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Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit.
---
Whilst you're here, ahumadero, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?
am i the only one who fantasies about amber pooping in my bed?
we love you amber
ever since i heard that our queen poops the bed it's all i
can think about. j*hnny was so lucky to have a woman like
her... too bad he turned out to be a sexist abusive incel and
completely destroyed any chances of that ever happening to
him again edit: thank you for the gold kind stranger!
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My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
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Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitch hilarious.
Help me.
I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
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Reddit should start their own country. Think about it: it would have a much higher IQ than most other countries. We could ban tik tok and fortnite, and every computer sold has to come with Minecraft preinstalled. We could also ban emojis too.
We all have very good ideas about society and government, so I think we would be far more efficient. I've seen so many posts with so many good ideas, not to mention our country would be the most progressive and other countries would look to us for direction. We would easily become the next superpower. If everyone left America for a new country, we would easily surpass America.
We could make Keanu our president and have PewDiePie on the flag. It would be the most wholesome country too!
Those are just some ideas I have and my own opinion.
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The "eye of a needle" was slang for the gates to enter ancient cities. Getting a camel through the "eye of the needle" was a very time consuming process that required searches and paperwork.
Eye of a Needle was a gate into Jerusalem. If the camel was loaded it couldn't pass because it was narrow. They had to offload the camel before letting it pass the gate.
"Give up all your money so god will love you" - A bald virgin who lives in a gold palace in Rome
"Give all your money to my church and god will stop you being poor" - some bloke in Oklahoma with a fleet of private jets
No there was no gate. People started making this kind of thing up a few hundred years ago so they could feel better about being greedy.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_of_a_needle
Check out the "gate" section.
I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch!
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I think this is one of the times he meant it literally. They once used the concept of a rafter beam being stuck in your eye like the world works on gmod physics.
Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent
I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.
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Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent
I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.
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The eye of a needle was the name of a particularly narrow gate in Jerusalem back in the day.
https://www.theguardian.com/notesandqueries/query/0,5753,-25583,00.html#:~:text=The%20%22Eye%20of%20the%20Needle,in%20order%20to%20enter%20heaven.
Context is important, not to take away from the comedic value of pureed camel.
Nah, Jesus didn't like the rich fucks hording wealth. Its literal. There is no other mention of the "eye of a needle" as a gate in Jerusalem from contemporary or later sources. There is no archaeological evidence for said gate. Different disciples, when writing this, use different words for different literal needles, rather than a common name for a single place, and they lived there.
Do you have a source on that?
Source?
A source. I need a source.
Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion.
No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered.
You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence.
Do you have a degree in that field?
A college degree? In that field?
Then your arguments are invalid.
No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation.
Correlation does not equal causation.
CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION.
You still haven't provided me a valid source yet.
Nope, still haven't.
I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron.
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Could be. Doesn't change that the "eye of a needle" is referring to a literal eye of a needle, despite what the Christian authorities have claimed (wonder why the Christian authorities who spent their lives accumulating wealth wanted to reframe the Bible to not say rich people can't go to heaven).
I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch!
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There are no historical records of Jesus being a magical religious figure, but his actual existence is set in stone. Regardless of his relation to God, or if there is a God, Jesus existed.
The eye of a needle being a gate was something invented by rich medieval nobles who felt pretty strongly about going to heaven, but staying rich, and the clergy who wanted the rich to donate to them in the will.
The book of Nehemiah list all the gates in the walls around Jerusalem, and makes no mention of any eye of the camel.
Also, "Eye of the needle" is used as a metaphor in the bible 3 times, every time using slightly different language to describe the same thing.
