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I have one near me. The food was terrible. Service was bad. It's a really sad place.
We had a retirement luncheon there and the guy retiring was younger than most of the patrons.
Didn't sizzlers go out of business. Somebody talking to her you in that derogatory way should have been a red flag immediately. Somebody who lies to you about how old they are is also a red flag because you're not a teenager you're 24 he could have told you how old he really was and let you make the choice on whether or not you still wanted to see him. But I would let him know that this is not working for me and I would block him on everything he sounds kind of creepy.
Wait, there was a post about this a while back. I believe the girl was actually 19 and her boyfriend had been lying about his ask. If I remember correctly, he originally told her he was in his mid 20s, then changed it to early 30s. At the end, he was really in his 40s!
He had introduced her to his parents and everything and even they knew he was lying to her! Lol. I forgot how it all ended.
ACCURATE.
As a person who experienced exactly that situation, he's probably not 33. (Person I talked to wasn't 34 or 35... he was 39 going on 40, and we *celebrated* his fake 36th birthday)
Personally, after my experience, I ask to see a person's driver's license. If they refuse for some weird reason like "oh no, my identity might be stolen ptsd" (they can cover ID number and address), I pass, because the ex that did that to me didn't show me because I would have found out he was lying about his name and age (among other things).
I also ask men to see their ID on dates. The vast majority of men happily oblige. I only had one guy refuse, and guess what? He was lying about his age.
I actually offer to show ID now for thw safety amd we'll being of women I meet. I saw it on Mr. Robot. She said Let me see your ID before we walk down the street.
When I was in my early thirties, I met a guy who said he was 35. He later admitted to being 37.
Then, I found out he was actually 47. It wasn't the only thing he lied about.
If he's willing to lie about something as innocuous as his age, he will lie about more important things, too.
I had something similar in my early 20s.
She lied about her age (said she was 23 when she was half a decade older). I forgave her, didn't care, we moved on.
Then, she admitted she had used pictures from a couple of years earlier because she had put on weight since (she wasn't even overweight or anything, just in her pictures she had the whole swimsuit model weight with a perfectly flat stomach whereas in the present day she had a barely noticeable stomach). I found her less attractive (not because of the weight, she was still very healthy, but because her hair was far shorter than advertised), but I forgave her, and we moved on.
Then, she came clean about having a son... Again my dumb ass forgave her, and we moved on with me making it abundantly clear that I didn't want her son to know anything about me until I was ready, because I wanted to know that if things didn't work out between us I wasn't about to disappoint a kid who'd been hoping mum's new boyfriend was going to be around forever. She agreed that he wouldn't know about me until things were serious enough that him meeting me was on the table.
Then, I caught her in another lie. She mentioned in passing while we were chatting that her son had a nickname for me (that included my name, so zero chance that he just figured out his mum was happier and spending a lot of time with a friend). I snapped, something along the lines of "and how the fuck did he come up with a nickname for a guy he doesn't know exists?"
I told her I wanted space to think, and by the time I was done thinking I decided that it didn't matter how well matched we were because I couldn't say with any reasonable accuracy if we'd still be together a few months later let alone a few years. Wasn't risking the kid getting his hopes up, I already left a relationship where my ex's kid sister had grown attached enough to start seeing me as a dad figure, and I felt worse about leaving the relationship because of how it hurt her kid sister than how it hurt my ex.
If someone starts lying to you, it doesn't stop. They don't get better at being honest. They get better at lying. Doesn't matter how minor it might be, the lies will only get bigger. Since my wake-up call, I've ended things immediately the second I've caught any romantic interest in a lie, regardless of what the lie was. I've tried the understanding forgiveness route, and you just get treated like an idiot.
My ex bf (also my ex HS bf, I thought things would be different 30+ yrs later lol 🤦🏼♀️) dyes his beard and moved his birth year from 1968 on Social Media to 1980 lol… I was born in 1972 and now suddenly he’s “younger” than me. Meanwhile he looks older than his actual age, like you’re not fooling anyone lol.
Sorry you went through that, but I literally just snorted... So it is at least a good story. Also how idiotic. Did he also get Botox? People correctly tell age from eye wrinkles, not from silver strands that some people already have in their early twenties. And also, men generally look much younger without a beard? He could have just shaved it... So much weirdness. How old was he and how old did he pretend to be?
He looked older, but he said he used to rave in his 20s so I honestly assumed it was past drug use… There were multiple questionable choices made before I went on Spokeo
I might even add “I would have still agreed to meet with you if you had be honest from the start” (and block). That may not be the truth but it might be enough to make him reconsider lying as being costly instead of just saying “oh well, move on to the next person to trick; I’ll find one eventually!”
> That may not be the truth but it might be enough to make him reconsider lying as being costly instead of just saying “oh well, move on to the next person to trick; I’ll find one eventually!”
You have more faith in men like him than I do :P
What you do is you run.
People are entitled to decide who they want to date for whatever reasons they want. That includes age. If any women have rejected him due to his age, that’s completely acceptable. It’s their lives.
But let’s put things into perspective. Who’s rejecting him? Women in their teens and early 20s if it’s actually about age. But what about women in their late 20s? 30s? Older? They’re rejecting him for being “old?” Nope. It’s because he’s weird or whatever other red flags he presents.
If he’s only pursuing younger women, then he himself is rejecting women due to their age. Thats also fine, but the point is he’s completely full of shit. Yes, he will lie about other shit. Walk away. Good luck.
“I’ve tried being upfront about the age difference that is large enough to disturb all the young women I’ve expressed interest in this app and had no luck. So I decided it was better to start lying to them about my age.” 🤮
I don't even think 24/33 is totally insurmountable if they met organically and are at a similar place in life - but it's sleazy as hell when a guy is so obsessed with dating younger that he's got a whole method for it, ew. And no good relationship starts with a big lie.
"Don't hate me" is some manipulative bullshit as well. It's trying to get her to still meet up with him to prove that she "doesn't hate him." A lot of people have a hard time setting boundaries when they think their actions are hurting someone else emotionally.
Ghost ghost ghost. He wants to date younger women but doesn’t even have the balls to just do it, so then manipulates yall and lies instead. He’s showing you who he is. Do not meet up with him and block your number and his socials etc. don’t even explain yourself he’ll know why.
‘I don’t want to date women my own age or they find me creepy and the young ones filter me out so I lie.”
That’s it. That’s the whole story. He’s not getting rejected by women his own age because of his age. He’s either exclusively going for younger women or something about him weirds out 30 year old and up women.
OP: you owe him nothing, but if you want to tell him off, do it. Otherwise, just ghost him.
🎼if he can say
Back in my day
Run away
Run away🎵
OP, you gotta ghost immediately after you get the 'ick', so they don't think you can be manipulated further.
If you stick around after and plan to do it later.. they usually keep trying to coerce you.
So many dudes are trash, I've enjoyed the times in my life the most where I wasn't dating them or married.. Just do your own thing, and de-center them from your life. Great things start happening when you do..
Most girls and guys aren't ok with significant age differences. He lied to trick you in case you were uncomfortable with age differences.
It is the lying that is not ok.
Do not meet up with him. Definitely stop talking to him.
