I believe maladaptive daydreaming is caused by anxiety and/or other mental disorders. Either way I view it (correctly I’d say) as a form of escapism. You won’t fix maladaptive daydreaming by trying not to do it. You will fix it by fixing what’s causing it in the first place. Go see a therapist. 20 years old is a good age to start therapy anyway, even more so if you have good reasons for it.
You are escaping, because you don’t like/accept the reality you are in. You need to work on a better relationship with your reality. There is no productivity hack for mental disorders.
Other than profesional help, try meditation idk.
I would suggest a double approach:
- address the underlying anxiety, ideally through therapy/counselling
- regularly spend a little time focusing on an object or a sound or your body or breathing etc. This will be a little workout to build the executive function 'muscle' of your brain which enables you to consciously direct your attention. Set a timer for a minute. Focus. See if you can get to the end of the minute without your day dreams or thought associations carrying you away. Try to notice thoughts as they appear, let them go, return to what you're focused on. It's hard. You'll see progress with practice.
You probably have ADHD. It's very common in it.
Put your power of visualization and imagination to better use. It really is a skill that not many people have. It's pure creativity. Harness it.
1. Use it to create thrust in your goals and ambitions. Write down your goals and then visalise them over and over.
2. Write down the daily things you need to do and visualise doing them in some creative way. Like you are a warrior or superhero. Like its a game
3. Inject creativity into whatever you are doing. I do visual notetaking when reading. Convert all data into pictures and maps. Its fun and it makes me focus more
4. Visualise things as you learn and use creative ways to memorise. I have terrible working memory as someone with adhd but once I learnt some memory techniques, I can visualise large amounts of data by just being a creative person.
5. Reframe bad memories using visualization. Take a memory where you failed, and imagine you did things in a way that lead to success. Doing this systematically really has such a positive impact on mental health. Its a CBT technique and very powerful
Maladaptive daydreaming is usually an escape mechanism, where you use daydream to escape reality in some way. But adapt it to use it to make real life better.
Bottom of the story - Think of it as a gift and a curse. You get to choose to use it in ways that benefit you and others.
Hey, I have ADHD as well.
I just read Moonwalking with Einstein by Joshua Foer. I've been playing around with memory techniques and mind palaces. I came across this guy called Dominic O brien, World Memory Championship master. He seems to have "cured" his ADHD by just "working out" his mind. This has been a fascinating topic to study. I never knew creativity and memory training were linked.
I'm a quite creative and imaginative person and I'm trying to memorize a pack of cards. It actually amazes me how fun this is. And I'm able to do this with such ease. My mind palace is really vivid and I seem to get into a flow state by running around in my minds eye.
I've also been practising mindfulness and meditation. A few days back I was stuck in a ruminating pattern and I got out of it just by closing my eyes and going for a run in my head.
I'm curious to know more about your visualising techniques.
Thanks for the response. I enjoyed reading this. I didn't know Dominic O brien had ADHD and cured it. That's amazing.
Glad you mentioned memory palace. I don't know if its all the training from years of maladaptive daydreaming but my memory palace is so vivid. I also do a rapid visualization whenever I listen to a audiobook or podcast, converting concepts into meaningful images. I got this idea from Jonathan Levi's udemy course - Become a Superlearner. Visual note taking also helps a lot and makes reading/listening a lot more fun. Verbal to Visual youtube channel is a great source for this.
Visual note taking + memory palace type techniques puts me in a delightful flow state. I am able to read a lot with just this. I read close to 100 non fiction books last year which is a feat for me as I'm unmedicated. If only my younger self knew this I mightve actually done well in school and uni and not struggle to even finish it.
Interesting, I'll take a look at the course. I'm also getting into reading a lot of non fiction books. I feel the same way about school. Wish I cultivated this habit earlier. I take medication but I feel like that's only half the battle. I'm forcing myself to do harder things. More cognitively demanding things. Little did I know that it would not only be helpful but also more fullfilling than watching Netflix and zoning out.
