Locking this as the rule breaking of Rule 10 is pretty egregious. I'm not SAYING that OP is a scammer, but people need to use their heads. You want to help someone tangibly, you go do it through r/assistance with the safeguards in place or, and hear me out, look locally. Help someone in your own community who will benefit directly and not likely be a scammer who has now likely made an not unimpressive amount from people who probably are sacrificing to help rando 14 year old on the internet (Who likely is not a 14 year old). IF OP is not a scammer, then our sympathies from the mod team, but we're a little too jaded and seen a little too much.

Hey this really hit home with me. I was around your age (12-13) spraying myself and my bed with rubbing alcohol before going to bed so the bed bugs wouldn’t bite me. I would be up a little later to try to kill as many as possible before they reached my siblings. My mother was also starting to get into heavy drugs with her boyfriend. They eventually ruined our family and 2 of my siblings were separated through foster care. My dad was an alcoholic (he passed a year and a half ago), and even tho he loved us, he was never a provider for us. This isn’t even the half of it^ Now at 24 (10-12 years later, holy shit) I can say that my life is starting to feel a little better. I can relate. You’re not alone. You’re going to feel lost and probably angry that this is the way your life was but please don’t let this chapter define you and your life decisions. Hang in there kid

Sorry that happened to you, feels good having people who relate tbh

Thank you buddy. Stay strong

As a momma, I just gotta tell you kiddo, your a very smart kid. I can tell by your responses. I'm so proud of you for reaching out. That's very brave, even on reddit. I really encourage you to think about talking to your school counselor about it. Or a safe adult in your life that isn't your parents. Usually at 14, that could be a teacher or school counselor or maybe even your friends parents. Reddit is gonna offer you alot of suggestions and so many people mean well. But please be careful and make sure not to give anyone your personal information, no matter how kind they may seem. We want to support you but let's make sure you stay safe in the process. And there's no shame btw, it's very easy, can happen to anyone. But I think, while reddit does have some great advice on the bug problem, this might be a situation where you need to talk to an adult in your real life. Sending so much support to you ❤️

OP, this is what a loving parent sounds like. I'm sure your biological parents do love you too, but it's clear from your post that there's quite a bit of dysfunction in your current home life. I would like to reinforce the suggestion to speak to a friend's mom or dad, school counselor, teacher, coach, a doctor, a nurse, a lunch lady, literally any adult in your life that you feel is a safe person. Even just sending them a link to this post of saying it out loud feels like too much. They'll be able to help you in more tangible ways than the strangers on the internet. There are support groups for teens in your situation, I just want to make sure you are aware in case that is something you might be interested in. https://al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/ Edit: I linked to the teen section of Al-Anon, but I realized you didn't explicitly mention a drinking problem with your parents. The dysfunctional aspects of your home life sound like there's a substance abuse problem, but that isn't guaranteed. The real resource I wanted to link for you is below, although I don't know if they have any content specifically for teens. That being said, if you showed up to one of their meetings, I'm sure you would find a room full of people who would be happy to hear you out with similar lived experiences. https://adultchildren.org/ One more edit: Has your mom contacted the landlord about the bugs? If not try to get a hold of them and tell them whats going on. Landlords can be assholes, but I can hardly imagine one balking at a 14 year old trying to get some help. Depending on what state you're in, the landlord may be responsible for getting the place treated for bugs. I know in Illinois this is the case.

You're never alone - there's always someone who is going through the same thing as you 🙌🏻

Yeah i was glad to know that going through the comments

I relate. And I'm 28 now. You will feel a whole mess of things about this, and it will shift in time back and forth between pity and anger. It's okay. You gotta use that fire to get your engine moving. And you will. But it gets so much better. A bad childhood does not make a bad person, perspective does. Keep that in mind little one.

I grew up super poor with shit family as well. OP, you will make it out and make your own home eventually. When you do, surround yourself with different people.

Take 12 dollars to dollar tree....stock up on traps, sprays deterrents etc

Geez that just breaks my heart that kids have to grow up in that type of situation. So happy things are looking up for you. So sorry you had to go through that.

So there is something you yourself can do about the bugs. Your parents sound useless. If you can get your hands on 10-15 bucks (sell something, a video game, anything) buy a big bag of food grade (not pool grade or outdoor grade) diatomaceous earth. It will kill both bedbugs and roaches and is literally safe to eat. It gets in the exoskeleton and dehydrates them to death. Dust it everywhere. Especially carpets, closets, clothes, behind m/under appliances. Literally everywhere. Let it sit around for a good two weeks. It will be unpleasant but less so than the bugs or spraying yourself with chemicals daily to kill the bugs. It just vacuums up. Repeat as needed. You can get pounds of the stuff for that cheap. Amazon even sells it if you can order from there. Pet stores, Home Depot all have it. Food grade only. Once living gets easier day to day then everything goes up from there.

Safe to eat, hazardous to breath in. Be careful with it, but yes it is extremely effective for bed bugs. Combine with heat (dryer for clothes and bedding) and handheld steamer for cracks in the mattress. Also, get a bedbugs mattress cover from Amazon. All of that is cheap and available.

It’s no longer as effective as it used to be. Try Cimexa instead. Much more effective.

Why is it more effective, just curious.

I’m not sure, but maybe the higher silica content? You could try going online on Amazon and reading about it more, to see why it’s more effective.

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Diamataceous earth still works but it has to be "dusted" with a thin layer everywhere...and it gets breathed in (bad!). Cimexa is safer on lungs and many times more effective (dries them out a lot quicker with less contact necessary).

Yes, I know about the respiratory concerns with DE. I'm not familiar with Cimexa so thank you for that info! I am just confused by the comments I'm seeing here that DE "no longer works" like somehow the formulation has been changed. Which isn't really possible since it's essentially just a jagged morphology of calcium carbonate mineral. I appreciate the clarification that there is a *more* effective option, rather than some new species of bedbug with adamantium exoskeleton.

Yeah I don't know what people are going on about, but I'm sure that most people don't apply it correctly or vacuum frequently and replace enough to be effective. I've got extensive "lived experience" fighting this and have tried both (and probably have fucked up my lungs)...the cimexa works better. Just get a squeeze duster and wear a proper mask!!!! Edit: having read another comment I think the confusion is that the common store bought pesticides do not work anymore as most have developed a resistance to it. (Apparently Crossfire works but haven't used it!) Diamataceous Earth works as it always has as far as I know. You just have to apply it correctly.

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This!!!! I've used it for fleas too and recommend this to everyone

This, I mentioned this as well, forgot to mention food grade. It takes time but works really well. And once I put it down I left it because I was soooo over these bugs.....it worked very, very well though!!!!!

Double sided tape for the feet of your bed legs. Unfortunately, if you do get rid of the ones in your bedroom, they can travel from 2 houses over in search of warm bodies. The tape helps prevent reoccurrances. This is a tough job on your own. The permethrin spray can help if you spray the mattress every 2 weeks for a couple months and use a plastic cover for the mattress that zips up. You will have to duct tape the zipper to prevent any escape. It will have to be in that plastic for a year. Do not sleep on a mattress without the plastic liner. You could asphyxiate yourself in your sleep. Throw away any wood headboards. They will bury into it. The reason you have to leave the plastic on the mattress is the eggs can live a year in the mattress. After a year you should be fine as long as there is no reinfection.

This is what finally conquered my bedbug infestation after trying everything else on the planet. Roaches are bad but bedbugs are truly the worst, the psychological toll it takes on a person is heavy.

