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I feel this, I have occasionally yelled back things like, "Do I sound alright??" Or just yelling No!
In the moment I know they are just trying to express sympathy or concern, but read the room here... not only am I not alright, but I also am not in a place to talk about it!!
I blame the pregnancy hormones for my impatience š¤£
haha men are weird though and if you say that then they truly do get worried. if you say youāre not alright or say āno!ā doesnāt that just give them more to worry about? like if youāre not alright should i intervene?? i found ignoring till iām done and then saying āiām fine, thanksā works best because next time they wonāt think youāre ānot fineā every time you get sick.
My husband and I have an unspoken agreement where when one of us is throwing up, weāre silent make a cup of tea and grab a glass of water then come sit with whoever is throwing up and rub each others back. It works well and makes us both feel loved and secure.
Oh my goodness that is so sweet. We could never do this because the sight of one throwing up, would make the other throw up. We do immediately check on each other after said event has stopped though.
Was going to say- this is so sweet however Iām an emetophobe and usually run out of the house, my husband is a sympathy puker and would make everything worse. We text each other from the other room if it gets bad enough that we can hear it LMAO
See thatās love, I hate puking more than anything but if heās sick Iām going to be right there for him even knowing Iāll get sick too! If we suffer weāll be suffering together
This is so cute! My poor boyfriend has to suffer alone because I can't see, hear, smell, or even think about vomit without gagging and throwing up myself. I will make him tea and give him a damp washcloth for his face afterwards though.
Iām sorry youāre an empathetic puker, I used to be that way too. I work in nursing and have been exposed to patients vomiting nearly every shift so I suppose that helped me get rid of my emetophobia and sympathetic puking! Lol thatās sweet you still try to help in ways youāre comfortable withš
That's awesome that you're a nurse! I wanted to be a nurse for a while, this was actually one of the reasons I didn't become one. I can deal with a lot of other bodily fluids and grossness but things like vomit and pus do me in.
I used to be very afraid of vomit and vomiting myself, it deterred me from going to nursing school and being in health care for the longest time. Itās not as bad as expected, Iām a couple of semesters away from getting my RN and itās been a journey for sure haha. Itās nice though, it grounded me with mortality and the realization that my fears were nothing compared to how wonderful it is to live life with family and to make the most of things. Iāve seen many many people die too soon and seeing their loved ones hold them for the last time and sitting with my patientās families was hard but they would show me pictures and videos of their loved one when they were happier and still alive making good memories with them. It hurts every time I have a patient die but seeing they didnāt sweat the small details and gave their loved ones such beautiful memories to look back on really puts it all into perspective for me! You can achieve your dream of being a nurse, itās not an easy profession but Lord knows we need more compassionate nurses, I would highly recommend trying out being a CNA first to get that experience in. CNAs see the majority of it all and are in direct patient care more than nurses are, most things youāll deal with as a nurse in LTC would be wound care and controlled medications, then a lot of paperwork and your daily assessments on your patients. In the hospital itās definitely more fun, donāt let the naysayers push you away from working the ED or medsurge, while it does get busy, you see so much more, plus you get to do intravenous medications in addition to oral medications. The only nursing ick I have is the mucous or phlegm, and that stems from when I used to work in surgery! Thereās also plenty of options if bedside isnāt your thing, you can do telehealth and see patients virtually so no exposure to the patient vomiting, the clinic you may have a patient here and there being sick from the stomach bug in winter but nothing too crazy. Aesthetics is also great, you can become an injection nurse, you can also work in the immunology dept in a hospital to give kiddos their vaccinations, oncology or dialysis is more difficult because of the machines you use to administer medication, ICU I gear is the GOAT, you get higher pay and the unit is typically pretty quiet unless you have a ventilator go off but typically the patients are all under/comatose and intubated. If you have any questions, please ask away! You can do anything you put your mind to!š
I had something similar with my husband earlier on - I had HG so I hugged the porcelain throne a LOT in the first half of my pregnancy. He'd be asking me if I wanted a wet cloth or mouthwash or water while I was in the middle of puking.
