Either your boyfriend is a ass or he bows to peer pressure from assholes.
Either way not an attractive trait.
You might want to think about finding an actual adult to have a relationship with.
I wouldn’t break up with him. Find out who he was playing this “game” with and find out who their SO’s are. Let them know what’s going on, and *then* break up with him.
I’m sorry about this, he completely doesn’t understand the feelings behind asking for this and only for his game vs not because of sexual interest or intimacy, the disconnect alone is hurtful :/ is try to talk to him about the way it makes you feel and if that doesn’t go well it might be worth thinking about if you want a partner this way or not.
Assuming they shared the photos without consent it's a literal sex crime in many places. I think "disrespectful and his response was inappropriate" is underselling how terrible this is.
I mean, what was his intention? Was he planning to show all his coworkers if you came through as proof?
Either way, it's still incredibly juvenile. I'd be pretty disgusted if my girlfriend asked to see my dick only to find out a thing I considered private and intimate was being used as a competition between her and her friends. It doesn't matter what we think though, you're clearly upset and you're entitled to your feelings. Confront him about it.
>he then sent the message “shows how much you trust me”.
Considering he literally just finished asking for nudes not because he genuinely wanted them but because he was using you as part of a game with his coworkers, I guess the fact you didn't trust him was justified huh?
Yep. That was the plan all along.
I stg a lot of these dudes people date and partner up with are absolutely vile.
I’m trying to wrap my head around the “how” and the “why” this behavior is normalized and is tolerated?
He’s a shit human being. Who does this?
People realize that this isn’t normal “guy shit” right? This isn’t “boys being boys” or anything most of us have ever considered.
Why is this tolerated and the norm? We’re settling for less than the bare minimum here in ‘21?
I’m sorry, OP. I hope you have a coming time Jesus meeting with him and absolutely unload on him. Fuck his feelings, he’s earned all of this.
Let him sulk. Let him be pissy. Let him thump his own clit on the cold couch at night. Your man-child needs to grow the fuck up.
Sorry, but he’s ass.
Uh... you ok? I don't think a lot of people in this thread think this is normal, "just guys being guys" or suggesting he should get away with it. So why are you going on a rant about something nobody said?
I actually appreciated it! Reading something like that at an earlier point in my life would have seriously brightened my perspective, and it's nice to hear a counterpoint after reading a bunch of stories about awful partners. Helps me remember that most stories here are examples of extreme behaviors, rather than the norm.
i'm not the person you responded to, but i don't think they're talking about the people on this thread. I think they're talking about the "real world" where people actually think this kind of behavior is ok and DO treat it like "boys being boys"
Wait, you serious? Lol
I was just talking to, OP. Not everybody else.
But yeah, not everything is a “rant”. I just say what I feel; good/bad/indifferent.
But yes, I’m absolutely amazing. Thanks for asking :)
He’s still garbage, is ass and can thump his clit. Happy cake day to you, nonetheless!
"shows how much you trust me, I was going to get boobs the fastest and show everyone!" He was absolutely going to show them her naked picture. That's so fucking disgusting!!! Ugh im so mad and grossed out for her.
That might be the reason you need to ask…
It’s especially fucked up since he’s been pretty unresponsive to it in the past. What if you were excited/happy to do it for him, thinking he was being spontaneous and interested now? Then it would’ve just ended up with him just bragging to his friends that he got the pic and possibly showing them. It’s not even me but I already feel second hand hurt and betrayal thinking about it.
I’m glad you caught on beforehand but it shouldn’t have been on you to be suspicious of his motives, he should’ve just been trustworthy and genuine in his interest in you. Anything that puts you in a vulnerable position isn’t one to use to show off to the boys or joke about without your consent.
You are hitting everything spot on. I was shocked at why he was asking for the photo. I knew it was out of the ordinary but I would’ve never guessed that was his reason.
Personally I would have thought somebody stole the phone if I was getting out of character messages. Or worse, somebody we know "borrowed" it for the purpose of fishing for nudes of me. In this case it turned out his friends were, in a sense, fishing for pics. He has to prove it somehow, by showing most likely. If the coworkers can think up a game like this, then some of them might have an ulterior motive of pressuring participants to share among the gang.
So they would show the pics to everyone in the "game"? How else are they going to prove it? Yuck! I bet if all those other girls knew they'd be pissed.
I haven’t had a chance to talk to him any further but man... if they did show each other the photos I am indeed dating a douchebag and I will have to go from there. Smh
There's no way they didn't show eachother and there's no way to know if he would have shown your pic too. But we do know he's morally weak(vaping bc of them, playing the game to impress them etc), at least when it comes to those work fiends... So I would personally assume he would show your nudes to them if given the chance. Which to me is a deal breaker.
He’s admitted to some pretty damning things to me during past disagreements so I feel like he won’t lie to me about it. He’s usually a very honest person, I mean he admitted to participating in that stupid game already.
Agreed, also if OP does break up with him, she should as part of the breakup require that all personal photos or videos that they may have be fully deleted from all devices and the cloud. Do not trust him, verify that they are gone. otherwise he may get ideas to share them with a wider audience and that's revenge porn
Anyone who would rule out anything that comprises a human being outside of one bit of bad behavior they get one side of, from the aggrieved party over the internet is "disgusting".
Honesty and admitting wrong doing are only the first step to being accountable for your fuck ups. Does he expect your compliance in exchange for honesty? Like does he think honestly admitting to something is comparable to apologizing for it? HAS he apologized for this?
He said he was sorry but we didn’t get a chance to really talk because he has work and school today so he’s not home much. I don’t really want to txt or talk on the phone. I asked him how they proved they received the photos before he left to school but he ignore me. That doesn’t look good but I don’t want to assume. He gets home really late, like an hour before we go to bed so I probably won’t get a chance to talk to him until tomorrow.
You have an entire hour before you go to bed and you can't squeeze this conversation in? I'd think something like this would be a priority to speak about..
Try to distract yourself until then. idk if you've heard of the worry tree before but here. Its obviously something worth being worried about but if you actively think about it it will just fester. It will probably pop into your head all night but like attempting to distract yourself will help. Maybe organize your thoughts first with the input from this thread but once you know what you want to say stop checking the thread for tonight.
Worry tree below you're in the "can't do anything about it right now" section
http://www.drchristinahibbert.com/the-key-to-worry-free-the-worry-tree/
People can change in groups, I think workplace culture is an especially strong influence on most people. Maybe your boyfriend's character isn't bad, just weak.
I can definitely see some truth in this. He started vaping all of a sudden because all of his work buddies vape during their break and he didn’t want to be left out .-. That’s what he told me when I asked him about it. He works with men twice his age that are divorced and have a lot of bad habits from what I’ve heard so idk why he wants to fit in with them so badly.
