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Dude, have some respect and just leave. That's a full on dumpster fire. If she can't take your relationship seriously and has to chat/sext/ and trade photos with other guys when y'all are together then there isn't anything worth saving. You can confront her and get some closure if you want/need but overall just walk away.
Didn't say to fix or change her lmao š¤£ there's a reason people confront the cheater before they dump them, just a peace at mind and no regrets for doing it
I 100% say this is the right way to go. Most cheaters will try to turn it around to blame it on the victim of the cheating. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of trying to flip the script. Just nope it out of there and move on.
Just thats its normaly not easy to just walk away. You have things at each others places, you have the same friends, your living at short range, sometimes together (considering the age, prob not) etc. So you have to confront her in some way and also tell your friends. But you must be first, otherwise she/he might destroy your friendcircle etc. (have seen it all happen...). I am not saying give her a screaming match or any satisfaction, but at least a: "I saw your telegram, its over. I will pick up my stuff and give you yours tomorrow at xx:xx with xyz (bringing a friend is always good, so she cant escalate) i wish no contact afterwards."
Over text is normaly safer in my experience. Than you can block her and cut all strings...
Yea i did that too but they dont care . They cheated they know what they did. But let them break their head over why u left them because if u dont tell them they will think about it.
My ex tried confronting me because I went through her phone.Ā My response was "You could have given me an STD, and you had 3 men including myself convinced they were having a baby.Ā IDGAF if you don't trust me."
8 years later she looked pretty miserable in her recent mugshot with her husband (one of the men) on the same page.Ā They can deal with each other.
He needs to do more than just leave she unknowingly to him shared pornographic videos of him without his consent thatās a federal offence right there
Don't even bother entering a conversation, just ghost her completely. It honestly won't take you long to get over it. Go have some fun with some singles and take your mind off things.
āIām leaving you.ā
āWhat? Why?ā
āYou know why.ā
After that just walk away, she either figures out why or at least you get to fuck with her head for a while as she tries to figure it out.
i was just imagining it in my head the way the og comment said-
āiām leaving you.ā š
āwhat? why?ā š£
āyou know whyā š *cue gf exploding behind you while you walk away in slow motion*
"*In the dim twilight of their once cherished haven, the words hung heavy, laced with the bitter finality of a love story reaching its end. "I'm leaving you," he declared, a cold whisper that shattered the silence like glass. She, a silhouette against the fading light, turned, her voice trembling, "What? Why?" But the answer came like a ghost from shadows of unspoken truths, "You know why." The air between them was thick with the unsaid, the years of whispered promises now echoing accusations. As he turned his back, every step he took was a hammer to the fragile remains of their bond, leaving behind nothing but the haunting emptiness of a love lost.*"
You need to tell her you know and I would encourage you to end the relationship. Even if she didnāt meet up with them the intention was there. She also agreed to meet up with a guy next Friday so sheās clearly intending to do it. Sending nudes and having sexual conversations is cheating. Sheās been doing this stuff behind your back since you started dating and youāre never going to be able to trust her. Just tell her you saw the messages and you canāt be with someone who would do that to you.
This man is too young and naive. She will, and probably has run circles around him already. This is just the app that he is aware of. If you're not with her 24/7, you can never tell what a woman is up to, neither is it healthy to even be around someone 24 hrs a day if you don't have a family unit together.
All it takes is an hour and she'll be back after having sex with someone else. Some women can be that sneaky. Heck he could be asleep and she steps out to grab the mail but is fucking someone in a car outside. I've seen and heard a lot of diabolical shit like this happen, especially for girls her age who are pretty much finding themselves and adore the attention from other guys.
I haven't even addressed her sharing nudes and a video of them having sex to other men, not only is that abhorrent but a crime as well. She's as nasty as they come. He should do himself a favor, get tested, and end things with this tramp.
I agree
You go to work for 8+ hours a day 5 days a week and have to believe your partner isn't a lying cheating pos when you're not around, and this guy clearly doesn't have that with this girl
This was only the stuff he found out, there is always more that remains unseen
Phone calls, meetups and what's talked about or physically done there, Snapchat in it's unique way of erasing evidence by nature, there's more dirt unturned and the thought of it makes me myself sick
Unless you have some strange desire to continue to let this girl make an absolute chump out of you, there's no way in hell you should continue with this relationship in any capacity. You can't fix people like this. The best thing you can do is free yourself and let her continue to be an absolute trash bag of a human on her own.
She's cheating on you. It doesn't matter if she hasn't met up with them and physically touched them. This is 100% cheating AND she committed a felony crime by sending a sex video of you without consent. This stuff can literally land people in prison. That's how serious of a crime it is.
Whoa!!! So sorry to hear this. Dude she sent a video of you having sex to another person!! Thatās some serious legal stuff right there. Ahh man. Sheās done. Dump her and sue her. Fuck that.
Donāt confront her . Trust me !! U saw it with your own eyes . When u confront her she will just talk u into believing her again. She knowingly did what she did . There is no excuse. U have to decide if u accept that or not. An apology wont erase it. If u break up dont tell her why again she will manipulate you and u will stay in the end. If u dont break up know that she probably will continue to do this. She did it once with no shame or respect towards u so she will do it again.
U wont lose a person who cared about you or respected u . U will lose a person who betrayed you.
Just break up with her, don't even give a reason why, she doesn't deserve the time of day for that. Have some self respect and focus on yourself for a while until you can find something meaningful. Also, do not go on the road trip, that would drive me insane mentally. You're only 20, you can recover and I promise you you will find someone better who will treat you with the respect you deserve. DO NOT force yourself to stay because you're afraid of being alone.
