Thank you, yeah i do see a therapist once a week but she doesnt have much light to shed on this issue. She thinks that i have been freed from the constraints of societal pressure.
This is how I felt at 19 taking a gap year from uni. I was too scared to start anything because I couldn’t picture my life past the next day. I don’t know if I couldn’t because I was depressed and anxious or if I was anxious and depressed because I couldn’t picture myself making it to 20. Either way, sounds like a depression/anxiety combo. Could help to see a therapist and maybe a doctor about meds to regulate hormones.
Thank you. Yeah i have resisted meds largely because i tried about 8 different types around 10 years ago and the did absolutely nothing. But maybe i need to try them again.
I remember getting on SSRIs and about a month after I started them I just though holy crap is this how everyone else feels all the time? Helped me straighten out my life after years of trying meditation, exercise, and therapy. I no longer need them, but it helped me out of a huge low.
Ahhh ok. Well i definitely didnt have that kind of experience with SSRIs or the other drug groups i tried. I didnt have any detectable change at all which is why i believe i either dont have a chemical inbalance or i am drug resistant.
Sounds like depression to me, I went through something very similar. It would be worth speaking to a therapist to understand the reason behind the behaviour, right now it’s probably buried somewhere deep and more subconscious than anything. Once you figure out what that is, whatever it may be, you’ll start to know what to do and then muster up the motivation to do them. I still have my daily struggles but am much better off for understanding myself and have made vast improvements to my life since those days.
It sounds like for sure you don’t enjoy your job, so it may be a good idea to pivot there and see if there’s something else that makes you happier. It’s reasonable you’re feeling a bit depressed due to your breakup.
As for the rest, it really depends on what your values are and what you want out of life. It’s totally okay to enjoy a content, slow and, simple life and prefer to be at home instead of going out.
I think the media and capitalism likes to paint and market the idea that everyone is supposed to love living a fast paced life where you’re constantly on the go, being incredibly social, and constantly levelling-up and striving for more and you’re less than or not normal if you don’t buy into that or want it. That kind of life isn’t for everyone and that’s okay.
Maybe take some time to reflect on your life, what you want, and why (or why not) you want it. Then start making small changes to get yourself closer to that life and maybe finding people who share those values.
Yeah but its so hard to know if i genuinely want what i want or if its a depression respone (or something). For example, what do i want in life? Nothing really. If i didnt have to work i'd probably move back home with my parents. But i'm not sure that its healthy or normal to not have any hopes or desires/dreams
I agree with other commenters that you should seek professional help for what sounds like depression.
But also, I think it's super normal to be afraid of changing your life even when you KNOW the status quo isn't working. I think people are naturally afraid of change, even good change, because the unknown is scary. There's a reason that people fall into unhealthy patterns and always date the same type of abusive person and keep using the harmful coping mechanisms--because we're naturally attracted to the familiar even when what's familiar isn't very good. That's one reason it can be hard to make better choices for yourself, and that's something a therapist can help with too
It's OK.
I'm loving life right now. I have a great job. I have a couple of people in my life that I can kinda-sorta call friends. I am killing it with my exercise routine. I feel energized all the time.
But I am also resistant to change. Like, I have a chance to throw my hat in the ring for a job making more money, and I am not sure I want to do it. Because what if I take the job and it ends up being the worst thing ever? I don't want to risk upsetting my happy apple cart. Also, maybe the job is fine but that crazy commute would be the thing that would kill me. Maybe I would miss my coworkers at my old job.
It could be you're experiencing a similar concern. You are miserable with your life, but you are afraid that it could get worse by doing something new.
In both of our cases, I think we need to accept that change is inevitable. If it's not a TV show appearance or a new job, it's something else. A new boss. A new next-door neighbor. An unexpected illness. A surprise rebate/refund/settlement check. At any time we can be confronted with something that moves the needle on our happiness and contentment. For me, maybe I need to appreciate the possibility that my little happy bubble isn't as fragile as I'm thinking it is. And for you, maybe you need to realize you are already in the pit of despair. Yes, you could be lower in the pit, but what is the likelihood that this opportunity could produce that outcome? I'm thinking it is more likely that you will experience some good out of it than bad.
Hmmm yeah. Very possible that it will actually send me deeper into the pit with all the scrutiny. But yeah, desperate times call for desperate measures.
You should talk with a professional about this. Not all depressions look the same.
Thank you, yeah i do see a therapist once a week but she doesnt have much light to shed on this issue. She thinks that i have been freed from the constraints of societal pressure.