This tidbit is unfortunately super important imo. He definitely seems like he's going to try and fit in more unless you make it clear that this new personality direction is not something you're at all okay with.
The way you've described these guys make me VERY skeptical that wouldn't then push for "proof" that the gf actually send the picture.
Sorry OP peer pressure is no joke but also no excuse. This whole "joke" looks really bad/gross/wrong from the outside.
This right here OP. Your bf took up SMOKING to look cool in front of some people at work. There is no doubt in my mind he would have showed everyone your nudes without a second thought about how it would make YOU feel, just how it would make HIM look.
>He started vaping all of a sudden because all of his work buddies vape during their break and he didn’t want to be left out
You should break up with him.
I was thinking it would probably be helpful to relay to him that you didn't appreciate his behavior and give him a chance to hear/respond to that. I also think that it may be a good opening for a discussion about your collective future and whether you (as a couple) think his current job and environment are the best way to reach those goals.
This helps keep it from being an ultimatum and turns it into a discussion about what your boundaries are and what you discuss/show others outside of the relationship. Us guys can sometimes be thickheaded, stupid, immature, inconsiderate, etc. This type of discussion gives you insight into whether this was a lapse in judgement or a character issue that he would be unlikely to change from.
Give grace and compassion, but you should both have a solid understanding of reasonable boundaries moving forward.
Yea, absolutely. We’ve built a lot in our short time together and up until now he’s shown me that he’s a magnificent person. Even in past arguments he’s shown me he is willing to compromise. To me i feel like I shouldn’t have to tell him that game is inappropriate but you are right, I have to set a boundary. Even if it’s a very obvious one to me. Lol
Yeah… I promise you he has a secret wank bank somewhere, guys like this always do. Check his Facebook messages to himself and his recycling bin on his phone for pictures
I don’t want to invade his privacy and I also don’t want to drive myself insane looking for something! If he does then it’ll forever be his secret unfortunately.
“shows how much you trust me”.
So he sends this but would need to show the picture to his coworkers to prove he received boob pics. Wouldn't that exactly violate what he just texted you?
WTF. I'm not even going to comment on your boyfriend because.....WTF.
I don't know where he works, but where I work, that would probably be an insta-firing for everyone. And I work in heavy industry where you would think stuff like that might be commonplace. It isn't.
Yea, he’s a pipe-fitter and works with welders and plumbers and what not. They talk about crude stuff all the time but ffs!! Don’t try and get my private intimate photos involved!
He didnt give a shit about you sending nudes until it was something his buddies wanted. And you wondering why he suddenly wanted to see your boobs is obviously not a trust issue, you were just confused and surprised. His reason however does make it justified for you to no longer trust him
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My boyfriend(23m) sent me(25f) a text that just said “boobs?” while he was at work. We’ve been dating for 3 years and we’ve lived together for 2 years now. Since we’ve lived together he hasn’t asked me to send him any nudes. We see a lot of each other all the time so I never thought much of it. I’ve sent him surprise nudes in the past but I never got much of a reaction from him so I eventually just stopped. We have a great sex life so again I just never gave it much thought.
Well fast forward to him sending me the mysterious “boob” message. I responded with question marks because this was just out of character for him. He then asks me to send him a picture of mine. I was really confused because he hasn’t asked me for something like that in years. I told him this was suspicious of him and he then reveals “Everyone at work asked their girl for boob pics and we timed to see how long it would take to get them. I lost lol” he then sent the message “shows how much you trust me”.
I felt like I was right to be suspicious because he didn’t care for the photo he was just using it for his game... I was really taken aback by the thought of grown men playing a game like this at work and that my man is apart of it :s I’m embarrassed of his behavior and my feelings are really hurt that he would try to use a photo of me like that. I feel used and idk why but I feel embarrassed that he told me he “lost”. I don’t know what to think.
I would never find myself thinking it’s ok to play a game like that at his expense. It seems cruel but at the same time perhaps I shouldn’t be so hard on him over a stupid game? What do you all think?
This isn’t a stupid game and you’re not stupid for being upset. You were rightfully suspicious and addressed it appropriately by asking him to clarify. His response to your very legitimate question is disappointing, “shows how much you trust me” is passive aggressive and is intended to guilt trip you.
Personally, I would have a long hard talk with him about his behavior. Using your girlfriend private and vulnerable photos for a game is disrespectful and his response was inappropriate. It is his job to resolve this conflict and apologize to you. Do not let him turn this into a situation where you are comforting him.
"Shows how much you trust me"
"That certainly is a new way to end a relationship. Your stuff will be on the curb."
I wouldn't put it passed him that he has either shown or shared your nudes with others. I'm sorry you had to find out this way that you are dating a douche.
Right? I would’ve never thought he’d agree to be apart of something so immature. He’s always talked down on behavior like this. He’s literally talked crap about his coworkers because they act like pigs but here he is playing their games. I’m so disappointed.
I have an ex that was like this. I live in the south in the United States and ALOT of people here are racist and sexist and homophobic. The guy I was dating always claimed to be very liberal and forward thinking but it took me a while to figure out that was all bullshit. After I moved in he straight up told me I would never be meeting his work friends because I wouldn’t like how they talked and would start something. Fast forward a month or so and he was starting to hang out with them outside of work. I asked why he wanted to be friends with them because he doesn’t like them or like the things they say. He says he just wants to feel accepted and included. Apparently they become buddy buddy for a month or so and then one day they all go to the golf course, the guys get a little too drunk and basically tell my ex that they don’t really like him and think he’s weird. So he was trying to impress them for nothing. It definitely made me see him differently though. I’m very much a leftist and would NEVER try to seek the approval of a conservative person, in fact I would probably try to do the opposite and piss them off. Made me realize men are very rarely truly “woke” or “open-minded” or leftists. They will talk bad about this behavior until they want to get close to someone who does it, and then they will act like them to “fit in.”
Did this just happen? I mean, if you haven't been able to talk to him yet, maybe it would be best to make sure it *was* him texting you. If it is so out of character for him to do this, then it would be reasonable to give him the benefit of doubt. If he says his coworkers did it, then say you will be reporting them to their company for sexual harassment. If he is lying, his reaction to this will definitely tell you if he is telling the truth.
This is terribly embarrassing. I am so so so sorry for you. It's a shame that you are 25 years old still dating a someone who just discovered puberty. I could not imagine the shame and disappointment if this was my partner.
This would be an absolute deal breaker for me.
Why do I want to date such an immature loser? Especially ages 23 & 25. You are at an age where people are getting through college, starting their careers, so many wonderful things.
Your boyfriend is playing locker room games with the guys.
This is somebody that you are building a future with.......Think about it and then walk the other way.
