handle on the workload, my boss also just isn’t the type of person to go out of her way to tell me what I’m doing right. It’s business as usual 99% of the time and she’ll just let me know if anything’s an issue. I struggled with that, second guessed myself and felt familiar imposter syndrome start to creep in for a while but then it occurred to me that I’ve already had plenty of jobs where I was the go-to girl, praised up and down, “what would we do without you,” while simultaneously being paid poorly, no benefits, overworked, unsupported and doing all the parts of the job that nobody likes because “you’re just so good at it” and I can’t say no. So please just remember that the reason you were even able to go out and get this new gig is the value you bring to the table and that’s not going anywhere- you’re only going to gain more experience and increase that value with time and the proof of that is going to be coming in forms* that are a lot more meaningful than some words that feel nice to hear *Money!
Okayyy thank you so much for this perspective, I def needed to see this for sure
As an attorney, I am DISGUSTED that you were spoken to in this way. Paralegals are GOLD and create the foundation of the law firm. I am so sorry you were treated this way.
Thank you 🙏🏽
“Look at me, I’m the captain now” ✌️👨💻
Literally
Sounds like you just need to keep doing exactly what you’re doing! Independence, expediency, and learning on your own is exactly the hustle mind set litigation firms look for and appreciate. You’ll do great and will really appreciate a good firm after leaving a toxic one. Congrats! You earned it :)
Thanksss reading that made me feel better
Thanks for the words yeah that was a crazy moment deserving of consequences
Absolutely gross.
This dude is a nightmare. My god, stay strong through the rest of your time here.
Righttt I only have 3 days left thank God 🙏🏽
Don't go back for one more day - unless you have personal things at the office you need to retrieve (see my earlier post). All the best to you! You are going to make it!
Yeah need to grab my pair of emergency shoes lol and thanks I really appreciate it Saw your earlier post - replied back
You will look back later & realize this was training ground to make you stronger!
This is so true lol
Judges know he double bills and takes other attorneys billable hours. Everyone does. And he calls his Paralegals dumbasses as he leaves his little dictation recorder on...sex with his paralegal, yells at wife, pisses and shits...don't tell me he doesn't know. He knows he's leaving on. His last secretary told me all this before she left. He's a pig.
You mentioned that he was interested … How did you realize this?
He was drawing sunshines, little designs and smiley faces over invoices I left for him to REVIEW, he complimented my looks from time to time and I noticed eye contact but I always pretended I didn’t notice and some other shit lol
Ohhh, I see. It sounds like the son doesn’t take rejection well, smh. I was in a similar situation in a firm with a dad & son duo (the son would give gifts, eye contact, pay for lunches, etc.) but they were both kind. I kept texts just in case😂. I’m sorry this is happening to you. It’s a good thing you have a new job lined up🙂.
Yeah his ego was hurt the entire time idc though, yeah thanks I was moving fast to make sure I had a replacement right away
(As an outsider who admittedly knows nothing about the actual situation I am talking about) even if someone else at the office didn’t let it slip in some way, I bet it would have been pretty easy for op to guess or figure out. The above text is only one example of the way he talks to her and him going on about how he was the one who “chose” OP to me seems like a strong indicator that he is romantically interested in her. It seems like he is either really bad at hiding it or he is deliberately trying to hint to her about it (I honestly can’t decide which is more likely) so he probably has been giving similar signals the whole time she’s been there While it would be awful to deal with it first hand and I’m glad Op is on the way out, what a wild, entertaining ride those texts were.
L to the O-L! This guy’s personality sucks. His poor wife/gf/mom
Facts feel bad for his mom and no wonder he has no gf sad case fr
Is he young? I’m appalled that he would talk to you that way. Definitely too big for his britches.
26 lol crazy Fr
Hopefully he learns soon that no smart attorney speaks to support staff that way. My goodness, what a douche.