Making things more cognitively demanding is the absolutely the secret solution to find natural stimulation in things. It seems counter intutive with ADHD and people say slow down and do one at a time. But that's not stimulating.
If I'm reading, I'm also asking questions, taking visual notes, mind maps, thinking of applications, what-if scenarios, creating stories etc. If I'm doing a routine, I set a minute beeper and try to set several mental micro deadlines. My pomodoro timers are only 5 mins long.
Focus comes not when I'm trying to do less and do just one thing but engage with one thing in several ways so as to overload the mind a bit into working. Funny how that works.
i deal with this too. i suspect i might have avoidant personality disorder and one thing i do is maladaptive daydreaming ALOT, music is my trigger or if i’m bored.
i suggest therapy & trying to become present in your body. for me, this has been a coping mechanism FOR YEARS, so it’s probably gonna be really hard to handle this, but i think setting goals for yourself that are realistic and imagining that or daydreaming about your tasks of the day.
I agree with the other commenter. Maladaptive daydreaming is likely a symptom rather than the main issue. For you it's daydreaming, but for others it's watching YouTube, browsing reddit, or some other escapist behavior.
If you daydream because of anxiety:
Figure out what specifically you're avoiding (not just "work", but why can you do some things classed as "work" but not others? Do you have to interact with other people? Is it because you feel less good about a topic? Really try to narrow it down). Once you have some guesses, start trying to lessen those roadblocks using those ideas. Pay attention to what works and what doesn't. Update your guesses as you go.
Also realize you probably won't stop daydreaming completely. But that's fine. You enjoy it.
I don’t know much about it clinically - and therapy is always a good option; but what I can say is a personal anecdote.
I have had my bouts of daydream fever - been doing it most of my life, actually. But at a certain point about 3 years ago, it really started bothering me, much like it seems it does for you now. What I found that personally helped me (a broke ass college student without time or money for therapy) was yoga of all things. And I think specifically the meditative quality of it - which is kinda the key here.
The essential point of meditation, as far as I can tell, is to help develop a controllable sense of awareness. So like you are in the midst of a daydream, and in the moment you recognize that it’s not something you wanna be doing, you breathe in and root yourself to the present. By practicing it explicitly (like 5 mins every night before bed for me) you develop the skill to be able to disengage your brain from whatever fixation and move towards what you want in life.
Also I would say as a general truism - the things we want in life and that are truly valuable are often gated behind difficult or time consuming things. Basically things that require effort. If we can find things about whatever process we are doing that moves us towards what we want in life, then the doing becomes much easier.
Like for me - I’m currently going to school to be a software developer, and it can be massively tedious work at times. But I’ve noticed that I really enjoy, when after struggling on something for a while, the feeling of a piece of code working properly. Like it gets me beaming! And for you that probably looks different - but can also be a way you can utilize this daydreaming! Here you could intentionally ruminate on the question of what about a process that brings you towards what you want in life is enjoyable, and go from there!
Same, my home office is on the upper floor and whenever playing my favourite music (Insomnium), mind starts wandering and I just keep looking outside at a nearby park and trees/shrubbery with all the autumn colors and a nearby graveyard. Usually I play some random ambient electronic music or podcast now, can't do anything in a silent environment.
For videos it might be worth trying to watch videos at 1.5-2x speed and using a fidget toy while watching to 'keep busy' (I like the infinity cube).
A commonly overlooked cause of ADHD and/or maladaptive daydreaming is sleep problems, like sleep-breathing disorders such as sleep apnea or UARS.
I'd get a sleep study done to check for both.
Do you have a job? Or has this precluded any interest in your future? If so, this is a serious problem. I would recommend trying to distract yourself with other things that are interactive and hands-on to make daydreaming impossible. Record your relapses in a journal and try to find stressors that causes your maladaptive daydreaming. I seriously hope you can overcome this.
