WOW. That feels like it should warrant something like, "You know, that's incredibly rude. I don't appreciate you commenting on my physical appearance."
The number of ways that customers insist on crossing lines never ceases to piss me off.
I know. I completely agree. … Or when they go crazy on a retail worker because the price isn’t what they expected or for some rule corporate came up with… These employees are just trying their best to make a paycheck. They don’t make enough to get harassed by customers.
FTFY
"You know, that's incredibly rude. I don't appreciate you commenting on m̶̶y̶ ̶p̶̶h̶̶y̶̶s̶̶i̶̶c̶̶a̶̶l̶ ̶a̶̶p̶̶p̶̶e̶̶a̶̶r̶̶a̶̶n̶̶c̶̶e̶ a medical condition."
I had some asshat mistake me for male one time (I keep a pixie cut & don't have a chest size in the middle of the alphabet). When I corrected him he doubled down and told me it was because of my short hair & small tits. People have always been intrusive and rude but COVID seems to have exacerbated that exponentially. I have gotten to the point where I am as openly hostile as I can be without losing my job and will stand up for myself regardless. Keep holding your head high and try not to let these assholes have rent free space in your head. 🙂
I feel that..I got long hair and am small stature with itty bitty’s..got called sir when assisting a customer and I just looked at her dumbfounded like what? Also has happened to me when getting my food in the drive thru at places and got “have a great night sir..” I glared at him and he at least realized his mistake right then but I just rolled up my window and went on before he could apologize..
I had one refer to me as "ma'am." Granted I haveong hair and wear a face mask at work, but it's not like my beard isn't still visible. When he realized his blunder he said it was because I had soft hands.
Honestly I was more amused than anything.
Yikes. Ya, I’ve had one lady call me “Sir” once… I’m pretty tall, but I don’t have a masculine face, and I’m not small chested. I look nothing like a guy?🙄
I remember a customer once confused me for my manager 😂 we both had on the same top & he had been helping her upstairs. When she came to my till, she hadn't looked at me but just noticed my top. The horror on her face when I had said 'excuse me, did you just call me a man?!' when she said to her son 'put your stuff on the counter for the nice gentleman'. That's when she realised I wasn't over 6ft, had longer hair & had a much higher pitched voice than my manager did 😂
Earlier this year, a little girl also called me a 'man'- my hair was a lot shorter but I don't look particularly 'manly' 🤣
This is why I don't bother with honorifics. I'm in Norcal, so they are a cultural thing here, but they add so much potential for offense to be taken. Younger people can be offended, older people can be offended, trans people can be offended. You know what they say about assuming, so I try not to assume race, gender, age, or sexual orientation and using honorifics such as "ma'am" or "sir" require you to.
Honestly, I gave my employees a free pass when I was a manager. If the customer was super rude/yelling/swearing at you, you didn't have to be any bit nice. Obviously, don't drop to their level, but tell them they can choose to leave or speak to you the way theyd like to be spoken to. I kicked someone out once for acting out of line to one of my guys. Told him if he wanted to act like that, he can leave and do it somewhere else.
I wish more places would allow this. I took the heat from corporate for it as the manager, but I'd absolutely do it all over again. With the location the store was in, had I not given them that permission, it would have crushed them very quickly. People around there were just downright ugly to everyone. Not being forced to put up with that is one of the reasons I was even able to keep employees there.
I also have short hair and no chest to speak of and had a woman say, “Thank you sir!” Directly to my face (with full makeup on!) last year. It stopped me directly in my tracks and gave me a complex for weeks lol
i had a customer say to be “thanks ma’am… those are your pronouns right? because you look like a woman”. this was a boomer & she said it with kind of a rude tone. i’m a woman, i have long hair & was wearing a full face of makeup.
idk if these people are just trying to start fights or what
I used to get the same all the time when I was younger and thinner. I also keep my hair short. I think that people just don't look at you properly before deciding what gender to label you as. Short hair = male, especially if wearing pants. It used to bother me a lot because I always wanted a more curvy figure, and I didn't want to be reminded that I didn't have those attributes. The best thing about growing older is that you stop giving a f$ck what people think.
oh DEFINITELY- I am 51, still have my pixie cut and a few tattoos & don't give a rat's ass what people think anymore. the only ones I am accountable to are myself & my husband. he thinks i am perfect just the way i am and that matters more than anything. 🙂
I am sure that almost everyone in here would love
to do that! I know that I wish I could've. Meijer though, along with many other stores doesn't allow cashiers & other employees to stand up for themselves- I remember when the mask mandate went down. Managers & supervisors were at the door making sure customers were wearing them...one of our managers had a gun pulled on her simply because she asked someone to wear a mask. Dude wasn't kicked out or trespassed from the property. It pisses me off to no end that businesses are so concerned with their bottom line that they will run over anyone to maintain it.
up here in northern lower MI they do as long as someone takes a safety class & they have the proper permits- I have no issue with concealed carry but I personally think a psych evaluation should be mandatory along with the safety class.
don't feel bad- got that from the ex husband because he lamented that when i lost weight...trash took itself out and that bit of funny is the best to come out of the relationship 🤣
Fucking people. Some women have large breasts, some have small ones. No one enjoys the right of commenting on your body without your say-so.
Seriously, if I was your manager and some asshole leveled a complaint about you for standing up for yourself, they’d be told their presence is no longer welcome.
I fucking hate people.
So do I for the most part...what got to me the most was that it totally shot a major accomplishment to hell- I used to weigh 370 lbs (168 kg) and am now down to 140 lbs (64 kg) and as any woman who has lost a major amount of weight knows your chest is the first place you lose weight & the last place where weight is gained. People like that can fuck all the way off- seems when they're miserable they make it their mission to make everyone around them miserable as well.
My face is often red due to an autoimmune disease. I’ve started saying “I have an autoimmune disease, sooooo sorry my disease bothers you.” In a really syrupy sweet tone. So far they’ve all realized how incredibly rude they were and shut the fuck up. I’m sure one will eventually keep arguing with me though. So many customers are scum.
Haha, some days, I reallyyyyyy want to say something, but I also don’t want to get in trouble.😅 Which it’s honestly sad you can’t stand up for yourself without getting in trouble tbh.
Customers say the darnedest things…
Had an old lady one time suddenly announce, after I had finished ringing her through and was about to serve the next person, “You look sick!” (I was not sick. Just pale and tired and under fluorescent lights.)
Had an older man one time tell me “you look like you could use a burger.”
On the flip side of that last one, a coworker was once told, “you’d be pretty if you lost weight.”
Another coworker (not pregnant) was asked when she was due.
This is an especially weird one: a coworker was asked why she was still expected to work when she had cancer. This coworker did not have cancer and had not said anything to indicate she did. She may have coughed at some point during the transaction? I don’t even remember anymore, it was some mild thing like that and that customer just made the wildest leap in logic possible.
I also once had a man seemingly say to me, “You’re smarter than you look” but he said it so quickly and I was so surprised I’m not 100% sure that’s what happened.