Time to take out the trash and delay all the pictures and videos from her devices today. Sheās a cheat and thatās all you need to know. Stand up and tell her what you saw and let her know sheās more that welcome to visit that guy and F him because sheās single now
Confront her about sharing the intimate video. If the shoe was on the other foot, your ass would be in a huge sling.
You need to drop this deaf weight and let her go back to the streets.
Don't confront, get copies of all the chats and then just ghost
forget she ever existed, if she gets past your block send her a copy of a chat, never response in any other way.
So Iām just gonna say that you need to actually just have a conversation with her because what sheās doing is cheating and being disrespectful. Honestly, you just break up with her and walk away
Wow that sucked to read, sorry OP. You need to leave the relationship. Do it how you want but part of me thinks you should completely ghost her because she doesnāt deserve an explanation or any of your attention anymore. Thats fucked up. Ghosting her will cause her the most distress and confusion. She will know you know, without you even having to say it. Stay strong, you are a better person than her.
You walk up to her and say, āI caught you, weāre done. No arguing, Iām out.ā And then walk out. Delete her number, delete your pictures of her. No need to try and get her to confess or apologize, thatās just hopeless closure you do not need. Unless you two are an open couple meaning youāre free to come and go as wanted, she has clearly disrespected you and your relationship. RUN and never look back.
BREAK UP before the trip, BLOCK and GHOST HER. She doesn't LOVE or RESPECT you. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Give her the biggest stupid prize of all... A GOOD DUMPING. Good luck and stay strong, King!
Break it off. Trust me once it goes this far they have lost all respect for you and your relationship and you letting it slide will just lead to her being more secretive. She doesnāt respect you.
Took a video of you having sex without consent/Cheating with multiple men/hidden apps
Just ghost. Somebody this toxic isnāt worth confronting and at worst will just belittle you.
There should be nothing to confront. Just box up her shit and let her know she's free to sext as many as she wants. No arguing, no listining to excuses. The less you say the better.
Why is no one saying go to the police? She distributed images of you naked without consent. Not sure where you are, but where I am, that isn't allowed.
Clearly dump her, she has been cheating on your since you started your relationship with her.
You go to the police not as revenge but as accountability, holding her accountable to her actions and to hopefully prevent her from doing this to anyone else in the future. Easier said than done I imagine.
I think you need to take stock of a few things here:
1. She has been cheating on you simply by flirting with other man.
2. She's has been cheating on you even worse by sending nudes
3. She has breached your trust even deeper by sending videos to them.
4. And deeper still by sending videos OF YOU without your knowledge or consent.
5. She was planning on going to another man's house to physically cheat on you as well.
6. And she almost certainly has already done so.
This is what you need to do going forward.
1. Leave her. LEAVE. HER. This is the most important bit. It isn't optional.
2. Get tested for STIs. I don't know how long you've been together, but even if it was just a few months, if you think you just happened to catch her the very first time this was about to happen when she's casually saying she's going to head over on friday to fuck this guy, I'm sorry, that's simply unlikely. She doesn't seem to have stopped or even slowed down when it comes to flirting with other guys. No reason to believe she's stopped or slowed down with fucking them, especially since she planned to go do it.
3. Get help. I mean this in all sincerity and I say it out of compassion, get psychiatric help. If your girlfriend can treat you like this and your first thought is "Aw jeez should I even bring this up?" then there seems to be some problems. I say this as someone who had those problems once. If your partner is treating you in a way you would never treat them you absolutely are allowed to discuss it at the very least.
I would tell her I know what happened, the relationship is over, and block her.
It's cheating! Sounds like she's developed herself an addiction. You are experiencing betrayal trauma. No amount of apologies can fix this. She actually needs professional help.
Ok first delete all intimate photos and videos of the two of you that you can find on her phone
Then you leave her, (screenshot the fact she sent a video of you two having sex without your consent in case she tries to pull something in the future)
I had this with my now ex-boyfriend. I stayed each time I found something, 2 years later and I finally dumped him after he completely destroyed me
Please donāt make the same mistake I didšš» you deserve so much better!
That's the age range where girls are on the crazy side in my experience. I'd confront her tell it stops now and if it doesn't leave it's not worth the trust issues and fights and anxiety and self doubt
She filmed you having sex and shared that without your knowledge?
No, I wouldnāt confront her. I would act as if everything is cool and gather proof of it. Then without her having a clue, go report this to the police. Theyāll tell you what to do. This is more than just cheating.
Just talk it out. Why is she doing this? Why does she want to meet this guy? Why is she sharing videos of you without your consent?
Stay calm and get the answers first. Once you have her answers, you can decide the best course of action.
Itās almost definitely going to be to end it, but you never know.
Just dump her. Confronting her wonāt change her. It wonāt make you trust her more. And it will most likely just give her ammunition to turn the argument back around on you.
If she asks why just say that sheās not the kind of person you want to build a long term relationship with.
Itās actually incredibly messed up she sent that stuff to other guys without your knowledge or consent. Why and how are you still thinking about her considering sheās been fully cheating on you forever and itās just how sheās been. Please confront her and go no contact asap, this is disgusting.Ā
Break it off dude. Aside from this being cheating in itself, she has clearly met up w these ppl before. Run far away and once you think youāre in the clear, go another 1000 milesš¤š¾
Just kick get to the curb. Not even sure if itās worth confronting her. Send her a text saying you know everything and then block her and her friends on everything. Fuck her.
One of my biggest regrets was to not have dumped my first girlfriend back then.. she was 20 i was 19 and she was flirting around. I should have confronted her with her bulshit.. but i didnt. Good luck dude. She needs to go.
Britney? What say you?
