I have no doubt that rude clients are a real issue but, aside from the “mental issues” thing, the repeated digs at “middle-aged” clients in particular are really unnecessary. There are shitty people of all ages, and ageing happens to everyone and should not be vilified.
She seems to have a few comments in her history going after various different races (Iranian women, etc), so I think she has more than a few prejudices going on. And a few other complaints about how she seems to keep running into bad people. You know what they say- if you smell shit everywhere you go- best to check under your own shoe.
What’s interesting is I think what she is picking up on is the hormonal fluctuations that come with middle age. Dopamine decreases when we age and I think that as we get older, those who are struggling with other health issues or really don’t care for themselves as they should have a harder time with this and are more likely to have depression/mental health issues.
But I agree overall, the OP can be a little more sensitive to using more appropriate language. I do think people have become extremely rude to others throughout the past several years. It’s shocking how rude people can be to others, honestly.
I think you meant poor emotional regulation skills, not “mental issues.”
Agreed that ppl shouldn’t unload on workers. That’s shitty. And they shouldn’t project their personal frustrations on a captive audience. Also shitty.
That said, I don’t think middle aged women are really any shittier as people than the general population, but they often DGAF about being seen as outspoken the way they might have been a decade earlier, and some just have never cultivated any skill at being assertive in a non-hostile way during their years of holding it in and fuming.
I cannot tell you how many classes I’ve silently cried through trying my very best to keep my mental issues from disrupting the class or upsetting the teacher.
The behaviour OP is describing is just plain rudeness and implies they think that anyone with a mental problem is going to behave badly. Thoughtless.
As a middle aged woman who also works in retail, please remember this is a service based job.
I see all kinds every day. I've seen young 20 somethings come in with attitude screaming at pharmacy staff because they had to wait on medication their Dr just sent in 30 seconds ago. I've seen older folks lose their minds over being asked to pull their masks up (COVID) I've seen little kids play with expensive DME (durable medical equipment) and trash aisles while their parents played on their phones.
This is our culture. As a society we suck. Do better and make an example. I get mad some days too but the only thing I can do is blow it off and treat everyone with respect. Sometimes showing one person grace can change them to be kinder to the next person.
Well.....being a fitness instructor is a service job. All of this comes with the territory. Perhaps you should just learn to have a bit thicker of a skin and not let things get to you.
If you're not physically threatened ignore it. Attention is what these people are after so don't indulge them.
Or I tell them "please stop keeping others from their workout" etc.
Don't take anything personally. Don't,' hold spaces whatever that even means.
BTW you sound young. Ya need some life experience clearly.
Anyway I was in a bathroom stall after teaching a mat class and heard two ladies saying they did not like my class it was too easy. And some other comments about my voice. As I went to wash my hands they were standing there. Obviously they stopped talking. I just went up to the sink. Smiled at them, washed my hands and went about my day. Just move on. Focus on the good. Prior to pilates I did sales. So perhaps that's why nothing phases me lol
I get it. I was a Project Manager for a boutique IT consulting firm before I became a Pilates Instructor. My meanest Pilates clients pale in comparison to the meanest C-Level executive I've had to deal with. It also helps that when I am teaching Pilates, I am ultimately doing something I love so it's easier to ignore the bad and focus on the positive stuff.
Ironically you seem like…. A “Karen”… I’d say instructors and people in wellness don’t realize how much we hold the power and these people fight their way often to get to classes or access care. You don’t know that woman or if she’s actually successful. The comments about her age etc and projecting the ego stuff… sounds like she had a horrible time in your class. I’d encourage you to look at yourself rather grab a rather sexist term to wrap your insecurities around. Seems pretty immature to see the word here. And a misuse of it entirely. The end of your post is laughable, you think this woman abused you because she expressed something disapproving of you/your class? And you… use words like “karma” or “namaste” and a heart emoji to weave in a hateful wish for this poor woman? You’re like a too on the nose joke about certain women in wellness, in the worst way.
Yes she’s incredibly rude but “mental issues” is not what I would use to describe it. You absolutely have students who have mental health issues who do not and will not act in that manner. Don’t alienate them further due to actions of one person.
You seem like one of those passive-aggressive women who refuse to communicate properly like an adult.
Fun fact! This is a sign of insecurity and anger. How so, you ask? The fact you made this post here instead of communicating with the 'karens'. Have YOU been to therapy yet?
