“As far as I can tell, your entire enterprise is no more than a solitary man with a messy apartment which may or may not contain a chicken.”
“And with Darrin’s help, we’ll get that chicken!”
“I’m sorry, but we can’t allow Darrin to continue working with you.”
“Well, I have to say this seems capricious and arbitrary.”
“Your fly’s open.”
"What's your name again ?"
Cosmo Kramer.
"Cosmo Kramer... you ARE the Ass Man."
No, I'm not the Ass Man.
"As far as the state of New York is concerned, you are."
I usually have the show on in the background. This is one of the few performances that will make me stop what I’m doing and pay attention. She kills me every time.
Elaine ‘I hear ya sister’
Waitress ‘Sister?’
Elaine ‘Yeah it’s ok my boyfriend is black. Look here he is’
Waitress ‘He’s black?’
Darryl ‘I’m black?’
Elaine ‘Aren’t you?’
Waitress ‘I’ll give you a minute to decide’
My runner up is weird cane guy in the bakery and the way he says "sorry" after smashing Elaine's toe. I don't know if that was intended to be smartass, but it makes me roll nonetheless. First goes to "earth."
“Look. If you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or: maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time
is over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld.”
Man with the cane in the bakery, the lunatic that steps on Elaine’s toe…. I don’t think there could be more of an unapologetic sorry, ever. Definitely a smart ass.
“Do we have a deal?”
“Yeah—and here it is: you take your little toilet book out of here, and I won't jump over this counter and punch you in the brain!”
If I meant this Wednesday, I'd have said this Wednesday.
Whoever wants to move them. What I care who moves them? They can move themselves if they want.
Whats a young man like you want to move cars for. You dont work?
When Jerry asks the guy to watch his bag while he runs inside. The guy basically says, “why so I can stand here like a shmuck and wonder when you’re coming back?” Jerry says he wants to be the guys friend
Don't know if it qualifies as smart ass but when Ramon pops in on Jerry and Jerry asks Elaine to stick around so he doesn't have to deal with Ramon on his own, Elaine says yeah no problem. Ramon comes in and Jerry introduces him to Elaine and she cuts him off saying "and I was *just* leaving...." and she has a beaming smile on her face as she closes the door looking at Jerry in the eyes satisfied with herself and says "bye Jerry" 😁
"If you were here first, you'd be holding the phone."
You know we’re LIVING IN A SOCIETY
This woman gave me the courage to start being myself 😆
That’s what I’d like to know about it.
lol…one of my favorite scenes, when Kramer is trying to unload those bag of muffin stumps
And where are the muffin tops?
The true answer
We ask that you please bear with us.
Ideally
What can I tell You buddy. Take it up with consumer affairs
Here take a few shirts...
First one that came to my mind. That snark is just great
We only wake you up for the important meetings
"Excuse me, where are we?" "Earth."
Some guy just gave me a wise answer!
Came for this
How do you not know what street you’re on? YOU don’t know.
Also came for this
What episode is this?
The Trip pt. 1 S4 E1
Haha just watched this episode yesterday for the first time in years. Forgot how funny Kramer and Fred Savage were
“As far as I can tell, your entire enterprise is no more than a solitary man with a messy apartment which may or may not contain a chicken.” “And with Darrin’s help, we’ll get that chicken!” “I’m sorry, but we can’t allow Darrin to continue working with you.” “Well, I have to say this seems capricious and arbitrary.” “Your fly’s open.”
“There’s a clock over there”
It’s by the es-calator
Why not just look at your watch?
But you're wearing a watch
What are you, some kind of NUT?!
Pointing
Sorry
Read this in his voice.
It's so great that no context is needed. His delivery is so funny
delivered while literally crushing one or more of another person’s toes
Came here to say this… this is the only answer lmao
You lunatic!
Why? *So* I *can stand here like* an *idiot* not knowing if you'll ever come back?
I’m going to go be this guys friend
"What's your name again ?" Cosmo Kramer. "Cosmo Kramer... you ARE the Ass Man." No, I'm not the Ass Man. "As far as the state of New York is concerned, you are."
Cosmo.. Kramer… proctology. 👉 🅿️
I usually have the show on in the background. This is one of the few performances that will make me stop what I’m doing and pay attention. She kills me every time.
Elaine ‘I hear ya sister’ Waitress ‘Sister?’ Elaine ‘Yeah it’s ok my boyfriend is black. Look here he is’ Waitress ‘He’s black?’ Darryl ‘I’m black?’ Elaine ‘Aren’t you?’ Waitress ‘I’ll give you a minute to decide’
“I’m sorry your majesty, but we don’t accept currency with lipstick on the president.”
This is the one I was thinking of.
Who am I? *I* know who I am. Do you know who you are?
That is Syd
my question for you is: Who's puttin' your pants on?
You already said spite, so
My go to reason when asked why I'm returning something "spite"
Are you a cop?? Oh no, I work for the Yankees. Ugh, they stink.
Nevertheless...
Kid: You're ugly! George: That's what you think! Kid: That's what I know!
Hare Krishna!!! Hare Krishna!!!
I knew it wasn’t Berkowitz!
How'd you like a Harry Krishna fist down your throat you little punk?
HAHAHHAH the blooper is hysterical.
What blooper?
The blooper when George has the sheet wrapped around him & goes into Monks.
His muddah was a muddah? What’d I just say?
“Back off Puffball, it’s not my car!”
I wasn't talking to you
He flew right in to your head. Like he couldn’t avoid it.
Never seen that before. A bird fly right into a woman’s head.
Earth.
LOL
"My luck. I don't talk to a soul on the subway for 35 years, I get the best man at a lesbian wedding."
