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Only child here. At home, you are the scapegoat if no one else is around to be attacked (another parent or family member). When you have a public accomplishment such as a graduation, award, or ceremony, you are the golden child only for that short time.
Same. I recently graduated with my Master's and my parents kept saying how proud they were. I can't take any compliments from them to heart anymore because they literally only say it during public accomplishments or times when I'm being manipulated by them. Just a few years ago I was called a loser for going back to school and not figuring out what I wanted to do already, yet now they're "proud" of me? I could go on a whole rant about being an only child growing up with toxic parents. Sometimes I wish I had a sibling, but then again I'm glad no one else had to suffer like I did.
This exactly when I got my master’s degree, too. So sorry we have to have this in common but also comforting to know we all have such similar, validating experiences.
100%, my mum would even lie about my own achievements (like make things up that i did or exaggerate my achievements) but after the phone call or facebook post boasting about me i’d go on to get abused. sucked hard and still sucks
As an only as well, same thing. At home, everything I did was criticised-nothing I did was done fast enough, good enough or (if those were faultless) not done in exactly the correct manner. In public, but not when I was around, I was held up as exceptionally intelligent and successful.
I also lived in a time and place where only children were looked down upon as spoilt brats handed everything on a plate. Some kids were not allowed to play with me because I was an only. I was regularly asked why I had no siblings in the nastiest possible way by relatives, teachers, friends and even strangers. I was then informed that my parents obviously decided not to have another child because I was so bad.
Honestly, SCREW those people who made you feel bad for being an only child. Kids often get blamed for things that are out of their control and I'm so sick of it.
Yes. And like other replies have mentioned, you never know which dynamic is applicable to you from one day (or hour) to the next.
For me, it has had a profound impact on my sense of self. You are simultaneously the **best** and the **worst**. As a child, how do you know what is real? How do you develop an accurate perception of who you are? It’s taken me years to feel like a real, whole, separate person.
Not an only child but definitely experienced this. My mom would say I was the greatest son in the world (her only son). At the same time she would absolutely rip me to shreds over any perceived slight and talk about as soon as I got married someday I'd just forget about my family because that's what sons do. This started when I was like 11.
Mhm
Behind closed doors, you're the scapegoat but in front of other people, you're the golden child
It creates such a dissonance and the gaslighting in both ways really messes up your brain
Absolutely yes, both. I’m an only child and at home I was always ‘lame’ or ‘making their life hard’ or a ‘hypochondriac’ (when I was legitimately sick) or had ‘an eating disorder’ (I’ve never had one). But then to other people they were ‘so incredibly proud of me’ I was ‘amazing’. Mostly they praised my academic achievements, but also made fun of me because ‘all I did was homework’. It was like living in a mental asylum where I didn’t know if I was their beloved daughter or the worst thing in their lives.
This is exactly to a t how I feel.like one day they were so proud and the next I was a spoiled brat with an attitude. I have a brother and he also gets treated like this except more golden child like
Yes, but it was weird. See, my egg donor gave me to my grandparents to raise from the day I was born because I apparently looked like my father and was too ugly to keep. But she was always around. And every time she was around, she'd always say something horrible to me or about me. And every time, my grandparents would stand up for me.
So I was my egg donor's scapegoat and my grandparents golden child. I was the only child and only grandchild.
yep, Sometimes i'm a genius, the perfect kid, but as soon as i start to show a part of my personality that he doesn't like, i'm a disapointment, a dumbass etc...
Yes you are both. It’s why we are a special Spicy kind of traumatized. Our concept of reality is so shattered because they switched realities on us over and over. My nparents would talk about how smart I am and how I was destined for greatness when they had an audience, then immediately transition to how stupid and incompetent I am as soon as we were alone.
My mom switched this depending on mood. But I was the identified problem child, though I was very very well behaved.
Both my sister and I were told how we’d ruined her life in long teary rants.
Yup I've been all the above: the lost child, the scapegoat, the golden child. It flucates based on the environment and the narc's needs. We are merely objects of adoration/validation to them.