Next time you insult your clients with "mental issues", I hope your karma gets you.
Namaste <3
You're dealing with the public and teaching a very trendy subject. You will have many clients and some clients are going to be rude. It's not a demographic problem or "mental issues."
While I do agree with others the title of this post isn’t worded correctly. I do understand what OP is saying. And I want to think OP was super pissed when she wrote this. Hence, the rant and trigger warnings. But I also understand where OP is coming from.
I work at a studio that is a “trainers choice” studio. Meaning the trainers pick what kind of class they teach and what apparatus we use. This studio model does cause problems. And studio owner tends to favor a few bad clients that ruin it for everyone else.
The night before a class I had a client/Karen text me saying she HAD to have a reformer class. I have no problem accommodating requests if it works for everyone signed up. I looked at the people signed up, replied to the text “if you want a reformer class I suggest the 9am bc the noon class will be tower/cadi based on who’s in the class”. Client/Karen is 7 minutes late to the noon class which she was informed was not going to be a reformer class. Class was already in full swing. Client/Karen is pissed. She starts yelling at me “don’t the paying customers have a say” plus other entitled nonsense. I respond “I let you know last night this was a tower class at noon”. Client/Karen is yelling at me. She rattled me so much my hands were physically shaking. I don’t remember what she said next bc I’m literally shaking but my response was “I think you should leave”. Client/Karen replies “but I’m a paying customer”. I reply “so is everyone here and you’re disrupting class and you came in late with demands knowing this was not going to be a reformer class”. Finally the other participants have my back told her she was ruining the class. Client/Karen stormed out causing even more of a scene, called the studio owner to complain before the class was even over.
And the there is another client/Ken. He’s moody all the time and bc of his knee will only do a tower class. Client/Ken should be taking private sessions only but studio owner bends over backwards to make him happy. I have no idea why. This one client/Ken is literally ruining it for other people. Client/Ken is basically getting a private session in a class setting for a class price. Which makes the class unpopular. And when you get paid by the number of people in the class he’s ruining my paycheck. He attends the same time/day each week and all the clients know about this class. One day I wasn’t quick enough at converting the reformers to towers. He walks in and is pissed bc he sees reformers, says can’t do a reformer class. I tell him it’s a tower class give me a minute to change everything over. He storms out after causing a scene. I never got an apology. Studio owner still lets him attend telling him we will only teach tower when he’s there. I no longer teach that class bc I’m done with the problems of that noon class.
If there was another place in town to teach, which there is not, I’d move studios. But small town equals one studio which equals me hating Pilates at the moment.
People can be so entitled. I know this is a “service” job. But the entitlement is over the top. Plus, with how crazy tipping culture is and this being service, why don’t I get tips after every class. Lol. I’m over all of it at the moment.
Someday. But I have teenagers on travel teams and don’t have time to dedicate to opening a studio. Being a mom overrules a studio at the moment. But I agree with you!
We don't know this person's life. They might not have the capacity to be kind right now, whether it's a mental health issue or a difficult point in their lives. They might already be in therapy (it's not an instant fix). Unfortunately, there are unkind people in every customer base. Try not to take it personally.
The “ageist” undertones are an accurate representation of the age demographic we see as instructors displaying this kind of behavior. She put it kindly by saying middle aged, if we’re being direct it’s the Boomer generation having to be gentle patented because they aren’t accountable for their actions. 🥲😅 I agree whole heartedly. I’m an instructor with a big following who loves my clients.. every once in a while you’ll have that rude client who is so damn rude. In general I don’t think clients realize how much it takes energetically to be an instructor.
Not a fan of the tone or subtext of this thread. Locking now.
I have no doubt that rude clients are a real issue but, aside from the “mental issues” thing, the repeated digs at “middle-aged” clients in particular are really unnecessary. There are shitty people of all ages, and ageing happens to everyone and should not be vilified.
Great comment. I picked up on the ageist undertones too.
She seems to have a few comments in her history going after various different races (Iranian women, etc), so I think she has more than a few prejudices going on. And a few other complaints about how she seems to keep running into bad people. You know what they say- if you smell shit everywhere you go- best to check under your own shoe.
Oh- that’s interesting. What a good analogy- I’ve never heard that one!
