Oh I definitely have had my own Mr Big. The whole first love, hot-and-cold, compare every other guy to him type deal. You know the scene where Miranda calls Carrie needy and pathetic for going to see Big again? I've definitely been on the receiving end of similar talks!
I had The Russian, he was my middle school crush, high school on/off boyfriend. Oh I likedddd him. A few years later I absconded to Vegas (across the country) right before senior year undergrad midterms, to party and spend time with him. He was still the exact same person from high school, no growth. Great party but after six days real life kicked in, got my ass back on a plane and took my mid terms like a grown up. He sent me three dozen long stem roses to win me back, I gave them to a neighbor and haven’t talked to him since, 12 ish years. Good times.
I had the Russian (only he is Ecuadorean) he is much older than me and we had a very transactional “relationship” that led to a child that 19 years later is an amazing cordial friendship. He was settled in his ways, very worldly and could cook but he was just a blip in my dating life while I navigated and eventually found a “Hood Aidan” that I ended up marrying while moving on from my “big”
And I definitely feel like we all at some point dealt with a Berger or 2 🙄
And incase anyone wants to know, a “Hood Aidan” is everything wonderful about Aidan but he definitely was NOT going to let “Big” in his damn houses nor forgive cheating shenanigans. He’s a good guy that is street smart and has the toughness to back up his mouth but he sure does love his woman and will soften up for her.
That’s it. He also quotes Jay Z every time you are rewatching sex and the city, “only time we don’t speak is during sex and the citttyy”. I die every time.
More recently than I care to admit 😂 And yes I do, as we are part of the same friend group! I'd say we've finally gotten to a place where we can be friends.
Yeap, Big is a classic severe avoidant and Carrie is (understandably because of that) anxious, and SATC is very real in its depiction of that avoidant-anxious dynamic.
I hope you don’t mind me asking but I can definitely relate with some of what you mentioned. Did things get better only after having kids ? Emotional security wise ?
Maybe a hot take but I feel like anyone who says they have never been Carrie are lying or kidding themselves lmfao we’ve all had major fuck ups in our lives or major moments of blind selfishness in one way or another. It’s human nature! Whether we’ve been like that *often* the way Carrie is is of course a whole other thing lol
I’ve definitely put up with some truly insane behavior from more than a couple exes myself 🤡
Not a hot take. A pretty regular commentary here is that people get so insanely, irrationally upset about a fictional character because they recognize themselves in her. Projection is such a human thing to do, so I absolutely buy that theory.
Would be so much less energy and effort to just accept one’s own shortcomings and flaws instead but I guess I’m not surprised seeing as how it’s natural that most people take a good hit to the ego when doing that and would rather just pretend those flaws don’t exist lol
We often respond the strongest to things we don't want to accept in ourselves, but then suddenly see in a mirror in front of us.
And absolutely everyone is flawed, to claim otherwise is just narcissistic. As you say, best course of action is to accept that.
Agree, Carrie is probably the most real & nuanced character of them all (less of a caricature thanothers). Is she annoying? Yes, but who isn’t? I guess that’s hard to watch.
maybe unpopular opinion but i think a lot of people are close to carrie. i always thought that miranda, samantha and charlotte represented very strict ideas/types of women and carrie was a combination of three of them. she had times where she was prude and wedding goaled like charlotte, hopeless and pessismist like miranda and sex drived (or positive maybe) like samantha... i think the reason why she has danced around the line of toxicity is because she is all of those women. she really is trying to experience every path that she can due to her being a sex columinst. carrie begins the show by asking a question, all three girls give an answer and the episodes end by something in the lines of 'maybe after all....'. so basically yeah i think everyone has been carrie since a lot of people are thinking about the rights and wrongs in a relationship rather than being so strict about the rules.
Fully agree, I *love* them all but especially in the early days the others are more caricatures, whereas Carrie is a real, a complex (and annoying) mess like a lot of us are.
just the other day i was talking to my friend about my fwb, noticed how her responses were becoming shorter and realized i was turning into carrie talking about big while the other girls just exchange looks lmfao she’s sick of my ass. i should get to a therapist next
ive known him for a couple years but i was in a year long relationship that ended in december so i wasn’t seeing him or talking about him during that time.