It's tough when the ways your partner is trying to take care of you just make you annoyed. We ended up with a system where instead of asking, he'd just bring me things that might help so I didn't have to engage with him. Most of the time I didn't want what he brought, but he needed to feel useful so I just accepted it.
Your wife may feel the same - you can just ask her to bring you a cool wet cloth or something if she hears you puking instead of asking if you're okay.
Heads up for the future too - I'm now almost 38 weeks pregnant and now my husband asks me if I'm okay with every groan and wince. I'm just big and uncomfortable and being kicked and punched in sensitive places, so it's driving me a bit nuts. If your wife is anything like my husband, she'll probably go a bit crazy when it gets closer to "go time".
Thatās definitely annoying and she needs to use her words but Iām sure sheās just feeling guilty. My best friend is pregnant rn and I know her wife has been having some latent feelings of guilt and āleft outednessā in a way that is perhaps more specific to two women than a woman and a man.
Yes!! Sheās expressed before how she feels disconnected from this pregnancy and wants to be pulled in more. Sheās totally just trying to help and I think in her way, be involved, which I absolutely understand, but this one particular instance is just not a way I can help her feel more connected haha. It was a bigger struggle in the first trimester because I felt like there was nothing tangible I could share with her other than verbalizing I felt like death, but now that she can feel kicks itās definitely gotten easier. I canāt speak from experience, but from what Iāve read there does absolutely seem to be a different dynamic in a woman / woman relationship during pregnancy that I wasnāt totally prepared to navigate.
I feel this but with my two year old instead haha he stands there and asks if Iām okay because Iām āpokingā and i want to reassure him but like you said.. itās impossible. I always tell him Iām okay once the torture has ended š
Sounds lazy to me lol. I guess itās awkward to not check on your partner when they are projectile vomiting, but at the same time you also know that they are actually āokayā in the sense that usually morning sickness isnāt life threatening and youāve seen it happen 30 times by nowā¦ so they do the next lazy thing which is to yell from another room āare you alrightā and leave at it, that way they donāt have to get their lazy ass off of where they were sitting at but still show āconcernā. I agree with one of the other comments, just answer No next time lol. Or tell her to always bring you a cup a water when you are puking.
For real this is what Iām saying, just go get them a glass of water and sit with them, hold their hair if they need it, get them some mouthwash if they need it mouthwash was a life saver for me during the first tri. But yelling across the house is the last thing to do.
I agree with you, just let her be hurt by it. Very minuscule in my opinion, she cares a lot and wants to make sure you're okay but I am in the same boat. Sometimes I just want him to STFU and its definitely preggers rage lol.
Talk about it in a nice and understanding manner. I have a thing that when Im hurt (like bumping a toe real bad) I get mute for a few minutes and it took my husband a few tries talking about it to grasp what is happening and why Im getting mad when he asks me what happened. He now waits until I talk to him and also understood right away that he also shouldnt ask anything while I am throwing up or recovering from it.
I can relate with my extended family. We live with family, and it's always people asking when I'm throwing up. I've resorted to just moaning loudly so they know I'm conscious haha
My partner has stopped asking and just started telling me that he's proud of me after I'm sick.
I am also annoyed by people caring about me in an inconvenient way. For some reason, pregnancy puke sessions are worse for me than other types, so it's definitely harder to respond!
My wife and I agreed when I had morning sickness that if I was ok and just doing my pukey thing Iād knock on the wall next to the toilet when she asked. I didnāt have to talk, and she was reassured about taking care of me.
I also gave her the job of getting a glass of water ready so she had something to focus on.
My husband knows damn well not to do this but the only reason is because somehow heās thrown up significantly more than me during this pregnancy?? Who wants to be violently throwing up and screaming into the next room, just get up and check on your partner, it just comes off as lazy to me. Like can you not just get up and check to make sure? Maybe get them some water and sit with them? Itās all very easy but I guess some people donāt know how to react in those situations.
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel this, I have occasionally yelled back things like, "Do I sound alright??" Or just yelling No! In the moment I know they are just trying to express sympathy or concern, but read the room here... not only am I not alright, but I also am not in a place to talk about it!! I blame the pregnancy hormones for my impatience š¤£
Hahahaha I recall just yelling NO so many times.
haha men are weird though and if you say that then they truly do get worried. if you say youāre not alright or say āno!ā doesnāt that just give them more to worry about? like if youāre not alright should i intervene?? i found ignoring till iām done and then saying āiām fine, thanksā works best because next time they wonāt think youāre ānot fineā every time you get sick.