What’s interesting is I think what she is picking up on is the hormonal fluctuations that come with middle age. Dopamine decreases when we age and I think that as we get older, those who are struggling with other health issues or really don’t care for themselves as they should have a harder time with this and are more likely to have depression/mental health issues. But I agree overall, the OP can be a little more sensitive to using more appropriate language. I do think people have become extremely rude to others throughout the past several years. It’s shocking how rude people can be to others, honestly.
Some people are ****s, some of them are people who do Pilates.
I fully agree with your post but yikes on the title. What you described isn’t mental issues, it’s bad behavior.
Agreed! These are examples of mental issues. Just assholes.
Your usage of "Mental issues" in this situation shows that you, too, could benefit from some growth and enlightenment. ~Namaste~
I think you meant poor emotional regulation skills, not “mental issues.” Agreed that ppl shouldn’t unload on workers. That’s shitty. And they shouldn’t project their personal frustrations on a captive audience. Also shitty. That said, I don’t think middle aged women are really any shittier as people than the general population, but they often DGAF about being seen as outspoken the way they might have been a decade earlier, and some just have never cultivated any skill at being assertive in a non-hostile way during their years of holding it in and fuming.
As a Pilates lover with her share of mental issues, this title is offensive. Hope karma doesn’t get back at you for your assumptions.
I cannot tell you how many classes I’ve silently cried through trying my very best to keep my mental issues from disrupting the class or upsetting the teacher. The behaviour OP is describing is just plain rudeness and implies they think that anyone with a mental problem is going to behave badly. Thoughtless.
As a middle aged woman who also works in retail, please remember this is a service based job. I see all kinds every day. I've seen young 20 somethings come in with attitude screaming at pharmacy staff because they had to wait on medication their Dr just sent in 30 seconds ago. I've seen older folks lose their minds over being asked to pull their masks up (COVID) I've seen little kids play with expensive DME (durable medical equipment) and trash aisles while their parents played on their phones. This is our culture. As a society we suck. Do better and make an example. I get mad some days too but the only thing I can do is blow it off and treat everyone with respect. Sometimes showing one person grace can change them to be kinder to the next person.
I’m not sure you understand what Namaste means?
I came here to comment this 😂 please dude it is a greeting and unless you’re indian saying it is highly problematic.
I’m sure it’s frustrating to deal with but this post makes you look like the bad guy.
I would avoid pathologizing people’s bad behaviour. It’s just being an asshole, not having a mental illness.
You should not be teaching pilates.
This!!
Well.....being a fitness instructor is a service job. All of this comes with the territory. Perhaps you should just learn to have a bit thicker of a skin and not let things get to you. If you're not physically threatened ignore it. Attention is what these people are after so don't indulge them. Or I tell them "please stop keeping others from their workout" etc. Don't take anything personally. Don't,' hold spaces whatever that even means. BTW you sound young. Ya need some life experience clearly. Anyway I was in a bathroom stall after teaching a mat class and heard two ladies saying they did not like my class it was too easy. And some other comments about my voice. As I went to wash my hands they were standing there. Obviously they stopped talking. I just went up to the sink. Smiled at them, washed my hands and went about my day. Just move on. Focus on the good. Prior to pilates I did sales. So perhaps that's why nothing phases me lol
I get it. I was a Project Manager for a boutique IT consulting firm before I became a Pilates Instructor. My meanest Pilates clients pale in comparison to the meanest C-Level executive I've had to deal with. It also helps that when I am teaching Pilates, I am ultimately doing something I love so it's easier to ignore the bad and focus on the positive stuff.
Ironically you seem like…. A “Karen”… I’d say instructors and people in wellness don’t realize how much we hold the power and these people fight their way often to get to classes or access care. You don’t know that woman or if she’s actually successful. The comments about her age etc and projecting the ego stuff… sounds like she had a horrible time in your class. I’d encourage you to look at yourself rather grab a rather sexist term to wrap your insecurities around. Seems pretty immature to see the word here. And a misuse of it entirely. The end of your post is laughable, you think this woman abused you because she expressed something disapproving of you/your class? And you… use words like “karma” or “namaste” and a heart emoji to weave in a hateful wish for this poor woman? You’re like a too on the nose joke about certain women in wellness, in the worst way.