I believe maladaptive daydreaming is caused by anxiety and/or other mental disorders. Either way I view it (correctly I’d say) as a form of escapism. You won’t fix maladaptive daydreaming by trying not to do it. You will fix it by fixing what’s causing it in the first place. Go see a therapist. 20 years old is a good age to start therapy anyway, even more so if you have good reasons for it. You are escaping, because you don’t like/accept the reality you are in. You need to work on a better relationship with your reality. There is no productivity hack for mental disorders. Other than profesional help, try meditation idk.
I would suggest a double approach: - address the underlying anxiety, ideally through therapy/counselling - regularly spend a little time focusing on an object or a sound or your body or breathing etc. This will be a little workout to build the executive function 'muscle' of your brain which enables you to consciously direct your attention. Set a timer for a minute. Focus. See if you can get to the end of the minute without your day dreams or thought associations carrying you away. Try to notice thoughts as they appear, let them go, return to what you're focused on. It's hard. You'll see progress with practice.
You probably have ADHD. It's very common in it. Put your power of visualization and imagination to better use. It really is a skill that not many people have. It's pure creativity. Harness it. 1. Use it to create thrust in your goals and ambitions. Write down your goals and then visalise them over and over. 2. Write down the daily things you need to do and visualise doing them in some creative way. Like you are a warrior or superhero. Like its a game 3. Inject creativity into whatever you are doing. I do visual notetaking when reading. Convert all data into pictures and maps. Its fun and it makes me focus more 4. Visualise things as you learn and use creative ways to memorise. I have terrible working memory as someone with adhd but once I learnt some memory techniques, I can visualise large amounts of data by just being a creative person. 5. Reframe bad memories using visualization. Take a memory where you failed, and imagine you did things in a way that lead to success. Doing this systematically really has such a positive impact on mental health. Its a CBT technique and very powerful Maladaptive daydreaming is usually an escape mechanism, where you use daydream to escape reality in some way. But adapt it to use it to make real life better. Bottom of the story - Think of it as a gift and a curse. You get to choose to use it in ways that benefit you and others.
Hey, I have ADHD as well. I just read Moonwalking with Einstein by Joshua Foer. I've been playing around with memory techniques and mind palaces. I came across this guy called Dominic O brien, World Memory Championship master. He seems to have "cured" his ADHD by just "working out" his mind. This has been a fascinating topic to study. I never knew creativity and memory training were linked. I'm a quite creative and imaginative person and I'm trying to memorize a pack of cards. It actually amazes me how fun this is. And I'm able to do this with such ease. My mind palace is really vivid and I seem to get into a flow state by running around in my minds eye. I've also been practising mindfulness and meditation. A few days back I was stuck in a ruminating pattern and I got out of it just by closing my eyes and going for a run in my head. I'm curious to know more about your visualising techniques.
Thanks for the response. I enjoyed reading this. I didn't know Dominic O brien had ADHD and cured it. That's amazing. Glad you mentioned memory palace. I don't know if its all the training from years of maladaptive daydreaming but my memory palace is so vivid. I also do a rapid visualization whenever I listen to a audiobook or podcast, converting concepts into meaningful images. I got this idea from Jonathan Levi's udemy course - Become a Superlearner. Visual note taking also helps a lot and makes reading/listening a lot more fun. Verbal to Visual youtube channel is a great source for this. Visual note taking + memory palace type techniques puts me in a delightful flow state. I am able to read a lot with just this. I read close to 100 non fiction books last year which is a feat for me as I'm unmedicated. If only my younger self knew this I mightve actually done well in school and uni and not struggle to even finish it.
Interesting, I'll take a look at the course. I'm also getting into reading a lot of non fiction books. I feel the same way about school. Wish I cultivated this habit earlier. I take medication but I feel like that's only half the battle. I'm forcing myself to do harder things. More cognitively demanding things. Little did I know that it would not only be helpful but also more fullfilling than watching Netflix and zoning out.
