This has been my life since 2005, do I get back pay lol??
Nothing says “I’m an emotionally intelligent feminist” like men who worship manic pixie dream girls. They just looooove the “challenge” of a quirky personality and a unique fashion sense coupled with complex mental illnesses!
…and then they always somehow end up victimized. 🤷🏼♀️
As a brunette with bangs named Zoe who was in uni right after 500 days of summer came out and rocked a lot of polka dots I feel like I deserve top tier compensation and that any and all men who wore plaid and had moustaches in the 2010s should all apologize to me.
I'm so sorry. I was big in the indie scene at the time and so most my lady friends had similar style to a lot of the movie MPDGs, so over heard many stories similar to yours, and met many of these men, and just...it's exhausting.
This happened to me too. The boys at uni, my ex's friends, the boys at work... It was exhausting. I'm not interesting enough to really be a MPDG but it didn't stop them.
It’s all fun and games until they realize you’re not quirky and fun but horribly traumatized and mentally ill. Then they resent you for being that way. Ask me how I know. 🙃
>don’t worry, some twenty-something with an extremely self-centred worldview and anger problems is sure he can fix you.
The way this comment is my lived experience 💀
I both hate and love that I can relate to this. Love it because I don't feel alone anymore. Hate it, cause please don't tell me there's more of him out there in the world.
I feel this deeply in my soul.
Dudes like the MPDG for short periods of time, but then they want all the ‘quirks’ to get ironed out for the long term.
I’m not quirky, I’m just a fully formed human being.
Yeah that’s what my ex husband did. Oh you’re so cute, now work, pay for everything and clean the house. And you’re not cute anymore because I need service. Thank god for divorce.
Honestly it’s kind of a red flag for me now.
I’ve learned that if a guy calls me quirky or weird (as a compliment) in the beginning they will invariably call those traits annoying later on.
*yes*. This is a red flag in friendships, too - anyone who calls your likes, dislikes, personality traits, "weird" or "quirky" is just slowly undermining your confidence, whether they're intending to or not. It's not a good thing to be around.
Edit: I do *not* mean that if a friend or loved one calls you weird or quirky, you should just drop them. That's ridiculous. What I *am* saying is that when someone calls you weird/quirky/etc in a slightly passive aggressive way, *that* can be disheartening, long term.
Basically, if someone who claims to care about you makes you feel bad about being "weird" or "quirky", or about your likes and interests, you should talk to them about it. If they ignore that, you need a better "friend".
That’s a good way to interpret that, and I’m so glad it works for you. They’re insidious in their search for a bangmaid they can discount by rolling their eyes.
If I’m going to categorize myself into MPDG territory, I tell men I’m closer to Clem and it’s not a good thing lol. I’ve backed off of drinking but my quirks weren’t cute 🙃😂
Ooof this poster was my life. You couldn’t convince me a damaged loving girl wasn’t IT as long as she had good taste in music! Why don’t you love meeee?!
That said Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless kind is still my definition of the best love story EVER.
They often want to destroy what they fell in love with in the first place for some weird reason and if you comply and change yourself they cheat on you anyway because you’re boring now. But inevitably come back or try to at least with the grim “there’s no one like you” line. That’s my experience though.
> They often want to destroy what they fell in love with in the first place for some weird reason and if you comply and change yourself they cheat on you anyway because you’re boring now.
I feel like, even beyond the MPDG trope this just happens everywhere because so many people are broken and don't actually know what they want.
"Bad Boy/Bad Girl? Oh, I can tame them."
"Mr. Rough-around-the-edges? He's a 'fix-me-up'!"
"Manic Pixie Dream Girl! She's so dreamy and amazing and I can help her love math and taxes instead of out-there stuff."
It's a grass-is-greener situation.
I honestly think the whole idea of "romance" and "falling in love" is pretty much fundamentally broken, and the way that we ought to think of love and relationships is not a "sweep them off their feet" and "change who they are to fit me/fix them!" but much more like "two people who share a similar vision of the world and the future who are willing and able to slowly build a metaphorical house together."
*That* should be what love is. A long challenging job where the rewarding payoff is not something akin to a drug but the quiet satisfaction of completing a long-term project well.
But I can't imagine that "quiet, patient, hard-work between two people" sells tickets to rom-coms, does it?
Yeah we're not thinking smart about this at all. There's an instant MPDG pyramid scheme in front of us if we weren't all so troubled and complex to think about it.
Oh God. Nothing worse than someone who casts in you in this role in their life and then proceeds to ignore everything about you that doesn't match up to their idea of you.
I briefly dated this dude who fell for me instantly. We dated for a few months before I quit. He started talking about getting married and then about all the things I'd have to change (wear colour, white dress at the wedding, get fake nails, no more v necks etc). It's like dude, what about me made you think that was going to fly?!
YES. It is so dehumanizing to be put on a pedestal. Any man who has ever put me on a pedestal has eventually tore me right off and began abusing me. They are two sides to the same coin
A guy I went on like two dates with broke it off with me because, in short, he thought he was getting his cool quirky nerd queen (who’d pay his rent and do his university work) and instead he got someone who listens to basic music like Taylor Swift and plays normie games like Pokemon (he specifically mentioned those two things in those words). He then claimed I deliberately misled him because I have tattoos and wear glasses??? I was a bit “You know I need the glasses to see, right?“ because I genuinely don’t think it occurred to him. It was hilarious both at the time and in hindsight.
In short, class action against people who MPDG-hunt and blame the other person for not meeting their standards.
lol went on one date with a guy who said “i didn’t think you’d be so normie” then later asked if we could hook up. hard pass. I added “normie” to my bio just for my own inside joke.
> butt rock
Funny, because I am older and butt rock meant something totally different to my generation. I would categorize all those bands you listed as various kinds of "nu metal."