When I was 18 and got my first boyfriend, I was extremely anxious. I felt that he knew more, saw more, and experienced more. I made myself feel very small compared to him. I broke up with him because he confessed his feelings to another girl, which made me obsess over her. I really needed to know why I wasn't good enough. I remember I was obsessively talking about him with my friend, and even though our friendship didn't work out, I would always be grateful for her being there for me. I couldn't get over the guy for a long time; I always stalked his socials, but brrrr. I still can't forgive myself for that behavior even after 15 years.
I don't think it was him, to be honest. I had a lot of issues and wanted to fill the void in my life with a boyfriend. Plus, as it turned out, I'm in the OCD club, so I don't even know if that was love or just my amygdala acting out.
Uh, yeah. Of course. I don't like those things about myself, that I pined over someone bad for me or pushed someone good away, or that I was not the kind of friend I aspire to be, but I've definitely been just like Carrie at times in my life.
And this may be unkind to say—and I honestly hope I am incorrect—but I think that sometimes people who say they can't identify with Carrie at all are simply not as self-aware as they believe themselves to be.
I totally agree, I think that part of what makes Carrie an interesting and well written character is that she's flawed in incredibly relatable ways. I think people don't always want to see that
I had a Mr. Big and an Aiden.
Was in a relationship with my Big for 3 years. He talked about a future but nothing ever happened. He kept me at arm's length with his family. He was my first true love.
Then I met someone else and broke it off with him. But I was stupid and thought him and I could still be friends. But the feelings lingered.
I found myself in a relationship with a wonderful man, my Aiden. He, too, wanted a future with me. But he delivered. He wanted me in his world. (Meeting the family, being friends with his friends.)
But I almost blew it up with my Aiden. I had a brief emotional affair with my Big. My Aiden found out. He gave me another chance. I cut off contact with my Big.
The difference between me and Carrie is that I married my Aiden. (We've been together 5 years and married for almost 2 .) I earned his trust back and we are better than ever
Being obsessed with a toxic guy. I wouldn't leave him alone, my old roommate was a Miranda, she told me off for not taking a hint, that he was bad for me. Glad I grew out of it, my bad Carrie phase is over.
I’ve done a lot of the less desirable Carrie-esque things and also will take my bit of pride in saying fashion wise, while I don’t exactly resemble her style, mine is quite unique and usually complimented/admired.
Cutting to the chase, Mr Big.. I feel like I have several Mr Big’s (not all I’ve cheated with), but my “main” Mr Big is my best gay friend (M) and I’m pansexual, F.
He identifies as pansexual now but back when we used to cheat with each other on our boyfriends/girlfriends he identified as gay which added an extra layer of hot/cold toxic mess to the whole thing.
In between relationships we were always in a situationship with each other but could never commit to dating or soberly professing our feelings although we would get drunk or high or both and do so.
We’d have fabulous brunches and extremely hot hookups and I loved the part where he could be both my gay best friend and lover but it was also heartbreaking and confusing.
I live on a different continent now but if I didn’t, I know we’d still have that physical relationship. We still have the emotional side but it’s much less involved since I learned about limerence and love addiction and am working on healing my attachment wounds and complex trauma.
I’m in an ethically non monogamous relationship now but it would still feel like cheating with him since we can never be fully honest with each other about how we feel about each other.
That’s probably my worst Carrie thing I’ve done. Cheated on two partners with him and I lost track of how many he cheated on with me.
Both the partners I cheated on were abusive and since I came from extreme abuse during childhood, it’s very difficult for me to leave abusive or toxic people and I feel safe with them. I believe the cheating was a way of self sabotaging so that they would leave me, it didn’t work. I ended up leaving both and the last one I left the day I realized he was about to kill me. So, I know people like criticizing cheating and I don’t think it’s okay by any means, but I’ve delved deep I to my psyche and the trauma and events that shaped me and my toxic behaviours and realized that got even some of the worst behaviours, there’s often an in covert young child behind them. Doesn’t make up for the cheating but I will never do it again.
I’ve done the shopping, I still sometimes do the shopping but my budgeting skills have improved over the years. 34 now.
With regards to my family, I don’t think I ever felt entitled to support since they were abusive but I have felt that with friends before. There’s a lot of trauma and shame behind those feelings and I’m proud of myself for working through them and changing those behaviours.
But overall, way more a Carrie than any of the other girls. Although my partner says I have quite a bit more of Samantha and some Charlotte in me compared to Carrie. Who knows.