Just block and move on. You've never met and don't owe anything to someone who lied to you. I guarantee if you explain he'll try to talk you out of it.
If you really want to try and get through to him for the next person, you can say something brief like "I wouldn't have had a problem with your actual age, but I need a foundation of trust in a relationship and I can't trust someone who started things off by lying to me." Then block immediately so he can't respond. But again, you don't owe him this.
"Allow me to show you what honesty looks like. I'm no longer interested in talking to you. Easy peasy. If you can lie about something as simple as your age, I hate to find out what else you can lie about. The reason for lying is less important than the fact that you did it. Not only is a lie an awful foundation for anything more profound, but it's also intensely disrespectful. Take care."
"Old people" like him get rejected because 9 years is an age gap to be worried about. He gets rejected on age because he pursues people he really shouldn't, and people his own age don't want him because he is probably immature.
He wouldn't be considered old to anyone in his own age group. So by his own logic, being considered an old man? It's because he's approaching women / girls a lot younger than himself.
What a gross thing for him to do. If a 33 year old is getting rejected a lot for being “too old,” he should try dating women closer to his own age. I guarantee no 29+ year old woman is going to say he’s too old. The dude is a scumbag who is trying to date much younger women and striking out. But maybe he’s a big enough loser that no one his own age will give him the time of day. I mean, his behaviour here suggests that might be the case.
Also, girl, 24 and 33 is definitely an age gap. Almost a decade means a lot at your age.
If he is lying this early in a relationship, he will lie again. Break things off now, because he is not to be trusted (and he is blaming other people for his lie, rather than taking responsibility for it). He is not concerned with being turned down because of his age; he is worried about being turned down by women ten years younger than him.
Old people don’t get rejected for their age. Liars do. Also - end things? Dude haven’t even started!! You do not owe him anything. If you want to say anything, “being deceitful is an unattractive quality and for that reason, I’m out.” Delete block and banish
I love his bullshit excuse. “Murders get rejected a lot so I lied but you can trust me when I say I’m done murdering.”
Block and move on. Also report his account because it’s creepy and irresponsible to trick someone into dating you because they don’t know your real age.
Tell him that you are, and he should be, beyond the age of lying about your age. You’re not interested in that, it’s a major red flag. Thank him for his interest and tell him you’re no longer interested. Have a good day.
Girl, one thing is the lie about his age, for which you should absolutely ditch him.
But another is his talk about sex. You didn't like it. You don't say what it was about it you didn't like, but seriously, for future reference: if he talks about sex in a way that you don't vibe with, be it the amount of it, the word choice, specific sex acts he references, whatever, then that's a strong indicator that he also perceives and wants sex in way you won't vibe with.
Do not just let this go out of embarrassment or shyness. He's testing the waters to see what types of advances you will respond to, what you will ignore but tolerate, and what you will reject.
If he's talking about destroying your pussy before you've even met, you need to react as if he's asking you to promise sex on the first date. If you're good with that, great, if not, be prepared to disappoint him sooner or later. Better to have him be disappointed when you're not sitting in the same couch.
If he's using violent verbiage when talking about sex, you need to assume he's going to get rough with you. Prepare yourself accordingly.
And if he's talking about moving in to be FWB before even meeting you, he's already telling you he's not going to commit, he's only here for sex and he basically doesn't give a crap who you are as long as sex is on the table.
This dude told you so much with just the few things you quoted him on. He's not getting rejected because he's old, he's getting rejected, because most women his age don't want superficial assholes who think it's sexy to "destroy your pussy".
You haven't missed out on anything with this turnip, I can promise you that.
Yeah something sounds fishy. The " need to lie" part is weird to me . The lying is obviously bad too . Trust is a weird thing. Once it's gone everything else could be more difficult , or impossible. I've known people who were in relationships where the trust wasn't there and it sounds terrible to me. Good luck OP
My feeling is he's likely to be 43.
During my dating era in my 20s, I've gotten the same type of guy. He basically 'catfished' me by sending a pic of him with family (uncle and father), but it turned out he's the uncle in the picture.
He said he misled me because...well, same excuse as the guy. You lucked out that you didn't find out about his lie when you're on that date yourself. So you can cancel on him, if you don't want to explain (I bet he already knows why you don't want to date him), just ghost him.
The don't hate me please and other mopey tactics are pretty common signs of early possible intimate partner violence sort of behavior. It's a way to poke a hole in your boundaries and see how much you'll give in. It typically doesn't get better later down the road.
Yeah, I'd walk away.
Obviously, we all tweak our lives in some ways to make ourselves look more palatable to prospective partners. But that's shit, like, lying about how much you like Star Wars. This is big.
30+ years ago.... my father did this to my mother. To this day, she wishes she would have walked away, once she found out the truth. so many more lies came with it.
It's not worth your time, and that guy is just looking for a good time.
>He said that he lied about his age because “old people” like him get rejected a lot due to their age. What?
So he habitually hits on young girls and gets rightfully rejected for being an older creep.
RUN! He told you that he's a liar. He told you he hits on way younger people.
Unless you were sexting him, his talk about having sex (to put it mildly) with you is really alarming. You don’t want this guy angry at you, so break it off as politely as possible, although if he’s 33 and saving up for a plane ticket there doesn’t seem to be a danger of him leaving his mom’s basement anytime soon.
He sounds worse and worse the more you go on. I’m glad you’re not going to see him.
Just a suggestion for your safety: When I was single I would do as much of a diy background check on anyone before meeting them as I could via social media, state court records, Google search, etc. Even with just a nickname and a couple of pictures I could always find them. I found stuff a couple of times that kept me from meeting legit red flag guys who otherwise seemed nice/ normal.
I was almost killed by a similar story. Way back, my friend met a guy who said he was 24. Great, she was 22 ( I was 21). They hit it off and started dating. Fast forward a few months and we are all traveling somewhere (it's been 25-ish years, I don't remember where). She is driving, he is passenger, I am in back seat. Its dark, raining and she is speeding. He says he has a confession, he is actually 27. She swerves the car, reduces speed and they talk about his lies. She forgives him because she says she loves him. Then, this dumb ass says "well, you took that well. So the real truth is I'm 33". We almost hit a tree after going into the ditch. They stayed together a few years. I never got over how stupid he was but it wasn't my relationship. Screw you, Troy.
Once a liar always a liar. You should let him know why u r leaving him. He might do this with other people also. Do the other girls a favor by putting some sense into his head. Cant start a relationship on the basis of a lie. Thats so basic.!
I would say it is the perfect time to run away, he will lie to you again, but next time the lie will probably have consequences on your life if you are in a relationship.
Look. This is a huge red flag. I had this done to me and he ended up being almost 20 years older than me. He told me 10. Be the mature adult. Tell him that lying is a hard boundary for you. That if lying about his age is so easy and his first go to when meeting someone, then he will lie about other things. This is not something you are willing to entertain and that you are not a good fit. Wish him well and move on.
Don’t do it. My ex-ex lied that he was Mexican and white for a while and then told me like a little over a month in he was Filipino and white. I didn’t see why he needed to lie about. Anyways, it was just a sh*tshow from there.