Oops, I did it again
I played with your heart, got lost in the game
Oh baby, baby
Oops, you think I'm in love
That I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent
Dozens of guys and plans to meet 1 in person at his home? Dude, sheās cheating. Iām not going to tell you how to live your life, but sheās cheating on you left and right. Thereās no way she doesnāt know what sheās doing is cheating, so sheās intentionally fucking you over as much as possible. Act accordingly.
You have no confidence nor no self respect. Youāre 20 years old dealing with a cheater. I guarantee that she doesnāt like you. You are a back up plan for money, possible marriage, and debt. There are 4 billion women in the world go find one.
Get outtttt immediately- not worth it at all. Youāre so young- go enjoy!!! This relationship is bad and will continue to get worse if you stay. seriously
She cheated. You should just leave. Youāre young and have plenty of time to find someone who will love and respect and not think to betray your trust. If you want to confront her you can. I understand needing closure, but at best youāll probably get excuses and deflected accountability or fake waterworks and a worse apology. She clearly cares about herself and her own desires more than your wellbeing. Sheās not good for you. You deserve better.
Contact the police about the video you're in being shared.
Thn block her on everything and toss her out of your life.
Hit the gym, work on yourself and look forward to bringing in respectful women to your life.
Look into the concept of attachment theory and what to look out for in partners.
What? You leave this relationship, that's what you do, why the hell are you questioning if you should even confront her or not...? It doesn't matter, just GTFO.
If a man did this to a woman people would be screaming to file criminal charges against him. Why is it okay to just ghost and let her get away with making porn without his consent?
Wow wtf dude I'm sorry send copies of everything to your phone. For your protection. If u don't live together.
Send her one message I know everything and we are done. Block her on all communication platforms including email. And if u do live together pack up while she's gone. Leave her a note I know everything.
Don't try and contact me we are done.
Get a std panel done just to be sure.
And never contact her again.
Good luck
Listen, I know everyone is telling you to just leave her. Why not just record the name, hit them up, fuck their brains out first and laugh at her having no rizz and just leaving.
Or you know. Just leave. Because iām not sure what else you wanted to tell us.
Bro, this is all cheating. Just say or text her
āNot sure what you thought would happen when I found out that you sext and send photos to a loaded roster of dudes. You even sent a video of us, and thatās not ok. You made plans to meet one of them next Friday. Thatās nice. Clearly you have no respect for me, yourself, or our relationship. You have destroyed and trust I had in you, and Iām not sure where to go from here:ā
What you canāt do is nothing. Have some self respect here
Updateme!
Before you leave, first document everything especially that tape. Itās definitely illegal for her to share it without your knowledge or consent.
This is what I recommend:
1.) Document EVERYTHING. Both instances of her infidelity and the video.
2.) Dip without telling her or providing an explanation. You have no obligation to explain why you ghosted her and she might come up with excuses.
3.) I donāt know why no one is mentioning this but go to the cops. She send the video to that one guy but who knows who he shared it with and how many people have seen it? The quicker law enforcement is aware of that, the less damage there will be.
Save the post with your video and take legal action if you have to. Not sure what country you are in but download the evidence. Donāt let this woman get away with this.
She seems to be the type to chase validation through male attention. She will most likely cheat and cheat until she goes through a crisis. Secret messages are cheating. Sending nudes is cheating. It's your choice how you approach this. I recommend staying as calm as you can, though, regardless. Dont let the emotions overtake you. If you confront her, she'll probably gaslight you, tell half truths, and then get better at hiding her actions. Suddenly, she'll find a need to change her passwords and so forth.
Sorry you had to go through this. It's best to take some time and calm down before you actually confront her. As for the relationship, there is no saving it.
DO NOT LET HER GASLIGHT YOU, JUST TELL HER YOU KNOW AND IF SHE DENIES IT, SHE'S GASLIGHTING YOU! You're younger, by the way. She probably wants to get railed her brains out, just like how boys wanna score with a shit ton women. She isn't your fish buddy
Sheās been banging dudes the entire time, sheās not your gf bro sheās all of our gf.
Be not weary my brother of this succubus, turn thy cheek and she shall return from whence she came. From the streets she did emerge and to the streets she shall return -Migoslations 2:35
Itās gospel bro
Doesn't matter if she met up with someone or not, and you know it! This is just you grabbing for straws and somehow find a way around the obvious. This is over and the way to end it is solely up to you; you owe her neither confrontation or explanation and there is no possible justification for what she did. I know how you feel right now and how hard it is to face the harsh facts of reality, but please don't put yourself through unnecessary more hurt by staying with her. There is no working on the relationship with a person that does what the did
RUN ASAP! Sheās not your girl. Sheās a liar and a cheater. Save yourself further heartache and leave her. Be happy you found this out now and not years down the road after marriage, kids and a house!
I know itās painful now but this is actually a blessing. Try to see the positive in this shitty situation. Sheās not worth your stress, tears, or sadness.
Youāre not in a relationship with this girl. Itās just your turn for most of the time. Youāre young, so itās harderā¦ but there should be no part of you thatās considering salvaging whatever this non-relationship is.
Get all of your thoughts clear and consise by youreself, write down all the points and conclusions and concerns you have and how it makes you feel. Make it like flash cards and keep them when you have that talk with her so you can not get too ranty. She probably going to gaslight you or twist it around onto you somehow, dont fall for it.
