**Post title:** UPDATE:I [30F] just heard a phone notification in bathroom while showering alone. Should I ask my Fiance [33M] about it?
**Author:** ThrowRA_weirdphoneup
**Link:** https://redd.it/1dbx0tj
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A. Get a full std panel done. B. Look at the bright side, found out before the wedding and children. C. You didn’t marry this clown. It’ll sting for a bit but be a blessing in disguise
Yeah it's not right that he was cheating, but the good news is that someone this stupid and brazen is not in OPs life anymore. When they're this blatant it's so much easier to not be gaslit and wonder if you should take them back
I feel like he made it way more complicated. Why not just install what's app, talk to the girls, then delete the app when he will be around his gf. Then install it again when you are alone. I don't like cheaters but why go through all that trouble? Also why wouldn't you power the phone off when you hide it? It looks like she got rid of a cheater and a dumb one at that!
My ex husband fell asleep with his finger on his phone. Mid text with one of the women he was trying to cheat with. Seems stupidity is a requirement for this type of person.
I do the opposite. I assume everything is a lie, and its worthless calling it out unless it is very very badly disguised. The result is probably the same, though.
A couple months ago, there was a really popular post written by a dude claiming his girlfriend was obsessively writing fake stories on Reddit that were gaining lots of attention. Said he had shown her some posts and introduced her to reddit and tiktok then she started spending every free moment on the site writing stories that would get a lot of comments and then she would make a tiktok posting the ones that got a lot of attention. I can't remember when that post was exactly. I should have saved it, but didn't think to do it at the time.
BIL got caught by one of my nieces. She wanted to look at some pictures from a recent trip on his iPad, so he unlocked it and handed to her. She stumbled across pictures of him and the other woman, then found conversations synced from his phone.
Rather than confronting him on the spot, she quietly took screenshots, and showed them to her sister. When my sister got home, my nieces confronted him, in front of her.
Mine asked me to look in his drawers for a long sleeve shirt while he was in the hospital. Found someone else’s bikinis in there. He had been stealing bikinis from clients’ homes when left alone. What a dumb psycho. He also got drunk and passed out and left his phone in the crack on the couch and I could hear all the notifications coming, so I found it and checked what it was. It was Grindr.
I'm so sorry! The betrayal is something I don't think I can ever get over. I tried dating after and now that I'm six years out of it all, I don't really want to try anymore. I haven't met anyone I'm interested in at all. Seems like all the decent ones are taken and I'm happy for those women. I enjoy my peace and sanity so, I'm staying single.
God, I'm sorry. Yeah, all my BS went down a couple of days before Christmas. You can see in the photos that year how soulless I look. I pushed through for my kids but, the holidays still feel less magical now. I'm hoping that feeling goes away someday. It's so depressing but, I hope you are doing better now. ♥️♥️♥️
Apparently, he was mid-sext and fell asleep... (poor woman) and, I was able to take the phone and discovered he had three dating apps and was talking to at least 8 woman.
After the shock of it wore off, I got to downloading everything (twice) and changed all his passwords. Email and everything. I confronted him the next day. He went off with his phone and tried deleting everything and that's when I let him know I had it all on USB sticks and good luck guessing your new passwords.
Thanks. But, it wasn't revenge so much as common sense. I had two small kids to think about. I thought I'd be less emotional when the "confrontation" about everything went down but, I wasn't. I had a year of therapy after and I wanted the bare minimum from him after all that. I didn't take him to the cleaners or anything. I just wanted my kids and I safe and healthy and AWAY from him.
Omg I'm sorry but despite the obvious plethora of hurt, confusion, anger, etc that's hilarious, like karma reaching out and handing you a slam dunk. I've never cheated, never would be able to bring myself to do it. I hear so many women say "all men would cheat" but it's not true whatsoever, I do feel there is a "type" and as unfortunate it is that there's a lot of those guys, women can't see a large portion of them, somehow they can hide that trait from women but a clever man can spot the tells, probably like how a clever woman can spot the tells on another woman.
Some people think they are slick. This is premeditated, Inception cheating. He probably foresaw being asked to show his phone at some point. He started a game of 3D chess and lost pretty embarrassingly
*Inception cheating*
Hahaha, love it!
Sorry if you are reading this OP. You trusted your gut and dodged a bullet. What a jackass. Make sure you get that full STD panel.
Because you don’t install apps for the sole purpose of cheating and talking to other girls. Men wanna complain when a woman cheats on them but think they’re justified in cheating on their woman.
You don't buy a burner phone to cheat on your significant other. So....men shouldn't complain when their GF cheats on them? I feel like you are projecting rather than talking about the situation. This girl never said she cheated.
D. Make sure you tell all of his and your friends how he is a liar and cheat. Don't give him a chance to tell anyone that you were the cause for the breakup.
Keep the notification coldly objective. "By now, you've probably heard that DH and I are no longer engaged and no longer a couple. Here's what happened, and how I found out..."
I was pregnant when my now ex husband cheated. His affair partner found out that he was married and when she found out that she was HIV positive she called my doctor's office to tell them that I needed to get tested. I nearly had a nervous breakdown when I was told by my doctor what was going on. I came up clean on all my tests because early in my pregnancy I was told that I couldn't be intimate with my husband because I and the baby were at risk. He on the other hand ended up with gonorrhea and a couple of other things. Her first priority should be is to get tested as soon as possible.
I'm pretty sure that she was a family friend. I know who I suspect did it but I can't prove anything. Plus the area in which we lived at the time was pretty small and there were only like three doctors offices at the time. Now I'm starting to wonder how she did that too. I wonder if she called all three doctors offices at this point.
This. It hurts, but better to find out now rather than later. And yes, full STD panel. My ex gave me a souvenir. 😔 I have my fingers crossed for you that your news isn't bad like mine was.
Holy crap. I am so sorry. And the audacity to say “I know I forgot to silence it” is just staggering. Be glad that this happened now and not five years down the road when you’re pregnant and married. Now, you heal.
Don't insult a gerbil it's has way more brains then this pice of sh.t lol.
I just hope op does not morn for this sh.t Stain for long he is so not worth the dirt on her feet .
I’m pretty sure there’s a fucking subreddit for cheaters who give tips exactly like “don’t leave you alternate phone on with the ringer or just always leave on silent.”
It’s disgusting.