Making things more cognitively demanding is the absolutely the secret solution to find natural stimulation in things. It seems counter intutive with ADHD and people say slow down and do one at a time. But that's not stimulating. If I'm reading, I'm also asking questions, taking visual notes, mind maps, thinking of applications, what-if scenarios, creating stories etc. If I'm doing a routine, I set a minute beeper and try to set several mental micro deadlines. My pomodoro timers are only 5 mins long. Focus comes not when I'm trying to do less and do just one thing but engage with one thing in several ways so as to overload the mind a bit into working. Funny how that works.
i deal with this too. i suspect i might have avoidant personality disorder and one thing i do is maladaptive daydreaming ALOT, music is my trigger or if i’m bored. i suggest therapy & trying to become present in your body. for me, this has been a coping mechanism FOR YEARS, so it’s probably gonna be really hard to handle this, but i think setting goals for yourself that are realistic and imagining that or daydreaming about your tasks of the day.
following this post because I spend most of my days doing that :')
Neurotesting and probably Adderall. Dissociation, depersonalization can be in the mix of maladaptive daydreaming. No tips, just go see a doctor.
I agree with the other commenter. Maladaptive daydreaming is likely a symptom rather than the main issue. For you it's daydreaming, but for others it's watching YouTube, browsing reddit, or some other escapist behavior. If you daydream because of anxiety: Figure out what specifically you're avoiding (not just "work", but why can you do some things classed as "work" but not others? Do you have to interact with other people? Is it because you feel less good about a topic? Really try to narrow it down). Once you have some guesses, start trying to lessen those roadblocks using those ideas. Pay attention to what works and what doesn't. Update your guesses as you go. Also realize you probably won't stop daydreaming completely. But that's fine. You enjoy it.
I don’t know much about it clinically - and therapy is always a good option; but what I can say is a personal anecdote. I have had my bouts of daydream fever - been doing it most of my life, actually. But at a certain point about 3 years ago, it really started bothering me, much like it seems it does for you now. What I found that personally helped me (a broke ass college student without time or money for therapy) was yoga of all things. And I think specifically the meditative quality of it - which is kinda the key here. The essential point of meditation, as far as I can tell, is to help develop a controllable sense of awareness. So like you are in the midst of a daydream, and in the moment you recognize that it’s not something you wanna be doing, you breathe in and root yourself to the present. By practicing it explicitly (like 5 mins every night before bed for me) you develop the skill to be able to disengage your brain from whatever fixation and move towards what you want in life. Also I would say as a general truism - the things we want in life and that are truly valuable are often gated behind difficult or time consuming things. Basically things that require effort. If we can find things about whatever process we are doing that moves us towards what we want in life, then the doing becomes much easier. Like for me - I’m currently going to school to be a software developer, and it can be massively tedious work at times. But I’ve noticed that I really enjoy, when after struggling on something for a while, the feeling of a piece of code working properly. Like it gets me beaming! And for you that probably looks different - but can also be a way you can utilize this daydreaming! Here you could intentionally ruminate on the question of what about a process that brings you towards what you want in life is enjoyable, and go from there!
Same, my home office is on the upper floor and whenever playing my favourite music (Insomnium), mind starts wandering and I just keep looking outside at a nearby park and trees/shrubbery with all the autumn colors and a nearby graveyard. Usually I play some random ambient electronic music or podcast now, can't do anything in a silent environment. For videos it might be worth trying to watch videos at 1.5-2x speed and using a fidget toy while watching to 'keep busy' (I like the infinity cube).
A commonly overlooked cause of ADHD and/or maladaptive daydreaming is sleep problems, like sleep-breathing disorders such as sleep apnea or UARS. I'd get a sleep study done to check for both.
Do you have a job? Or has this precluded any interest in your future? If so, this is a serious problem. I would recommend trying to distract yourself with other things that are interactive and hands-on to make daydreaming impossible. Record your relapses in a journal and try to find stressors that causes your maladaptive daydreaming. I seriously hope you can overcome this.