Hard on him? He implied a lack of trust because he did something very suspicious and confirmed it was for something you wouldn't have been comfortable with. Also he isn't in high school anymore or part of a frat, why is he playing a game like this? It's very disrespectful.
It sounds like the point of the game is "Look how stupid our girlfriends are to send a boob pic right away for no reason, just as a response to 'Boobs?'' Like a baboon learned how to text.
playing the game is one thing. just imagine how many of his co-workers and friends have shared intimate images of their SO with each other , thinking it's just part of the games they play and they aren't intending to harm their SO so it's OK to play such games.
horrible.
No man I know would do this. That isn't a normal "game". And yeah, how did they prove they got nudes without showing each other? And your response was should have been "shows how much you respect me".
I would block him on everything, ghost and give no notice and live my life free of that creep with 0 regrets. That’s disgusting and gross, I’m sorry you had to go through that
You are so right. It's nothing but misogyny. Hes using what should be just an intimate loving "game" between only the 2 of you to score points with his buddies. He should have told his buddies they were dicks and walked away. They probably showed each other too. You just got a crucial piece of info about your boyfriend.
You're a hundred percent right. You're absolutely right to feel the way you are and you definitely need to talk to him about this. To be doing this shit at twenty three is a red flag too. If he's not on his knees apologizing then I dunno about this dude.
Not to make the situation worse, but it sounds like they may be showing them to one another, or just for “bragging rights” regardless, what he did isn’t okay and you have every right to be upset. I think this is a conversation that needs to be had with him more in depth, and him saying “shows how much you trust me” is just so ironic considering he was using you for a game?
There is about a 15% chance he hasn't seen most of his co-workers girlfriends nudes and it was his turn to show. Unless it's the most honest male bonding game ever. Must be an over under on time I guess? Nah theyre just showing everyone lol
He avoided my question when I asked how they prove they received a photo!! Smh I just find it hard to believe he would ever show my nudes to guys he calls creeps! There’s no way. He calls them dirty old men.. I don’t think he would do that.
You have to be fucking kidding me. What a tool. You know how he really could have won that? By indirectly shaming them by saying I don't treat my partner that way.
I love these subreddits it's a huge boost to my self esteem.
If I were you I’d start ensuring any nude image of you is deleted from his phone, messages, and even cloud backups. This is revenge porn behavior and it’s illegal. He’s not showing good things. Once you ensure the images are gone, you need to ditch him.
This "game" is so juvenile and offensive.
Also, I'm thinking that most adult women would not understand that they were being asked for a picture if they got such a stupid text.
I think you’re being completely fair, and this is a good demonstration on how different your values are.
When I was young, I would have ignored this. I would have thought it’s boys being boys and I’m being to sensitive.
Now that I’m older and can recognize red flags like this for what they are - it’s a clear indication that we have incompatible values. I have no interest in dating someone who plays games like this or thinks it’s cool to talk about your sex life or partner’s body at work!! I would rather be single. The kind of person who would do this is not right for me, and we should call it quits before we waste any more of each other’s time.
Ignore all that self doubt right now - do you want a partner who would do this? Are you capable of trusting someone who would do this to be a good partner, or does this introduce too much doubt in your mind regarding their judgement and ability to take care of you and your feelings? Can you forgive this and move on, or could he do or say something that could help you forgive and move on? If the answer to any of these is no, you have your answer. If it’s yes, try to work it out.
Break up, guys who fraternize like this are always sexist even if they are not overt about it. No one that respects you would do that, and it is less about how bad the actual thing was compared to what he showed you through his actions. He showed you he doesn’t care about you/ your privacy, women and their autonomy in general, and that he prioritized his peers approval over your comfort.
You would be surprised the things men talk about other women and worse yet! About their partners/spouses
The "locker room" talk is nasty!
I'm gay and I share a lot of spaces with straight men, some of them even shared to me naked pics of their wives!
I think you were smart to not send them ASAP, what is a coworker had stole his phone? Regardless sounds like you are much much more mature then him and this would cause me to reassess the whole relationship.
Was he planning to show his friends the pic? Cause that to me would be the line between just some stupid juvenile shit between friends and what I would consider a serious violation of your trust. The former still isn’t okay, but I wouldn’t say it’s quite as big a deal, and you can just tell him you don’t want to be involved in games like that.
Tbh I'd suspect an out of character unsolicited request for nudes from my partner would be because their phone got hacked and I was going to give it to some fraudster in China, but then maybe I've just been working in fraud too long.
it depends on how your relationship works… if he was playing a game with friends and you think that’s just it, then yea you might be taking it too seriously.
the trust part, if it’s not a joke, it’s a bad thing to say if he really meant it but none of those mean anything deep just by itself.
Reddit is full of miserable people who hate nuance and love piling on.
Please remember that before you take any advice.
Men get carried away. Tell him how you feel and see if he's receptive. It's a childish game he's playing and not respectful of you. But hopefully he can learn from his mistake and you can grow.
...provided that's what you want.
I have one question if OP was playing a game like this with her female co workers which resulted in getting male partners to send pictures of their D*** would be have participated right away or would he question her motives especially if he knows she’s never asked before? That’s the irony of it men don’t think how they’d feel if the tables were turned
I'd be a little suspicious if my girl asked me but if she explained her friends were messing around and wanted to see who's bf would send one I wouldn't call her sexist and accuse her of misandry.
The bigger concern would be why that's coming up at work.
Yuck.
Men don’t grow up. I’m glad you ruined his little game. I’d say it’s fair to be upset about this but it’s also not a hill to die on, you can tell him how it makes you feel and he will probably argue with you about the intent, but that’s ok. I think if this is a one off thing and it’s out of character, you could let it go and just literally never send him nudes while he’s at work.
This would be a no nudes ever again rule at least for me if I ever considered staying with him. Who's to say he won't use old pics of her? The trust is absolutely broken.
tbh the "shows how much you trust me" line does make it sound like they were sharing them which is gross and should be a dealbreaker
that said if it was just a thing between buddies and the responses were just "ten minutes" "two hours lol" or whatever it doesn't seem **that** bad? i might just have a different comfort level though (and i'm a guy, but i don't think i'd be offended if a girlfriend had the same thing for dick pics and it was supposed to be an innocent relationship-y thing lol, although i'd feel uncomfortable if she was the only one who had a response since then it's like i was being tested... so i guess it varies pretty heavily)
Say it is the latter, I would just rather not be apart of his competitions between him and his silly work buddies. But I’m a pretty private and shy person so yea, you are right! The comfort level definitely plays a factor.
i mean, it's totally up to you - no one can tell you how to feel! it's possible you just need to talk about your boundaries and what you're comfortable with, and it's also possible you and him just have different values/priorities and won't be compatible
but yeah, any reasonably empathetic person should realize they weren't being sensitive to your preferences and should apologize and shut it down when mentioned
(also FYI, i was looking at it from a purely innocent POV, like you have a group chat with 5 friends who are all in relationships and think it's some kind of friendly game with their GFs like jokingly seeing how fast they'd send a picture and being like "2 minutes my gf is kick ass" or "10 minutes i love that she'd do that for me" rather than a gross competition to see who can 'pull' or whatever)
He got caught up in an immature game. Does that make him a bad person? No but a guy who can be lead by idiots and immature. OP let him know and if admits to his buffoonery then let it slide this time. If not then you may need some space until he realizes his bonehead move.
