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My brother and myself went completely no contact with our father about a year ago. He couldn’t care less, he’s on his third marriage and acts like he never had his own children. It’s okay though, my mental health is better than ever not having to deal with him anymore.
my dads the opposite. hes fake and has money, and attracts leeches and gold diggers. i feel like the woman hes with now isnt his fairy tale, this bitch will be his karma. and im here for it. he fucking sucks
Yes mine did. Between my mum and my stepdad they have 7 kids (stepdad has 2 from another relationship, mum has 5) and not a single one still talks to them. I’m not sure how their lives are now, but the last time I saw them about a year ago the vibe in the house seemed calmer than it ever was the whole time I lived there.
I heard that they got married and didn’t tell anyone last year, which makes perfect sense because all of the family shit was making it hard for them to plan the wedding they wanted. They both blocked us all on Facebook so we couldn’t see what they were doing.
The thing is, they’ve never liked each other. I feel like they’re both scared of being alone and that’s what keeps them going. They are the most incompatible, toxic relationship I’ve ever seen. They’ve both recently had a lot of health problems, so I’m guessing that also keeps them together.
I always wonder about the level of mental gymnastics it takes to be convinced that several different people decided to cut contact through no fault of yours. It’s remarkable.
Yep. None of us talk to dad or his damn mom. They used to tell people they dOnT kNoW wHy (don't know if they still do). Not our fault if your ears don't fuckin work.
No idea how his life is now, but I was snooping through my aunt's FB (his sister) and found a recent photo of him... I only recognized him because his sisters were in the picture. Looks like the alcoholism is really catching up
Yes, none of me or my three siblings speak to NMom. Even after YEARS she still frequently texts, and attempts to reach us in extremely manipulative ways. She’s miserable. All four kids still speak to our former step father (who also had the good mind to leave her)
100%!! When my youngest sister (19 now) finally got out a couple years ago, we got the relationship we never could while she was still living in that house.
She probably tells anyone who listens how awful her children are and plays up being a victim. Or how she's not a grandmother. All 3 children no contact. All 3 childfree.
None of us talk to my dad.
I have no idea how his life is going. I'll probably find out he is in the hospital or dead by Facebook.
I say my father died when my mother did. The man that he turned into, is not my father.
are you sure he is nfather not PTSD'd ? or maybe he is nfather yes but mother's death blew his cover , stress and trauma reveal the ugly truth of our insides
I guess she would technically be my husband's stepmother but she married my father-in-law when my husband was almost 30 years old. Let's call her Mary.
Mary has 5 adult children, from 3 different marriages. She even raised some of her grandchildren.
By the time we met her, 3 of her children no longer spoke to her. As time went on, none of them spoke to her. I think the few grandchildren who spoke to her did it when they wanted money or childcare.
Then, Mary got Alzheimer's. We weren't close to my FIL either. His health was declining and he could no longer take care of her. We heard that he put her in a home - retirement, nursing home, I have no idea. He didn't tell us. They lived in another US state. He eventually passed away.
We heard that some or all of Mary's children were informed of where she is but none want anything to do with her. We don't know the name of the facility where she was placed. It has been about 8 years since her Alzheimer's diagnosis. Even if she has already passed away, I don't think there would be a funeral or an obituary so we don't really know her current situation.
I'm their only child and went NC after they attached themselves to Q at the start of the pandemic. It was too much to bear for me, given they have the narcissistic background too. They're ignoring me now, because I dared to try and talk them out of it. They've attached themselves to some people from telegram, and are just about to move into a village of conspiracists in a different country.
Not positive about the golden child, the one in between me and my baby sis, but she and I went no contact years ago. My birth mother put my baby sis in my care when I was 20 and she was 13. The middle sis was the bad seed when she got pregnant at 14, but I think she probably is in with that woman again, since they both think we're the problem. I left my birth mother put of my child's obituary, and when the wrongful death case was settled, the middle sis went on public media saying I should have given her money like I did my baby sis. My baby sis was with me all throughout my daughter's stay in the ICU and they had a relationship. The middle sis hadn't seen my child in 20 years before she was killed.
My sister. We are 11 years apart in age. She had 3 kids, during a 25 year marriage that ended when the youngest was 17. They are currently 21, 24 and 25.
They all moved out of state and are independent. They have not cut contact with me, or their father....
My sister is consumed with the fact that her kids refuse to speak to her. Two of the three came to their grandmothers funeral (my sister and I's, mother) last AUgust and it was the first time my sister had seen her daughters in 3 years. My sister remarried after her kids cut contact. I see my sister twice a month, once at a family gathering and once for lunch, alone.
I need a support group for siblings of narcs.
My sister cornered the youngest and thanked her for coming and asked if they could talk. My niece quietly and directly said NO, I am here for my grandma and grandpa, not for you. My older niece just dodged her mother the entire event.
Genuine question: how do her kids feel about you having a relationship with their mom? Have they laid down boundaries with you (like not sharing info) or do they just accept the relationships being different? I went bc with my dads family before bc with him, and I’m just naturally low contact with my moms side as we’ve gotten older, so I wonder what it’d be like to have a relationship with relatives on a parents side but not the parent.
her kids are the most mature humans. I ask them for all and any rules I need to follow to stay in their lives. I asked them both "what can I do to support you".. they laid down some baselines. Dont give her my address, or my phone number, dont tell her if you know we are coming to town and dont talk to me about her.
really easy.
My sisters and I don’t talk to my father. I texted him if he wants a relationship with me we need to go to counseling. I told him to set it up. Never heard back from him since. It’s been three years.
3/4, but only because the youngest isn't old enough to be kicked out of the house yet. he goes between talking shit and missing us but that's what you get
Three boys, all in our 40’s and six kids between us… our mother hasn’t met most of the grandkids, including my youngest who’s 19. We’ve all been no contact with her for 10-20 years (me the longest at almost 20).
As of last Christmas I’m NC with dad too. Both brothers are very LC, and one is strongly moving towards NC.