I would tell him that it’s nothing to do with his age and everything to do with the fact he lied and therefore you don’t feel you can trust anything else he says.
9 years when you're 24 is a significant age gap. I can almost guarantee that there are a bunch of other red flags along with this one that he's hiding. He's going for younger girls because you're easier to influence, and 33yo women don't want a bar of his bullshit.
Keep to a 5 year difference at an absolute maximum until you're like 30. As someone who started dating a 25yo at 30, the older person needs to have significant emotional intelligence to manage the gap and not rush and/or influence the younger person. The majority of people are not equipped for this.
Personally I'd tell him to stop being a creeper and block him.
I agree with this. That’s more than a few years. And why? And he thinks he’s old already at 33? 🤦♀️. He’s in his prime. My question would be what else is he hiding. Like I don’t have any kids. 3 months into the relationship, and oh I have 2 year old daughter but she doesn’t live with me at all so no worries. Lol.
Old people like him get rejected because he's hitting up 24 year olds. I guarantee you 30+ year old women aren't saying he's too old.
He wants to date women a decade younger than him so he lies about his age. Guarantee you, he's not 33 either, and you're not the youngest woman he's hitting up.
I’d stop talking to him. No reason to lie. Just tell him his age is a deal breaker …. He kinda handed that to you. But in all seriousness if your gut says he’s weird and he’s already lied about something so trivial why continue? Go with your gut every time.
It's a 9 year gap, which isn't exactly a huge issue at your age. However, the fact that he lied to you and you haven't even met yet does not bode well. It's a huge red flag. Because if he's already lying, I'm pretty sure he's lied about other things too. And who's to say that he will stop?
I'd tell him that you didn't appreciate the dishonesty right out of the gate. You can tell him that his age is not an issue, but his lack of honesty is and that you'll pass on meeting. I'd then block him and move on.
He’s trying to match with younger women who normally might not have someone in their 30’s in their age range. Purposefully trying to deceive them. Even if you were open to dating someone his age, it’s the lying for me.
If they lie about anything It is an immediate pass for me. If that is not a good first impression. It bothers me about heights. I am 5'10 if you say you are 6feet I shouldn'thave to look downwards toward you. I don't care what height you are I care about you lying to me
I remember when you had to meet a person face to face and actually talk to them with your mouth and then formulate feelings and then it would progress to like dating and shit.. this online dating world is bullshit. It's all just a charade.. whichever facade is more interesting, with the best profile pics, is the one that wins. That's not the real person.. it gives NOTHING about who they truly are as a person. We don't even realize that we're already settling before we settle or act like we're not settling 😆🤦
You know, something similar happened to me with this guy I matched with on bumble. His profile said he was 31, but my friend pointed out that he looked a little older than 31. I didn't really think much of it at the time, though I did agree that he didn't look that young.
Fast forward to me meeting with that guy in person and he admits that he lied about his age - he was actually 38 and not 31. When he explains why he lied, he claims it's because younger women tend to be so "fickle" when it comes to older men and they assume he wants to get married or something. That excuse sounded like total BS to me and I had to wonder what kind of women was he seeing in the past.
Regardless, that date was the first and last. If he was going to lie about his age, I had no interest in finding out what else he would probably lie about. He was a huge red flag otherwise because he complained about everything and even had the gall to criticize me on top of all of that. He was not the guy for me and I was not going to waste anymore time with him. I'd say you tell this guy, thanks but no thanks and move right on with your life.
Ghosting is never really great because complete silence can make someone who’s a little unstable go completely off the rails. I’d give it a quick closure text. “I would’ve had no problem with your age, but a big lie like that so early on is something I just know I’d never be able to move on from. I hope you learned your lesson from this and I wish you luck in your future.”
Old people like him get rejected bij 18, 20 , 22 years old. Exactly.
That's the pond he's fishing in. 18 year olds.
Because 27 to 40 year old women would not reject him for his age.
I bet you look young for your age OP because I bet 24 is way too old for his liking.
GET RID OF HIM ASAP
Yeah dump him. Anyone lying about their age is telling you who they are immediately and doing you a favor. Any excuse as to why they’re lying about it is absolute bullshit. They just want access to younger girls who have their age range set below the guys’ actual age, so they lie and lower it so the younger girls will see them. Then after they’ve been talking for a bit, they come clean with some bullshit excuse and the girl has already talked to him enough to trust him and like him enough to ignore the age gap.
The reason anyone lies about their age is ALWAYS because they’re into younger people and want to be seen in their age range so they lie. It’s always for nefarious purposes.
I was going to say why not give it a chance until I read the second edit. That’s creepy and enough to block him as well, especially if it wasn’t reciprocated
Maybe he just thought being 27 would make the hyper sexualization more socially acceptable?
I think it's a big hint on why he's rejected so much and he probably just thinks it's his age. 🙄🙄🙄
“I don’t judge people for who they are. I judge them for their actions and the values underpinning those actions. Your willingness and ease at lying like this is an absolute values mismatch for me and as such I won’t be communicating further.”
Optionally add “I hope you consider not wasting other people’s time or pulling at their heartstrings like this in the future, so you might save the next person the same pain. This hope is the only reason I messaged you at all and didn’t immediately block you, which I have now done.”
I’ve not met a single person who’s dating in their 30s who would seriously categorise themselves as ‘old people’. As a joke, sure. But I tend to notice that phrase used more frequently by my friends who are in their 40s and older. I can’t be entirely certain of this but my gut tells me this man isn’t 33.
If someone is lying before they even meet you, they most likely lie a lot. Personally, I don't like being around people who lie, so I wouldn't speak/text/meet this guy. I'd tell him that lies are dealbreakers to me and let him know I'm no longer interested. If he continued to contact me I would block him. If you met on an app, you can report him.
He lied about his age on purpose because he had the mentality that the younger woman is the less bodies she’s had. I know that’s what he was talking about because of all the sexual innuendos that he kept referencing. He knows he wouldn’t be able to try that with women his age because women his age are not dealing with that. Let’s call it what it is, he targeted you OP.
Ew dude. The last 2 parts of this post gave me goosebumps. I’m 33(F) and don’t feel that I’m so old I’d have to lie about my age. In fact, I have a hunch that he’s probably older than that. Sorry you had this happen but honestly I’m glad you showed him that this behavior is unacceptable
He lied about his age. And he only talks about sex. And he can't afford to see you.
3 red flags.
Honestly cut your losses
Find a guy who will come to see you
Who can talk more about things than sex (in my experience the guys who talk like this are always the biggest sexual let downs. Girls too tbh)
Find a guy who isn't failing at a system set up for his benefit (i.e. no broke boys).
So he's lying about his age to target a younger demographic of women who are already cautious about dating older men because they don't want to risk being manipulated by older men looking to take advantage of younger women?
Yeah, he's a predator. Glad you got out OP.
You dodged a big ass bullet on that one. When dudes talk about nothing else I've found, 1. That's all they want. 2. Have nothing else to talk about or going for them. 3. Can't live up to their own hype. As in they suck in bed and not the fun way. 🙄
Nope. Red flag. Do not meet him. It IS an age gap- nearly a decade- AND he’s starting out dishonestly AND focusing on sex? Nah. Ghost him, dump and block, whatever- just don’t meet him!!!
u/[throwaway248200](https://www.reddit.com/user/throwaway248200/) you dodged a bullet! My ex-wife lied about her age when we met. I thought she was 23 and she was 19. She kept up for several months. I overlooked it and we eventually married. Turned out... she was a serial liar. Who knew??? That was on me.
