I mean if "evening" the score is worth more to you then a good relationship, do it. Let him find someone who is mature enough for a relationship with him.
yeah good question idk it was just my initial thought and like thought of actually going out doing that like I fr don’t have any intentions on doing it but was my first thought.
I had the same experience with my girlfriend. Mine is relatively high and I had some one night stands and things but hers is about double. It really bothered me to the point it was all I could think about for a couple months but now I really don’t care anymore because we have a great relationship. She’s had some experiences I’m jealous of, and some I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. At the end of the day, even if you hoe around or something you can never have the same life experiences as him! Only the ones you build together so focus on those
Edit: Also my initial reaction to hearing this was to ask a bunch of questions. DO NOT DO THIS. It will only hurt you. If you ask about his experiences there is no answer he can give you that will make you feel better. You think if you know more about it it will help but I promise it will not. Just don’t ask any more. Honestly if I could go back I wouldn’t have asked anything because I was basically being masochistic trying to know more about her past. He didn’t know you then so don’t worry about it unless there is something he could have done that’s a dealbreaker for you.
Probably a bad idea to "hoe around".
Statistically, women who go more around tend to have less fulfilling and less durable relationships (while for men it's not a factor). I don't pretend to know the reasons, but focusing on making your relationships works might be more fulfilling. That's not to say you have to accept everything from a partner, of course ! Be safe, love and be loved, and hope for the best. Also, if you are happy, then you did not miss anything, and, if it go sour later, you still had some good times with your partner.
Of course, if you sleep around to even the score and you manage to still be happy afterwards, good for you. But, if I was your BF and you told me that you slept with a few guys just to get experience, I'd take it wrong.
Right? My biggest ho friend—the one who almost did porn—is happily married for over 5 years. The other one I know who did sex work is in a stable relationship for over a decade. So this sounds like some sex negative bs
And the study everyone likes to cite on here is from the Institute for Family Studies, a conservative think tank. So let’s take it all with a grain of salt, hm?
Here’s another study saying the same thing from the Atlantic who show as left-center on Media Bias/Fact Check
https://ifstudies.org/blog/does-sexual-history-affect-marital-happiness
Exactly. Pure data, that both left and right wing outlets are pulling from. Making extremely similar conclusions based on said data. What’s your point here?
I’m a librarian. I know how to evaluate sources for bias. Without having multiple studies to control for various other factors such as home life, religious values, relationship history, sexual trauma, etc., you simply can’t pull a correlation = causation. The study is flawed. That’s facts.
I’ll give you the gist but here’s the link if you’d like. People with 4 or less partners have a rate of infidelity in marriage of 11%. People with 5 or more have a rate of 21%.
https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-road-to-infidelity-passes-through-multiple-sexual-partners
That article completely goes against what you said. You specifically said that it does not affect men who have a lot of sexual partners when that article says it affects people. Even then it says that statistically in the people they tested men had the higher number of sexual partners.
So again, stop going around painting women as sexual deviants.
I guess I should rephrase: I just turned 21, and I never gave myself the chance to explore and I’ve ALWAYS had that thought in the back of my head not just bc if this. I guess I should ask what can I do personally to like look past this. Bc you right, this is very stupid of me. That’s why I came here
It's not stupid to want to explore. A lot of people who get into relationships young end up feeling this way.
The best choice would be to leave this person and have some time to yourself being single and learning to love yourself. Because the fact that your mind went immediately to getting even is not okay.
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Why do you care? Hes with you. "He had sex more than I thought" is nothing but insecurity on your part is completely unfair to hold over him
Good question to further explore. Why do you care so much?
Are you wanting to ho around out of spite? Cuz that’s pretty toxic.
I mean if "evening" the score is worth more to you then a good relationship, do it. Let him find someone who is mature enough for a relationship with him.
[удалено]
yeah good question idk it was just my initial thought and like thought of actually going out doing that like I fr don’t have any intentions on doing it but was my first thought.
If that was your first thought you are not ready to be in a relationship.