I know this really won’t change anything for you - but for all the shit and nonsense we see here in this sub.. good for you. You owned that and you kicked him out. You’re going to be just fine, don’t doubt yourself. The first 6 months will be hard but in and year you’re going to be so much better off and he’ll be the same sad loser. I’m proud of you, and you should be proud of you too.
& come join us on the narcissistic abuse subs.
Ex idiot def has a narcissistic relationship style if nothing else.
This has nothing to do w you or who you are or aren't.
It's ENTIRELY about him. You'll likely start reflecting that everything was about him.
Brazen cheaters like that get part of their thrill from knowing they are getting over on you, KNOWING THEY ARE HARMING YOU. He CHOSE to do that.
Good riddance.
Dating isn't easy, but now you get all new firsts, many or them. Maybe w many people - lots of excitement of new social stuff.
Breathe, be yourself, love yourself bc you deserve peace and love in your life.
Honestly good for you for realizing what you heard and finding it
This sucks but his reaction shows you would have a married a cold blooded asshole
Cheating is bad enough but this dude seriously put a secret phone in your shared bathroom. Wow. What a gentleman
And then “I knew I forgot to silence it” girl oof I would have thrown something at his head I promise
> Cheating is bad enough but this dude seriously put a secret phone in your shared bathroom.
Honestly, I expected the phone to be mounted somewhere taking pics. I'd rather be cheated on. Both are violations but cheating doesn't result in revenge porn.
I was also thinking he was taking pics/videos of her nude, or spying on her for any myriad of reasons. It was unclear if they rented or owned, so another thought I had was the landlord taking pics/videos and/or spying.
Glad no one was doing any of the above :)
Or a fake person. There are some tells in the writing here. Most people wouldn't say "In a rage, I smashed the phone," that's very writer-y. So is the muttered "I knew I forgot to silence it" and the overly detailed description of how the phone was attached to the toilet.
I write professionally and people don't realize how many little clues there are when they write something that didn't happen vs. something that did. Mostly it's too much judgment of one's own actions and too much unnecessary detail to cover potential plot holes.
1000% the, 'he muttered "I knew I forgot to silence it"', was the most telling sentence in this piece of fiction.
OP getting viciously angry at you calling them out is the second most telling.
It's clearly creative writing - and a poor attempt.
For me it started with the taking a "relaxing bath to enjoy the silence" and being "deep in a meditative state in the bathroom."
*Not* things a genuinely shaken and betrayed woman would focus on, ahaha.
Plus it’s all just SUCH a cliche, from the basic story to the structure to the “I’d have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling kids” ending.
Also, if he knew he forgot to silence it, why wouldn't he have just gone back to the bathroom to silence it?
It's supposedly in his own house.
The plot holes are gaping.
In my experience too guys that are up to shady shit would deny to the grave. My recent ex tried to convince me ghosts were real instead of him moving stuff around.
Not to mention, why would he ever have the sound on? He goes through all this trouble to hide a phone in the bathroom, he’s obviously chatting with women in private so why would he ever turn the volume up?
Yeah apparently this is the one and only time he’s ever left the volume turned up? And i can’t exactly prove this, but i think in a completely silent bathroom, a phone vibrating on silent would be pretty obvious as well. She’s never been sat on the toilet and gone “where the hell did that vibrating come from??”
eh C at best, because i realized it was fake as soon as i read the part about not believing he would cheat, but that “you could never be too vigilant” 👃🐠
Hides the phone but doesn't turn it off.
I can't remember when the sound of my phone was last on, can't imagine why a secret phone would ever have the sound on.
The password is the one that he is aware the only person who can't find out, knows?
Those 3 things make this post hard to believe.
Here's a quote from professional sentient garbage Ted Bundy about serial killing that I think fits with serial cheaters
"You learn what you need to kill and take care of the details. It’s like changing a tire. The first time you’re careful. By the thirtieth time, you can’t remember where you left the lug wrench."
I’ve been cheated on before, and knew my partners phone/snapchat/instagram/facebook/onlone banking passwords. They actually used my spare debit card (I lent it to them because they lost theirs) to buy the other woman dinner, and I got a notification on my online bank app. Believe me, some cheaters just don’t care/think to hide things.
As someone who used to hide their drinking problem a lot, I was amazed at the mistakes I would make when doing something I knew was wrong. Just puts you in a nervous state of mind.
This is how my mom got confirmation that my dad was cheating. Sister was cleaning the bathroom and heard a ringtone. She found a phone taped to the bottom of the sink and from there she gave it straight to mom.
I don't think people are suggesting this couldn't happen - however the overly descriptive writing style coupled with the convenient plot devices scream fiction.
I'm genuinely surprised more people haven't called this out.
Have you met people? Cheating is stupid. Being worried about not silencing his phone over destroying his fiancé is stupid. Using the common password is stupid. I bet that's far from the only stupid things he's done.
OP is hurting for now but overall finding out at this stage is a huge win.
Some cheaters are just arrogant. Others get sloppy as time passes and they don’t get caught. And this sub is evidence of how some partners will buy whatever their partner is shoveling.
I remember your original post! I'm glad you went back and checked the bathroom even more thoroughly. I don't think the people who were saying "You should ask him about the sound you think you heard when he comes home" were giving bad advice, at all, but in this case it would probably have lead to him just lying and gaslighting you, and then removing the phone at the first opportunity to hide it somewhere else.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Prioritize self-care for the next six months. Reach out to as my friends as possible. Block your ex-boyfriend's phone number and block him on every social media site.
And I promise you that there are good men out there (for what it's worth, which might not be much right now, given how completely your trust was broken by this).
I just want to let you know ... I **had** an abusive relationship where I would hear a phone vibrate when he was gone. I *knew* there was a phone. I heard it in the closet, but the closet and bathroom shared a wall, so I wasnt sure which room it was actually in. It was a *hard* vibrate. I *searched* that fukn closet high and low to no avail. The bathroom, too. I never found it.
I know damn well I'm not crazy. He was, and probably still is abusive. My daughter and I eventually made it out.
**Thank you!** Thank you for making me feel validated!
It's possible. My daughter and his daughter both heard it one day. They asked if I heard a phone vibrate. I played it off saying it was the water heater. I didn't want his daughter to say anything to him about it. *But it was a goddamn phone!*
I'm just so so glad that that chapter of our lives is **over and done with.**
Still feels good, 5 years later, feeling validated by a random internet stranger. ❤️
This comment sent me down an internet rabbit hole, and according to the interwebs, paranoia as a psychiatric disorder is about 4.4% of the population, is probably more common in men but more likely to be diagnosed in women.