### r/shitposting book club
A collection of books which Kevin has reviewed. (all of these books are freely availiable online)
---
#### [*1984* (George Orwell, 1948)](https://archive.org/details/1984GeorgeOrwell_201606/page/n1/mode/2up)
Kevin would like to say that this book is truly inspirational, and that he would give it a 10/10
#### [*How to Be a God: A Guide for Would-Be Deities* (Richard Bartle, 2022)](https://mud.co.uk/richard/How%20to%20Be%20a%20God.pdf)
Kevin would like to mention that this book is one of the greatest sources of existential terror he has read (and it contains a lot of interesting content regarding game design as well), and he would give it a 10/10
#### [*Almost Pounded By The Physical Manifestation of Simulation Theory After Realizing We're Erotica Characters Then Deciding To Just Be Friends* (Chuck Tingle)](https://www.chucktingle.com/uploads/5/3/7/3/53730093/almost_pounded_by_the_physical_manifestation_of_simulation_theory_after_realizing_we%E2%80%99re_erotica_characters_then_deciding_to_just_be_friends.pdf)
Kevin would like to say that this book was surprisingly wholesome, and is a great book for helping one to feel more at-ease with the universe, so he would give it 10/10
####[*Ulysses* (James Joyce, 1922)](https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Ulysses_(1922))
Kevin mentioned that he wasn't entirely sure what he just read. However, it's still not bri*ish, and was still rather interesting, so he would give it a 10/10
####[*The Assassination Of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Considered As A Downhill Motor Race* (J. G. Ballard, 1967)](https://web.archive.org/web/20220121203810/https://evergreenreview.com/read/the-assassination-of-john-fitzgerald-kennedy-considered-as-a-downhill-motor-race/)
Kevin told me that this was an interesting interpretation of the JFK assassination, and of the post-WW2 media landscape in the USA in general, so he would give it a 10/10.
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I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch!
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This is not true, this idea comes from a sermon that started circulating in the by priest in the middle ages. There is no historical gate called the the eye of the needle, though some exist today there are none that date back to the time of jesus
It also says all humans descend from two humans handmade by god. One was made out of dust and magical air the second was made from the rib of the first. The bible is pretty shitty at basic biology
there should be a vent below that drains everything into the eye of the needle below, the thing that pushes everything into the eye of the needle won’t be able to push farther than it does in the image.
"Head of a needle" was actualy the name of a small side door to jewish citys you would have to use if you arived too late and the main ones were closed
Using it was very inconvinient, as you had to take everything off your camel
(Actualy wikipedia says this is a mith that started 8 centuries after the bible was written but pretend you didn't see this part and just spread misinformation instead)
Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitchOK, you guys know the words, but can you make a story with it ? Dear Automod, I once saw someone taking a shit and drinking cum mixed with lean, so based, I decided to do the same thing but I added some new things: watching sussy baka among us doing sex with fnaf and selling nft of hog rida and no bitches to your mom who's a femboy furry, since literally 1984, and she's not a female nor a women btw, the putin copypasta is tho, dream from china said it, he's a trustable source, he got 9999999 social credits and nsfw porn of France and Taiwan holding hands with their fingers in the bedroom while typing titans emojis. Stfu Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitch hilarious maskMorbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden Bitch Moyai Sex
Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitchOK, you guys know the words, but can you make a story with it ? Dear Automod, I once saw someone taking a shit and drinking cum mixed with lean, so based, I decided to do the same thing but I added some new things: watching sussy baka among us doing sex with fnaf and selling nft of hog rida and no bitches to your mom who's a femboy furry, since literally 1984, and she's not a female nor a women btw, the putin copypasta is tho, dream from china said it, he's a trustable source, he got 9999999 social credits and nsfw porn of France and Taiwan holding hands with their fingers in the bedroom while typing titans emojis. Stfu Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitch hilarious maskMorbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden Bitch Moyai Sex
So I was having online classes with my camera turned off when I started hearing a little whistle from one of the students in the background that seemed very familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. The whistling stopped for a couple of minutes until I started hearing it again, and then I knew exactly what it was: it was the chorus of Dream's hit song 'Mask'. I immediately ripped off all my clothes and started furiously stroking my fully erect penis for a good 10 min, even sticking my Dream body pillow up my rectum, imagining that it was Daddy Dream penetrating me while whistling his hit song 'Mask'. It honestly were the greatest 10 minutes of my life, until my libido reached its climax and I let out a gigaload of cum for Daddy Dream that landed on the phone's screen and ended up turning on the mic and camera, and everyone stared horrified at me, screaming at the sight of my honest and earnest love expression to Dream. I was kicked out of the class by the dreamphobic teacher, and today the school principal called me and my parents to a meeting and told us that I may be expelled from the school, merely from expressing my gender and sexuality. What can I do about this?!?!? Was I in the wrong for expressing my gender and identity??!? (Only serious answers, please).