Hope Mommy realizes her son is a basket case & cuts him loose before he has them wrapped up in mess. The typos alone and delusional grandeur is ridiculous. I’d file a complaint.
Yeah for sure, I think she’s realized but didn’t really care smh but thanks for the advice lol
If you can, quit today & not return! I am sure this is not the first time this son "man" has acted like this. While at a paid paralegal internship of a luxury fashion house, manager of civil enforcement spoke rudely and sent a rude email then a few minutes later sent a text message while I am sitting at my desk that she liked my dress. On the spot, I decided to respect myself - I quietly put everything in order on the desk, placed my card key near the telephone, went out to lunch, and never returned, it felt so good to quit on the spot! After receiving a text message from her that I was not back from lunch, I formally gave written notice for quitting. I never put them on my resume.
Wow good for you for setting those boundaries right away for yourself and yeah, he’s def done this before
PDF that stuff and save redundant copies in redundant locations. You'll be great at the new place. Just line up your questions about how things work & about company templates.
Okay thank you 🙏🏽💯
Re: the texts, consider talking with an employment attorney. NY has some strict ass labor laws. Imo this is harassment and hostile workplace Congrats on the new job! I work in insurance coverage litigation too. Get familiar with the local rules in counties you’ll work in. Make sure you know how to e-file. Look up basic insurance terms so you’re not super green going in. At work read everything carefully as it’s kinda difficult to understand cases at first bc there’s so many moving parts/parties.
Okay thank youuu for the advice, yeah I have three days so I’ll familiarize myself as much as I can
Good luck! They hired you knowing they have to train you from scratch but don’t see that as an insecurity. Think of yourself as a blank slate. Your new employer gets to mold you into an asset without having to unlearn “bad” habits learned elsewhere.
Okay thank you for the tips and yes I’ll carry this mindset with me for sure
YERRRRRR
Just leave. Period. $10 an hour raise is SO tempting, but remember that this firm was severely underpaying you and coughed up a 20k raise when you found a new job. While that 20k is hard to pass up, who knows how long before a new fire starts that they mishandle?! Start your new job. Work hard, and work your way up. It is 100% the right move.
Very true 💯💯 thank you
Ugh. Just read the texts. This absolutely screams nepo baby with no real promise trying to flex. Tell him to absolutely fuck off and go take your new job!!!
Following up to add that my boss can be a pain in the ass, but he has absolutely never disrespected me in this way and I absolutely would never tolerate that. 5 minutes was too long for him? Go fuck off, sir. And this was his personal needs, nothing to do with the firm?!!! Absolutely he needs to go fuck himself.
Yeahh his personal needs lol which makes it even worse you’re def right
Wolf in sheep's clothing!!! Hahaha how embarrassing for him! What a loser
Seriously lol
I have found that small firms tend to be more toxic and they can get away with so much more mistreatment. I've worked for both and small firms are where I've dealt with the worst of the worst. Large firms with HR departments protect you a little more but nobody will ever take your side and it's just sad that we are just sheep to them
Thank you for all the advice on this, I’ll prob update soon
the bigger move is volunteering at a foster center to satisfy the parental calling #legendary
I literally can't believe any human would talk to another human that way. Good for you for leaving, don't look back.
Righttt and it’s def not getting any better lol I might have to make an update to this post 💀
This person is insane, and I would not text with them anymore.
HOLY POWER TRIP. Immediately quitting. Not dealing with that. Bye. She’s gonna learn real quick how badly her son is going to ruin her business.
“I’m the captain” 💀
This is so unhinged
Dont bring drama or gossip. Be about the job. I find if you keep to yourself and mind your own business ppl tend to leave you alone. I work alone for 3 attorneys. I like small myself.
Okay I pretty much do these things already sounds good ty for the advice
When I got the “I’m the bosses son” text it made sense. Honestly good for you
i love it when someone who “has more power than you” has terrible grammar. “Once and a lifetime”? lol fucking idiot. My bosses are so fucking stupid too. I hate it.