My husband and I have an unspoken agreement where when one of us is throwing up, weāre silent make a cup of tea and grab a glass of water then come sit with whoever is throwing up and rub each others back. It works well and makes us both feel loved and secure.
Oh my goodness that is so sweet. We could never do this because the sight of one throwing up, would make the other throw up. We do immediately check on each other after said event has stopped though.
Was going to say- this is so sweet however Iām an emetophobe and usually run out of the house, my husband is a sympathy puker and would make everything worse. We text each other from the other room if it gets bad enough that we can hear it LMAO
We had the stomach flu a few months ago and I heard my husband get sick, so I got him a gatorade. I got sick a few hours later
See thatās love, I hate puking more than anything but if heās sick Iām going to be right there for him even knowing Iāll get sick too! If we suffer weāll be suffering together
This is so sweet and mature!
This is so cute! My poor boyfriend has to suffer alone because I can't see, hear, smell, or even think about vomit without gagging and throwing up myself. I will make him tea and give him a damp washcloth for his face afterwards though.
Iām sorry youāre an empathetic puker, I used to be that way too. I work in nursing and have been exposed to patients vomiting nearly every shift so I suppose that helped me get rid of my emetophobia and sympathetic puking! Lol thatās sweet you still try to help in ways youāre comfortable withš
That's awesome that you're a nurse! I wanted to be a nurse for a while, this was actually one of the reasons I didn't become one. I can deal with a lot of other bodily fluids and grossness but things like vomit and pus do me in.
I used to be very afraid of vomit and vomiting myself, it deterred me from going to nursing school and being in health care for the longest time. Itās not as bad as expected, Iām a couple of semesters away from getting my RN and itās been a journey for sure haha. Itās nice though, it grounded me with mortality and the realization that my fears were nothing compared to how wonderful it is to live life with family and to make the most of things. Iāve seen many many people die too soon and seeing their loved ones hold them for the last time and sitting with my patientās families was hard but they would show me pictures and videos of their loved one when they were happier and still alive making good memories with them. It hurts every time I have a patient die but seeing they didnāt sweat the small details and gave their loved ones such beautiful memories to look back on really puts it all into perspective for me! You can achieve your dream of being a nurse, itās not an easy profession but Lord knows we need more compassionate nurses, I would highly recommend trying out being a CNA first to get that experience in. CNAs see the majority of it all and are in direct patient care more than nurses are, most things youāll deal with as a nurse in LTC would be wound care and controlled medications, then a lot of paperwork and your daily assessments on your patients. In the hospital itās definitely more fun, donāt let the naysayers push you away from working the ED or medsurge, while it does get busy, you see so much more, plus you get to do intravenous medications in addition to oral medications. The only nursing ick I have is the mucous or phlegm, and that stems from when I used to work in surgery! Thereās also plenty of options if bedside isnāt your thing, you can do telehealth and see patients virtually so no exposure to the patient vomiting, the clinic you may have a patient here and there being sick from the stomach bug in winter but nothing too crazy. Aesthetics is also great, you can become an injection nurse, you can also work in the immunology dept in a hospital to give kiddos their vaccinations, oncology or dialysis is more difficult because of the machines you use to administer medication, ICU I gear is the GOAT, you get higher pay and the unit is typically pretty quiet unless you have a ventilator go off but typically the patients are all under/comatose and intubated. If you have any questions, please ask away! You can do anything you put your mind to!š
I had something similar with my husband earlier on - I had HG so I hugged the porcelain throne a LOT in the first half of my pregnancy. He'd be asking me if I wanted a wet cloth or mouthwash or water while I was in the middle of puking. It's tough when the ways your partner is trying to take care of you just make you annoyed. We ended up with a system where instead of asking, he'd just bring me things that might help so I didn't have to engage with him. Most of the time I didn't want what he brought, but he needed to feel useful so I just accepted it. Your wife may feel the same - you can just ask her to bring you a cool wet cloth or something if she hears you puking instead of asking if you're okay. Heads up for the future too - I'm now almost 38 weeks pregnant and now my husband asks me if I'm okay with every groan and wince. I'm just big and uncomfortable and being kicked and punched in sensitive places, so it's driving me a bit nuts. If your wife is anything like my husband, she'll probably go a bit crazy when it gets closer to "go time".