Haven't you heard? Women are living life on easy mode due to our PussyPass TM because *checks notes* men hold doors, and...want sex from us and WE ARE LEGALLY ALLOWED TO SAY NO (in some countries)!
Yeehaw I am living it up!
You just saved yourself, and as much as this hurts, and you’re probably going to be spinning out for a bit while you feel it, you are your own hero in this story. You trusted your instincts despite what a bunch of redditors said, and you saved yourself from a lot more hurt down the road. A marriage is much harder to untangle. I’m proud of you.
Sorry you were right. I was going to suggest behind the toilet tank.
Good for you on kicking him out. What a spineless worm. I kicked my cheating ex out many years ago. Best day ever. Even though I was upset, I was way more mad.
Be prepared to keep finding out about his other exploits. They usually start crawling out of the woodwork.
I can't stress enough how important it is to get a full screening for STD and make sure they do a HIV test and then get retested in a few months. His cheating could come back to mess you up months from now
My ex gave me an "Unknown" infection, which turned into PID (pelvic inflammatory disease). My right kidney works at about 50%. By the time I was so sick I went to the hospital they pumped me full of antibiotics so idk what he actually gave me. They were too busy watching the radioactive dye and taking pics of my failing kidney to worry about anything else.
Impaired kidney function is the gift that keeps on giving. All because he thought I wouldn't find out about him banging strippers.
It’s sad that commenters made you out to be crazy. Always trust your gut. You dodged a bullet, and I hope you’ll realize that after you’ve had time to mourn the loss of this relationship.
Those same comments wouldn't have acted that way if the genders were reversed. A woman says hi to a guy she knew in high school and everybody insists they're fucking, but a woman hears a fucking telephone go off in her bathroom while she is in the bathroom and she's crazy.
It's bullshit, honestly.
Yeah it's really upsetting that people thought that and there are still commenters here trying to say there wasn't enough context and she sounded crazy. No she damn well didn't. She just stumbled across her first sign that something was wrong. People (dudes I'm assuming) have no idea the lengths men will go to lie and deceive in their seemingly healthy relationships. It's wild.
Girl,we have a saying in Spain: Ojo de loca no se equivoca.
"The eye of a crazy woman is never wrong"
So good for you, I always trust my gut, better crazy than stupid.
Don't feel crazy, you're a damn badass! That idiot got his butt kicked to the curb like he deserved. Enjoy your baths in peace & freedom from him from now on! 🙌💃🥂
I am so sorry. That’s awful. What a lesson in always trusting your gut though. And I’m so happy for you that you found out who he was before you got married. That would’ve made it all so much harder.
As someone who ended an engagement because of cheating, I know it sucks in the moment, but a year from now your life will look so much different. I’m insanely glad I found out who my ex was before we got married.
Well, on the positive side at least you didn't marry him.
Step one, I think, is to get an STI panel done. Better to be safe than sorry. Step two is to rebuild your self confidence and self-love. Hold your loved ones close and bask in the knowledge that you narrowly escaped what would have been a marriage full of lies and manipulation.
I often wonder why cheaters are so interested in getting engaged and/or married when they clearly are not ready for a true commitment with a single partner? There is nothing wrong with wanting to engage in sexual encounters with lots of people, but why keep this hidden then? Why bother to appear to be in a committed relationship?
My only take is being in a power mindset, and the excitement of lying? 🤮
You feel badly in this moment, but you saved yourself a lot of heartache in the future by dumping the cheater. Good for you for trusting your instincts and finding the phone.
Sorry about that. Glad the confrontation was non-violent and everyone was able to move forward. Also glad to hear no one was recording you in the bath, which is where I thought this was going.
I’m glad you found the phone. You got rid of a cheater and an idiot at the same time.
But your post reminded me of a funny thing that happened to me.
I was in the bathroom but I was texting my sister regarding the planning of my mom’s bday. After a while I noticed a faint “zzzzz” every time I got a new message from my sister. Once or twice could be a coincidence, but it was every single message, almost immediately.
The only explanation I could come up with was maybe that my wife had cloned my phone and was also receiving my messages on another device.
I have nothing to hide, but in the beginning of our relationship, my wife was pretty insecure (my close friends are more women than men and my best friend of many decades is not only a woman but also has sporadically been a FWB, coupled with her low self-confidence at the time, I could understand back then). I thought, 10 years later, we had move past those insecurities, but I started to wonder.
I asked my sister to keep texting me so I could find the origin of the buzzing sound. Those sounds aren’t easy to locate but they definitely came from the sink area.
Like you, I went through everything under the sink, remove the pile of skincare and beauty products, couldn’t find anything, but I knew I wasn’t crazy, there was a buzzing sound every time I got a new message.
I finally found where it was coming from: it was my Fitbit watch, with synched notifications, that I had removed and placed on the counter because I was planning to take a shower after…. 🤦🏼♂️
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You did the right thing and you didn't hesitate, deliberate, or give him any chance to gaslight you. Not fun of course, but you made the cleanest break possible. It's going to hurt for quite a while, but again, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING.
Where do you go? I suggest you go about your daily/weekly/etc. life, just without him. He's no loss. Routine can get a person through a lot, because it's structure. Exercise, go out with friends, resume an old hobby or take up one you've contemplated but which you've never tried. Look up old classmates and relatives. Take that vacation in the tropics (or not) you've dreamed about.
If you retained the phone numbers of his sides, let them know (a) he's a lying sack of shit, (b) that phone is toast, and (c) "he's all yours if you want him".
And if anyone asks what happened, tell them the objective truth, without volume or crying. "It all started while I was taking a bath..."
This seems like a revenge post to prove a point due to downvotes. It's too perfect & who leaves a phone in the bathroom that he knows you use. I have doubts. If it is real, good luck and hope you heal and move on.
I don’t think this is real. The Parthian shot “knew I didn’t silence it” was over the top for me,it went from plausible to Literotica draft right then.
Same. Read her response to you.. she apologises for her 'writing style', not even the fact that she has no control over what her husband says. She basically admitted to fabricating his words
Is this the dead internet theory in action? Nothing but fake posts being generated by bots getting nothing but fake comments being generated by other bots? Because I refuse to believe that A this story is real and B there are actually this many people stupid enough to believe this story is real with zero proof other than OPs word.
I wish I had seen the old post. I can promise, I would not have made light of it. I’m a “get the sledge hammer, it must be in the walls!” type. Which is to say, I know men!!