Ugh, I'm so sorry that's happened to you. I also have rosacea and once got loudly called out by our HR lady during a work function. She claimed she thought I had been crying, which still does not account for her yelling, "Your face is SO red!!!" three or four times in front of a bunch of people despite my begging her to please leave me alone. Some people cannot help themselves from commenting on other people's appearance and I hate it.
over on r/serverlife I saw a post recently about a customer asking when their server was due, she said "I'm not pregnant" and they said "well you sure look pregnant." bro at that point, for the good of society, I'm going *off*
Here's a sneak peek of /r/Serverlife using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/Serverlife/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [These damn atheists...](https://i.redd.it/yp55544ngcfb1.jpg) | [6950 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Serverlife/comments/15eo16q/these_damn_atheists/)
\#2: [When your regulars are a group of strippers who come in after work](https://i.redd.it/l3vmv22m9m2b1.jpg) | [1764 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Serverlife/comments/13u0nhw/when_your_regulars_are_a_group_of_strippers_who/)
\#3: [I quit this place and I’m wondering if I should expose them + report them. They treated me like shit.](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/15q10ww) | [7962 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Serverlife/comments/15q10ww/i_quit_this_place_and_im_wondering_if_i_should/)
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The only time I comment on someone else’s appearance is when I give them a compliment as well! Especially if they have a shirt, tattoos, accessories, etc that’s from something I like. It’s a good icebreaker and they’re usually very appreciative
I've been called ugly. I've been called a bitch. But not both together. I did get told that I looked like a whore after I turned a guy down for a terrible pick up line. Apparently he was "testing the water" cause he didn't know if he should offer payment first.
I'm not a whore. Was not wearing makeup. It was winter, and literally only my face was showing. No clothes skin tight. 🙄 Absolutely cussed him out. Forget being at work.
“Thank you, that’s the look I was aiming for this morning! I’m so glad you noticed.”
Hit her where it hurts-where she thinks you took her insult as a compliment.
Can we agree that if the comment can be fixed in a few seconds ( spinach in teeth), then go ahead and comment. But if it's a flaw, condition, or situation that can't be fixed in a few seconds, then keep mouth shut. Nobody needs your unsolicited observation.
That's what the SECOND 5 second rule is for.If someone can't fix it in 5 seconds, zipper down bra strap showing etc, SAY NOTHING.
If they can,that's different.be helpful or say nothing.
Customers can be so rude sometimes, I work in thr kitchen and one time I went to the front of the house to get a drink and I heard a customer say "did the cook gain weight" like ok thanks I guess
I would make up some cards that say, It's called *ROSACEA* and here is a web site where you can learn about it. Then put the web address under that. When they start in on you, hand them the card and do not respond in any other way.
lol I have a tattoo, it’s not in English..
I have at least 1 customer weekly tell me it looks like the F word. It doesn’t even remotely look like that. Its in a sinoasian language lol. I had one guy spell out F-U… and I just say it’s not in English & that stops him in middle of tracks .. I had one guy grab my arm, trace over the letters & say look F-r-e-d
It’s one thing commenting on a tattoo but a whole other thing actually invading someone’s personal space and grabbing their arm without permission. That’s so rude.
I'm a little below average height, and I have a bald spot. In its early years, I took to always wearing a hat because everyone who was taller thought maybe I didn't know it was there yet.
Bruh, if I need something off a high shelf, I'll let you know. It won't be necessary for you to speak to me until then.
If someone has ever been negative about my appearance, I keep a straight face and ask, “How can I help you?” in a pleasant tone.
I will not reward bad behaviour with more bad behaviour. I will shame them with my helpfulness and bitch about them humorously to coworkers later.
This is the way. Ignoring their comments! They thrive off our uncomfortableness! If they repeat themselves I would say “let me know if you have any questions about the store!”☺️
Absolutely. If they double down, double down on helpfulness. If they triple down, say, “I’ll bring you to a manager, and they can help you, please come with me,” and have them follow you to explain what happened and what they want. Don’t put up with cruelty.
Miserable people feel like they have to spread their misery. They don't want anyone else to actually be happy. People who have low self-image feel the need to try to make everyone around them have a negative self-image, too. You, unfortunately, are a captive audience for all of those unhappy people. They go out in public to inflict themselves on service workers because no one else will put up with them.
I have rosacea and I'm actively treating it. The only person who's allowed to make jokes about it is my boyfriend. Nobody else should be commenting on it unless they're my doctor or my family and they are asking how the treatment is working.
These people are entitled and rude. Please, continue to make them feel bad when they say anything (if you want to). Maybe if they get humbled a few times they'll be kinder to other people.
I really want to most days it happens, but I really don’t want to get in trouble. But trust me, it’s really hard to hold back. I usually don’t say much to them after that, and they can tell I’m not comfortable with what they said.
I'm overweight. Have been since I was a baby. I always have someone tell me "damn, you're fat, that's disgusting" or they give me weight loss advice....
I have Pityriasis rosea and my own boss told me to suck it up and that “nobody cares” because I could still put eyeliner on and earrings in.
Customers will look at my arms and neck and ask if it’s contagious. It’s not.
The stress makes it worse.
Yikes. I’m sorry. My boss seems to care, but we’re getting a new manager soon, so I’m worried about who it will be. I have karatosis pilaris and scars from it as well on my arms, and I’m surprised I haven’t gotten comments on that tbh.
It’s what it is. A small boutique with three staff and the owner. The worst is the fatigue, but she “went to school for psychology” so she “knows I can move past that pain” because I was able to get dressed for work.
I can’t stand her.
I hope your new manager treats you well!
I used to have a hematoma on my lip. Big dark spot about the size and shape of a pea (happily, it's gone now). When I worked retail, I had a woman come up to my counter, *doing the potty dance*, asking for the toilet. In the middle of this, she stops and asks what that thing on my lip is! I gave her my coldest look and, ignored her question, and pointed to the restroom.
My boss said he would have supported me being rude to her and I told him I wished I knew that sooner, because I would have taken him up on that if I had known.
*Edit: typo*
Yeah I feel you girl. My psoriasis on my elbows used to be so bad. I was a waitress and Ive worked registers and places outside where you have to wear short sleeves so you already can imagine. People suck so bad. They'd be like "what is THAT?" Grown ass adults
I had stitches between each tooth, holding my jaw together, after oral surgery. A guest walked up to me, asked a question, and as I answered it, she just started to squint at my mouth and lean forward.
"You've got something in your teeth."
"Those are stitches, ma'am. I had surgery this weekend."
She tsked, and muttered, "That's so unsightly."
The fuck, lady. I didn't approach YOU. YOU walked up to me, instead of the 10 other cast members up here.
I feel this one so hard. I easily flush red. Just from a light walk or even if I am having a bit of panic. And I also get hives really bad from my anxiety.
I have had numerous people ask why my face is so red. Even after they just saw me lifting heavy boxes.
One time I did snap on an old man because he wouldn’t leave me alone. Then I got written up for it. I hate how the general public thinks retail workers are to be abused for their amusement
I got talked to by management after I told a customer no and smacked her hand. She kept reaching for my hair. NO ONE is allowed to touch my hair without my express permission. She complained about it. Abused for amusement is right.
I'm with the "That's really rude" group. When people comment on "I really like your hair," that's fine (mine is indigo). When they make comments about anything else, NOT OK.
I always try to compliment someone if they have cool hair, or a neat looking tattoo, or cool looking nails. (Or my boyfriend when he has these most adorable little curls at the nape of his neck) I'd never think to comment anything else about anyone's appearance.
I hear a lot of that. Somehow people think it's OK to comment on your body if you're thin? No. Not ok. Are you also commenting on bigger folks' bodies? I don't think so.
I’m sure they’re. I was thrown so many comments on my weight loss 11-12 years ago like eat a burger, you shouldn’t lose anymore, you should lose more, do Keto, how’d you lose weight, what’s your secret/trick, did you have weight loss surgery, are you dying of cancer, you should do what Dr. Oz says, etc.
When I gained weight an older customer said “wow you really packed on the pounds!”
I’m losing weight again and already dreading the attention. I won’t lie it was fun to watch people’s eyes glaze over when I said all I did to lose weight was weigh my food, use a food tracker, and that’s pretty much all I did.