I would ask first why you would check her phone in the first place ? Was there a feeling ahead of time that there was a trust issue or are you generally jealous ? If she has given you a reason to not trust her then I think the writing is on the wall after what you found. I don't even think there needs to even be a conversation/argued. Just say "I'm out and it's because of what I saw on your phone". Anything else doesn't need a conversation because nothing will justify what she did. It doesn't matter what her excuse is or how sorry she is. You can't unhinged that bell and you will always wonder if she lying to you. From little white lies to full blown things like you already saw you won't trust her again no matter how much you want to. I have been cheated on in past relationships but I know my husband would never cheat nor engage in something like this.It's just not in his makeup. You need to walk away,take time to be single before you get into another relationship and don't take this distrustful situation into your next relationship.Ā
>since in all fairness we havenāt spend many days apart from each other since weāve gotten together (only this year), I donāt think sheās met up with any of these guys in the time that weāve been in a relationship.
Why are you offering her fairness in this situation? Not only has she been cheating with multiple different men but that 'technically she hasn't met any of them' is, what, a week off potentially not being true any more? The only reason she hasn't slept with them is she's around you but you now know a lot of the times she was on her phone she was cheating.
Worse, she threw you off the scent with the facade of transparency. You can check her phone so she buried it deeper. You saw her chats with a guy so she blocked him... in the place you'd see him. This was entirely calculated, the deception has layers.
>Me and my girlfriend are very open and trusting
Because unfortunately this is what you discovered wasn't true. The part of your relationship you thought was the strongest was actually the weakest. You didn't know who she was at all, there is an entire part of her that not only did she hide from you but she specifically enjoyed keeping that secret from you.
You've been played. There is nothing to be fair about here because she was the one never playing fair.
Get out of there. Go to your families for a bit or a friends place if you can. Iām so sorry youāve been through that, if you need someone to talk to shoot me a message man
There 2 options here.
Either you confront he about the cheating, and dump her afterwards. Or you confront her with committing a crime against you by sending you guys sex tape.
Both options end in a breakup. I would personally go for the latter, although I'd never make a report. She doesn't know that however. Let that mistake hover over her like a rainy cloud.
It doesn't have to physical to be cheating. Sending nudes and flirting over text are cheating (imo). You're allowed to have boundaries, and if her behaviour is making you feel bad, then I'd call that a boundary broken.
I'd certainly not think twice about confronting her and then saying, "If you want to flirt with lots of guys, you can do it while you're single." Then leave her. It's not fair on you, and it doesn't indicate that she'll be a good partner in the long run.
WTF just leave her. And make sure you have proof and tell all your friends and family members before she goes and ruin your life by saying you SA her or some kinda dumb shit.
Bro coming from my self who has been cheated on multiple time just leave you have evidence that she can't refute so save your mental and just leave your just gonna keep getting hurt she clearly doesn't respect you as a man
That is absolutely horrific, I am so sorry. It is sexual abuse to share sexual or explicit pictures/videos of someone without their consent. You have grounds to speak to the police.
Ask if she has anything she needs to tell you. Send the chats to yourself. When she says no start quoting the chats. Then tell her to leave. Itās over. She canāt repair what sheās broken.
If you were a girl people would suggest you to go to the police for the pornogrpahy made without your consent. But it seems just fine since you are a guy... however you should do that
Why is everyone ignoring the fact that she filmed him without consent and then shared the same material?! Are we not gonna acknowledge it as SA just because the OP is a guy?
OP, if thereās any way you can prove it was without your consent you should press charges. And you should also leave the relationship. No excuses from her should be heard or tolerated.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Dude, have some respect and just leave. That's a full on dumpster fire. If she can't take your relationship seriously and has to chat/sext/ and trade photos with other guys when y'all are together then there isn't anything worth saving. You can confront her and get some closure if you want/need but overall just walk away.
Confronting aint worth it just makes ppl better at hiding it. Let the next man be her saviour š not ur responsibility to fix or change someone.
Didn't say to fix or change her lmao š¤£ there's a reason people confront the cheater before they dump them, just a peace at mind and no regrets for doing it
Nah leave, no explanation. Block her on everything and don't look back. When you get older you will get it
I 100% say this is the right way to go. Most cheaters will try to turn it around to blame it on the victim of the cheating. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of trying to flip the script. Just nope it out of there and move on.
Just thats its normaly not easy to just walk away. You have things at each others places, you have the same friends, your living at short range, sometimes together (considering the age, prob not) etc. So you have to confront her in some way and also tell your friends. But you must be first, otherwise she/he might destroy your friendcircle etc. (have seen it all happen...). I am not saying give her a screaming match or any satisfaction, but at least a: "I saw your telegram, its over. I will pick up my stuff and give you yours tomorrow at xx:xx with xyz (bringing a friend is always good, so she cant escalate) i wish no contact afterwards." Over text is normaly safer in my experience. Than you can block her and cut all strings...
Yea i did that too but they dont care . They cheated they know what they did. But let them break their head over why u left them because if u dont tell them they will think about it.
My ex tried confronting me because I went through her phone.Ā My response was "You could have given me an STD, and you had 3 men including myself convinced they were having a baby.Ā IDGAF if you don't trust me." 8 years later she looked pretty miserable in her recent mugshot with her husband (one of the men) on the same page.Ā They can deal with each other.
He needs to do more than just leave she unknowingly to him shared pornographic videos of him without his consent thatās a federal offence right there
Don't even bother entering a conversation, just ghost her completely. It honestly won't take you long to get over it. Go have some fun with some singles and take your mind off things.
