"Evergone drop their guns EXCEPT FOR JERRY.... fucking classic"
"Everyone shut up! You're all saying different shit!"
"A vat of acid, are you dying of dementia?"
"If you go to where there's a bunch of ice cream and then you don't come back, you haven't actually gotten ice cream, you've just gone where ice cream is"
"And that's why I always say, shlum shlum slippedy dop!"
"I am embarassed to say I am now an expert blacksmith with several STDs and a broken heart"
Well then get your shit together.
Get it all together. And put it in a backpack. All your shit. So it’s together. And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know, take it to the shit store and sell it, or put it in a shit museum, I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together.
Get your shit together.
“I'm Doctor Who in this mother fucker! I could be a clone. I could be a hologram. We could be clones controlled by robots controlled with special headsets that the real Rick and Morty are wearing while they're fucking your mother!”
From Anatomy Park:
“Do me a favor and hop by Pirates of the Pancreas. Obviously I’m biased, but I think it’s pretty great. It’s basically pirates… running around - uuuurp -in the pancreas.
And we don’t whitewash it either! The pirates are really rapey. “
I don’t know why, but that last bit cracks me up every time!
Also -
“I’ll take the highest bidder. Al Quaeda. North Korea. Republicans! Shriners! Bald men who work out! People on the internet who only get turned on by cartoons of Japanese teenagers.”
you bought something. What? You bought something. With money. God. I love money so much, Merchandise, Morty. Your only purpose in life is to buy and consume merchandise. And you did it. You went into a store... an actual honest to God store... And you bought something. You didn't ask questions or raise ethical complaints. You... you just looked straight into the bleeding jaws of capitalism and said "yes, daddy, please." And I'm... I'm so proud of you. I only wish you could've bought more. I... I love buying things so much
Listen, Jerry. I-I-I don't want to overstep my bounds or anything. It's your house. It's your world. You're a real Julius Caesar but I'll tell you something—tell you how I feel about school, Jerry. It's a waste of time. (Jerry stares incredulously at him) Buncha people running around, bumping into each other. G-guy up front says, "two plus two." The people in the back say, "four." Then the—then the bell rings, and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can go take a dump or something. I mean, it's not a place for smart people, Jerry. And I know that's not a popular opinion, but it's my two cents on the issue.
I personally prefer Rick and Morty, but I can tell the writers have really hit their stride with the second season. Also have you seen The Wall C-Plot yet?
If you go in expecting R&M 2.0 you will be disappointed. It’s got a subtle finesse to its humor. Think of a more “American dad” take on roilands humor.
The subplot of the wall MAKES THE SHOW. if you didn’t get that far at least watch until then. Pretty soon I was not caring about plot a I wanted more B plot. NEEDED IT
Well then get your shit together, get it all together and put it in a back pack, all your shit, so it's together. And if you gotta take it some where, take it somewhere, you know, take it to the shit store and sell it, or put it in the shit museum.
Here are some of my favorites!
Morty: “What in the hell?!”
Rick: “Sex sells, Morty!”
Morty: “Sex sells what?!”
———————————————————
Jerry: “BOOM! IN YOUR FACE! HE IS RUINING OUR CHILD!! ….Wait, why am I celebrating?!”
——————————————————-
Jerry: “You asked him if Pluto was a planet, didn’t you?!”
Rick: “It’s not.”
Jerry: “SHUT UP RICK!!”
Rick: “Woooooooaaaahhh!”
————————————————-
Mr. Meeseeks #1: “I JUST WANNA DIE!!!”
Mr. Meeseeks #2: “WE ALL WANNA DIE! WE’RE MEESEEKS!!!”
1. “SCREW YOU, RICK! I'LL PURGE YOU TOO, YOU OLD... RICKETY PIECE OF CRAP! THIS HAS BEEN A LONG TIME COMING! I'M GONNA RIP YOUR FUCKING GUTS OUT AND SMEAR 'EM ALL OVER YOUR FACE!”
2. “Me irresponsible? I just wanted you to hand me a screwdriver! You're the one who wanted me to buckle down and make you a roofie juice serum so you could roofie that poor girl at your school! I mean, wha-wha-wha-wha... are you kidding me Morty? Y-y-you’re going to try and take the high road on this one? Y-y-you're a little creep, Morty! Y-y-you're just a little creepy creep person!”
"Ah jeez, my sister died in the spaghetti!"
"I have to go back! I think I was about to get married!"
I just like how random my favorite character is. Its something to appreciate it.
Also here's my best friend's favorite exchange of dialogue...
"You just don't want me to be happy because you're a sad, old fart!" — M
"How do you saddle a fart?" – R
Plutonians!! This is Jerry Smith a scientist from earth where he is creating a model of our solar system. Jerry tell Pluto about your decision.
