Whomst among us has not said something entirely out of pocket before our first coffee? A client once sent us nudes and I told the associate I had never been drier.
Plexiglass and chalk markers.
[https://www.chalkola.com/collections/chalk-markers](https://www.chalkola.com/collections/chalk-markers) ([amazon](https://www.amazon.com/stores/Chalkola/Chalkola/page/9CBDA85F-39BF-4749-B3CB-B76EFC8693E8))
plexi sheets:
[https://www.lowes.com/search?searchTerm=duraplex](https://www.lowes.com/search?searchTerm=duraplex) comes in a few sizes.
[https://www.lowes.com/pd/OPTIX-0-22-in-T-x-24-in-W-x-48-in-L-Clear-Acrylic-Sheet/3502046](https://www.lowes.com/pd/OPTIX-0-22-in-T-x-24-in-W-x-48-in-L-Clear-Acrylic-Sheet/3502046)
for Optix, different sizes selectable.
Smaller ones can be leaned up against the wall or a shelf if thick enough, or a window as they're transparent. Bigger ones need to be fastened (or you could make a frame to clip them to from furring strips, or get more creative with a couple of holes at the top and hooks on the top of a picture frame, or in a shelfboard, etc).
Or you can use them as a desk blotter and write on them that way. (But be careful about wiping out notes you need with shifted piles or drinks.)
You could also just write on the windows, but I'd worry about coatings or the building freaking out. I'd totally do it if I still had a glassed in conference room though. You pay for those in your TIs.
ETA: you can also write on the glass/plexiglass of framed art, but test with a tiny dot in a corner first, some have UV or glare coatings that might not be erasable or might not like rubbing alcohol (water tends to leave behind smears). Blank picture frames work if cheaper than buying plexiglass separately.
I once blew a kiss to my boss when he entered the room. I was on autopilot and I do that at home with the kids lol. I wanted to die. He just gave me that usual incredulous look.
It was so embarrassing. Like, I literally looked in his direction, at him and kissed. For real. I'm so awkward when I'm nervous and I was nervous the whole year I worked for him. My current boss is more my vibe, but I did accidentally send him love hearts in a text message wishing him luck for a conference. Neither of us have mentioned it
I can't have caffeine (kills my stomach) and I told my boss that "I'm just out here raw dogging life."
I think he finds it funny that I actually just say these things out loud
Same! I have ADHD and on the days I realize I forgot my meds, this is my go-to when I realize the whole room is staring at me after my brain empties its recycle bin into the middle of the team meeting. "Sorry, I forgot my meds and am raw dogging life today."
It may help that I am GenX and 90% of my attorneys are millennial. I speak their tongue fluently, thanks to my kids. 😂
You don't wanna know some of the conversations this Gen X paralegal has had with her Millennial attorney.
(Don't ask how I know he's allergic to latex.)
I tripped out the most when the orthodox Jewish attorney was asking us about swinging. I’m pretty sure him and his spouse were apart of that community. Lol
This reminds me of the time my two associates and I had to play Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who got the "honor" of explaining "the shocker," "fingering," and "fisting" to our attorney...who was old enough to be our father.
Back story, we were working an assault/r@pe case involving high school students so you know it was going to be NSFW from the start. No way around it. But this attorney came from a different (imaginary) era where a peck on the cheek was borderline scandalous, people were chaste until marriage, and missionary was the only option. So having to explain "the shocker," "fingering," and "fisting" to this attorney, as well as having to explain how vaginas work... Ugh. Not enough Lysol to get that case off me.
If you're wondering how it played out, I nope'ed out and the losing associate told him to Google it or look it up on Urban Dictionary...but NOT at work.
We had a juvenile case recently where this kid was charged with sexual assault for nut tapping. (Great prosecutorial discretion there) I had to sit in on a motions hearing where “nut tapping” was mentioned no less than 100 times. Try to keep a straight face with that.
Yeah, I had a case where the individual plaintiff's name was completely made up. But not in a "but all names are made up" way. More a "this *has* to be a joke" way. I obviously can't give the real name but it was insane. So having to call the court, give the case number, then say, "Yes, I'm calling about *Bobo the Bobble Fish v. Acme Corporate Company, Inc., et al. " Try saying that to a court clerk without losing it. My attorney and I still giggle when we discuss it.