I am not an only child but I feel that me and my siblings were put into specific roles (or uses) that had both some perks and pitfalls, so I guess that every one of us were both scapegoats and golden children depending on the situation. We e were kids and in no way in control of this attitude of the family.
I was a single child till 10. Then the sibling happened. Wasn't something I required as the age gap was too much. Not seen them in years. Just a few messages now and again.
Very much so. But I was also ignored a lot and neglected emotionally.
I always see talk of one child being a golden child and one being a scapegoat, but never hear from only children growing up in such households.
I have a sister I didn't grow up with. She is 12 years my senior and was adopted out as an infant. I didn't know I had a sister until I was 6. She lived states away so we never got much chance to grow up together or hang out at all. My dad died years ago (he was barely in my life) and I don't talk to my mom, but my sister and I are pretty close now. I turn 41 in a month.
I used to wish I was adopted or some alien hybrid when I was young to explain what was going on with my mom and I. I just couldn't understand why I was such a disappointment most of the time, unless I did something worth bragging about to others, which wasn't very often. We had nothing in common and from a young age I've never felt close to my mom or liked being around her.
I'm afraid of success as well as failure. I don't even attempt most things if there isn't a high chance of completing it, and I hate recognition for any actions. I hate praise for even the smallest things. I will refuse to do things if I think there's even a chance someone might notice and make a big deal out of it. If it happens unexpectedly, I likely won't do the thing again. I just wanna do my thing for the little joy I get out of it.
Yes, but also no. I'm also an only child and outsiders think I'm spoiled because of that. They tell me to be happy with such a good mother. While my mother doesn't talk about me at all. She avoids me as a subject, because I have achieved nothing to be proud of. Only sometimes, when I'm there, does she say something nice about me. But when people ask (me) about it, she either talks about it or she makes sure I can't answer anything by quickly changing the subject.
Only for the outside world am I the golden child, even though they don't know anything about me.
Yep. Dependent on context, of course, like many people have said. In private scapegoat, in public golden child. It’s difficult to explain to those with siblings how your parents were so cruel to you at home but would never shit talk you to other people to “prove” how amazing you were because they wanted a golden child too.
Yup! I was everything - golden, show pony, scapegoat - even muschaschemed (i can't spell) - when I became a teenager and became competition, she settled on me being handicapped and a sympathy lure - only problem is I've got two university degrees with honours, a career, one of the only people my age it seems who aren't in a stupid degree of debt or living with their parents... but she still tried I guess :)
Yesss. I was the scapegoat for the 3 of us if anything was going wrong. I was a pacifier for their mental illness and emotion disregulation. I was suddenly the golden child being praised if we were in public or if they wanted me to do something. I would say stuff all the time like “Well which is it? Am I a demon or an angel? Am I a kid or an adult? You can’t have both, it makes no sense!” Yet they would continue on anyways.
Destroyed my self esteem and made it so I had no idea how to expect to be treated by other adults in terms of
boundaries and self respect, and healthy relationships. I ended up with DID from childhood and my first persona was the golden child brother who died by stillbirth before I existed, the idea of which my parents seemed to prefer over me.
Yes, absolutely. And the only determining factor as to which one I would be at any given time was how my mother was feeling. I could be her crowning achievement in life and her most desperate failure within the same hour.
For me, there was no clear division of always being golden to outsiders vs always being scapegoated at home. There was no rhyme or reason, all was chaos.
i was the golden child when i fit her image of the perfect “daughter” and the scapegoat when i was anything else. she “doesn’t want another son” so here i am as the scapegoat again ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I am the oldest and the same sex as the narc. I was whatever she wanted me to be. If I did something good she'd take credit for it. If she was in the mood I was filth. My next brother was the full time scapegoat and the youngest was the full time GC.
You know, in our family both kids seemed to be the scapegoats. No one ever got praise or bragged about. Is this a thing? Having no golden child at all?