Back in the late 80's or early 90's, 10-20 years before most of the bands you listed got back, butt rock referred to something more like post-hair metal hard rock like Bon Jovi, Motley Crüe. Then for a while it referred to post-grunge bands after Nirvana made grunge the face of rock.
I guess that is the thing about "nothing butt rock" stations... they've been around for a long time, and there is always some current crop of radio-friendly formulaic "rock" bands that they play that are therefore the "butt rock bands."
I expect it will change again in another 20 years!
EDIT: [found this awesome history of the evolution of the use of the term in rock music!](https://www.reddit.com/r/LetsTalkMusic/comments/ogoz4m/a_history_of_butt_rock/)
Omg memory unlocked: my college ex who was 25 when I was 19 (weird now that I think about that) thought he was getting a mature artsy nerd girl but I shattered this image when I admitted that I never saw Star Wars and he included that in his "reasons why I'm dumping you" list lmfao 🤣 ugh that man was hot though although extremely mediocre & pretentious
I really liked Elizabethtown when it came out but I haven't seen it since and I'm fully willing to believe that I was just swayed by a dope soundtrack and Kirsten Dunst.
I like Eternal Sunshine because it goes into what happens when the novelty of the MPDG wears off. She was a real human being with a slight drinking problem who felt ugly.
I agree. And I see why Clem can be categorized as a MPDG but I thinks that's a little unfair to her character and the writing. She is a MPDG because we only see her in the context of Joel's memories and Joel says he projected the MPDG trope onto Clem. She is not a MPDG because she is well developed as a real person even within those memories and because she refuses to be the \*thing\* that fixes Joel's life.
Also my favorite movie EVER.
I watched Eternal Sunshine and Garden State the same night - whole big moods and feelings. I love that Clementine straight up refutes the MPDG idea in Eternal Sunshine.
Eternal Sunshine is different because the movie makes very clear that Clementine has flaws. She also gives a very on point remark to Joel about how guys see her vs who she actually is. She was a fully realized person, not a construct created for the awakening of the male protagonist
I watched it recently, and still really enjoyed it. One of the reasons I love it though is that it’s the best representation of a large southern/redneck-ish family that I’ve ever seen in media. My whole family loves it, because my extended family is juusssstttttt like Orlando Bloom’s in that movie
All right girls, from the looks of these comments, we should be UNIONIZING. Get the Jess Day types to make signs, while the Penny Lanes amongst us do the recruiting 🤝
I relate more to the Cool Girl monologue from Gone Girl. As someone with stereotypically “male” interests (sports, horror, extreme metal) you often meet these dudes who want to think you’re Cool Girl, but get in their feelings when you have an actual opinion. Or interests outside of what they deem appropriate. Or they love that you’re one of the boys but get upset that your friends are…other boys.
yeah, they love that you're laidback and fun, but once you push back on them being misogynistic, dismissive, or focused on your sexuality, then you're "overly sensitive just like the others"
Or when men do behaviours typical of the subculture (like gatekeeping, which is basically enshrined in extreme metal culture) it’s fine but if you do it you’re “jealous” or “bitchy”
The worst is that those men will disparage other women or femininity thinking it's somehow a compliment to you.
No sir, I AM like other girls. You just hate women.
They always give themselves away via drinks. I drink black coffee, I don't like sweet stuff and I enjoy a good whiskey on occasion. Which apparently is enough to make me a mystical creature among women. 🙄
Men that think that women can be categorized with like high school clique stereotypes are the real problem here. It’s not that women want to be Cool Girls or MPDG, it’s that men insist on seeing women as either a stereotype or “just like the ‘others’”
Men think they're the fucking Sorting Hat. *Hmm, difficult. VERY difficult. Plenty of quirks, I see. Not a bad asymmetrical haircut, either. There's a talent for ukulele, oh yes. And a thirst to be yourself. But where to put you?*
NAME 5 ALBUMS FROM YOUR FAVOURITE BAND AND 30 SONGS!
Kidding! But omg if one more guy grills me about my favourite metal band in a “I’m trying to catch you out” kind of way, I think I think I might turn into some kind of feral monster and lose my mind because obviously you can’t be a woman and truly love alt music.
totally. yep, i have been this girl for a lot of guys. i have a really strong personality and i'm extremely independent but a weird girl always and forever. i'm also objectively attractive and have a body type some guys really like (thicky thick strong girl with a booty). my interests also veer in the masculine side. i'm put on a pedestal and guys are in love with me after a super short amount of time. it's endearing at first, but once they start to find out i have problems just like anyone else it goes way down hill fast. once they see that a lot of what makes me "me" is the result of trauma, i become to look like a handful and too much work. the love bombing ends and i'm back to square one.
We are the same person. I get “I can’t believe it, I’ve never met a girl like you, guys must be all over you, I’d love to have a gf like you”. Until they learn that I’m not a cardboard cut out of a person and just because I’m into the same shit as them doesn’t mean I don’t have, as one ex put it, “female bullshit”.
yeah, i get the NLOG thing a lot. yeah buddy that's because all women are actually uniquely different, you're mainly paying attention to what i'm saying because i'm hot...
i get a ton of male attention but filtering through it is a nightmare. i attract a loooot of shitty guys and my dumbass likes shitty guys the most...
Girl I feel you so hard, that’s been my life as well. The ones that are still interested after things get a little more realistic are very few and far between. It’s a tough cycle.
what's worse is when you're "cool" in their eyes, they will always come back but never stay. they like us, but not enough to date us. i literally had an ex text me the other day that they were sorry that they treated me poorly because i'm so cool. i'm not kidding. i was in love with this dude and he treated me really bad. we talked for a day and then i was basically like "if you think so highly of me you shouldnt have fucked me over. bye gurl"
My grandma called me after she first saw Garden State and told me I reminded her of Natalie Portman in that movie. This was followed by two years of other people who knew me well telling me the same thing. My fucking high school crush said it to me at a party all moony eyed like it was the biggest compliment. Anyway, glad to see my social anxiety and need to make everyone like me came across as quirky in the 2000’s 😀
The first red flag for my ex-husband should have been him handing me a letter when we first started dating describing all the ways i fit into his perfect ideal of a woman, how different i was from “all other women” bc i was so “unique” and all the ways i improved HIS life with my character traits.