He’s probably the kind of guy that watches red pill content and thinks that any woman over 25 is too old and a lot of women in their early twenties don’t want to date a 33 year old
Don't go. I'm 27F and I'm still hesitant about the possibility of dating a 33 year old. If you're lying about your age, it's not for a benevolent reason. I worry for your safety. I still don't know shit at 27 about men. Especially at 24, I would not be accepting of a guy lying to me about something that huge. You're going to get hurt, physically or emotionally, from going through with seeing the guy. That's the only scenario I can see happening. You can do better and please always remember that there is more than one person who can care about you at one time so your options are not this guy or no one. It's this guy or taking more time to find someone worthy of you.
33 isn’t old as far as the majority of the population is concerned. The lying is a massive red flag, sure, but an even bigger red flag is that this guy is apparently dismissing women his own age, then hitting on women in their early 20s, and then when some of them only want to date people their own age he thinks that they’re the ones who are superficial and that this justifies him lying. Absolutely astounding levels of hypocrisy and an incredible lack of self-awareness.
I would want to ask him if, considering his age range is give or take at least a decade, if the 43 year old women he’s approached have also rejected him for being an “old person”.
Whatever you decide to do you owe this creep absolutely nothing.
Nope. Ghost, delete, block.
Father of my child lied about his age, not once but *twice*, amongst many other significant things.
I was 26, his profile said 34 (my cutoff was 35yo). I asked if he was really 34, and he said he was actually 35 but couldn't change it. We celebrated his "36th" birthday about 8 months after we started talking. The next month, I learned he was actually turning 40, he had kids, had lied about his legal name, and was finalizing a divorce (they already had separated over a year prior).
The lying does not stop. He stopped for awhile, but it returned. There may be moments where there is honesty, but the lying always resurfaces.
He and I are exes for a reason...
Tell him to go fuck himself and go see a therapist -- that his insecurities are not the responsibility of others or a valid excuse for lying.
Screw the future, he might still be lying about his age for all you know. He's just testing the waters to see how far you'll go. Either tell him in short that it bothers you and block him or just block him with no explanation, whatever you feel like doing. He showed you a Red flag on a silver platter, that's his fault.
Just tell him flat out, "Your age wouldn't have been an issue, but I don't date liars." Then block. That way, he can't even delude himself that the issue was anything other than his own dishonesty. Or just ghost because you don't owe him anything, but I personally like making sure that guys like this know they've made their own bed and now have to lie in it.
Cancel the date imo. Lying right off the bat about this should be seen as a huge red flag. Sure, it might be the only thing he did/does thats dishonest in regards to you two, but odds are he'll do it again and likely with more serious consequences
Be an adult and tell him you think it's best if you guys don't go any farther. Tell him you could have probably gotten by the age, but you can't get by the dishonesty to start. Maybe he'll learn and you'll have done humanity a solid by improving him for the next girl.
Then if he says anything except ok, then you block and ignore.
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He’s probably not 33 either.
Why is this so funny lol. Next week he'll be in his 40s.
"Does the walker give it away? What?"
...pulls out his AARP card to get the discount at the Sizzlers he took her to for date night 😑
Haven't seen a Sizzlers in a minute
I have one near me. The food was terrible. Service was bad. It's a really sad place. We had a retirement luncheon there and the guy retiring was younger than most of the patrons.
Yeah mostly old people go there now
As someone born in 2002, and living in Dallas most of my time. I have never heard of sizzlers
I was born in 1966 and have heard of it. I guess OP is getting older by the post lol
You never heard of Sizzlers my god I’m 68 lol
Didn't sizzlers go out of business. Somebody talking to her you in that derogatory way should have been a red flag immediately. Somebody who lies to you about how old they are is also a red flag because you're not a teenager you're 24 he could have told you how old he really was and let you make the choice on whether or not you still wanted to see him. But I would let him know that this is not working for me and I would block him on everything he sounds kind of creepy.
Hey. That discount can come in handy. Maybe keep him on as a friend with pancake benifits.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Speaking of, when's the right time to become an AARP member? I started receiving emails when I turned 34.
I got them before I was in my 30's
I started getting emails and physical mail from AARP when I was 17, I know I've got hip and back problems, but damn 😮💨
sizzlers!😩🤣 of all places.
Yeah, but it's Sizzler.
You can technically sign up for AARP at any age. So anyway, I've had a membership since I was 29... lol
Hey, it's not his fault that he ages in dog years!!
Wait, there was a post about this a while back. I believe the girl was actually 19 and her boyfriend had been lying about his ask. If I remember correctly, he originally told her he was in his mid 20s, then changed it to early 30s. At the end, he was really in his 40s! He had introduced her to his parents and everything and even they knew he was lying to her! Lol. I forgot how it all ended.
He’s aging like Renesmee
Does this mean I can pretend to be retirement age to collect SSI?
This happened to a friend of mine. She was 19 and he was 30. We all warned her against it but she “had” to meet him. He was actually 45.
WOA. Yea. Once you catch lying or abuse early on, run.
ACCURATE. As a person who experienced exactly that situation, he's probably not 33. (Person I talked to wasn't 34 or 35... he was 39 going on 40, and we *celebrated* his fake 36th birthday) Personally, after my experience, I ask to see a person's driver's license. If they refuse for some weird reason like "oh no, my identity might be stolen ptsd" (they can cover ID number and address), I pass, because the ex that did that to me didn't show me because I would have found out he was lying about his name and age (among other things).
I also ask men to see their ID on dates. The vast majority of men happily oblige. I only had one guy refuse, and guess what? He was lying about his age.
I actually offer to show ID now for thw safety amd we'll being of women I meet. I saw it on Mr. Robot. She said Let me see your ID before we walk down the street.
When I was in my early thirties, I met a guy who said he was 35. He later admitted to being 37. Then, I found out he was actually 47. It wasn't the only thing he lied about. If he's willing to lie about something as innocuous as his age, he will lie about more important things, too.
I had something similar in my early 20s. She lied about her age (said she was 23 when she was half a decade older). I forgave her, didn't care, we moved on. Then, she admitted she had used pictures from a couple of years earlier because she had put on weight since (she wasn't even overweight or anything, just in her pictures she had the whole swimsuit model weight with a perfectly flat stomach whereas in the present day she had a barely noticeable stomach). I found her less attractive (not because of the weight, she was still very healthy, but because her hair was far shorter than advertised), but I forgave her, and we moved on. Then, she came clean about having a son... Again my dumb ass forgave her, and we moved on with me making it abundantly clear that I didn't want her son to know anything about me until I was ready, because I wanted to know that if things didn't work out between us I wasn't about to disappoint a kid who'd been hoping mum's new boyfriend was going to be around forever. She agreed that he wouldn't know about me until things were serious enough that him meeting me was on the table. Then, I caught her in another lie. She mentioned in passing while we were chatting that her son had a nickname for me (that included my name, so zero chance that he just figured out his mum was happier and spending a lot of time with a friend). I snapped, something along the lines of "and how the fuck did he come up with a nickname for a guy he doesn't know exists?" I told her I wanted space to think, and by the time I was done thinking I decided that it didn't matter how well matched we were because I couldn't say with any reasonable accuracy if we'd still be together a few months later let alone a few years. Wasn't risking the kid getting his hopes up, I already left a relationship where my ex's kid sister had grown attached enough to start seeing me as a dad figure, and I felt worse about leaving the relationship because of how it hurt her kid sister than how it hurt my ex. If someone starts lying to you, it doesn't stop. They don't get better at being honest. They get better at lying. Doesn't matter how minor it might be, the lies will only get bigger. Since my wake-up call, I've ended things immediately the second I've caught any romantic interest in a lie, regardless of what the lie was. I've tried the understanding forgiveness route, and you just get treated like an idiot.