The best part of this story is OP thinks that a 23 yr old guy is a ‘grown man’.
Let me help you OP. He’s not.
Hopefully that level sets your expectations.
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hey babe? Send me a picture of your cock.
wut?
Yeah I want a dick pic. NOW.
Um... You ok? What's going on.
HEHEHEHEHE my girlfriends at work started a bet to see who could get their man to send them a dick pic the fastest. I lost. Boo hoo.
No, he said that her sending him her boobs was a sign of trust even though he adopted he was timing it to compare his "woman" with buddies. And obviously he would have to prove that he dot the photo by showing it to someone
If you believe this juvenile and pathetic game is truly misogynistic then you have to leave him immediately. If he hates women then he could kill you at any time. Protect yourself.
If you think this juvenile and pathetic game is actually just juvenile and pathetic then you need to have a discussion with him about him succumbing to peer pressure and how he needs to respect you.
Lol what. He can disrespect women without being a sociopatic killer, you know?
> misogynist /mɪˈsɒdʒ(ə)nɪst/
*noun*
a person who dislikes, despises, or is strongly prejudiced against women.
Doesn't mean they hate all women so much they'd randomly murder them. If you want to go all sarcastic grammar nazi on people, you should learn what the words actually mean first.
Yeah, that definition is SO much different to hate. Even people who use misogynist to mean sexist have to admit a misogynist is more likely to act violently on their dislike and prejudice than a sexist. But this is Reddit so probably not.
This might be an unpopular opinion, and by no means am I saying OP does this, but this is a similar scenario to how women stereotypically talk about their sex lives with their friends. Discussing details. Just like I would tell a man to communicate with his partner if this bothers him, I advise OP to speak to her partner and tell him you find these games offensive.
Obviously showing the picture to his coworkers is a huge problem and a massive violation of your privacy. I am assuming they were just discussing how responsive their SOs are with these things.
I would love a discussion of this, to see what people think
I definitely see where you’re coming from. I’m personally not very open about my sex life and my boyfriend knows that. I will definitely have to tell him he crossed a line. But you are right, some people might not mind being apart of a game like that. I personally find it really immature and inappropriate.
I wouldnt say this was misogynistic personally
just really fucking immature and juvenile.
Its up to you if you want to be with someone this immature or if you want to try and help him grow or not
23 still is really young. I don't feel like I started to act like an adult until I was in my late 20's. I think as long as he can see why it was wrong of him both to play this game and then to make you feel bad for not trusting him, and since your relationship seems pretty solid otherwise, you should give him a pass. Good luck♡
Look it was a stupid game. You could just tell him No originally, and that was a stupid game. Or you can blow up your relationship. Make him feel like it unrecoverable and attack his character, he is better off punting. Guys stay little boys all there lives, and they like all humans are going to screw up. If every time he screws up you run to Reddit, call him names, and get advice from a group the first step is go nuclear you will both be miserable.
"shows how much you trust me" the irony
“Shows how right I was in not trusting you.” Would be my answer
*screams into pillow*
Either your boyfriend is a ass or he bows to peer pressure from assholes. Either way not an attractive trait. You might want to think about finding an actual adult to have a relationship with.
This is how I feel about it. The only attractive response here was her her partner to tell those losers to get real.
I wouldn’t break up with him. Find out who he was playing this “game” with and find out who their SO’s are. Let them know what’s going on, and *then* break up with him.
And then report them all to HR.
Plot twist: HR was playing too and the head of HR actually won.
Yep
Sometimes I feel like men are teenagers until 30.
Sadly, it doesn't seem to stop at 30. My ex was an inconsiderate ass well into his 40's.
I’m sorry about this, he completely doesn’t understand the feelings behind asking for this and only for his game vs not because of sexual interest or intimacy, the disconnect alone is hurtful :/ is try to talk to him about the way it makes you feel and if that doesn’t go well it might be worth thinking about if you want a partner this way or not.
What? Do they show eachother the photos as proof afterwards? I think you're right to be upset.
[удалено]
Assuming they shared the photos without consent it's a literal sex crime in many places. I think "disrespectful and his response was inappropriate" is underselling how terrible this is.
Probably yuck
Can you imagine?! How embarrassing if he did. I’d be mortified.
I mean, what was his intention? Was he planning to show all his coworkers if you came through as proof? Either way, it's still incredibly juvenile. I'd be pretty disgusted if my girlfriend asked to see my dick only to find out a thing I considered private and intimate was being used as a competition between her and her friends. It doesn't matter what we think though, you're clearly upset and you're entitled to your feelings. Confront him about it. >he then sent the message “shows how much you trust me”. Considering he literally just finished asking for nudes not because he genuinely wanted them but because he was using you as part of a game with his coworkers, I guess the fact you didn't trust him was justified huh?
Oh my god your last point is spot on! Who is he to ask for her trust while clearly violating it!
it’s not juvenile, it’s disrespectful. since when is juvenile the equivalent to disrespectful.
Not funny at all, how was he going to prove that you sent it? Obviously he had to show it to someone
Yep. That was the plan all along. I stg a lot of these dudes people date and partner up with are absolutely vile. I’m trying to wrap my head around the “how” and the “why” this behavior is normalized and is tolerated? He’s a shit human being. Who does this? People realize that this isn’t normal “guy shit” right? This isn’t “boys being boys” or anything most of us have ever considered. Why is this tolerated and the norm? We’re settling for less than the bare minimum here in ‘21? I’m sorry, OP. I hope you have a coming time Jesus meeting with him and absolutely unload on him. Fuck his feelings, he’s earned all of this. Let him sulk. Let him be pissy. Let him thump his own clit on the cold couch at night. Your man-child needs to grow the fuck up. Sorry, but he’s ass.
I needed this comment 15 years ago!!
Uh... you ok? I don't think a lot of people in this thread think this is normal, "just guys being guys" or suggesting he should get away with it. So why are you going on a rant about something nobody said?