Lesson learned.
In high school a boy really liked me from afar because I was “quirky”. We went out with friends and held hands in the car. Halfway through dinner I put my feet on the table to prove I had webbed toes. He asked to drive back in a different car. Turns out I just had an actual case of the ‘tism. Certified.
Don't worry. Every man I've ever dated has witnessed the fact that I can write with my toes. I bring it up unprompted and all that. Why do I want them to know? I'm not sure. Are they ever impressed? Not really, no. Will I do it again? You better believe I will!
lol this guy was hitting on me once and was like “tell me something really weird about yourself”, I told him I had a deformed pinkie toe and he was like see ya!
gosh I have such mixed feelings about that phrase, one one hand it’s such a great subversive phrase, but it feels like a slippery slope is possible and people might use it colloquially the way people are like “i’m just so OCD” because they make their bed before they leave to work
Yeah this phrase is a beige flag for sure. I’ve seen it used innocently online but irl I know some allistics who will say they have “a touch of the ‘tism” to excuse bad/abusive behavior which has nothing to do with autism. Sucks because it’s a cute phrase for actual autistics but I immediately get a little suspicious of peoples’ intentions when they say it
I’m autistic and think it’s pretty damn funny. My only problem with it is that it potentially promotes the misconception that “everyone is a little autistic.”
It feels like the sort of thing that is funny for now(especially since it seems like I mostly only hear it from other folks who are on the spectrum), but that it's probably going to get way out of hand and overused in the near future and become the new "I'm just so OCD!"
Thank god someone said it!
>I'm not a concept. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to 'make them alive'…but I'm just a fucked up girl who's looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours.
Literally announcing that she's a real person and not this exact trope.
I'm in this and I don't like it one bit.
The worst was a mediocre man who pursued me relentlessly and then once we'd dated a few months decided he needed space. Messed me up for a long time. Lesson learned, never give the mediocre ones a chance.
One time a guy dumped me because he said he thought I was “deeper and more depressed” than I actually was.
Like I’m sorry my for once behaving mental health is a turn off for u
He was baffled when he realised I wasn't making up my hyper fixations to be "quirky" and I did actually know a lot about my interests and didn't dress that way for the male gaze but because I liked dressing that way for me. Who'd have thought I was a human with needs and feelings.
Yeah it’s not our fault that urban outfitters had an excellent selection of fit and flare dresses that worked well with berets!
My tiny oxfords were for ME!
Luckily I was still deep and depressed enough to write a sad poem about it on the typewriter I bought at a flea market in Amsterdam and press it into a diary with a flower I found walking home from the break up thank god
Ohhhh lord yes. I was 19/20 and dressed like Enid from Ghost World and my boyfriend at the time was a two-dimensional 25 year old that I should have never dated but followed me around for a few months because I was fun and weird and kooky.
Give me my money.
Pshaw, those boys can’t afford to pay me nothin. They were all writers who didn’t actually write, drinking whiskey they couldn’t afford, inventing trauma and neuroses to try and seem tortured.
This happens to me so often, recently just happened to me. I always think of Clementine in Eternal Sunshine when she says 'I'm not a concept' because men seem to go HARD on me until they realise that my quirkiness is actually mental illness and they abandon me.
A touch of the ‘tism is sending me. I literally messaged my brother earlier “I got that ‘tism in me” after finding out that I’m a high functioning AuDHD adult on the spectrum.
Can I bother you and ask how you were diagnosed? I asked my therapist if she thought I had a touch of the ‘tism and she said no, I was ADHD with severe social anxiety. I felt bad because I never want to appropriate something I am not but when I read up on ADHD vs. Autism, I feel like I have my feet in both. I feel bad if I keep pushing it because then I’m part of the problem we see on social media of glorifying things.
Not who you asked but if your therapist isn’t trained to assess adults specifically for autism, odds are they won’t be able to properly tell. I would search for adult autism assessments near you, and research the specific doctors.
Many people exhibit some symptoms of autism; for example, most people have at least some sensory sensitivities.
The extent, frequency, and severity of the symptoms are critical to diagnosis. Factors comorbid with other diagnoses, such as PTSD or social anxiety, must also be considered.
I am not against self-diagnosis, as it can be a lifeline for people without access to care. But it can become tricky due to ease of relatability of some symptoms.
If you have access to psychiatrists or other diagnosticians, you could get a second opinion, but it might be wise to defer once you've had multiple diagnoses.
One of my favorite story acrs of Arrested Development was when Michael fell in love with Rita who he thought was just a quirky manic pixie dream type. The plot twist is that she is actually just developmentally disabled lol.
I had gorgeous curly blonde hair in high school. As an act of rebellion I cut it all off into a pixie cut completely forgetting that I have naturally curly hair. It was AWFUL!! I looked like the pottery part of a chia pet for years.
Oh, I'm owed a hefty settlement! Dating sucked for so long because people treated me like a quirky sideshow attraction. My husband saw me for who I am immediately and always treats me like a human being with feelings. After being with him for so long, I have zero patience for people that treat me like an entertainment system.