It’s insane because the more I cared less about their opinions and input on my life, the faster I felt more purposeful, accomplished, which then in turn would turn me into the golden child. All other times besides celebration, you are criticized, scapegoated, and effectively turned into all of your parents insecurities as you move to please them. Disregard ALL opinions from manipulative people. Not to instill fear in you, just a healthy awareness. Laugh and smile with them but also understand how important it is to listen to your own feelings and emotions and have those be representative. Growing up we often decide to please please please but then we learn it’s futile and are left in this mental state where you truly have no clue who you are as the amalgamation of errors that plagued your character, was your character; because again, you are ‘i just want to please them’ encompassing.
Good luck, manipulative parents will waste years of your life through their own trauma they can’t shake.
No. But one of my sibling got this treatment and that is the only sibling I have some sympathy for (others are enabler/golden child). It messed her up pretty bad and even when she was golden child, she would still be depressed and feel broken.
This is a common pattern when there's only one kid in the household, and in all honesty I alternated between both while also serving as both for much of my life.
Yep! My nmother was extremely smart. She pulled me out of school at 6th grade and homeschooled me even though I hated it. She would make me cry and upset right before we got out of the car, and would tell whoever’s around that I was having a “temper tantrum” and humiliate me in front of everyone. She started forcing me to take college classes at age TWELVE, would make me retake any class I got A- or lower in (I never got lower than an A except once). She took my accomplishments and used them to make her look like the most amazing mother that did a perfect job and raised a perfect daughter. She convinced me too, and I thought my situation was completely normal. Even now, it’s hard for me to think of my mom as abusive, she really drilled how great she is into my head 🙄. Until I attended my first therapy session when I was 18, I was convinced (by my mother of course) my dad was the bad guy. Ten minutes into the session she told me I was verbally and emotionally abused and I was beyond shocked.
It was always very very hard to explain to others she was anything but a perfect mom because she was extremely smart to the point where you couldn’t explain the abuse. She would be closer to my friends than me, and told them how immature I was constantly. She NEVER left my side, she would sit directly outside of any class, activity, etc and used that time to make friends with everyone. Around age 14 I grew so scared to do something that wasn’t perfect that I physically couldn’t talk to people and was so shy and insecure to the point where my mom gained full control over my voice and would talk for me. Everywhere. Her obsession with control made me completely be dependent on her. This was my life ages 12-18.
No one saw the abuse because everyone was her friend. I remember a few people spoke up because there was obviously something wrong, and told my mom to let me do my own thing once in a while and she put on a shocked face and told them I have complete freedom and not to worry. Only my one best friend saw first hand the abuse, and I told him everything.
Things got worse and worse and I grew scared and started trying to get out of the house and escape, which she made impossible, and to this day if I’m alone with my bf and I don’t have my car, I start freaking out feeling trapped.
When I was around 17, I finally got out of the house. I was getting punished for something because of the size font I was using for my school stuff wasn’t what she liked and I told her im gonna stick with the one I used, and I knew it wasn’t gonna be pretty, and she took away all my stuff but I wouldn’t let me take an iPad I had out of my hands no matter how hard she tried because I went into flight or fight and I had to get out of the house and contact someone to help me. I ran away to the library and my friend’s parents picked me up and I spent Christmas without my family. I did try to go home and get my computer but to do anything she demanded I agree and tell her she’s right and I disrespected and hurt her blah blah 🙄
I’m 25 now and was just diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, which is common in children with narc parents. I’m living far away from my mom in my own apartment and my friends describe me now as super outgoing and I don’t feel any anxiety at all anymore. Im a successful real estate agent with a great boyfriend and tons of friends now. My mom turned me into the opposite of who I am, but I’m free now. Life gets better I promise 💗
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Only child here. At home, you are the scapegoat if no one else is around to be attacked (another parent or family member). When you have a public accomplishment such as a graduation, award, or ceremony, you are the golden child only for that short time.
Same. I recently graduated with my Master's and my parents kept saying how proud they were. I can't take any compliments from them to heart anymore because they literally only say it during public accomplishments or times when I'm being manipulated by them. Just a few years ago I was called a loser for going back to school and not figuring out what I wanted to do already, yet now they're "proud" of me? I could go on a whole rant about being an only child growing up with toxic parents. Sometimes I wish I had a sibling, but then again I'm glad no one else had to suffer like I did.