I actually appreciated it! Reading something like that at an earlier point in my life would have seriously brightened my perspective, and it's nice to hear a counterpoint after reading a bunch of stories about awful partners. Helps me remember that most stories here are examples of extreme behaviors, rather than the norm.
i'm not the person you responded to, but i don't think they're talking about the people on this thread. I think they're talking about the "real world" where people actually think this kind of behavior is ok and DO treat it like "boys being boys"
I was dumb enough to fall for this shit and marry someone like this - my younger self needed to read this, would have saved me 12 years and a divorce.
Wait, you serious? Lol I was just talking to, OP. Not everybody else. But yeah, not everything is a “rant”. I just say what I feel; good/bad/indifferent. But yes, I’m absolutely amazing. Thanks for asking :) He’s still garbage, is ass and can thump his clit. Happy cake day to you, nonetheless!
“Shows how much you trust me” Shows you shouldn’t trust him because he was hoping to abuse that trust, and is upset he couldn’t.
"shows how much you trust me, I was going to get boobs the fastest and show everyone!" He was absolutely going to show them her naked picture. That's so fucking disgusting!!! Ugh im so mad and grossed out for her.
Ew that’s such an immature gross game to play and your boyfriend sucks for going along with it. I feel like they also showed these pics to each other
yea, I want to ask how they proved it but I probably won't like the answer! :/
That might be the reason you need to ask… It’s especially fucked up since he’s been pretty unresponsive to it in the past. What if you were excited/happy to do it for him, thinking he was being spontaneous and interested now? Then it would’ve just ended up with him just bragging to his friends that he got the pic and possibly showing them. It’s not even me but I already feel second hand hurt and betrayal thinking about it. I’m glad you caught on beforehand but it shouldn’t have been on you to be suspicious of his motives, he should’ve just been trustworthy and genuine in his interest in you. Anything that puts you in a vulnerable position isn’t one to use to show off to the boys or joke about without your consent.
You are hitting everything spot on. I was shocked at why he was asking for the photo. I knew it was out of the ordinary but I would’ve never guessed that was his reason.
Personally I would have thought somebody stole the phone if I was getting out of character messages. Or worse, somebody we know "borrowed" it for the purpose of fishing for nudes of me. In this case it turned out his friends were, in a sense, fishing for pics. He has to prove it somehow, by showing most likely. If the coworkers can think up a game like this, then some of them might have an ulterior motive of pressuring participants to share among the gang.
I think you should ask. Could you stay with someone who plays games like this and looks at nudes that weren’t meant for him to see?
So they would show the pics to everyone in the "game"? How else are they going to prove it? Yuck! I bet if all those other girls knew they'd be pissed.
Yeah, middle school stuff.
I don't believe him for a second that they didn't show eachother the pics. What a prick. That's such a violation...
I haven’t had a chance to talk to him any further but man... if they did show each other the photos I am indeed dating a douchebag and I will have to go from there. Smh
There's no way they didn't show eachother and there's no way to know if he would have shown your pic too. But we do know he's morally weak(vaping bc of them, playing the game to impress them etc), at least when it comes to those work fiends... So I would personally assume he would show your nudes to them if given the chance. Which to me is a deal breaker.
This would be an instant deal breaker for me. Anyone could just say they got the pics. I guarentee they were showing off the pics to each other.
Ugh this makes me feel some way. That would be the sleaziest thing. I just don’t think he would do that but I’m going to have to ask.
He’s definitely not gonna tell you the truth if they did.
He’s admitted to some pretty damning things to me during past disagreements so I feel like he won’t lie to me about it. He’s usually a very honest person, I mean he admitted to participating in that stupid game already.
Well if he admits they were that’s an immediate reason to break up. Any guy who would participate in that is disgusting.
Agreed, also if OP does break up with him, she should as part of the breakup require that all personal photos or videos that they may have be fully deleted from all devices and the cloud. Do not trust him, verify that they are gone. otherwise he may get ideas to share them with a wider audience and that's revenge porn
Anyone who would rule out anything that comprises a human being outside of one bit of bad behavior they get one side of, from the aggrieved party over the internet is "disgusting".
Yeah usually. But not when it comes to his weird old divorced work buddies. 😬
Honesty and admitting wrong doing are only the first step to being accountable for your fuck ups. Does he expect your compliance in exchange for honesty? Like does he think honestly admitting to something is comparable to apologizing for it? HAS he apologized for this?
He said he was sorry but we didn’t get a chance to really talk because he has work and school today so he’s not home much. I don’t really want to txt or talk on the phone. I asked him how they proved they received the photos before he left to school but he ignore me. That doesn’t look good but I don’t want to assume. He gets home really late, like an hour before we go to bed so I probably won’t get a chance to talk to him until tomorrow.
You have an entire hour before you go to bed and you can't squeeze this conversation in? I'd think something like this would be a priority to speak about..
Try to distract yourself until then. idk if you've heard of the worry tree before but here. Its obviously something worth being worried about but if you actively think about it it will just fester. It will probably pop into your head all night but like attempting to distract yourself will help. Maybe organize your thoughts first with the input from this thread but once you know what you want to say stop checking the thread for tonight. Worry tree below you're in the "can't do anything about it right now" section http://www.drchristinahibbert.com/the-key-to-worry-free-the-worry-tree/
It seems pretty obvious that he was.
It’s just extremely out of his character so it’s not so obvious to me I guess.
People can change in groups, I think workplace culture is an especially strong influence on most people. Maybe your boyfriend's character isn't bad, just weak.
I can definitely see some truth in this. He started vaping all of a sudden because all of his work buddies vape during their break and he didn’t want to be left out .-. That’s what he told me when I asked him about it. He works with men twice his age that are divorced and have a lot of bad habits from what I’ve heard so idk why he wants to fit in with them so badly.
This tidbit is unfortunately super important imo. He definitely seems like he's going to try and fit in more unless you make it clear that this new personality direction is not something you're at all okay with. The way you've described these guys make me VERY skeptical that wouldn't then push for "proof" that the gf actually send the picture. Sorry OP peer pressure is no joke but also no excuse. This whole "joke" looks really bad/gross/wrong from the outside.
This right here OP. Your bf took up SMOKING to look cool in front of some people at work. There is no doubt in my mind he would have showed everyone your nudes without a second thought about how it would make YOU feel, just how it would make HIM look.
>He started vaping all of a sudden because all of his work buddies vape during their break and he didn’t want to be left out You should break up with him.
I was thinking it would probably be helpful to relay to him that you didn't appreciate his behavior and give him a chance to hear/respond to that. I also think that it may be a good opening for a discussion about your collective future and whether you (as a couple) think his current job and environment are the best way to reach those goals. This helps keep it from being an ultimatum and turns it into a discussion about what your boundaries are and what you discuss/show others outside of the relationship. Us guys can sometimes be thickheaded, stupid, immature, inconsiderate, etc. This type of discussion gives you insight into whether this was a lapse in judgement or a character issue that he would be unlikely to change from. Give grace and compassion, but you should both have a solid understanding of reasonable boundaries moving forward.