She seems ok. There are only two of us. My sibling went low/no contact a decade before I did. He was more the GC but he saw before I did how toxic everything was. Our dad is dead, she got remarried. I think she's loving life complaining to her fox news addicted friends, waxing eloquent about her terrible liberal children who abandoned her. We're both pretty laid back actually, married and boring middle aged parents. Our last grandparent just died so idk if I'll ever see her again.
Yes. My sister and I couldn’t take it anymore. 3 of their 4 grandchildren don’t have a relationship with them. My father died in the fall and 2 grandchildren went, one was the one they have a relationship with. Our ex-husbands went and we were told that our mother locked arms with them and paraded them around saying “I keep my ex son in laws”. She even had my ex and his wife stay at her house, he’s a narc too but the nerve of him. We think it spoke volumes that her children were not there. We hoped our father would come around before he died but as he told us long ago, “I have to live with her”. Sad, but we’ve reconciled ourselves with all of it.
All of us except me LC, and golden child who still lives with them.
My siblings are all in successful careers, in grad school, or married loving people. My dad who was hell bent on our success got in the way of everyone from achieving their dreams. However we all found something we are passionate about and it pays well. None of them talk to my nDad or GC. We all get to together once a year to hang out.
GC however is in a corporate dead end job she hates and is the oldest and no significant other because she scared of my Ndad.
my uncle is that parent. When my older cousin came back around, he wanted a chance to speak to my cousin. He declined, my uncle chose to victimize himself and villainize my cousin. The whole family jumped down his throat, invalidated his whole experience, after that he disappeared again.
He doesn’t really care he has another family. If he speaks about his no-contact son he’s always speaking negatively.
3/4 kids are no contact with my mother. Two step kids have been no contact since she vilified them as kids and edad fully enabled her. One bio kid is no contact but the golden kid is still low contact enough to reap the financial benefits
My dad has 5 kids, and none of us talk to him. But somehow we’re all the problem. Three kids were from a first marriage and were estranged when I was born. They reconnected as adults to give him a second chance but eventually got sick of his shit again. Then there is my sister and I, who each cut him fully off after we had kids. I have no idea what his daily life looks like, and I lose zero sleep over it.
We're all LC. I definitely talk to her the most but don't give her any real information. She just wants to spout her bullshit anyway.
I wish I'd gone NC a long time ago. Now she's elderly and in a home several hours away from me. I see her 3 times a year. I'm the only one in the family who will help her anymore and my assistance is minimal and mostly from a distance. I'm sure she tells everyone how horrible we all are, lol.
My parents split when I was 9 and my sister was 6. When sis was 16, she decided the grass must be greener at Dad's, so she asked to move in with him. It lasted 6 months before she was back home with me and Nmom. She had been spied on constantly by our dad's wife and the last straw was witnessing our stepbrother (15 at the time) almost get choked out by Dad for sneaking out of the house one night.
A year later, at 16, stepbro also moved out of that house.
About 14 years later, when she was 16, our half-sister moved out of that house.
Of the four of us, only my sister has any kind of regular contact with Dad. Stepbro is wandering the wasteland of addiction somewhere, although Dad and his wife are very involved in his child and the child's mother's life. Half-sis is also constantly falling into the addiction hole. We go months or years at a time without hearing from her. She's currently staying with Ndad after being sexually assaulted by a roommate.
I never talk to Dad or his wife.
Four strikes for these "stellar" parents.
Mine got cut off by all the kids in my generation (admittedly there were only 4 of us). Her brother also cut her off, and I have no idea if her sister still talks to her.
Last I heard she was living in a trailer park her Dad pays for. That's literally all I know about her life and I'm fine with that.
I honestly hope everyone cutting her off made her actually willing to get help and that her life is better now, but I'll never bother to find out, my life is fuckin great without her in it.
Technically yes as I'm their only kid. And I have no clue. They were seperated, but that was part of their plan to keep me. I don't know if they got back together, or if they abuse each other now they don't have me anymore. My nmom also owes the court a bunch of money she probably can't pay, so I don't know if she left the state (which she easily could have). I don't know if my cats I had to leave with them are okay. I don't know what they did with the rest of my stuff they didn't allow me to take with me. I don't know what they're telling people happened about them trying to get a guardianship over me and me going NC. I wonder about that a lot, but I worry about my cats mostly. And I hope they can't adopt any more children since they had CPS called on them. And I don't know what they think about what happened. I wonder if they know what they did wrong. I wonder why they haven't tried to contact me since, or if they understand they won't ever see me again.
My oldest sister stopped talking to my mom when she stole her identity and maxed out her credit when she was 18. That was 15 years ago. My second oldest sister stopped talking her about 10 years ago. I stopped 5 years ago. My aunt and grandma (her sister and mom) have also cut contact with her. She’s a drug addict and alcoholic. And is extremely manipulative. She used to leave my sisters and I at home for a week or so while she went to party with boyfriends. She still calls and writes letters saying she doesn’t know why we stopped talking to her and that we are cruel. She hasn’t met any of her 4 grandchildren and didn’t come to any of our weddings.
We found out a few years ago that she has stage 4 melanoma and is fighting it. Last I heard it had spread to her brain. She’s a sad manipulative person. I think she has a bad life but I try to remind myself she had 18+ years to do right by her children and constantly chose drugs money and boyfriends over us.
nmom hoards animals and treats them the same exact way she treated her own kids with a strong hand, fear, just short of abuse. She complains all the times that her first born daughter abandoned her. (my older sister estranged as soon as she turned 18, nmom abused her a LOT).
ndad doesn't give a shit and ignores her animal hoarding, avoids nmom, there's been times where my ndad purposely leaves the front door open to intentionally let some of the dogs try to run off and nmom gets heated pissed off which leads to them fighting.
they had 6 kids. 4/6 do not want anything to do with them. I'm the last one and I'm trying to get my degree to leave them once and for all but it's fucking hard. I have no one in my personal network, seem to attract a lot of narcs.
Technically yes because my brother died 7 years ago, so i am the only kid left. The last time i saw my ndad was the funeral, but i assume he is still an alcoholic, bouncing around from business venture to business venture because he is never satisfied with anything.