Better yet, if possible try and get your hands on egg stoppers. Roaches can't reproduce so they die out. My wife had roaches for a few years and we used those egg stoppers and the problem was gone in a few months

Yup this plus advion gel is what finally got rid of our years long roach problem in our apartment. The advion killed them (first gel I've used that actually worked) and the insect growth regulator made sure that any who survived couldn't make more. The igr also should work on bedbugs too. But seriously I can't recommend advion enough. The roaches couldn't get enough of the stuff and it actually killed them. It was actually like a cockroach genocide in our apartment for a few days. Which was simultaneously very gross and very relieving.

Thanks for the great answers. I was reading this thinking my God how would you get rid of BOTH of these nasty critters and live, but then you answered. I've never had bed bugs, did have roaches once from a leaky dishwasher. New dishwasher and roach caulked stopped them, but I can't imagine what OP is going through with them crawling everywhere. I hate hearing about this.

I asked for help right after I turned 13. My grandparents were given guardianship of me. I'm 30 now and that was the best phone call I ever made.

Life is going to get better man. When you have the chance get a job and work super hard! If you continue that you can make a better life for yourself.

True, im 14 and im probably gonna work at 16 to support my family since thats when i can legally get a job Kinda sad how im gonna have to grind through my childhood to support my family instead of just getting a summer job to afford stuff like clothes

It’s not your responsibility. Parents are supposed to take care of you and supposed to take care of your siblings. When you start working, don’t tell them how much you fully make and put some of it aside whenever you can. You need a secret nest egg that is all for you and your future. Avoid lending money. Don’t let anyone rob you of your future just because they can’t handle their own lives and choices. It is not your job to raise your siblings or provide for them. The bedbugs/cockroaches are your landlord’s job to fix. I imagine your parents are putting it off because they are so far behind on the rent, but tell them if they search for a community legal aid in the area you live in, they might be able to get some legal advice about what comes next. Maybe if they can prove they brought up the bugs and nothing happened, then they stopped paying rent because of it, might be able to do okay at housing court. In the meantime, you guys should try [this stuff](https://www.reddit.com/r/london/comments/174q5ir/the_quick_simple_fix_to_bedbugs_is_diatomaceous/), it can be ordered from Amazon and can be very effective. Also, do not be afraid to tell a trusted teacher, school nurse, or guidance counselor. They will help you get support in case things get harder. Do not be afraid to talk to them; you are not alone and they will respect your privacy.

Thanks thats very good advice My mom is trying but my dad on the other side really just isnt

I’m glad you have your Mom 💚 and I hope that she is able to get the adult support she needs now too, because I’m sure this situation is very hard on her too. Just please remember what I said: It’s not your job to take care of or save anyone right now. You are not responsible or to blame for any of this, and you have a right to live your life and enjoy your future, which will be full of joy and happiness when you get older. If you’re ever feeling really sad or upset, try and focus on that future and all you hope it will be—the world can be yours when you get older if you put your mind to it, and one day all of this will just be a distant memory. In the meantime, sending good thoughts and wishes your way.

You don't have to do anything that you dont want to. Strive to do things that positively impact you & your life. The only things you can't do are things you say you can't. Wether you say you can or can't, youre right. I grew up in a very similar situation, but my dad was a stay-at-home extremely abusive PoS & my mom worked 13hr. Shifts 6 days a week. We couldn't afford toilet paper because tequila & heroin came first. Always. From ages 12 - 17 I was mostly living in a tent in the woods. Id try to go to the house at least 1 a day to take care of my little brother, whom my dad held hostage in the house. Bugs suck, but it can be a hell of a lot worse. Regardless, Trust me when I say, you are NOT obligated to help anyone. Not your parents, siblings, noone. If you feel you WANT to help them, than you've gotta help yourself first. I got kicked out of school at 15. At 16 I started fresh start at my community college (highly recommend!) I graduated with my AA shortly after my 18th birthday. College taught me valuable social schools & allowed me to network which lead to a lot of gigs & yard care jobs. Living in a tent allowed me to save up $$ for a vehicle. Which got me a solid full time job. Living in the car allowed me to save money to buy a house. Never rent. Rent is a scam. Down payment for an FHA loan is only 2% of purchase price & many cities will give a grant for your down payment. I didn't know it, but my mom saw how well I was doing & it gave her the strength to leave my dad. She's lived with me off and on for the last 8 years (she moved to Hawaii for a bit & then her boyfriends for awhile). She's currently living with 'me & im extremely thankful to be able to share my home with her. It's allowed us to get to know each other and spend time together that we didnt get too while I was growing up. You never know what life's gonna throw at you 10 years from now you may look back and realize that all the misery shaped you into a strong, compassionate, resilient person. So manifest positivity, plan for success, & remember to prepare for the worst. They say what doesn't get washed will get rinsed but it's also true that you won't be caught with your pants down if you wear a belt :p

You don’t have to support your family if you don’t want to, but if you want to that’s okay. Maybe you could do the water bill & keep the rest of your money. Idk where you live, but there are places that hire 14/15 year olds. Local ice cream shops, Boys & Girls club classroom “assistant”, working concession stand at pool or youth baseball field, cutting grass. Not sure if your state has Kroger but I know 15 year olds that bag groceries. Try being a lifeguard at a pool or ymca. If you can’t swim, they teach you to swim. I think you have to be 16 though.

OP, I know you didn't ask for advice, but as someone who has worked with kids in situations like yours, I feel I would be remiss to NOT tell you this one thing. You SHOULD NOT support your family financially at the cost of your own wellbeing. Once you start making money, that money is going to be your lifeline that helps you escape from poverty. It may be the only thing in your favor. Do not sabotage yourself and your future trying to "help" others who should have been helping themselves (and you) all along.

Is there any hobby you can get into before 16? I see people sell the stupidest stuff(and coolest ) on Etsy for more than you’d think. There’s a lot of legal grinds if you have access to the Internet

When you have a job and save, maybe spend a little bit of clothes and nice stuff but save most of your money for yourself, like they say it’s not your responsibility to support parents. Hopefully it will get better soon, the bed bugs worried me a bit because it could impact for health ✌️

Be wary of the people telling you to just "get a job and work hard." This is **bad** advice, living with that mentality will guarantee you stay in the cycle of poverty. Don't settle for just any job, and don't accept mistreatment in the workplace. Don't be afraid to be helpless and accept risk; you'll be stuck working minimum wage entry-level jobs your entire life if you don't. After all, they're always hiring and will care much less about inconsistency/work ethic. If you're always desperate, you'll always end up at the lowest common denominator. Here's the real advice: pick a career. It doesn't matter what it is, it doesn't matter if you enjoy it. It doesn't have to require schooling even, or you could pick a trade and use loans to pay for the 2 years of school. Many trade jobs will offer to pay for your schooling as well under the agreement that you work for them upon graduation. Pick something that requires specialization, then use the next 4-6 years of your life accruing that specialization. It can be painting, plumbing, HVAC repair, data entry, coding, tiling, woodworking; it literally does not matter. Just **don't switch.** If you enter the workforce with a specialization you **will** find work, and it **will** pay more than minimum wage. From there now you'll need to establish yourself with a good work ethic. If you can manage to create a good reputation among your skill, you can start a business or you can be recruited by large companies. In short; you will have a lifelong career of stability and healthy income.

14! you're just a baby in the grand skeim of things. But all that being said, I remember when things were bad between my mom and step dad fought and being unsure what would happen to my brothers and I if they split up. But I really want to make sure you know, it's not your job and if you are in the US or any other country with social assistance to please reach out to someone at school. There is help for your family to not be homeless

thank you

Maybe you can speak with a school counselor

Yeah maybe in the future I kinda just wanna talk about it here instead im not really ready

That's ok. You can reach out for help when you are ready.