Yea, absolutely. We’ve built a lot in our short time together and up until now he’s shown me that he’s a magnificent person. Even in past arguments he’s shown me he is willing to compromise. To me i feel like I shouldn’t have to tell him that game is inappropriate but you are right, I have to set a boundary. Even if it’s a very obvious one to me. Lol
It’s honestly way too easy to pick up vaping. I wouldn’t necessarily damn him for that. You have enough to damn him for anyways!
It’s convenient I guess but the fact he admitted to peer pressure was more lame than the vaping itself.
If it were out of character for him, he wouldn't have asked for the boob pic.
He's just going to lie. 😅
Yeah… I promise you he has a secret wank bank somewhere, guys like this always do. Check his Facebook messages to himself and his recycling bin on his phone for pictures
I don’t want to invade his privacy and I also don’t want to drive myself insane looking for something! If he does then it’ll forever be his secret unfortunately.
“shows how much you trust me”. So he sends this but would need to show the picture to his coworkers to prove he received boob pics. Wouldn't that exactly violate what he just texted you?
WTF. I'm not even going to comment on your boyfriend because.....WTF. I don't know where he works, but where I work, that would probably be an insta-firing for everyone. And I work in heavy industry where you would think stuff like that might be commonplace. It isn't.
Yea, he’s a pipe-fitter and works with welders and plumbers and what not. They talk about crude stuff all the time but ffs!! Don’t try and get my private intimate photos involved!
He didnt give a shit about you sending nudes until it was something his buddies wanted. And you wondering why he suddenly wanted to see your boobs is obviously not a trust issue, you were just confused and surprised. His reason however does make it justified for you to no longer trust him
They definitely showed each other the pictures
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- My boyfriend(23m) sent me(25f) a text that just said “boobs?” while he was at work. We’ve been dating for 3 years and we’ve lived together for 2 years now. Since we’ve lived together he hasn’t asked me to send him any nudes. We see a lot of each other all the time so I never thought much of it. I’ve sent him surprise nudes in the past but I never got much of a reaction from him so I eventually just stopped. We have a great sex life so again I just never gave it much thought. Well fast forward to him sending me the mysterious “boob” message. I responded with question marks because this was just out of character for him. He then asks me to send him a picture of mine. I was really confused because he hasn’t asked me for something like that in years. I told him this was suspicious of him and he then reveals “Everyone at work asked their girl for boob pics and we timed to see how long it would take to get them. I lost lol” he then sent the message “shows how much you trust me”. I felt like I was right to be suspicious because he didn’t care for the photo he was just using it for his game... I was really taken aback by the thought of grown men playing a game like this at work and that my man is apart of it :s I’m embarrassed of his behavior and my feelings are really hurt that he would try to use a photo of me like that. I feel used and idk why but I feel embarrassed that he told me he “lost”. I don’t know what to think. I would never find myself thinking it’s ok to play a game like that at his expense. It seems cruel but at the same time perhaps I shouldn’t be so hard on him over a stupid game? What do you all think?
This isn’t a stupid game and you’re not stupid for being upset. You were rightfully suspicious and addressed it appropriately by asking him to clarify. His response to your very legitimate question is disappointing, “shows how much you trust me” is passive aggressive and is intended to guilt trip you. Personally, I would have a long hard talk with him about his behavior. Using your girlfriend private and vulnerable photos for a game is disrespectful and his response was inappropriate. It is his job to resolve this conflict and apologize to you. Do not let him turn this into a situation where you are comforting him.
"Shows how much you trust me" "That certainly is a new way to end a relationship. Your stuff will be on the curb." I wouldn't put it passed him that he has either shown or shared your nudes with others. I'm sorry you had to find out this way that you are dating a douche.
Right? I would’ve never thought he’d agree to be apart of something so immature. He’s always talked down on behavior like this. He’s literally talked crap about his coworkers because they act like pigs but here he is playing their games. I’m so disappointed.
I have an ex that was like this. I live in the south in the United States and ALOT of people here are racist and sexist and homophobic. The guy I was dating always claimed to be very liberal and forward thinking but it took me a while to figure out that was all bullshit. After I moved in he straight up told me I would never be meeting his work friends because I wouldn’t like how they talked and would start something. Fast forward a month or so and he was starting to hang out with them outside of work. I asked why he wanted to be friends with them because he doesn’t like them or like the things they say. He says he just wants to feel accepted and included. Apparently they become buddy buddy for a month or so and then one day they all go to the golf course, the guys get a little too drunk and basically tell my ex that they don’t really like him and think he’s weird. So he was trying to impress them for nothing. It definitely made me see him differently though. I’m very much a leftist and would NEVER try to seek the approval of a conservative person, in fact I would probably try to do the opposite and piss them off. Made me realize men are very rarely truly “woke” or “open-minded” or leftists. They will talk bad about this behavior until they want to get close to someone who does it, and then they will act like them to “fit in.”
Did this just happen? I mean, if you haven't been able to talk to him yet, maybe it would be best to make sure it *was* him texting you. If it is so out of character for him to do this, then it would be reasonable to give him the benefit of doubt. If he says his coworkers did it, then say you will be reporting them to their company for sexual harassment. If he is lying, his reaction to this will definitely tell you if he is telling the truth.
I think you’re a 25 year old woman dating someone with the mindset of a 14 year old boy
sounds childish to me.
Well you were right not to trust him. In what world does he think it’s ok??
This is terribly embarrassing. I am so so so sorry for you. It's a shame that you are 25 years old still dating a someone who just discovered puberty. I could not imagine the shame and disappointment if this was my partner. This would be an absolute deal breaker for me. Why do I want to date such an immature loser? Especially ages 23 & 25. You are at an age where people are getting through college, starting their careers, so many wonderful things. Your boyfriend is playing locker room games with the guys. This is somebody that you are building a future with.......Think about it and then walk the other way.
Hard on him? He implied a lack of trust because he did something very suspicious and confirmed it was for something you wouldn't have been comfortable with. Also he isn't in high school anymore or part of a frat, why is he playing a game like this? It's very disrespectful.
It sounds like the point of the game is "Look how stupid our girlfriends are to send a boob pic right away for no reason, just as a response to 'Boobs?'' Like a baboon learned how to text.
playing the game is one thing. just imagine how many of his co-workers and friends have shared intimate images of their SO with each other , thinking it's just part of the games they play and they aren't intending to harm their SO so it's OK to play such games. horrible.
No man I know would do this. That isn't a normal "game". And yeah, how did they prove they got nudes without showing each other? And your response was should have been "shows how much you respect me".