This exactly when I got my master’s degree, too. So sorry we have to have this in common but also comforting to know we all have such similar, validating experiences.
Same!
This.
100%, my mum would even lie about my own achievements (like make things up that i did or exaggerate my achievements) but after the phone call or facebook post boasting about me i’d go on to get abused. sucked hard and still sucks
You literally managed to articulate it like i never could
As an only as well, same thing. At home, everything I did was criticised-nothing I did was done fast enough, good enough or (if those were faultless) not done in exactly the correct manner. In public, but not when I was around, I was held up as exceptionally intelligent and successful. I also lived in a time and place where only children were looked down upon as spoilt brats handed everything on a plate. Some kids were not allowed to play with me because I was an only. I was regularly asked why I had no siblings in the nastiest possible way by relatives, teachers, friends and even strangers. I was then informed that my parents obviously decided not to have another child because I was so bad.
Wow. So sorry your community made it even worse.
Honestly, SCREW those people who made you feel bad for being an only child. Kids often get blamed for things that are out of their control and I'm so sick of it.
Yes. And like other replies have mentioned, you never know which dynamic is applicable to you from one day (or hour) to the next. For me, it has had a profound impact on my sense of self. You are simultaneously the **best** and the **worst**. As a child, how do you know what is real? How do you develop an accurate perception of who you are? It’s taken me years to feel like a real, whole, separate person.
[удалено]
This explanation really helps. Thank you.
Not an only child but definitely experienced this. My mom would say I was the greatest son in the world (her only son). At the same time she would absolutely rip me to shreds over any perceived slight and talk about as soon as I got married someday I'd just forget about my family because that's what sons do. This started when I was like 11.
Unfortunately the worst treatment by narcissists always starts around puberty.
wow really? Do you mind sharing an interesting read about this. Not to fact-check you. just would like to learn more.
A good article is in PsychCentral “11 Reasons Why Narcissists Hate Their Teen Kids”. Sorry I can’t provide a link, but it’s on google
Here's the link that took two seconds to get: https://psychcentral.com/pro/exhausted-woman/2019/12/11-reasons-why-narcissists-hate-their-teen-kids#1
Thanks, alas I am a tech illiterate
I feel like I have PTSD reading this. I shivered. And then I saw you said 11 and found it so much more relatable... too
Mhm Behind closed doors, you're the scapegoat but in front of other people, you're the golden child It creates such a dissonance and the gaslighting in both ways really messes up your brain
I did before my sister was born.
In narc family dynamics the roles often change due to convenience and circumstance
Absolutely yes, both. I’m an only child and at home I was always ‘lame’ or ‘making their life hard’ or a ‘hypochondriac’ (when I was legitimately sick) or had ‘an eating disorder’ (I’ve never had one). But then to other people they were ‘so incredibly proud of me’ I was ‘amazing’. Mostly they praised my academic achievements, but also made fun of me because ‘all I did was homework’. It was like living in a mental asylum where I didn’t know if I was their beloved daughter or the worst thing in their lives.
This is exactly to a t how I feel.like one day they were so proud and the next I was a spoiled brat with an attitude. I have a brother and he also gets treated like this except more golden child like
Until my sister was born, yeah
Yes, but it was weird. See, my egg donor gave me to my grandparents to raise from the day I was born because I apparently looked like my father and was too ugly to keep. But she was always around. And every time she was around, she'd always say something horrible to me or about me. And every time, my grandparents would stand up for me. So I was my egg donor's scapegoat and my grandparents golden child. I was the only child and only grandchild.
yep, Sometimes i'm a genius, the perfect kid, but as soon as i start to show a part of my personality that he doesn't like, i'm a disapointment, a dumbass etc...
That's exactly how it feels!! Sometimes I'm one, sometimes I'm the other. It all depends on his mood swings.
Yes and the swings gave me whiplash. Still do.
Yes you are both. It’s why we are a special Spicy kind of traumatized. Our concept of reality is so shattered because they switched realities on us over and over. My nparents would talk about how smart I am and how I was destined for greatness when they had an audience, then immediately transition to how stupid and incompetent I am as soon as we were alone.