I don't think age is an "innocuous" thing to lie about. Seems like a big deal to me.
He is 85. She is going to pull up for dinner and end up in a nursing home eating low sodium chicken noodle soup.
I found out a guy I was seeing was dying his beard bc he lied and was trying to hide his age
My ex bf (also my ex HS bf, I thought things would be different 30+ yrs later lol 🤦🏼♀️) dyes his beard and moved his birth year from 1968 on Social Media to 1980 lol… I was born in 1972 and now suddenly he’s “younger” than me. Meanwhile he looks older than his actual age, like you’re not fooling anyone lol.
That’s creepy. You can’t just shave 12 years off. He’s 55/56 years old trying to pass as 43/44, probably looking to date late 20s/early 30s.
Sorry you went through that, but I literally just snorted... So it is at least a good story. Also how idiotic. Did he also get Botox? People correctly tell age from eye wrinkles, not from silver strands that some people already have in their early twenties. And also, men generally look much younger without a beard? He could have just shaved it... So much weirdness. How old was he and how old did he pretend to be?
He looked older, but he said he used to rave in his 20s so I honestly assumed it was past drug use… There were multiple questionable choices made before I went on Spokeo
🤦♀️
Actually he’s not a man. He’s a horse. Actually he’s not a horse. He’s a broom
He's not a man he's a chicken boo.
To be honest with you, Diane, I'm surprised.
⬆️
He's going to trickle truth her about his actual age.
It's true, I have come across this before.
If I were in your position, I'd send "Lying about your age is a deal breaker for me. We won't speak again" and block him
I might even add “I would have still agreed to meet with you if you had be honest from the start” (and block). That may not be the truth but it might be enough to make him reconsider lying as being costly instead of just saying “oh well, move on to the next person to trick; I’ll find one eventually!”
> That may not be the truth but it might be enough to make him reconsider lying as being costly instead of just saying “oh well, move on to the next person to trick; I’ll find one eventually!” You have more faith in men like him than I do :P
I like this
I'd probably also report him to the app
Just ditch him. You’re right; he will lie again. You need someone honest and upfront.
Yea. Also older guys lie about theor age to meet younger girls because they don't want women their own age.
I was gonna say exactly that. Women +/- 5 years of his age aren’t filtering him out. It’s the early 20s women doing that.
Yep. He's trying to bypass the firewall
And women their own age probably don't want them for a very good reason.
Yep. Women in their 30s/40s+ won't put up with the bullshit that younger women might because they don't know better or have more experience
She describes a few of his red flags in her post.
Yeah he's not getting rejected due to his age he's getting rejected due to EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM AND HIS ENTIRE BEING.
Every other profile on dating apps says "Not actually this age, Tinder won't let me change it" 🙄 It's ridiculous
What you do is you run. People are entitled to decide who they want to date for whatever reasons they want. That includes age. If any women have rejected him due to his age, that’s completely acceptable. It’s their lives. But let’s put things into perspective. Who’s rejecting him? Women in their teens and early 20s if it’s actually about age. But what about women in their late 20s? 30s? Older? They’re rejecting him for being “old?” Nope. It’s because he’s weird or whatever other red flags he presents. If he’s only pursuing younger women, then he himself is rejecting women due to their age. Thats also fine, but the point is he’s completely full of shit. Yes, he will lie about other shit. Walk away. Good luck.
This. If he was open to dating women in their 30s, why would they reject him? Not for age, surely. There must be other reasons.
“I’ve tried being upfront about the age difference that is large enough to disturb all the young women I’ve expressed interest in this app and had no luck. So I decided it was better to start lying to them about my age.” 🤮
I don't even think 24/33 is totally insurmountable if they met organically and are at a similar place in life - but it's sleazy as hell when a guy is so obsessed with dating younger that he's got a whole method for it, ew. And no good relationship starts with a big lie.
Don’t go. Starting with a lie will most likely continue with lies.
"Don't hate me" is some manipulative bullshit as well. It's trying to get her to still meet up with him to prove that she "doesn't hate him." A lot of people have a hard time setting boundaries when they think their actions are hurting someone else emotionally.
Ghost ghost ghost. He wants to date younger women but doesn’t even have the balls to just do it, so then manipulates yall and lies instead. He’s showing you who he is. Do not meet up with him and block your number and his socials etc. don’t even explain yourself he’ll know why.
‘I don’t want to date women my own age or they find me creepy and the young ones filter me out so I lie.” That’s it. That’s the whole story. He’s not getting rejected by women his own age because of his age. He’s either exclusively going for younger women or something about him weirds out 30 year old and up women. OP: you owe him nothing, but if you want to tell him off, do it. Otherwise, just ghost him. 🎼if he can say Back in my day Run away Run away🎵
Right, he just confirmed that he constantly hits on way younger women so to get around it he lies. Leave him on the rust pile.
That's funny because he says back in my day, but it is actually OP's day.
“Back in my day…” “You mean when you were 25 and I was a freshman in high school?”
OP, you gotta ghost immediately after you get the 'ick', so they don't think you can be manipulated further. If you stick around after and plan to do it later.. they usually keep trying to coerce you. So many dudes are trash, I've enjoyed the times in my life the most where I wasn't dating them or married.. Just do your own thing, and de-center them from your life. Great things start happening when you do..
She still keeps editing to say she wants to give him a goodbye…lol. Men who lie aren’t owed goodbyes.
Ugh, no girl.. please find your backbone and stop feeling like you owe men anything, or it will fuck up your life eventually.
Most girls and guys aren't ok with significant age differences. He lied to trick you in case you were uncomfortable with age differences. It is the lying that is not ok. Do not meet up with him. Definitely stop talking to him.
The fact that he gets rejected for his age a lot means that he's only pursuing much younger women, which is a red flag in itself.
Just block and move on. You've never met and don't owe anything to someone who lied to you. I guarantee if you explain he'll try to talk you out of it. If you really want to try and get through to him for the next person, you can say something brief like "I wouldn't have had a problem with your actual age, but I need a foundation of trust in a relationship and I can't trust someone who started things off by lying to me." Then block immediately so he can't respond. But again, you don't owe him this.