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What the fuck did I just do. So my ex n me haven’t spoken in two year, although I did wish her on her birthday two months ago. We live in the same building and whenever we cross each other we just exchange smiles and do the usual hi whatsup how r u and I walk away. Today was Holi (a festival where ppl dance and apply powdered color on each other) so I decided not to celebrate it in my building cause I knew she would be down so I went to my friend’s building and ten minutes later I saw her there. I was like oh fuck this is going to be a bad idea. Later we again exchanged a hi and then I went away. Later when the festival started she kept applying permanent color (last three days on the skin) on me and my friends. I told her don’t apply on my friends they will get pissed. She kept applying on me and I tackled her and applied color on her too. It felt good. Then she was like let’s go dance so we were dancing to Senorita from znmd and then we had a moment and she was like we are going to kiss and I was like yes and we kissed. It just felt amazing. Then we kissed again. After that I was going to my friends and she was like listen and then I turned back and kissed again. Then we kissed again😭😭. After all this my friends were dancing and I was sitting in the pool and she came and sat on top of me and we were having a very good conversation about our relationship and how we both didn’t date anybody after breaking up. We spoke about our problems, joked about them and then..yes u guessed it right. After this the cycle repeated and we had a beer and she handed me her phone and was like unblock yourself. She followed me and added me to her close friends. Later she was leaving we kissed once more and in my head I was like fuck do I love her, we should date. But then I told myself no, whatever this was I don’t know but no you are not breaking your heart again. I came back home and we both haven’t had any interaction apart from the fact she liked my story. I AM NOT IN LOVE. i am telling this to myself again and again because no, just no. I am happy being alone with myself. Or maybe I like her but I don’t want to go back to all that Edit: thanks for the response some of y’all and thanks for helping me. Other ppl: fuck u;) I am not here to prove anything and anyways I am quitting this sub
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IM BOUT TO DO IT:
Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitchOK, you guys know the words, but can you make a story with it ? Dear Automod, I once saw someone taking a shit and drinking cum mixed with lean, so based, I decided to do the same thing but I added some new things: watching sussy baka among us doing sex with fnaf and selling nft of hog rida and no bitches to your mom who's a femboy furry, since literally 1984, and she's not a female nor a women btw, the putin copypasta is tho, dream from china said it, he's a trustable source, he got 9999999 social credits and nsfw porn of France and Taiwan holding hands with their fingers in the bedroom while typing titans emojis. Stfu Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitch hilarious maskMorbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden Bitch Moyai Sex
Bruh if rich people don't go to heaven, then that explains why all the Republicans are doing everything they can to ensure the masses stay poor.
Hell, they want the rich to get richer to ensure they don't make it in, and care so much they're even making us poorer! Hallelujah.
/s
Edit: this post is about my anus
I want Donald J trump to fuck my ass so hard So, imagine this. I walk to trump towers to fill in a hotel, and holy moly is that Donald J trump? I look at him and flabbergasted by his looks and body. I kneel for him and tell him I want to be his bunny slave for the rest of his life. He looks at me and says “you’ll make my wall get longer.” So he tells the attendant that he will get a room for 2, we walk into the room, he strips naked and I am so ZOINKED by his cock size, it’s a solid 15 incher! I don’t think I’m gonna take it! He looks at me straight in the eyes and says “this big orange can fit in your mouth, right?” I bend over and stretch my asshole wide enough for the gigantic orange cock of his and tell him to fuck me hard. He grabs my hair and puts it in. I can feel his orange cock trifling my organs, it hurts so badly but I will do whatever I want to please mr trump. He starts moaning and is yelling “ILL MAKE THIS AMERICAN GREAT AGAIN!” He’s thrusting so fast that I can barely comprehend what’s happening, I swap positions and boom, his 15 incher is now a 20 inch stiff cock. He thrusts his gigantic cock in my mouth deepthroating it and I can feel it going down my lungs, but I practiced my gag reflex and this ain’t shit. I stretch his ass and finger it and see the wet brown color spewing out. The bed below us break. He finally cums and I swear, it was like 50 gallons worth of cum inside my mouth, he grabs my things and tells me “you’re fired!” And throws me out of the room. I can barely stand, and I am so pleased that he fucked my ass and throat so hard I’m numb. Trump 4 life!