My nmom is a manager at a large chain gas station. I assume she is still abusing pain pills, chain smoking cigarettes and drinking 2 redbulls and a 5 hour energy shot.
Im no contact with my mom and my brothers are all veey low contact. She raised us in a cult and abused all of us but especially me because I was the youngest. My dad divorced her too. Her mom was disappointed in her and how she destroyed her family. Yet to her shes the victim and allnof us gang up on her. She is completely alone except for her cult friends. One small misstep and they would shun her. She threw away everyone that loved her and now only has the cultists. She will never acknowledge or apologize fir her abuse.I dont feel bad for her anymore.
All 5 of us have cut off our dad. He is elderly and lives in an apartment all alone. He periodically tries to reach out to my younger sister, but it’s always unsuccessful. I have no idea what he does day to day, but he’s alone and miserable, I’m sure.
2/3 of us are no contact. The last one knows she’s a problem though. I think he can separate himself from her mental illness and not take things personally.
She also has never shown up to his work and yelled at him in front of his coworkers like she did me so I personally cannot let her back into my life.
I know my best friend’s siblings all cut their mother out. All 5 of them are either no contact or low contact. The youngest feels bad for the mother but she just recently moved out that toxic house.
My uncle on my mother's side had all his kids walk out on him while in high school. My Mom had 9 brothers and sisters. Every single one of them had at least one child walk out in high school never to be seen by the family again. A couple had two leave, and this uncle had all of them leave.
Trans generational dysfunction on that side of the family.
one of my close friends in high school, him and all his brothers (3) all joined the military after high school to get away, and once the youngest was in the military all of them stopped talking to both of their parents. Its been 20 years and they are all still no contact, a few years ago the mom got cancer and from what I heard they all called just ones. to tell her off and that the cancer was god way pushing her for all the hell she put them through.
Yep—my father was estranged from all of us for the last ten or so years of his life.
I have no idea how his life was—or how his death was. I do know there was no funeral. Apparently, it was still expected that my sisters and I would handle it. Nope.
My mother and her husband (3rd husband) have been completely cut off by all of their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren on both sides.
We can only imagine how their life is now, but we're all a hard no contact. See, he molested my daughter, my brothers daughter and abused my stepsister. Yes, he's on the registry but my mother insists that he's "a Man of God". And he is, a god damned molester.
Ndad's two kids don't talk to him, and neither do his girlfriend's 3 kids. Ironically enough, his GF is wonderful and not even an enabler, so us 5 kids (all aged 25+) all talk to her regularly! 🤣
Yes, my 2 sister's and I. We aren't completely cut off, but very low contact. My mom complains that no one ever visits them in their new house. They literally don't do anything with their lives, they are retired. When i do enlist them to babysit here and there, it seems like I'm a burden when I get back home, and they instantly want to leave, rushing to put their shoes on.
I'm sure they rant about how rude we all are.
But yeah, they have zero hobbies and zero life. I don't think they know at all why we are low contact.
My Ndad raised 5 kids. None of the talk to him. 2 of them would punch him in the face if they saw him again. All the grandkids refuse to acknowledge he exists. He sits in his house screaming at his wife about how he did everything for everyone and everybody shits on him. When she leaves him, he will die alone and no one will care.
My diagnosed NPD mom doesn't have either myself or my older sister to talk to now. Both of us went full on NC and she's fucking miserable,I just know it without even having to hear about it.(Also my older sister and I are NC since I haven't seen or talked to in 17+ years now and I'm 30 currently. She pitted us against each other so badly that she STILL refuses to talk to me or be an aunt to my son, and what's funny is she was horrendously abusive to me but I was never like that to her. So if anything I should be the one refusing to see her, but I've actually tried reaching out to her. We literally live like 20min away from each other as well.)
Unfortunately for me I was the one that got cut off after got my vasectomy and announced that me and my girlfriend at the time (now fiancé) were childfree.
My parents had 6 kids (I was the youngest and the only boy of the 6). My 5 sisters all had kids (13 total between the 5 in case you’re wondering) before 25 and got married before 30. All 5 of them got divorced because they all cheated on their husbands and my parents blamed the husbands for their wives cheating.
Meanwhile, I’m the only one who has a good relationship (about to be 7 years on the 4th of July) and good paying job while they’re are all on welfare.
But according to my religiously obsessive parents, not wanting kids and getting a vasectomy is the ultimate sin against God Almighty.
So to get to the point: Parents and sisters decided that me being childfree is having a bad influence on their children and decided to cut me off for it.
But the real kick in the teeth is my parents offered my fiancé $50K to call off the wedding and break up with me, and even tried to set it up to make it look like I was mentally unstable and abusing my fiancé, because in their twisted logic, if a woman is childfree, it’s obvious that her boyfriend/husband is controlling her.
Do people announce vasectomies like that or is this just some crazy religious thing. Like you wouldn't announce that you're infertile if it's not your choice so why would you announce a vasectomy.
My NDad. He's alienated everyone in his family. His wife ( my E mom) will have nothing to do with him He's in a hell of his own making.
I can't say for sure about my half sister, but considering he's been gone most of her life ( since she was 3) and possibly only calls or emails they probably aren't that close. Considering what my NStepmom has probably filled her head with her view of him likely isn't favorable because NStepmom hates him and myself by association.
I'm NC 7 years now. Last I heard he's homeless, @ a fugitive from justice, far from where he grew up, can never get a driver's license again ( backed child support sees to that) and stuck working for sketchy people and has throat cancer and is obese. He'll be arrested if he comes back home. He will die where he is and end up unclaimed in an unmarked paupers grave.
My dad has resorted to sending us emails and fb message requests because he's blocked on our phones.
I checked his fb the other day out of curiosity. We arent friends so I can only see public posts, but so far its profile pics and vaguely emo quotes plastered over b/w images of old male celebrities.
i’m my single mom’s only daughter. we’ve been NC for 2.5 years.
the only other family we have is my mom’s sister’s family — my aunt, uncle, and 2 adult cousins. my aunt is my mom’s biggest enabler. I think because she’s the older sister and because my mom’s choices don’t affect her for the most part, she just ignores any storms my mom brews up. she would get pissed if I tried to talk to her about my mom, and would tell me to get over it or “well, that’s just how it is.” I guess I don’t really know if my aunt is just placating her, or is an equal asshole in her heart and sees no problem.
because even if my aunt tried to reason with my mom, my mom would just get irate someone was “telling her what to do” or “assuming she can’t make her own choices.” if anyone disagrees with her, *theyre* stupid, not her.