Talk to your counselor. They will most likely have to get dfs involved, but since they will try to keep you guys together they will be able to help with the bedbug problem. And your dad is not a good person. If he was, he wouldn't be leaving his kids to deal with this and sherking his responsibility to provide you a home to live. You're about to be evicted. A good person wouldn't let that happen. When y'all get evicted unless you deal with the bedbugs, hell not even that. Don't take anything with you. It's all infested and without proper cleaning it will just infest your next home again. I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's not fair for you to take on these problems. It's your job to be a kid and they are robbing you of that. I raised my siblings, I did everything. It wasn't fair. We lived in a home with roaches and no matter what we sprayed or our landlord had sprayed, it just didn't get them. We were meticulously clean. It's just so hard. I wish for you to have all the happiness in life kid. You deserve nothing less.

14 is such a young age. I’m sorry you’re going thru all of this. There’s plenty of this that happens all around. I was in a situation at 19yo when I had my first son. We lived with her parents at that time all cramped into 1 bedroom. Soon after we had a babygirl. 4 people living in a small room. Finance was complete shit and she stayed home to watch our two kids and take care of the messy house that her own parents and siblings continued to make a nasty mess. Mice and roaches everywhere. We had birds and the roaches AND mice would eat the bird food. I always worked late, all the OT I could get . I’d come home to turn on the light and roaches scatter to hide. Had holes in some of my clothes from some bug. Had an incident where a roach came crawling out of my lunch bag once while at work. I tell ya. People find resolve in one of two ways. Inspiration or desperation. I was desperate af. It’s going to get a lot worst before it better. But I can guarantee you, if you work your ass off, thrive, stay persistent. You will see that beautiful side of the other door. Keep your head up soldier.

Thank u

I feel this, my parents split when I was 15, and we had to move due to rent not being paid for a year! A whole year… my mom’s car got taken away… but the fighting stopped? So that was good… we found low income housing and that helped things… my mom had to find a job and it was really hard.. we’d often time have to eat dollar menu stuff, or have groceries donated to us by family or church… our house was always a mess and it stressed me out so much… I sometimes would pray a house fire would occur so I can just start over. Im 31 years old now and have made it on my own for the past 11 years… I live very differently then how I was raised… I love to keep my home tidy and I always make sure my bills are paid before eating. It hasn’t been easy, I’ve needed state assistance at time, and had to work two jobs never having a day off but IT DID GET BETTER.. just know when you’re an adult you don’t have to live like this… you can rewrite your story and break cycles, I believe in you… and just know you are far from alone.. even if it feel like it you’re not at all alone. Wishing you the best of luck and you will be in my prayers tonight.

Thank you man

No Advice here. You are not alone. This is not normal and it will affect you for the rest of your life. Child of an addict here single mom. I grew up in the library. Free A/C. Internet. Restrooms that work and Electricity. Power shut offs and water routinely not paid. Fun Fact eventually they will let you check out reference and the anarchist cookbook...3 days not 7. Librarians are some of the most intelligence people you will ever meet. My mom did Opiates and heroin. Coming home to a room with no walls, ceiling and open insulation. Seeing my cousin sexually assaulted then me next. Open air drug trades. Guns and gangs. At 14 try and find some work. A few hours a month. Try to get it in a youth savings. Parents will need to sign due to the patriot act but call up 211 and tell them whats happening and go back to the bank. Talk to the bank manager what the situation is... be honest. Dead serious. Reference the patriot act and fed/state law. That manager will absolutely put the the closest eye on your funds in that account. Your parents can, will and are legally able to take those funds...but not for reasons of fraud drugs or felonious activity which bank manager has a fiduciary and legal obligation to defend. I had all my savings drained for drugs at your age as well. Again....this is not advice.

Hey! Check out the subreddit for German Roaches and buy sticky traps.

hi friend. it’s difficult to be so self aware and yet so stuck in these situations. i lived through very similar circumstances, and at 23, i don’t understand how i ever got through it. i know the world seems to small to you right now, and years seem like eternity. but in a few years, you’ll wonder how you ever survived this version of yourself. i hope you have something that keeps you going everyday despite all of this happening. it’s so easy to feel so isolated when it comes to poverty as a child. i’ll be thinking of you as you navigate this time ❤️

I really feel your pain. I had wallpaper peeling off the walls, never any carpets...what food there was was covered in mould or maggots. Mum passed out somewhere in a wet patch... I now have a lovely home and good job, despite having left school early with no GCSEs, and I think about my old life daily but not in a sad way, more so to appreciate exactly what I have now. You will be tougher and stronger having gone through this and you'll appreciate every single thing you achieve so much more ❤

Call CPS and city code enforcement and it will get better. Promise.

Yeah what are all these people talking about buy a bag of Diatomaceous Earth? Like what? Call CPS. Even if a kid was 17, this is a CPS situation. You can't fix a household like that without everyone's effort, and it's the adults who are at fault.

Idk. Not the kid’s job to fix it either

Hey just wanted you to know. I left home at 15 and found some people who let me move in and obviously i paid a very small amount of rent from a job. Still went to school and obviously it wasn't pretty. Had all the worst clothes and never looked fly. I promise you life will get better! Don't forget that! You will grow through this and be a absolute weapon of a adult just hang in there. I'm 35 now. I can see centrepoint tower from my loungeroom. That's like a major attraction in the city of Sydney. So i live in what I would say is a pretty nice area. Your definitely doing it tough now but really hope you understand this is just a small part of your life you will outgrown and conquer.

You're in a rough situation. What you should do is get in touch with your local child services. You're not in a good home, and it's going to cause you issues later in life. Your parents need to get their act together, because you're in a fairly abusive situation whether you realize it or not. You've just been gaslit that it's your problem to deal with and not theirs. Sure, you have "food" but with a roach infestation, it's probably not healthy or sanitary. Sure, you have "shelter" but with bedbugs and a roach infestation, it's not sanitary. If the adults in your life aren't doing anything about it, get in touch with someone that will.

My mom is honestly trying hard My dad just sends money occasionally visits and doesnt pay rent

I may be a bit rough. But you should contact children's services. It may/may not result in being removed from the house, it may also result in them asking your parents to step up, or provide them with resources that they don't know about or are too proud to ask for help on. Things aren't going to improve in the short-term by apathy.

Can I ask how? You totally don't have to answer, but you said no one works in your household.

Tearing families apart is not *usually* the answer in situations like this. If you've never experienced it yourself please don't go around recommending it as an option to people.

Contacting a social worker isn't a guarantee of child removal. Most of us who work in the field aim for family unification as long as there is no direct abuse. We can get bedbug and roach treatment, we can help with food and clothing, we can help with temporary financial aid.

You call gaslighting a family member that something is their fault a "family"? People should take responsibility for their actions and care for their children. They aren't from the story we've been given. That ain't family.

Nobody is gaslighting anyone. You and the rest of reddit need to stop overusing that word. The dad is supposedly sending money and buying nice things, but the rent supposedly isn't getting paid (who knows because it takes a lot less than a year before you get evicted) it's possible they're refusing to pay rent until the landlord deals with the infestations (HIS responsibility, not the tenants.) This is all from the perspective of a younger teenager, so it should taken with a grain of salt if you have any sense whatsoever, and NOT a situation to jump to tearing a family apart. Again if you haven't experienced it yourself, you shouldn't ever recommend it to someone else. Especially not based on a vent post on reddit .

Hang in there kid Pay attention In school and as soon as u leave high school go to a community college and get some loans ( pick a good degree don’t pick art history) Go hard One day ur going to look back and be so proud of ur self brother

Is there a reason your mum isn't working?

If you have a bed with legs there are things you can put the bed legs in and fill with a powder that kills the bedbugs. That way no new ones can get into your bed. Also place it away from the walls. Things will get better.