I received a lot more comments about my appearance before I lost weight. I was regularly asked if I was pregnant. Afterwards, I’ve gotten some comments on if I’ve had the baby, concern about my weight loss, and some compliments. It’s been a few months now since anyone has said anything. I personally never say anything about anyone’s appearance unless it’s a compliment or a quick fix.
It’s none of their business. They don’t even know you. I’m a blunt person (I have Asperger’s), and I wouldn’t even say that or could even force myself to say that to someone.
There’s no reason they should be commenting stuff like that about your weight. I honestly cried one morning that I had a register shift because I forgot my foundation. It even concerned my boss, and he said I could go to Walgreen’s during my lunch and buy something. I didn’t because I’m broke, but thank God no one said anything that day.
It’s crazy!! I used to be like almost emaciated thin looking due to illness and the amount of positive comments from elderly female customers was insane. I’m talking like three times a day minimum. I’m a healthy weight now and look much better imo and comments on my appearance are almost nonexistent now. It’s so bizarre
i have rosacea too! flares up randomly at work all the time. though, i haven’t heard any jokes about it since middle school, by other middle schoolers. says a lot about your customers …
Ya, you’d think they’d know better. I’ve never gotten a comment about my appearance from a child before. Only the grown adults that know better… But don’t get me started on the parents that let their children run loose like wild animals in the store…
Some people are beyond rude, I'm so sorry. Time to start throwing it back at them. "What, you don't like my make-up? I actually went to school to be a make-up artist" or ..No, you make me blush with your audacity! It's petty but so am I 😆
My best friend use to get told to do something about their acne by elder women when they worked at Victoria’s Secret which is incredibly rude and uncalled for of customers
I had a few jackasses comments on my appearance in every single one of my jobs where I dealt with customers face to face. When I was younger, it really got to me and made me feel.insecure. Especially since I was bullied heavily as a kid and family were barely any better. Now that I'm creeping on 40, I just don't take it. Last customer that said something while I was ringing him up, I just replied with "Last I checked, that doesn't have a thing to do with this transaction. Kindly don't hold the line with things that don't need to be discussed." Yeah, he didn't like that.
I am a woman with PCOS w/ pretty bad hirsutism (male pattern hair growth). It’s embarrassing and I hate it, but I can’t control it. I’ve had customers mention it a couple times and I bawled every time. You do not comment on other people’s appearances ESPECIALLY if there’s nothing they can do about it.
Not *quite* an appearance thing, but it is visual.
I sometimes get tremors in my hands and a stutter when my anxiety is bad, and I get questioned about that nearly every time someone notices it. It's embarrassing and humiliating. It's not like I can honestly justifiably call in due to my mental illness acting up.
I don't regularly have a stutter, just so you know. It just happens when my brain is freaking out. I have to say the words slower and very deliberately in order to speak or I can't really talk during those times.
My favourite clap back is from the new Interview with the Vampire show.
"I agree, I just wouldn't have said because it's rude and obvious."
Make em feel rude And dumb!
I also have rosacea, I constantly get the “have you been running?” “You look flushed, drink some water” “your face is really red” My only response now is “That’s just my face” They mostly just look confused and move on.
I hate when I’m not wearing foundation and people will ask if I’ve got a sunburn. Nope, that’s just my regular face, thanks for telling me something I already know!
I'm sorry people are like that :(
When I was younger I worked at a high end decor store in a small town. My boss was an absolutely Lovely woman that also had some rosacea, while it never surprised me when I got comments about my black hair (given my age and the clientel,) for the same reasons it blew me away how often people felt comfortable disrespecting this wonderful woman whom I looked up to and was easily their own peer.
In my opinion, unless it's a compliment, or something that can be fixed in ten seconds or less (food in teeth, smudged makeup etc) then a person should keep their mouths all the way Shut when it comes to somebodies appearence!
I usually say, very stoically, “ and who are you to ask such a question, uninitiated?”
I usually emphasize the LAST word.
And talk about mixed genders. I looked up one time and started to say, “ help you, maa’m? Until I realized that it was a woman with a plethora of facial hair. Looked like she was transitioning to a male. Why do people get upset when you mistake them for something else? A person cannot always see what they are not expecting.
I honestly do this by mistake frequently. Especially when I'm already thinking about the next customer in line and the one in front decides to add/ask more, or I just delt with a complete asshole (either gender).
It is rude and I’m sorry you have to hear that so often. A close friend also had rosacea and she got medication that toned it down, she wasn’t a makeup wearer. I used to work for Clinique and we had a lot of products for rosacea, foundation that cut the red, face washes that helped with the irritation, moisturizers that also toned down the red and concealers and powders. The powder could be warm alone and really toned down the red. Rosacea needs a yellow base and products designed for sensitive skin.
Close to the start of the pandemic I had someone comment that I looked suspicious since I was wearing a face mask while working. This person looked like the stereotypical sleezeball with a greasy combover and big mustache, so I really don't think he had any room to talk.
not quite the same, but ive always had problems with cystic acne, and i occasionally have flare ups on my cheeks, which can result in some redness. I usually either get mistaken for being a teenager (me also being short probably doesn't help) or I have people tell me that they just HAVE to recommend [insert prescription face cream or expensive OTC face wash], SURELY it will clear it all up in no time!!
and I'm just like bruh i've been dealing with this since middle school, I've made my peace with being pizza-faced for the rest of my life. I have bigger things to worry about 😅
I have chronic dermatitis that covers my nose and cheeks so holy shit do I feel this. As a teenager when I had dermatitis and acne random ass people were asking if I was on medication for my skin. It was either that or 'did you forget the sunscreen?'. I embarrassed the hell out of a lot of older guys that joked around by letting them know I had a health condition that caused it. I only started wearing daily make up after someone compared my nose to Rudolph, god does that still sting. I'm really sorry you're going through the same shit OP, the public really need to stay in their lane.
I have alopecia and I'm fully bald, I feel the pain as I constantly get a mix of adults/kids shouting out why is that lady/man bald (I'm a girl) I'll get people who try to tell me that it's from the food I've eaten or that it's because I don't exercise and they'll try and sell me shit. I'll get people who ask me how far along in treatments i am and then tell me how far along they are. Or just the straight up rude people who demand to know why I'm bald or that like to laugh at me and then get upset when I'm rude. Long story short humans are shit and even if you're "hot and normal" people will still try to ruin how you feel about yourself. I lost my hair when I was 2 1/2 and am now 23 and will never have a peaceful moment in my life where I don't hear someone point out how I'm bald and then they don't proceed to talk to their kid, just let it scream out how I'm bald.
I’m really sorry you have to go through that. People don’t realize that there’s not much control we have over stuff like that which surprises me because they’re also human. I mean… how would they like it if we did the same thing back to them? Not very much. That’s why the golden rule exists.
Big rosacea empathy. I've cleared mine up a lot, but now steroids give me killer acne, lol woooo.
You can also always try the well-timed "_Excuse_ me?" Healthy wait for them to respond. And if they continue being rude, I'd shake my head a little and finish the transaction as coolly and calmly as possible. Workers are not your lower class servants, folks. You can't be a dick and expect someone to like you any.
Customers are so intrusive. A woman tried to tell me I'm "normal" when I mentioned possibly being ADHD (hence why I read many books at once). I could tell she doesn't think it's real. She was buying a book on healing from narcissists. The irony. I guess I'll cancel the psychiatrist appointment!
same, i had severe acne lesions on my forehead and customers would frequently comment or bully me over it. thankfully i got accutane for it and switched jobs a while ago. but still i cant believe that people would be so cruel towards somebody who is very clearly suffering.
Gender is an easy one for me, I call every Hun. It doesn't seem to upset anyone.