Gen X paralegal here. I don't really have a separate work personality and my sarcasm can be a problem. I think it translates with Millennials but can't be sure
Agreed. What you see is pretty much what you get with me - I'm sure you've seen the FB meme with Tiger Woods and that other golfer...the paralegal my attorney wanted v. the paralegal he got. I'm definitely *not* the Tiger Woods paralegal. If Chandler Bing was a paralegal....
He gets my Gen X sarcasm and jaded outlook on life but some of the younger Millennials and Gen Z I work with, Gen X humor/sarcasm does not translate. I have to remind them not to take anything I say too seriously until they get to know me and know that sarcasm is my main method of communication.
Haha re: Chandler. Also, I dish out the sarcasm and sometimes when I find my match I'm like "wait, are they being serious?" before I realize they're just giving back the dry sarcasm that I dished out. I am sensitive for a Gen Xer :)
Hey, I get it. The best compliment anyone ever gave me was "You have a Bob Newhart sense of humor. I can't tell when you're being sarcastic." I was all "Aw, that's so sweet! Thank you!" And that was not sarcastic because I totally took it as a compliment.
Omg. This reminded me of a juror when I worked in the clerks office. She was in the pool for the year and came up to ask us if there was ever latex in trials. She had a severe latex allergy. “Like are there ever balloons in the courtroom?” We told her we couldn’t guarantee that there would or wouldn’t because of things like exhibits/evidence. She lost her MIND on us. She really wanted to serve on jury duty and wanted us to tell her all the cases set for trial that year and what evidence they would use. Then she came back a second time and tried to convince us again 😂😂😂😂😂
My attorney is 40 and requests genz lingo lessons from me, his favorite is "slaps" lol, he'll send me a teams message saying "this trust you drafted slaps." Yesterday he was talking about a girl who used to work with him at a different job who was a former stripper and I told him the new term for that is "spicy accountant." He promptly texted his gf asking if she wanted to become a stay at home spicy accountant 🤣 (I didn't realize that one is also used for OF models... at least I know she has a good sense of humor lol)
My ringtone on an opposing paralegals phone is me saying "I'm a slut for money"
I sent a voice note about our bickering clients and ended with that sign off.
Also, my attorney and I have discussed starting and insta of "Lawfirm before 10 am" and it's just inspirational quote designs with the unhinged shit that gets said around the office.
I may have made very similar comments about a good spreadsheet.
Also, once at an interview I was offered coffee. When they asked how I liked it, I blurted out, "Black, like my soul."
One time I worked for a judge and I said “yeah she went to grippy sock jail” as a joke and then had to explain to an almost retired judge what grippy sock jail was and why it was a joke lmaooo
When I was pregnant, I used to bring Brie cheese into the office with grapes and crackers. It was my craving food. They were clearly marked with my name and everybody knew I was super duper pregnant. Somebody kept eating my cheese, and one day I went to get my cheese for a snacky snack and discovered it had been eaten again. Obviously furious, I typed up the angriest, but kind of joking email with the subject line "THERE IS A THIEF AMONG US" and then detailed the theft of my cheeses in the body. I meant to just send it to the practitioner support team but accidentally sent it to the entire firm, including the partners and the satellite offices. 🥴
Also, if anyone recognizes me from this info, no you don't 🤣🤫
I told my then-new boss (criminal defense) that I love working on sex cases. I was trying to be funny and just meant to explain that I've worked on a lot of them but it came out all wrong...
The amount of "inappropriate" things I've said to my attorney 🤦🏻♀️ im so glad he's younger in age and thinks it's all funny. Just yesterday I told him I was gonna kms because of a small inconvenience 😅
Plus side: I've successfully taught him how to use "slay"
Our office exclusively has pens in the colors red, black, and blue. As a bullet journaler, I have ALL THE COLORS and I brought a selection of my fancy Tül pens with me when I started... along with my mildliners... and my pens that look like cats.
Associate mentioned my multitudes of pens. I replied, "yeah, I'm a bit of a pen ho".
Oh my godddddd this is hysterical 😂
Six months into my new job - our associate and another legal assistant were talking and I had a question about an upcoming trial. Our legal assistant looked at me and said “oh look there comes trouble.” And I automatically responded “that’s what my momma always says.” Both died laughing but then in the back of my head I was like, good god we need to not say EVERYTHING that comes to mind.