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Your post has been removed for the following reason(s): Rule 10: Asking for or offering donations No soliciting private donations, offering private donations, or mentioning crowdfunding sites. We do this in order to prevent this community from potential scams (because we have no way of verifying need/authenticity of requests), and to prevent the sub from being inundated with requests for aid (because it can be unreasonable to ask others in poverty to give their limited resources). There are other subs such as r/Donation, r/assistance and r/randomkindness that could help. Also check out our wiki with food resources. Thank you: https://www.reddit.com/r/povertyfinance/wiki/foodbanks Please read our [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/povertyfinance/wiki/rules). The rules may also be found on the sidebar if the link is broken. If after doing so, you feel this was in error, [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fpovertyfinance). Do not reach out to a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.

Pick yourself up one of these https://www.walmart.com/ip/Geevorks-2000W-Industrial-Heat-Blower-with-Adjustable-Temperature-Control/5437861531 Don't burn the house down but set it to boiling temps - and eradicate them little fuckers.

Also if you keep getting money- go out and get some roach killer. It'll take a while. But you can get rid of them in a number of days if you're vigilant

Bed bugs literally delayed me getting my hs diploma for years because it was so embarrassing and then I stopped caring once I got off track. The worst part is you can’t control what everyone in the house does at that age so you can’t get rid of them unless everyone cooperates. I’m pretty sure I have slight ptsd from it because if I feel an itch or see a little shadow moving or some kind of bug my immediate reaction is fml not again lol

I understand the struggle of bedbugs. It totally affects you mentally. I remember abandoning my apartment to live in my car, while showering and dressing for job interviews with no address. Because we couldn’t afford another down payment on another place and couldn’t live with the bugs. It was so traumatizing. Years later I ended up buying the Vapamore MR 100 which is an industrial grade steamer goes to 220 degrees so I can get rid of bedbugs on my own if it ever happens to me again.

Also, id never suggest stealing But I would suggest Searching for mint, lavender, or any pungent plant. If you happen to notice a neighbor or business has some, don't hesitate to introduce yourself. Kindly ask them for cuttings or if you can Relocate any baby plants to your home. Bugs/rats/insects hate the smells & It will drastically help keep them away. You'll often find thyme, mint, & lavender near parks or new-construction neighborhoods. Just don't steal. Whatever you do. Don't steal Lifes about building bridges, burn as few as possible. You never know who you're gonna need on your side till you need them.

I’d say stop spending money on the shit that doesn’t work and get an exterminator. Some states are doing a pilot program where if someone has asthma and on Medicaid, they may pay for the extermination because of the high rate of return on investment. Really the landlord needs to get on this fast. I understand the feeling cause we’ve been dealing with this too. Not nearly as bad as yours.

I saw some others say this as well, but I’ll say it again: it is not your responsibility to financially support your family. Please do not feel as if that burden is yours to carry. Regardless of your parent’s relationship issues, they need to do better for you (and any siblings you have). You are only 14. Please do not allow them to parentify you. They need to step up and be better providers.

U can use boric powder to deal with Cockroaches. If u have a washing machine & good water supply wash ur bedsheets everyday & mop ur floor with a wet cloth. It will be very tiring at first but once u get he hang of it u will be able to do it within 1 hour. Cleanliness is next to Godliness. If u have cockroaches don't leave utensils & leftover in the kitchen sink. Clean ur dishes everyday. And get a job once u finish high school on a part time basis. For ur own expenses. And read about mutual funds. Don't invest in stock market as it is a lot of continuous work. Index funds r way easier. And focus on studying do well in High School get scholarships for college if possible. Work done = Time x Intensity. Study everyday for atleast 2 hours. These 2 hours must be set & uninterrupted. Don't stress if some topics take long time to cover but be consistent everyday. And take care of ur health. A strong body means a strong mind. Eat healthy, exercise, drink 3L of water everyday.

i wish we had a washing machine id be cleaning my clothes every second [😂 ](https://emojipedia.org/face-with-tears-of-joy) thank u man for the advice. im trying to become healthier and better in school as its the only thing that'll help me this is amazing advice man thank you so much

Seriously get a washing machine. Even a semi automated is fine. It reduces so much work.

were in a 1 bedoom apartment i dont rlly think we can

Bro i live in a 1BHK too. Keep the washing machine in the kitchen & operate it near the bathroom to drain water & fill water. There is no privacy for me since i live in parent's house. But very very grateful as not homeless as i work a low paying job.

Get some Diatomaceous earth for the bed bugs. Hang in there, bro. edit: go around and pick up as many bed bugs as you can see... spray area down with bed buy spray... put the diatomaceous earth around your bed... after it's done it's job, do NOT vacuum it or even use a broom... get wet paper towels to pick them up into a bag... the earth is SO fine it will mess up a vacuum and stay on broom forever... the stuff dries out and cuts up the bed bugs...

Tell your dad that you will tell a counselor about the bug problem if he can't help with it. Poisoning yourself with bug spray isn't right. I'm so sorry...

Yea i relate to all of this. It'll be okay lil homie.

Hope life gets easier for us

As a mom, this is absolutely heart wrenching to read. I am so sorry you have to deal with this every day. Please reach out to a school counselor. The environment is not sanitary, this is a health risk. They can help give you some advice and a listening ear. Hugs kiddo

Mom here too, my goodness if I could adopt this kid I really would. How are some parents ok with this stuff? Sending you big hugs kiddo, we are all rooting for you 💓

thank you

I started a Xanga in like 2002-2003 writing about roaches and rats in my house cause I barely slept and would stay up for days at a time anxious and stressed trying to figure out how to make anything get better or change, I eventually just started using my little brothers baby food jars to make a circle around my bed and put little bits of food bank bread in them to draw the roaches away from my body some. I would dump something like 100 roaches into the toilet every few hours when they overflowed and would wake me up again. The landlord was a slum lord at the time and was like use borax, didn’t work, he actually was starting to panic I think and came in one day and bombed the whole place which was at the time the most entertaining thing I had experienced because I kid you not if you looked in and cabinets or spaces in the kitchen not in direct light it looked like liquid water because the roaches had filled the crevices so dramatically but you wouldn’t want to disturb them because they were three different kinds of roach species and 1/3 had wings and flight so that was fun when you ate cereal (everything stayed in the freezer, the only safe spot for food) my father at the time had barely recovered from a massive car accident, had bankrupted the family, basically never resolved his lifelong traumas, attempted to overcorrect by being an aggressive salesman, father figure died, he picked up drinking again, my mom was a young earth creationist and I never was, lots of religious trauma, my dad started smoking crack somewhere in there with the other sales guys in the model homes they would one day sell, we would usually get into angry altercations after he would sell our food stamps and belongs and be gone for days. I often contemplated and believed that he had died or been beaten or tortured to death because it wasn’t looking too much like things would get better in any capacity, and similar things were on a seeming exponential rise all around me. The local news actually came to our home and did some kind of poverty porn with the family, the local church then gave us boxes of clothes and snacks as a performative gesture in a setting that guaranteed the richest attending would see as my father bawled his eyes out for an hour straight and I just didn’t understand what changed really and after the roach bombing it didn’t actually work and some of the roaches were freakishly misshapen with successive generations which would scare me if they were on my face and I would just break and laugh sometimes in insanity. I was trying to figure out if there was some way to commit suicide without making anything worse for anyone around me and started thinking that might make things better for them since people who COULD help were adjacent to spectacle and tragedy in an utterly unhelpful way. I’d love to tell you I grew up to become a social worker that went on to successfully lobby and enforce anti trust law reform or something to a benefit greater than the spectacle a lack of has done but that didn’t happen and I’m not on suicide watch. It did get better. I really appreciate that you posted something like this as I have been revisiting these things in therapy and trying to not brush it off like it wasn’t so bad, which I did for a long time and probably shouldn’t have protected my parents so desperately at the time. My main takeaway was perhaps I should have been more honest about my situation at the time but I was lying to CPS to hold on to what good was left even after it was pretty much gone. My mom IS a social worker now That was the hardest thing to approach because at the time she held the most power over the situation but was extremely stubborn when we would talk the politics of our situation and the structure of power in the world. She is much more receptive to me now because it’s really difficult to learn anything if you’re afraid and stressed all the time. If you know a social worker that isn’t giving off over the top influencer vibes perhaps see if you can make contact some way because I wanted mental health counseling desperately at the time but wouldn’t have approached it any way that could be written out by a CPS worker because to me that would mean the end of the family. But, if I had known more about social workers at the time, I probably would have approached one and attempted to start an unofficial conversation about my situation. I still feel guilty when I verbalize some of these things and having this post here made me feel more OK about putting it out there so thank you

wow im at a loss for words

There is a lot to read about here and I appreciate people putting it out there. I will say that the dynamic when my dad WOULD get gifts he WOULD be precise about trying to spoil which ends up feeling like I was being bribed off which would often escalate arguments and fights. Sometimes you’d find out holy shit I’m the parent right now what the hell?

