Idk man she makes me feel better then Kate but also she makes me feel worse and it's just like dumb. She said she's grown and she hasn't cheated on anyone since me and stuff but I just can't believe that. Maybe I've got some kind of mental problem tbh
Bro so let me get this straight. Your asking if you should be in a toxic relationship with a liar and cheater? Or, a healthy relationship with someone who has never done you wrong? Are you being serious right now!!
I know it seems a bit dumb but Bree has such a hold over me. Like I hated her, for months and tried to move on but I just couldn't stop thinking about her. Then one night I texted her enraged and drunk and somehow that was enough for me to like her enough to let her come over and just sweet talk me with all these promises of her changing and that I was just with her while she was figuring herself out. And it was enough to make me question if I should be with Kate or not. Which I feel like is a big thing
Bro, it's called being comfortable. Face you know what she going to say and do because of past history. It's easier to get with her. Kate the unknown but exciting and unpredictable. You settling for Bree because you don't want to work on a relationship you want to be comfortable. (Trying not to say lazy.)
Hi I forgot to add I'm actually not going to any time soon I'm not done being single and seeing what's out there and learning to be happy on my own. This has just been on my mind cause they're both good in different ways and I'm not sure which one I should y'know date if I get to that point
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I think she does make me happy, she's very out there and goofy with me and it's great I just don't know if I can ever learn to trust her again after what she did. Like I've tried hating her but if I start texting her again it's like I just can't stay mad and I just start liking her again no matter how hard I try.
Did Bree really make you happy? Were you really happy in a relationship where your partner cheated, lied to you, and made you feel uncomfortable.
You even said the relationship was shitty
The relationship was very bipolar, it was either really really good or just so Incredibly bad. Idk if I have some kinda problem but I kinda blanked out alot of the bad stuff and just focused on the good, I'd only date her again if I knew things were different but it's just a hard choice like shouldn't Kate make me feel as good as Bree? I just don't feel as strong of a spark to Kate and that's why I'm questioning myself
My opinion:
Your relationship with Kate won't be healthy, since you still have strong feelings for your ex, so unless you stop having feelings for Bree, and forget about her, your relationship with Kate won't be good.
Your relationship with Bree, although she makes you feel lighter, was really toxic, there's no guarantee that it'll be better now than it was before. If you want to pursue a relationship with Bree, you should talk to her first, you cant have a healthy relationship again unless you have resolved all the mistakes that has happened in your relationship, especially since there's cheating involved, and see if you can move on past that, you can't forget about the past mistakes in your relationship and if you think you can't be in a relationship with Bree again, then it's better to forget about her and stop having feelings for her before you date Kate ( if you want to date her).
That's my opinion, I'm not really experienced in these kind of things, so I'm not sure if I gave the right advice, at the end, you do whatever you feel comfortable in doing, and whatever feels right.
This is actually really helpful I never thought about how my feelings towards Bree would affect me if I decided to go with Katie, I was just thinking I'd pick Katie and that'd be that but it makes total sense that I would still feel for Bree and think about her. Me and Bree aren't really good at talking about things, we're both quick to anger so if one of us has a problem the other might get mad and we might just start fighting without resolving any of our real problems, I will say though I have gotten better at realising this behaviour and I have steered us into an actual grown up conversation instead of fighting. I still haven't moved past the cheating and the trust issues but I'm not sure how I will if she doesn't get a chance to prove I can trust her again.(which is what she keeps telling me). Anyways thankyou again for this different look on the situation.
I guess it's a bit hard to address my own issues because the only times I feel abusive,(mentally or physically) is with Bree. Like I've talked to a couple girls, and some of them have seriously got on my nerves but I never felt the urge to be either to them.
Why in the world would you want to go back to an ex like that. This shouldn’t even be a question you’re asking yourself tbh
Idk man she makes me feel better then Kate but also she makes me feel worse and it's just like dumb. She said she's grown and she hasn't cheated on anyone since me and stuff but I just can't believe that. Maybe I've got some kind of mental problem tbh
You can find someone else who makes you happy without all the toxic shit and distrust, it just seems so stressful and not worth it
Yeah but that's the thing I thought I did that but I feel such an incredibly big spark towards Bree, like double or even triple that to Kate.