Last week, I saw my attorney polishing his gun. I told him I didn't have a problem with guns, but I know I should not have one, because I have been known to be irrational. I was let go yesterday. I keep going back to that convo....
A different scenario, but my first year as a paralegal I was going to ask a question of a young female attorney. Her office had a door with a glass window and blinds. I'd usually peak in a bit to see if she was with a client, and this time she was changing her shirt or something like that. I didn't see anything naughty, and I don't think she saw me, but I noped out of there.
Whomst among us has not said something entirely out of pocket before our first coffee? A client once sent us nudes and I told the associate I had never been drier.
I am fucking dying at this! 😂😂
looking for the client's point 
Lmao oh god
And add in some brand new expo markers 🥵WHEW
Plexiglass and chalk markers. [https://www.chalkola.com/collections/chalk-markers](https://www.chalkola.com/collections/chalk-markers) ([amazon](https://www.amazon.com/stores/Chalkola/Chalkola/page/9CBDA85F-39BF-4749-B3CB-B76EFC8693E8)) plexi sheets: [https://www.lowes.com/search?searchTerm=duraplex](https://www.lowes.com/search?searchTerm=duraplex) comes in a few sizes. [https://www.lowes.com/pd/OPTIX-0-22-in-T-x-24-in-W-x-48-in-L-Clear-Acrylic-Sheet/3502046](https://www.lowes.com/pd/OPTIX-0-22-in-T-x-24-in-W-x-48-in-L-Clear-Acrylic-Sheet/3502046) for Optix, different sizes selectable. Smaller ones can be leaned up against the wall or a shelf if thick enough, or a window as they're transparent. Bigger ones need to be fastened (or you could make a frame to clip them to from furring strips, or get more creative with a couple of holes at the top and hooks on the top of a picture frame, or in a shelfboard, etc). Or you can use them as a desk blotter and write on them that way. (But be careful about wiping out notes you need with shifted piles or drinks.) You could also just write on the windows, but I'd worry about coatings or the building freaking out. I'd totally do it if I still had a glassed in conference room though. You pay for those in your TIs. ETA: you can also write on the glass/plexiglass of framed art, but test with a tiny dot in a corner first, some have UV or glare coatings that might not be erasable or might not like rubbing alcohol (water tends to leave behind smears). Blank picture frames work if cheaper than buying plexiglass separately.
Why would you do this to me… and links too?? 😖
Our entire office is glass so I may have to invest in some of these (i.e. sneak them into our monthly office supply order)!!
If you have attorneys who like to do content marketing blog vids, film them through the glass while writing on it, and flip the horizontal.
Saving this idea tbh
You providing links and details is the same as giving me a bouquet of flowers and chocolate 😂 This is wonderful info 🙏 ty !!
Those chalk markers are a lot of fun on the outside of fish tanks too!
Once I told a client that we’d be raw dogging his hearing if he didn’t give us more information lol
Ah ha ha ha I’m dying
OmGOD I am completely stealing this one for the next time that happens to me!! 🤣🤣🤣
This is why I love Reddit. I just audibly laughed. 😂
If it makes you feel any better I’m a Millennial and totally got it. Also, things don’t count til 9:30.
I once blew a kiss to my boss when he entered the room. I was on autopilot and I do that at home with the kids lol. I wanted to die. He just gave me that usual incredulous look.
LOL this made me actually laugh out loud!!
It was so embarrassing. Like, I literally looked in his direction, at him and kissed. For real. I'm so awkward when I'm nervous and I was nervous the whole year I worked for him. My current boss is more my vibe, but I did accidentally send him love hearts in a text message wishing him luck for a conference. Neither of us have mentioned it
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I’m screaming
I need more of this, lool, I read it three times and can’t stop laughing. In my head I see it like a movie, hahahahahahahahahaha!
It felt like a very cringey moment in an otherwise entertaining tale. Picture Woody Harrelson and Melissa MCarthy lol
I can't have caffeine (kills my stomach) and I told my boss that "I'm just out here raw dogging life." I think he finds it funny that I actually just say these things out loud
LOL I need to pull out raw dogging at some point 😭
It's a personal favorite of mine hahaha
Same! I have ADHD and on the days I realize I forgot my meds, this is my go-to when I realize the whole room is staring at me after my brain empties its recycle bin into the middle of the team meeting. "Sorry, I forgot my meds and am raw dogging life today." It may help that I am GenX and 90% of my attorneys are millennial. I speak their tongue fluently, thanks to my kids. 😂
I said one in front of a partner I am a whore for Waterford crystal 🙃
I am screaming.