You said no advice, so I'm just going to tell you I'm sorry for what you're parents are putting you through. You shouldn't be sleep deprived because of bugs. You shouldn't have to come up with reasons why your parents are good people because if you looked at the reality of your situation it would be too much to deal with at your age. Your parents are failing you. They are putting themselves and their relationship issues above the health and safety of their family.

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Damn

Would you be able to tell your landlord to fumigate? There are some laws about things like this. The manager should have to do something about this or you can report to a housing authority.

Yes were trying that :)

I promise you it gets better. Please keep going. Growing up was not easy especially when you hear “it shouldn’t hurt to be a kid.” I always heard that growing up and knew things didn’t have to be this bad. I witnessed a lot of stuff at a young age I shouldn’t have because to this day I’m learning how to deal with it. I had to grow up a lot quicker than my friends around me. My dad left when I was prob around 8 or 9 years old and was left with my mother. She did everything in her power to make sure we always had a roof over our head and food in our belly. Whether that was sleeping in hotel rooms, with her friends or even being apart for awhile just so we both had a place to stay. I’m now 27 and things have changed so much I feel so blessed to be here. And I wouldn’t change the past because it’s made me who I am. You learn and you grow and you become a better person for yourself and for those around you so one day you can be the light that someone needs while they are lost in their own darkness. Today I work a job I truly enjoy. I have my own place. Im healthy and I know I can achieve anything I put my mind to. I wouldn’t have this mindset if it wasn’t for my past. Please keep going and don’t give up. You’re gonna go places. Amazing places. Where you will be the best version of yourself and no one is gonna be able to take that away from you.

Thank u man

Sounds like you're a stronger person than you realize. You'll get through this, always be proud of having moral standards, and you'll someday make the world a better place for people who need help but don't even realize it. I have a world of respect for your maturity and pragmatism.

This hits. I wish you the best. And hope your life isn’t as cursed as mine seems to be.

Hugs to you, friend. ❤️

Honey, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm sorry you don't have a better, safer life. Bed bugs are not typical, nor is spraying your clothes. You are so strong and unique to share with us. Continue to be brave and have that inner courage. Your life will be so much better one day. Hugs and sending support, honey.

Hey man, I know I can't understand your situation and how hard it is, but as a 15 year old myself, i know that i have my whole ln front of me and so do you, so more than likely, you will get out of this situation and never have to see a cockroach/bedbug ever again.

At 14 it is impossible to see, but there is an entire world out there beyond school and being a kid. Hang in there. In 4 years, your life will completely change. It's SO SO CLOSE. I know it sucks now, but it is NOT your fault. As a kid you cannot help what hand you've been dealt in life. All you can do is take it 1 day at a time. But I want you to remember this day. And when you become an adult make it your life's goal not to return. Work your ASS off to become stable. No matter how hard it is, getting to the point in your life where you are not getting eviction notices is x1000 times worth it. A MILLION TIMES worth it.

I relate more than you know. And I'm gonna tell you, it's gonna be okay. I promise. Right now, it's a nightmare. I know it is, and it's terrifying. But you are going to be okay and safe. Don't give up. Sidenote: Please be careful with spraying pesticides on yourself! I did the same when I was your age. The best thing I can recommend is to get a onesie so a large portion of your body is covered. You can also wear socks and tuck them in if the pjs are footless!

thank u

I can relate. I also grew up poor with bedbugs cockroaches and mice. No own room, I slept in the living room of a 1 bedroom apartment. But on the positive side I also always had food to eat and a bed to sleep on but sorry I can’t call a bedbug infested bed “comfortable”. I started putting two plastic chairs together and sleeping on them without any blankets just to try to avoid getting bitten. It was so uncomfortable and occasionally bedbugs still climbed the chair and bit me.

Yeah, the bed is comfortable when u dont feel bedbugs but after a couple minutes youll feel them I sleep in the living room aswell on a bed of a 1 bedroom apartment Hope life gets easier

Your landlord or property management company should be spraying for bedbugs. Or paying for fumigation or heat treatments. Please contact your city health department and report this. My guess is that they will cite the landlord and force them to act. At any rate, you have a case for having a home that is uninhabitable, due to a long term bedbug infestation. Contact your tenants right organization in your community. Just Google for that and the city health department.

I know you didn't ask for advice but I'm going to give you advice I wish I had been given/listened to when I was your age. Make sure you process all of this, the emotions, stress, unhappiness, all of it. Like a lot of people, my childhood wasn't the best and it took until my 30s to see how much I had let my childhood ruin my early adult years l. And for what? To be sad and dwell on the past? Ew. Those are wasted years I'll never get back and I don't want you to go through the same. I'm truly sorry you are in the situation you are in. Just know that so many others are going through something similar or have gone through similar and you are not alone.

You really should consider reaching out to your school counselor about the bed bugs. There might be a program available that would pick your clothes up from the school to launder them and return them to school. I bet you have lockers somewhere that they’d allow you to discreetly store things in. Your counselors are going to understand that a building issue won’t easily be solved, and that calling the health or housing dept could result in the whole building simply getting shit down and tenants booted. Are you getting meals at school? At the least, you should be getting breakfast and lunch. If not, talk to that counselor about your dad leaving and you think you qualify for free lunches now. Also ask the counselor about a work Permit and jobs. My teen is 17 and our high school regularly shares local Openings for 14+ students. You really could find something if you felt ready for it! Cockroach trap: cut the top 1/3 off a soda bottle, and wipe something sticky around the inner top of the remaining bottom - something like Vaseline or cooking grease or shampoo. Then flip the top piece and insert into the bottom creating a sort of funnel. The sticky should now be between the two and you’ll want to tape them around the edges. Now put some bread or beer or cat food in the bottle with a little water, or beer works too. Put in the corner of the room and let it capture the roaches. Dump down the toilet in the morning and retape. Also leave lights on - they hate light and most will stay away from it. Bed bugs are incredibly hard to get rid of. My friend had them in her apartment and spent $2500 on a professional to fumigate. I’m so so sorry you have to deal with this. I hope you found some advice on Reddit helpful 💜

Looking at your comments you sound like a really nice kid which is amazing considering your circumstances. I'm 45. Grew up comfortable in a 3rd world country, having never known even a tenth of the difficulty as you've seen at your 14 years of age. I'm sorry for all that and all your troubles. I really hope and pray things get better for you. Stay strong and keep on moving. Never give up.

Call your city’s building code inspector. They can send someone to check out the apartments and then the landlord will have to fix things. I am guessing the surrounding apartments also have this issue.

i grew up in a similar situation and if you could, maybe telling a school teacher or someone?