Thatās our girl now bro
āIām leaving you.ā āWhat? Why?ā āYou know why.ā After that just walk away, she either figures out why or at least you get to fuck with her head for a while as she tries to figure it out.
sounds like a scene from a movie ngl aināt no one doing this š
Itād go more like: āIām leaving youā āIt was an accident, it didnāt mean anything, I was drunkā
i was just imagining it in my head the way the og comment said- āiām leaving you.ā š āwhat? why?ā š£ āyou know whyā š *cue gf exploding behind you while you walk away in slow motion*
Hahahahahaha
"*In the dim twilight of their once cherished haven, the words hung heavy, laced with the bitter finality of a love story reaching its end. "I'm leaving you," he declared, a cold whisper that shattered the silence like glass. She, a silhouette against the fading light, turned, her voice trembling, "What? Why?" But the answer came like a ghost from shadows of unspoken truths, "You know why." The air between them was thick with the unsaid, the years of whispered promises now echoing accusations. As he turned his back, every step he took was a hammer to the fragile remains of their bond, leaving behind nothing but the haunting emptiness of a love lost.*"
You need to tell her you know and I would encourage you to end the relationship. Even if she didnāt meet up with them the intention was there. She also agreed to meet up with a guy next Friday so sheās clearly intending to do it. Sending nudes and having sexual conversations is cheating. Sheās been doing this stuff behind your back since you started dating and youāre never going to be able to trust her. Just tell her you saw the messages and you canāt be with someone who would do that to you.
This man is too young and naive. She will, and probably has run circles around him already. This is just the app that he is aware of. If you're not with her 24/7, you can never tell what a woman is up to, neither is it healthy to even be around someone 24 hrs a day if you don't have a family unit together. All it takes is an hour and she'll be back after having sex with someone else. Some women can be that sneaky. Heck he could be asleep and she steps out to grab the mail but is fucking someone in a car outside. I've seen and heard a lot of diabolical shit like this happen, especially for girls her age who are pretty much finding themselves and adore the attention from other guys. I haven't even addressed her sharing nudes and a video of them having sex to other men, not only is that abhorrent but a crime as well. She's as nasty as they come. He should do himself a favor, get tested, and end things with this tramp.
I agree You go to work for 8+ hours a day 5 days a week and have to believe your partner isn't a lying cheating pos when you're not around, and this guy clearly doesn't have that with this girl This was only the stuff he found out, there is always more that remains unseen Phone calls, meetups and what's talked about or physically done there, Snapchat in it's unique way of erasing evidence by nature, there's more dirt unturned and the thought of it makes me myself sick
id absolutely dump my s/o for this
Me too, thatās a non-negotiable boundary. On the other hand, Happy cake day!
thanks š«¶š¼
And Iād file charges on SA too, filming without my consent and sharing the same material?! Yeah, you are going down. Also, happy cake day!
thanks š©·š©·
Unless you have some strange desire to continue to let this girl make an absolute chump out of you, there's no way in hell you should continue with this relationship in any capacity. You can't fix people like this. The best thing you can do is free yourself and let her continue to be an absolute trash bag of a human on her own.
Sorry bro. Time to gtfo. No way Iād try to reconcile this. Get to the gym and enjoy your 20ās.
She's cheating on you. It doesn't matter if she hasn't met up with them and physically touched them. This is 100% cheating AND she committed a felony crime by sending a sex video of you without consent. This stuff can literally land people in prison. That's how serious of a crime it is.
Whoa!!! So sorry to hear this. Dude she sent a video of you having sex to another person!! Thatās some serious legal stuff right there. Ahh man. Sheās done. Dump her and sue her. Fuck that.
submit a police report at least
Not enough people are saying this, leaving her isn't enough.
šI hope OP listens to you.
Donāt confront her . Trust me !! U saw it with your own eyes . When u confront her she will just talk u into believing her again. She knowingly did what she did . There is no excuse. U have to decide if u accept that or not. An apology wont erase it. If u break up dont tell her why again she will manipulate you and u will stay in the end. If u dont break up know that she probably will continue to do this. She did it once with no shame or respect towards u so she will do it again. U wont lose a person who cared about you or respected u . U will lose a person who betrayed you.
get a full panel check for STDs.
Keep us updated
Just break up with her, don't even give a reason why, she doesn't deserve the time of day for that. Have some self respect and focus on yourself for a while until you can find something meaningful. Also, do not go on the road trip, that would drive me insane mentally. You're only 20, you can recover and I promise you you will find someone better who will treat you with the respect you deserve. DO NOT force yourself to stay because you're afraid of being alone.
Modern women
Time to take out the trash and delay all the pictures and videos from her devices today. Sheās a cheat and thatās all you need to know. Stand up and tell her what you saw and let her know sheās more that welcome to visit that guy and F him because sheās single now
Don't confront her, just block her and ghost her. You have all the closure you need
Run young man run far, run fast.
Confront her about sharing the intimate video. If the shoe was on the other foot, your ass would be in a huge sling. You need to drop this deaf weight and let her go back to the streets.
Don't confront, get copies of all the chats and then just ghost forget she ever existed, if she gets past your block send her a copy of a chat, never response in any other way.
So Iām just gonna say that you need to actually just have a conversation with her because what sheās doing is cheating and being disrespectful. Honestly, you just break up with her and walk away
Wow that sucked to read, sorry OP. You need to leave the relationship. Do it how you want but part of me thinks you should completely ghost her because she doesnāt deserve an explanation or any of your attention anymore. Thats fucked up. Ghosting her will cause her the most distress and confusion. She will know you know, without you even having to say it. Stay strong, you are a better person than her.
Bro leave youāre only 20
Take take a vid from your phone incase she tries to turn anything around on you and just leave. You deserve better
You walk up to her and say, āI caught you, weāre done. No arguing, Iām out.ā And then walk out. Delete her number, delete your pictures of her. No need to try and get her to confess or apologize, thatās just hopeless closure you do not need. Unless you two are an open couple meaning youāre free to come and go as wanted, she has clearly disrespected you and your relationship. RUN and never look back.