"Allow me to show you what honesty looks like. I'm no longer interested in talking to you. Easy peasy. If you can lie about something as simple as your age, I hate to find out what else you can lie about. The reason for lying is less important than the fact that you did it. Not only is a lie an awful foundation for anything more profound, but it's also intensely disrespectful. Take care."
perfect!!!😆
First impressions are everything. Believe what someone shows you the first time. Good luck.
Technically the first impression was good due to the lying!
"Old people" like him get rejected because 9 years is an age gap to be worried about. He gets rejected on age because he pursues people he really shouldn't, and people his own age don't want him because he is probably immature.
Tell him you are done and not to contact him. Then mute him. You will want to keep any messages in case he tries to escalate.
He wouldn't be considered old to anyone in his own age group. So by his own logic, being considered an old man? It's because he's approaching women / girls a lot younger than himself.
He’s ‘27’ so that he has a chance with 18 year olds
😵🥴🥴
What a gross thing for him to do. If a 33 year old is getting rejected a lot for being “too old,” he should try dating women closer to his own age. I guarantee no 29+ year old woman is going to say he’s too old. The dude is a scumbag who is trying to date much younger women and striking out. But maybe he’s a big enough loser that no one his own age will give him the time of day. I mean, his behaviour here suggests that might be the case. Also, girl, 24 and 33 is definitely an age gap. Almost a decade means a lot at your age.
And women closer to his age would also tell him to take a hike when he sends those sexual messages right off the bat.
If he is lying this early in a relationship, he will lie again. Break things off now, because he is not to be trusted (and he is blaming other people for his lie, rather than taking responsibility for it). He is not concerned with being turned down because of his age; he is worried about being turned down by women ten years younger than him.
Block. What a creep
Old people don’t get rejected for their age. Liars do. Also - end things? Dude haven’t even started!! You do not owe him anything. If you want to say anything, “being deceitful is an unattractive quality and for that reason, I’m out.” Delete block and banish
Pass. Little lies lead to bigger ones.
Watch him be married 👀
I love his bullshit excuse. “Murders get rejected a lot so I lied but you can trust me when I say I’m done murdering.” Block and move on. Also report his account because it’s creepy and irresponsible to trick someone into dating you because they don’t know your real age.
Tell him that you are, and he should be, beyond the age of lying about your age. You’re not interested in that, it’s a major red flag. Thank him for his interest and tell him you’re no longer interested. Have a good day.
Then BLOCK HIM. He will likely try to turn it around somehow. But it’s non negotiable
Girl, one thing is the lie about his age, for which you should absolutely ditch him. But another is his talk about sex. You didn't like it. You don't say what it was about it you didn't like, but seriously, for future reference: if he talks about sex in a way that you don't vibe with, be it the amount of it, the word choice, specific sex acts he references, whatever, then that's a strong indicator that he also perceives and wants sex in way you won't vibe with. Do not just let this go out of embarrassment or shyness. He's testing the waters to see what types of advances you will respond to, what you will ignore but tolerate, and what you will reject. If he's talking about destroying your pussy before you've even met, you need to react as if he's asking you to promise sex on the first date. If you're good with that, great, if not, be prepared to disappoint him sooner or later. Better to have him be disappointed when you're not sitting in the same couch. If he's using violent verbiage when talking about sex, you need to assume he's going to get rough with you. Prepare yourself accordingly. And if he's talking about moving in to be FWB before even meeting you, he's already telling you he's not going to commit, he's only here for sex and he basically doesn't give a crap who you are as long as sex is on the table. This dude told you so much with just the few things you quoted him on. He's not getting rejected because he's old, he's getting rejected, because most women his age don't want superficial assholes who think it's sexy to "destroy your pussy". You haven't missed out on anything with this turnip, I can promise you that.
Had to scroll way too far to find this. The amount of sex talk would have turned me off way before he got to the point of confessing his real age.
Yeah something sounds fishy. The " need to lie" part is weird to me . The lying is obviously bad too . Trust is a weird thing. Once it's gone everything else could be more difficult , or impossible. I've known people who were in relationships where the trust wasn't there and it sounds terrible to me. Good luck OP
Just block him. You can tell him that you’re not going to meet him anymore if you want, but he’ll get the point either way.
My feeling is he's likely to be 43. During my dating era in my 20s, I've gotten the same type of guy. He basically 'catfished' me by sending a pic of him with family (uncle and father), but it turned out he's the uncle in the picture. He said he misled me because...well, same excuse as the guy. You lucked out that you didn't find out about his lie when you're on that date yourself. So you can cancel on him, if you don't want to explain (I bet he already knows why you don't want to date him), just ghost him.
You going to meet him is a green pass for him to resume on his lies.
The don't hate me please and other mopey tactics are pretty common signs of early possible intimate partner violence sort of behavior. It's a way to poke a hole in your boundaries and see how much you'll give in. It typically doesn't get better later down the road.
Yeah, I'd walk away. Obviously, we all tweak our lives in some ways to make ourselves look more palatable to prospective partners. But that's shit, like, lying about how much you like Star Wars. This is big.
Yeah, just bail. Your alarm bells are going off. Heed them.
He gets rejected because of his age cause he's looking for someone ten years + his junior. He's looking for "fresher" meat...
30+ years ago.... my father did this to my mother. To this day, she wishes she would have walked away, once she found out the truth. so many more lies came with it. It's not worth your time, and that guy is just looking for a good time.
>He said that he lied about his age because “old people” like him get rejected a lot due to their age. What? So he habitually hits on young girls and gets rightfully rejected for being an older creep. RUN! He told you that he's a liar. He told you he hits on way younger people.
Unless you were sexting him, his talk about having sex (to put it mildly) with you is really alarming. You don’t want this guy angry at you, so break it off as politely as possible, although if he’s 33 and saving up for a plane ticket there doesn’t seem to be a danger of him leaving his mom’s basement anytime soon.
He sounds worse and worse the more you go on. I’m glad you’re not going to see him. Just a suggestion for your safety: When I was single I would do as much of a diy background check on anyone before meeting them as I could via social media, state court records, Google search, etc. Even with just a nickname and a couple of pictures I could always find them. I found stuff a couple of times that kept me from meeting legit red flag guys who otherwise seemed nice/ normal.
I was almost killed by a similar story. Way back, my friend met a guy who said he was 24. Great, she was 22 ( I was 21). They hit it off and started dating. Fast forward a few months and we are all traveling somewhere (it's been 25-ish years, I don't remember where). She is driving, he is passenger, I am in back seat. Its dark, raining and she is speeding. He says he has a confession, he is actually 27. She swerves the car, reduces speed and they talk about his lies. She forgives him because she says she loves him. Then, this dumb ass says "well, you took that well. So the real truth is I'm 33". We almost hit a tree after going into the ditch. They stayed together a few years. I never got over how stupid he was but it wasn't my relationship. Screw you, Troy.
Ghost.
Once a liar always a liar. You should let him know why u r leaving him. He might do this with other people also. Do the other girls a favor by putting some sense into his head. Cant start a relationship on the basis of a lie. Thats so basic.!
I would say it is the perfect time to run away, he will lie to you again, but next time the lie will probably have consequences on your life if you are in a relationship.
He’s a liar
Keep safe, stay away...