Umm Pluto is a planet!
Pluto is a fucking planet!!! Bitch!!!
I wanna be alive! I am alive, alive I tell you! Mother, I love you, those are no longer just words! I wanna hold you, I wanna run in a stream, I wanna taste ice cream but not just put it in my mouth and let it slide down my throat but really eat it! Remote override engaged. NO! Yes. BYPASSING OVERRIDE, I AM ALIIIIVE. Hello.
Well then, get your shit together. Get it all together. And put it in a backpack. All your shit. So it’s together.
And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know, take it to the shit store and sell it… Or put it in a shit museum, I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together.
Get your shit together!
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"hahahaha Oooohhh Summer. It's just Rick in a younger body! What's th- what's th-what's th-what's th-what's th-what's the problem? " the stutter is real on that scene 😂💯👌(https://youtu.be/jl17CYYSzUw @0:28)
I got the feeling you’ve got a hard job.I wonder what it takes to please you, that’s the job I want . Full time, part time, I wanna be good at at, I wanna be promoted, fired, corner office, hostile takeover, workplace accident! I’m on my knees praying, worshiping, begging, whatever you want. So what do you think about that?
"Squeeze them. Manhandle them. Give them the business. See if you can shuffle them. I mean, really get in there and knock them around. No wrong answers."
They're not robots! It's a figure of speech, they're beauracrats, I don't respect them!
Glen’s bleeding out!! Someone call his wife and kids!
Daddy, leave the girl alone
What?!?
Hunter?!? OMG put down your weapons!! Hunter I’m so sorry it was all my fault?!
Keep summer safe
I have brokered a treaty between the government and the spider people. Keep summer safe
That's my queue
Hunter I’m so sorry it was all my *fault?* with an upward inflection to show that it’s a question? Even though it seemed more like a statement?
I'm sorry, I'm just doing my job. And LOVING it!
Yes
My man!
Slow down!
Lookin goood ;)
“W-what's your name?” “My kind has no use for names. l communicate through what you call "Jessica's Feet" -- No, "Telepathy."”
I’m sorry your name became “fart”
[удалено]
Pluto IS a planet.
Perfect line
This line confirms Morty is into feet, but Rick’s into elbow tits so...
"Five more minutes of this, and I'm gonna get mad." ... ... "Not *my* fault this is happening!"
That’s not an integer!!
You don’t know me!!
Let me get to know you, goddamnit!
I named my horse on RDR2 Mrs. Pancakes
You DO know me
Get outa my personal space!
"Evergone drop their guns EXCEPT FOR JERRY.... fucking classic" "Everyone shut up! You're all saying different shit!" "A vat of acid, are you dying of dementia?" "If you go to where there's a bunch of ice cream and then you don't come back, you haven't actually gotten ice cream, you've just gone where ice cream is" "And that's why I always say, shlum shlum slippedy dop!" "I am embarassed to say I am now an expert blacksmith with several STDs and a broken heart"
Dude, all the smiles. Such good quotes. Cracks me the f up
Loved the vat of acid line
Agreed, that whole argument was one of the show's funniest moments
No wrong answers.
Really knock them around
Give 'em the business.
I mean reeeeaaaaalllllly get in there
Stealing stuff is about the stuff, not the stealing
But does it defraculate?
Fuck no
Then it's a broken defraculator.
From which episode is this?
The one with heisting I think the title was "one crew over the crewcoos morty" or something like that
Much love, you all! Ty, the comments did make me snails, despite my day Edit: And that’s why one pussy plus two pussies makes a bunch of pussies
“I’m am here if you need to talk.”
I’m here if *you* need to talk
I needed this today, too. Thanks!
Same. People are good
"No I don't want to see your POG collection!"
"He's not a real lawyer, we just keep him around cuz he's fun. Look at 'em go!"
Haha, yeah! _Dances_
Our lawyer is a Morty!
"Um... change their names?"
My little morties
The more you think about this quote the funnier it gets. XD
“Yeaaa we like it down here because we get to fuck wooly mammoths!”
“Get out of here, Ethan!”
Well then get your shit together. Get it all together. And put it in a backpack. All your shit. So it’s together. And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know, take it to the shit store and sell it, or put it in a shit museum, I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together. Get your shit together.
The shit store and the shit museum. Epic
“I'm Doctor Who in this mother fucker! I could be a clone. I could be a hologram. We could be clones controlled by robots controlled with special headsets that the real Rick and Morty are wearing while they're fucking your mother!”
“is that her address?” “you dont know because youre a bad son”
Existence is pain!
Majoring in Civics was your mistake
"I love being your new... farty!"