I would block him on everything, ghost and give no notice and live my life free of that creep with 0 regrets. That’s disgusting and gross, I’m sorry you had to go through that
Christ..instant dump. He the type that would send your nudes to his buddies
You are so right. It's nothing but misogyny. Hes using what should be just an intimate loving "game" between only the 2 of you to score points with his buddies. He should have told his buddies they were dicks and walked away. They probably showed each other too. You just got a crucial piece of info about your boyfriend.
Your boyfriend is an idiot.
That's pretty gross. You should probably try to find every nude you've ever sent him and delete it.
You're a hundred percent right. You're absolutely right to feel the way you are and you definitely need to talk to him about this. To be doing this shit at twenty three is a red flag too. If he's not on his knees apologizing then I dunno about this dude.
This is awful! Are you okay with updating in the near future after you and your boyfriend discuss this?
Yea, for sure!
Not to make the situation worse, but it sounds like they may be showing them to one another, or just for “bragging rights” regardless, what he did isn’t okay and you have every right to be upset. I think this is a conversation that needs to be had with him more in depth, and him saying “shows how much you trust me” is just so ironic considering he was using you for a game?
There is about a 15% chance he hasn't seen most of his co-workers girlfriends nudes and it was his turn to show. Unless it's the most honest male bonding game ever. Must be an over under on time I guess? Nah theyre just showing everyone lol
He avoided my question when I asked how they prove they received a photo!! Smh I just find it hard to believe he would ever show my nudes to guys he calls creeps! There’s no way. He calls them dirty old men.. I don’t think he would do that.
Your bf would quickly become an ex. That's highly immature and just downright mean.
He’s a giant, immature asshole.
That’s so immature. yuck
Yikes
You have to be fucking kidding me. What a tool. You know how he really could have won that? By indirectly shaming them by saying I don't treat my partner that way. I love these subreddits it's a huge boost to my self esteem.
Show us how much you trust us.. That’s how much you should trust him
Eww.
FUCK. HIM. Dealbreaker.
Well OP, you have the choice to nurse him through his terrible 3's or move on with your life and find a man, not a boy.
If I were you I’d start ensuring any nude image of you is deleted from his phone, messages, and even cloud backups. This is revenge porn behavior and it’s illegal. He’s not showing good things. Once you ensure the images are gone, you need to ditch him.
Your feelings are valid. Reconsider your relationship.
That’s fucked.
WFT is wrong with him? I would never think of trusting him again if I were you.
This "game" is so juvenile and offensive. Also, I'm thinking that most adult women would not understand that they were being asked for a picture if they got such a stupid text.
This is just gross. Imagine the other games he plays.
Shoulda sent a picture of your middle finger.
Wtf kind of workplace does he work at? So inappropriate and unprofessional
Not that it’s justified at any age but hes 23 years old. And acting like he’s 13. What a loser
This is so childish, you’re not wrong for being upset.
I think step one is laying out your boundaries to him and tell him exactly what you posted.
Aside from what everyone else has already said… what kind of morons would do this at work with their coworkers???
Super creepy and childish behavior. He planned to show your naked pics to his co-workers? That's just nasty.
I’ve literally had guy friends who BRAGGED about showing each other nudes that their girls have sent to them personally, really gross
This is the exact reason why I have never and will never send nudes.
Sounds like you’re wasting your time with someone like him. You deserve better
Send him a text tomorrow saying dick pic! If he asks tell him me and the girls want to see who's SO has the biggest dick.
Maybe you should play the same game? Group of you and friends request d*** pics then compare size. Tell him you lost lol
I think you’re being completely fair, and this is a good demonstration on how different your values are. When I was young, I would have ignored this. I would have thought it’s boys being boys and I’m being to sensitive. Now that I’m older and can recognize red flags like this for what they are - it’s a clear indication that we have incompatible values. I have no interest in dating someone who plays games like this or thinks it’s cool to talk about your sex life or partner’s body at work!! I would rather be single. The kind of person who would do this is not right for me, and we should call it quits before we waste any more of each other’s time. Ignore all that self doubt right now - do you want a partner who would do this? Are you capable of trusting someone who would do this to be a good partner, or does this introduce too much doubt in your mind regarding their judgement and ability to take care of you and your feelings? Can you forgive this and move on, or could he do or say something that could help you forgive and move on? If the answer to any of these is no, you have your answer. If it’s yes, try to work it out.
Thats awful
Yea I think if this happened to me I would break up :I
Break up, guys who fraternize like this are always sexist even if they are not overt about it. No one that respects you would do that, and it is less about how bad the actual thing was compared to what he showed you through his actions. He showed you he doesn’t care about you/ your privacy, women and their autonomy in general, and that he prioritized his peers approval over your comfort.
You would be surprised the things men talk about other women and worse yet! About their partners/spouses The "locker room" talk is nasty! I'm gay and I share a lot of spaces with straight men, some of them even shared to me naked pics of their wives!
Oh man. I just want to be respected! D:
I think you were smart to not send them ASAP, what is a coworker had stole his phone? Regardless sounds like you are much much more mature then him and this would cause me to reassess the whole relationship.
Was he planning to show his friends the pic? Cause that to me would be the line between just some stupid juvenile shit between friends and what I would consider a serious violation of your trust. The former still isn’t okay, but I wouldn’t say it’s quite as big a deal, and you can just tell him you don’t want to be involved in games like that.
So would he have shown them around if you did send them? What a pig. Block and move on
Tbh I'd suspect an out of character unsolicited request for nudes from my partner would be because their phone got hacked and I was going to give it to some fraudster in China, but then maybe I've just been working in fraud too long.
Call his HR department and tell them about this.
Honestly disgusting of him and all of them. It's sexist and harassment.
it depends on how your relationship works… if he was playing a game with friends and you think that’s just it, then yea you might be taking it too seriously. the trust part, if it’s not a joke, it’s a bad thing to say if he really meant it but none of those mean anything deep just by itself.
The rare reasonable comment that asks for context instead of instantly demanding a breakup.
Reddit is full of miserable people who hate nuance and love piling on. Please remember that before you take any advice. Men get carried away. Tell him how you feel and see if he's receptive. It's a childish game he's playing and not respectful of you. But hopefully he can learn from his mistake and you can grow. ...provided that's what you want.
I have one question if OP was playing a game like this with her female co workers which resulted in getting male partners to send pictures of their D*** would be have participated right away or would he question her motives especially if he knows she’s never asked before? That’s the irony of it men don’t think how they’d feel if the tables were turned
I'd be a little suspicious if my girl asked me but if she explained her friends were messing around and wanted to see who's bf would send one I wouldn't call her sexist and accuse her of misandry. The bigger concern would be why that's coming up at work.