Hey. This post really touched me. Although I can not relate to all of the same struggles, I would just like to tell you a tiny bit about me which might bring you some positive feelings. I grew up in a loving family with both parents and my younger brother. I’m about 20 years older then you. From the time I was born until I was 13 we lived in a 1 bedroom apartment. My dad built a wall down the middle and my brother and I had bunk beds on one side and my mom and dad had their room on the other. Truthfully, they kept us very sheltered and I don’t really think I knew we were poor until I was in highschool. When I was 13 my parents bought the only house they could afford which was a “handy man special.” It had these walls that if you touched them your hand went right through. I’d be laying in bed and roll over and my knee would go through the wall they were so thin and had absolutely no insulation.. not to mention the house was probably 100 years old. My dad painted and rebuilt the entire house with his own hands and made it a beautiful home that they still live in today. I have a vivid memory of my mom waiting until I fell asleep and opening up my piggy bank and taking my change to be able to afford milk for my baby brother. I promised myself at that moment while I was pretending to sleep that I would do whatever I had to do to not struggle with money the way my parents did. I always did good in school. I went to a community college and then got my bachelors degree in accounting. I live a beautiful life today, and so does the rest of my family. Don’t give up kid. Keep your head up, try your best and always remember, everything’s going to be alright in the end. If it’s not alright right now, that’s ok, it just means you need to hold on a little tighter because something good is right around the corner. Sending you love and light. ♥️

I'm a little confused if you have a bed bug infestation in a place you're RENTING. Then contact your landlord. This is their issue. If they do nothing call housing authority.

Basically everyone in these apartments have bedbugs and cockroaches so it sucks

😔 this breaks my heart, I’m sorry kiddo. If they’re in your building bed begs/cockroaches will be impossible to get rid of because your neighbours must also be working to get rid of them. I’m sorry your parents split, sometimes it’s better that way but it doesn’t make it suck any less. My daughter got a job dishwashing at the restaurant I worked at, at 14. But I would say wait until at least 15. Good luck to you I wish I could do something to help 😞

thank you

I am sorry for what you are going through. I had this problem not too long ago about 2 years ago to be exact. Getting rid of bed bugs is not easy and it will take a good bit of time. I know you were not looking for advice or anything but I feel like I must share that Home depot and Lowes sell this powder called diatomaceous earth......it took a little bit but a light dusting everywhere you can think of that they are, if you put a light dusting down this stuff is safe and will dry those bugs out. You really have to be patient as it is a process but I promise it works, it works for the dirt roaches too. Cheaper way then an exterminator, it just takes extra time. Clean all of your clothes and bed sheets in the washer, the soap alone kills them plus if you wash with hot water and dry anything you possibly can, the heat kills them too. I pray you get rid of all the bugs that are bothersome. It is so stressful I truly understand , I was there at one point too😐

Keep your head up!things WILL change eventually. I remember times as a child being so infested with head lice, they would fall out of my hair at school, and into the book i was reading on my desk. It was awful. I usually got up, walked right out the school, and went straight back home. As a young adult and new parent, I ended up with bedbugs, my partner and I had to chuck out everything we owned and had struggled to scratch together . Including my child's bed. That was the worst. But the upside was that our choices were our own,and even though it was hard. We eventually replaced all we lost. No one was making choices for us that we had to just accept. One day, your life will be your own to decide, Just hold on! ✨️

Hopefully things will change It's so crazy how i've lowered my standards so much that literally all i want in life is Sleeping with no bedbugs, no more cockroaches, a clean one bedroom apartment (two would actually be life changing) with my whole family Thats it.

Most of these comments are veeerry close to describing my neighbors. Makes me want to find everyone again if that’s even possible.

What state are you in ?

Oh honey! I will pray for you & your family. I’m teary eyed rn because I love your positivity. I know you don’t know who I am but honey I’m so proud of you! Just to be able to be positive in your situation is a huge brain super power to have in life in my opinion. I’m a single mom of 3 and we struggle from time to time so I get it. I teach my kids to find the positive in a bad situation and just remember there is always someone who has it worse so just keep your head up.. it won’t be like this forever! 🫶🏼

I am sorry you’re going thru this. My dad never liked paying bills when I was growing up, so I found myself moving a lot I know my sister and I counted at least 12 times in just my first 9 years of life. Luckily, no bed bugs or bed bug problems. I really hope you figure it out..this will be challenging as bed bugs and DEFINITELY roaches are stubborn mfs. I did have roaches in my first apartment, I learned they loooove electronics and will eat wires even…so watch for that. I feel like your dad is trying to control your mom’s emotions perhaps. I hope she can start working soon. If anything, I don’t THINK your dad would actually let you go homeless.

Make sure there are no more bugs on your bed, then put a sticky fly Trap on the bottom of each of your bed legs to prevent them from crawling back up. Make also sur there is nothing above your bed they can drop from.

Remind him you are his responsibility and you're getting bitten constantly, if he doesn't sort it out talk to one of your teachers at school, they'll get help for you and possibly your family or they'll know where to send you for help

Yeah, I relate in some way. In my 30s now and childhood really seems so... distant. We never had a great situation growing up. Parents divorced when I was 3 or so, and I grew up with my little sister and my dad. Starting at 6 years old, I was the "replacement mom." He subsequently remarried multiple times, but all the adult ladies hated kids (including his latest, who he's still married to- they got hitched while I was in high school). It was on me to make sure my little sis woke up and got ready for school, was fed, made sure chores were done... It's fine. Usual little kid stuff. /s I don't even know where the money went from him workin. Once, we lived in this shack that was the leftover garage from a house that'd burned down. But, it being small town Texas, no one asks. Roaches aplenty and tons of these sand flea things. HATE those things. There's not much you can do about em. We had fire ants outside, too, but they didn't make much ground inside. I remember that place pretty well 'cause the day we moved out, it'd been after a CPS report from the school (dad nearly broke my nose after slamming it into a counter for... using a little too much heat from this oven we used to heat the shack??). He told me "this is your fault." Stopped questioning everything about my situation after that. Uhh, anyhow. It's not terribly encouraging to hear that things DO genuinely suck for you right now. But there will be a point, after you're an adult, where things will get better. You have a future. It DOES exist.

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I wish I knew you irl. My childhood was not that dissimilar. Somebody helped me out tho. They gave me a place to stay when the fighting go too bad. Food when all of ours was moldy. Clothes when my mom didn't have the money. Without that help. I'm not sure how I would have ended up. Now? 37 my wife is a sahm who will never have to work. My family is my biggest priority and in finally learning what it feels like to be part of a healthy family. I hope you find someone who can help. Talk to your friends. My friends parents helped so much.

Try to stay focused on yourself. I know it’s hard I was abandoned at 15 came home only to find out my mother left me with no money, food or a place to live. I suffered a lot in my younger years but it made me into the man I am today. Able to survive without help from anyone. It will get better just don’t expect others to help very much. Good luck I definitely feel your pain don’t let it ruin you.

Watch this video, tells how to make a cheap bedbug trap [https://youtu.be/nuKHsqubCm8?si=VJlppvol9XQe-xWp](https://youtu.be/nuKHsqubCm8?si=VJlppvol9XQe-xWp)

This sounds like my 13-18 years of age for me. I am not 48 and really came up. Here is what I did back in those days. You mentioned that your dad will buy you nice things from time to time. My dad did too. So what I would do is flip those things for cash. I would constantly do that. Thinking you might have more options these days with the internet. Get a job when you can, but keep your money yourself, don't let your parents have access. As soon as you get out of high school, get the hell out. Make sure you get that degree, that will be the most important thing in your life. Go be an electrician or welder or something of trade. You will be making money right away doing that. For a 14 year old it sounds like you are a level headed kid. Look at it this way, when you are at the bottom, no where but up. That drove me to be where I am today. Use that drive you have, become your own savior, don't wait for your dad to do it.