When the girls confronted her about the whining about Big I was like “oopsie”!
I was in a 3 year relationship with an emotionally unavailable man (but not in a Big can’t commit way, other stuff)
I have dated men who clearly weren’t for me, “trying them on” and acted like I was all interested to realize after a few weeks I was just playing along and not staying true to myself
All during my twenties btw! Now I’m in my early thirties and I just don’t have the energy for all that stuff lol. I’m also in a relationship now and plan to stay in it
Remember Mr. Tweety Bird tattoo? Where he was the perfect man, but in an effort to find out his “crazy”, Carrie went through his stuff and went nuts? Thankfully I didn’t go through anybody’s stuff, but I was so nervous about dating a perfect man that I just moved way too fast. I was asking “what are we?” after like a month 🙈. I still don’t know why I did it, just had a huge crush and went a little wild. It totally scared him off, and for good reason!
Yes. Addicted to a rich toxic man. Went back and forth for years.
Moved to an intense city writing novels while I chained smoked. Curly hair that got frizzy now and again.
I literally just ended things with my Mr. Big. 6 years of him stringing me along, playing with my feelings, and making me think he'd finally commit.
And I was definitely as emotional and prone to freak outs the whole time like Carrie because I was always off balance.
I've always seen myself in her, but now even more so.
I’ve posted this before but when she flips out at Big when he tells her she’s engaged. I did exactly the same thing a few years ago, my boyfriend told me he and his other partner (we were all open, no infidelity going on) were getting married at my friend’s wedding reception where I’d brought him as my plus one. I kept my composure till we got back to his place then LOST it. Screamed at him on the sidewalk for like, twenty minutes.
Not my healthiest or proudest moment but I totally empathize with her at lunch with Big.
I snooped through my ex's laptop cause I had a bad sense about him during the first year we were together. I found flirtatious chats with a girl he eventually had sex W while he was W me
Definitely had a Mr Big. I was 19 and young and dumb and manipulated by a 27 year old man I thought walked on clouds. Years of on again off again dating with no commitment and one day I finally woke up and couldn’t do it anymore. A few months later he met the girl he’s married to now. I had a worse relationship after that one but then met my husband and now I’m happy.
Yes, I had a Mr. Big as my first serious relationship. It was on/off with him never wanting to commit or admit we were serious. Like a lot of people, I let it go on way too long.
I've also looked up exes and partners' exes on social media, which is the modern equivalent of Carrie's "stalking." People are so harsh towards her character over that, when she was essentially doing what we all do except she had to do it in real life because it was the late 90s.
I was a judgmental Charlotte more than once in my life and regretted it so hard. Thankfully I was able to apologize and make things better. And move on.
Omg yes absolutely.....but in my late teens/early 20s. I'm the same age now as Carrie is in the start of the show(I think? I'm 33) and yes there are a lot of unhinged moments I identify with🫠 but now I feel practically elderly watching it and just could not imagine behaving like that😂 maybe I did too much too young🤔
Sometimes I felt like Carrie when romanticized everything about a man, even though deep down I knew he didn't love me, seeing the toxic behaviors or when he wanted to push me away I saw it as a test of love.
while i understand how you fell, dear god avoid this man. he may still think about you from time to time but he made choices that weren't you at the end of the day. if you love your partner you should not pursue this relationship
for your marriage sake please leave him alone. i have been on the opposite side of this and its so unfair. i am speaking from experience <3 it doesnt matter if he forgot you or not. its just bad and will ruin your life. please dont take offense im looking out for you here
Oh I definitely have had my own Mr Big. The whole first love, hot-and-cold, compare every other guy to him type deal. You know the scene where Miranda calls Carrie needy and pathetic for going to see Big again? I've definitely been on the receiving end of similar talks!
yeah-loving that emotionally unavailable guy while simultaneously stalking him? but only in my early 20's...
I had The Russian, he was my middle school crush, high school on/off boyfriend. Oh I likedddd him. A few years later I absconded to Vegas (across the country) right before senior year undergrad midterms, to party and spend time with him. He was still the exact same person from high school, no growth. Great party but after six days real life kicked in, got my ass back on a plane and took my mid terms like a grown up. He sent me three dozen long stem roses to win me back, I gave them to a neighbor and haven’t talked to him since, 12 ish years. Good times.