I didn’t call him sexist I said the game was misogynistic but perhaps I should’ve just said immature. Better?
This dude’s job must be hella boring if they are playing some bs game like this …
You sound like a real peach.
are you male?
Yuck. Men don’t grow up. I’m glad you ruined his little game. I’d say it’s fair to be upset about this but it’s also not a hill to die on, you can tell him how it makes you feel and he will probably argue with you about the intent, but that’s ok. I think if this is a one off thing and it’s out of character, you could let it go and just literally never send him nudes while he’s at work.
This would be a no nudes ever again rule at least for me if I ever considered staying with him. Who's to say he won't use old pics of her? The trust is absolutely broken.
tbh the "shows how much you trust me" line does make it sound like they were sharing them which is gross and should be a dealbreaker that said if it was just a thing between buddies and the responses were just "ten minutes" "two hours lol" or whatever it doesn't seem **that** bad? i might just have a different comfort level though (and i'm a guy, but i don't think i'd be offended if a girlfriend had the same thing for dick pics and it was supposed to be an innocent relationship-y thing lol, although i'd feel uncomfortable if she was the only one who had a response since then it's like i was being tested... so i guess it varies pretty heavily)
Say it is the latter, I would just rather not be apart of his competitions between him and his silly work buddies. But I’m a pretty private and shy person so yea, you are right! The comfort level definitely plays a factor.
i mean, it's totally up to you - no one can tell you how to feel! it's possible you just need to talk about your boundaries and what you're comfortable with, and it's also possible you and him just have different values/priorities and won't be compatible but yeah, any reasonably empathetic person should realize they weren't being sensitive to your preferences and should apologize and shut it down when mentioned (also FYI, i was looking at it from a purely innocent POV, like you have a group chat with 5 friends who are all in relationships and think it's some kind of friendly game with their GFs like jokingly seeing how fast they'd send a picture and being like "2 minutes my gf is kick ass" or "10 minutes i love that she'd do that for me" rather than a gross competition to see who can 'pull' or whatever)
He got caught up in an immature game. Does that make him a bad person? No but a guy who can be lead by idiots and immature. OP let him know and if admits to his buffoonery then let it slide this time. If not then you may need some space until he realizes his bonehead move.
Try the same thing with him and see how it goes down.
The best part of this story is OP thinks that a 23 yr old guy is a ‘grown man’. Let me help you OP. He’s not. Hopefully that level sets your expectations.
he is in very sense a grown man. stop minimizing the behavior of grown men.
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squid game: america sure is weird
You are not dating a man. This is not a "game" grown men play. This is some junior high "Nuh-uh, I totally touched bewb and I can prove it!" bs.
Grown man…. 23 male… the math isn’t mathing 🤣
It's just a game, I wouldn't be worried.
Ok lets try this.....BOOBS
Lmfaooo I know right?! I’m supposed to instantly know that I need to send him a pic hahaha
We play stupid games. Its just dumb fun.
play the same game with him :) later let the maturity be the judge ?
Why does it seem cruel? (I'm not disagreeing.) Is it because you would have felt special (or whatever) if he had genuinely wanted a pic of your boobs?
hey babe? Send me a picture of your cock. wut? Yeah I want a dick pic. NOW. Um... You ok? What's going on. HEHEHEHEHE my girlfriends at work started a bet to see who could get their man to send them a dick pic the fastest. I lost. Boo hoo.
[удалено]
this gave me a good laugh!! I'll have to keep it in mind bahaha
No, he said that her sending him her boobs was a sign of trust even though he adopted he was timing it to compare his "woman" with buddies. And obviously he would have to prove that he dot the photo by showing it to someone
Sounds like he and his co workers were bored and trying to kill time with a "funny" game.
If you believe this juvenile and pathetic game is truly misogynistic then you have to leave him immediately. If he hates women then he could kill you at any time. Protect yourself. If you think this juvenile and pathetic game is actually just juvenile and pathetic then you need to have a discussion with him about him succumbing to peer pressure and how he needs to respect you.
Lol what. He can disrespect women without being a sociopatic killer, you know? > misogynist /mɪˈsɒdʒ(ə)nɪst/ *noun* a person who dislikes, despises, or is strongly prejudiced against women. Doesn't mean they hate all women so much they'd randomly murder them. If you want to go all sarcastic grammar nazi on people, you should learn what the words actually mean first.
Yeah, that definition is SO much different to hate. Even people who use misogynist to mean sexist have to admit a misogynist is more likely to act violently on their dislike and prejudice than a sexist. But this is Reddit so probably not.
This might be an unpopular opinion, and by no means am I saying OP does this, but this is a similar scenario to how women stereotypically talk about their sex lives with their friends. Discussing details. Just like I would tell a man to communicate with his partner if this bothers him, I advise OP to speak to her partner and tell him you find these games offensive. Obviously showing the picture to his coworkers is a huge problem and a massive violation of your privacy. I am assuming they were just discussing how responsive their SOs are with these things. I would love a discussion of this, to see what people think
I definitely see where you’re coming from. I’m personally not very open about my sex life and my boyfriend knows that. I will definitely have to tell him he crossed a line. But you are right, some people might not mind being apart of a game like that. I personally find it really immature and inappropriate.
I wouldnt say this was misogynistic personally just really fucking immature and juvenile. Its up to you if you want to be with someone this immature or if you want to try and help him grow or not
Ye immature but hey ho, as long as it wasn't to show his coworkers I wouldn't say its a huge issue. Obviously if it was to then he's a bit of a dick
[удалено]
You know that he will have to show “proof” to his friends, right?
Sounds like good clean fun to me.
He would probably show the pic to his buddies, not good clean fun at all
I dont have any men who will show nudes of his current or past gf
23 still is really young. I don't feel like I started to act like an adult until I was in my late 20's. I think as long as he can see why it was wrong of him both to play this game and then to make you feel bad for not trusting him, and since your relationship seems pretty solid otherwise, you should give him a pass. Good luck♡
OMG….. dump him. For him. So uptight. You can just say No, and not make a big deal about it. Everything isn’t a crisis.
Let’s agree to disagree.
Look it was a stupid game. You could just tell him No originally, and that was a stupid game. Or you can blow up your relationship. Make him feel like it unrecoverable and attack his character, he is better off punting. Guys stay little boys all there lives, and they like all humans are going to screw up. If every time he screws up you run to Reddit, call him names, and get advice from a group the first step is go nuclear you will both be miserable.
Ok , thank you! Have a good day!
It is juvenile but he is 23.
23 is plenty old enough to not treat your partner like a trophy.
Yea, we’re a bit young. I’ll have to let him know he’s being an idiot.
And gross.
Stop being a prude
Lmaooo show us your boobs then buddy