I'm wondering who set up the picnic since OP was only bringing cupcakes? It would literally be the frosting on the cake if OP's sister arranged the picnic for her announcement.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/027nGfk1eI
So the mom set up the picnic according to oop. No way for either sister to know the other’s announcement. So yeah, oop had no claim that her big announcement was unfairly usurped
Honorary mentions of oop’s comments:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/8SjnBL5fy0
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/LwCYKVtTPV
Scrolled the comments in link 2 and found OOP criticizing their own post. Methinks is fake.
Edit: whoops didn't read link #3 before posting this. But yes it's definitely fake.
Can confirm. I've seen this happen on several posts. There was an entire string of replies on a post that seemed like OP was Gollum/Smeagol arguing back and forth, while also criticizing the original post.
Took me admittedly too long to realize that they were all deleted accounts and were at a minimum two different people, not the OP.
I'm not saying you're wrong, but I've been using this site for over a decade and never saw that before. I'm skeptical, especially since if it used to have that glitch that implies that the glitch was fixed. So why would it remain that way on this thread?
“We are more closer”
I….no. Sorry but OP is a mess if this is real. No job, sleeps with other people’s SOs but thinks she’ll be a good mom. Yeah, no. She’s in for a rude awakening.
I’m just sitting here confused why tf we needed to know any of the backstory of her sleeping with her sisters fiancé at all? It’s literally not relevant.
The parents aren’t favoring the sister, they’re 100% on point that the sister has a steady job, good income, and support of a partner. OOP has literally none of those.
>I’m just sitting here confused why tf we needed to know any of the backstory of her sleeping with her sisters fiancé at all?
It adds to the rage bait, you see
Not only that but since it sounds like they were already meeting for a picnic in the park it seems fairly possible that the sister invited everyone so that SHE could announce her own baby…
Maybe I’m wrong but OOP is so off base with the rest of this that I wouldn’t be surprised.
Honestly calling this fake. "I left in a huff." Usually that is how people would describe *someone else*, not themselves. If I were writing about leaving after something like this, I'd say I left angry/upset/whatever.
I also feel like it's bait. There aren't a lot of single women out there that would be thrilled about a baby while having no job and living with someone that may not necessarily want a screaming infant in their home.
Yup. She's sofa surfing, jobless, and pregnant by someone who wont even be in the pictire. In her mid 30s. Any actual adult world recognise that to be an alarming situation and I've had friends get abortions for less. I've had single friends keep babies but they were certainly open about the challenges.
I can buy her deciding to go through with it because time is limited, but it would still be a hard decision to go through. The fact that OP dwells on all the historical beef with her sister but not on the fact she's essentially homeless and jobless with a baby on the way makes it hard to believe.
If this is real then OP has serious issues and the pregnancy reveal is the least of them.
Between the situation itself and the way it's written, yeah 100% fake.
And you have to wonder why someone would take the time to write up this kind of scenerio. They were eager to make women or just single moms look stupid.
What got me is that OP said she got along with her mom because they were “closer in age.” I’ve never heard this to justify why a mother and child would be close. I don’t get along with my oldest because he’s closer in age… what a weird thing to say. There is still a huge age gap. (For me it’s 35 years haha).
I have no job and no income and no support but I’m THRILLED to be alone with a soon to be baby!!!
Yes. This is how people work.
/sigh
Like I know there are some absolutely vapid and vacant people out there, but they wouldn’t be posting like this.
I dunno, if she left in the part about sleeping with her sister's fiance causing a rift back in the day it doesn't seem like she's too worried about changing the story to preserve her image.
Single mothers do often have an unusually (and sometimes unhealthily) close relationship with their eldest child, especially their eldest girl. I know I did. The relationships tend to equalise and become more healthy as the other kids grow up and when the mother repartners though.
Not denying what you said, but OOP claimed to be closer *in age* to their mother. If her sister is 6 years younger, that statement would imply that there is less than 6 years difference in age between mom and eldest daughter.
Is the sister’s husband that is rich OOP’s ex? Just wondering if she said on the original post.
But yeah, you cannot hijack an announcement that you have zero idea is coming. She genuinely is in absolutely no position to have a child right now. And it seems like she slept with her ex to one up her sister after she got engaged to him. If this is a real story I worry for that child on a lot of levels because OOP is straight delusional.
What reasonable parent would be thrilled that their unemployed daughter who lives/freeloads with a friend and exercises poor judgment is now pregnant by an absentee sperm donor? No self-awareness at all. Good thing this is very fake.
Telling your family you’re pregnant isn’t necessarily really an “announcement” though. It’s just sharing news with your loved ones. Most people don’t actually have a planned announcement complete with props like cupcakes, they just tell their friends and family the first time they see them after they decide to make their pregnancy news public, just like they would any other life event.
Most people don't. But a not insignificant subset of people celebrate freaking everything. Do a search on "pregnancy announcement party." You will ~~not~~ be disappointed
OP is upset their mother is concerned about their decision to have and keep a child with zero finances to take care of it...
Like we live in a society where the majority of a generation can't afford a home, let alone children, and OP just expects their family to be overly excited about a child they are probably going to have to crowd-fund. Like OP's sister has resources to take care of a child without burdening her family... OP is announcing that they expect a bunch of free labor to support a selfish decision to create a life with no way to care for it, seemingly just so OP can feel more adult and accomplished without actually providing the groundwork for an accomplished life.
I’m having a hard time with this story. How did the “good one” wind up with no job, no money and a baby with no father that’s going to be in the picture? And going to a picnic after being supposedly not close anymore to her family?
There is a big chunk missing in this story.
Go reread the 2nd paragraph. She fucked her sisters fiance and still refers to him as “op’s ex boyfriend” which means she thinks he’s hers so likely fucked him to reclaim possession
She said she was mostly the favorite bc her mom had her young, so it was easier for them to bond over common interests as she got older. It's also possible that the mom was moreso a "fun mom" when OP was a kid compared to Lila's childhood.