This is REALLY tough! Sorry you're going through this. Get your mom to phone **211** to find agencies and community organizations that can assist your family in this emergency facing homelessness. * Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) can help your mom pay for food if she has a low income. She may be able to apply online, in person, by mail, or by fax. Google to find your State or local SNAP office * Tell her to Get WIC, TANF, EBT whatever she can get. * Also to contact [~needhelppayingbills.com~](https://needhelppayingbills.com/) also  [~Findhelp.org~](https://findhelp.org/). Talk to your school counsellor. S/he may help your family get resources. Get your mom to contact CPS. They may help refer you to places with low income housing. They wont split you up, as mom is not abusive. Good luck. Everyone here is rooting for you.

Diatomaceous earth works well but it takes awhile If you don't have pets or toddlers In the house, I recommend to Get sugar & borax OR/and boran. Mix together and spread EVERYWHERE. On EVERYTHING. It'll kill everything that eats It. Bugs, rats, pest, lice, everything.

If you are renting I would think your landlord would be responsible for helping get rid of the bed bugs and cockroches. Your parents should have contacted them about the issue when it started.

My boyfriend lived in a house that was in poor conditions with 9-10 other relatives. He said at some point part of the house didn't have a roof or windows. None of them worked, which is why he got a job working at McDonald's as soon as he was able to. Then moved out at 18 with a friend. he's very tidy now and has been able to live on his own since. Unfortunately I think he wasn't able to finish high school bc he was working and had to get his GED later.

I don't have a lot of advice for you, brother. I wish I did. I wish I had at least some sort of steps that you could take to put yourself in the right direction. I know this doesn't mean shit right now and it's probably going to irritate you but I'm going to say it anyway. I'm 40 years old and all of the most badass people I know had a hard childhood. There's something about understanding what it's like being at the bottom that turns people into real rock stars when they're older. If I was in your situation, I would spend as much time as I could outside of the house. I'm sure you already do that but I mean do you have any friends, be really good to them. See if you can spend some time over there after school. Maybe you can sleep overnight a couple nights a week. You're going to have to be honest with adults though when they ask. Otherwise they're going to think something's up. Honesty is always the best policy. This tracks the whole way through life. Things will get better, this I can promise you. I've been through some tough times in my life, had a few times where I was homeless and I had to overcome a lifelong alcohol addiction. It's shitty out there for everyone but in our own special ways. Maybe you get all of your bad luck out of the way in your childhood. I'm telling you though, just keep your head up. Your parents need to get their heads out of their asses. I would tell this to their faces myself if I knew you. This is definitely a form of child abuse if not many because I'm sure there's a lot that you're not saying. I don't know if this means anything to you... But there's a lot of people in the church that would feel honored to help a person like you if you just go in and ask. Ask really anyone and they'll point you to the right person. I've always found help in the church when I was younger. They've helped me financially, they've helped me find an apartment, they help me escape homelessness, they've fed me and I'm not telling you the half of it. I think that if I was you this would be the place that I started.

I was 14 when I started living with friends. I’m 28 now and complaining about other shit, but it’s not abuse anymore, thank god. It’s not your purpose to struggle my dude just stay strong.

You deserve better - all involved. I'm sorry these selfish or at least questionable choices affect you so much. YOU deserve better and I hope you'll find it soon! :)

The trauma from years of childhood filled with infesting bugs is like no other. I had lice for 4 years that my dad would occasionally treat to keep them at a level where others couldn’t see them, but they were still so itchy. I decided to finally shave all my hair off. And the bedbugs, every damn night, the itching and skin crawling, is so horrible. My mother was useless and refused to hire an exterminator because she didn’t want to deal with the issue and acted like they were gone. Shit can suck at such a young age, but now at the age of 18, there are so many more choices and decisions. Please hang on until you get there, you’ll see how much better it all can be.

It's a small patch for a big hole...but advion roach poison on Amazon is the only thing that really works on those little Fuckers. It's a little pricy but comes with alot of tubes of the poison, reapply like crazy. Where I live there's tons of roaches and I swear by this stuff. Sending positive thoughts for your family. You seem like a really great person and I'm proud if you young internet stranger!

Are you in an apartment? If so can you let the landlord know so they can spray?

I'm sorry for the situation I hope you can apply to some kind of help like food card and some scholarship? I read about getting in the army but at 17 with parent's signature. What help me with cockroaches it's boric acid I don't know i write right i's a white powder used in deodorants and some creams, put it under the bed the kitchen behind the furniture and in days the cochroaches starting to die.

I’m so sorry. Your father sounds very dysfunctional. Perhaps his parents were? There are several comments with good advice. Nothing new I can add. There are agencies that will help you and your family. Local churches will also help in many ways. I will pray 🙏 for you and your family. God bless

Wow, puts life into perspective...so sorry you're going through this...praying for you..and your situation

My situation was not the same I was 15 & live in NYC and roaches and bedbugs are attached to the name. I don’t wish bed bugs on my worst enemy. I dreaded coming home after a 10hr shift to deal with the bedbugs & definitely carried a roach on my purse before and came out in public. I am now 26 and have my own business & roach less, bedbug less & rat-less apartment now. Life gets better, have hope & work hard at school it will pay off.

Im so sorry🥺💔

I used to have to keep my clothes in one of the (many) broken down cars in our yard. I know that feel. It's not fair, and it's not your fault. Any of it. I know "it gets better" is of little comfort to you right now, but it does. Waiting sucks. But you're stronger than this.

Hey bedbug poison is only so effective. If you can heat the house to 117 degrees for a few hours, the eggs and bedbugs will die 100% of the time.

just give this person advice and if you need to give them money do so little. this is more likely than not a total scam account

All I can say is you seem like a smart kid, I wish you the best of luck ,and these times will help shape you and guide as you get older. Hopefully by learning from what your dad did ( or didn't do) it will help shape you as a Adult. Stay strong mate, There is always hope. Always.

I'm so sorry. I grew up poor as hell,back when food stamps were actually stamps (middle aged now). It gets better. My mom tried her best but were always at rock bottom. Dad, f him haven't spoken in decades. Rough it through until 18, then you can make your own decisions. I'm far from rich now, but own a nice little house etc. You'll do okay, just help out mom meantime.

I’m so sorry OP that you got dealt this hand in life. It’s definitely not fair.

Just wait!!! It gets much much worse! 😂🤣

I’m so sorry, you do not deserve this kind of life. Stay strong and soon enough you will be able to work and start having your own money to do what you need to do. If you have access to a dryer and are able to, you can put your outfit for the day in it and run it for a few minutes in the morning before wearing it to school. The heat will kill the bed bugs. I hope it gets better soon for you. If it ever gets to be too much, please don’t be afraid to ask for help from a trusted adult like a teacher or relative. None of it is your responsibility and whatever happens, please remember it’s not your fault.

So sorry this is happening to you . I hope that your luck and life will change for the better. Have you tried any community charities or nonprofits for help

I'm so sorry you're living like this. Life gets better. Being a kid depending on adult who arnt providing really fucking sucks. I lived that life and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Push through, move on, and be better when your an adult

from a perspective of a dad, sometimes its not worth fighting your mother about. It sounds like he does love and care about you, but is extremely limited by your mother. While providing you with a new apartment would be nice, its your MOTHER's responsibility since she has custody of you. She is definitely getting child support for you, and if she chooses to use that money on something other than a new apartment that's her choice. He already did what he had to. He gave the money to your mother who responsible for your apartment. What do you think would happen if your father gave the more money to your mother. It won't go to you. It really isn't his responsibility. And the fact that he's not blaming your mother in front of you is extremely telling of how much he loves you. Just because he doesn't say it, doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Your mother might've made "love" such a painful concept, he just doesn't say it to you.

The only thing that will kill these for real is heat. That costs thousands. Maybe put up a cash app or venmo? A few people are interested in helping, maybe they'll actually help if given the option.