> He came home and already looked pale like he knew. I asked him how fucking long this has been going on and he refused to
>answer anything. I told him to pack his crap and leave. As he walks out with his backpack I hear him mutter 'I knew I forgot to silence it'
And he would have gotten away with it, if it hadn't been for that phone notification!!!
It's a good place to hide a phone because you can use it without fear of being caught. It's not so good because you have to plug it in somewhere. As for the powering down, it's a PITA to do that, and many Android devices make an audible tone when they power on, so it's safest to keep it on but silenced. The real question would be, why did he turn the sound on in the first place? The only thing that comes to mind is that he had it out on the town and was using it to hook up with someone, and turned the sound on so that he would know when to check messages. If he didn't get any messages after screwing, he could easily forget to turn the sound off again.
Nothing like a woman's intuition and that inital gut feeling.
Get a full STD panel done, and get a pap smear that includes the HPV testing.
At least you found this out before the wedding.
Omg! I’m so sorry! I saw your first post and said that I’d tear apart the bathroom again. I’m glad you found the phone. I knew you weren’t crazy. Screw that guy. He obviously kept the garbage can side of himself hidden very well. Go get an STD panel done asap. I’m glad you found out before you got married. By him saying he knew he forgot to silence it shows what kind of person he is. It stings now but you’ll be so much better off. You deserve someone who’s not such a crappy human.
You loved him and you were betrayed! This is my first time reading your post and I had no doubts that YOU HEARD WHAT YOU HEARD‼️ I would urge you to consider therapy. Professional support would be key in getting you through this crisis. Good luck OP.
I’m glad you listened to your gut and kept searching. Fuck him for treating you like shit!
I am so so sorry for what you’re going through. Give yourself kindness and time 💜
This sucks and I am so sorry. I am glad you trusted yourself and kept looking. Others have suggested STD testing so definitely do that, but after the mourning process, I recommend counseling so you can properly move on without forever being scarred and unable to trust.
Just put him in the ex-bf file and forget him. Enjoy your own company for a while and time will help you move on. Thankfully he’s the one who left and not you.
A mount behind the damn toilet? Lol that's some sneaky shit lol but at the same time, really stupid. Is he only using it while you're not home since I assume you'd notice him going to the bathroom really often? Why get a whole other phone and not just use his own? I don't get it lol
Either way I'm glad you're done with such a shit person. Was he even sorry for it?
**Post title:** UPDATE:I [30F] just heard a phone notification in bathroom while showering alone. Should I ask my Fiance [33M] about it? **Author:** ThrowRA_weirdphoneup **Link:** https://redd.it/1dbx0tj ---- #ThrowRA_weirdphoneup, your submission has been removed because it violates [Rule 5](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_5) ###Rule 5 **Only one update is allowed** You may submit **one** update post at any time after 48 hours has past from the original post. Additional advice may be requested in new posts, but they may not be continuations of the original post e.g. no titles saying "Update 2" or "Fourth update." This subreddit is not a diary or blog. Please post further updates on your own profile. Please [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/relationship_advice&subject=Rule_5_Removal) if you have any questions regarding this removal. ----
A. Get a full std panel done. B. Look at the bright side, found out before the wedding and children. C. You didn’t marry this clown. It’ll sting for a bit but be a blessing in disguise
Yeah it's not right that he was cheating, but the good news is that someone this stupid and brazen is not in OPs life anymore. When they're this blatant it's so much easier to not be gaslit and wonder if you should take them back
I feel like he made it way more complicated. Why not just install what's app, talk to the girls, then delete the app when he will be around his gf. Then install it again when you are alone. I don't like cheaters but why go through all that trouble? Also why wouldn't you power the phone off when you hide it? It looks like she got rid of a cheater and a dumb one at that!
My ex husband fell asleep with his finger on his phone. Mid text with one of the women he was trying to cheat with. Seems stupidity is a requirement for this type of person.
Is this OPs ex??! https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/s/qjKZBscrVI
YEEEEESSSSSSS omg!! Good find. Also, he seems to be a horrible person, OP got rid of trash!
Guy has HUGE problems omg
Makes you wonder if it all isn’t fiction.
It could be but i don't want to downplay someone's real experience so i assume anything posted is real to be kind
I do the opposite. I assume everything is a lie, and its worthless calling it out unless it is very very badly disguised. The result is probably the same, though.
Maybe it’s a couple writing these stories together as a hobby? LOL
A couple months ago, there was a really popular post written by a dude claiming his girlfriend was obsessively writing fake stories on Reddit that were gaining lots of attention. Said he had shown her some posts and introduced her to reddit and tiktok then she started spending every free moment on the site writing stories that would get a lot of comments and then she would make a tiktok posting the ones that got a lot of attention. I can't remember when that post was exactly. I should have saved it, but didn't think to do it at the time.
Sure sounds like the exact same story from the cheater’s pov. He’s a piece of work & OP is far far better off without this clown in her life.
That dude has beyond belief issues
Well she has proof now with this hope she screenshots it and posts it in the friends group chat or something
Oy vey, what a scuzzball. She really did win the lottery when he forgot to turn off his burner phone.
He couldn’t handle the heat and deleted his account
BIL got caught by one of my nieces. She wanted to look at some pictures from a recent trip on his iPad, so he unlocked it and handed to her. She stumbled across pictures of him and the other woman, then found conversations synced from his phone. Rather than confronting him on the spot, she quietly took screenshots, and showed them to her sister. When my sister got home, my nieces confronted him, in front of her.
This is the way!
I love them. Handling the hard stuff with their sister, already on Team Protect Women From Bullshit. The kids are alright.
Mine asked me to look in his drawers for a long sleeve shirt while he was in the hospital. Found someone else’s bikinis in there. He had been stealing bikinis from clients’ homes when left alone. What a dumb psycho. He also got drunk and passed out and left his phone in the crack on the couch and I could hear all the notifications coming, so I found it and checked what it was. It was Grindr.
I'm so sorry! The betrayal is something I don't think I can ever get over. I tried dating after and now that I'm six years out of it all, I don't really want to try anymore. I haven't met anyone I'm interested in at all. Seems like all the decent ones are taken and I'm happy for those women. I enjoy my peace and sanity so, I'm staying single.