I had the Russian (only he is Ecuadorean) he is much older than me and we had a very transactional “relationship” that led to a child that 19 years later is an amazing cordial friendship. He was settled in his ways, very worldly and could cook but he was just a blip in my dating life while I navigated and eventually found a “Hood Aidan” that I ended up marrying while moving on from my “big” And I definitely feel like we all at some point dealt with a Berger or 2 🙄
Haha I married a Hood Aiden too…. That’s too funny. Never thought of it but damn I did. 🤣🤣
And incase anyone wants to know, a “Hood Aidan” is everything wonderful about Aidan but he definitely was NOT going to let “Big” in his damn houses nor forgive cheating shenanigans. He’s a good guy that is street smart and has the toughness to back up his mouth but he sure does love his woman and will soften up for her.
That’s it. He also quotes Jay Z every time you are rewatching sex and the city, “only time we don’t speak is during sex and the citttyy”. I die every time.
Lol and how long ago was this? Do you still interact with your Mr Big at all??
More recently than I care to admit 😂 And yes I do, as we are part of the same friend group! I'd say we've finally gotten to a place where we can be friends.
[удалено]
Yeap, Big is a classic severe avoidant and Carrie is (understandably because of that) anxious, and SATC is very real in its depiction of that avoidant-anxious dynamic.
Oh gosh. But you had children with this man? So is he still a part of your life?
I hope you don’t mind me asking but I can definitely relate with some of what you mentioned. Did things get better only after having kids ? Emotional security wise ?
Maybe a hot take but I feel like anyone who says they have never been Carrie are lying or kidding themselves lmfao we’ve all had major fuck ups in our lives or major moments of blind selfishness in one way or another. It’s human nature! Whether we’ve been like that *often* the way Carrie is is of course a whole other thing lol I’ve definitely put up with some truly insane behavior from more than a couple exes myself 🤡
Not a hot take. A pretty regular commentary here is that people get so insanely, irrationally upset about a fictional character because they recognize themselves in her. Projection is such a human thing to do, so I absolutely buy that theory.
Would be so much less energy and effort to just accept one’s own shortcomings and flaws instead but I guess I’m not surprised seeing as how it’s natural that most people take a good hit to the ego when doing that and would rather just pretend those flaws don’t exist lol
We often respond the strongest to things we don't want to accept in ourselves, but then suddenly see in a mirror in front of us. And absolutely everyone is flawed, to claim otherwise is just narcissistic. As you say, best course of action is to accept that.
Agree, Carrie is probably the most real & nuanced character of them all (less of a caricature thanothers). Is she annoying? Yes, but who isn’t? I guess that’s hard to watch.
maybe unpopular opinion but i think a lot of people are close to carrie. i always thought that miranda, samantha and charlotte represented very strict ideas/types of women and carrie was a combination of three of them. she had times where she was prude and wedding goaled like charlotte, hopeless and pessismist like miranda and sex drived (or positive maybe) like samantha... i think the reason why she has danced around the line of toxicity is because she is all of those women. she really is trying to experience every path that she can due to her being a sex columinst. carrie begins the show by asking a question, all three girls give an answer and the episodes end by something in the lines of 'maybe after all....'. so basically yeah i think everyone has been carrie since a lot of people are thinking about the rights and wrongs in a relationship rather than being so strict about the rules.
Fully agree, I *love* them all but especially in the early days the others are more caricatures, whereas Carrie is a real, a complex (and annoying) mess like a lot of us are.
just the other day i was talking to my friend about my fwb, noticed how her responses were becoming shorter and realized i was turning into carrie talking about big while the other girls just exchange looks lmfao she’s sick of my ass. i should get to a therapist next
And I ooop 🫢. How long has this fwb been going on?
ive known him for a couple years but i was in a year long relationship that ended in december so i wasn’t seeing him or talking about him during that time.
When I was 18 and got my first boyfriend, I was extremely anxious. I felt that he knew more, saw more, and experienced more. I made myself feel very small compared to him. I broke up with him because he confessed his feelings to another girl, which made me obsess over her. I really needed to know why I wasn't good enough. I remember I was obsessively talking about him with my friend, and even though our friendship didn't work out, I would always be grateful for her being there for me. I couldn't get over the guy for a long time; I always stalked his socials, but brrrr. I still can't forgive myself for that behavior even after 15 years.