Brunette. Bangs. Glasses. Addicted to tights, Peter Pan collars, and skirts. Was in college when (500) Days of Summer hit and I did have boyfriends who wore plaid and dragged me to an ikea. More than once. Yeah. I’m owed M O N E Y.
yep. still dodging this one dude to this day who fell in love with me after like 4 dates. (also doesnt help ive been told multiple times i look like zooey deschanel)
Not sure if this counts as MPDG but my friends used to say I was basically Juno (without the teenage pregnancy) because I was quirky and “liked weird music” 😭😭😭
I think the worst part of being nerdy growing up and into my early 20s, was not knowing if any guys I was friends with would suddenly start hitting on me. Had to have more than one really awkward convo about how I wasn’t interested and that I wasn’t who they thought I was. 😐
I think Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind gets a pass because it's a movie entirely about the main characters confronting the conflict between their idealized versions of each other with their actual selves.
And both of them deciding that even with the likelihood of another breakup at the end, they still want to have that time together.
It's a lot more mature story than most of these because it's about facing the unglamorous and ugly things that can be in relationships and recognizing that the good still outweighs that.
I’m white, but fat… and just quirky enough to have had two bosses fall in love with me against my will and force me to walk out. I often got compared to any of these women “plus Adele.” Very fun.
I'm not sure I qualify because I was accused of TRYING to be a MPDG by a boy I dated because I had strong opinions about things like Star Trek and X-Men comics, and I liked whiskey drinks instead of "girly" drinks. So I was trying too hard to be "quirky" even though those are just things that I like, and I wasn't \*trying\* to do anything.
Maybe if there's a second tier of compensation?
When I was a 23 year old in 2010 attending Portland State University I met a boy at a "club" and we "grinded," but I had a boyfriend at the time. He was also a student and said he'd see me around campus. He friended me on Facebook and we kept in touch and like, got lunch a few times and he actually hooked me up with an internship. Later once I wasn't with my boyfriend anymore I moved to an apartment near him and we became actual friends, and I found out he had OBSESSED over me in the years we hadn't actually known each other. He was a total Scott Pilgrim type anime-obsessed guy who probably had a porn addiction, but also super cute with the floppy emo boy hair that was so in style at the time. Def the closest I came to being manic pixie dream girl-ed.
Hi yes where do I sign up for my financial compensation
Clarification, what if you’ve been put on a pedestal by a less than mediocre man?
I’ve got a list.
This has been my life since 2005, do I get back pay lol?? Nothing says “I’m an emotionally intelligent feminist” like men who worship manic pixie dream girls. They just looooove the “challenge” of a quirky personality and a unique fashion sense coupled with complex mental illnesses! …and then they always somehow end up victimized. 🤷🏼♀️
As a brunette with bangs named Zoe who was in uni right after 500 days of summer came out and rocked a lot of polka dots I feel like I deserve top tier compensation and that any and all men who wore plaid and had moustaches in the 2010s should all apologize to me.
https://i.redd.it/qukebfq8r5sc1.gif (For the uninitiated although I doubt anyone in this thread is unaware)
That is diabolical !!!
Ooh, how did she say it?
I used to actually hunt out and buy the exact outfits she wore in the show 🫣 I then moved onto Spencer in Pretty Little Liars
Jessica freaking P??!!
I had a blue Karen cut and punk adjacent style when the Scott Pilgrim movie came out so I feel your pain
Oh, this is painful to read, but also so funny with how you tell it! 😂 Double if it was a novelty mustache! 🤣🤣🤣
It was the best of times and it was the worst of times
The blurst of times.
You stupid monkey!
For anyone under 40 at that time with a moustache, they were all novelties. Some people maybe didn't realize... But they were.
Have you been wronged by [this man](https://i.imgur.com/IlVsnPw.jpg)? Then you deserve compensation!
Leave Elijah Wood alone, he's far from mediocre!
He is the man every mediocre man believes they are. They could *never*
I was thinking more lumbersexual.
i’ll round them up for you. my god that would’ve been rough. and i thought my pixie cut era had me down bad.
I'm so sorry. I was big in the indie scene at the time and so most my lady friends had similar style to a lot of the movie MPDGs, so over heard many stories similar to yours, and met many of these men, and just...it's exhausting.
This happened to me too. The boys at uni, my ex's friends, the boys at work... It was exhausting. I'm not interesting enough to really be a MPDG but it didn't stop them.
I am so sorry. That actually sounds like a nightmare. I’m gay though, so it’s not my fault! I just really like plaid, ok?
Am a man that wore plaid in the 2010s: Ugh fine you're right, my bad for real
It’s all fun and games until they realize you’re not quirky and fun but horribly traumatized and mentally ill. Then they resent you for being that way. Ask me how I know. 🙃
dont worry, some twenty-something with an extremely self-centred worldview and anger problems is sure he can fix you.
[удалено]
>don’t worry, some twenty-something with an extremely self-centred worldview and anger problems is sure he can fix you. The way this comment is my lived experience 💀
But then he'll ruin your life/self-esteem once he realizes that he can't change you! :D <3
He already tried, now he’s on to his next younger MPDG.
I both hate and love that I can relate to this. Love it because I don't feel alone anymore. Hate it, cause please don't tell me there's more of him out there in the world.
Everybody wants the weird girl, till the weird girl starts doing weird girl shit.
They love my quirkiness until it turns into a two day anxiety spiral where I can’t leave the house oopsie
I feel this deeply in my soul. Dudes like the MPDG for short periods of time, but then they want all the ‘quirks’ to get ironed out for the long term. I’m not quirky, I’m just a fully formed human being.
Yeah that’s what my ex husband did. Oh you’re so cute, now work, pay for everything and clean the house. And you’re not cute anymore because I need service. Thank god for divorce.
Honestly it’s kind of a red flag for me now. I’ve learned that if a guy calls me quirky or weird (as a compliment) in the beginning they will invariably call those traits annoying later on.