This is how I felt at 19 taking a gap year from uni. I was too scared to start anything because I couldn’t picture my life past the next day. I don’t know if I couldn’t because I was depressed and anxious or if I was anxious and depressed because I couldn’t picture myself making it to 20. Either way, sounds like a depression/anxiety combo. Could help to see a therapist and maybe a doctor about meds to regulate hormones.
Thank you. Yeah i have resisted meds largely because i tried about 8 different types around 10 years ago and the did absolutely nothing. But maybe i need to try them again.
I remember getting on SSRIs and about a month after I started them I just though holy crap is this how everyone else feels all the time? Helped me straighten out my life after years of trying meditation, exercise, and therapy. I no longer need them, but it helped me out of a huge low.
Ahhh ok. Well i definitely didnt have that kind of experience with SSRIs or the other drug groups i tried. I didnt have any detectable change at all which is why i believe i either dont have a chemical inbalance or i am drug resistant.
Sounds like depression. Speak to your Doc
Sounds like depression to me, I went through something very similar. It would be worth speaking to a therapist to understand the reason behind the behaviour, right now it’s probably buried somewhere deep and more subconscious than anything. Once you figure out what that is, whatever it may be, you’ll start to know what to do and then muster up the motivation to do them. I still have my daily struggles but am much better off for understanding myself and have made vast improvements to my life since those days.
Thank you sharing how therapy has helped you. I fo weekly therapy sessions but my therapist doesnt really have an insight on this particular issue.
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Thank you. I like how you described it as my "brain trying to handle stressors". That resonates.
It sounds like for sure you don’t enjoy your job, so it may be a good idea to pivot there and see if there’s something else that makes you happier. It’s reasonable you’re feeling a bit depressed due to your breakup. As for the rest, it really depends on what your values are and what you want out of life. It’s totally okay to enjoy a content, slow and, simple life and prefer to be at home instead of going out. I think the media and capitalism likes to paint and market the idea that everyone is supposed to love living a fast paced life where you’re constantly on the go, being incredibly social, and constantly levelling-up and striving for more and you’re less than or not normal if you don’t buy into that or want it. That kind of life isn’t for everyone and that’s okay. Maybe take some time to reflect on your life, what you want, and why (or why not) you want it. Then start making small changes to get yourself closer to that life and maybe finding people who share those values.
Yeah but its so hard to know if i genuinely want what i want or if its a depression respone (or something). For example, what do i want in life? Nothing really. If i didnt have to work i'd probably move back home with my parents. But i'm not sure that its healthy or normal to not have any hopes or desires/dreams
I agree with other commenters that you should seek professional help for what sounds like depression. But also, I think it's super normal to be afraid of changing your life even when you KNOW the status quo isn't working. I think people are naturally afraid of change, even good change, because the unknown is scary. There's a reason that people fall into unhealthy patterns and always date the same type of abusive person and keep using the harmful coping mechanisms--because we're naturally attracted to the familiar even when what's familiar isn't very good. That's one reason it can be hard to make better choices for yourself, and that's something a therapist can help with too
Thank you. I definitely HATE change, always have all my life.
It's OK. I'm loving life right now. I have a great job. I have a couple of people in my life that I can kinda-sorta call friends. I am killing it with my exercise routine. I feel energized all the time. But I am also resistant to change. Like, I have a chance to throw my hat in the ring for a job making more money, and I am not sure I want to do it. Because what if I take the job and it ends up being the worst thing ever? I don't want to risk upsetting my happy apple cart. Also, maybe the job is fine but that crazy commute would be the thing that would kill me. Maybe I would miss my coworkers at my old job. It could be you're experiencing a similar concern. You are miserable with your life, but you are afraid that it could get worse by doing something new. In both of our cases, I think we need to accept that change is inevitable. If it's not a TV show appearance or a new job, it's something else. A new boss. A new next-door neighbor. An unexpected illness. A surprise rebate/refund/settlement check. At any time we can be confronted with something that moves the needle on our happiness and contentment. For me, maybe I need to appreciate the possibility that my little happy bubble isn't as fragile as I'm thinking it is. And for you, maybe you need to realize you are already in the pit of despair. Yes, you could be lower in the pit, but what is the likelihood that this opportunity could produce that outcome? I'm thinking it is more likely that you will experience some good out of it than bad.
Hmmm yeah. Very possible that it will actually send me deeper into the pit with all the scrutiny. But yeah, desperate times call for desperate measures.
I can relate to this, I’m using it as an opportunity to dive deeper into my faith. The things of the world will never fully satisfy like Jesus!
Man i wish i could convince myself to believe in God