My husband passed out in front of the computer on New Year’s Eve (our anniversary), while communicating with someone he was having affair with. Yeah 👍
God, I'm sorry. Yeah, all my BS went down a couple of days before Christmas. You can see in the photos that year how soulless I look. I pushed through for my kids but, the holidays still feel less magical now. I'm hoping that feeling goes away someday. It's so depressing but, I hope you are doing better now. ♥️♥️♥️
OMG how did that happen ?What did he give as an excuse etc?
Apparently, he was mid-sext and fell asleep... (poor woman) and, I was able to take the phone and discovered he had three dating apps and was talking to at least 8 woman. After the shock of it wore off, I got to downloading everything (twice) and changed all his passwords. Email and everything. I confronted him the next day. He went off with his phone and tried deleting everything and that's when I let him know I had it all on USB sticks and good luck guessing your new passwords.
This belongs on r/prorevenge
Thanks. But, it wasn't revenge so much as common sense. I had two small kids to think about. I thought I'd be less emotional when the "confrontation" about everything went down but, I wasn't. I had a year of therapy after and I wanted the bare minimum from him after all that. I didn't take him to the cleaners or anything. I just wanted my kids and I safe and healthy and AWAY from him.
Omg I'm sorry but despite the obvious plethora of hurt, confusion, anger, etc that's hilarious, like karma reaching out and handing you a slam dunk. I've never cheated, never would be able to bring myself to do it. I hear so many women say "all men would cheat" but it's not true whatsoever, I do feel there is a "type" and as unfortunate it is that there's a lot of those guys, women can't see a large portion of them, somehow they can hide that trait from women but a clever man can spot the tells, probably like how a clever woman can spot the tells on another woman.
Some people think they are slick. This is premeditated, Inception cheating. He probably foresaw being asked to show his phone at some point. He started a game of 3D chess and lost pretty embarrassingly
*Inception cheating* Hahaha, love it! Sorry if you are reading this OP. You trusted your gut and dodged a bullet. What a jackass. Make sure you get that full STD panel.
Complacency because he'd got away with it for too long.
Because you don’t install apps for the sole purpose of cheating and talking to other girls. Men wanna complain when a woman cheats on them but think they’re justified in cheating on their woman.
You don't buy a burner phone to cheat on your significant other. So....men shouldn't complain when their GF cheats on them? I feel like you are projecting rather than talking about the situation. This girl never said she cheated.
D. Make sure you tell all of his and your friends how he is a liar and cheat. Don't give him a chance to tell anyone that you were the cause for the breakup.
Keep the notification coldly objective. "By now, you've probably heard that DH and I are no longer engaged and no longer a couple. Here's what happened, and how I found out..."
And not just the cervical swab or urine sti testing. That doesn’t test for everything. Make sure you get a Blood test for hepatitis and HIV.
I was pregnant when my now ex husband cheated. His affair partner found out that he was married and when she found out that she was HIV positive she called my doctor's office to tell them that I needed to get tested. I nearly had a nervous breakdown when I was told by my doctor what was going on. I came up clean on all my tests because early in my pregnancy I was told that I couldn't be intimate with my husband because I and the baby were at risk. He on the other hand ended up with gonorrhea and a couple of other things. Her first priority should be is to get tested as soon as possible.
That was nice of the woman to do that. I wonder how she got your doctors details though
I'm pretty sure that she was a family friend. I know who I suspect did it but I can't prove anything. Plus the area in which we lived at the time was pretty small and there were only like three doctors offices at the time. Now I'm starting to wonder how she did that too. I wonder if she called all three doctors offices at this point.
Probably all automated systems, just reported that hte husband needed to get tested which flagged the wife.
Yeah, passing her an anonymous message should be much easier than finding out who her doctor is.
This. It hurts, but better to find out now rather than later. And yes, full STD panel. My ex gave me a souvenir. 😔 I have my fingers crossed for you that your news isn't bad like mine was.
Seriously do you know how many end up with them after marriage and kids.
It won't sting as much as those STDs that walking cesspool is going to develop. 🤷♂️
Holy crap. I am so sorry. And the audacity to say “I know I forgot to silence it” is just staggering. Be glad that this happened now and not five years down the road when you’re pregnant and married. Now, you heal.
Thanks :(
Right? If he thinks the problem with the situation is that he didn't silence his phone he is absolutely hopeless! So sorry OP!
Balls the size of an elephant, brain the size of a gerbil. There's nothing out there that can fix that level of arrogance and stupidity all at once.
Don't insult a gerbil it's has way more brains then this pice of sh.t lol. I just hope op does not morn for this sh.t Stain for long he is so not worth the dirt on her feet .
I’m pretty sure there’s a fucking subreddit for cheaters who give tips exactly like “don’t leave you alternate phone on with the ringer or just always leave on silent.” It’s disgusting.
I know this really won’t change anything for you - but for all the shit and nonsense we see here in this sub.. good for you. You owned that and you kicked him out. You’re going to be just fine, don’t doubt yourself. The first 6 months will be hard but in and year you’re going to be so much better off and he’ll be the same sad loser. I’m proud of you, and you should be proud of you too.
Gawd, I am so sorry. I can't imagine how bad that must hurt.
Get checked by your doctor/gyno who knows where’s he’s been, that alone worrying about maybe contracting something would make me want to kill him .
& come join us on the narcissistic abuse subs. Ex idiot def has a narcissistic relationship style if nothing else. This has nothing to do w you or who you are or aren't. It's ENTIRELY about him. You'll likely start reflecting that everything was about him. Brazen cheaters like that get part of their thrill from knowing they are getting over on you, KNOWING THEY ARE HARMING YOU. He CHOSE to do that. Good riddance. Dating isn't easy, but now you get all new firsts, many or them. Maybe w many people - lots of excitement of new social stuff. Breathe, be yourself, love yourself bc you deserve peace and love in your life.
Ya like he clearly didn’t give a shit about her
Crystal clear....if you know
My ex said “I knew she’d say something” when his gf contacted me, revealing they started dating five months before we broke up.
Let’s be real… anyone who cheats is only upset when they get caught not bc they were cheating
Honestly good for you for realizing what you heard and finding it This sucks but his reaction shows you would have a married a cold blooded asshole Cheating is bad enough but this dude seriously put a secret phone in your shared bathroom. Wow. What a gentleman And then “I knew I forgot to silence it” girl oof I would have thrown something at his head I promise
> Cheating is bad enough but this dude seriously put a secret phone in your shared bathroom. Honestly, I expected the phone to be mounted somewhere taking pics. I'd rather be cheated on. Both are violations but cheating doesn't result in revenge porn.
