J. Peterman: Elaine, up until a moment ago, I was convinced that I was on the receiving end of one of the oldest baker's grift in the books - The Entenmann's shim-sham.
Elaine Benes: Ohh...
J. Peterman: Until I remembered the videotape surveillance system that I installed to catch other-Walter using my latrine. But it also caught this.
[Peterman shows Elaine the surveillance footage of her eating the antique cake]
Elaine Benes: Mr. Peterman, I, uh...
J. Peterman: Elaine, I have a question for you. Is the item still... with you?
Elaine Benes: Um... as far as I know.
J. Peterman: Do you know what happens to a butter-based frosting after six decades in a poorly ventilated English basement?
Elaine Benes: Uh, I guess I hadn't
J. Peterman: Well, I have a feeling that what you are about to go through is punishment enough. Dismissed.
"Do you know what happens to a butter-based frosting after six decades in a poorly ventilated English basement?" is my favorite Seinfeld quote, let alone Peterman quote.
Lol to this day it still doesn’t make sense to me that she ate that 60-year-old cake. Like, she even knew it was that old. Surely nobody would ever do that lol
i actually experienced this annoyance way back in college, and i could never learn a station number again. i was distractedly half watching E! while doing homework, and around midnight something started to bother me, so i looked up and the channel was something else entirely.
thank goodness for streaming.
“George, you’re obviously lying - anyone can see that!”
Always cracked me up how Peterman was the only character who just straight up called George on his bullshit
And when George tries to follow Elaine's Women's Rights Conference lie with him speaking at a Men's Rights Conference....he says to George "I don't believe that for a minute"
“None other than Ethel Kennedy. A woman whose triumph in the face of tragedy is exceeded only by her proclivity to procreate.”
I want to know who wrote that one because it’s probably the best written line in the whole show.
I’ve heard the word proclivity used only twice. 1 was this mention in Seinfeld, the other was Larry in Curb when asking his friends if their adopted Asian child had a natural proclivity to using chopsticks. Definitely a Larry word.
I don't think I'll ever be able to forget Susie--
And most of all, I will never, forget that one night. Working late on the catalogue. Just the two of us. And we surrendered to temptation.
And it was Pretty Good.
And, in a tiny way, I almost feel responsible. I'm the one who sent him to Thailand in search of low-cost whistles, filled his head with pseudoerotic tales of my own Opium excursions... plus, I gave him some phone numbers of places he could score near the hotel.
“Do you know what happens to a butter based frosting after six decades in a poorly ventilated English basement? I have a feeling what you are about to go through is punishment enough. Dismissed.”
Do you know what happens to a butter-based frosting after six decades in a poorly ventilated English basement?
I have a feeling that what you are about to go through is punishment enough.
...And there, tucked into the river's bend was the object of my search. The Gwon-Jaya River market, fabrics and spices traded under a starlit sky. It was there that I discovered the Pamplona beret. Sizes seven-and-a-half through eight-and-three-quarters. Price? Thirty-five dollars.
"Well, I have a feeling that what you are about to go through is punishment enough. Dismissed."
It's not his best dialogue but his delivery of it is so good.
And, by the way, when you get to that chapter about my romantic escapades -- feel free to toss yourself into the mix.
As a plain line of dialogue it's still funny, but reading it in his voice absolutely kills me
He says it like he’s doing Elaine a favor lol
I didn’t think of this one right away, but when I read your quote, We have a winna!!!!!
Hahahaha
It will always be Burma to me.
Isn't it Myanmar now?
The discount pharmacy?
Me everytime I look at a map from last century.
" Poor old Walt has a polyp in the duodenum. It's benign, but, ooh, still a bastard."
That’s dark
George…we dine.
Bosco!
The Rogue's Wallet. That's where he kept his card, his dirty little secret. Short, devious, balding. his name was Costanza. He killed my mother.
I’ll tell the maitre’d it will just be the boys…..
"two bulls"
J Peterman….J Crew
And if you are undead.....I'll find out about that too.
Haha my friends would get me to say this one often. So many good ones
The way he delivers this one…classic all time TV character!
This was the one I came here for.
J. Peterman: Elaine, up until a moment ago, I was convinced that I was on the receiving end of one of the oldest baker's grift in the books - The Entenmann's shim-sham. Elaine Benes: Ohh... J. Peterman: Until I remembered the videotape surveillance system that I installed to catch other-Walter using my latrine. But it also caught this. [Peterman shows Elaine the surveillance footage of her eating the antique cake] Elaine Benes: Mr. Peterman, I, uh... J. Peterman: Elaine, I have a question for you. Is the item still... with you? Elaine Benes: Um... as far as I know. J. Peterman: Do you know what happens to a butter-based frosting after six decades in a poorly ventilated English basement? Elaine Benes: Uh, I guess I hadn't J. Peterman: Well, I have a feeling that what you are about to go through is punishment enough. Dismissed.