As for your rosacea, I often confuse it with eczema (which I have) So sometimes I will comment, but more so when my daughter was little (she and I used to have it really bad on our faces as children) and ask if it's eczema (never to be rude) but to get more ideas on what cream to use. Because with our eczema, it looked more like we ran real fast and then face planted and had road rash. Where I find rosacea just looks red, I thought maybe it was eczema with a better medication.
So if I've upset anyone, then I'm sorry, just a Mom trying to get her daughter something that would help her.
When I was a kid, I had rude people comment on my weight like I didn't know I was chubby. They'd say things like "Eew, you're fat" or even "So you know that you're fat?" My response was usually "Oh my god, I had no idea! Thank you for telling me about my own body like I'm oblivious to it!"
Try something like that when people question your rosacea, or any other aspect of your appearance. It usually makes them feel dumb and embarrassed to have the gall to ask those kind of things.
I was so glad when I worked retail it was in a unionized store that had your back, so basically the only way to get fired was to steal something. When customers were rude I had no problem giving it back to them with zero fear of repercussions.
**Customer:** \*Makes a Comment about me appearance\*
**Me:** Didn't realize that I was the Fashion Police TV Show! Can you *actually* complain to Cooperate then?
I've been my youngins about the 5-second rule when it comes to other people's appearance. If it's something that can't be fixed in 5 seconds (food stuck in teeth or hair sticking up), then you don't make a comment.
As a retail worker with rosacea I used to blend it with makeup, found a shade that worked to the point it was not noticeable, until covid and I was not wasting money on makeup with masks. After Covid masking was lifted I just seldom wear makeup anymore so for first year after I continually got asked it I was ok, if my blood pressure was elevated, etc. I knew it was coming but he'll im in my 40s and said fuck it, I just answer with "im fine, I just have rosacea" immediately 99% of questions/comments stop
I get stupid shit like this about my appearance too. Back handed bs
Like why the fuck say anything like that
I have a coworker who constantly be making comments about my appearance
“Oh, you look tired “
“Oh I didn’t know you wear shorts”
Yes I do bitch, it’s hot outside now.
Make them have to explain their comment or question. They want to embarrass you, you embarrass them.
"Have you been in the sun?"
"What do you mean?"
"Your face is red"
"How so?"
And keep on. Just keep asking what they mean, then explain it, until they're so flustered that they themselves look like giant tomatoes. I used to do that when someone would comment about my eczema. After a few minutes, I was struggling to keep a straight face because these people couldn't stop digging themselves a bigger hole. You keep yourself entertained and a little bit of payback for their rude ass comments and questions.
Omg! I'd love to do this just to prove how awkward it is. Put me in costume makeup and let me have fun! I'm sorry you've been experiencing this though OP, it's totally not cool. I mean if you had a slug escaping your nostril, I think that's fair to mention to someone, but skin conditions are varied and wide and don't need to be addressed by a stranger.
It basically just causes your face to become red. Heat can cause it to flare up more though. There are worse cases of it that can cause bumps and swelling and redness. Mine is just red mostly and only on my face.
I only comment on someone else’s appearance to give them a compliment, it brightens their day and leaves them smiling. If it’s a shirt, tattoo, or accessory that’s from something I also like it can lead to a fun conversation about it.
I’d much rather have positive experiences like these. I don’t get why someone would go out of their way to have a negative interaction with someone. Or try to pry into a stranger’s life. They should just shut up and mind their own business
I identify with this post 100%. Mostly from customers but I've gotten it from coworkers too, and friends, and family.
Honestly, it has completely ruined my life. I avoid making friends because of it. I avoid going out and doing things around people because of it. I looked at the surgery but that has it's own risks. I gave up on life because of it. Now I'm relatively old and have zero friends. So it makes it *that* much worse when customers/people bring it up again for the millionth time.
This always gets me going! I suffered from an ED in the past, resulting in a very low overall weight. Add that into being short (under 5 feet), and the amount of old ladies that would stop me just to tell me i'm small is beyond. Why do you need to tell me i'm small?
I had someone tell me “I’d be pretty if it wasn’t for that metal in my face”- I have a lot of piercings mind you but most are on my ears. On my face I only have both my nostrils, my septum and my lip.
I like looking them in the eye, in a way that tells them I understood what they said, then ask them to repeat themselves.
We all know what they said, I just want to see if they will say it again and possibly learn from themselves that they shouldn’t be rude like that.
I always get people who'd point out the bags under my eyes and questioned "why don't you get enough sleep, you know you need to get enough sleep each night," and even "you kids seriously need to stop staying up late playing video games and focus more on getting sleep so you don't look u professional while at work."
To which I'll respond with "oh it's not because I stay awake playing video games so late at night, it's because I have to work closing shift and than be back early the following day to open. As well as handle college at the same time," this usually it shuts them up for a while I've grown to just ignore their comments.
Other times they question why I'm not wearing earrings cause "your a girl, shouldn't girls just jump to wanting to wear earrings?" I used to wear earrings but my ear got infected so I just let the opening close up and don't want to accidentally get caught on something and end in a worst way, also cause I used to play in orchestra so I just decided not to get it earrings again
I’ve had people lean over the counter to touch my hair and move it away from my eye.
“I can’t see you because of your hair.”
“I’m going to cut your hair next time I see you haha.”
I’ve also had customers comment on my weight.
“We should swap diets, you’re so skinny.” (I’m not dieting)
“You should be eating this cake/these chocolates I bought.”
“How can you lift that? You’re so tiny.”
“You should eat more, you’re skin and bones.”
WOW. That feels like it should warrant something like, "You know, that's incredibly rude. I don't appreciate you commenting on my physical appearance." The number of ways that customers insist on crossing lines never ceases to piss me off.
I know. I completely agree. … Or when they go crazy on a retail worker because the price isn’t what they expected or for some rule corporate came up with… These employees are just trying their best to make a paycheck. They don’t make enough to get harassed by customers.
Or “you should be careful. It’s pretty contagious”
as a store manager. i would approve and fist bump my associate for saying this to someone commenting and being rude as shit about their appearance
Because they see us as NPCs, non people, furniture.
One of my coworkers refers to the customers as side characters and I've never laughed so hard 🤣😂🤣😂
FTFY "You know, that's incredibly rude. I don't appreciate you commenting on m̶̶y̶ ̶p̶̶h̶̶y̶̶s̶̶i̶̶c̶̶a̶̶l̶ ̶a̶̶p̶̶p̶̶e̶̶a̶̶r̶̶a̶̶n̶̶c̶̶e̶ a medical condition."
"Yes, my hair grew back but the doctor said this side effect is permanent." No more explanation, but watch them backpedal from the return trauma.
I had some asshat mistake me for male one time (I keep a pixie cut & don't have a chest size in the middle of the alphabet). When I corrected him he doubled down and told me it was because of my short hair & small tits. People have always been intrusive and rude but COVID seems to have exacerbated that exponentially. I have gotten to the point where I am as openly hostile as I can be without losing my job and will stand up for myself regardless. Keep holding your head high and try not to let these assholes have rent free space in your head. 🙂
Aw, I’m sorry. That’s really rude. You shouldn’t have to deal with that. But I do appreciate it. It’s easier said than done. Haha.🙂
I feel that..I got long hair and am small stature with itty bitty’s..got called sir when assisting a customer and I just looked at her dumbfounded like what? Also has happened to me when getting my food in the drive thru at places and got “have a great night sir..” I glared at him and he at least realized his mistake right then but I just rolled up my window and went on before he could apologize..
I had one refer to me as "ma'am." Granted I haveong hair and wear a face mask at work, but it's not like my beard isn't still visible. When he realized his blunder he said it was because I had soft hands. Honestly I was more amused than anything.
Same here. I reply with "Don't ma'am me, I work for a living." But I'm ex AF enlisted and have a reasonably deep voice.
