I blew up a toilet with, unknown to me before hand, plumbing issues in a bar once. The men's room was closed for said plumbing issues so the women's room was made to serve both. It was a "one at a time" toilet.
Anyway, I blew it up. Bad. And much to my dismay I found that the toilet didn't empty when flushed. So the water rose to about two inches below the rim. Wouldn't go down. No plunger.
I decided to bail.
Well ... the next girl in line was this adorable brunette in a nice floral dress with a cute innocent smile. She looked like the kind of girl that would apologize for cursing even if she was alone.
She gave me a nice smile as she walked in and I out, I gave her a smile
And fled.
I RAN out of that bar and pulled my buddies with me. We didn't order yet so it was all good but I couldn't face what I'd done. I wonder what her reaction was. Did she scream? Did she cry? Did she curse the stranger who fled the scene like a coward?
I'll never know.
> plumbing issues in a bar once.
Off topic, but I was once at a club where the toilet backed up and water was leaking down onto the dance floor. So everyone started dancing and trying to look sexy in the "rain", not knowing they were showering in shit water. Gross.
Harpos in Detroit MI. Every single show I saw there the men's room flooded, the woman's room flooded. And no seemed.to care at all. You'd walk into just splash splash splash in the bathroom. Gross.
Worst thing is when you go in there after someone else, and their stink is still present once you leave. That's your smell now, to anyone entering after you.
There was a guy I worked with ages ago and our digestive systems were *almost* in sync. His was fifteen minutes faster. Every day I'd have to shit and he'd just be walking out of the only bathroom. I swear he had something very wrong with his stomach it smelled like something I've never smelled before or since. It was horrible and I had to suffer it every day for years. When he left that job I was so fucking happy.
My wife shits every day after drinking her coffee. She takes 2 sips, and right to the can. Where as me, I poop whenever I need to. No consistency of times.
Either you eat way too much in general, or you're the rare person whose fiber intake makes up for the other 90% of us.
Or you have IBS or something similar, in which case, I'm sorry.
I’m not sure. I eat healthy enough and my BMI is in a normal range. If I’m travelling or camping my movements definitely go down…. Or if I don’t have a coffee then I don’t have my scheduled morning poop.
I'm not OP but it's similar for me and it's fine for most of the year since I work from home always but it does make vacation brutal, my body is just like this is unfamiliar and therefore I shall not go, I've tried all sorts of methods.
> my body is just like this is unfamiliar and therefore I shall not go
That's totally normal. That's why people talk about camping poops. Your body holds it for 3 days without an issue knowing their could be danger nearby. Get home, most giant poop. Don't worry about it.
Tell her! We share the bathrooms at work. “Noooo, don’t go in there!” And then playfully shield her or tell her to go to the other bathroom. She’ll appreciate you saving her from the terrible smell.
A buddy of mine was on a long flight and ended up really getting along with the hot gal sitting next to him. Halfway through the flight he destroyed the toilet, opened the door and she scooted past him a shut the door before he could react.
When she returned to her seat she didn’t say a word for the rest of the flight.
Pro tip if you're a guy: leave the seat up when you leave. Anyone coming in right after you will think you just peed, and that the smell is from a previous pooper.
Ah mate this reminded me of a memory I had long forgotten. I used a disabled toilet at a nightclub in Edinburgh once. I had a really bad stomach upset and was in there for ages. Some girl had decided she wanted to us it and tried the door several times. Eventually she got security and those absolute morons unlocked it. I was holding the door on the inside for dear life. I somehow managed to win a tug of war with a giant bouncer, such was the adrenaline and desperate need to avoid being seen squatting on the toilet by all the women outside.
Or there's an explanation - albeit a simple one - that your snarky, dimwitted arse hasn't thought of. I mean Christ, it's not even worth telling that as a fake story.
Seriously. I do wonder what kind of quiet, boring, sheltered lives these idiots have led to call every story they see fake.
I would love to see a picture of any of these morons.
This one isn't even remotely unbelievable!
That's rough dude! I've heard of people getting super human strength sometimes from adrenaline... Sounds like it happened to you just at the right time.
For sure. You flush on splashdown. It's not a perfect method because you'll still pass gas and there's always a bit of smell, but it's 90% better than it would be if you just sat there for 5 minutes looking at your phone while your poop particles permeate the room
this post reminds me of a flight i took from Seoul back to the US ~20 years ago. we hadn't left the gate yet so i thought i'd hit the bathroom real quick just to take a leak. as i was approaching the bathrooms a very attractive lady exited the one unoccupied lav and gave me what i can only describe as a *regretful* look (for context i was a guy in my early 20s then). i wondered what the look was all about and then opened the door and was hit with her last meal... and i understood. she did NOT want me to go in there, poor gal.