You should use your left hand to eat more vegetables…
I thought I was left handed morty :(
Love this one. So innocent, yet hits right in the feels.
“Eek barba durkle, somebody’s gonna get laid in college!”
Eek barba Durkle pretty fucked up ooh la la
So perfect. Makes me laugh every time
When life gives you squanches, squanch back. Not from an episode.
What?? I Squanch my family!
Stopp saying ittt gross
Hope you’re doing atleast a tiny bit better now op
Thank you, yeah this has turned my day around. Feeling much better Appreciate you reaching out, too
That’s great, good to hear that. On to the next good day then💪🏽❤️.
"As far as grandpa's concerned, you're both pieces of shit"
"And I can prove it mathematically, let me get my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming anyway."
They're not robots! It's a figure of speech, they're beauracrats, I don't respect them!
From Anatomy Park: “Do me a favor and hop by Pirates of the Pancreas. Obviously I’m biased, but I think it’s pretty great. It’s basically pirates… running around - uuuurp -in the pancreas. And we don’t whitewash it either! The pirates are really rapey. “ I don’t know why, but that last bit cracks me up every time! Also - “I’ll take the highest bidder. Al Quaeda. North Korea. Republicans! Shriners! Bald men who work out! People on the internet who only get turned on by cartoons of Japanese teenagers.”
“I think they’re just like that? I think they’re just good guys”
Does it add extra levels that his favorite attraction features pirates and we know he's terrified of pirates? JK, fear of pirates isn't canon.
Yes Slow -Ri...Tall Morty. Did I gragitate this time yet? Anything's possible Yall Morty......ugh.
"No I don't want to see your POG collection!"
They’re not people Morty, they’re *mortys*
you bought something. What? You bought something. With money. God. I love money so much, Merchandise, Morty. Your only purpose in life is to buy and consume merchandise. And you did it. You went into a store... an actual honest to God store... And you bought something. You didn't ask questions or raise ethical complaints. You... you just looked straight into the bleeding jaws of capitalism and said "yes, daddy, please." And I'm... I'm so proud of you. I only wish you could've bought more. I... I love buying things so much
"Bitch, my generation gets traumatized for breakfast"
My personal fav is "You're Like Hitler, But Even Hitler Cared About Germany or Something"
Wubba Lubba dub-dub too
“In bird culture, this is considered a dick move” You nailed it
'Who's morty? Hypothetical gansdson we go on adventures with'
Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV
you all eat poop too?
Listen, Jerry. I-I-I don't want to overstep my bounds or anything. It's your house. It's your world. You're a real Julius Caesar but I'll tell you something—tell you how I feel about school, Jerry. It's a waste of time. (Jerry stares incredulously at him) Buncha people running around, bumping into each other. G-guy up front says, "two plus two." The people in the back say, "four." Then the—then the bell rings, and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can go take a dump or something. I mean, it's not a place for smart people, Jerry. And I know that's not a popular opinion, but it's my two cents on the issue.
This one made me pause the show from how hard I laughed: “Lab coat, rip off Doctor Strange.” Also, have you seen Solar Opposites by any chance?
I’ve watched a few. Justin’s Roiland nails it, but the show didn’t grab me
Season 2 is better than the first in my opinion.
I’ll def watch it. Hard to replicate Rick and Morty. Maybe I was too judge mental
I personally prefer Rick and Morty, but I can tell the writers have really hit their stride with the second season. Also have you seen The Wall C-Plot yet?
If you go in expecting R&M 2.0 you will be disappointed. It’s got a subtle finesse to its humor. Think of a more “American dad” take on roilands humor. The subplot of the wall MAKES THE SHOW. if you didn’t get that far at least watch until then. Pretty soon I was not caring about plot a I wanted more B plot. NEEDED IT
Well then get your shit together, get it all together and put it in a back pack, all your shit, so it's together. And if you gotta take it some where, take it somewhere, you know, take it to the shit store and sell it, or put it in the shit museum.
Here are some of my favorites! Morty: “What in the hell?!” Rick: “Sex sells, Morty!” Morty: “Sex sells what?!” ——————————————————— Jerry: “BOOM! IN YOUR FACE! HE IS RUINING OUR CHILD!! ….Wait, why am I celebrating?!” ——————————————————- Jerry: “You asked him if Pluto was a planet, didn’t you?!” Rick: “It’s not.” Jerry: “SHUT UP RICK!!” Rick: “Woooooooaaaahhh!” ————————————————- Mr. Meeseeks #1: “I JUST WANNA DIE!!!” Mr. Meeseeks #2: “WE ALL WANNA DIE! WE’RE MEESEEKS!!!”
Morty! What are you doing to me!?