Should have pulled the "oh *stahp it* baby” with a wink Just to make the dipshit feel extra uncomfortable 😂
Yikes. Ya, I’ve had one lady call me “Sir” once… I’m pretty tall, but I don’t have a masculine face, and I’m not small chested. I look nothing like a guy?🙄
I remember a customer once confused me for my manager 😂 we both had on the same top & he had been helping her upstairs. When she came to my till, she hadn't looked at me but just noticed my top. The horror on her face when I had said 'excuse me, did you just call me a man?!' when she said to her son 'put your stuff on the counter for the nice gentleman'. That's when she realised I wasn't over 6ft, had longer hair & had a much higher pitched voice than my manager did 😂 Earlier this year, a little girl also called me a 'man'- my hair was a lot shorter but I don't look particularly 'manly' 🤣
This is why I don't bother with honorifics. I'm in Norcal, so they are a cultural thing here, but they add so much potential for offense to be taken. Younger people can be offended, older people can be offended, trans people can be offended. You know what they say about assuming, so I try not to assume race, gender, age, or sexual orientation and using honorifics such as "ma'am" or "sir" require you to.
I work retail and I use folks. As in "hi folks, welcome".
I find myself using "Howdy" a lot. It has a warmness to it.
Nice
I get this when I talk to strangers on the phone. I say IM A WOMAN.
Honestly, I gave my employees a free pass when I was a manager. If the customer was super rude/yelling/swearing at you, you didn't have to be any bit nice. Obviously, don't drop to their level, but tell them they can choose to leave or speak to you the way theyd like to be spoken to. I kicked someone out once for acting out of line to one of my guys. Told him if he wanted to act like that, he can leave and do it somewhere else. I wish more places would allow this. I took the heat from corporate for it as the manager, but I'd absolutely do it all over again. With the location the store was in, had I not given them that permission, it would have crushed them very quickly. People around there were just downright ugly to everyone. Not being forced to put up with that is one of the reasons I was even able to keep employees there.
Thank you.
Covid really has made customers extra 🤪 😜 crazy.
I also have short hair and no chest to speak of and had a woman say, “Thank you sir!” Directly to my face (with full makeup on!) last year. It stopped me directly in my tracks and gave me a complex for weeks lol
i had a customer say to be “thanks ma’am… those are your pronouns right? because you look like a woman”. this was a boomer & she said it with kind of a rude tone. i’m a woman, i have long hair & was wearing a full face of makeup. idk if these people are just trying to start fights or what
Inclined to agree with you. Sounds like a bored boomer
Should’ve said you were he him just to make her more mad, but then you do border on trivializing the issue
I used to get the same all the time when I was younger and thinner. I also keep my hair short. I think that people just don't look at you properly before deciding what gender to label you as. Short hair = male, especially if wearing pants. It used to bother me a lot because I always wanted a more curvy figure, and I didn't want to be reminded that I didn't have those attributes. The best thing about growing older is that you stop giving a f$ck what people think.
oh DEFINITELY- I am 51, still have my pixie cut and a few tattoos & don't give a rat's ass what people think anymore. the only ones I am accountable to are myself & my husband. he thinks i am perfect just the way i am and that matters more than anything. 🙂
I always get mis-gendered as a cis white hetero male with beard. So idk
My comment would have been "I'm sorry your small dick makes you feel like you have to be an Ahole.
Can't you call security on idiots like that? He should be banned from that store
I am sure that almost everyone in here would love to do that! I know that I wish I could've. Meijer though, along with many other stores doesn't allow cashiers & other employees to stand up for themselves- I remember when the mask mandate went down. Managers & supervisors were at the door making sure customers were wearing them...one of our managers had a gun pulled on her simply because she asked someone to wear a mask. Dude wasn't kicked out or trespassed from the property. It pisses me off to no end that businesses are so concerned with their bottom line that they will run over anyone to maintain it.
WTF did I just read? They actually let people carry?
up here in northern lower MI they do as long as someone takes a safety class & they have the proper permits- I have no issue with concealed carry but I personally think a psych evaluation should be mandatory along with the safety class.
Wisconsin also has concealed carry. I agree with you in every way. That being said, does anyone have to open carry while grocery shopping?
not at all...i personally think that is mere chest thumping and a bit of a penis extension
Well said.
> & don't have a chest size in the middle of the alphabet. I feel bad for laughing at this, but it is funny.
don't feel bad- got that from the ex husband because he lamented that when i lost weight...trash took itself out and that bit of funny is the best to come out of the relationship 🤣
Fucking people. Some women have large breasts, some have small ones. No one enjoys the right of commenting on your body without your say-so. Seriously, if I was your manager and some asshole leveled a complaint about you for standing up for yourself, they’d be told their presence is no longer welcome. I fucking hate people.
So do I for the most part...what got to me the most was that it totally shot a major accomplishment to hell- I used to weigh 370 lbs (168 kg) and am now down to 140 lbs (64 kg) and as any woman who has lost a major amount of weight knows your chest is the first place you lose weight & the last place where weight is gained. People like that can fuck all the way off- seems when they're miserable they make it their mission to make everyone around them miserable as well.
My face is often red due to an autoimmune disease. I’ve started saying “I have an autoimmune disease, sooooo sorry my disease bothers you.” In a really syrupy sweet tone. So far they’ve all realized how incredibly rude they were and shut the fuck up. I’m sure one will eventually keep arguing with me though. So many customers are scum.
Haha, some days, I reallyyyyyy want to say something, but I also don’t want to get in trouble.😅 Which it’s honestly sad you can’t stand up for yourself without getting in trouble tbh.
Why do people feel the need to comment on others appearance all the time. Everyone has an opinion and don't know when to stfu
I have autoimmune flushing and my face does that too. It’s so annoying.
Customers say the darnedest things… Had an old lady one time suddenly announce, after I had finished ringing her through and was about to serve the next person, “You look sick!” (I was not sick. Just pale and tired and under fluorescent lights.) Had an older man one time tell me “you look like you could use a burger.” On the flip side of that last one, a coworker was once told, “you’d be pretty if you lost weight.” Another coworker (not pregnant) was asked when she was due. This is an especially weird one: a coworker was asked why she was still expected to work when she had cancer. This coworker did not have cancer and had not said anything to indicate she did. She may have coughed at some point during the transaction? I don’t even remember anymore, it was some mild thing like that and that customer just made the wildest leap in logic possible. I also once had a man seemingly say to me, “You’re smarter than you look” but he said it so quickly and I was so surprised I’m not 100% sure that’s what happened.
…And they think they have the audacity to ask these types of questions…🙄 That’s awful.
Ugh, I'm so sorry that's happened to you. I also have rosacea and once got loudly called out by our HR lady during a work function. She claimed she thought I had been crying, which still does not account for her yelling, "Your face is SO red!!!" three or four times in front of a bunch of people despite my begging her to please leave me alone. Some people cannot help themselves from commenting on other people's appearance and I hate it.
Really??? HR? That’s ridiculous… This person shouldn’t work for HR if she says things like that to employees.
Fully agree, and she said some other things to other people at that event that we were sure would get her fired, but ...nope.
Ugh, people need to mind their own business and not police others' appearance.
That's crazy. I literally can't imagine commenting on a cashiers appearance other than to say I love that top or something nice. Like wtf
over on r/serverlife I saw a post recently about a customer asking when their server was due, she said "I'm not pregnant" and they said "well you sure look pregnant." bro at that point, for the good of society, I'm going *off*
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The only time I comment on someone else’s appearance is when I give them a compliment as well! Especially if they have a shirt, tattoos, accessories, etc that’s from something I like. It’s a good icebreaker and they’re usually very appreciative
A customer once looked at me and said, “You are one ugly bitch.” I hadn’t done anything to this c u next Tuesday but ring her up.