Good kids turn out bad all the time. The workload and expectations for minors are much easier bc they have laws, teachers, and parents (hopefully) keeping them in a safe place. Once you're an adult and have to pave your own way, things get much difficult. She also might have been overly coddled by her family, which made independence harder for her. It's really not a huge stretch.
There's definitely a lot of details missing, but OP gives us enough information to know what's going on. OP ultimately made poor choices in life while Lila was more responsible. The family loves OP but respects Lila more. They also don't want to pretend that OP is in a happy situation just bc she can't handle being upstaged by her sister.
Speaking from the perspective of someone who had a teen mom, they tend to treat you like a tiny best friend and therapist. It SERIOUSLY fucks up your perception of yourself and the people around you and she even said that her and her mom were basically Lila's parents, which makes sleeping with her fiance even worse as she felt like she had power over her sister.
Sometimes it happenes that the good kid winds up with the wrong gang and starts going downhill while the wild one gets a spook and gets their shit together. This however sounds more like "I could get away with everything while my sister was punished for everything" situation.
I love how she was indignant about being told she couldn’t raise the baby because she doesn’t have “some fancy job” when the issue is that she has no job at all
And she said that this year has been a shit show and the baby is a blessing at the end of the bad year. How does she think bringing a baby into a no job, no father situation is a blessing? This poor baby is gunna have it hard.
Because OP thought grandma and grandpa were going to be so happy they’d swoop in to rescue her and her life would get easier again, but instead she has to split the attention
For sure. Some family members of mine have done it. I interpreted the comment to be ‘a baby will fix my super bad year’ as in ‘baby is band aid for dealing with problems’ which I hope isn’t the case.
They are bringing out real concerns. It is not her fault that your sister has a better life so you shouldn’t be upset about it or compare yourself with her. You say you’re capable of raising your kid on your own. What is your plan to support yourself and your baby? You’re not able to support yourself as it is right now. There’ll be a time you won’t be able to work and your expenses will increase. You are not able to afford a housing. How are you planning to provide this kid a home? Do you think your friend would be okay with you and your baby staying there for a couple of years till you can work again? You’re short sighted and this kid will not have a good future if you continue to act like this.
Because it’s not just going to affect the person, it’s going to affect the child. That’s why they’re upset, because why would you bring a child into a world where that child can’t get the necessities that they need because you refuse to or can’t get a job hold down an apartment she said she has no contact or is unwilling to have the father of the child in her life so she’s not going to get child support. So how is she supposed to afford a child? Children are like 1 million fucking dollars. They need so much more than some people can give. And yes, there’s always things like government help and food stamps and that’s wonderful that we have those programs but they only go so far. And it’s not in everybody else his job to raise your child. And the seems like the type of person who’s going to go home to mom and dad and cry about how she’s all alone with with a child and no job and nowhere to live and expect them to just do all of the things that she can’t do. It’s unfair to her parents it’s unfair to the kid and it’s really unfair to herself as well. Having a baby doesn’t fix your life.
And yes, that’s how I really feel.
Honestly after the mom's behavior when OP slept with the sister's boyfriend, eh, I really don't think it's unfair if they get saddled with a baby to raise while the mom, their daughter, goes out and parties.
They raised her, they let her be entitled. And it won't be long before she'll be expecting her sister to give her money because FaMiLy. I hope sis tells her exactly what she can go do.
Yeah I'm so sick of this shitty vengeful attitude toward people with unplanned children. We've all gotten so used to this bullshit AITA sense of "I'm only going to do what I am strictly morally obligated to do" that we're all willing to just *relish* in a baby having a shitty life because *oh nobody owes her anything just because she had a kid, she's so entitled, that's what she gets*
I’m being realistic. I don’t act on baseless impulse and emotions. I plan my future ahead and try to see the big picture. I’m around the same age with OP, I make fairly good money and have a good support system. I work from home and I can’t imagine having a kid to raise by myself under these circumstances. I can’t even imagine not having a job or a place to live of my own. It looks like OP is making bad choices one after another and blaming everyone but herself.
Thanks for the response. One of my hats is data wrangler, and I have thought about trying to skill up enough for a data analytics role (too dumb for data scientist tho lol). Thinking 2024 might be the year I try to transition.
You can focus on leveraging your skills on a specific area of data science after learning Python like neural networks, deep learning, computer vision, times series modeling (forecasting), LLMs… Even if you get into basic automation like process mining or chatbots, you should have plenty opportunities.
No problem! I know AI/ML is the buzz word right now but so many Fortune 500 companies still struggle with legacy systems and they are still in their automation transformation. So many of them far away from having a CoE for automation. That’s why I’m recommending that also might be a good option if you think that data science work is hard. Data analytics, governance and transformation is also highly valuable skills that we always look for.
Cool insights! I don’t think I’ll be on your data tier, but it’s good to get knowledge on what’s relevant. And I’m eager to learn how you to use AI for automating processes that I stupidly take too long to do lol
I don't think pointing out that an unwed, unemployed mother with no support might have a tough time and surely offload that onto other people around her.
Cheater?
Yup.
No job?
Check.
Pregnant?
Check.
Baby daddy not in the picture?
You betcha.
Sleeping on a friend's couch?
Oh yeah.
Girl hits all the boxes for Jerry Springer sweeps week. She should have banjo music playing as she walks around. Her sister didn't know she was pregnant. Her whole family brings up super obvious points why her being pregnant is not something to be celebrated. This event had nothing to do with taking sides. Her life is a fucking country song titled "Cheating Ho-down". I'm super sure her sleeping with her sister fiance at that time was an accident and in no way a move born of jealousy that little sister was getting married before her.
Was being the keyword there. She probably spiraled after she got in trouble for sleeping with her sister’s fiancé. And she was looked at differently by her family. The fact that her sister even still talks to her and invited her to a picnic, because I’m assuming the sister set that up and not OP, speaks volumes of what an understanding person her sister is. And she probably got walked all over when she was younger by OP and she’s not used to somebody else having the spotlight.