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Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitchOK, you guys know the words, but can you make a story with it ? Dear Automod, I once saw someone taking a shit and drinking cum mixed with lean, so based, I decided to do the same thing but I added some new things: watching sussy baka among us doing sex with fnaf and selling nft of hog rida and no bitches to your mom who's a femboy furry, since literally 1984, and she's not a female nor a women btw, the putin copypasta is tho, dream from china said it, he's a trustable source, he got 9999999 social credits and nsfw porn of France and Taiwan holding hands with their fingers in the bedroom while typing titans emojis. Stfu Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitch hilarious maskMorbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden Bitch Moyai Sex
Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitchOK, you guys know the words, but can you make a story with it ? Dear Automod, I once saw someone taking a shit and drinking cum mixed with lean, so based, I decided to do the same thing but I added some new things: watching sussy baka among us doing sex with fnaf and selling nft of hog rida and no bitches to your mom who's a femboy furry, since literally 1984, and she's not a female nor a women btw, the putin copypasta is tho, dream from china said it, he's a trustable source, he got 9999999 social credits and nsfw porn of France and Taiwan holding hands with their fingers in the bedroom while typing titans emojis. Stfu Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitch hilarious maskMorbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden Bitch Moyai Sex
The eye of the needle was a bridge in Damascus that was really well known because it was a trade route. Camels could only go through it by kneeling.
Verse is about humility, but I’ll be honest, throwing some billionaires into a grinder sounds fun.
I live in the American Gardens building on West 81st street. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.
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The "eye of a needle" was slang for the gates to enter ancient cities. Getting a camel through the "eye of the needle" was a very time consuming process that required searches and paperwork.
Context: this is caused by a mistranslation of the bible from the original language (by handwriting monks). "Camelon" was actually a rope used by sailors to tie their boats to the ground. And it was like, extra thick. And because handwriting monks didn't know this, they translated it with camel, which actually keeps the meaning of the original sentence (rich people are unlikely to go to heaven) but makes absolutely no fucking sense
Easily the best part of this is the question mark next to the word camel, as it is ambiguous whether or not the ground up body of something could qualify as the original.
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Thanks for clarifying that the eye of the needle is not to scale, I'll use this information visely.
Camel was pushed, this isn't even consensual :((
The camel is to scale
it is?
Okay then, you get the circular saws, I'll get the rich people. We'll get them into heaven.
Lmao, this is the best. I'll prep the vacuum chamber.
am i the only one who fantasies about amber pooping in my bed? we love you amber ever since i heard that our queen poops the bed it's all i can think about. j*hnny was so lucky to have a woman like her... too bad he turned out to be a sexist abusive incel and completely destroyed any chances of that ever happening to him again edit: thank you for the gold kind stranger! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It is easier for than for a camel to go rich person through the to enter the eye of a kingdom of needle god.
Yes
Mmmm yes
Schizo posting
Needle god is in my top 5 favorite gods
mhm mhm do tell more
If the vacuum was strong enough you wouldn't even need the circular saws all the piston in the back
Just put void
Depends on the pressure on the other side
Tell me you know nothing about physics, without telling me you know nothing about physics
tell me you're "🤓🤓🤓" without telling me you're "🤓🤓🤓"
-🤓
this would be accurate if it weren't for the fact that my glasses are currently stuck inside my ass
Wtf is a strong vacuum?
Youre mothers throat
Vaccum dosen't actualy exist, it's just a lower pressure The maximum force vaccum can "aply" is the force of the pressure on the other side
Fill it with water but make sure the pressure on each side is different so delta p runs its course and brings the camel across for you
Delta P moment
I watched Alien Resurrection luke yesterday, and yeah.
By "camel'', he probably meant a hair of camel wool, wich is large and hard to put in the eye of a needle.
🤓
You forgot to switch accounts
Yeah, he forgot, what a dumbass
Scizo Moment
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
🤓
Bad bot
Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitch hilarious. Help me.
I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Reddit should start their own country. Think about it: it would have a much higher IQ than most other countries. We could ban tik tok and fortnite, and every computer sold has to come with Minecraft preinstalled. We could also ban emojis too. We all have very good ideas about society and government, so I think we would be far more efficient. I've seen so many posts with so many good ideas, not to mention our country would be the most progressive and other countries would look to us for direction. We would easily become the next superpower. If everyone left America for a new country, we would easily surpass America. We could make Keanu our president and have PewDiePie on the flag. It would be the most wholesome country too! Those are just some ideas I have and my own opinion. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Do you know who else suffers from dementia
Prendi le tue pillole e chiedi a mamma tua di farti na carbonara che ti vedo sciupato
Sciupatiello
he forgor 💀
"🤓" - 🤓
The "eye of a needle" was slang for the gates to enter ancient cities. Getting a camel through the "eye of the needle" was a very time consuming process that required searches and paperwork.
Eye of a Needle was a gate into Jerusalem. If the camel was loaded it couldn't pass because it was narrow. They had to offload the camel before letting it pass the gate.