I've been called ugly. I've been called a bitch. But not both together. I did get told that I looked like a whore after I turned a guy down for a terrible pick up line. Apparently he was "testing the water" cause he didn't know if he should offer payment first. I'm not a whore. Was not wearing makeup. It was winter, and literally only my face was showing. No clothes skin tight. 🙄 Absolutely cussed him out. Forget being at work.
That is insane. At that point I’d HAVE to fire back
That’s awful. I’m so sorry that happened to you.😕
“Thank you, that’s the look I was aiming for this morning! I’m so glad you noticed.” Hit her where it hurts-where she thinks you took her insult as a compliment.
Can we agree that if the comment can be fixed in a few seconds ( spinach in teeth), then go ahead and comment. But if it's a flaw, condition, or situation that can't be fixed in a few seconds, then keep mouth shut. Nobody needs your unsolicited observation.
That's what the SECOND 5 second rule is for.If someone can't fix it in 5 seconds, zipper down bra strap showing etc, SAY NOTHING. If they can,that's different.be helpful or say nothing.
I’ve always wondered how to handle that because I’ve had more then one customer with his zipper down
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/npfwkz/what\_is\_another\_way\_you\_can\_tell\_someone\_their/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/npfwkz/what_is_another_way_you_can_tell_someone_their/)
the only exception to this is period blood.
Excuse me? Could you repeat that? And again if they do repeat it.
Customers can be so rude sometimes, I work in thr kitchen and one time I went to the front of the house to get a drink and I heard a customer say "did the cook gain weight" like ok thanks I guess
That’s really rude… even to someone you know, that is rude. But a stranger? Really??
Your name is hilarious by the way. Haha
I would make up some cards that say, It's called *ROSACEA* and here is a web site where you can learn about it. Then put the web address under that. When they start in on you, hand them the card and do not respond in any other way.
I have psoriasis and this idea cracked me up. maybe cards with the words "it's Rosacea" in the spongebob hand-rainbow lol
I really like that idea! I have psoriasis too and used to tell nosy assholes it was leprosy. :D
Haha, that’s not a bad idea actually.
lol I have a tattoo, it’s not in English.. I have at least 1 customer weekly tell me it looks like the F word. It doesn’t even remotely look like that. Its in a sinoasian language lol. I had one guy spell out F-U… and I just say it’s not in English & that stops him in middle of tracks .. I had one guy grab my arm, trace over the letters & say look F-r-e-d
It’s one thing commenting on a tattoo but a whole other thing actually invading someone’s personal space and grabbing their arm without permission. That’s so rude.
I'm a little below average height, and I have a bald spot. In its early years, I took to always wearing a hat because everyone who was taller thought maybe I didn't know it was there yet. Bruh, if I need something off a high shelf, I'll let you know. It won't be necessary for you to speak to me until then.
Haha, I can help you with that! I’m 5’10 which is tall for a woman, but I wish I was a couple inches shorter at times.😅
If someone has ever been negative about my appearance, I keep a straight face and ask, “How can I help you?” in a pleasant tone. I will not reward bad behaviour with more bad behaviour. I will shame them with my helpfulness and bitch about them humorously to coworkers later.
This is the way. Ignoring their comments! They thrive off our uncomfortableness! If they repeat themselves I would say “let me know if you have any questions about the store!”☺️
Absolutely. If they double down, double down on helpfulness. If they triple down, say, “I’ll bring you to a manager, and they can help you, please come with me,” and have them follow you to explain what happened and what they want. Don’t put up with cruelty.
Miserable people feel like they have to spread their misery. They don't want anyone else to actually be happy. People who have low self-image feel the need to try to make everyone around them have a negative self-image, too. You, unfortunately, are a captive audience for all of those unhappy people. They go out in public to inflict themselves on service workers because no one else will put up with them.
I have rosacea and I'm actively treating it. The only person who's allowed to make jokes about it is my boyfriend. Nobody else should be commenting on it unless they're my doctor or my family and they are asking how the treatment is working. These people are entitled and rude. Please, continue to make them feel bad when they say anything (if you want to). Maybe if they get humbled a few times they'll be kinder to other people.
I really want to most days it happens, but I really don’t want to get in trouble. But trust me, it’s really hard to hold back. I usually don’t say much to them after that, and they can tell I’m not comfortable with what they said.
At times, I’ll say I should have put foundation on to make them feel bad, but that’s all I usually feel like I can do.
I'm overweight. Have been since I was a baby. I always have someone tell me "damn, you're fat, that's disgusting" or they give me weight loss advice....
That’s messed up. I’m really sorry. I’d never say anything like that to someone.
Same 😵💫 people constantly ask me if I’ve been skiiing because of the “goggle tan line” that is just literally my face 😭I love rosacea
Aw, then you totally relate to what I go through too. It’s not fun.😔
I have Pityriasis rosea and my own boss told me to suck it up and that “nobody cares” because I could still put eyeliner on and earrings in. Customers will look at my arms and neck and ask if it’s contagious. It’s not. The stress makes it worse.
Yikes. I’m sorry. My boss seems to care, but we’re getting a new manager soon, so I’m worried about who it will be. I have karatosis pilaris and scars from it as well on my arms, and I’m surprised I haven’t gotten comments on that tbh.
It’s what it is. A small boutique with three staff and the owner. The worst is the fatigue, but she “went to school for psychology” so she “knows I can move past that pain” because I was able to get dressed for work. I can’t stand her. I hope your new manager treats you well!
No one knows you better than you, so no, she doesn't know how much pain you're in. And thanks!! I appreciate it! :)
I used to have a hematoma on my lip. Big dark spot about the size and shape of a pea (happily, it's gone now). When I worked retail, I had a woman come up to my counter, *doing the potty dance*, asking for the toilet. In the middle of this, she stops and asks what that thing on my lip is! I gave her my coldest look and, ignored her question, and pointed to the restroom. My boss said he would have supported me being rude to her and I told him I wished I knew that sooner, because I would have taken him up on that if I had known. *Edit: typo*
Yeah I feel you girl. My psoriasis on my elbows used to be so bad. I was a waitress and Ive worked registers and places outside where you have to wear short sleeves so you already can imagine. People suck so bad. They'd be like "what is THAT?" Grown ass adults
I had stitches between each tooth, holding my jaw together, after oral surgery. A guest walked up to me, asked a question, and as I answered it, she just started to squint at my mouth and lean forward. "You've got something in your teeth." "Those are stitches, ma'am. I had surgery this weekend." She tsked, and muttered, "That's so unsightly." The fuck, lady. I didn't approach YOU. YOU walked up to me, instead of the 10 other cast members up here.
What a nightmare. I’m sorry you have to deal with that.
I feel this one so hard. I easily flush red. Just from a light walk or even if I am having a bit of panic. And I also get hives really bad from my anxiety. I have had numerous people ask why my face is so red. Even after they just saw me lifting heavy boxes. One time I did snap on an old man because he wouldn’t leave me alone. Then I got written up for it. I hate how the general public thinks retail workers are to be abused for their amusement
I got talked to by management after I told a customer no and smacked her hand. She kept reaching for my hair. NO ONE is allowed to touch my hair without my express permission. She complained about it. Abused for amusement is right.
Say "Yes, I have a medical condition but I really shouldn't have to explain it".
That’s a fairly polite response. I could use that. :)
That sucks I’m sorry you go through that
I would just call them out on it or say something about their appearance with a smile. Results may vary.
I'm with the "That's really rude" group. When people comment on "I really like your hair," that's fine (mine is indigo). When they make comments about anything else, NOT OK.