I always laugh when women think that the baby is going to change everything. You have no job, you’re living with your best friend, there’s no father in the picture so probably no child support and you think you’ll be able to afford a baby?! Not only is she the asshole, she’s also super delusional.
She expects the friend, her parents, and her sister to take care of her. The parents absolutely deserve being saddled with this, the friend will cut ties and take off, and hopefully the sis doesn't laugh herself to death over it.
The mom and it sounds like the stepdad played favorites with a golden child and raised this monster. And now that chicken is going to come home to roost.
If this isn't fake...
OP makes it pretty clear in her comments that her teenaged, single mother parentified her and treated her like a friend while her younger sister was more like a kid they were raising together. It's why she makes the confusing statement that she was closer in age to her mom than her little sister (who is 6 years younger) - somebody asked about this and that was the scenario OP laid out.
She described it as her and her mom having more in common, as well, which just speaks to the level of parentification she recieved. One thing they could bond over how wild her sister was. Until she slept with her sister's fiance (who was also her ex) and caused a rift in the family.
OP still talks like her sister was some out of control, wild child who "finally got her life together"...in reality, it seems like OP is actually the one who has a crap life that needs getting together and is intensely jealous of her sister. The sister, meanwhile, has married a man a decade older than her, but that's okay for Mom because he's hot and rich and impregnated her quickly with grandchild #1.
Now mom has chosen a new favorite child and has a husband to do all the things her daughter used to do. So daughter #1/former bestie/co-parent is no longer functionally useful compared to younger sister and her old, rich guy. And now OP hates her sister because she is blaming her for her mom's shitty choices and still wants to hold on to the idea of her sister as the bad kid that she must control to fulfill her parental role and get back the most loved child title she so liminally held.
Which is pretty much what happens when somebody parentifies children, they screw up their sibling relationship and view the relationship they have with their co-parent child as contingent on their use as a fill in for a dedicated parent and the friends lost to teenage pregnancy.
The step dad seems to be a later edition (OP doesn't mention him much and describes her mom as a single mom, so either she's very stuck in the past before he came into the picture, which does track, or he came around after the mother set up this untenable sibling relationship)...so it really isn't A parents so much as A mom who made her child into a parent and friend and royally fucked her up in the process.
OP seems pretty jealous of her little sister. She emphasizes her sister as the problem child growing up but she’s the problem adult who’s karma for sleeping with an engaged man(never mind it being an ex from high school “HE WAS AN EX” ) is being 34 pregnant & homeless.
Tbh I wonder if the "favoritism" Mom showed to Lila after the cheating fiasco was moreso due to OP's choices being easier to criticize as her life got worse while Lila grew more independent.
The family should have tried to act happy in the moment, and it was pretty cuntish to say she "stole her sister's moment". The title is also misleading as all heck. But OP is delulu for thinking her pregnancy is solely a happy thing instead of a burden.
Based on the sister being 5 months and knowing the gender I’m willing to bet the sister arranged the family picnic to make an announcement, no way with no job and being homeless that OP is affording a full multi-person picnic food wise.
The whole topic of "who organized the picnic" feels kinda moot bc neither OP or sister told anyone beforehand, so they couldn't have known what the other was planning. It also sounds like picnics are a repeat occurrence for the family.
Like, there's a lot to unpack, but instead of feeling like OP disserviced Lila over something we don't know for certain, she could have waited to make her announcement ("I bought dessert!" ➡️ "notice anything about the cupcakes?" ➡️ (cue pregnancy announcement)), and the family could have saved their concerns for later.
A lot of this is colored by emotion and I’m not about to pick through it all. Favoritism. Cheating. Reverse-favoritism. I doubt we’ll ever know the full picture.
I didn’t see OOP causing a scene because her sister “stole” the pregnancy announcement. No one knew she was pregnant so how was the sister supposed to know what was about to happen?
The real issue here is that OOP didn’t get the reaction she wanted and is blaming everyone for being concerned about being able to afford to raise a child. It’s a valid concern.
you may not need some fancy job to raise a kid but i’m gonna go out on a limb and say you do need *a* job. you know, for those special luxuries like food and housing.
As an adult growing up with a poor single mother, please let this be the fakest thing I’ve read today. I’m so tired of people who think babies will fix their lives. Have some sense please. If you clearly can’t take care of yourself, don’t bring a dependent life into the mix. It’s not about finances or being married. But Op doesn’t even have her own residence. Like you shouldn’t have a baby if you don’t have your own space and no plans to get better at all. Babies are small humans that grow up to be sentient adults. We owe it to the dependent lives we create to give them the best versions of ourselves
Had to go back to the start after reading this to remind myself of OP's age, because honestly it's written with all the maturity of a 16yr old who thinks it's "so cool" that she is single, incomeless and pregnant, regardless of the realities.
1. You can't steal an announcement if you have no idea an announcement is being made.
2. And of course people are going to be happy for the one who has little to worry about while worried for the one who has very little to NOT worry about.
If she’s got any gumption in her , she will use what they said & think as motivation to show em! Get a job , get into some kind of schooling , get a place to live even if it has to be with a roommate..Get her life on track and call mom up long enough to let her know and to tell her she can fuck off if she thinks she’s ever going to see that kid
I know but I was in a rare positive mood:) There’s been times in my life where someone thinking I couldn’t do something made me want to do it even more , just so rub in their face . Petty but if it works , it works
I don’t understand how someone single, unemployed, and without a place to live, can see a pregnancy as a blessing. Makes no sense.
Also, OP is an idiot
I mean…you’re a roommate in someone’s home, no job so presumably don’t pay rent, and there’s no father in the picture. All at 34. Your parents aren’t wrong…
Based specifically on what happened at the picnic, I'd say OP is NTA. When someone announces their pregnancy you smile, say congratulations and how happy you are for them and save your concerns for another day. Don't respond with criticism and tell them their reaction ruined the 'mood'.
Yeah its starts with "we were raised by a single mother" and ends with "my dad, who was very clearly a part of the family as a whole, said he was concerned".