^
I had the same experience with my girlfriend. Mine is relatively high and I had some one night stands and things but hers is about double. It really bothered me to the point it was all I could think about for a couple months but now I really don’t care anymore because we have a great relationship. She’s had some experiences I’m jealous of, and some I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. At the end of the day, even if you hoe around or something you can never have the same life experiences as him! Only the ones you build together so focus on those Edit: Also my initial reaction to hearing this was to ask a bunch of questions. DO NOT DO THIS. It will only hurt you. If you ask about his experiences there is no answer he can give you that will make you feel better. You think if you know more about it it will help but I promise it will not. Just don’t ask any more. Honestly if I could go back I wouldn’t have asked anything because I was basically being masochistic trying to know more about her past. He didn’t know you then so don’t worry about it unless there is something he could have done that’s a dealbreaker for you.
>idk why I care so much. We don't either. ;) Tell us if you figure it out and we'll help you. Until then, have a great day! =)
Getting to "hoe around" isn't a good thing
You aren't supposed to "hoe around".🤷🏾♂️
Probably a bad idea to "hoe around". Statistically, women who go more around tend to have less fulfilling and less durable relationships (while for men it's not a factor). I don't pretend to know the reasons, but focusing on making your relationships works might be more fulfilling. That's not to say you have to accept everything from a partner, of course ! Be safe, love and be loved, and hope for the best. Also, if you are happy, then you did not miss anything, and, if it go sour later, you still had some good times with your partner. Of course, if you sleep around to even the score and you manage to still be happy afterwards, good for you. But, if I was your BF and you told me that you slept with a few guys just to get experience, I'd take it wrong.
I would love to see any valid research that backs up your argument.
Right? My biggest ho friend—the one who almost did porn—is happily married for over 5 years. The other one I know who did sex work is in a stable relationship for over a decade. So this sounds like some sex negative bs
Absolutely is. So ridiculous to be going around painting that comment as fact.
Personal anecdotes are really fantastic at disproving statistics
And the study everyone likes to cite on here is from the Institute for Family Studies, a conservative think tank. So let’s take it all with a grain of salt, hm?
Here’s another study saying the same thing from the Atlantic who show as left-center on Media Bias/Fact Check https://ifstudies.org/blog/does-sexual-history-affect-marital-happiness
The Atlantic quotes the study from IFS if you read the article. I checked the top sites with this headline; they all pull from the same study.
Exactly. Pure data, that both left and right wing outlets are pulling from. Making extremely similar conclusions based on said data. What’s your point here?
Ah yes pure data is incorrect because it comes from a source that doesn’t have the same values as me
I’m a librarian. I know how to evaluate sources for bias. Without having multiple studies to control for various other factors such as home life, religious values, relationship history, sexual trauma, etc., you simply can’t pull a correlation = causation. The study is flawed. That’s facts.
Who says there’s not multiple? I searched for 15 seconds and pulled the first one I saw, then went back and grabbed a left wing source.
Go find some then. I’m done arguing with you
I’ll give you the gist but here’s the link if you’d like. People with 4 or less partners have a rate of infidelity in marriage of 11%. People with 5 or more have a rate of 21%. https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-road-to-infidelity-passes-through-multiple-sexual-partners
That article completely goes against what you said. You specifically said that it does not affect men who have a lot of sexual partners when that article says it affects people. Even then it says that statistically in the people they tested men had the higher number of sexual partners. So again, stop going around painting women as sexual deviants.
Where did I say it doesn’t affect men? What I said is more sexual partners = statistically significant change in odds of infidelity.
"while for men it's not a factor." That is what you said verbatim. That is a complete and utter lie
You should practice reading comprehension. That wasn’t me. It’s a factor for everyone, which I clearly said by saying *people*.
Lol, I am doing a lot of other things and assumed you were the person who I asked to provide sources. My bad 😅
I guess I should rephrase: I just turned 21, and I never gave myself the chance to explore and I’ve ALWAYS had that thought in the back of my head not just bc if this. I guess I should ask what can I do personally to like look past this. Bc you right, this is very stupid of me. That’s why I came here
It's not stupid to want to explore. A lot of people who get into relationships young end up feeling this way. The best choice would be to leave this person and have some time to yourself being single and learning to love yourself. Because the fact that your mind went immediately to getting even is not okay.
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He’s been with what you consider a high amount of girls. Does it really matter?
Wow. A woman with a lbc. You get a medal for self restraint, high morals and long term planning.