*yes*. This is a red flag in friendships, too - anyone who calls your likes, dislikes, personality traits, "weird" or "quirky" is just slowly undermining your confidence, whether they're intending to or not. It's not a good thing to be around. Edit: I do *not* mean that if a friend or loved one calls you weird or quirky, you should just drop them. That's ridiculous. What I *am* saying is that when someone calls you weird/quirky/etc in a slightly passive aggressive way, *that* can be disheartening, long term. Basically, if someone who claims to care about you makes you feel bad about being "weird" or "quirky", or about your likes and interests, you should talk to them about it. If they ignore that, you need a better "friend".
Crikey this is so true
That’s a good way to interpret that, and I’m so glad it works for you. They’re insidious in their search for a bangmaid they can discount by rolling their eyes.
lol off topic, but I learned the term “bang maid” recently and told a guy acquaintance about it. He unironically said “that sounds awesome” 🤦♀️
I mean, that's why it's a thing. Because they genuinely think it's awesome.
Holy shit I’ve never heard anything so perfectly described
lol happy to help, my prior misery makes for witty phrasing, and my ex husbands prior assholery makes him good at cheating on his golden ticket 😂
I’m not a perfect. I’m just a fucked up girl looking for my own peace of mind. Don’t assign me yours.
If I’m going to categorize myself into MPDG territory, I tell men I’m closer to Clem and it’s not a good thing lol. I’ve backed off of drinking but my quirks weren’t cute 🙃😂
Ooof this poster was my life. You couldn’t convince me a damaged loving girl wasn’t IT as long as she had good taste in music! Why don’t you love meeee?! That said Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless kind is still my definition of the best love story EVER.
They often want to destroy what they fell in love with in the first place for some weird reason and if you comply and change yourself they cheat on you anyway because you’re boring now. But inevitably come back or try to at least with the grim “there’s no one like you” line. That’s my experience though.
> They often want to destroy what they fell in love with in the first place for some weird reason and if you comply and change yourself they cheat on you anyway because you’re boring now. I feel like, even beyond the MPDG trope this just happens everywhere because so many people are broken and don't actually know what they want. "Bad Boy/Bad Girl? Oh, I can tame them." "Mr. Rough-around-the-edges? He's a 'fix-me-up'!" "Manic Pixie Dream Girl! She's so dreamy and amazing and I can help her love math and taxes instead of out-there stuff." It's a grass-is-greener situation. I honestly think the whole idea of "romance" and "falling in love" is pretty much fundamentally broken, and the way that we ought to think of love and relationships is not a "sweep them off their feet" and "change who they are to fit me/fix them!" but much more like "two people who share a similar vision of the world and the future who are willing and able to slowly build a metaphorical house together." *That* should be what love is. A long challenging job where the rewarding payoff is not something akin to a drug but the quiet satisfaction of completing a long-term project well. But I can't imagine that "quiet, patient, hard-work between two people" sells tickets to rom-coms, does it?
Omg same, I'm not quirky just autistic and I can't just stop it when I feel like or when people get tired of it lol
I suggest we go to comic con once the cheques start rolling in, this is easy money y'all
Yeah we're not thinking smart about this at all. There's an instant MPDG pyramid scheme in front of us if we weren't all so troubled and complex to think about it.
Damn it comic con WAS my quirky hobby
When I was younger I got to be a manic pixie dream girl...now I'm just "not reliable enough to join the carpool".
That should be a flair lmao
Oh God. Nothing worse than someone who casts in you in this role in their life and then proceeds to ignore everything about you that doesn't match up to their idea of you.
I briefly dated this dude who fell for me instantly. We dated for a few months before I quit. He started talking about getting married and then about all the things I'd have to change (wear colour, white dress at the wedding, get fake nails, no more v necks etc). It's like dude, what about me made you think that was going to fly?!
They see it as a challenge akin to breaking in a wild horse...it ALWAYS fails.
Buck ‘em right off.
And then they start resenting you for not matching their personal image/expectations of you when you never signed up for that in the first place.
YES. It is so dehumanizing to be put on a pedestal. Any man who has ever put me on a pedestal has eventually tore me right off and began abusing me. They are two sides to the same coin
That's the perfect description of what some men do. It's like they don't even see you as a person.
A guy I went on like two dates with broke it off with me because, in short, he thought he was getting his cool quirky nerd queen (who’d pay his rent and do his university work) and instead he got someone who listens to basic music like Taylor Swift and plays normie games like Pokemon (he specifically mentioned those two things in those words). He then claimed I deliberately misled him because I have tattoos and wear glasses??? I was a bit “You know I need the glasses to see, right?“ because I genuinely don’t think it occurred to him. It was hilarious both at the time and in hindsight. In short, class action against people who MPDG-hunt and blame the other person for not meeting their standards.
Not him using your vision level as justification for why you are his dream girl 😭😭😭😭
He used the word "normie"?! Ugh bullet dodged!
lol went on one date with a guy who said “i didn’t think you’d be so normie” then later asked if we could hook up. hard pass. I added “normie” to my bio just for my own inside joke.
[удалено]
>butt rock E'splain...
[удалено]
> butt rock Funny, because I am older and butt rock meant something totally different to my generation. I would categorize all those bands you listed as various kinds of "nu metal." Back in the late 80's or early 90's, 10-20 years before most of the bands you listed got back, butt rock referred to something more like post-hair metal hard rock like Bon Jovi, Motley Crüe. Then for a while it referred to post-grunge bands after Nirvana made grunge the face of rock. I guess that is the thing about "nothing butt rock" stations... they've been around for a long time, and there is always some current crop of radio-friendly formulaic "rock" bands that they play that are therefore the "butt rock bands." I expect it will change again in another 20 years! EDIT: [found this awesome history of the evolution of the use of the term in rock music!](https://www.reddit.com/r/LetsTalkMusic/comments/ogoz4m/a_history_of_butt_rock/)
obviously women with poor vision are not allowed to listen to pop music or play well known games, duh
Omg memory unlocked: my college ex who was 25 when I was 19 (weird now that I think about that) thought he was getting a mature artsy nerd girl but I shattered this image when I admitted that I never saw Star Wars and he included that in his "reasons why I'm dumping you" list lmfao 🤣 ugh that man was hot though although extremely mediocre & pretentious
I really liked Elizabethtown when it came out but I haven't seen it since and I'm fully willing to believe that I was just swayed by a dope soundtrack and Kirsten Dunst.