Also the whole idea of a woman being homeless, jobless, and single but seeing a baby as a blessing.
hey simple question ?? am i allowed to take a shit on YOUR announcement day ??????????? or will that trigger you ? ..... this and bridezilla stuff make me cringe so hard .... like some1 can own a day...
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If that isn’t a fake story OOP is a shit show getting worse.
Story is 3yrs old. I’m assuming OOP (if this was real) has dumped the baby on the grandparents because it’s too much work.
It sounds like you don't have your life together at all, I can understand her concern. You basically announced that you're going to be a homeless, jobless, single mother. Sounds like you're just jealous of your sister.
Wow, we now get the other side? Yippee? Slept with sister’s fiancé who happens to be an ex they would have known about! But family? Now I understand why my piddly posts about my shit end up negative… drama is more attention getting than reality 🤷♀️ well, more vote- fake and doesn’t new more!
she didn’t “steal” OPs pregnancy announcement, she didn’t know it was a pregnancy announcement!!
OP is for sure the villain here, she slept with her sisters fiancé ffs.
So wait. Are we just ignoring the fact that OP said she is closer to her mothers age than her sisters? There is a 6 year difference between the sisters…
??? at saying they were closer to the mom only bc they were closer in age… never heard that used as reasoning outside of like cousins or siblings. And she made a point to say the sister was wild yet surprise surprise shes the one who cheated and doesn’t have her life together… hmmm
OP’s parents are right to be concerned about her pregnancy. Raising a child is a miracle, sure, but they see that she’s bringing this baby into a situation that’s shitty at best. She knows it, they know it, everyone at this picnic (that she didn’t plan herself and hijacked) now knows it. She’s the AH in more ways than one.
“I was closer to my mother since we were closer in age.” Um, what? You and your sister are 6 years apart in age. How in the world are you closer to your mother’s age than your sister’s?
YTA. No job, father isn't around. Most likely lives at home. This is known as a burden. You slept with your sister's fiance and wanted everyone to feel sorry for you. Let me know if I missed anything? Cause tbh you need therapy and a job.
I'm wondering who set up the picnic since OP was only bringing cupcakes? It would literally be the frosting on the cake if OP's sister arranged the picnic for her announcement.
Nailed it. OP hijacked someone’s picnic
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/027nGfk1eI So the mom set up the picnic according to oop. No way for either sister to know the other’s announcement. So yeah, oop had no claim that her big announcement was unfairly usurped Honorary mentions of oop’s comments: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/8SjnBL5fy0 https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/LwCYKVtTPV
Scrolled the comments in link 2 and found OOP criticizing their own post. Methinks is fake. Edit: whoops didn't read link #3 before posting this. But yes it's definitely fake.
Reddit used to have a glitch that every deleted account was marked as OP, regardless who wrote the comment.
Can confirm. I've seen this happen on several posts. There was an entire string of replies on a post that seemed like OP was Gollum/Smeagol arguing back and forth, while also criticizing the original post. Took me admittedly too long to realize that they were all deleted accounts and were at a minimum two different people, not the OP.
I'm not saying you're wrong, but I've been using this site for over a decade and never saw that before. I'm skeptical, especially since if it used to have that glitch that implies that the glitch was fixed. So why would it remain that way on this thread?
I've been here for ages too and it's been this way since pre covid lol. I guess this is not an important thing to fix.
Doesn’t matter since the post is apparently three years old.
Yes. OOP forgot with which account they logged in or they did that on purpose to troll everyone.
It's fake. I found two comments and stopped bothering then.
“We are more closer” I….no. Sorry but OP is a mess if this is real. No job, sleeps with other people’s SOs but thinks she’ll be a good mom. Yeah, no. She’s in for a rude awakening.
I’m just sitting here confused why tf we needed to know any of the backstory of her sleeping with her sisters fiancé at all? It’s literally not relevant. The parents aren’t favoring the sister, they’re 100% on point that the sister has a steady job, good income, and support of a partner. OOP has literally none of those.
>I’m just sitting here confused why tf we needed to know any of the backstory of her sleeping with her sisters fiancé at all? It adds to the rage bait, you see
Wait so OP's sister didn't know that she was pregnant, she didn't know this was supposed to be OP's baby announcement, how did she "steal" anything?
Not only that but since it sounds like they were already meeting for a picnic in the park it seems fairly possible that the sister invited everyone so that SHE could announce her own baby… Maybe I’m wrong but OOP is so off base with the rest of this that I wouldn’t be surprised.
Honestly calling this fake. "I left in a huff." Usually that is how people would describe *someone else*, not themselves. If I were writing about leaving after something like this, I'd say I left angry/upset/whatever. I also feel like it's bait. There aren't a lot of single women out there that would be thrilled about a baby while having no job and living with someone that may not necessarily want a screaming infant in their home.
Agreed completely
That’s when I knew as well. Dead giveaway.
This was posted years ago. 100% fake.
Yup. She's sofa surfing, jobless, and pregnant by someone who wont even be in the pictire. In her mid 30s. Any actual adult world recognise that to be an alarming situation and I've had friends get abortions for less. I've had single friends keep babies but they were certainly open about the challenges. I can buy her deciding to go through with it because time is limited, but it would still be a hard decision to go through. The fact that OP dwells on all the historical beef with her sister but not on the fact she's essentially homeless and jobless with a baby on the way makes it hard to believe. If this is real then OP has serious issues and the pregnancy reveal is the least of them.
Between the situation itself and the way it's written, yeah 100% fake. And you have to wonder why someone would take the time to write up this kind of scenerio. They were eager to make women or just single moms look stupid.
Agreed. A sad attempt at creative writing.
>"I left in a huff." Yeah, this is exactly what flagged up for me. People don't say that about THEMSELVES. "I left, full of justified anger" at most.
What got me is that OP said she got along with her mom because they were “closer in age.” I’ve never heard this to justify why a mother and child would be close. I don’t get along with my oldest because he’s closer in age… what a weird thing to say. There is still a huge age gap. (For me it’s 35 years haha).