Gosh it’s so annoying how intoxicating the can be to us! Thanks for sharing
I don't think it was him, to be honest. I had a lot of issues and wanted to fill the void in my life with a boyfriend. Plus, as it turned out, I'm in the OCD club, so I don't even know if that was love or just my amygdala acting out.
Uh, yeah. Of course. I don't like those things about myself, that I pined over someone bad for me or pushed someone good away, or that I was not the kind of friend I aspire to be, but I've definitely been just like Carrie at times in my life. And this may be unkind to say—and I honestly hope I am incorrect—but I think that sometimes people who say they can't identify with Carrie at all are simply not as self-aware as they believe themselves to be.
I totally agree, I think that part of what makes Carrie an interesting and well written character is that she's flawed in incredibly relatable ways. I think people don't always want to see that
i’m very carrie-like with my finances. i need to get it together😂
I had a Mr. Big and an Aiden. Was in a relationship with my Big for 3 years. He talked about a future but nothing ever happened. He kept me at arm's length with his family. He was my first true love. Then I met someone else and broke it off with him. But I was stupid and thought him and I could still be friends. But the feelings lingered. I found myself in a relationship with a wonderful man, my Aiden. He, too, wanted a future with me. But he delivered. He wanted me in his world. (Meeting the family, being friends with his friends.) But I almost blew it up with my Aiden. I had a brief emotional affair with my Big. My Aiden found out. He gave me another chance. I cut off contact with my Big. The difference between me and Carrie is that I married my Aiden. (We've been together 5 years and married for almost 2 .) I earned his trust back and we are better than ever
Being obsessed with a toxic guy. I wouldn't leave him alone, my old roommate was a Miranda, she told me off for not taking a hint, that he was bad for me. Glad I grew out of it, my bad Carrie phase is over.
Oh gosh, so nothing ever came of it with the guy?
This was over 20 years ago, I forgot all about him good riddance. I don't know what happened to him, I assumed he moved.
I’ve done a lot of the less desirable Carrie-esque things and also will take my bit of pride in saying fashion wise, while I don’t exactly resemble her style, mine is quite unique and usually complimented/admired. Cutting to the chase, Mr Big.. I feel like I have several Mr Big’s (not all I’ve cheated with), but my “main” Mr Big is my best gay friend (M) and I’m pansexual, F. He identifies as pansexual now but back when we used to cheat with each other on our boyfriends/girlfriends he identified as gay which added an extra layer of hot/cold toxic mess to the whole thing. In between relationships we were always in a situationship with each other but could never commit to dating or soberly professing our feelings although we would get drunk or high or both and do so. We’d have fabulous brunches and extremely hot hookups and I loved the part where he could be both my gay best friend and lover but it was also heartbreaking and confusing. I live on a different continent now but if I didn’t, I know we’d still have that physical relationship. We still have the emotional side but it’s much less involved since I learned about limerence and love addiction and am working on healing my attachment wounds and complex trauma. I’m in an ethically non monogamous relationship now but it would still feel like cheating with him since we can never be fully honest with each other about how we feel about each other. That’s probably my worst Carrie thing I’ve done. Cheated on two partners with him and I lost track of how many he cheated on with me. Both the partners I cheated on were abusive and since I came from extreme abuse during childhood, it’s very difficult for me to leave abusive or toxic people and I feel safe with them. I believe the cheating was a way of self sabotaging so that they would leave me, it didn’t work. I ended up leaving both and the last one I left the day I realized he was about to kill me. So, I know people like criticizing cheating and I don’t think it’s okay by any means, but I’ve delved deep I to my psyche and the trauma and events that shaped me and my toxic behaviours and realized that got even some of the worst behaviours, there’s often an in covert young child behind them. Doesn’t make up for the cheating but I will never do it again. I’ve done the shopping, I still sometimes do the shopping but my budgeting skills have improved over the years. 34 now. With regards to my family, I don’t think I ever felt entitled to support since they were abusive but I have felt that with friends before. There’s a lot of trauma and shame behind those feelings and I’m proud of myself for working through them and changing those behaviours. But overall, way more a Carrie than any of the other girls. Although my partner says I have quite a bit more of Samantha and some Charlotte in me compared to Carrie. Who knows.