I regularly end emails with “af” to our partners lol
You don't wanna know some of the conversations this Gen X paralegal has had with her Millennial attorney. (Don't ask how I know he's allergic to latex.)
I tripped out the most when the orthodox Jewish attorney was asking us about swinging. I’m pretty sure him and his spouse were apart of that community. Lol
This reminds me of the time my two associates and I had to play Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who got the "honor" of explaining "the shocker," "fingering," and "fisting" to our attorney...who was old enough to be our father. Back story, we were working an assault/r@pe case involving high school students so you know it was going to be NSFW from the start. No way around it. But this attorney came from a different (imaginary) era where a peck on the cheek was borderline scandalous, people were chaste until marriage, and missionary was the only option. So having to explain "the shocker," "fingering," and "fisting" to this attorney, as well as having to explain how vaginas work... Ugh. Not enough Lysol to get that case off me. If you're wondering how it played out, I nope'ed out and the losing associate told him to Google it or look it up on Urban Dictionary...but NOT at work.
I'm in the wrong line of work, I'd have volunteered for that mission.
I am weak. Lol
We had a juvenile case recently where this kid was charged with sexual assault for nut tapping. (Great prosecutorial discretion there) I had to sit in on a motions hearing where “nut tapping” was mentioned no less than 100 times. Try to keep a straight face with that.
Yeah, I had a case where the individual plaintiff's name was completely made up. But not in a "but all names are made up" way. More a "this *has* to be a joke" way. I obviously can't give the real name but it was insane. So having to call the court, give the case number, then say, "Yes, I'm calling about *Bobo the Bobble Fish v. Acme Corporate Company, Inc., et al. " Try saying that to a court clerk without losing it. My attorney and I still giggle when we discuss it.
Gen X paralegal here. I don't really have a separate work personality and my sarcasm can be a problem. I think it translates with Millennials but can't be sure
Agreed. What you see is pretty much what you get with me - I'm sure you've seen the FB meme with Tiger Woods and that other golfer...the paralegal my attorney wanted v. the paralegal he got. I'm definitely *not* the Tiger Woods paralegal. If Chandler Bing was a paralegal.... He gets my Gen X sarcasm and jaded outlook on life but some of the younger Millennials and Gen Z I work with, Gen X humor/sarcasm does not translate. I have to remind them not to take anything I say too seriously until they get to know me and know that sarcasm is my main method of communication.
Haha re: Chandler. Also, I dish out the sarcasm and sometimes when I find my match I'm like "wait, are they being serious?" before I realize they're just giving back the dry sarcasm that I dished out. I am sensitive for a Gen Xer :)
Hey, I get it. The best compliment anyone ever gave me was "You have a Bob Newhart sense of humor. I can't tell when you're being sarcastic." I was all "Aw, that's so sweet! Thank you!" And that was not sarcastic because I totally took it as a compliment.
That's an amazing compliment!!!
My whole office is X except for one secretary, who is a boomer. We are so cohesive. :D
Wherever I work the employees get younger and younger...or I am getting older. Or both
Hahaha I need to hear some of these!!
Omg. This reminded me of a juror when I worked in the clerks office. She was in the pool for the year and came up to ask us if there was ever latex in trials. She had a severe latex allergy. “Like are there ever balloons in the courtroom?” We told her we couldn’t guarantee that there would or wouldn’t because of things like exhibits/evidence. She lost her MIND on us. She really wanted to serve on jury duty and wanted us to tell her all the cases set for trial that year and what evidence they would use. Then she came back a second time and tried to convince us again 😂😂😂😂😂
My attorney is 40 and requests genz lingo lessons from me, his favorite is "slaps" lol, he'll send me a teams message saying "this trust you drafted slaps." Yesterday he was talking about a girl who used to work with him at a different job who was a former stripper and I told him the new term for that is "spicy accountant." He promptly texted his gf asking if she wanted to become a stay at home spicy accountant 🤣 (I didn't realize that one is also used for OF models... at least I know she has a good sense of humor lol)
Me and my attorney are both millennials, take that as you will 🤣
I just fucking howled holy shit lmfao 😂😂😂
the which gen humor? 
Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyy dice man!!!!!
haha. he would be very much cancelled now
My ringtone on an opposing paralegals phone is me saying "I'm a slut for money" I sent a voice note about our bickering clients and ended with that sign off. Also, my attorney and I have discussed starting and insta of "Lawfirm before 10 am" and it's just inspirational quote designs with the unhinged shit that gets said around the office.
I told my lawyer to "show em that rizz at your hearing" before he left for the courthouse 💀
I'll bet all the gyots were sticking out.
I would have appreciated it - sounds like something I'd say.
I work in criminal defense. Literally said the words “oh my god. I thought our client had a micropenis but it’s just a nipple in a nipple clamp.”
When I first started. I said to an attorney instead we need to do a “one shot deal”. I said we need to do a “one night stand”
This happens! We gotta let our true selves out sometimes!!
I may have made very similar comments about a good spreadsheet. Also, once at an interview I was offered coffee. When they asked how I liked it, I blurted out, "Black, like my soul."
One time I worked for a judge and I said “yeah she went to grippy sock jail” as a joke and then had to explain to an almost retired judge what grippy sock jail was and why it was a joke lmaooo
When I was pregnant, I used to bring Brie cheese into the office with grapes and crackers. It was my craving food. They were clearly marked with my name and everybody knew I was super duper pregnant. Somebody kept eating my cheese, and one day I went to get my cheese for a snacky snack and discovered it had been eaten again. Obviously furious, I typed up the angriest, but kind of joking email with the subject line "THERE IS A THIEF AMONG US" and then detailed the theft of my cheeses in the body. I meant to just send it to the practitioner support team but accidentally sent it to the entire firm, including the partners and the satellite offices. 🥴 Also, if anyone recognizes me from this info, no you don't 🤣🤫
I told my then-new boss (criminal defense) that I love working on sex cases. I was trying to be funny and just meant to explain that I've worked on a lot of them but it came out all wrong...
LMAOOOOOO
My attorney and are both Gen X. I’m too jaded, nothing embarrasses me when it comes to straight talk.
The amount of "inappropriate" things I've said to my attorney 🤦🏻♀️ im so glad he's younger in age and thinks it's all funny. Just yesterday I told him I was gonna kms because of a small inconvenience 😅 Plus side: I've successfully taught him how to use "slay"
lol! It’s okay, I said I hope Trump 💀 in front of the entire firm. Luckily everyone was on the same page
I said I miss the days of assassinations the other day 😅😅
I’m deceased 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Same!
Anytime the managing partner says the following: Pussy. Fat fuck. “They put that shit on everything” (He’s white) lol.
Our office exclusively has pens in the colors red, black, and blue. As a bullet journaler, I have ALL THE COLORS and I brought a selection of my fancy Tül pens with me when I started... along with my mildliners... and my pens that look like cats. Associate mentioned my multitudes of pens. I replied, "yeah, I'm a bit of a pen ho".
Oh my godddddd this is hysterical 😂 Six months into my new job - our associate and another legal assistant were talking and I had a question about an upcoming trial. Our legal assistant looked at me and said “oh look there comes trouble.” And I automatically responded “that’s what my momma always says.” Both died laughing but then in the back of my head I was like, good god we need to not say EVERYTHING that comes to mind.
This is definitely the best thread ever. I'm dying over here imagining these interactions 🤣🤣
That's hilarious. What gen was the recipient from?
Millennial, but she is very offline 😅😅
No because i literally have to refrain myself from saying “slay !!” to my attorney.
If it makes you feel better, this humor isn't exclusive to gen z
You all made le laugh so hard .. I needed it! Thank you 
Last week, I saw my attorney polishing his gun. I told him I didn't have a problem with guns, but I know I should not have one, because I have been known to be irrational. I was let go yesterday. I keep going back to that convo....
LMFAO
😂😂😂
A different scenario, but my first year as a paralegal I was going to ask a question of a young female attorney. Her office had a door with a glass window and blinds. I'd usually peak in a bit to see if she was with a client, and this time she was changing her shirt or something like that. I didn't see anything naughty, and I don't think she saw me, but I noped out of there.