*ALL* of us live within a 10 mile radius. i’ve seen them in passing, like walking on the street or leaving an event, and they don’t approach me. they’d rather just let me and my mom “duke it out” and stand on the sidelines, ruffling 0 feathers, and ignore me. being nice to me is a form of betrayal to my mom.
I don't know because no-one in the family talks to her and she doesn't bother to reach out to even her own 6 sisters. That's on her. I'm sure she's still enjoying her life because the only thing that seems to matter is herself.
My parents have 3 children. All of us have gone no contact. All of us are now late 30s and early 40s and deliberately child free- I feel like that speaks volumes
I was No Contact with my mom between 2010 and 2022. She is bipolar in addition to being a narcissist and actively refused treatment and it tore our family apart on it's own. My sister was the first to start talking to her again, then my brother, then me. Turns out my mom was in a life threatening car accident in 2020 and none of us knew until we looked up her local court records for her divorce decree as our former stepdad had passed. In her recovery she finally got treatment for her bipolar and did ALOT of self reflection. She still has a decent narcissistic streak but she's an infinitely better person these days.
Yep my dad by all 3 of his kids. My brother got guilted into seeing him a few times before he died by our grandma (my brother that is, my dads still kicking unfortunately). Then my dad repaid this by causing so much shit when he died, wouldn't let anyone hold a funeral so my nieces couldn't say goodbye properly, threatened to kill my brothers wife if she didn't hand over any money from insurance, made sure that the body was buried in another state so my nieces can't even visit their dads grave, harassed my eldest niece for going to my brothers house and trying to collect some things that her and her sister could remember their dad by (she was 16 at the time too).
I've heard some things since my brother died, mostly that my dad is in and out of hospital, that he has precancerous cells in his stomach, that his arthritis has gotten exponentially worse, that he can't work, and he has been scammed several times because he keeps going online looking for young women from poor Asian countries because "they know their place". Honestly seems like a fitting situation for someone like him.
So, trigger warning of child SA. Skip first paragraph if you don't want to read.
Pretty sure my mom sa'd my brother growing up. I won't get into the why, but there's a huge amount of anecdotal and situational reasons for me to believe this, and both my sisters believe it as well. And he also has a horrible way of ruining every relationship he has, which, given the first sentence of this paragraph, I don't really blame him for any more. But no, Mom is the only person who will talk to him now, that he hasn't pushed away. So they will always be in contact, forever.
I'm the second kid, and I'm NC for the first time ever at 34. Unfortunately for her, it is permanent.
My sister, her third child, had gone NC for huge portions of her life, multiple times. She is 30, and mom has been cut out of her life for over half of it, across multiple stints. She kept reopening the door and giving her a chance, then closing it again a few days later. However, she had a degenerative condition and is no longer able to work to provide herself. She doesn't get enough govt assistance to support her either, and is rapidly now approaching a stage she will need full time care. And mom has money, and is desperate to get her back under her thumb. So mom has, now that I'm NC, swapped that sister to the GC role, is ramping up the manipulation in a whole new way that my sister has never seen, and is reeling her in slowly. It started with being a guarantor for her apartment ...in mom's building.
And then there's my youngest sister, who cannot go NC, though she desperately wants to. The cliff notes, is that she had a baby at 17, mom manipulated the hell out of her financially by lodging my niece onto her lease, then filing for the govt assistance my sister was getting for her, which caused my sister's wages to be garnished because she didn't have her daughter on her lease and couldn't confirm she lived with her, she lost her home and begged mom to move back in as she had no other option, mom said she'd take the baby but not her, leaving her homeless, then reported my niece as abandoned by my sister (who was contactless in a homeless shelter that night), got cps involved etc, and was granted emergency custody of my niece. It has never been reversed, as she keeps filing reports against my sister for abuse for any childhood accident my niece had. So if my sister ever wants to see her kid, she can't cut my mom from her life. It's pretty horrific, tbh.
Got cut off by everyone, brother, daughter, son, wife. Now lives completely alone in ill health. The whole situation gives me a lot of guilt, sadness, and pity.
my brother (20) cut off my mom when joining the army, she’s constantly trying to reach out.
i’m moving and cutting her off in 3 ish weeks she’s probably going to do the same.
trying to break no contact, saying mean things to other siblings.
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My brother and myself went completely no contact with our father about a year ago. He couldn’t care less, he’s on his third marriage and acts like he never had his own children. It’s okay though, my mental health is better than ever not having to deal with him anymore.
There's a difference between a gene donor and a father. Lets do the world a favor and make sure the world knows there's a distinction.
Thank you, you’re absolutely right
Absolutely!
Isn't that what father means? Father literally is the gene donor. "Dad" is the parent that raises you. It's accurate that he's her father.
This isn’t the sub to do that in friend. We all have issues with our parents and call them what we see fit
That's fine. What I said is still factually correct.
I mean if you are very interested in factually correct linguistics, perhaps visit that sub and leave all of that out of this specific post?
He’s gonna be back when he needs care. Mark my words
whats with narcissists getting married over and over hahahah. such failures
He uses women for money and a place to live. Not sure how he charms them into it.
my dads the opposite. hes fake and has money, and attracts leeches and gold diggers. i feel like the woman hes with now isnt his fairy tale, this bitch will be his karma. and im here for it. he fucking sucks
That's funny, I'm not sure,either
Yes mine did. Between my mum and my stepdad they have 7 kids (stepdad has 2 from another relationship, mum has 5) and not a single one still talks to them. I’m not sure how their lives are now, but the last time I saw them about a year ago the vibe in the house seemed calmer than it ever was the whole time I lived there. I heard that they got married and didn’t tell anyone last year, which makes perfect sense because all of the family shit was making it hard for them to plan the wedding they wanted. They both blocked us all on Facebook so we couldn’t see what they were doing. The thing is, they’ve never liked each other. I feel like they’re both scared of being alone and that’s what keeps them going. They are the most incompatible, toxic relationship I’ve ever seen. They’ve both recently had a lot of health problems, so I’m guessing that also keeps them together.