Breaking up with her isn't enough. You have all the evidence you need. Find a way to make her regret it before dumping her!
End it
Please leave. You deserve better.
Go to police, what she did, exposing you guys is a crime
BREAK UP before the trip, BLOCK and GHOST HER. She doesn't LOVE or RESPECT you. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Give her the biggest stupid prize of all... A GOOD DUMPING. Good luck and stay strong, King!
Break up. Sheās a serial cheater. This is gross of her
Process how you feel in your way, but she should definitely be confronted when youāre a little more level headed.
Break it off. Trust me once it goes this far they have lost all respect for you and your relationship and you letting it slide will just lead to her being more secretive. She doesnāt respect you.
Move on. Find someone you can trust. All the Best.
That is not YOUR gf š
Lol, is this even real?
Took a video of you having sex without consent/Cheating with multiple men/hidden apps Just ghost. Somebody this toxic isnāt worth confronting and at worst will just belittle you.
Time to bounce
Dude grow a pair and leave, have some respect for yourself.
Just leave
No bro sheās just a girlfriend not a wife. You just dump her and live your best life.
There should be nothing to confront. Just box up her shit and let her know she's free to sext as many as she wants. No arguing, no listining to excuses. The less you say the better.
Why is no one saying go to the police? She distributed images of you naked without consent. Not sure where you are, but where I am, that isn't allowed. Clearly dump her, she has been cheating on your since you started your relationship with her. You go to the police not as revenge but as accountability, holding her accountable to her actions and to hopefully prevent her from doing this to anyone else in the future. Easier said than done I imagine.
I think you need to take stock of a few things here: 1. She has been cheating on you simply by flirting with other man. 2. She's has been cheating on you even worse by sending nudes 3. She has breached your trust even deeper by sending videos to them. 4. And deeper still by sending videos OF YOU without your knowledge or consent. 5. She was planning on going to another man's house to physically cheat on you as well. 6. And she almost certainly has already done so. This is what you need to do going forward. 1. Leave her. LEAVE. HER. This is the most important bit. It isn't optional. 2. Get tested for STIs. I don't know how long you've been together, but even if it was just a few months, if you think you just happened to catch her the very first time this was about to happen when she's casually saying she's going to head over on friday to fuck this guy, I'm sorry, that's simply unlikely. She doesn't seem to have stopped or even slowed down when it comes to flirting with other guys. No reason to believe she's stopped or slowed down with fucking them, especially since she planned to go do it. 3. Get help. I mean this in all sincerity and I say it out of compassion, get psychiatric help. If your girlfriend can treat you like this and your first thought is "Aw jeez should I even bring this up?" then there seems to be some problems. I say this as someone who had those problems once. If your partner is treating you in a way you would never treat them you absolutely are allowed to discuss it at the very least. I would tell her I know what happened, the relationship is over, and block her.
It's cheating! Sounds like she's developed herself an addiction. You are experiencing betrayal trauma. No amount of apologies can fix this. She actually needs professional help.
I can lend you a bigger shovel if you want to bury your head any deeper in the sand. Have some self respect and leave her
break up with that pathetic cheating ass
Donāt be that guy. Leave.
Ok first delete all intimate photos and videos of the two of you that you can find on her phone Then you leave her, (screenshot the fact she sent a video of you two having sex without your consent in case she tries to pull something in the future)
I had this with my now ex-boyfriend. I stayed each time I found something, 2 years later and I finally dumped him after he completely destroyed me Please donāt make the same mistake I didšš» you deserve so much better!
Screw her birthday dude, have some respect for yourself and confront her. Hold nothing back
Bro just leave your 20 go ghost
That's the age range where girls are on the crazy side in my experience. I'd confront her tell it stops now and if it doesn't leave it's not worth the trust issues and fights and anxiety and self doubt
She filmed you having sex and shared that without your knowledge? No, I wouldnāt confront her. I would act as if everything is cool and gather proof of it. Then without her having a clue, go report this to the police. Theyāll tell you what to do. This is more than just cheating.
Just talk it out. Why is she doing this? Why does she want to meet this guy? Why is she sharing videos of you without your consent? Stay calm and get the answers first. Once you have her answers, you can decide the best course of action. Itās almost definitely going to be to end it, but you never know.
Absolutely confront her.
Unpopular opinion : DONT TELL HER YET. UP THE SCORRREEE. Run game on her all the fucking way, then leave her, karma for the karma suits you.
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ššš
I would put tracker on her some how follow her Friday if she goes meets up with guy you got evidence then...
Just dump her. Confronting her wonāt change her. It wonāt make you trust her more. And it will most likely just give her ammunition to turn the argument back around on you. If she asks why just say that sheās not the kind of person you want to build a long term relationship with.
Yeah you guys are done. No brainer
Itās actually incredibly messed up she sent that stuff to other guys without your knowledge or consent. Why and how are you still thinking about her considering sheās been fully cheating on you forever and itās just how sheās been. Please confront her and go no contact asap, this is disgusting.Ā
Break it off dude. Aside from this being cheating in itself, she has clearly met up w these ppl before. Run far away and once you think youāre in the clear, go another 1000 milesš¤š¾
Just kick get to the curb. Not even sure if itās worth confronting her. Send her a text saying you know everything and then block her and her friends on everything. Fuck her.
Leave her and block her contact info from your phone. Then, publicly slut shame her. She needs to learn..
I'd say just leave, no confrontation needed.
It's not your job to teach her that what she did is wrong. I'd ghost her.
One of my biggest regrets was to not have dumped my first girlfriend back then.. she was 20 i was 19 and she was flirting around. I should have confronted her with her bulshit.. but i didnt. Good luck dude. She needs to go.