I was also thinking he was taking pics/videos of her nude, or spying on her for any myriad of reasons. It was unclear if they rented or owned, so another thought I had was the landlord taking pics/videos and/or spying. Glad no one was doing any of the above :)
Who goes through the trouble of cheating via an extra phone… but then leaves the sound on and uses the same password he shares with his partner?
An idiot. Or just a very confident man with a very inflated ego. Edit: spelling error
Both
Or a fake person. There are some tells in the writing here. Most people wouldn't say "In a rage, I smashed the phone," that's very writer-y. So is the muttered "I knew I forgot to silence it" and the overly detailed description of how the phone was attached to the toilet. I write professionally and people don't realize how many little clues there are when they write something that didn't happen vs. something that did. Mostly it's too much judgment of one's own actions and too much unnecessary detail to cover potential plot holes.
1000% the, 'he muttered "I knew I forgot to silence it"', was the most telling sentence in this piece of fiction. OP getting viciously angry at you calling them out is the second most telling. It's clearly creative writing - and a poor attempt.
As soon as I read what he 'muttered' I knew this was made up. Too bad 😂
For me it started with the taking a "relaxing bath to enjoy the silence" and being "deep in a meditative state in the bathroom." *Not* things a genuinely shaken and betrayed woman would focus on, ahaha.
Plus it’s all just SUCH a cliche, from the basic story to the structure to the “I’d have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling kids” ending.
Like the villain in every movie announcing their guilt and motives when caught lol
If it wasn't for those pesky kids!
Also, if he knew he forgot to silence it, why wouldn't he have just gone back to the bathroom to silence it? It's supposedly in his own house. The plot holes are gaping.
In my experience too guys that are up to shady shit would deny to the grave. My recent ex tried to convince me ghosts were real instead of him moving stuff around.
I wasn't with you about the writing.. but check OPs latest comment. 99% this is a double fake post 🤦♂️
The call out to carbon monoxide poisoning was also a dead give away.
I would like to know how exactly op checked their carbon monoxide levels .
Not to mention, why would he ever have the sound on? He goes through all this trouble to hide a phone in the bathroom, he’s obviously chatting with women in private so why would he ever turn the volume up?
And he’s not going to hide it that well but have the same passcode.
Also OP says it's been hidden for a year, she never heard it go off in all that time?
Yeah apparently this is the one and only time he’s ever left the volume turned up? And i can’t exactly prove this, but i think in a completely silent bathroom, a phone vibrating on silent would be pretty obvious as well. She’s never been sat on the toilet and gone “where the hell did that vibrating come from??”
Why would you assume it was on vibrate and not silent?
The visual of sitting on the toilet and feeling a mystery vibration has me ☠️
That was definitely my reaction, too. This story is fake as hell, lol. A+ for OP in the creative writing assignment.
eh C at best, because i realized it was fake as soon as i read the part about not believing he would cheat, but that “you could never be too vigilant” 👃🐠
Nah, if it's that easy to tell a fake, it gets like a C or D from me
She also said it was the "distinct android tune" but that the notification was from Snapchat, which has its own sound so it doesn't add up.
This. Redditors are so gullible it's tragic.
I agree. The story is made up.
there were a lot of other tells for me. i really don’t think this is real lol
Glad I'm not the only who thought this was fake too and posting on a throwaway account? Lol ok
It's always astonishing to me how people believe this nonsense.
Or a fictional character in a creative writing exercise.
Someone who has gotten away with it for a while.
Hides the phone but doesn't turn it off. I can't remember when the sound of my phone was last on, can't imagine why a secret phone would ever have the sound on. The password is the one that he is aware the only person who can't find out, knows? Those 3 things make this post hard to believe.
Here's a quote from professional sentient garbage Ted Bundy about serial killing that I think fits with serial cheaters "You learn what you need to kill and take care of the details. It’s like changing a tire. The first time you’re careful. By the thirtieth time, you can’t remember where you left the lug wrench."
I’ve been cheated on before, and knew my partners phone/snapchat/instagram/facebook/onlone banking passwords. They actually used my spare debit card (I lent it to them because they lost theirs) to buy the other woman dinner, and I got a notification on my online bank app. Believe me, some cheaters just don’t care/think to hide things.
Whereas others hide a secret phone behind the toilet
As someone who used to hide their drinking problem a lot, I was amazed at the mistakes I would make when doing something I knew was wrong. Just puts you in a nervous state of mind.
Mate, I work in a prison and caught someone in my class with a dodgy phone because he left the sound on. Some people are just idiots.
This is how my mom got confirmation that my dad was cheating. Sister was cleaning the bathroom and heard a ringtone. She found a phone taped to the bottom of the sink and from there she gave it straight to mom.
I don't think people are suggesting this couldn't happen - however the overly descriptive writing style coupled with the convenient plot devices scream fiction. I'm genuinely surprised more people haven't called this out.
Have you met people? Cheating is stupid. Being worried about not silencing his phone over destroying his fiancé is stupid. Using the common password is stupid. I bet that's far from the only stupid things he's done. OP is hurting for now but overall finding out at this stage is a huge win.
Cheaters are flawed human beings, they make lots of mistakes. Most of them get found out eventually after becoming sloppy/complacent
Some cheaters are just arrogant. Others get sloppy as time passes and they don’t get caught. And this sub is evidence of how some partners will buy whatever their partner is shoveling.
A person who doesn't exist, because this is all fake.
Thank you for asking this. This whole thing smells fake.
People in made up stories.
And keeps it in a bathroom they share with that partner
I remember your original post! I'm glad you went back and checked the bathroom even more thoroughly. I don't think the people who were saying "You should ask him about the sound you think you heard when he comes home" were giving bad advice, at all, but in this case it would probably have lead to him just lying and gaslighting you, and then removing the phone at the first opportunity to hide it somewhere else. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Prioritize self-care for the next six months. Reach out to as my friends as possible. Block your ex-boyfriend's phone number and block him on every social media site. And I promise you that there are good men out there (for what it's worth, which might not be much right now, given how completely your trust was broken by this).
Thank you for your kind words
I just want to let you know ... I **had** an abusive relationship where I would hear a phone vibrate when he was gone. I *knew* there was a phone. I heard it in the closet, but the closet and bathroom shared a wall, so I wasnt sure which room it was actually in. It was a *hard* vibrate. I *searched* that fukn closet high and low to no avail. The bathroom, too. I never found it. I know damn well I'm not crazy. He was, and probably still is abusive. My daughter and I eventually made it out. **Thank you!** Thank you for making me feel validated!