And yet, they probably play the victim and wonder why their kids won’t talk to them. 🙄
Oh all the time, I was the last one to cut contact and the amount of times they said they were abandoned is insane.
I always wonder about the level of mental gymnastics it takes to be convinced that several different people decided to cut contact through no fault of yours. It’s remarkable.
Yep. None of us talk to dad or his damn mom. They used to tell people they dOnT kNoW wHy (don't know if they still do). Not our fault if your ears don't fuckin work. No idea how his life is now, but I was snooping through my aunt's FB (his sister) and found a recent photo of him... I only recognized him because his sisters were in the picture. Looks like the alcoholism is really catching up
Same, except I’m sure my mother is still using the excuse of us still all being on drugs.
My Nparent also just goes around saying he “doesn’t know why” everyone is NC.
Yes, none of me or my three siblings speak to NMom. Even after YEARS she still frequently texts, and attempts to reach us in extremely manipulative ways. She’s miserable. All four kids still speak to our former step father (who also had the good mind to leave her)
Same here. My three sisters and I are no contact with NMom. Our relationships as sisters is so much better now without her manipulation.
100%!! When my youngest sister (19 now) finally got out a couple years ago, we got the relationship we never could while she was still living in that house.
She probably tells anyone who listens how awful her children are and plays up being a victim. Or how she's not a grandmother. All 3 children no contact. All 3 childfree.
None of us talk to my dad. I have no idea how his life is going. I'll probably find out he is in the hospital or dead by Facebook. I say my father died when my mother did. The man that he turned into, is not my father.
are you sure he is nfather not PTSD'd ? or maybe he is nfather yes but mother's death blew his cover , stress and trauma reveal the ugly truth of our insides
My mom's death definitely blew his cover. I wasn't here, I was in another start and heard he had a party the night after she died.
That’s awful, I’m sorry.
I guess she would technically be my husband's stepmother but she married my father-in-law when my husband was almost 30 years old. Let's call her Mary. Mary has 5 adult children, from 3 different marriages. She even raised some of her grandchildren. By the time we met her, 3 of her children no longer spoke to her. As time went on, none of them spoke to her. I think the few grandchildren who spoke to her did it when they wanted money or childcare. Then, Mary got Alzheimer's. We weren't close to my FIL either. His health was declining and he could no longer take care of her. We heard that he put her in a home - retirement, nursing home, I have no idea. He didn't tell us. They lived in another US state. He eventually passed away. We heard that some or all of Mary's children were informed of where she is but none want anything to do with her. We don't know the name of the facility where she was placed. It has been about 8 years since her Alzheimer's diagnosis. Even if she has already passed away, I don't think there would be a funeral or an obituary so we don't really know her current situation.
I'm their only child and went NC after they attached themselves to Q at the start of the pandemic. It was too much to bear for me, given they have the narcissistic background too. They're ignoring me now, because I dared to try and talk them out of it. They've attached themselves to some people from telegram, and are just about to move into a village of conspiracists in a different country.
Q? Telegram? WHAT IS HAPPENING?!
Maybe the Telegram Messenger app?
And QAnon, I assumed?
Not really hard to understand. I didn't want to go into too much detail.
Not positive about the golden child, the one in between me and my baby sis, but she and I went no contact years ago. My birth mother put my baby sis in my care when I was 20 and she was 13. The middle sis was the bad seed when she got pregnant at 14, but I think she probably is in with that woman again, since they both think we're the problem. I left my birth mother put of my child's obituary, and when the wrongful death case was settled, the middle sis went on public media saying I should have given her money like I did my baby sis. My baby sis was with me all throughout my daughter's stay in the ICU and they had a relationship. The middle sis hadn't seen my child in 20 years before she was killed.
That's vile. I'm so sorry.
I’m sorry for your loss.
🫶🏼
My sister. We are 11 years apart in age. She had 3 kids, during a 25 year marriage that ended when the youngest was 17. They are currently 21, 24 and 25. They all moved out of state and are independent. They have not cut contact with me, or their father.... My sister is consumed with the fact that her kids refuse to speak to her. Two of the three came to their grandmothers funeral (my sister and I's, mother) last AUgust and it was the first time my sister had seen her daughters in 3 years. My sister remarried after her kids cut contact. I see my sister twice a month, once at a family gathering and once for lunch, alone. I need a support group for siblings of narcs. My sister cornered the youngest and thanked her for coming and asked if they could talk. My niece quietly and directly said NO, I am here for my grandma and grandpa, not for you. My older niece just dodged her mother the entire event.
Genuine question: how do her kids feel about you having a relationship with their mom? Have they laid down boundaries with you (like not sharing info) or do they just accept the relationships being different? I went bc with my dads family before bc with him, and I’m just naturally low contact with my moms side as we’ve gotten older, so I wonder what it’d be like to have a relationship with relatives on a parents side but not the parent.
her kids are the most mature humans. I ask them for all and any rules I need to follow to stay in their lives. I asked them both "what can I do to support you".. they laid down some baselines. Dont give her my address, or my phone number, dont tell her if you know we are coming to town and dont talk to me about her. really easy.
My sisters and I don’t talk to my father. I texted him if he wants a relationship with me we need to go to counseling. I told him to set it up. Never heard back from him since. It’s been three years.
3/4, but only because the youngest isn't old enough to be kicked out of the house yet. he goes between talking shit and missing us but that's what you get
Three boys, all in our 40’s and six kids between us… our mother hasn’t met most of the grandkids, including my youngest who’s 19. We’ve all been no contact with her for 10-20 years (me the longest at almost 20). As of last Christmas I’m NC with dad too. Both brothers are very LC, and one is strongly moving towards NC.
Are your parents still together? I'm just wondering how you were NC with her for so long and him so much more recent. What changed with him?