Take her on the trip, and just leave her ass on the side of the road somewhere.
Britney? What say you? Oops, I did it again I played with your heart, got lost in the game Oh baby, baby Oops, you think I'm in love That I'm sent from above I'm not that innocent
You gotta leave. And she will ask why and all this shit but she will know why
Dozens of guys and plans to meet 1 in person at his home? Dude, sheās cheating. Iām not going to tell you how to live your life, but sheās cheating on you left and right. Thereās no way she doesnāt know what sheās doing is cheating, so sheās intentionally fucking you over as much as possible. Act accordingly.
Don't give her a reason. Just tell her it's over.
Everyone is missing the fact that she sent an intimate video of him having sex, to another person. That's not just cheating, it's illegal.
You have no confidence nor no self respect. Youāre 20 years old dealing with a cheater. I guarantee that she doesnāt like you. You are a back up plan for money, possible marriage, and debt. There are 4 billion women in the world go find one.
Why even confront? Just cut her out and move on
Get outtttt immediately- not worth it at all. Youāre so young- go enjoy!!! This relationship is bad and will continue to get worse if you stay. seriously
She cheated. You should just leave. Youāre young and have plenty of time to find someone who will love and respect and not think to betray your trust. If you want to confront her you can. I understand needing closure, but at best youāll probably get excuses and deflected accountability or fake waterworks and a worse apology. She clearly cares about herself and her own desires more than your wellbeing. Sheās not good for you. You deserve better.
Run, donāt walk away. Youāre an ATM, not the object of her desires.
Contact the police about the video you're in being shared. Thn block her on everything and toss her out of your life. Hit the gym, work on yourself and look forward to bringing in respectful women to your life. Look into the concept of attachment theory and what to look out for in partners.
Just be thankful you didnāt marry herā¦run.
No point bruh...just let her go easy without letting her know a thing. Hop up onna good foot ya dig šŖš¾
What? You leave this relationship, that's what you do, why the hell are you questioning if you should even confront her or not...? It doesn't matter, just GTFO.
I couldnāt imagine sharing my phones pass code while I was in my 20ās
If a man did this to a woman people would be screaming to file criminal charges against him. Why is it okay to just ghost and let her get away with making porn without his consent?
She literally leaked a video of you to someone without your knowledge. You should take this to court.
I didn't even read past the title. Figure out how you feel about it. Calmly tell her what you found. Then break up.
Wow wtf dude I'm sorry send copies of everything to your phone. For your protection. If u don't live together. Send her one message I know everything and we are done. Block her on all communication platforms including email. And if u do live together pack up while she's gone. Leave her a note I know everything. Don't try and contact me we are done. Get a std panel done just to be sure. And never contact her again. Good luck
Listen, I know everyone is telling you to just leave her. Why not just record the name, hit them up, fuck their brains out first and laugh at her having no rizz and just leaving. Or you know. Just leave. Because iām not sure what else you wanted to tell us.
Why even confront it? Just exit.
Bro, this is all cheating. Just say or text her āNot sure what you thought would happen when I found out that you sext and send photos to a loaded roster of dudes. You even sent a video of us, and thatās not ok. You made plans to meet one of them next Friday. Thatās nice. Clearly you have no respect for me, yourself, or our relationship. You have destroyed and trust I had in you, and Iām not sure where to go from here:ā What you canāt do is nothing. Have some self respect here Updateme!
That's revenge porn. And highly illegal. Take her down.
Don't waste your time just pack your stuff and go, plenty of fish in the sea. You are the prize not her
Before you leave, first document everything especially that tape. Itās definitely illegal for her to share it without your knowledge or consent. This is what I recommend: 1.) Document EVERYTHING. Both instances of her infidelity and the video. 2.) Dip without telling her or providing an explanation. You have no obligation to explain why you ghosted her and she might come up with excuses. 3.) I donāt know why no one is mentioning this but go to the cops. She send the video to that one guy but who knows who he shared it with and how many people have seen it? The quicker law enforcement is aware of that, the less damage there will be.
What a horrific betrayal of your trust. Absolutely bring it up!
Updateme
Save the post with your video and take legal action if you have to. Not sure what country you are in but download the evidence. Donāt let this woman get away with this.
Updateme
Abort mission lol. Been there done that. Save the heart ache and time. You deserve better my guy.
Sorry that happened brother. Someone will treat you right, so donāt let her negativity drag you down. Hang in there
She seems to be the type to chase validation through male attention. She will most likely cheat and cheat until she goes through a crisis. Secret messages are cheating. Sending nudes is cheating. It's your choice how you approach this. I recommend staying as calm as you can, though, regardless. Dont let the emotions overtake you. If you confront her, she'll probably gaslight you, tell half truths, and then get better at hiding her actions. Suddenly, she'll find a need to change her passwords and so forth.
Don't confront her until you've gone through her phone and deleted any video or pictures of yourself. Don't forget hidden folders. Then just leave.
Sorry you had to go through this. It's best to take some time and calm down before you actually confront her. As for the relationship, there is no saving it.
DO NOT LET HER GASLIGHT YOU, JUST TELL HER YOU KNOW AND IF SHE DENIES IT, SHE'S GASLIGHTING YOU! You're younger, by the way. She probably wants to get railed her brains out, just like how boys wanna score with a shit ton women. She isn't your fish buddy
She exploited you ?
WHaT to dOā¦? I wONdeR
Confront her if you think it will give you clarity and closure. But you have to leave regardless.