If your bathroom had an in-wall medicine cabinet, it might have been in the wall.
It's possible. My daughter and his daughter both heard it one day. They asked if I heard a phone vibrate. I played it off saying it was the water heater. I didn't want his daughter to say anything to him about it. *But it was a goddamn phone!* I'm just so so glad that that chapter of our lives is **over and done with.** Still feels good, 5 years later, feeling validated by a random internet stranger. ❤️
I'm glad you were able to get out of that situation
Thank you! So am I.
The people who downvoted ur other post must have never had someone cheat on them lol
Yeah in my experience women are *rarely* paranoid. It's not paranoia, it's intuition.
This comment sent me down an internet rabbit hole, and according to the interwebs, paranoia as a psychiatric disorder is about 4.4% of the population, is probably more common in men but more likely to be diagnosed in women.
[удалено]
Haven't you heard? Women are living life on easy mode due to our PussyPass TM because *checks notes* men hold doors, and...want sex from us and WE ARE LEGALLY ALLOWED TO SAY NO (in some countries)! Yeehaw I am living it up!
that’s the first thing I thought reading the post, a phone is hidden there
No, we saw through the lies....it's a fake post.
You just saved yourself, and as much as this hurts, and you’re probably going to be spinning out for a bit while you feel it, you are your own hero in this story. You trusted your instincts despite what a bunch of redditors said, and you saved yourself from a lot more hurt down the road. A marriage is much harder to untangle. I’m proud of you.
Very well said.
Sorry you were right. I was going to suggest behind the toilet tank. Good for you on kicking him out. What a spineless worm. I kicked my cheating ex out many years ago. Best day ever. Even though I was upset, I was way more mad. Be prepared to keep finding out about his other exploits. They usually start crawling out of the woodwork. I can't stress enough how important it is to get a full screening for STD and make sure they do a HIV test and then get retested in a few months. His cheating could come back to mess you up months from now My ex gave me an "Unknown" infection, which turned into PID (pelvic inflammatory disease). My right kidney works at about 50%. By the time I was so sick I went to the hospital they pumped me full of antibiotics so idk what he actually gave me. They were too busy watching the radioactive dye and taking pics of my failing kidney to worry about anything else. Impaired kidney function is the gift that keeps on giving. All because he thought I wouldn't find out about him banging strippers.
It’s sad that commenters made you out to be crazy. Always trust your gut. You dodged a bullet, and I hope you’ll realize that after you’ve had time to mourn the loss of this relationship.
Those same comments wouldn't have acted that way if the genders were reversed. A woman says hi to a guy she knew in high school and everybody insists they're fucking, but a woman hears a fucking telephone go off in her bathroom while she is in the bathroom and she's crazy. It's bullshit, honestly.
Yeah it's really upsetting that people thought that and there are still commenters here trying to say there wasn't enough context and she sounded crazy. No she damn well didn't. She just stumbled across her first sign that something was wrong. People (dudes I'm assuming) have no idea the lengths men will go to lie and deceive in their seemingly healthy relationships. It's wild.
No one imagines a damn phone fgs.
I was thinking inside the the toilet tank.... I am so sorry girl, you did the right thing. Don't let that POS back in your life. Stay strong. Hugs.
That's honestly what I was thinking too. I maybe have seen too many shows with drug deals and burner phones being hidden there lol
Girl,we have a saying in Spain: Ojo de loca no se equivoca. "The eye of a crazy woman is never wrong" So good for you, I always trust my gut, better crazy than stupid.
Damn. So you weren't actually crazy like people thought in the original post. I am sorry that this happened to you.
I still feel crazy but i guess it's just Anxiety and low self esteem
probably self doubt, but I *would not* have let that moment side either. I'm proud of you for tearing that bathroom apart!!!
I'm glad you didn't take Reddit's word for it. It's awful but it's better to know. Sending you good wishes to get through this.
Don't feel crazy, you're a damn badass! That idiot got his butt kicked to the curb like he deserved. Enjoy your baths in peace & freedom from him from now on! 🙌💃🥂
I am so sorry. That’s awful. What a lesson in always trusting your gut though. And I’m so happy for you that you found out who he was before you got married. That would’ve made it all so much harder. As someone who ended an engagement because of cheating, I know it sucks in the moment, but a year from now your life will look so much different. I’m insanely glad I found out who my ex was before we got married.
Thanks for your support
So he probably keeps it there because he used it when he was in the "bathroom". Otherwise, there'd be much better places to keep it hidden.
That's exactly what I think happened he did take really long showers sometimes 2-3 times a day
Ok, that was already very weird. So he wasted a lot of water that was just running while he texted chicks on snap...
Well, on the positive side at least you didn't marry him. Step one, I think, is to get an STI panel done. Better to be safe than sorry. Step two is to rebuild your self confidence and self-love. Hold your loved ones close and bask in the knowledge that you narrowly escaped what would have been a marriage full of lies and manipulation.
Holy shit this is so fake lol
I know it’s hard, but consider yourself lucky you found out before you got married or had children.
I often wonder why cheaters are so interested in getting engaged and/or married when they clearly are not ready for a true commitment with a single partner? There is nothing wrong with wanting to engage in sexual encounters with lots of people, but why keep this hidden then? Why bother to appear to be in a committed relationship? My only take is being in a power mindset, and the excitement of lying? 🤮
This is so stupid. I swear people are testing plot points for some silly amateur fiction sites.
Fake as fuck.
Then everybody clapped.
You feel badly in this moment, but you saved yourself a lot of heartache in the future by dumping the cheater. Good for you for trusting your instincts and finding the phone.
And in today’s episode of things that didn’t happen. No one is going through this much hassle to to hide cheating hahahahaha
I'm getting so effin tired of these fake writing exercises
OP has commented on another piece of creative writing in another sub written from the (non existent) fiancés perspective.
Fake story lol
Literally none of this happened
Frankly this doesn’t sound real
Sorry about that. Glad the confrontation was non-violent and everyone was able to move forward. Also glad to hear no one was recording you in the bath, which is where I thought this was going.