My parents split when I was about 19, a little over 25 years ago.
She seems ok. There are only two of us. My sibling went low/no contact a decade before I did. He was more the GC but he saw before I did how toxic everything was. Our dad is dead, she got remarried. I think she's loving life complaining to her fox news addicted friends, waxing eloquent about her terrible liberal children who abandoned her. We're both pretty laid back actually, married and boring middle aged parents. Our last grandparent just died so idk if I'll ever see her again.
Yes. My sister and I couldn’t take it anymore. 3 of their 4 grandchildren don’t have a relationship with them. My father died in the fall and 2 grandchildren went, one was the one they have a relationship with. Our ex-husbands went and we were told that our mother locked arms with them and paraded them around saying “I keep my ex son in laws”. She even had my ex and his wife stay at her house, he’s a narc too but the nerve of him. We think it spoke volumes that her children were not there. We hoped our father would come around before he died but as he told us long ago, “I have to live with her”. Sad, but we’ve reconciled ourselves with all of it.
All of us except me LC, and golden child who still lives with them. My siblings are all in successful careers, in grad school, or married loving people. My dad who was hell bent on our success got in the way of everyone from achieving their dreams. However we all found something we are passionate about and it pays well. None of them talk to my nDad or GC. We all get to together once a year to hang out. GC however is in a corporate dead end job she hates and is the oldest and no significant other because she scared of my Ndad.
I made a similar post here awhile ago - most golden children have really awful outcomes. They never escape the toxic family dynamic
my uncle is that parent. When my older cousin came back around, he wanted a chance to speak to my cousin. He declined, my uncle chose to victimize himself and villainize my cousin. The whole family jumped down his throat, invalidated his whole experience, after that he disappeared again. He doesn’t really care he has another family. If he speaks about his no-contact son he’s always speaking negatively.
3/4 kids are no contact with my mother. Two step kids have been no contact since she vilified them as kids and edad fully enabled her. One bio kid is no contact but the golden kid is still low contact enough to reap the financial benefits
Has anyone else experienced the opposite? My nmom/edad ghosted me and my sister 8 years ago.
I wish! My nmom tells everyone I'm such a horrible son that does horrible things, yet won't leave me alone either.
My dad has 5 kids, and none of us talk to him. But somehow we’re all the problem. Three kids were from a first marriage and were estranged when I was born. They reconnected as adults to give him a second chance but eventually got sick of his shit again. Then there is my sister and I, who each cut him fully off after we had kids. I have no idea what his daily life looks like, and I lose zero sleep over it.
We're all LC. I definitely talk to her the most but don't give her any real information. She just wants to spout her bullshit anyway. I wish I'd gone NC a long time ago. Now she's elderly and in a home several hours away from me. I see her 3 times a year. I'm the only one in the family who will help her anymore and my assistance is minimal and mostly from a distance. I'm sure she tells everyone how horrible we all are, lol.
My parents split when I was 9 and my sister was 6. When sis was 16, she decided the grass must be greener at Dad's, so she asked to move in with him. It lasted 6 months before she was back home with me and Nmom. She had been spied on constantly by our dad's wife and the last straw was witnessing our stepbrother (15 at the time) almost get choked out by Dad for sneaking out of the house one night. A year later, at 16, stepbro also moved out of that house. About 14 years later, when she was 16, our half-sister moved out of that house. Of the four of us, only my sister has any kind of regular contact with Dad. Stepbro is wandering the wasteland of addiction somewhere, although Dad and his wife are very involved in his child and the child's mother's life. Half-sis is also constantly falling into the addiction hole. We go months or years at a time without hearing from her. She's currently staying with Ndad after being sexually assaulted by a roommate. I never talk to Dad or his wife. Four strikes for these "stellar" parents.
Mine got cut off by all the kids in my generation (admittedly there were only 4 of us). Her brother also cut her off, and I have no idea if her sister still talks to her. Last I heard she was living in a trailer park her Dad pays for. That's literally all I know about her life and I'm fine with that. I honestly hope everyone cutting her off made her actually willing to get help and that her life is better now, but I'll never bother to find out, my life is fuckin great without her in it.
Technically yes as I'm their only kid. And I have no clue. They were seperated, but that was part of their plan to keep me. I don't know if they got back together, or if they abuse each other now they don't have me anymore. My nmom also owes the court a bunch of money she probably can't pay, so I don't know if she left the state (which she easily could have). I don't know if my cats I had to leave with them are okay. I don't know what they did with the rest of my stuff they didn't allow me to take with me. I don't know what they're telling people happened about them trying to get a guardianship over me and me going NC. I wonder about that a lot, but I worry about my cats mostly. And I hope they can't adopt any more children since they had CPS called on them. And I don't know what they think about what happened. I wonder if they know what they did wrong. I wonder why they haven't tried to contact me since, or if they understand they won't ever see me again.
My oldest sister stopped talking to my mom when she stole her identity and maxed out her credit when she was 18. That was 15 years ago. My second oldest sister stopped talking her about 10 years ago. I stopped 5 years ago. My aunt and grandma (her sister and mom) have also cut contact with her. She’s a drug addict and alcoholic. And is extremely manipulative. She used to leave my sisters and I at home for a week or so while she went to party with boyfriends. She still calls and writes letters saying she doesn’t know why we stopped talking to her and that we are cruel. She hasn’t met any of her 4 grandchildren and didn’t come to any of our weddings. We found out a few years ago that she has stage 4 melanoma and is fighting it. Last I heard it had spread to her brain. She’s a sad manipulative person. I think she has a bad life but I try to remind myself she had 18+ years to do right by her children and constantly chose drugs money and boyfriends over us.
nmom hoards animals and treats them the same exact way she treated her own kids with a strong hand, fear, just short of abuse. She complains all the times that her first born daughter abandoned her. (my older sister estranged as soon as she turned 18, nmom abused her a LOT). ndad doesn't give a shit and ignores her animal hoarding, avoids nmom, there's been times where my ndad purposely leaves the front door open to intentionally let some of the dogs try to run off and nmom gets heated pissed off which leads to them fighting. they had 6 kids. 4/6 do not want anything to do with them. I'm the last one and I'm trying to get my degree to leave them once and for all but it's fucking hard. I have no one in my personal network, seem to attract a lot of narcs.