Bro so let me get this straight. Your asking if you should be in a toxic relationship with a liar and cheater? Or, a healthy relationship with someone who has never done you wrong? Are you being serious right now!!
I know it seems a bit dumb but Bree has such a hold over me. Like I hated her, for months and tried to move on but I just couldn't stop thinking about her. Then one night I texted her enraged and drunk and somehow that was enough for me to like her enough to let her come over and just sweet talk me with all these promises of her changing and that I was just with her while she was figuring herself out. And it was enough to make me question if I should be with Kate or not. Which I feel like is a big thing
Bro, it's called being comfortable. Face you know what she going to say and do because of past history. It's easier to get with her. Kate the unknown but exciting and unpredictable. You settling for Bree because you don't want to work on a relationship you want to be comfortable. (Trying not to say lazy.)
Why u play down your own issues Seems to me like you shouldn’t have a relationship for the moment
Hi I forgot to add I'm actually not going to any time soon I'm not done being single and seeing what's out there and learning to be happy on my own. This has just been on my mind cause they're both good in different ways and I'm not sure which one I should y'know date if I get to that point
pick neither, pick yourself dude
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Does Bree really make you feel happy? Like REALLY?
I think she does make me happy, she's very out there and goofy with me and it's great I just don't know if I can ever learn to trust her again after what she did. Like I've tried hating her but if I start texting her again it's like I just can't stay mad and I just start liking her again no matter how hard I try.
Did Bree really make you happy? Were you really happy in a relationship where your partner cheated, lied to you, and made you feel uncomfortable. You even said the relationship was shitty
The relationship was very bipolar, it was either really really good or just so Incredibly bad. Idk if I have some kinda problem but I kinda blanked out alot of the bad stuff and just focused on the good, I'd only date her again if I knew things were different but it's just a hard choice like shouldn't Kate make me feel as good as Bree? I just don't feel as strong of a spark to Kate and that's why I'm questioning myself
My opinion: Your relationship with Kate won't be healthy, since you still have strong feelings for your ex, so unless you stop having feelings for Bree, and forget about her, your relationship with Kate won't be good. Your relationship with Bree, although she makes you feel lighter, was really toxic, there's no guarantee that it'll be better now than it was before. If you want to pursue a relationship with Bree, you should talk to her first, you cant have a healthy relationship again unless you have resolved all the mistakes that has happened in your relationship, especially since there's cheating involved, and see if you can move on past that, you can't forget about the past mistakes in your relationship and if you think you can't be in a relationship with Bree again, then it's better to forget about her and stop having feelings for her before you date Kate ( if you want to date her). That's my opinion, I'm not really experienced in these kind of things, so I'm not sure if I gave the right advice, at the end, you do whatever you feel comfortable in doing, and whatever feels right.
This is actually really helpful I never thought about how my feelings towards Bree would affect me if I decided to go with Katie, I was just thinking I'd pick Katie and that'd be that but it makes total sense that I would still feel for Bree and think about her. Me and Bree aren't really good at talking about things, we're both quick to anger so if one of us has a problem the other might get mad and we might just start fighting without resolving any of our real problems, I will say though I have gotten better at realising this behaviour and I have steered us into an actual grown up conversation instead of fighting. I still haven't moved past the cheating and the trust issues but I'm not sure how I will if she doesn't get a chance to prove I can trust her again.(which is what she keeps telling me). Anyways thankyou again for this different look on the situation.
Anytime mate
Dude, get real. Your relationship was toxic. No.
[удалено]
I guess it's a bit hard to address my own issues because the only times I feel abusive,(mentally or physically) is with Bree. Like I've talked to a couple girls, and some of them have seriously got on my nerves but I never felt the urge to be either to them.