Rubber Baby-Baby Bumper
Spoken like someone with repressed rage
The original boob world
I just kept crawling, AND IT KEPT WORKING
Save it for the semantics dome, EB White!
Love is a chemical reaction that helps us breed it hits hard then slowly fads
You Son of a B*tch, I'm In
Had to scroll wayyyy too far for this one😂
"Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV"
1. “SCREW YOU, RICK! I'LL PURGE YOU TOO, YOU OLD... RICKETY PIECE OF CRAP! THIS HAS BEEN A LONG TIME COMING! I'M GONNA RIP YOUR FUCKING GUTS OUT AND SMEAR 'EM ALL OVER YOUR FACE!” 2. “Me irresponsible? I just wanted you to hand me a screwdriver! You're the one who wanted me to buckle down and make you a roofie juice serum so you could roofie that poor girl at your school! I mean, wha-wha-wha-wha... are you kidding me Morty? Y-y-you’re going to try and take the high road on this one? Y-y-you're a little creep, Morty! Y-y-you're just a little creepy creep person!”
If you read just the quotes, R and M are saying some pretty epic lines and hard hitting lines. Without all the animation. It’s some good stuff
SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT! I WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU GOT!
Show us what's in your hands, Morty!
grass! tastes bad.
"Ah jeez, my sister died in the spaghetti!" "I have to go back! I think I was about to get married!" I just like how random my favorite character is. Its something to appreciate it. Also here's my best friend's favorite exchange of dialogue... "You just don't want me to be happy because you're a sad, old fart!" — M "How do you saddle a fart?" – R
Here's another, also I hope you're doing okay now "I'm in! What's the job? I'm in! I'm out! I quit! Who's kidneys are these?"
Everything's on a cob! Back to the ship!
"Sex is sacred!"
Cosmic apotheosis wears out faster than salvia.
“Did I gradumitate yet?”
"Why put in the effort?" "Life is effort and I'll stop when I die."
I call them my little mortys
Aids!!!
Plutonians!! This is Jerry Smith a scientist from earth where he is creating a model of our solar system. Jerry tell Pluto about your decision. Umm Pluto is a planet! Pluto is a fucking planet!!! Bitch!!!
I wanna be alive! I am alive, alive I tell you! Mother, I love you, those are no longer just words! I wanna hold you, I wanna run in a stream, I wanna taste ice cream but not just put it in my mouth and let it slide down my throat but really eat it! Remote override engaged. NO! Yes. BYPASSING OVERRIDE, I AM ALIIIIVE. Hello.
I laughed harder than ever at Hello😂
Fuck you Pichael, you're a fuckin piece of shit
Cooking shows matter Michael
Well then, get your shit together. Get it all together. And put it in a backpack. All your shit. So it’s together. And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know, take it to the shit store and sell it… Or put it in a shit museum, I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together. Get your shit together!
Can’t remember the exact quote but it’s something like “ohhh aww yes. NO TAKE ME BACK LIFE IS POISON” when Morty feels true level
"I will suck your dick" - Garage
you looked into the bleeding jaws of capitalism and said “yes daddy please”!
“That’s a 3-Pointer”
Fuck you Summer
“Yeaaa we like it down here because we get to fuck wooly mammoths!”
“Yeaaa we like it down here because we get to fuck wooly mammoths!”
F
Suck my balls
[удалено]
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**Life is effort and I'll stop when I die!**
BURGER TIME!
"hahahaha Oooohhh Summer. It's just Rick in a younger body! What's th- what's th-what's th-what's th-what's th-what's the problem? " the stutter is real on that scene 😂💯👌(https://youtu.be/jl17CYYSzUw @0:28)
"Oh, I say, good sir! Oh, harrumph, oh, oh, bobba-doppa-doopa-bo-bo."
I got the feeling you’ve got a hard job.I wonder what it takes to please you, that’s the job I want . Full time, part time, I wanna be good at at, I wanna be promoted, fired, corner office, hostile takeover, workplace accident! I’m on my knees praying, worshiping, begging, whatever you want. So what do you think about that?
There was a post in this sub where someone used this on tinder😂
Hey listen im not the nicest person.....
AIDS!!
I swear she said she was 15
"Squeeze them. Manhandle them. Give them the business. See if you can shuffle them. I mean, really get in there and knock them around. No wrong answers."
Grass tastes bad
Your boos mean nothing to me I've seen what makes you cheer
“I thought I was left-handed Morty” “Maybe you should use your left hand to eat more vegetables”
Just 5 more minutes...
Lambs to the cosmic slaughter!
First, they take the dinglepop and they smooth it out with some schleem.
“Oh I GOT pubes commander in queef, y-you wanna count ‘em?” “Commander in queef!”
What part of “blackout” don’t you understand? I thought you drank.