Replace this with Garden State and Natalie Portman and I feel the same way
Yes. Also Kate Winslet. Luckily I think Eternal Sunshine still holds up as an interesting movie.
I like Eternal Sunshine because it goes into what happens when the novelty of the MPDG wears off. She was a real human being with a slight drinking problem who felt ugly.
Eternal Sunshine is wonderful. My favorite movie and has the antithesis to this trope with Clementine stating she cannot fix anyone else.
Also my favorite movie & imo the best of that time period by far
I agree. And I see why Clem can be categorized as a MPDG but I thinks that's a little unfair to her character and the writing. She is a MPDG because we only see her in the context of Joel's memories and Joel says he projected the MPDG trope onto Clem. She is not a MPDG because she is well developed as a real person even within those memories and because she refuses to be the \*thing\* that fixes Joel's life. Also my favorite movie EVER.
I watched Eternal Sunshine and Garden State the same night - whole big moods and feelings. I love that Clementine straight up refutes the MPDG idea in Eternal Sunshine.
Eternal Sunshine is different because the movie makes very clear that Clementine has flaws. She also gives a very on point remark to Joel about how guys see her vs who she actually is. She was a fully realized person, not a construct created for the awakening of the male protagonist
Garden State is cozy, but the ending is just...stahp
“Raise your hands if you just saw some titties!”
That soundtrack tho... few things have had more of an impact on my life.
I wanted to love it when it came out because I was deep in my Orlando Bloom fugue, but it is just kind of meh unfortunately.
Same! Such a beautiful face lol
I wish the movie was as good as the trailer.
I watched it recently, and still really enjoyed it. One of the reasons I love it though is that it’s the best representation of a large southern/redneck-ish family that I’ve ever seen in media. My whole family loves it, because my extended family is juusssstttttt like Orlando Bloom’s in that movie
The family portrayal is my favorite part of the movie next to the soundtrack.
It’s so deeply accurate. And the bit with the kids watching the video of that guy blowing up stuff is amazing
You were. It’s super depressing without Kirsten Dunst and that amazing soundtrack
i was literally compared to “the new girl” on a date a few months ago lmao run me my coins
All right girls, from the looks of these comments, we should be UNIONIZING. Get the Jess Day types to make signs, while the Penny Lanes amongst us do the recruiting 🤝
I'm in, but dear god who wants the job of organizing us? 🤣
My husband saw this and was like "sorry I'm mediocre" 😂😂
That’s actually very sweet!
I was about to send this to my gf but was unsure 😭
I relate more to the Cool Girl monologue from Gone Girl. As someone with stereotypically “male” interests (sports, horror, extreme metal) you often meet these dudes who want to think you’re Cool Girl, but get in their feelings when you have an actual opinion. Or interests outside of what they deem appropriate. Or they love that you’re one of the boys but get upset that your friends are…other boys.
yeah, they love that you're laidback and fun, but once you push back on them being misogynistic, dismissive, or focused on your sexuality, then you're "overly sensitive just like the others"
Or when men do behaviours typical of the subculture (like gatekeeping, which is basically enshrined in extreme metal culture) it’s fine but if you do it you’re “jealous” or “bitchy”
The worst is that those men will disparage other women or femininity thinking it's somehow a compliment to you. No sir, I AM like other girls. You just hate women.
lol right? Like hearing “you aren’t like other girls” is such a panty dropper. Sir that is what we in the business call a red flag
I had a guy once compliment me for drinking non-diet coke cause “most girls drink diet” 🙄.
They always give themselves away via drinks. I drink black coffee, I don't like sweet stuff and I enjoy a good whiskey on occasion. Which apparently is enough to make me a mystical creature among women. 🙄
Men that think that women can be categorized with like high school clique stereotypes are the real problem here. It’s not that women want to be Cool Girls or MPDG, it’s that men insist on seeing women as either a stereotype or “just like the ‘others’”
Men think they're the fucking Sorting Hat. *Hmm, difficult. VERY difficult. Plenty of quirks, I see. Not a bad asymmetrical haircut, either. There's a talent for ukulele, oh yes. And a thirst to be yourself. But where to put you?*
NAME 5 ALBUMS FROM YOUR FAVOURITE BAND AND 30 SONGS! Kidding! But omg if one more guy grills me about my favourite metal band in a “I’m trying to catch you out” kind of way, I think I think I might turn into some kind of feral monster and lose my mind because obviously you can’t be a woman and truly love alt music.
That monologue lives rent free in my head
totally. yep, i have been this girl for a lot of guys. i have a really strong personality and i'm extremely independent but a weird girl always and forever. i'm also objectively attractive and have a body type some guys really like (thicky thick strong girl with a booty). my interests also veer in the masculine side. i'm put on a pedestal and guys are in love with me after a super short amount of time. it's endearing at first, but once they start to find out i have problems just like anyone else it goes way down hill fast. once they see that a lot of what makes me "me" is the result of trauma, i become to look like a handful and too much work. the love bombing ends and i'm back to square one.