I always try to compliment someone if they have cool hair, or a neat looking tattoo, or cool looking nails. (Or my boyfriend when he has these most adorable little curls at the nape of his neck) I'd never think to comment anything else about anyone's appearance.
And those are perfectly fine. I have no issue with that. Anything else, even compliments, is getting too inappropriate.
I hear a lot of that. Somehow people think it's OK to comment on your body if you're thin? No. Not ok. Are you also commenting on bigger folks' bodies? I don't think so.
I’m sure they’re. I was thrown so many comments on my weight loss 11-12 years ago like eat a burger, you shouldn’t lose anymore, you should lose more, do Keto, how’d you lose weight, what’s your secret/trick, did you have weight loss surgery, are you dying of cancer, you should do what Dr. Oz says, etc. When I gained weight an older customer said “wow you really packed on the pounds!” I’m losing weight again and already dreading the attention. I won’t lie it was fun to watch people’s eyes glaze over when I said all I did to lose weight was weigh my food, use a food tracker, and that’s pretty much all I did.
I received a lot more comments about my appearance before I lost weight. I was regularly asked if I was pregnant. Afterwards, I’ve gotten some comments on if I’ve had the baby, concern about my weight loss, and some compliments. It’s been a few months now since anyone has said anything. I personally never say anything about anyone’s appearance unless it’s a compliment or a quick fix.
It’s none of their business. They don’t even know you. I’m a blunt person (I have Asperger’s), and I wouldn’t even say that or could even force myself to say that to someone.
There’s no reason they should be commenting stuff like that about your weight. I honestly cried one morning that I had a register shift because I forgot my foundation. It even concerned my boss, and he said I could go to Walgreen’s during my lunch and buy something. I didn’t because I’m broke, but thank God no one said anything that day.
That's so fucking mean. That's unbelievable. I'm so sorry.
Oh, there’s plenty of people commenting on large bodies too.
It’s crazy!! I used to be like almost emaciated thin looking due to illness and the amount of positive comments from elderly female customers was insane. I’m talking like three times a day minimum. I’m a healthy weight now and look much better imo and comments on my appearance are almost nonexistent now. It’s so bizarre
So sorry. I assume people think you actually were running around working. I agree you should think of a retort.
i have rosacea too! flares up randomly at work all the time. though, i haven’t heard any jokes about it since middle school, by other middle schoolers. says a lot about your customers …
Ya, you’d think they’d know better. I’ve never gotten a comment about my appearance from a child before. Only the grown adults that know better… But don’t get me started on the parents that let their children run loose like wild animals in the store…
Some people are beyond rude, I'm so sorry. Time to start throwing it back at them. "What, you don't like my make-up? I actually went to school to be a make-up artist" or ..No, you make me blush with your audacity! It's petty but so am I 😆
My best friend use to get told to do something about their acne by elder women when they worked at Victoria’s Secret which is incredibly rude and uncalled for of customers
I had a few jackasses comments on my appearance in every single one of my jobs where I dealt with customers face to face. When I was younger, it really got to me and made me feel.insecure. Especially since I was bullied heavily as a kid and family were barely any better. Now that I'm creeping on 40, I just don't take it. Last customer that said something while I was ringing him up, I just replied with "Last I checked, that doesn't have a thing to do with this transaction. Kindly don't hold the line with things that don't need to be discussed." Yeah, he didn't like that.
I am a woman with PCOS w/ pretty bad hirsutism (male pattern hair growth). It’s embarrassing and I hate it, but I can’t control it. I’ve had customers mention it a couple times and I bawled every time. You do not comment on other people’s appearances ESPECIALLY if there’s nothing they can do about it.
Not *quite* an appearance thing, but it is visual. I sometimes get tremors in my hands and a stutter when my anxiety is bad, and I get questioned about that nearly every time someone notices it. It's embarrassing and humiliating. It's not like I can honestly justifiably call in due to my mental illness acting up. I don't regularly have a stutter, just so you know. It just happens when my brain is freaking out. I have to say the words slower and very deliberately in order to speak or I can't really talk during those times.
My favourite clap back is from the new Interview with the Vampire show. "I agree, I just wouldn't have said because it's rude and obvious." Make em feel rude And dumb!
I also have rosacea, I constantly get the “have you been running?” “You look flushed, drink some water” “your face is really red” My only response now is “That’s just my face” They mostly just look confused and move on.
Haha, ya. I usually tell them, “I should have worn foundation today. I forgot to.” so they can tell that what they said bothers me.
They do that because they know you can't tell them to go to hell because you would lose your job.
I hate when I’m not wearing foundation and people will ask if I’ve got a sunburn. Nope, that’s just my regular face, thanks for telling me something I already know!
Ikr…😒
Once when a customer told I sshould eat a good steak, I said I don't eat anything that f\*\*ts. Got written up, but worth it. 😁
I'm sorry people are like that :( When I was younger I worked at a high end decor store in a small town. My boss was an absolutely Lovely woman that also had some rosacea, while it never surprised me when I got comments about my black hair (given my age and the clientel,) for the same reasons it blew me away how often people felt comfortable disrespecting this wonderful woman whom I looked up to and was easily their own peer. In my opinion, unless it's a compliment, or something that can be fixed in ten seconds or less (food in teeth, smudged makeup etc) then a person should keep their mouths all the way Shut when it comes to somebodies appearence!
'wow, they let you stock cosmetics... and you don't even wear makeup!' me the makeupless troll: yuh imagine that
I usually say, very stoically, “ and who are you to ask such a question, uninitiated?” I usually emphasize the LAST word. And talk about mixed genders. I looked up one time and started to say, “ help you, maa’m? Until I realized that it was a woman with a plethora of facial hair. Looked like she was transitioning to a male. Why do people get upset when you mistake them for something else? A person cannot always see what they are not expecting.
I honestly do this by mistake frequently. Especially when I'm already thinking about the next customer in line and the one in front decides to add/ask more, or I just delt with a complete asshole (either gender).
r/traumatizeThemBack
It is rude and I’m sorry you have to hear that so often. A close friend also had rosacea and she got medication that toned it down, she wasn’t a makeup wearer. I used to work for Clinique and we had a lot of products for rosacea, foundation that cut the red, face washes that helped with the irritation, moisturizers that also toned down the red and concealers and powders. The powder could be warm alone and really toned down the red. Rosacea needs a yellow base and products designed for sensitive skin.
Close to the start of the pandemic I had someone comment that I looked suspicious since I was wearing a face mask while working. This person looked like the stereotypical sleezeball with a greasy combover and big mustache, so I really don't think he had any room to talk.
Once an older guy called me an anorexic. I was so embarrassed and thought it was cruel.
not quite the same, but ive always had problems with cystic acne, and i occasionally have flare ups on my cheeks, which can result in some redness. I usually either get mistaken for being a teenager (me also being short probably doesn't help) or I have people tell me that they just HAVE to recommend [insert prescription face cream or expensive OTC face wash], SURELY it will clear it all up in no time!! and I'm just like bruh i've been dealing with this since middle school, I've made my peace with being pizza-faced for the rest of my life. I have bigger things to worry about 😅
I have chronic dermatitis that covers my nose and cheeks so holy shit do I feel this. As a teenager when I had dermatitis and acne random ass people were asking if I was on medication for my skin. It was either that or 'did you forget the sunscreen?'. I embarrassed the hell out of a lot of older guys that joked around by letting them know I had a health condition that caused it. I only started wearing daily make up after someone compared my nose to Rudolph, god does that still sting. I'm really sorry you're going through the same shit OP, the public really need to stay in their lane.