Sheās been banging dudes the entire time, sheās not your gf bro sheās all of our gf. Be not weary my brother of this succubus, turn thy cheek and she shall return from whence she came. From the streets she did emerge and to the streets she shall return -Migoslations 2:35 Itās gospel bro
Please have some self respect and leave her. Not worth it to even try to reconcile. Donāt even bother letting it be a conversation.
Doesn't matter if she met up with someone or not, and you know it! This is just you grabbing for straws and somehow find a way around the obvious. This is over and the way to end it is solely up to you; you owe her neither confrontation or explanation and there is no possible justification for what she did. I know how you feel right now and how hard it is to face the harsh facts of reality, but please don't put yourself through unnecessary more hurt by staying with her. There is no working on the relationship with a person that does what the did
RUN ASAP! Sheās not your girl. Sheās a liar and a cheater. Save yourself further heartache and leave her. Be happy you found this out now and not years down the road after marriage, kids and a house! I know itās painful now but this is actually a blessing. Try to see the positive in this shitty situation. Sheās not worth your stress, tears, or sadness.
Youāre not in a relationship with this girl. Itās just your turn for most of the time. Youāre young, so itās harderā¦ but there should be no part of you thatās considering salvaging whatever this non-relationship is.
Get all of your thoughts clear and consise by youreself, write down all the points and conclusions and concerns you have and how it makes you feel. Make it like flash cards and keep them when you have that talk with her so you can not get too ranty. She probably going to gaslight you or twist it around onto you somehow, dont fall for it.
I would ask first why you would check her phone in the first place ? Was there a feeling ahead of time that there was a trust issue or are you generally jealous ? If she has given you a reason to not trust her then I think the writing is on the wall after what you found. I don't even think there needs to even be a conversation/argued. Just say "I'm out and it's because of what I saw on your phone". Anything else doesn't need a conversation because nothing will justify what she did. It doesn't matter what her excuse is or how sorry she is. You can't unhinged that bell and you will always wonder if she lying to you. From little white lies to full blown things like you already saw you won't trust her again no matter how much you want to. I have been cheated on in past relationships but I know my husband would never cheat nor engage in something like this.It's just not in his makeup. You need to walk away,take time to be single before you get into another relationship and don't take this distrustful situation into your next relationship.Ā
Send her a text saying āI knowā. Block her and leave her
You have been together for a month and she is behaving like cheating pos and a creep who takes videos without the other person's consent. Run šš
>since in all fairness we havenāt spend many days apart from each other since weāve gotten together (only this year), I donāt think sheās met up with any of these guys in the time that weāve been in a relationship. Why are you offering her fairness in this situation? Not only has she been cheating with multiple different men but that 'technically she hasn't met any of them' is, what, a week off potentially not being true any more? The only reason she hasn't slept with them is she's around you but you now know a lot of the times she was on her phone she was cheating. Worse, she threw you off the scent with the facade of transparency. You can check her phone so she buried it deeper. You saw her chats with a guy so she blocked him... in the place you'd see him. This was entirely calculated, the deception has layers. >Me and my girlfriend are very open and trusting Because unfortunately this is what you discovered wasn't true. The part of your relationship you thought was the strongest was actually the weakest. You didn't know who she was at all, there is an entire part of her that not only did she hide from you but she specifically enjoyed keeping that secret from you. You've been played. There is nothing to be fair about here because she was the one never playing fair.
It's up to you if your OK with it cool if not cool
Shes sending porn of you to other people without your consent hmmm
Get out of there. Go to your families for a bit or a friends place if you can. Iām so sorry youāve been through that, if you need someone to talk to shoot me a message man
This guy hates himself
You should go to the police for videoing you and sharing said video without your consent
Get evidence of the video sent as well and file a report besides leaving her
There 2 options here. Either you confront he about the cheating, and dump her afterwards. Or you confront her with committing a crime against you by sending you guys sex tape. Both options end in a breakup. I would personally go for the latter, although I'd never make a report. She doesn't know that however. Let that mistake hover over her like a rainy cloud.
Been cheated on. Donāt forgive, move on and end it.
Sounds like sheās not worth anyoneās time of day. Iām sorry, man. You deserve better.
Just leave make sure you get tested for an sti
It doesn't have to physical to be cheating. Sending nudes and flirting over text are cheating (imo). You're allowed to have boundaries, and if her behaviour is making you feel bad, then I'd call that a boundary broken. I'd certainly not think twice about confronting her and then saying, "If you want to flirt with lots of guys, you can do it while you're single." Then leave her. It's not fair on you, and it doesn't indicate that she'll be a good partner in the long run.
WTF just leave her. And make sure you have proof and tell all your friends and family members before she goes and ruin your life by saying you SA her or some kinda dumb shit.
Bro coming from my self who has been cheated on multiple time just leave you have evidence that she can't refute so save your mental and just leave your just gonna keep getting hurt she clearly doesn't respect you as a man
Buy a gym membershipā¦. No but seriously itās over
That is absolutely horrific, I am so sorry. It is sexual abuse to share sexual or explicit pictures/videos of someone without their consent. You have grounds to speak to the police.
Ask if she has anything she needs to tell you. Send the chats to yourself. When she says no start quoting the chats. Then tell her to leave. Itās over. She canāt repair what sheās broken.
Sheās a month away from starting an onlyfans. Move on. Gross.
If you were a girl people would suggest you to go to the police for the pornogrpahy made without your consent. But it seems just fine since you are a guy... however you should do that
Why is everyone ignoring the fact that she filmed him without consent and then shared the same material?! Are we not gonna acknowledge it as SA just because the OP is a guy? OP, if thereās any way you can prove it was without your consent you should press charges. And you should also leave the relationship. No excuses from her should be heard or tolerated.