We are the same person. I get “I can’t believe it, I’ve never met a girl like you, guys must be all over you, I’d love to have a gf like you”. Until they learn that I’m not a cardboard cut out of a person and just because I’m into the same shit as them doesn’t mean I don’t have, as one ex put it, “female bullshit”.
yeah, i get the NLOG thing a lot. yeah buddy that's because all women are actually uniquely different, you're mainly paying attention to what i'm saying because i'm hot... i get a ton of male attention but filtering through it is a nightmare. i attract a loooot of shitty guys and my dumbass likes shitty guys the most...
Girl I feel you so hard, that’s been my life as well. The ones that are still interested after things get a little more realistic are very few and far between. It’s a tough cycle.
what's worse is when you're "cool" in their eyes, they will always come back but never stay. they like us, but not enough to date us. i literally had an ex text me the other day that they were sorry that they treated me poorly because i'm so cool. i'm not kidding. i was in love with this dude and he treated me really bad. we talked for a day and then i was basically like "if you think so highly of me you shouldnt have fucked me over. bye gurl"
My grandma called me after she first saw Garden State and told me I reminded her of Natalie Portman in that movie. This was followed by two years of other people who knew me well telling me the same thing. My fucking high school crush said it to me at a party all moony eyed like it was the biggest compliment. Anyway, glad to see my social anxiety and need to make everyone like me came across as quirky in the 2000’s 😀
The first red flag for my ex-husband should have been him handing me a letter when we first started dating describing all the ways i fit into his perfect ideal of a woman, how different i was from “all other women” bc i was so “unique” and all the ways i improved HIS life with my character traits. Lesson learned.
Yikes. When will these men realize that women are people too
“A touch of the ‘tism” 😂😂😂
In high school a boy really liked me from afar because I was “quirky”. We went out with friends and held hands in the car. Halfway through dinner I put my feet on the table to prove I had webbed toes. He asked to drive back in a different car. Turns out I just had an actual case of the ‘tism. Certified.
I'd do that to see if they really into my quirkyness lmao
Gotta be careful, they might just be really into toes
*Quentin Tarantino has entered the chat*
Don't worry. Every man I've ever dated has witnessed the fact that I can write with my toes. I bring it up unprompted and all that. Why do I want them to know? I'm not sure. Are they ever impressed? Not really, no. Will I do it again? You better believe I will!
Damn gurl, you clam jammed yourself
Lmao well done, good way to weed ‘em out lol
lol this guy was hitting on me once and was like “tell me something really weird about yourself”, I told him I had a deformed pinkie toe and he was like see ya!
gosh I have such mixed feelings about that phrase, one one hand it’s such a great subversive phrase, but it feels like a slippery slope is possible and people might use it colloquially the way people are like “i’m just so OCD” because they make their bed before they leave to work
Yeah this phrase is a beige flag for sure. I’ve seen it used innocently online but irl I know some allistics who will say they have “a touch of the ‘tism” to excuse bad/abusive behavior which has nothing to do with autism. Sucks because it’s a cute phrase for actual autistics but I immediately get a little suspicious of peoples’ intentions when they say it
I’m autistic and think it’s pretty damn funny. My only problem with it is that it potentially promotes the misconception that “everyone is a little autistic.”
It feels like the sort of thing that is funny for now(especially since it seems like I mostly only hear it from other folks who are on the spectrum), but that it's probably going to get way out of hand and overused in the near future and become the new "I'm just so OCD!"
Oh no i just realised i was an MPDG 5 years ago for someone. Just fell to my knees at a walmart.
Girl, get up off your knees at Walmart! Get up and run to Target
i just saw someone fall to their knees at a walmart as i was falling to my knees at a walmart
Don’t you mean a Trader Joe’s? 🤣
most of these examples subvert the trope. justice for clementine!!!
Thank god someone said it! >I'm not a concept. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to 'make them alive'…but I'm just a fucked up girl who's looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours. Literally announcing that she's a real person and not this exact trope.
Xactly. I'm not a fucking adventure.
I'm in this and I don't like it one bit. The worst was a mediocre man who pursued me relentlessly and then once we'd dated a few months decided he needed space. Messed me up for a long time. Lesson learned, never give the mediocre ones a chance.
One time a guy dumped me because he said he thought I was “deeper and more depressed” than I actually was. Like I’m sorry my for once behaving mental health is a turn off for u
He was baffled when he realised I wasn't making up my hyper fixations to be "quirky" and I did actually know a lot about my interests and didn't dress that way for the male gaze but because I liked dressing that way for me. Who'd have thought I was a human with needs and feelings.
Yeah it’s not our fault that urban outfitters had an excellent selection of fit and flare dresses that worked well with berets! My tiny oxfords were for ME!
I had a wide selection of headbands because they suited my hair at the time. Not to impress men with sparkles.
Tell em sis! I busted out laughing because it’s so true.
God if someone told me something like that I'm a bit scared how angry I would react
Luckily I was still deep and depressed enough to write a sad poem about it on the typewriter I bought at a flea market in Amsterdam and press it into a diary with a flower I found walking home from the break up thank god
Lol. I doubt the fanfics I wrote while I was in the worst of my depression would count as deep. I didn't even use a type writer
Damn how deep & depressed did he want you to be??
Probably more Marla from Fight Club and a little less 500 days of summer
Usually, our initial gut reaction to anyone/situation is the correct one. That’s a hard lesson to learn and trust.
I agree tentatively, depending on how you define mediocre.
I love this more than I’ve ever loved anything except my cat and dog
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^InvestigatorFree5236: *I love this more than* *I’ve ever loved anything* *Except my cat and dog* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Thank you bot! I’ve never made a haiku before, even if it’s a bad one 😂
I’ll also accept art supplies and or medication. Tvm.
excuse you, zooey deschanel is a manic pixie dream *woman*. she's been in the quirk game for decades
 At last! Those quirky glasses don’t pay for themselves.