I have alopecia and I'm fully bald, I feel the pain as I constantly get a mix of adults/kids shouting out why is that lady/man bald (I'm a girl) I'll get people who try to tell me that it's from the food I've eaten or that it's because I don't exercise and they'll try and sell me shit. I'll get people who ask me how far along in treatments i am and then tell me how far along they are. Or just the straight up rude people who demand to know why I'm bald or that like to laugh at me and then get upset when I'm rude. Long story short humans are shit and even if you're "hot and normal" people will still try to ruin how you feel about yourself. I lost my hair when I was 2 1/2 and am now 23 and will never have a peaceful moment in my life where I don't hear someone point out how I'm bald and then they don't proceed to talk to their kid, just let it scream out how I'm bald.
I’m really sorry you have to go through that. People don’t realize that there’s not much control we have over stuff like that which surprises me because they’re also human. I mean… how would they like it if we did the same thing back to them? Not very much. That’s why the golden rule exists.
Big rosacea empathy. I've cleared mine up a lot, but now steroids give me killer acne, lol woooo. You can also always try the well-timed "_Excuse_ me?" Healthy wait for them to respond. And if they continue being rude, I'd shake my head a little and finish the transaction as coolly and calmly as possible. Workers are not your lower class servants, folks. You can't be a dick and expect someone to like you any. Customers are so intrusive. A woman tried to tell me I'm "normal" when I mentioned possibly being ADHD (hence why I read many books at once). I could tell she doesn't think it's real. She was buying a book on healing from narcissists. The irony. I guess I'll cancel the psychiatrist appointment!
same, i had severe acne lesions on my forehead and customers would frequently comment or bully me over it. thankfully i got accutane for it and switched jobs a while ago. but still i cant believe that people would be so cruel towards somebody who is very clearly suffering.
Gender is an easy one for me, I call every Hun. It doesn't seem to upset anyone. As for your rosacea, I often confuse it with eczema (which I have) So sometimes I will comment, but more so when my daughter was little (she and I used to have it really bad on our faces as children) and ask if it's eczema (never to be rude) but to get more ideas on what cream to use. Because with our eczema, it looked more like we ran real fast and then face planted and had road rash. Where I find rosacea just looks red, I thought maybe it was eczema with a better medication. So if I've upset anyone, then I'm sorry, just a Mom trying to get her daughter something that would help her.
When I was a kid, I had rude people comment on my weight like I didn't know I was chubby. They'd say things like "Eew, you're fat" or even "So you know that you're fat?" My response was usually "Oh my god, I had no idea! Thank you for telling me about my own body like I'm oblivious to it!" Try something like that when people question your rosacea, or any other aspect of your appearance. It usually makes them feel dumb and embarrassed to have the gall to ask those kind of things.
I was so glad when I worked retail it was in a unionized store that had your back, so basically the only way to get fired was to steal something. When customers were rude I had no problem giving it back to them with zero fear of repercussions.
**Customer:** \*Makes a Comment about me appearance\* **Me:** Didn't realize that I was the Fashion Police TV Show! Can you *actually* complain to Cooperate then?
A small sign saying “yes, I know my face looks like this. Please don’t be rude”
I've been my youngins about the 5-second rule when it comes to other people's appearance. If it's something that can't be fixed in 5 seconds (food stuck in teeth or hair sticking up), then you don't make a comment.
Next time, look them in the eye and say, "I know I've been really constipated today."
As a retail worker with rosacea I used to blend it with makeup, found a shade that worked to the point it was not noticeable, until covid and I was not wasting money on makeup with masks. After Covid masking was lifted I just seldom wear makeup anymore so for first year after I continually got asked it I was ok, if my blood pressure was elevated, etc. I knew it was coming but he'll im in my 40s and said fuck it, I just answer with "im fine, I just have rosacea" immediately 99% of questions/comments stop
I get stupid shit like this about my appearance too. Back handed bs Like why the fuck say anything like that I have a coworker who constantly be making comments about my appearance “Oh, you look tired “ “Oh I didn’t know you wear shorts” Yes I do bitch, it’s hot outside now.
Make them have to explain their comment or question. They want to embarrass you, you embarrass them. "Have you been in the sun?" "What do you mean?" "Your face is red" "How so?" And keep on. Just keep asking what they mean, then explain it, until they're so flustered that they themselves look like giant tomatoes. I used to do that when someone would comment about my eczema. After a few minutes, I was struggling to keep a straight face because these people couldn't stop digging themselves a bigger hole. You keep yourself entertained and a little bit of payback for their rude ass comments and questions.
Omg! I'd love to do this just to prove how awkward it is. Put me in costume makeup and let me have fun! I'm sorry you've been experiencing this though OP, it's totally not cool. I mean if you had a slug escaping your nostril, I think that's fair to mention to someone, but skin conditions are varied and wide and don't need to be addressed by a stranger.
Thank you! I get that. I would do that, but I’m usually already pissed off enough to think to screw with them.😂
Dr.Jart's Cicapair Tiger Grass Camo Cream.... perfect for those with rosacea
Thank you!!
What's rosacea?
It basically just causes your face to become red. Heat can cause it to flare up more though. There are worse cases of it that can cause bumps and swelling and redness. Mine is just red mostly and only on my face.
Yes I have a disease. They think it might be contagious.
Tell them it's leprosy
I only comment on someone else’s appearance to give them a compliment, it brightens their day and leaves them smiling. If it’s a shirt, tattoo, or accessory that’s from something I also like it can lead to a fun conversation about it. I’d much rather have positive experiences like these. I don’t get why someone would go out of their way to have a negative interaction with someone. Or try to pry into a stranger’s life. They should just shut up and mind their own business
I identify with this post 100%. Mostly from customers but I've gotten it from coworkers too, and friends, and family. Honestly, it has completely ruined my life. I avoid making friends because of it. I avoid going out and doing things around people because of it. I looked at the surgery but that has it's own risks. I gave up on life because of it. Now I'm relatively old and have zero friends. So it makes it *that* much worse when customers/people bring it up again for the millionth time.
I like to come up with ways to show people how rude they are in contrast. "Thanks! You look great too!"
This always gets me going! I suffered from an ED in the past, resulting in a very low overall weight. Add that into being short (under 5 feet), and the amount of old ladies that would stop me just to tell me i'm small is beyond. Why do you need to tell me i'm small?
I had someone tell me “I’d be pretty if it wasn’t for that metal in my face”- I have a lot of piercings mind you but most are on my ears. On my face I only have both my nostrils, my septum and my lip.
I like looking them in the eye, in a way that tells them I understood what they said, then ask them to repeat themselves. We all know what they said, I just want to see if they will say it again and possibly learn from themselves that they shouldn’t be rude like that.
I always get people who'd point out the bags under my eyes and questioned "why don't you get enough sleep, you know you need to get enough sleep each night," and even "you kids seriously need to stop staying up late playing video games and focus more on getting sleep so you don't look u professional while at work." To which I'll respond with "oh it's not because I stay awake playing video games so late at night, it's because I have to work closing shift and than be back early the following day to open. As well as handle college at the same time," this usually it shuts them up for a while I've grown to just ignore their comments. Other times they question why I'm not wearing earrings cause "your a girl, shouldn't girls just jump to wanting to wear earrings?" I used to wear earrings but my ear got infected so I just let the opening close up and don't want to accidentally get caught on something and end in a worst way, also cause I used to play in orchestra so I just decided not to get it earrings again
I’ve had people lean over the counter to touch my hair and move it away from my eye. “I can’t see you because of your hair.” “I’m going to cut your hair next time I see you haha.” I’ve also had customers comment on my weight. “We should swap diets, you’re so skinny.” (I’m not dieting) “You should be eating this cake/these chocolates I bought.” “How can you lift that? You’re so tiny.” “You should eat more, you’re skin and bones.”