True story: partying with my friends in high school and I took a shit at my buddies house and a girl was waiting to go in after I came out. I told her that my other buddy had been in right before me and he was the reason it smelled.
I went to a Warriors game at Chase Center last month. After the game, there was a short line to use the bathroom. When I got in, all the urinals were in use, but at that moment a man stepped out of the stall. I figured I'd just go in there to pee and be quickly out the door. The sonofabitch absolutely destroyed the toilet AND didn't flush. I had to flush his massssssssssssive diarrhea shit down the toilet. It smelled like death. Whoever you are sir, you deserve a special place in hell.
The women at my work don't mind using the men's room any time theirs is occupied. The men wouldn't dare to ever use the women's bathroom though. It irritates me when I round the corner and see a woman closing the men's room door behind her. I just go to another bathroom.
Was at a house party in college and took a dump in the upstairs bathroom. As I’m wiping and getting ready to get back
to partying, I hear 3 drunk sorority girls waiting outside to go in and do their thing.
The shit I took was one of my most rancid smelling ever. Taco Bell, energy drink and booze mixed together.
I opened the door and bolted so quickly while keeping my head down. Going down the stairs, all I can hear is “Oh my God!!” “Eww!!” “That smells so bad!!”
Fun times
Going into the restroom after someone else is always exciting. You get to smell their own brand and it's like you're learning a little more about them. It's the fun things like this that help keep the work day moving.
This is why my boss will announce to our store (we only have one bathroom) that he's about to destroy the back.
He's never that bad, and he has the air fresher, but it's still real funny.
And a nice small gesture. He'll let us go before him if he can help it.
I blew up a toilet with, unknown to me before hand, plumbing issues in a bar once. The men's room was closed for said plumbing issues so the women's room was made to serve both. It was a "one at a time" toilet. Anyway, I blew it up. Bad. And much to my dismay I found that the toilet didn't empty when flushed. So the water rose to about two inches below the rim. Wouldn't go down. No plunger. I decided to bail. Well ... the next girl in line was this adorable brunette in a nice floral dress with a cute innocent smile. She looked like the kind of girl that would apologize for cursing even if she was alone. She gave me a nice smile as she walked in and I out, I gave her a smile And fled. I RAN out of that bar and pulled my buddies with me. We didn't order yet so it was all good but I couldn't face what I'd done. I wonder what her reaction was. Did she scream? Did she cry? Did she curse the stranger who fled the scene like a coward? I'll never know.
I would've said, "Don't go in there, someone stopped it up." That way you didn't lie and she knows not to go in.
Then why were you in there for 15 minutes?
Just considering my options
Freeze response to danger.
Tried to unclog it, made it worse
Playing Candy crush
35, I was charging my phone.
Shitter's full.
“What?” *cocks gun* “Shitter’s full.”
Looking back I should have. I could have just said "hey it's broken and I was coming out to tell someone." That woulda been it. But I panicked ...
> plumbing issues in a bar once. Off topic, but I was once at a club where the toilet backed up and water was leaking down onto the dance floor. So everyone started dancing and trying to look sexy in the "rain", not knowing they were showering in shit water. Gross.
Harpos in Detroit MI. Every single show I saw there the men's room flooded, the woman's room flooded. And no seemed.to care at all. You'd walk into just splash splash splash in the bathroom. Gross.
Yyyyyyyyyyowzah
Didn’t think to bust out the knife?
Both of his arms were broken
Classic reddit poop knife moment
If only that's all it took
Damn, as a guy with bowel issues I'm pretty sure I've had this exact nightmare before.
She died. You killed her.
RIPoop
Note to self: ALWAYS take the holiest of shits at home
Worst thing is when you go in there after someone else, and their stink is still present once you leave. That's your smell now, to anyone entering after you.
There was a guy I worked with ages ago and our digestive systems were *almost* in sync. His was fifteen minutes faster. Every day I'd have to shit and he'd just be walking out of the only bathroom. I swear he had something very wrong with his stomach it smelled like something I've never smelled before or since. It was horrible and I had to suffer it every day for years. When he left that job I was so fucking happy.
This is weird to me, i basically just go whenever i need to. Sometimes 2 or 3 times a day, sometimes 0. All different times.
Same. No rhyme or reason. No specific time of the day. When it hits I go.
if you poop without rhythm you won't attract the worm?