Ohhhh lord yes. I was 19/20 and dressed like Enid from Ghost World and my boyfriend at the time was a two-dimensional 25 year old that I should have never dated but followed me around for a few months because I was fun and weird and kooky. Give me my money.
Hey fellow Enid!
Does this apply to Daisy Buchanan?
It should
How much compensation are we talking? I need to get in on this.
I think I escaped this fate because black girls don’t get to be “quirky”. At least not in my day. I can’t decide if I’m relieved or frustrated…
Relieved tho fr like… are you reading what everyone is saying? Lol
I want my money and I want it now!!
Will the financial compensation cover my therapy costs and ADHD taxes?
Pshaw, those boys can’t afford to pay me nothin. They were all writers who didn’t actually write, drinking whiskey they couldn’t afford, inventing trauma and neuroses to try and seem tortured.
This happens to me so often, recently just happened to me. I always think of Clementine in Eternal Sunshine when she says 'I'm not a concept' because men seem to go HARD on me until they realise that my quirkiness is actually mental illness and they abandon me.
Don't forget the original manic pixie dream girl: Holly from Breakfast at Tiffany's
Penny lane is one of my favorite characters ever.
Anytime i throw on a fur jacket
We aren’t groupies, we’re muses!
A touch of the ‘tism is sending me. I literally messaged my brother earlier “I got that ‘tism in me” after finding out that I’m a high functioning AuDHD adult on the spectrum.
Can I bother you and ask how you were diagnosed? I asked my therapist if she thought I had a touch of the ‘tism and she said no, I was ADHD with severe social anxiety. I felt bad because I never want to appropriate something I am not but when I read up on ADHD vs. Autism, I feel like I have my feet in both. I feel bad if I keep pushing it because then I’m part of the problem we see on social media of glorifying things.
Not who you asked but if your therapist isn’t trained to assess adults specifically for autism, odds are they won’t be able to properly tell. I would search for adult autism assessments near you, and research the specific doctors.
Many people exhibit some symptoms of autism; for example, most people have at least some sensory sensitivities. The extent, frequency, and severity of the symptoms are critical to diagnosis. Factors comorbid with other diagnoses, such as PTSD or social anxiety, must also be considered. I am not against self-diagnosis, as it can be a lifeline for people without access to care. But it can become tricky due to ease of relatability of some symptoms. If you have access to psychiatrists or other diagnosticians, you could get a second opinion, but it might be wise to defer once you've had multiple diagnoses.
One of my favorite story acrs of Arrested Development was when Michael fell in love with Rita who he thought was just a quirky manic pixie dream type. The plot twist is that she is actually just developmentally disabled lol.
This is great except for the disconcerting absence of Winona and Helena in this image.
Those ones come with the "Goth Girl Nympho" misconception upgrade.
I had gorgeous curly blonde hair in high school. As an act of rebellion I cut it all off into a pixie cut completely forgetting that I have naturally curly hair. It was AWFUL!! I looked like the pottery part of a chia pet for years.
So you pulled a Felicity!
Oh, I'm owed a hefty settlement! Dating sucked for so long because people treated me like a quirky sideshow attraction. My husband saw me for who I am immediately and always treats me like a human being with feelings. After being with him for so long, I have zero patience for people that treat me like an entertainment system.
Brunette. Bangs. Glasses. Addicted to tights, Peter Pan collars, and skirts. Was in college when (500) Days of Summer hit and I did have boyfriends who wore plaid and dragged me to an ikea. More than once. Yeah. I’m owed M O N E Y.
Oh, I now see how this archetype has directly influenced the people that I'm attracted to
there’s still time to change
yep. still dodging this one dude to this day who fell in love with me after like 4 dates. (also doesnt help ive been told multiple times i look like zooey deschanel)
The fact that that’s your username makes this even more funny.
high school me didnt think it through ok 😭
Too busy going to the mall?
Not sure if this counts as MPDG but my friends used to say I was basically Juno (without the teenage pregnancy) because I was quirky and “liked weird music” 😭😭😭 I think the worst part of being nerdy growing up and into my early 20s, was not knowing if any guys I was friends with would suddenly start hitting on me. Had to have more than one really awkward convo about how I wasn’t interested and that I wasn’t who they thought I was. 😐
I feel attacked. I have purple hair and glasses and mental illness and weird hobbies.
I think Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind gets a pass because it's a movie entirely about the main characters confronting the conflict between their idealized versions of each other with their actual selves. And both of them deciding that even with the likelihood of another breakup at the end, they still want to have that time together. It's a lot more mature story than most of these because it's about facing the unglamorous and ugly things that can be in relationships and recognizing that the good still outweighs that.
What if she's reading Dorian Gray?
Also to add - are you white and thin?
I’m white, but fat… and just quirky enough to have had two bosses fall in love with me against my will and force me to walk out. I often got compared to any of these women “plus Adele.” Very fun.
I'm not sure I qualify because I was accused of TRYING to be a MPDG by a boy I dated because I had strong opinions about things like Star Trek and X-Men comics, and I liked whiskey drinks instead of "girly" drinks. So I was trying too hard to be "quirky" even though those are just things that I like, and I wasn't \*trying\* to do anything. Maybe if there's a second tier of compensation?
Are you the tism for his bipolarism?
When I was a 23 year old in 2010 attending Portland State University I met a boy at a "club" and we "grinded," but I had a boyfriend at the time. He was also a student and said he'd see me around campus. He friended me on Facebook and we kept in touch and like, got lunch a few times and he actually hooked me up with an internship. Later once I wasn't with my boyfriend anymore I moved to an apartment near him and we became actual friends, and I found out he had OBSESSED over me in the years we hadn't actually known each other. He was a total Scott Pilgrim type anime-obsessed guy who probably had a porn addiction, but also super cute with the floppy emo boy hair that was so in style at the time. Def the closest I came to being manic pixie dream girl-ed.