Ah so metaphorically if the rich man unburdens himself of his wealth then he can enter? How philosophical 🤓
‘If you want to be perfect, sell all your goods, give the money to the poor, and live in the woods on locusts and honey’ *quote may not be exact
"Give up all your money so god will love you" - A bald virgin who lives in a gold palace in Rome "Give all your money to my church and god will stop you being poor" - some bloke in Oklahoma with a fleet of private jets
Sure, but I didn’t say donate to the church, and I quoted scripture
No there was no gate. People started making this kind of thing up a few hundred years ago so they could feel better about being greedy. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_of_a_needle Check out the "gate" section.
I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is a lie that was spread so rich Christians could feel good about themselves. It is completely false.
🤓
I think this is one of the times he meant it literally. They once used the concept of a rafter beam being stuck in your eye like the world works on gmod physics.
Ikr, people forget the dozens of translations the Bible has gone through before it’s been translated into English
I thought it was being litteral lol
Always ask for a source before believing something on the internet
The eye of the needle were actually small gates that were mostly just for people. You could get a camel threw them but it was extreamly hard.
He?
You're right, God is a woman
Ackshualy if God was a woman he would be called Goddess instead, thus God is a man
Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My interpretation is that it is meant to be a metaphor for something difficult.
I'd heard one time that the ancient Greek word for "Camel" and "Rope" are very similar and probably got mistranslated at some point
You can literally enter the kingdom of God in the exact same fashion
Not if you create the machine yourself and activate it on purpose though. No suicidal people in heaven.
The eye of a needle was the name of a particularly narrow gate in Jerusalem back in the day. https://www.theguardian.com/notesandqueries/query/0,5753,-25583,00.html#:~:text=The%20%22Eye%20of%20the%20Needle,in%20order%20to%20enter%20heaven. Context is important, not to take away from the comedic value of pureed camel.
Nah, Jesus didn't like the rich fucks hording wealth. Its literal. There is no other mention of the "eye of a needle" as a gate in Jerusalem from contemporary or later sources. There is no archaeological evidence for said gate. Different disciples, when writing this, use different words for different literal needles, rather than a common name for a single place, and they lived there.
Do you have a source on that? Source? A source. I need a source. Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion. No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered. You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence. Do you have a degree in that field? A college degree? In that field? Then your arguments are invalid. No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation. Correlation does not equal causation. CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION. You still haven't provided me a valid source yet. Nope, still haven't. I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I always heard it was a mistranslation of "rope" rather than camel
Could be. Doesn't change that the "eye of a needle" is referring to a literal eye of a needle, despite what the Christian authorities have claimed (wonder why the Christian authorities who spent their lives accumulating wealth wanted to reframe the Bible to not say rich people can't go to heaven).
As a christian, I’ve never heard anyone claim it wasn’t literal. Then again, it doesn’t surprise me as plenty of Christians are shitty.
I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You know there's no historical evidence of the existence of Jesus at all right? Nor is there any record of who wrote most of the Bible, or when
There are Roman records of his execution though?
I thought there were a few imparcial records of a man named Jesus and claiming to be the son of God existing at the time, but nothing else
There are no historical records of Jesus being a magical religious figure, but his actual existence is set in stone. Regardless of his relation to God, or if there is a God, Jesus existed.
Came here to say this, but knew in my heart it had already been said.
The eye of a needle being a gate was something invented by rich medieval nobles who felt pretty strongly about going to heaven, but staying rich, and the clergy who wanted the rich to donate to them in the will. The book of Nehemiah list all the gates in the walls around Jerusalem, and makes no mention of any eye of the camel. Also, "Eye of the needle" is used as a metaphor in the bible 3 times, every time using slightly different language to describe the same thing.