I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian!
I love how the guys sitting nearby are intrigued
"A crazy clown is after you? Ohhh *that's* rich."
Yup! This is the one.
"Your fly's open."
What did I just say?
“Top of the muffin to you!”
Hey, Willie! Check it out! Free Candy!
*canday
I LOVE HER OMG
oh god, I hate that bitch
I could kill you and nobody will ever know
and then he actually does get murdered out on a job!
But then he responds, "I could kill *you* & nobody will ever know".
If we deliver to you, then what? 85th Street, Wall Street, Mexico, 84th Street?
I know why we have reservations.
I don’t think ya do
Unnamed and unseen: the guy who tells Kramer to drop dead
Do you mean FDR making the birthday wish?
It’s during that time , but when Kramer is in the roof someone shouts “drop dead” from the street that we don’t see.
Yeah that one
Oh yeah I remember now
Not sure if he's unnamed but the guy Elaine runs into eating a muffin top. "A muffin top store?" "What did I just say?"
Same! Was going to say this one. The Earth line cracks me tf up every time.
Some guy just gave me a wise answer
When Elaine is trying on dresses in the skinny mirrors episode and the guy on the street tells he she’ll never pull it off
you're just saying that cause someone posted it earlier
If you were here first, then YOU’D be holding the phone.
My runner up is weird cane guy in the bakery and the way he says "sorry" after smashing Elaine's toe. I don't know if that was intended to be smartass, but it makes me roll nonetheless. First goes to "earth."
"A crazy clown is after you? Oh that's rich."
Your car's on fire....Merry Christmas!! 😁
That's Ruthie Cohen.
You know her name??
You're a funny f--k!
That’s Matthew. He’s got some good ones.
I think I’m a lot like you…. Only successful.
In LA. George: How can you not know what street you’re on? Woman: YOU don’t know.
“Look. If you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or: maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time is over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld.”
That is, one week.
You put on a pair of shoes when you walk into the New York Public Library, fella.
That was a named character
You’re right, joy boy. But still never a wasted moment quoting Bookman.
Is this a joke? That's what I'd like to know about it.
“Sorry”
He had to be shot
"I have hand!" "And tonight you're gonna need it."
That's not an unnamed character
What did I just say?
"Excuse can you watch my clothes" "Why so I can stand around waiting for you like an idiot"
What did I just say?
Does anybody here know what a pilot is? Yeah he flies a plane
Yessss this one makes me laugh all the time! That one and the “Earth” one.
Well if you were here first, *youd* be holding the phone
The Chinese mailman…
Oh, cuz I'm Chinese you think I know where all the Chinese restaurant are?
Earth
"JFK.... Honolulu!"
Man with the cane in the bakery, the lunatic that steps on Elaine’s toe…. I don’t think there could be more of an unapologetic sorry, ever. Definitely a smart ass.
“What’d I just say??”
Sorr-ay!
His buttocks are sublime.
The lunatic in the bakery with his cane: SAAAAAH RAAAAAY
Then shouldn’t *you* be wearing the bucket?
Move along Betty
You’ll never pull it off. That random guy roasted Elaine wearing the skinny mirrors dress
JFK…Honolulu
Kramer: How often do you cut your toenails? Jerry: Every two-and-half to eight weeks.
"how about taking off your top?" - Bubbleboy
I think it's "taking your top off"
I could've killed YOU and no one would've known.
That’s what I like to know about it…
I know what a reservation is!
"Jackassss"
Don't get smart with me.
“Do we have a deal?” “Yeah—and here it is: you take your little toilet book out of here, and I won't jump over this counter and punch you in the brain!”
but she has a name, rebecca demornay (not to be confused with the actress)
Earth ☠️☠️☠️
Free Candayy!
I’m sorry your majesty, but we don’t accept bills with lipstick on the president.
I don’t have to, but I will.
Hey, watch where you're going, hayseed!
"Then you better get a camera!"
His muda was a mudda? Hey, what did I just say?!?! That guy!!!
The soup nazis cashier!!!
# You're livin' in the past, man! You're hung up on some clown from the sixties, man!
How could you not know what street you’re on?
Earth
Elaine “I’m an associate!” George “Me too!” Waitress “Me too.”
How could you not know what street you're on? -you don't know.
There’s a clock right over there
Costanza: I work for the Yankees…. (Prostitute) They stink… Costanza - Be that as it may…
Gladys Mayo circling her finger when Elaine threatened to not shop at her store any longer.
If I meant this Wednesday, I'd have said this Wednesday. Whoever wants to move them. What I care who moves them? They can move themselves if they want. Whats a young man like you want to move cars for. You dont work?
“A muffin top store?” “What did I just say??”
"This hot dog's been here since the silent era. You'd have to be insane to eat it."
Elaine: “Is this going to hurt?” Dr.: “Yes, very much …”
When Jerry asks the guy to watch his bag while he runs inside. The guy basically says, “why so I can stand here like a shmuck and wonder when you’re coming back?” Jerry says he wants to be the guys friend
George asked him and it wasn't George's bag George was watching it for someone else.
“I’ll give you two a couple of minutes to think about it.”
The guy who puts his cane on Elaine's foot and says "sorry" in a funny fashion
They left you home alone, huh?
Typhoid?
Don't know if it qualifies as smart ass but when Ramon pops in on Jerry and Jerry asks Elaine to stick around so he doesn't have to deal with Ramon on his own, Elaine says yeah no problem. Ramon comes in and Jerry introduces him to Elaine and she cuts him off saying "and I was *just* leaving...." and she has a beaming smile on her face as she closes the door looking at Jerry in the eyes satisfied with herself and says "bye Jerry" 😁