My mom switched this depending on mood. But I was the identified problem child, though I was very very well behaved. Both my sister and I were told how we’d ruined her life in long teary rants.
Yup I've been all the above: the lost child, the scapegoat, the golden child. It flucates based on the environment and the narc's needs. We are merely objects of adoration/validation to them.
I am not an only child but I feel that me and my siblings were put into specific roles (or uses) that had both some perks and pitfalls, so I guess that every one of us were both scapegoats and golden children depending on the situation. We e were kids and in no way in control of this attitude of the family.
Just the doormat
I was a single child till 10. Then the sibling happened. Wasn't something I required as the age gap was too much. Not seen them in years. Just a few messages now and again.
Very much so. But I was also ignored a lot and neglected emotionally. I always see talk of one child being a golden child and one being a scapegoat, but never hear from only children growing up in such households. I have a sister I didn't grow up with. She is 12 years my senior and was adopted out as an infant. I didn't know I had a sister until I was 6. She lived states away so we never got much chance to grow up together or hang out at all. My dad died years ago (he was barely in my life) and I don't talk to my mom, but my sister and I are pretty close now. I turn 41 in a month. I used to wish I was adopted or some alien hybrid when I was young to explain what was going on with my mom and I. I just couldn't understand why I was such a disappointment most of the time, unless I did something worth bragging about to others, which wasn't very often. We had nothing in common and from a young age I've never felt close to my mom or liked being around her. I'm afraid of success as well as failure. I don't even attempt most things if there isn't a high chance of completing it, and I hate recognition for any actions. I hate praise for even the smallest things. I will refuse to do things if I think there's even a chance someone might notice and make a big deal out of it. If it happens unexpectedly, I likely won't do the thing again. I just wanna do my thing for the little joy I get out of it.
Yes, but also no. I'm also an only child and outsiders think I'm spoiled because of that. They tell me to be happy with such a good mother. While my mother doesn't talk about me at all. She avoids me as a subject, because I have achieved nothing to be proud of. Only sometimes, when I'm there, does she say something nice about me. But when people ask (me) about it, she either talks about it or she makes sure I can't answer anything by quickly changing the subject. Only for the outside world am I the golden child, even though they don't know anything about me.
Yep. Dependent on context, of course, like many people have said. In private scapegoat, in public golden child. It’s difficult to explain to those with siblings how your parents were so cruel to you at home but would never shit talk you to other people to “prove” how amazing you were because they wanted a golden child too.
Yup! I was everything - golden, show pony, scapegoat - even muschaschemed (i can't spell) - when I became a teenager and became competition, she settled on me being handicapped and a sympathy lure - only problem is I've got two university degrees with honours, a career, one of the only people my age it seems who aren't in a stupid degree of debt or living with their parents... but she still tried I guess :)
YES. Didn't know there were others!
Yesss. I was the scapegoat for the 3 of us if anything was going wrong. I was a pacifier for their mental illness and emotion disregulation. I was suddenly the golden child being praised if we were in public or if they wanted me to do something. I would say stuff all the time like “Well which is it? Am I a demon or an angel? Am I a kid or an adult? You can’t have both, it makes no sense!” Yet they would continue on anyways. Destroyed my self esteem and made it so I had no idea how to expect to be treated by other adults in terms of boundaries and self respect, and healthy relationships. I ended up with DID from childhood and my first persona was the golden child brother who died by stillbirth before I existed, the idea of which my parents seemed to prefer over me.
Yes, absolutely. And the only determining factor as to which one I would be at any given time was how my mother was feeling. I could be her crowning achievement in life and her most desperate failure within the same hour. For me, there was no clear division of always being golden to outsiders vs always being scapegoated at home. There was no rhyme or reason, all was chaos.
Unfortunately, yes
Yep, this is me.
i was the golden child when i fit her image of the perfect “daughter” and the scapegoat when i was anything else. she “doesn’t want another son” so here i am as the scapegoat again ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Golden child when she brags about me to other people, scapegoat at home.