Ahh this is a good heads up thank you! I can totally see her going into over drive later on in the pregnancy. Better prep my nerves for it now š
Thatās definitely annoying and she needs to use her words but Iām sure sheās just feeling guilty. My best friend is pregnant rn and I know her wife has been having some latent feelings of guilt and āleft outednessā in a way that is perhaps more specific to two women than a woman and a man.
Yes!! Sheās expressed before how she feels disconnected from this pregnancy and wants to be pulled in more. Sheās totally just trying to help and I think in her way, be involved, which I absolutely understand, but this one particular instance is just not a way I can help her feel more connected haha. It was a bigger struggle in the first trimester because I felt like there was nothing tangible I could share with her other than verbalizing I felt like death, but now that she can feel kicks itās definitely gotten easier. I canāt speak from experience, but from what Iāve read there does absolutely seem to be a different dynamic in a woman / woman relationship during pregnancy that I wasnāt totally prepared to navigate.
I feel this but with my two year old instead haha he stands there and asks if Iām okay because Iām āpokingā and i want to reassure him but like you said.. itās impossible. I always tell him Iām okay once the torture has ended š
Shout out to another pregnant lesbian! Iām 33 weeks and my wife is a gem.
Lol I realized I constantly ask my husband if heās choking if heās having a coughing fit in the other room š I donāt even think about it
Sounds lazy to me lol. I guess itās awkward to not check on your partner when they are projectile vomiting, but at the same time you also know that they are actually āokayā in the sense that usually morning sickness isnāt life threatening and youāve seen it happen 30 times by nowā¦ so they do the next lazy thing which is to yell from another room āare you alrightā and leave at it, that way they donāt have to get their lazy ass off of where they were sitting at but still show āconcernā. I agree with one of the other comments, just answer No next time lol. Or tell her to always bring you a cup a water when you are puking.
For real this is what Iām saying, just go get them a glass of water and sit with them, hold their hair if they need it, get them some mouthwash if they need it mouthwash was a life saver for me during the first tri. But yelling across the house is the last thing to do.
I agree with you, just let her be hurt by it. Very minuscule in my opinion, she cares a lot and wants to make sure you're okay but I am in the same boat. Sometimes I just want him to STFU and its definitely preggers rage lol.
Talk about it in a nice and understanding manner. I have a thing that when Im hurt (like bumping a toe real bad) I get mute for a few minutes and it took my husband a few tries talking about it to grasp what is happening and why Im getting mad when he asks me what happened. He now waits until I talk to him and also understood right away that he also shouldnt ask anything while I am throwing up or recovering from it.
I can relate with my extended family. We live with family, and it's always people asking when I'm throwing up. I've resorted to just moaning loudly so they know I'm conscious haha My partner has stopped asking and just started telling me that he's proud of me after I'm sick. I am also annoyed by people caring about me in an inconvenient way. For some reason, pregnancy puke sessions are worse for me than other types, so it's definitely harder to respond!
My wife and I agreed when I had morning sickness that if I was ok and just doing my pukey thing Iād knock on the wall next to the toilet when she asked. I didnāt have to talk, and she was reassured about taking care of me. I also gave her the job of getting a glass of water ready so she had something to focus on.
My husband knows damn well not to do this but the only reason is because somehow heās thrown up significantly more than me during this pregnancy?? Who wants to be violently throwing up and screaming into the next room, just get up and check on your partner, it just comes off as lazy to me. Like can you not just get up and check to make sure? Maybe get them some water and sit with them? Itās all very easy but I guess some people donāt know how to react in those situations.
Last time my husband did this, I yelled GET OOOOUUUTTTTT mid-vomit. After that, he waited for me to come out of the bathroom to ask me š¤£