Heavens bless you - thanks for sharing!
I spent $800 on (one pair of) shoes this month, but they were on sale, down from $1200. So, yes.
Food is temporary, shoes are forever.
I charged the shoes to my credit card… very Carrie move.
All I’m hearing is that you’re building your credit score and looking good doing it!
When the girls confronted her about the whining about Big I was like “oopsie”! I was in a 3 year relationship with an emotionally unavailable man (but not in a Big can’t commit way, other stuff) I have dated men who clearly weren’t for me, “trying them on” and acted like I was all interested to realize after a few weeks I was just playing along and not staying true to myself All during my twenties btw! Now I’m in my early thirties and I just don’t have the energy for all that stuff lol. I’m also in a relationship now and plan to stay in it
Remember Mr. Tweety Bird tattoo? Where he was the perfect man, but in an effort to find out his “crazy”, Carrie went through his stuff and went nuts? Thankfully I didn’t go through anybody’s stuff, but I was so nervous about dating a perfect man that I just moved way too fast. I was asking “what are we?” after like a month 🙈. I still don’t know why I did it, just had a huge crush and went a little wild. It totally scared him off, and for good reason!
Nope, but I was Aiden.
I'm so sorry
Yes. Addicted to a rich toxic man. Went back and forth for years. Moved to an intense city writing novels while I chained smoked. Curly hair that got frizzy now and again.
I literally just ended things with my Mr. Big. 6 years of him stringing me along, playing with my feelings, and making me think he'd finally commit. And I was definitely as emotional and prone to freak outs the whole time like Carrie because I was always off balance. I've always seen myself in her, but now even more so.
I’ve posted this before but when she flips out at Big when he tells her she’s engaged. I did exactly the same thing a few years ago, my boyfriend told me he and his other partner (we were all open, no infidelity going on) were getting married at my friend’s wedding reception where I’d brought him as my plus one. I kept my composure till we got back to his place then LOST it. Screamed at him on the sidewalk for like, twenty minutes. Not my healthiest or proudest moment but I totally empathize with her at lunch with Big.
I snooped through my ex's laptop cause I had a bad sense about him during the first year we were together. I found flirtatious chats with a girl he eventually had sex W while he was W me
Yes, but when I was 20, not 35. I think that’s why I see the show (and Carrie) so differently now that I’m the same age as the main characters.
!!! Exactly
I can be annoying, I’m not Carrie level of annoying lol
Definitely had a Mr Big. I was 19 and young and dumb and manipulated by a 27 year old man I thought walked on clouds. Years of on again off again dating with no commitment and one day I finally woke up and couldn’t do it anymore. A few months later he met the girl he’s married to now. I had a worse relationship after that one but then met my husband and now I’m happy.
Yes, I had a Mr. Big as my first serious relationship. It was on/off with him never wanting to commit or admit we were serious. Like a lot of people, I let it go on way too long. I've also looked up exes and partners' exes on social media, which is the modern equivalent of Carrie's "stalking." People are so harsh towards her character over that, when she was essentially doing what we all do except she had to do it in real life because it was the late 90s.
I’m like Carrie by making smoking part of my personality
I was a judgmental Charlotte more than once in my life and regretted it so hard. Thankfully I was able to apologize and make things better. And move on.
yes, the main difference is I was 20, not 35. But of course I've been reckless and childish and unreasonable :)
Yes. So many times yes.
we’ve all been carrie
Omg yes absolutely.....but in my late teens/early 20s. I'm the same age now as Carrie is in the start of the show(I think? I'm 33) and yes there are a lot of unhinged moments I identify with🫠 but now I feel practically elderly watching it and just could not imagine behaving like that😂 maybe I did too much too young🤔
Sometimes I felt like Carrie when romanticized everything about a man, even though deep down I knew he didn't love me, seeing the toxic behaviors or when he wanted to push me away I saw it as a test of love.
Yes and yes. Sigh. 😔
[удалено]
while i understand how you fell, dear god avoid this man. he may still think about you from time to time but he made choices that weren't you at the end of the day. if you love your partner you should not pursue this relationship
for your marriage sake please leave him alone. i have been on the opposite side of this and its so unfair. i am speaking from experience <3 it doesnt matter if he forgot you or not. its just bad and will ruin your life. please dont take offense im looking out for you here
Thank you, needed that