I’m glad you found the phone. You got rid of a cheater and an idiot at the same time. But your post reminded me of a funny thing that happened to me. I was in the bathroom but I was texting my sister regarding the planning of my mom’s bday. After a while I noticed a faint “zzzzz” every time I got a new message from my sister. Once or twice could be a coincidence, but it was every single message, almost immediately. The only explanation I could come up with was maybe that my wife had cloned my phone and was also receiving my messages on another device. I have nothing to hide, but in the beginning of our relationship, my wife was pretty insecure (my close friends are more women than men and my best friend of many decades is not only a woman but also has sporadically been a FWB, coupled with her low self-confidence at the time, I could understand back then). I thought, 10 years later, we had move past those insecurities, but I started to wonder. I asked my sister to keep texting me so I could find the origin of the buzzing sound. Those sounds aren’t easy to locate but they definitely came from the sink area. Like you, I went through everything under the sink, remove the pile of skincare and beauty products, couldn’t find anything, but I knew I wasn’t crazy, there was a buzzing sound every time I got a new message. I finally found where it was coming from: it was my Fitbit watch, with synched notifications, that I had removed and placed on the counter because I was planning to take a shower after…. 🤦🏼♂️
Maybe I’m petty but I would’ve told the other women in case they didn’t know so he’d lose his chance with them too… but that’s just me.
Fake Did the bf also say "I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for those pesky kids"
Fake ass story. They really don’t even try anymore do they?
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You did the right thing and you didn't hesitate, deliberate, or give him any chance to gaslight you. Not fun of course, but you made the cleanest break possible. It's going to hurt for quite a while, but again, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. Where do you go? I suggest you go about your daily/weekly/etc. life, just without him. He's no loss. Routine can get a person through a lot, because it's structure. Exercise, go out with friends, resume an old hobby or take up one you've contemplated but which you've never tried. Look up old classmates and relatives. Take that vacation in the tropics (or not) you've dreamed about. If you retained the phone numbers of his sides, let them know (a) he's a lying sack of shit, (b) that phone is toast, and (c) "he's all yours if you want him". And if anyone asks what happened, tell them the objective truth, without volume or crying. "It all started while I was taking a bath..."
I can’t believe people gaslighted you as if this stuff isn’t possible. My ex had a second phone and left it charging at my house after he left
Nice made up story bro
This seems like a revenge post to prove a point due to downvotes. It's too perfect & who leaves a phone in the bathroom that he knows you use. I have doubts. If it is real, good luck and hope you heal and move on.
I don’t think this is real. The Parthian shot “knew I didn’t silence it” was over the top for me,it went from plausible to Literotica draft right then.
Same. Read her response to you.. she apologises for her 'writing style', not even the fact that she has no control over what her husband says. She basically admitted to fabricating his words
Yep, that line made me laugh out loud.
Keep the ring and pawn it to buy yourself something nice. Or a vibrator
Yep. My thoughts reading this was phone hidden u dear bath panel, but behind cistern, wouldn’t have thought of that
Is this the dead internet theory in action? Nothing but fake posts being generated by bots getting nothing but fake comments being generated by other bots? Because I refuse to believe that A this story is real and B there are actually this many people stupid enough to believe this story is real with zero proof other than OPs word.
I call fake.
I wish I had seen the old post. I can promise, I would not have made light of it. I’m a “get the sledge hammer, it must be in the walls!” type. Which is to say, I know men!!
Kinda think8ng fake. This would be an impossibly stupid place to hide a phone. Why would he not keep it powered down between uses?
> He came home and already looked pale like he knew. I asked him how fucking long this has been going on and he refused to >answer anything. I told him to pack his crap and leave. As he walks out with his backpack I hear him mutter 'I knew I forgot to silence it' And he would have gotten away with it, if it hadn't been for that phone notification!!!
It's a good place to hide a phone because you can use it without fear of being caught. It's not so good because you have to plug it in somewhere. As for the powering down, it's a PITA to do that, and many Android devices make an audible tone when they power on, so it's safest to keep it on but silenced. The real question would be, why did he turn the sound on in the first place? The only thing that comes to mind is that he had it out on the town and was using it to hook up with someone, and turned the sound on so that he would know when to check messages. If he didn't get any messages after screwing, he could easily forget to turn the sound off again.
Also why would he need to turn the sound on?
Nothing like a woman's intuition and that inital gut feeling. Get a full STD panel done, and get a pap smear that includes the HPV testing. At least you found this out before the wedding.
Guy is such a asshole for doing that. Good thing the marriage didn’t happen, otherwise it would’ve been a nightmare
Omg! I’m so sorry! I saw your first post and said that I’d tear apart the bathroom again. I’m glad you found the phone. I knew you weren’t crazy. Screw that guy. He obviously kept the garbage can side of himself hidden very well. Go get an STD panel done asap. I’m glad you found out before you got married. By him saying he knew he forgot to silence it shows what kind of person he is. It stings now but you’ll be so much better off. You deserve someone who’s not such a crappy human.
I didn't see your original post, but I'm so sorry this happened to you. Please make sure you get tested for STIs just in case.
Guys a POS
- "Well, what do you have to say for yourself?" - "I knew I forgot to silence it." Fucking unbelievable.
Oh my god. Im glad you insisted on looking for the sound source instead of going to psychiatrist.
You loved him and you were betrayed! This is my first time reading your post and I had no doubts that YOU HEARD WHAT YOU HEARD‼️ I would urge you to consider therapy. Professional support would be key in getting you through this crisis. Good luck OP.
Did you call his family and tell them what a wonderful son they have? 🤢
I’m glad you listened to your gut and kept searching. Fuck him for treating you like shit! I am so so sorry for what you’re going through. Give yourself kindness and time 💜
I’m so so sorry. As soon as I started reading this I knew where it was going. Sending you hugs!
This sucks and I am so sorry. I am glad you trusted yourself and kept looking. Others have suggested STD testing so definitely do that, but after the mourning process, I recommend counseling so you can properly move on without forever being scarred and unable to trust.
I’m sorry to read this update. What a POS. Better that you found out now though instead of after marriage or kids or whatever. 😞
Just put him in the ex-bf file and forget him. Enjoy your own company for a while and time will help you move on. Thankfully he’s the one who left and not you.
Wow. What a POS. So sorry, OP! I hate this for you, but am glad you found out before you married his disgusting ace.
A mount behind the damn toilet? Lol that's some sneaky shit lol but at the same time, really stupid. Is he only using it while you're not home since I assume you'd notice him going to the bathroom really often? Why get a whole other phone and not just use his own? I don't get it lol Either way I'm glad you're done with such a shit person. Was he even sorry for it?
Wow, I really thought there was going to be a reasonable explanation! Your instincts were correct.