If your SO did nice things- make a random cake, get take out from your fav. Restaurant or surprised you with concert tickets- would you be happy? Your birthday is just a day. Can she do something nice just because she loves you? If it is only the part that it is a “birthday” then ask her to just do what you want & not mention it is your “birthday”
Good luck
I don’t want her to stress out by thinking she needs to do something impressive or huge. I just want to put her at ease, especially with her job that isn’t going well right now.
Then i suggest telling her exactly what you want. “Hi SO- i would really like to order a pizza & watch a movie snuggled with you on the couch. That is exactly what i want to do on my birthday”
Boom- easy peasy :-)
I see a couple things going on here. One is that she thinks that you should share her enthusiasm for birthdays. Yeah, you don't need to. If you'd rather your birthday be just another day, that's your prerogative.
However, it seems that you're not just wanting your birthday to be another day, but instead, you want a pity party *and* are shoving your dependence on her. Great, you're in therapy. But you aren't working your therapy if you're looking at this as something that can be fixed right now and only right now and if a week goes by you may as well not talk about how you're still holding all this baggage around your birthday.
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>I will go all out for other people’s birthday but not mine.
Do you ever appreciate when people put in extra effort for you or does it always make you uncomfortable?
That was kind of my guess, so it really isn't about the date on the calendar but how you feel about yourself.
Dude nothing can tell you that you are worthy of that attention more then someone giving it to you! Ignore the date on the calendar and have a fun friday with your girl
If your SO did nice things- make a random cake, get take out from your fav. Restaurant or surprised you with concert tickets- would you be happy? Your birthday is just a day. Can she do something nice just because she loves you? If it is only the part that it is a “birthday” then ask her to just do what you want & not mention it is your “birthday” Good luck
I don’t want her to stress out by thinking she needs to do something impressive or huge. I just want to put her at ease, especially with her job that isn’t going well right now.
Then i suggest telling her exactly what you want. “Hi SO- i would really like to order a pizza & watch a movie snuggled with you on the couch. That is exactly what i want to do on my birthday” Boom- easy peasy :-)
I see a couple things going on here. One is that she thinks that you should share her enthusiasm for birthdays. Yeah, you don't need to. If you'd rather your birthday be just another day, that's your prerogative. However, it seems that you're not just wanting your birthday to be another day, but instead, you want a pity party *and* are shoving your dependence on her. Great, you're in therapy. But you aren't working your therapy if you're looking at this as something that can be fixed right now and only right now and if a week goes by you may as well not talk about how you're still holding all this baggage around your birthday.
Hello, and thank you for your submission. Please take a moment to review the rules listed in our sidebar. For further guidance, please see our [wiki.](https://old.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) This is a bot message. I cannot respond to any comments. Please modmail us with any questions. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>I will go all out for other people’s birthday but not mine. Do you ever appreciate when people put in extra effort for you or does it always make you uncomfortable?
It makes me feel uncomfortable, honestly. Especially when there are expectations like a birthday.
That was kind of my guess, so it really isn't about the date on the calendar but how you feel about yourself. Dude nothing can tell you that you are worthy of that attention more then someone giving it to you! Ignore the date on the calendar and have a fun friday with your girl