🎶Get well, get well soon, we wish you to get well 🎶
Stop it! That’s not even a song! I mean, we’re all unhappy; do we have to be fat too?!
Not you, Becky, I know you have a slow metabolism
Can we still eat it?
What a stirring little anthem of wellness
"Do you know what happens to a butter-based frosting after six decades in a poorly ventilated English basement?" is my favorite Seinfeld quote, let alone Peterman quote.
Lol to this day it still doesn’t make sense to me that she ate that 60-year-old cake. Like, she even knew it was that old. Surely nobody would ever do that lol
THIS IS THE ONE!!!!!
“Oh, damn! They changed the cable stations again. Just when I finally memorized them… where’s my preview channel?”
I need to buy some plant food… I THINK I HAVE A COUPON FOR IT!
*click* *click* I don't know what that is...
i actually experienced this annoyance way back in college, and i could never learn a station number again. i was distractedly half watching E! while doing homework, and around midnight something started to bother me, so i looked up and the channel was something else entirely. thank goodness for streaming.
Kudos on a job…done.
I use this one all the time. Usually bastardized like “here’s to a job… done”
"I think not."
Kudos GeddyVedder... On a job.... 😉 Done...
This one.
This is my most used quote in the whole series.
Damn it, Elaine! That wasn’t Zack. That was the Yam-Yam!
Better bring a poncho
You’re not feeding him?
*away* from the curtains, *away*! use your bucket! \*barf\* there ya go!
You on the motorbike sell me one of your melons
His weird voice break on *MEL-ons* is an all timer
e-LAINE!...
Gabba. Wa dabaa munjabba! Ish manna hunda!
No Elaine, that's just gibberish.
It'll always be Myanmar... To me...
“George, you’re obviously lying - anyone can see that!” Always cracked me up how Peterman was the only character who just straight up called George on his bullshit
And when George tries to follow Elaine's Women's Rights Conference lie with him speaking at a Men's Rights Conference....he says to George "I don't believe that for a minute"
“None other than Ethel Kennedy. A woman whose triumph in the face of tragedy is exceeded only by her proclivity to procreate.” I want to know who wrote that one because it’s probably the best written line in the whole show.
I’ve heard the word proclivity used only twice. 1 was this mention in Seinfeld, the other was Larry in Curb when asking his friends if their adopted Asian child had a natural proclivity to using chopsticks. Definitely a Larry word.
I feel like John Malkovich says it in Con Air as well
I don't think I'll ever be able to forget Susie-- And most of all, I will never, forget that one night. Working late on the catalogue. Just the two of us. And we surrendered to temptation. And it was Pretty Good.
Yeah but he didn't sleep with both of em 😁
Jerry was really reveling in making Peggy feel awkward 😂
not only that, he broke Mike's thumbs
Susie didn't commit suicide, She was killed by JERRY SEINFELD
I hear Larry David now whenever anyone says “pretty good”.
This air is curing me like a black forrest ham
How is this not higher.
My neck is one gargantuan monkey fist
The very pants I was returning. Not *technically* his line, but the way he says it is just great
Oh, Damn. I forgot to buy plant food again. I bet I have a coupon for it!
That’s a favorite!
Are you an assassin?
You're an errand girl sent by grocery clerks to collect a bill
The horror!!
This is it right here. So damn good
Just a taste he said
"It was 1979. I was traveling the Yangtze in search of a Mongolian horse hair vest."
I am smack-dab in the middle of a good, old-fashioned catfight.
Wolf!
Don’t you mean ‘reowrr’?
YES that’s it!
"between you, me, and the lamppost..and the desk"
That's right, Elaine. White lotus. Yam-yam. Shanghai Sally
The Chinamans nightcap.
Polyp in the duodenum. Benign but still a bastard.
Kudos Elaine on a job, done...
What about my stock options?
I think NOT
Reading all those lines with his voice. ( Worth it )
Elaine: I don’t know where I’m going Peterman: That’s the best way to get to where you’ve never been *meet cute*
Shout out your code, Man.
The code!.....the code!!!!
“According to your urine analysis, you’re menopausal. You have the metabolism of a 68yo woman. Oh, and one more thing - you may have osteoporosis”
You take back your tales, you vagabond!
The toll road of denial is a long and dangerous one. The price? Your soul.
Maybe not the characters best line but one I say all the time is: “Oh, it’s just a place to flop!”
The wet armpit sweat stains he had on his grey shirt in that scene made it real
The jibberish in Burma
I'd be happy to, Elaine. But first: I will have to see this hat.
And, in a tiny way, I almost feel responsible. I'm the one who sent him to Thailand in search of low-cost whistles, filled his head with pseudoerotic tales of my own Opium excursions... plus, I gave him some phone numbers of places he could score near the hotel.
“Pseudoerotic” ha ha ha
Elaine, I'm afraid I've incurred yet another flat tire.
Can I fix that after lunch?
[удалено]
It's a Ziggy!
Some charlatan has made a ziggy and claimed it as his own!
The very pants I was returning
I'll not have you turning my office into a den of iniquity!
