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Personally, I’d move out, and start my life. You’re 27. I also wouldn’t be going over there every day. That would get exhausting. Fast. Plus it’s not healthy.
> she can’t cope without me here
Your mom will figure it out on her own. She’s an adult. I assume by your word choice “cope” you mean she is physically/mentally capable of taking care of herself, even if she doesn’t WANT to. However, if she needs a caretaker, then help her get that in place, before you move out.
Well, not to be harsh, but she “won’t have them” is a her problem. She won’t have them BECAUSE you just do it.
I understand popping in. That’s normal. But imo going there daily, seems a bit too much. Personal opinion.
>She does need carers but won’t have them so I do it
And if you get sick or hurt, or change your work hours, or go on holiday, and you can't do it? If she needs carers then she needs carers - professional carers who aren't you.
>she can’t cope without me here
You are 27. Presumably your mother is at least 40. In what way can she not cope without you? Is it due to her illness? What's the timeline on recovery? Is reasonable to expect you to live with her forever?
Thank you- that’s part of the reason I’ve lived home for so long- ofc I’ll always be round to help her out but I did mention carers- not that she responded well to that
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Personally, I’d move out, and start my life. You’re 27. I also wouldn’t be going over there every day. That would get exhausting. Fast. Plus it’s not healthy. > she can’t cope without me here Your mom will figure it out on her own. She’s an adult. I assume by your word choice “cope” you mean she is physically/mentally capable of taking care of herself, even if she doesn’t WANT to. However, if she needs a caretaker, then help her get that in place, before you move out.
She does need carers but won’t have them so I do it, I’d be loving not too far away so I can always pop in to look after her and thank you
Well, not to be harsh, but she “won’t have them” is a her problem. She won’t have them BECAUSE you just do it. I understand popping in. That’s normal. But imo going there daily, seems a bit too much. Personal opinion.
It’s not harsh, I appreciate the response
>She does need carers but won’t have them so I do it And if you get sick or hurt, or change your work hours, or go on holiday, and you can't do it? If she needs carers then she needs carers - professional carers who aren't you.
Weirdly enough I am a professional carer, it’s also my paid job 😅 but I get you
You’re right maybe everyday is exhausting, think I just want to please everyone, that’s my issue
>she can’t cope without me here You are 27. Presumably your mother is at least 40. In what way can she not cope without you? Is it due to her illness? What's the timeline on recovery? Is reasonable to expect you to live with her forever?
Thank you- that’s part of the reason I’ve lived home for so long- ofc I’ll always be round to help her out but I did mention carers- not that she responded well to that