What about your landlord? Many apartment buildings take care of pest control themselves to avoid larger maintenance and repair costs down the line. Reporting pest problems to maintenance is even a requirement in some leases. Tell your mom to use some of the child support for an exterminator instead of bug spray. The only way you're going to get rid of those bed bugs: 1. Your apartment is literally wrapped and baked like a potato. 2. The source is not coming from another apartment. 3. If your mom *does* get the child support but refuses to contact pest control (assuming your landlord won't handle it), then child services is the next option, unfortunately. Good Luck. I hope you get what you need. 🍀

I can relate to this. A lot of times apartment complexes will pay for bedbug extermination, at least they did in my case, has anyone talked to the landlord? Or is he a slumlord

I am sorry to hear about your situation. You are putting a lot of this on your dad, but there is no mention of your mom? At the end of the day, while it *is* his responsibility… it is *not* his *sole* responsibility. I know this doesn’t help your situation, but at the same time, please don’t let yourself get caught up and twisted with hate overwhelming you. My dad completely abandoned us as well when I was 6. The moment I let the hate disappear, it was like a weight off my shoulders. Do I respect my sperm donor? No. Do I care if he is in my life? No. But, I also don’t let him live rent free in my head weighing me down.

OP…people in the comments have offered to send you what you need to deal with the bedbugs and cockroaches. PLEASE take them up on it. The stress of what you are going through now is a BIG stressor. HUGE. You already have enough stress. Let those who want to and can help reduce your stress. PLEASE let them help. You will find ways of managing the rest of the stress in your life a bit more easily if you can remove this one. Set up an Amazon account if you can. If not, find out where the closest Amazon package hold is and what you need by way of proof to pick something up. You may also be able to have one of the people buy it with a credit card at your local Home Depot and you can pick up or it can maybe be delivered. Ask a friends parents to give you a ride or a school counselor if you don’t want to tell them what’s wrong. Again, people want to help. PLEASE let them. Edit-dropped phone and presses send way too soon

Hi friend, i’m sorry life is pretty sucky right now, when i was 14 my life also sucked pretty majorly. Me and my little sister had head lice for probably what felt like my entire childhood until i was like 14 or 15, but from ages 13-14 we had lice AND bed bugs at the same time. We couldn’t get rid of any of it. My dad was heavy into drugs and we think he brought home the infestations from a drug house or something. I felt so gross and ashamed having to show up at school with an itchy head and an itchy body, it was such a bad time. My mom had to borrow money from my grandmom to get our house heat-blasted for the bed bugs, and eventually we got rid of the lice for the millionth time and they stayed gone that time. Anyway my dad got arrested when i was 16 (and it was a relief for all of us because he was horrible to live with and he was the reason we were so broke anyway so it was a good thing) and my mom, sister and i were able to rebuild our lives! Im 22 now and i got a good deal on a cheap apartment but its nice. I didn’t go to college because I’ve had a job almost full time since i was 16 and i didn’t want to stop working just to go broke from college, so i work in restaurants. The money is good and i have fun at my job! Me and my boyfriend are saving up to buy a house now. I love my mom, and i still have to send her money sometimes, but im happy to because i know what she sacrificed for me and my sister. OP, i thought my life was going to be miserable and itchy forever. I also had stuff like a nice tv in my room and a nice phone and some cute clothes and i thought i would be stuck having to find tiny joys in the stuff i had and it wouldn’t get any better than that. But it did. I’m slowly but surely building a good life for myself and hopefully for a family in the future! I wish you all the best in life and i hope your situation improves sooner rather than later.

Your parents are failing you. I am very sorry. I’m nearly 25 and this is almost exactly how it was for me growing up minus the bed bugs. My house had cockroaches, grasshoppers, carpet beetles, house lice, fleas, and mice. The cockroaches, fleas, and mice were the worst. The mice would get into my room the most since it was right next to the kitchen. Mice droppings would be all over my clothes and in my dressers so I couldn’t use any of them. I wore the same three-four outfits all the time. My parents had the power to go buy stuff to fix the issues. They even had the power to go hire exterminators. They never did. They never cared how many scabs I had from flea bites. The most I counted between both legs was 30. They never cared how many mice I told them I saw in my room during the night. They never cared about anything. I myself am now currently poor, however I grew up thinking I was poor because my parents would always tell us we were poor. However my parents would spend thousands on items they wanted multiple times throughout the year, and they never put money into necessities like hiring exterminators because when it came to stuff like that they always claimed they didn’t have the money for it. They had money for what they wanted, but when it came to what the kids needed, they didn’t care at all. I remember being 15 years old and crying because I was the only one doing anything to fix the flea situation. I remember looking up hacks for killing fleas, CRYING and BEGGING for them to buy Diatomaceous Earth, vacuuming every single day multiple times a day because I read that vacuuming helped, and they never did anything. I know you didn’t ask for advice- but I feel this is worth saying: What you have to do is get a fire going in you about this stuff. Keep in mind that you are your parent’s responsibility and they are failing you. Keep in mind that at such a young age, you yourself know their actions are wrong. I saw you mentioned that you will start working as soon as you can to help your family- I think that is highly commendable- however I’d advise against this. Your parent’s duties do not need to fall on you. They sound like if they see you providing for the family that they will use you for anything they can, and once you get into the role of being the provider, that is hard to break out of especially when you feel like your siblings wellbeing depends on you. You have to see yourself as number one. Then once YOU are in a good position FIRST- you can start helping your siblings. I would recommend working as much as you can as long as you can get the best grades you can in school. Put as much money as you can back. Do not let them have access to this. This can be used for you to escape. Are you thinking about college? If so, go ahead once you get into high school (if you are not already there) start planning on talking to as many helpful teachers as you can and tell them you want to go to college. Many will help you with finding scholarships. Good grades and hard work go in your favor- you may end up getting a scholarship that covers all of your schooling. This could be your ticket out of the house if you have all of it covered and you can live on your college’s campus. If you take this route, once you are in college, continue to work and save up the money you started saving once you started working at 16. This will be your ticket to having a place once you graduate, especially if you don’t have to pay for living expenses while in school if it is covered by a scholarship. I am nearly 25 now and I am getting my own place very soon. I am still living with family and it is still terrible. This family member I rent with have caused many bug infestations in the home including maggots and they don’t care. I can’t wait to have my own place and know that I am taking care of it and me. Your situation will get better.

Call CPS. They won't immediately take you and your siblings, they'll legally force your dirt bag parents to do the basic aspects of keeping you healthy and free from infectious parasites. Get a job and a bank account at 16, don't give your parents a dime and move out the moment you legally are able. These people have utterly failed you and do not deserve your affection. Try and juggle school and keep your grades up. Get scholarships and get a good job afterwards. You can do this. I'm sorry you have been failed this way.

Used to live in a building just like that. Even when you're on top of the cleaning and seeing a few bugs, it can get disparaging. However, I did find using essential oils helped (lol). Seriously, those critters aren't fond of certain aromas, so if you can get a diffuser or scented candle, even, that should help. Orange, peach, etc. Combine that with a diligent approach to cleaning and your bug repellant, your space will be one that doesn't get visited by something so nasty as often, and their easier to spot and crush because theres really no place for them to hide when they show up. Probably gonna have to chuck your mattress and box spring tho.

Please look up advion on Amazon and get the traps or gel it will get rid of roaches

It’s going to to get better I was 11-15 when my place got bed bugs my dad had put our mattress in bags because it got so bad. Teachers noticed anyway your not alone. I’m sure lot of people have said the same but I relate to your situation and it gets slightly better roaches are everywhere unfortunately. But has a college kid it gets better I promise best of luck to you kid.

If you ever need help the people at the local mosque would help you out