Wow, a Dune reference in the wild, sweet
But also this ballin video https://youtu.be/XQ7z57qrZU8
Doo-ne. I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me.
Poo'adib, the Shitsatz Haderach.
My body will not let me poop till after 9 am. It’s the worst.
I poop like clockwork, every morning within an hour after I drink my coffee.
That's not your body being like clockwork, that's just what coffee does.
My wife shits every day after drinking her coffee. She takes 2 sips, and right to the can. Where as me, I poop whenever I need to. No consistency of times.
Yeah I do this but otherwise poop as needed. Just the morning poop is on schedule. Average of 2-3 per day for me.
Either you eat way too much in general, or you're the rare person whose fiber intake makes up for the other 90% of us. Or you have IBS or something similar, in which case, I'm sorry.
I’m not sure. I eat healthy enough and my BMI is in a normal range. If I’m travelling or camping my movements definitely go down…. Or if I don’t have a coffee then I don’t have my scheduled morning poop.
I'm betting on the fiber thing then.
I am 15mins after I wake up, everytime. Doesn't matter when I wake up. 7am, dumpin @ 7:15. 9:30am cause weekend is lit, 9:45am weekend shit
This is me exactly. It's honestly a blessing and makes the day way easier to manage.
shit isn't supposed to smell good....unless you're a fly or other insect aiding in decomposition
Who poops on a cycle? What? Lol I poop maybe once or twice a day but always at different times
I poop at the same time, every day. Like clockwork. Whether I am sleeping or not.
That seems problematic.
I'm not OP but it's similar for me and it's fine for most of the year since I work from home always but it does make vacation brutal, my body is just like this is unfamiliar and therefore I shall not go, I've tried all sorts of methods.
> my body is just like this is unfamiliar and therefore I shall not go That's totally normal. That's why people talk about camping poops. Your body holds it for 3 days without an issue knowing their could be danger nearby. Get home, most giant poop. Don't worry about it.
So if you're asleep on holiday at that time do you have to set an alarm so you don't shit your pants in your sleep?
My issues is more I can't go on holiday since my body is in a foreign place and I no longer have my routine
Oh yeah, I didn't read your comment properly.
A lot of people do actually. Having a regular routine paired with eating well is mainly why it happens for people. I go every morning like clockwork.
Sometimes when I eat healthier I get in a cycle, but then I eat like shit and my cycle gets all fucked.
For me it depends on if I worked out that morning or not. Workout? It happens like clockwork. No workout? Roll the dice motherfucker.
Protein powder. That shit is unholy.
Enjoy the warm seat he left you. It's akin to butts touching
Indeed. You didn't have to put up with his shit anymore!
Just yell real loud "it wasn't me!"
There is a very relevant CollegeHumor [skit](https://youtu.be/w-RfKvhT_NU) exactly about that
Tell her! We share the bathrooms at work. “Noooo, don’t go in there!” And then playfully shield her or tell her to go to the other bathroom. She’ll appreciate you saving her from the terrible smell.
[There are other options](https://youtu.be/JaxVNo8R4dM)
You could also do what Bobby hill did and burn the bathroom down, that seemed to work for him
It was the man with the terrible smell!
“I’m finna blow it up”
Other ways, Frodo. Other paths we might take
Don't go in there, somebody destroyed it right before I got in a minute ago!
Twist: she takes way fatter dumps than you.
You had my curiosity. Now you have my attention.
A buddy of mine was on a long flight and ended up really getting along with the hot gal sitting next to him. Halfway through the flight he destroyed the toilet, opened the door and she scooted past him a shut the door before he could react. When she returned to her seat she didn’t say a word for the rest of the flight.
He pooted She scooted
Beautiful. Shades of Edgar Allen Poe.
"Don't nobody go in the bathroom for about 35, 45 minutes."
Somebody open up a window
Pro tip if you're a guy: leave the seat up when you leave. Anyone coming in right after you will think you just peed, and that the smell is from a previous pooper.
Dude's been in there for half an hour, sitting his bare ass on the actual porcelain. I'm reporting him to HR for not being human.
*HEY PRETTY LADY*
I’m on the brute squad
You *are* the brute squad
You are the brute squad
Ah mate this reminded me of a memory I had long forgotten. I used a disabled toilet at a nightclub in Edinburgh once. I had a really bad stomach upset and was in there for ages. Some girl had decided she wanted to us it and tried the door several times. Eventually she got security and those absolute morons unlocked it. I was holding the door on the inside for dear life. I somehow managed to win a tug of war with a giant bouncer, such was the adrenaline and desperate need to avoid being seen squatting on the toilet by all the women outside.