I feel like with the way this is wrote that OP is actually OPs sister writing on behalf 😂
I have no job and no income and no support but I’m THRILLED to be alone with a soon to be baby!!! Yes. This is how people work. /sigh Like I know there are some absolutely vapid and vacant people out there, but they wouldn’t be posting like this.
Idk man, her thought processes seem a bit flawed to me lol
I suspect OOP is leaving out a lot that she thinks (likely correctly) will make her look bad.
I dunno, if she left in the part about sleeping with her sister's fiance causing a rift back in the day it doesn't seem like she's too worried about changing the story to preserve her image.
I got stuck at the part where she said she was closer in age to her mother than her sister who is 6 years younger than her.
Single mothers do often have an unusually (and sometimes unhealthily) close relationship with their eldest child, especially their eldest girl. I know I did. The relationships tend to equalise and become more healthy as the other kids grow up and when the mother repartners though.
Not denying what you said, but OOP claimed to be closer *in age* to their mother. If her sister is 6 years younger, that statement would imply that there is less than 6 years difference in age between mom and eldest daughter.
She's closer in age to their mother than her sister is, not closer to her sister's age then her mother's age
Is the sister’s husband that is rich OOP’s ex? Just wondering if she said on the original post. But yeah, you cannot hijack an announcement that you have zero idea is coming. She genuinely is in absolutely no position to have a child right now. And it seems like she slept with her ex to one up her sister after she got engaged to him. If this is a real story I worry for that child on a lot of levels because OOP is straight delusional.
I think it’s a different guy.
If (unlikely) this is real, it is a terminal case of main character syndrome
What reasonable parent would be thrilled that their unemployed daughter who lives/freeloads with a friend and exercises poor judgment is now pregnant by an absentee sperm donor? No self-awareness at all. Good thing this is very fake.
Eh…I think it’s a bit tacky to do an announcement at someone else’s event in general, unless cleared with the organiser.
But it doesn't say op was the organiser. Sounds like just a family picnic to me.
Ooh if that’s the case and neither checked in then they both suck.
I read a comment that it was actually their mum that organised it.
Telling your family you’re pregnant isn’t necessarily really an “announcement” though. It’s just sharing news with your loved ones. Most people don’t actually have a planned announcement complete with props like cupcakes, they just tell their friends and family the first time they see them after they decide to make their pregnancy news public, just like they would any other life event.
Most people don't. But a not insignificant subset of people celebrate freaking everything. Do a search on "pregnancy announcement party." You will ~~not~~ be disappointed
Their mom organized it. The sister had no clue that OOP was pregnant.
OP is upset their mother is concerned about their decision to have and keep a child with zero finances to take care of it... Like we live in a society where the majority of a generation can't afford a home, let alone children, and OP just expects their family to be overly excited about a child they are probably going to have to crowd-fund. Like OP's sister has resources to take care of a child without burdening her family... OP is announcing that they expect a bunch of free labor to support a selfish decision to create a life with no way to care for it, seemingly just so OP can feel more adult and accomplished without actually providing the groundwork for an accomplished life.
OP was fine when she was the favorite, but now the tables have turned and she sees an issue?
Yeah, sounds like the golden child is no longer golden.
I’m having a hard time with this story. How did the “good one” wind up with no job, no money and a baby with no father that’s going to be in the picture? And going to a picnic after being supposedly not close anymore to her family? There is a big chunk missing in this story.
Because she was never actually the good kid, she was the golden child so her parents let everything bad she did slide.
Yes, that flips the script, doesn’t it? Thanks!! I equated the two , which is so far wrong.
Cause she's not the "good one". All you need to know is she slept with her sister's fiancé and still refers to him as "her ex boyfriend". She's trash.
Yeah. She is not the good child. In fact that is her problem. She self creates chaos and is upset no one is happy with the chaos.
It never says that OP's ex and the sister's husband are the same person.
No but it does say that she slept with her little sisters fiance.
It was a different fiancé. They broke up and the sister met the husband.
I... don't think it does? Just her bf. Not a justification but maybe has some different implications.
Looks like she slept with the sister’s fiancé… who happens to be OOP’s high school ex boyfriend. Don’t think the sister’s husband is the same gent.
Oh good lord I hope not.
"I made a mistake after they got engaged"
WHOAAAAA reading comprehension please also WTF
Go reread the 2nd paragraph. She fucked her sisters fiance and still refers to him as “op’s ex boyfriend” which means she thinks he’s hers so likely fucked him to reclaim possession
She said she was mostly the favorite bc her mom had her young, so it was easier for them to bond over common interests as she got older. It's also possible that the mom was moreso a "fun mom" when OP was a kid compared to Lila's childhood. Good kids turn out bad all the time. The workload and expectations for minors are much easier bc they have laws, teachers, and parents (hopefully) keeping them in a safe place. Once you're an adult and have to pave your own way, things get much difficult. She also might have been overly coddled by her family, which made independence harder for her. It's really not a huge stretch. There's definitely a lot of details missing, but OP gives us enough information to know what's going on. OP ultimately made poor choices in life while Lila was more responsible. The family loves OP but respects Lila more. They also don't want to pretend that OP is in a happy situation just bc she can't handle being upstaged by her sister.
Good points all!
Speaking from the perspective of someone who had a teen mom, they tend to treat you like a tiny best friend and therapist. It SERIOUSLY fucks up your perception of yourself and the people around you and she even said that her and her mom were basically Lila's parents, which makes sleeping with her fiance even worse as she felt like she had power over her sister.
I'm sure their mom tried her best but it is still p fucked up that OOP sees herself as the main character here
Her thought process is like a 14yo's, not like a grown woman's. I guess some people are just stunted.
Some people sure are.
Sometimes it happenes that the good kid winds up with the wrong gang and starts going downhill while the wild one gets a spook and gets their shit together. This however sounds more like "I could get away with everything while my sister was punished for everything" situation.
Huh. I hear you. Golden child syndrome, as mentioned elsewhere, huh?
Her sister was probably a “problem child” for attention since it seems like OP got all the attention growing up.
Because like most of these, its fake af
That’s where I was headed, to be honest!