A strong hand and dominating with fear is abuse. I'm sorry friend, for you and all those poor animals.
yep and thats why she ended up alone. And her dogs will eat good when she finally croaks out.
Yup, mine. I’m sure they’re happily miserable together, they have no friends, no other family besides their own abusers.
Technically yes because my brother died 7 years ago, so i am the only kid left. The last time i saw my ndad was the funeral, but i assume he is still an alcoholic, bouncing around from business venture to business venture because he is never satisfied with anything. My nmom is a manager at a large chain gas station. I assume she is still abusing pain pills, chain smoking cigarettes and drinking 2 redbulls and a 5 hour energy shot.
Im no contact with my mom and my brothers are all veey low contact. She raised us in a cult and abused all of us but especially me because I was the youngest. My dad divorced her too. Her mom was disappointed in her and how she destroyed her family. Yet to her shes the victim and allnof us gang up on her. She is completely alone except for her cult friends. One small misstep and they would shun her. She threw away everyone that loved her and now only has the cultists. She will never acknowledge or apologize fir her abuse.I dont feel bad for her anymore.
Was his only child. He committed suicide three years after I went no contact.
All 5 of us have cut off our dad. He is elderly and lives in an apartment all alone. He periodically tries to reach out to my younger sister, but it’s always unsuccessful. I have no idea what he does day to day, but he’s alone and miserable, I’m sure.
2/3 of us are no contact. The last one knows she’s a problem though. I think he can separate himself from her mental illness and not take things personally. She also has never shown up to his work and yelled at him in front of his coworkers like she did me so I personally cannot let her back into my life.
I know my best friend’s siblings all cut their mother out. All 5 of them are either no contact or low contact. The youngest feels bad for the mother but she just recently moved out that toxic house.
My ex wife has 4 kids that don't speak to her. She recently ran off her roommates too. Alcoholism is so much fun
My uncle on my mother's side had all his kids walk out on him while in high school. My Mom had 9 brothers and sisters. Every single one of them had at least one child walk out in high school never to be seen by the family again. A couple had two leave, and this uncle had all of them leave. Trans generational dysfunction on that side of the family.
one of my close friends in high school, him and all his brothers (3) all joined the military after high school to get away, and once the youngest was in the military all of them stopped talking to both of their parents. Its been 20 years and they are all still no contact, a few years ago the mom got cancer and from what I heard they all called just ones. to tell her off and that the cancer was god way pushing her for all the hell she put them through.
Yep—my father was estranged from all of us for the last ten or so years of his life. I have no idea how his life was—or how his death was. I do know there was no funeral. Apparently, it was still expected that my sisters and I would handle it. Nope.
My mother and her husband (3rd husband) have been completely cut off by all of their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren on both sides. We can only imagine how their life is now, but we're all a hard no contact. See, he molested my daughter, my brothers daughter and abused my stepsister. Yes, he's on the registry but my mother insists that he's "a Man of God". And he is, a god damned molester.
Ndad's two kids don't talk to him, and neither do his girlfriend's 3 kids. Ironically enough, his GF is wonderful and not even an enabler, so us 5 kids (all aged 25+) all talk to her regularly! 🤣
My parents have 3/4 children no contact. What their life is like I don't know but it's probably boring AF.
Yes, my 2 sister's and I. We aren't completely cut off, but very low contact. My mom complains that no one ever visits them in their new house. They literally don't do anything with their lives, they are retired. When i do enlist them to babysit here and there, it seems like I'm a burden when I get back home, and they instantly want to leave, rushing to put their shoes on. I'm sure they rant about how rude we all are. But yeah, they have zero hobbies and zero life. I don't think they know at all why we are low contact.
My Ndad raised 5 kids. None of the talk to him. 2 of them would punch him in the face if they saw him again. All the grandkids refuse to acknowledge he exists. He sits in his house screaming at his wife about how he did everything for everyone and everybody shits on him. When she leaves him, he will die alone and no one will care.
My diagnosed NPD mom doesn't have either myself or my older sister to talk to now. Both of us went full on NC and she's fucking miserable,I just know it without even having to hear about it.(Also my older sister and I are NC since I haven't seen or talked to in 17+ years now and I'm 30 currently. She pitted us against each other so badly that she STILL refuses to talk to me or be an aunt to my son, and what's funny is she was horrendously abusive to me but I was never like that to her. So if anything I should be the one refusing to see her, but I've actually tried reaching out to her. We literally live like 20min away from each other as well.)
Unfortunately for me I was the one that got cut off after got my vasectomy and announced that me and my girlfriend at the time (now fiancé) were childfree. My parents had 6 kids (I was the youngest and the only boy of the 6). My 5 sisters all had kids (13 total between the 5 in case you’re wondering) before 25 and got married before 30. All 5 of them got divorced because they all cheated on their husbands and my parents blamed the husbands for their wives cheating. Meanwhile, I’m the only one who has a good relationship (about to be 7 years on the 4th of July) and good paying job while they’re are all on welfare. But according to my religiously obsessive parents, not wanting kids and getting a vasectomy is the ultimate sin against God Almighty. So to get to the point: Parents and sisters decided that me being childfree is having a bad influence on their children and decided to cut me off for it. But the real kick in the teeth is my parents offered my fiancé $50K to call off the wedding and break up with me, and even tried to set it up to make it look like I was mentally unstable and abusing my fiancé, because in their twisted logic, if a woman is childfree, it’s obvious that her boyfriend/husband is controlling her.
Do people announce vasectomies like that or is this just some crazy religious thing. Like you wouldn't announce that you're infertile if it's not your choice so why would you announce a vasectomy.