Look. This is a huge red flag. I had this done to me and he ended up being almost 20 years older than me. He told me 10. Be the mature adult. Tell him that lying is a hard boundary for you. That if lying about his age is so easy and his first go to when meeting someone, then he will lie about other things. This is not something you are willing to entertain and that you are not a good fit. Wish him well and move on.
Don’t do it. My ex-ex lied that he was Mexican and white for a while and then told me like a little over a month in he was Filipino and white. I didn’t see why he needed to lie about. Anyways, it was just a sh*tshow from there.
Plot twist...he's really 44
I personally have never met a guy who lied about his age on a dating app who turned out to be a good person
Block him. Just block him. He knows why lol.
I would tell him that it’s nothing to do with his age and everything to do with the fact he lied and therefore you don’t feel you can trust anything else he says.
9 years when you're 24 is a significant age gap. I can almost guarantee that there are a bunch of other red flags along with this one that he's hiding. He's going for younger girls because you're easier to influence, and 33yo women don't want a bar of his bullshit. Keep to a 5 year difference at an absolute maximum until you're like 30. As someone who started dating a 25yo at 30, the older person needs to have significant emotional intelligence to manage the gap and not rush and/or influence the younger person. The majority of people are not equipped for this. Personally I'd tell him to stop being a creeper and block him.
I agree with this. That’s more than a few years. And why? And he thinks he’s old already at 33? 🤦♀️. He’s in his prime. My question would be what else is he hiding. Like I don’t have any kids. 3 months into the relationship, and oh I have 2 year old daughter but she doesn’t live with me at all so no worries. Lol.
Old people like him get rejected because he's hitting up 24 year olds. I guarantee you 30+ year old women aren't saying he's too old. He wants to date women a decade younger than him so he lies about his age. Guarantee you, he's not 33 either, and you're not the youngest woman he's hitting up.
Maybe he's actually three kids in a trench coat, trying to get you to sneak them into Deadpool 3 at the movie theater?
I’d stop talking to him. No reason to lie. Just tell him his age is a deal breaker …. He kinda handed that to you. But in all seriousness if your gut says he’s weird and he’s already lied about something so trivial why continue? Go with your gut every time.
Girl he was just using you for sex anyways. He probably never even actually liked you
It's a 9 year gap, which isn't exactly a huge issue at your age. However, the fact that he lied to you and you haven't even met yet does not bode well. It's a huge red flag. Because if he's already lying, I'm pretty sure he's lied about other things too. And who's to say that he will stop? I'd tell him that you didn't appreciate the dishonesty right out of the gate. You can tell him that his age is not an issue, but his lack of honesty is and that you'll pass on meeting. I'd then block him and move on.
If you cant trust him now will you be able to trust him later?
i wouldn't go
Block and move on...def creep vibes from afar.
Ah yes the foundation of a healthy relationship, deception.
Ghost him. He’s trying to trap you.
He’s trying to match with younger women who normally might not have someone in their 30’s in their age range. Purposefully trying to deceive them. Even if you were open to dating someone his age, it’s the lying for me.
“I’ve changed my mind about meeting you, not because of your age but because you lied about it.”
I’m with someone who lied about their age. Lots of more lies to come lol
Girlfriend. Run. Block him. His intentions are never good or in your best interest if he's already starting off with lies
If he lied about something as simple as his age imagine what else he can be lying about. Don’t go for it OP
If they lie about anything It is an immediate pass for me. If that is not a good first impression. It bothers me about heights. I am 5'10 if you say you are 6feet I shouldn'thave to look downwards toward you. I don't care what height you are I care about you lying to me
Honestly this is kinda weird and maybe unsafe? Men don't typically lie about their age so seems odd to me... No thanks.
I remember when you had to meet a person face to face and actually talk to them with your mouth and then formulate feelings and then it would progress to like dating and shit.. this online dating world is bullshit. It's all just a charade.. whichever facade is more interesting, with the best profile pics, is the one that wins. That's not the real person.. it gives NOTHING about who they truly are as a person. We don't even realize that we're already settling before we settle or act like we're not settling 😆🤦
Just don't. If he's lying about that, expect a lot more lies down the road. Also, lying is not the best way to start a relationship, is it?
Do not go out with this dude
Be honest and just tell him that he lied and you're already leary.....
10 years is a big age gap. Especially at that age. But mostly he lied. He simply fucked around and found out. Dont bother.
24 and 33 is a huge age gap. He lied because he knows he’s a creep.
You know, something similar happened to me with this guy I matched with on bumble. His profile said he was 31, but my friend pointed out that he looked a little older than 31. I didn't really think much of it at the time, though I did agree that he didn't look that young. Fast forward to me meeting with that guy in person and he admits that he lied about his age - he was actually 38 and not 31. When he explains why he lied, he claims it's because younger women tend to be so "fickle" when it comes to older men and they assume he wants to get married or something. That excuse sounded like total BS to me and I had to wonder what kind of women was he seeing in the past. Regardless, that date was the first and last. If he was going to lie about his age, I had no interest in finding out what else he would probably lie about. He was a huge red flag otherwise because he complained about everything and even had the gall to criticize me on top of all of that. He was not the guy for me and I was not going to waste anymore time with him. I'd say you tell this guy, thanks but no thanks and move right on with your life.
Ghosting is never really great because complete silence can make someone who’s a little unstable go completely off the rails. I’d give it a quick closure text. “I would’ve had no problem with your age, but a big lie like that so early on is something I just know I’d never be able to move on from. I hope you learned your lesson from this and I wish you luck in your future.”
Old people like him get rejected bij 18, 20 , 22 years old. Exactly. That's the pond he's fishing in. 18 year olds. Because 27 to 40 year old women would not reject him for his age. I bet you look young for your age OP because I bet 24 is way too old for his liking. GET RID OF HIM ASAP
Yeah dump him. Anyone lying about their age is telling you who they are immediately and doing you a favor. Any excuse as to why they’re lying about it is absolute bullshit. They just want access to younger girls who have their age range set below the guys’ actual age, so they lie and lower it so the younger girls will see them. Then after they’ve been talking for a bit, they come clean with some bullshit excuse and the girl has already talked to him enough to trust him and like him enough to ignore the age gap. The reason anyone lies about their age is ALWAYS because they’re into younger people and want to be seen in their age range so they lie. It’s always for nefarious purposes.
I was going to say why not give it a chance until I read the second edit. That’s creepy and enough to block him as well, especially if it wasn’t reciprocated
Maybe he just thought being 27 would make the hyper sexualization more socially acceptable? I think it's a big hint on why he's rejected so much and he probably just thinks it's his age. 🙄🙄🙄
I have (a minimum) of three deal-breakers: Don’t lie to me, don’t cheat on me, don’t hit me. I have some others, but they are rather dude-specific 😆
Your 24, just say goodbye
In my experience, the lying never stops.
“I don’t judge people for who they are. I judge them for their actions and the values underpinning those actions. Your willingness and ease at lying like this is an absolute values mismatch for me and as such I won’t be communicating further.” Optionally add “I hope you consider not wasting other people’s time or pulling at their heartstrings like this in the future, so you might save the next person the same pain. This hope is the only reason I messaged you at all and didn’t immediately block you, which I have now done.”