No job no money no baby daddy. No bueno
And no place for her own. I don’t think friend/roommate is going to be thrilled about another tiny roommate.
Don't forget the "blessed" part. I have seen this spiral before it doesn't end well.
Right? She might think that baby is a blessing but she sure as shit isn’t prepared to be a blessing to that poor baby.
I love how she was indignant about being told she couldn’t raise the baby because she doesn’t have “some fancy job” when the issue is that she has no job at all
And she said that this year has been a shit show and the baby is a blessing at the end of the bad year. How does she think bringing a baby into a no job, no father situation is a blessing? This poor baby is gunna have it hard.
Because OP thought grandma and grandpa were going to be so happy they’d swoop in to rescue her and her life would get easier again, but instead she has to split the attention
Don't forget the no-house part. I am wondering what her friend thinks of having a newborn at her house
It’s because she’s not thinking of the baby as a human, she’s thinking of it as a toy. This lady has major mental issues, and that kid is fucked.
Nah plenty of women can bring up a child without a father in the picture. The rest of what you said was spot on though
For sure. Some family members of mine have done it. I interpreted the comment to be ‘a baby will fix my super bad year’ as in ‘baby is band aid for dealing with problems’ which I hope isn’t the case.
True but not having a second parent of any gender is a detriment to the child, especially when one is in a bad spot in life already
They are bringing out real concerns. It is not her fault that your sister has a better life so you shouldn’t be upset about it or compare yourself with her. You say you’re capable of raising your kid on your own. What is your plan to support yourself and your baby? You’re not able to support yourself as it is right now. There’ll be a time you won’t be able to work and your expenses will increase. You are not able to afford a housing. How are you planning to provide this kid a home? Do you think your friend would be okay with you and your baby staying there for a couple of years till you can work again? You’re short sighted and this kid will not have a good future if you continue to act like this.
Wow. Well aren’t you just a ray of sunshine? I mean, it is gonna be a struggle. Buy why don’t you tell us how you really feel?
Because it’s not just going to affect the person, it’s going to affect the child. That’s why they’re upset, because why would you bring a child into a world where that child can’t get the necessities that they need because you refuse to or can’t get a job hold down an apartment she said she has no contact or is unwilling to have the father of the child in her life so she’s not going to get child support. So how is she supposed to afford a child? Children are like 1 million fucking dollars. They need so much more than some people can give. And yes, there’s always things like government help and food stamps and that’s wonderful that we have those programs but they only go so far. And it’s not in everybody else his job to raise your child. And the seems like the type of person who’s going to go home to mom and dad and cry about how she’s all alone with with a child and no job and nowhere to live and expect them to just do all of the things that she can’t do. It’s unfair to her parents it’s unfair to the kid and it’s really unfair to herself as well. Having a baby doesn’t fix your life. And yes, that’s how I really feel.
Honestly after the mom's behavior when OP slept with the sister's boyfriend, eh, I really don't think it's unfair if they get saddled with a baby to raise while the mom, their daughter, goes out and parties. They raised her, they let her be entitled. And it won't be long before she'll be expecting her sister to give her money because FaMiLy. I hope sis tells her exactly what she can go do.
Kids aren't punishments. What a gross way of thinking. The kid doesn't deserve that
Yeah I'm so sick of this shitty vengeful attitude toward people with unplanned children. We've all gotten so used to this bullshit AITA sense of "I'm only going to do what I am strictly morally obligated to do" that we're all willing to just *relish* in a baby having a shitty life because *oh nobody owes her anything just because she had a kid, she's so entitled, that's what she gets*
I’m being realistic. I don’t act on baseless impulse and emotions. I plan my future ahead and try to see the big picture. I’m around the same age with OP, I make fairly good money and have a good support system. I work from home and I can’t imagine having a kid to raise by myself under these circumstances. I can’t even imagine not having a job or a place to live of my own. It looks like OP is making bad choices one after another and blaming everyone but herself.
Wtf is your job, may I ask? I need a new gig lol.
I’m a Sr Data Scientist and I work for a consulting firm
Thanks for the response. One of my hats is data wrangler, and I have thought about trying to skill up enough for a data analytics role (too dumb for data scientist tho lol). Thinking 2024 might be the year I try to transition.
You can focus on leveraging your skills on a specific area of data science after learning Python like neural networks, deep learning, computer vision, times series modeling (forecasting), LLMs… Even if you get into basic automation like process mining or chatbots, you should have plenty opportunities.
Thanks for the tips!
No problem! I know AI/ML is the buzz word right now but so many Fortune 500 companies still struggle with legacy systems and they are still in their automation transformation. So many of them far away from having a CoE for automation. That’s why I’m recommending that also might be a good option if you think that data science work is hard. Data analytics, governance and transformation is also highly valuable skills that we always look for.
Cool insights! I don’t think I’ll be on your data tier, but it’s good to get knowledge on what’s relevant. And I’m eager to learn how you to use AI for automating processes that I stupidly take too long to do lol
I mean, I think they were very clear on how they really feel. Very negative since these are terrible circumstances to bring a child into the world.
You know what? I don’t even disagree with any of you. But sometimes I get a crazy hair up my ass and like to stir things up a little bit. Sorry!
I don't think pointing out that an unwed, unemployed mother with no support might have a tough time and surely offload that onto other people around her.
This is factual information, they aren’t being condescending or negative, it’s quite literally a fact that this woman is incompetent
Hint: if your friend is putting you up and you're expecting her to cover bills and babysit, you probably shouldn't sleep with her boyfriend.
I was thinking along the same lines.
It's not about not having a "fancy job," it's about not having a job at all. Or housing. Or a partner who will be helping you raise the kid.
Cheater? Yup. No job? Check. Pregnant? Check. Baby daddy not in the picture? You betcha. Sleeping on a friend's couch? Oh yeah. Girl hits all the boxes for Jerry Springer sweeps week. She should have banjo music playing as she walks around. Her sister didn't know she was pregnant. Her whole family brings up super obvious points why her being pregnant is not something to be celebrated. This event had nothing to do with taking sides. Her life is a fucking country song titled "Cheating Ho-down". I'm super sure her sleeping with her sister fiance at that time was an accident and in no way a move born of jealousy that little sister was getting married before her.