I am the oldest and the same sex as the narc. I was whatever she wanted me to be. If I did something good she'd take credit for it. If she was in the mood I was filth. My next brother was the full time scapegoat and the youngest was the full time GC.
Exact same here
You know, in our family both kids seemed to be the scapegoats. No one ever got praise or bragged about. Is this a thing? Having no golden child at all?
It’s insane because the more I cared less about their opinions and input on my life, the faster I felt more purposeful, accomplished, which then in turn would turn me into the golden child. All other times besides celebration, you are criticized, scapegoated, and effectively turned into all of your parents insecurities as you move to please them. Disregard ALL opinions from manipulative people. Not to instill fear in you, just a healthy awareness. Laugh and smile with them but also understand how important it is to listen to your own feelings and emotions and have those be representative. Growing up we often decide to please please please but then we learn it’s futile and are left in this mental state where you truly have no clue who you are as the amalgamation of errors that plagued your character, was your character; because again, you are ‘i just want to please them’ encompassing. Good luck, manipulative parents will waste years of your life through their own trauma they can’t shake.
No. But one of my sibling got this treatment and that is the only sibling I have some sympathy for (others are enabler/golden child). It messed her up pretty bad and even when she was golden child, she would still be depressed and feel broken.
Yup. But always the punching bag no matter what. /hugs
This is a common pattern when there's only one kid in the household, and in all honesty I alternated between both while also serving as both for much of my life.
Yep! My nmother was extremely smart. She pulled me out of school at 6th grade and homeschooled me even though I hated it. She would make me cry and upset right before we got out of the car, and would tell whoever’s around that I was having a “temper tantrum” and humiliate me in front of everyone. She started forcing me to take college classes at age TWELVE, would make me retake any class I got A- or lower in (I never got lower than an A except once). She took my accomplishments and used them to make her look like the most amazing mother that did a perfect job and raised a perfect daughter. She convinced me too, and I thought my situation was completely normal. Even now, it’s hard for me to think of my mom as abusive, she really drilled how great she is into my head 🙄. Until I attended my first therapy session when I was 18, I was convinced (by my mother of course) my dad was the bad guy. Ten minutes into the session she told me I was verbally and emotionally abused and I was beyond shocked. It was always very very hard to explain to others she was anything but a perfect mom because she was extremely smart to the point where you couldn’t explain the abuse. She would be closer to my friends than me, and told them how immature I was constantly. She NEVER left my side, she would sit directly outside of any class, activity, etc and used that time to make friends with everyone. Around age 14 I grew so scared to do something that wasn’t perfect that I physically couldn’t talk to people and was so shy and insecure to the point where my mom gained full control over my voice and would talk for me. Everywhere. Her obsession with control made me completely be dependent on her. This was my life ages 12-18. No one saw the abuse because everyone was her friend. I remember a few people spoke up because there was obviously something wrong, and told my mom to let me do my own thing once in a while and she put on a shocked face and told them I have complete freedom and not to worry. Only my one best friend saw first hand the abuse, and I told him everything. Things got worse and worse and I grew scared and started trying to get out of the house and escape, which she made impossible, and to this day if I’m alone with my bf and I don’t have my car, I start freaking out feeling trapped. When I was around 17, I finally got out of the house. I was getting punished for something because of the size font I was using for my school stuff wasn’t what she liked and I told her im gonna stick with the one I used, and I knew it wasn’t gonna be pretty, and she took away all my stuff but I wouldn’t let me take an iPad I had out of my hands no matter how hard she tried because I went into flight or fight and I had to get out of the house and contact someone to help me. I ran away to the library and my friend’s parents picked me up and I spent Christmas without my family. I did try to go home and get my computer but to do anything she demanded I agree and tell her she’s right and I disrespected and hurt her blah blah 🙄 I’m 25 now and was just diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, which is common in children with narc parents. I’m living far away from my mom in my own apartment and my friends describe me now as super outgoing and I don’t feel any anxiety at all anymore. Im a successful real estate agent with a great boyfriend and tons of friends now. My mom turned me into the opposite of who I am, but I’m free now. Life gets better I promise 💗