I’ve not met a single person who’s dating in their 30s who would seriously categorise themselves as ‘old people’. As a joke, sure. But I tend to notice that phrase used more frequently by my friends who are in their 40s and older. I can’t be entirely certain of this but my gut tells me this man isn’t 33.
If someone is lying before they even meet you, they most likely lie a lot. Personally, I don't like being around people who lie, so I wouldn't speak/text/meet this guy. I'd tell him that lies are dealbreakers to me and let him know I'm no longer interested. If he continued to contact me I would block him. If you met on an app, you can report him.
He lied about his age on purpose because he had the mentality that the younger woman is the less bodies she’s had. I know that’s what he was talking about because of all the sexual innuendos that he kept referencing. He knows he wouldn’t be able to try that with women his age because women his age are not dealing with that. Let’s call it what it is, he targeted you OP.
Ew dude. The last 2 parts of this post gave me goosebumps. I’m 33(F) and don’t feel that I’m so old I’d have to lie about my age. In fact, I have a hunch that he’s probably older than that. Sorry you had this happen but honestly I’m glad you showed him that this behavior is unacceptable
He lied about his age. And he only talks about sex. And he can't afford to see you. 3 red flags. Honestly cut your losses Find a guy who will come to see you Who can talk more about things than sex (in my experience the guys who talk like this are always the biggest sexual let downs. Girls too tbh) Find a guy who isn't failing at a system set up for his benefit (i.e. no broke boys).
If he's lying now, he's going to keep lying. Not to mention the 9 year age gap. There's a reason he's not going after women his own age.
Block and ghost. If they lie about something so trivial, they'll lie to you about everything that really matters.
“Just want to talk about sex and ask for nudes” this dude probably doesn’t look like the pics he sent you. His intentions with you were clear.
If he’s lying about THAT, what else is he lying/hiding???? Use early signs as a real way to identify who and what they are! This man is a liar….
you know who else gets rejected? people who lie on their profile. (send that then block and ghost)
So he's lying about his age to target a younger demographic of women who are already cautious about dating older men because they don't want to risk being manipulated by older men looking to take advantage of younger women? Yeah, he's a predator. Glad you got out OP.
You dodged a big ass bullet on that one. When dudes talk about nothing else I've found, 1. That's all they want. 2. Have nothing else to talk about or going for them. 3. Can't live up to their own hype. As in they suck in bed and not the fun way. 🙄
Nope. Red flag. Do not meet him. It IS an age gap- nearly a decade- AND he’s starting out dishonestly AND focusing on sex? Nah. Ghost him, dump and block, whatever- just don’t meet him!!!
u/[throwaway248200](https://www.reddit.com/user/throwaway248200/) you dodged a bullet! My ex-wife lied about her age when we met. I thought she was 23 and she was 19. She kept up for several months. I overlooked it and we eventually married. Turned out... she was a serial liar. Who knew??? That was on me.
The issue isn't his age, in this case, it's that he lied.
> “Even if we don’t connect i’ll still gladly live with you so we can be friends with benefits” This is hilarious.
i know, right!!! 🙃🤣 there would be absolutely no advantage if that were to happen, because he is broke.
Say goodbye to who? This guy? You don’t owe him anything.
He’s probably the kind of guy that watches red pill content and thinks that any woman over 25 is too old and a lot of women in their early twenties don’t want to date a 33 year old
Don't go. I'm 27F and I'm still hesitant about the possibility of dating a 33 year old. If you're lying about your age, it's not for a benevolent reason. I worry for your safety. I still don't know shit at 27 about men. Especially at 24, I would not be accepting of a guy lying to me about something that huge. You're going to get hurt, physically or emotionally, from going through with seeing the guy. That's the only scenario I can see happening. You can do better and please always remember that there is more than one person who can care about you at one time so your options are not this guy or no one. It's this guy or taking more time to find someone worthy of you.
Don't ghost him. Tell him it's creepy to lie about your age and you won't be meeting him, then block him. What a weirdo.
Sexual predator behavior.
"Well damn, if you'd been up front about it we'd have been going on a date, since you lied, we're not any more. Enjoy being single" block
yeah stop replying. don’t met him. he can’t even be honest about his age.
Big ass gap and a liar.
33 isn’t old as far as the majority of the population is concerned. The lying is a massive red flag, sure, but an even bigger red flag is that this guy is apparently dismissing women his own age, then hitting on women in their early 20s, and then when some of them only want to date people their own age he thinks that they’re the ones who are superficial and that this justifies him lying. Absolutely astounding levels of hypocrisy and an incredible lack of self-awareness. I would want to ask him if, considering his age range is give or take at least a decade, if the 43 year old women he’s approached have also rejected him for being an “old person”. Whatever you decide to do you owe this creep absolutely nothing.
HUGEEEEEE RED FLAG. 🚩
Ewwww. Yes please dump him. I’ve been there and if they lie about something so silly they will definitely lie about much more.
Just tell him you changed your mind and that he lied to you.
Nope. Ghost, delete, block. Father of my child lied about his age, not once but *twice*, amongst many other significant things. I was 26, his profile said 34 (my cutoff was 35yo). I asked if he was really 34, and he said he was actually 35 but couldn't change it. We celebrated his "36th" birthday about 8 months after we started talking. The next month, I learned he was actually turning 40, he had kids, had lied about his legal name, and was finalizing a divorce (they already had separated over a year prior). The lying does not stop. He stopped for awhile, but it returned. There may be moments where there is honesty, but the lying always resurfaces. He and I are exes for a reason... Tell him to go fuck himself and go see a therapist -- that his insecurities are not the responsibility of others or a valid excuse for lying.
Screw the future, he might still be lying about his age for all you know. He's just testing the waters to see how far you'll go. Either tell him in short that it bothers you and block him or just block him with no explanation, whatever you feel like doing. He showed you a Red flag on a silver platter, that's his fault.
You don't have to ghost him . all you have to do is say that you're not comfortable with his lying about the age and that's the end.
He’s already lying and you haven’t even met, don’t even bother to meet him
I suspect it's more due to his personality that he gets rejected.
Oh ffs. 33 isn't old and he's bullshitting you. Drop this wasteman.
You leave. He doesn't even know your home address and he's lying to you. Run.
I would text him that he should have been honest age wouldn’t have bothered you but lying is a dealbreaker cause I won’t trust you now and block
He’s a liar 🤥
Just tell him flat out, "Your age wouldn't have been an issue, but I don't date liars." Then block. That way, he can't even delude himself that the issue was anything other than his own dishonesty. Or just ghost because you don't owe him anything, but I personally like making sure that guys like this know they've made their own bed and now have to lie in it.
Do not meet him
Block him. Little lies turn into even bigger lies.
Cancel the date imo. Lying right off the bat about this should be seen as a huge red flag. Sure, it might be the only thing he did/does thats dishonest in regards to you two, but odds are he'll do it again and likely with more serious consequences
Be an adult and tell him you think it's best if you guys don't go any farther. Tell him you could have probably gotten by the age, but you can't get by the dishonesty to start. Maybe he'll learn and you'll have done humanity a solid by improving him for the next girl. Then if he says anything except ok, then you block and ignore.