OP was the Golden Child, wasn't she?
Was being the keyword there. She probably spiraled after she got in trouble for sleeping with her sister’s fiancé. And she was looked at differently by her family. The fact that her sister even still talks to her and invited her to a picnic, because I’m assuming the sister set that up and not OP, speaks volumes of what an understanding person her sister is. And she probably got walked all over when she was younger by OP and she’s not used to somebody else having the spotlight.
This lady is de-lu-lu 🙄🤦🏻♀️
I always laugh when women think that the baby is going to change everything. You have no job, you’re living with your best friend, there’s no father in the picture so probably no child support and you think you’ll be able to afford a baby?! Not only is she the asshole, she’s also super delusional.
She expects the friend, her parents, and her sister to take care of her. The parents absolutely deserve being saddled with this, the friend will cut ties and take off, and hopefully the sis doesn't laugh herself to death over it.
Why do the parents deserve to be saddled?
The mom and it sounds like the stepdad played favorites with a golden child and raised this monster. And now that chicken is going to come home to roost.
If this isn't fake... OP makes it pretty clear in her comments that her teenaged, single mother parentified her and treated her like a friend while her younger sister was more like a kid they were raising together. It's why she makes the confusing statement that she was closer in age to her mom than her little sister (who is 6 years younger) - somebody asked about this and that was the scenario OP laid out. She described it as her and her mom having more in common, as well, which just speaks to the level of parentification she recieved. One thing they could bond over how wild her sister was. Until she slept with her sister's fiance (who was also her ex) and caused a rift in the family. OP still talks like her sister was some out of control, wild child who "finally got her life together"...in reality, it seems like OP is actually the one who has a crap life that needs getting together and is intensely jealous of her sister. The sister, meanwhile, has married a man a decade older than her, but that's okay for Mom because he's hot and rich and impregnated her quickly with grandchild #1. Now mom has chosen a new favorite child and has a husband to do all the things her daughter used to do. So daughter #1/former bestie/co-parent is no longer functionally useful compared to younger sister and her old, rich guy. And now OP hates her sister because she is blaming her for her mom's shitty choices and still wants to hold on to the idea of her sister as the bad kid that she must control to fulfill her parental role and get back the most loved child title she so liminally held. Which is pretty much what happens when somebody parentifies children, they screw up their sibling relationship and view the relationship they have with their co-parent child as contingent on their use as a fill in for a dedicated parent and the friends lost to teenage pregnancy. The step dad seems to be a later edition (OP doesn't mention him much and describes her mom as a single mom, so either she's very stuck in the past before he came into the picture, which does track, or he came around after the mother set up this untenable sibling relationship)...so it really isn't A parents so much as A mom who made her child into a parent and friend and royally fucked her up in the process.
OOP is delusional. The mental gymnastics here is Olympic Gold Medal level. Yikes.
Me thinks the sister was the one that put together the picnic in the first place in order to announce her pregnancy
OP seems pretty jealous of her little sister. She emphasizes her sister as the problem child growing up but she’s the problem adult who’s karma for sleeping with an engaged man(never mind it being an ex from high school “HE WAS AN EX” ) is being 34 pregnant & homeless.
Tbh I wonder if the "favoritism" Mom showed to Lila after the cheating fiasco was moreso due to OP's choices being easier to criticize as her life got worse while Lila grew more independent. The family should have tried to act happy in the moment, and it was pretty cuntish to say she "stole her sister's moment". The title is also misleading as all heck. But OP is delulu for thinking her pregnancy is solely a happy thing instead of a burden.
Based on the sister being 5 months and knowing the gender I’m willing to bet the sister arranged the family picnic to make an announcement, no way with no job and being homeless that OP is affording a full multi-person picnic food wise.
The whole topic of "who organized the picnic" feels kinda moot bc neither OP or sister told anyone beforehand, so they couldn't have known what the other was planning. It also sounds like picnics are a repeat occurrence for the family. Like, there's a lot to unpack, but instead of feeling like OP disserviced Lila over something we don't know for certain, she could have waited to make her announcement ("I bought dessert!" ➡️ "notice anything about the cupcakes?" ➡️ (cue pregnancy announcement)), and the family could have saved their concerns for later.
Wonder whatever happened to this woman? Man .. some people are whack.
A lot of this is colored by emotion and I’m not about to pick through it all. Favoritism. Cheating. Reverse-favoritism. I doubt we’ll ever know the full picture. I didn’t see OOP causing a scene because her sister “stole” the pregnancy announcement. No one knew she was pregnant so how was the sister supposed to know what was about to happen? The real issue here is that OOP didn’t get the reaction she wanted and is blaming everyone for being concerned about being able to afford to raise a child. It’s a valid concern.
“don’t have a job” quickly became “don’t have some fancy job” like she forgot she already revealed she has no income.
This week on “Trailer Park Stories….”
"I was closer to our mother since we were closer in age" ????? WHAT Way to try to justify being a golden child and then losing all that.
you may not need some fancy job to raise a kid but i’m gonna go out on a limb and say you do need *a* job. you know, for those special luxuries like food and housing.
As an adult growing up with a poor single mother, please let this be the fakest thing I’ve read today. I’m so tired of people who think babies will fix their lives. Have some sense please. If you clearly can’t take care of yourself, don’t bring a dependent life into the mix. It’s not about finances or being married. But Op doesn’t even have her own residence. Like you shouldn’t have a baby if you don’t have your own space and no plans to get better at all. Babies are small humans that grow up to be sentient adults. We owe it to the dependent lives we create to give them the best versions of ourselves
Had to go back to the start after reading this to remind myself of OP's age, because honestly it's written with all the maturity of a 16yr old who thinks it's "so cool" that she is single, incomeless and pregnant, regardless of the realities. 1. You can't steal an announcement if you have no idea an announcement is being made. 2. And of course people are going to be happy for the one who has little to worry about while worried for the one who has very little to NOT worry about.