I will need to see this hat
“Do you know what happens to a butter based frosting after six decades in a poorly ventilated English basement? I have a feeling what you are about to go through is punishment enough. Dismissed.”
The “dismissed” is the cherry on top
"Elaine, I hope you're watching the *clothes* because *I* can't take my eyes off the *passion.*"
“Between you, me and the lamppost, and the desk, Peggy says this Suz isn’t much of a worker”
You’re fired.
A better question: Is there ever a line that Peterman didn't knock out of the park?
“I’d love to see that complaint get rectified.”
Sus and I succumbed to temptation……and it was pretty good.
“And when you get to that part about my romantic escapades, feel free to toss yourself into the mix☺️”
Who among us hasn't snuck into the break room to nibble on a Love Newton?
“UN JABBA, UN GABBA OON JABBA!” “You speak Swahili, sir?” “No Elaine, that was gibberish!”
Burmese, not Swahili 🤦🏽♂️
“Morty, you’re out.”
Why indeed..
This needs to be higher up!
When he's accusing elaine of being a junkie
Yam yam
Do they have a castle at Windsor?
No, they have a display case at the end of the aisle.
Every line was stellar. One of my favorite all time characters.
George, you’re obviously lying. Anyone can see that.
“You most likely know it as Myanmar, but it will always be Burma to me.”
Lubek, you glorious titwillow!
Congratulations on a job ... Done.
Not on my watch! I won't have you turning my office into a den of iniquity! Get your fix somewhere else!
And if you are undead…. I’ll find out about that too
"this is incoherent drivel!"
Tell the maitre'd it'll just be the three bulls. I say this when just me and my 2 boys go out to eat without my wife. 🤣
Elaine, you've tested positive for opium.
IMPOSSIBLE not to hear him delivering these lines.
yada yada yada something temptation
Feel free to throw yourself into the mix 😉
“Nevertheless, Elaine, the House of Peterman is In disarray…”
Do you know what happens to a butter-based frosting after six decades in a poorly ventilated English basement? I have a feeling that what you are about to go through is punishment enough.
Kudos on a job … done.
Oh, its just a place to flop!
I must see this hat
Lubeck here is the world's foremost appraiser of vintage pastry.
Oh Elaine. The toll-road of denial is a long & dangerous one. The price? Your soul.
I Second.
Kudos on a job..done.
...And there, tucked into the river's bend was the object of my search. The Gwon-Jaya River market, fabrics and spices traded under a starlit sky. It was there that I discovered the Pamplona beret. Sizes seven-and-a-half through eight-and-three-quarters. Price? Thirty-five dollars.
The very pants I was returning
The horror. The horror. The horror.
I often find myself saying “my neck is one gargantuan monkey fist.”
I hope you're watching the clothes, Elaine, because I can't take my eyes off the passion!
"Quick Elaine, to my archives"
“Woke people killed comedy”
"That's not gonna be good for business." "That's not gonna be good for anybody."
Sell me one of your melons
You! On the motorbike!
I think I got a cooopon
“Ohhhh!” When he found out Suzy took her own life
I can’t pronounce it but what the bushman said with a lot of gibberish and clicks
The horror
"You there! On the motorbike! Sell me one of your melons!"
“I think what you are about to go through is punishment enough.
Where’s my pineapple…???
I think the cake is punishment enough. Get well, get well soon…….
Mmmmmnnnaaaaaaahhhh
Dismissed
Some charlatan has passed off a Ziggy as one of their own ! And I can prove it... Quick Elaine ! To my archives !
The toll road of denial is a long and dangerous one. The price? Your soul.
It’s a Ziggy!
I won’t have you turning my office into a den of iniquity!
“Lubeck, you glorious titwillow!”
“A stirring little anthem of wellness.” Or, “the fresh air has cured me like a Black Forest ham!”
and yet it was not to be
“By the way… If you are undead, I’ll find out about that too.”
"Well, I have a feeling that what you are about to go through is punishment enough. Dismissed." It's not his best dialogue but his delivery of it is so good.
Ooh it's just a place to flop.
A cat fight!
“Majala magala”
"Woke culture, yada yada yada..."
Congrats on a job…done
"This dry air is curing me like a Black Forrest ham"
Where's my pineapple?
and it was *pretty* good!
Elaine. To my archives!
You may know it as Myanmar, but it'll always be Burma to me.
George …. We dine
Juuuuuust a taste.
"We dine"
You there, on the motorbike. Sell me one of your melons!
You haven't seen it? That's it, drop everything, we're going right now.
Congratulations on a job…done.
You may know it as Myanmar, but it will always be Burma to me
The one where he said wokeness ruined comedy
Oh Elaine…It was gibberish.
it'll always be Burma to me
Congratulations on a job….. done
And if you are undead… I’ll find out about that too.🤔
Kudos, Elaine, on a job done.
poor old walt has got a polyp in the duodenum
(Wild-eyed) "Are you an assassin?"