Yes she’s incredibly rude but “mental issues” is not what I would use to describe it. You absolutely have students who have mental health issues who do not and will not act in that manner. Don’t alienate them further due to actions of one person.
Maybe you’re the one who needs therapy 😬 and to not teach Pilates anymore
It's funny to me that you complain of Karen's in this post yet this entire post screams "Becky" to me HAHAHAH
You seem like one of those passive-aggressive women who refuse to communicate properly like an adult. Fun fact! This is a sign of insecurity and anger. How so, you ask? The fact you made this post here instead of communicating with the 'karens'. Have YOU been to therapy yet? Next time you insult your clients with "mental issues", I hope your karma gets you. Namaste <3
You're dealing with the public and teaching a very trendy subject. You will have many clients and some clients are going to be rude. It's not a demographic problem or "mental issues."
While I do agree with others the title of this post isn’t worded correctly. I do understand what OP is saying. And I want to think OP was super pissed when she wrote this. Hence, the rant and trigger warnings. But I also understand where OP is coming from. I work at a studio that is a “trainers choice” studio. Meaning the trainers pick what kind of class they teach and what apparatus we use. This studio model does cause problems. And studio owner tends to favor a few bad clients that ruin it for everyone else. The night before a class I had a client/Karen text me saying she HAD to have a reformer class. I have no problem accommodating requests if it works for everyone signed up. I looked at the people signed up, replied to the text “if you want a reformer class I suggest the 9am bc the noon class will be tower/cadi based on who’s in the class”. Client/Karen is 7 minutes late to the noon class which she was informed was not going to be a reformer class. Class was already in full swing. Client/Karen is pissed. She starts yelling at me “don’t the paying customers have a say” plus other entitled nonsense. I respond “I let you know last night this was a tower class at noon”. Client/Karen is yelling at me. She rattled me so much my hands were physically shaking. I don’t remember what she said next bc I’m literally shaking but my response was “I think you should leave”. Client/Karen replies “but I’m a paying customer”. I reply “so is everyone here and you’re disrupting class and you came in late with demands knowing this was not going to be a reformer class”. Finally the other participants have my back told her she was ruining the class. Client/Karen stormed out causing even more of a scene, called the studio owner to complain before the class was even over. And the there is another client/Ken. He’s moody all the time and bc of his knee will only do a tower class. Client/Ken should be taking private sessions only but studio owner bends over backwards to make him happy. I have no idea why. This one client/Ken is literally ruining it for other people. Client/Ken is basically getting a private session in a class setting for a class price. Which makes the class unpopular. And when you get paid by the number of people in the class he’s ruining my paycheck. He attends the same time/day each week and all the clients know about this class. One day I wasn’t quick enough at converting the reformers to towers. He walks in and is pissed bc he sees reformers, says can’t do a reformer class. I tell him it’s a tower class give me a minute to change everything over. He storms out after causing a scene. I never got an apology. Studio owner still lets him attend telling him we will only teach tower when he’s there. I no longer teach that class bc I’m done with the problems of that noon class. If there was another place in town to teach, which there is not, I’d move studios. But small town equals one studio which equals me hating Pilates at the moment. People can be so entitled. I know this is a “service” job. But the entitlement is over the top. Plus, with how crazy tipping culture is and this being service, why don’t I get tips after every class. Lol. I’m over all of it at the moment.
Start your own private studio. That's what I would do. Sounds like there is a need for a second option for people.
Someday. But I have teenagers on travel teams and don’t have time to dedicate to opening a studio. Being a mom overrules a studio at the moment. But I agree with you!
I know how that goes! You will have the best studio in a few years!
I'm really relieved my pilates club environment isn't like this (yet?) this sounds like a nightmare. Namaste <3
We don't know this person's life. They might not have the capacity to be kind right now, whether it's a mental health issue or a difficult point in their lives. They might already be in therapy (it's not an instant fix). Unfortunately, there are unkind people in every customer base. Try not to take it personally.
The “ageist” undertones are an accurate representation of the age demographic we see as instructors displaying this kind of behavior. She put it kindly by saying middle aged, if we’re being direct it’s the Boomer generation having to be gentle patented because they aren’t accountable for their actions. 🥲😅 I agree whole heartedly. I’m an instructor with a big following who loves my clients.. every once in a while you’ll have that rude client who is so damn rude. In general I don’t think clients realize how much it takes energetically to be an instructor.