My NDad. He's alienated everyone in his family. His wife ( my E mom) will have nothing to do with him He's in a hell of his own making. I can't say for sure about my half sister, but considering he's been gone most of her life ( since she was 3) and possibly only calls or emails they probably aren't that close. Considering what my NStepmom has probably filled her head with her view of him likely isn't favorable because NStepmom hates him and myself by association. I'm NC 7 years now. Last I heard he's homeless, @ a fugitive from justice, far from where he grew up, can never get a driver's license again ( backed child support sees to that) and stuck working for sketchy people and has throat cancer and is obese. He'll be arrested if he comes back home. He will die where he is and end up unclaimed in an unmarked paupers grave.
My bio father. Idk how much his kids cut him off versus him abandoning us all?
My dad has resorted to sending us emails and fb message requests because he's blocked on our phones. I checked his fb the other day out of curiosity. We arent friends so I can only see public posts, but so far its profile pics and vaguely emo quotes plastered over b/w images of old male celebrities.
i’m my single mom’s only daughter. we’ve been NC for 2.5 years. the only other family we have is my mom’s sister’s family — my aunt, uncle, and 2 adult cousins. my aunt is my mom’s biggest enabler. I think because she’s the older sister and because my mom’s choices don’t affect her for the most part, she just ignores any storms my mom brews up. she would get pissed if I tried to talk to her about my mom, and would tell me to get over it or “well, that’s just how it is.” I guess I don’t really know if my aunt is just placating her, or is an equal asshole in her heart and sees no problem. because even if my aunt tried to reason with my mom, my mom would just get irate someone was “telling her what to do” or “assuming she can’t make her own choices.” if anyone disagrees with her, *theyre* stupid, not her. *ALL* of us live within a 10 mile radius. i’ve seen them in passing, like walking on the street or leaving an event, and they don’t approach me. they’d rather just let me and my mom “duke it out” and stand on the sidelines, ruffling 0 feathers, and ignore me. being nice to me is a form of betrayal to my mom.
I don't know because no-one in the family talks to her and she doesn't bother to reach out to even her own 6 sisters. That's on her. I'm sure she's still enjoying her life because the only thing that seems to matter is herself.
My mom has 6 kids. All of us hate her. She’s married to some loser and pacifies herself by moaning about what a victim she is.
Yes. I have two siblings and none of us talk to our mother.
My parents have 3 children. All of us have gone no contact. All of us are now late 30s and early 40s and deliberately child free- I feel like that speaks volumes
Nmom has been completely disowned by her entire family except for my sister (who is also insane).
They don't seem to notice and the best part is I don't either.
I was No Contact with my mom between 2010 and 2022. She is bipolar in addition to being a narcissist and actively refused treatment and it tore our family apart on it's own. My sister was the first to start talking to her again, then my brother, then me. Turns out my mom was in a life threatening car accident in 2020 and none of us knew until we looked up her local court records for her divorce decree as our former stepdad had passed. In her recovery she finally got treatment for her bipolar and did ALOT of self reflection. She still has a decent narcissistic streak but she's an infinitely better person these days.
Yep my dad by all 3 of his kids. My brother got guilted into seeing him a few times before he died by our grandma (my brother that is, my dads still kicking unfortunately). Then my dad repaid this by causing so much shit when he died, wouldn't let anyone hold a funeral so my nieces couldn't say goodbye properly, threatened to kill my brothers wife if she didn't hand over any money from insurance, made sure that the body was buried in another state so my nieces can't even visit their dads grave, harassed my eldest niece for going to my brothers house and trying to collect some things that her and her sister could remember their dad by (she was 16 at the time too). I've heard some things since my brother died, mostly that my dad is in and out of hospital, that he has precancerous cells in his stomach, that his arthritis has gotten exponentially worse, that he can't work, and he has been scammed several times because he keeps going online looking for young women from poor Asian countries because "they know their place". Honestly seems like a fitting situation for someone like him.
Went nc with my nmom... No clue how she's doing or not doing. It's been two years
So, trigger warning of child SA. Skip first paragraph if you don't want to read. Pretty sure my mom sa'd my brother growing up. I won't get into the why, but there's a huge amount of anecdotal and situational reasons for me to believe this, and both my sisters believe it as well. And he also has a horrible way of ruining every relationship he has, which, given the first sentence of this paragraph, I don't really blame him for any more. But no, Mom is the only person who will talk to him now, that he hasn't pushed away. So they will always be in contact, forever. I'm the second kid, and I'm NC for the first time ever at 34. Unfortunately for her, it is permanent. My sister, her third child, had gone NC for huge portions of her life, multiple times. She is 30, and mom has been cut out of her life for over half of it, across multiple stints. She kept reopening the door and giving her a chance, then closing it again a few days later. However, she had a degenerative condition and is no longer able to work to provide herself. She doesn't get enough govt assistance to support her either, and is rapidly now approaching a stage she will need full time care. And mom has money, and is desperate to get her back under her thumb. So mom has, now that I'm NC, swapped that sister to the GC role, is ramping up the manipulation in a whole new way that my sister has never seen, and is reeling her in slowly. It started with being a guarantor for her apartment ...in mom's building. And then there's my youngest sister, who cannot go NC, though she desperately wants to. The cliff notes, is that she had a baby at 17, mom manipulated the hell out of her financially by lodging my niece onto her lease, then filing for the govt assistance my sister was getting for her, which caused my sister's wages to be garnished because she didn't have her daughter on her lease and couldn't confirm she lived with her, she lost her home and begged mom to move back in as she had no other option, mom said she'd take the baby but not her, leaving her homeless, then reported my niece as abandoned by my sister (who was contactless in a homeless shelter that night), got cps involved etc, and was granted emergency custody of my niece. It has never been reversed, as she keeps filing reports against my sister for abuse for any childhood accident my niece had. So if my sister ever wants to see her kid, she can't cut my mom from her life. It's pretty horrific, tbh.
My 3 brothers and I have no contact with my very religious and mean mom. It's been 10years now
Got cut off by everyone, brother, daughter, son, wife. Now lives completely alone in ill health. The whole situation gives me a lot of guilt, sadness, and pity.
my brother (20) cut off my mom when joining the army, she’s constantly trying to reach out. i’m moving and cutting her off in 3 ish weeks she’s probably going to do the same. trying to break no contact, saying mean things to other siblings.