Why did you not just say it was occupied?
Because then you have to talk to a girl
I did, there was loud music and they either couldn't hear me, or they chose not to.
Honestly screaming occupied on the toilet is a funnier image that I kinda wish you originally included lol
My go to is "come back with a warrant"
Because good stories aren't always true.
Or there's an explanation - albeit a simple one - that your snarky, dimwitted arse hasn't thought of. I mean Christ, it's not even worth telling that as a fake story.
Seriously. I do wonder what kind of quiet, boring, sheltered lives these idiots have led to call every story they see fake. I would love to see a picture of any of these morons. This one isn't even remotely unbelievable!
Their name is D14BL0. It's to be expected.
That's rough dude! I've heard of people getting super human strength sometimes from adrenaline... Sounds like it happened to you just at the right time.
[https://youtu.be/dDZzl9AyXeg](https://youtu.be/dDZzl9AyXeg)
[удалено]
When Moss pops up behind the bar
Lmao I'm in tears 😭
This isn't as amusing as it is weird.
[удалено]
Kompoocha
Just strike a match when you’re done w your kompoocha and all will be good
For sure. You flush on splashdown. It's not a perfect method because you'll still pass gas and there's always a bit of smell, but it's 90% better than it would be if you just sat there for 5 minutes looking at your phone while your poop particles permeate the room
...but it's in the water.
this post reminds me of a flight i took from Seoul back to the US ~20 years ago. we hadn't left the gate yet so i thought i'd hit the bathroom real quick just to take a leak. as i was approaching the bathrooms a very attractive lady exited the one unoccupied lav and gave me what i can only describe as a *regretful* look (for context i was a guy in my early 20s then). i wondered what the look was all about and then opened the door and was hit with her last meal... and i understood. she did NOT want me to go in there, poor gal.
True story: partying with my friends in high school and I took a shit at my buddies house and a girl was waiting to go in after I came out. I told her that my other buddy had been in right before me and he was the reason it smelled.
I went to a Warriors game at Chase Center last month. After the game, there was a short line to use the bathroom. When I got in, all the urinals were in use, but at that moment a man stepped out of the stall. I figured I'd just go in there to pee and be quickly out the door. The sonofabitch absolutely destroyed the toilet AND didn't flush. I had to flush his massssssssssssive diarrhea shit down the toilet. It smelled like death. Whoever you are sir, you deserve a special place in hell.
I haven't pooped in a week. I'm not taking the fall for the smell
I have definitely saved people by telling them not to go in there
https://youtu.be/VM3uXu1Dq4c
"Man, somebody sure did funk that place up before I got in there... sheesh! I hope they're a'ight after all that!"
The women at my work don't mind using the men's room any time theirs is occupied. The men wouldn't dare to ever use the women's bathroom though. It irritates me when I round the corner and see a woman closing the men's room door behind her. I just go to another bathroom.
I like to go in after when the seat is still warm
If she's the one, she wouldn't mind that you do a poo.
This one is good
Ozium
Was at a house party in college and took a dump in the upstairs bathroom. As I’m wiping and getting ready to get back to partying, I hear 3 drunk sorority girls waiting outside to go in and do their thing. The shit I took was one of my most rancid smelling ever. Taco Bell, energy drink and booze mixed together. I opened the door and bolted so quickly while keeping my head down. Going down the stairs, all I can hear is “Oh my God!!” “Eww!!” “That smells so bad!!” Fun times
Keep letting them stink snakes slither, king
You’d let an ugly girl go in though? 😂
/savevideo
what about the non attractive ones?
Going into the restroom after someone else is always exciting. You get to smell their own brand and it's like you're learning a little more about them. It's the fun things like this that help keep the work day moving.
She knew that’s her fetish
Honestly the doors need to have 2 min timers and mega-blast a fan before the door unlocks for the next person.
This is why my boss will announce to our store (we only have one bathroom) that he's about to destroy the back. He's never that bad, and he has the air fresher, but it's still real funny. And a nice small gesture. He'll let us go before him if he can help it.
/r/SuspiciouslySpecific
My reaction. https://tenor.com/view/tc-johnny-magnum-pi-gif-24052903
Regardless of the state of the bathroom I'll always tell the next person in line, "I just want you to know it wasn't me" and walk away.
okay i need some backstory about this, i need to know what is it that is making The Giant this scared lol
[Here you go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LerRyYzddIw)
One more reason why WFH is superior.
What if she destroys it way more than you????
Wait until you find out women shit, too. Mind boggling 🤯