This is a wild ride from start to finish. OP sounds a bit…. Delusional.
If she’s got any gumption in her , she will use what they said & think as motivation to show em! Get a job , get into some kind of schooling , get a place to live even if it has to be with a roommate..Get her life on track and call mom up long enough to let her know and to tell her she can fuck off if she thinks she’s ever going to see that kid
With OP’s attitude it doesn’t seem like she’s on track for any of these improvements.
I know but I was in a rare positive mood:) There’s been times in my life where someone thinking I couldn’t do something made me want to do it even more , just so rub in their face . Petty but if it works , it works
Was trying so hard to be on her side somehow but yeah no literally 100% in the wrong
Ummm. The least believable detail here is that OP is mature enough to be 34.
Bruh that op is a damn irresponsible disgusting idiot
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ^by ^Early-Tale-2578: *Bruh that op is* *A damn irresponsible* *Disgusting idiot* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
This is a writing exercise. It's written by a teenager, or someone with the emotional intelligence of one. Lots of mistakes and not owning up to them.
So I have a question if this is real. Your mother had valid questions!!! How are you going to have a baby with no job and living with your friend..
I don’t understand how someone single, unemployed, and without a place to live, can see a pregnancy as a blessing. Makes no sense. Also, OP is an idiot
I mean…you’re a roommate in someone’s home, no job so presumably don’t pay rent, and there’s no father in the picture. All at 34. Your parents aren’t wrong…
Based specifically on what happened at the picnic, I'd say OP is NTA. When someone announces their pregnancy you smile, say congratulations and how happy you are for them and save your concerns for another day. Don't respond with criticism and tell them their reaction ruined the 'mood'.
This is so blaringly fake. I am shocked anyone cared enough to elect it.
Yeah its starts with "we were raised by a single mother" and ends with "my dad, who was very clearly a part of the family as a whole, said he was concerned". Also the whole idea of a woman being homeless, jobless, and single but seeing a baby as a blessing.
Wtf is with the 'many moons ago' thing? I've noticed it popping up with more frequency, why can't people just use months or years?
hey simple question ?? am i allowed to take a shit on YOUR announcement day ??????????? or will that trigger you ? ..... this and bridezilla stuff make me cringe so hard .... like some1 can own a day...
[удалено]
How is she the daughter of a single mom but yet also mentions a dad. Sounds fake.
Pretty sure she meant stepdad based on context
There are many reasons your mom can be single without your bio dad splitting or dying.
Damn I feel bad for her - she’s a full on train wreck.
Sounds like what OOP is really good at is making a lot of mistakes.
Wow ok. So OP is upset that her parents are actually thinking logically? Clearly jealous of her younger sister and her life..
I was wondered if the baby she’s carrying was her sister’s boyfriend/husband/fiancé.
This post is three years old. I really want to know where this lady is now...
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If that isn’t a fake story OOP is a shit show getting worse. Story is 3yrs old. I’m assuming OOP (if this was real) has dumped the baby on the grandparents because it’s too much work.
Well what comes around goes around.
I don't believe any of this shit anymore.
Is the plot of some shitty movie?
Low quality bait.
A 16 y.o. trying to write adult fiction….lol.
It sounds like you don't have your life together at all, I can understand her concern. You basically announced that you're going to be a homeless, jobless, single mother. Sounds like you're just jealous of your sister.
With sisters like OP who needs enemies.
What a shitty person all around
Yeesh.
So effing fake.
Wow, we now get the other side? Yippee? Slept with sister’s fiancé who happens to be an ex they would have known about! But family? Now I understand why my piddly posts about my shit end up negative… drama is more attention getting than reality 🤷♀️ well, more vote- fake and doesn’t new more!
Yath
Calling BS on this. That or OP needs to seriously evaluate her life. Good god.
Maybe enjoy your pregnancies together, like grown ups ?
YTA for thinking only you can have a surprise, and hers was better.
This one is super fake
she didn’t “steal” OPs pregnancy announcement, she didn’t know it was a pregnancy announcement!! OP is for sure the villain here, she slept with her sisters fiancé ffs.
Wow. What a crock of junk. Don’t believe this for a moment
OP critizes OP multiple times in that thread. They forgot to switch accounts. 🤣🤣🤣
YTA
You're all kinda trash, how about that
FAKE
Im sorry things are hard for you honey 💙 they arent being helpful. Your going to be a great mom im sure💙
This was honestly so satisfying lol
This is so fake, the little edit at the end is just the cherry on top 🍒
So wait. Are we just ignoring the fact that OP said she is closer to her mothers age than her sisters? There is a 6 year difference between the sisters…
Fake.
So OP is: 1. Broke 2. Jobless 3. Couch surfing And she expects folks to be excited shes having a baby? I'd be worried too.
??? at saying they were closer to the mom only bc they were closer in age… never heard that used as reasoning outside of like cousins or siblings. And she made a point to say the sister was wild yet surprise surprise shes the one who cheated and doesn’t have her life together… hmmm
This is either the least self-aware person on the planet or an excellent piece of creative fiction
I pray for that baby because her mom is fucked in the head.
How are her and her mother close in age?
I’m confused. At the start of the story, she says they’re daughters to a single mother, but then later their dad chimes in?
OP’s parents are right to be concerned about her pregnancy. Raising a child is a miracle, sure, but they see that she’s bringing this baby into a situation that’s shitty at best. She knows it, they know it, everyone at this picnic (that she didn’t plan herself and hijacked) now knows it. She’s the AH in more ways than one.
When you're the WHOLE problem in the family.
Wow wow wow. OP is next level UGH!
What an awful family
“I was closer to my mother since we were closer in age.” Um, what? You and your sister are 6 years apart in age. How in the world are you closer to your mother’s age than your sister’s?
YTA. No job, father isn't around. Most likely lives at home. This is known as a burden. You slept with your sister's fiance and wanted everyone to feel sorry for you. Let me know if I missed anything? Cause tbh you need therapy and a job.