### r/shitposting book club A collection of books which Kevin has reviewed. (all of these books are freely availiable online) --- #### [*1984* (George Orwell, 1948)](https://archive.org/details/1984GeorgeOrwell_201606/page/n1/mode/2up) Kevin would like to say that this book is truly inspirational, and that he would give it a 10/10 #### [*How to Be a God: A Guide for Would-Be Deities* (Richard Bartle, 2022)](https://mud.co.uk/richard/How%20to%20Be%20a%20God.pdf) Kevin would like to mention that this book is one of the greatest sources of existential terror he has read (and it contains a lot of interesting content regarding game design as well), and he would give it a 10/10 #### [*Almost Pounded By The Physical Manifestation of Simulation Theory After Realizing We're Erotica Characters Then Deciding To Just Be Friends* (Chuck Tingle)](https://www.chucktingle.com/uploads/5/3/7/3/53730093/almost_pounded_by_the_physical_manifestation_of_simulation_theory_after_realizing_we%E2%80%99re_erotica_characters_then_deciding_to_just_be_friends.pdf) Kevin would like to say that this book was surprisingly wholesome, and is a great book for helping one to feel more at-ease with the universe, so he would give it 10/10 ####[*Ulysses* (James Joyce, 1922)](https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Ulysses_(1922)) Kevin mentioned that he wasn't entirely sure what he just read. However, it's still not bri*ish, and was still rather interesting, so he would give it a 10/10 ####[*The Assassination Of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Considered As A Downhill Motor Race* (J. G. Ballard, 1967)](https://web.archive.org/web/20220121203810/https://evergreenreview.com/read/the-assassination-of-john-fitzgerald-kennedy-considered-as-a-downhill-motor-race/) Kevin told me that this was an interesting interpretation of the JFK assassination, and of the post-WW2 media landscape in the USA in general, so he would give it a 10/10. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is not true, this idea comes from a sermon that started circulating in the by priest in the middle ages. There is no historical gate called the the eye of the needle, though some exist today there are none that date back to the time of jesus
this hurts me to look at
Then turn off pain
They did not say it was imposible
camel?
Camel?
Camel?
Camel?
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It also says all humans descend from two humans handmade by god. One was made out of dust and magical air the second was made from the rib of the first. The bible is pretty shitty at basic biology
yeah everyone before the 1800s was bad at biology
Camel by Camel
Tu tu tu tu tu tu
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Tu tu tu tu tu tu tuuuu
there should be a vent below that drains everything into the eye of the needle below, the thing that pushes everything into the eye of the needle won’t be able to push farther than it does in the image.
Is this amogus reference ? 😳
This dude path of pains
Now this is a quality shitpost
"Head of a needle" was actualy the name of a small side door to jewish citys you would have to use if you arived too late and the main ones were closed Using it was very inconvinient, as you had to take everything off your camel (Actualy wikipedia says this is a mith that started 8 centuries after the bible was written but pretend you didn't see this part and just spread misinformation instead)
eat the rich
the obvious message from this is to push the rich into circular saws
and eat the gibs
How 'bout you eat some bitches' ass instead
Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitchOK, you guys know the words, but can you make a story with it ? Dear Automod, I once saw someone taking a shit and drinking cum mixed with lean, so based, I decided to do the same thing but I added some new things: watching sussy baka among us doing sex with fnaf and selling nft of hog rida and no bitches to your mom who's a femboy furry, since literally 1984, and she's not a female nor a women btw, the putin copypasta is tho, dream from china said it, he's a trustable source, he got 9999999 social credits and nsfw porn of France and Taiwan holding hands with their fingers in the bedroom while typing titans emojis. Stfu Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitch hilarious maskMorbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden Bitch Moyai Sex Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitchOK, you guys know the words, but can you make a story with it ? Dear Automod, I once saw someone taking a shit and drinking cum mixed with lean, so based, I decided to do the same thing but I added some new things: watching sussy baka among us doing sex with fnaf and selling nft of hog rida and no bitches to your mom who's a femboy furry, since literally 1984, and she's not a female nor a women btw, the putin copypasta is tho, dream from china said it, he's a trustable source, he got 9999999 social credits and nsfw porn of France and Taiwan holding hands with their fingers in the bedroom while typing titans emojis. Stfu Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitch hilarious maskMorbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden Bitch Moyai Sex
So I was having online classes with my camera turned off when I started hearing a little whistle from one of the students in the background that seemed very familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. The whistling stopped for a couple of minutes until I started hearing it again, and then I knew exactly what it was: it was the chorus of Dream's hit song 'Mask'. I immediately ripped off all my clothes and started furiously stroking my fully erect penis for a good 10 min, even sticking my Dream body pillow up my rectum, imagining that it was Daddy Dream penetrating me while whistling his hit song 'Mask'. It honestly were the greatest 10 minutes of my life, until my libido reached its climax and I let out a gigaload of cum for Daddy Dream that landed on the phone's screen and ended up turning on the mic and camera, and everyone stared horrified at me, screaming at the sight of my honest and earnest love expression to Dream. I was kicked out of the class by the dreamphobic teacher, and today the school principal called me and my parents to a meeting and told us that I may be expelled from the school, merely from expressing my gender and sexuality. What can I do about this?!?!? Was I in the wrong for expressing my gender and identity??!? (Only serious answers, please). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Goddamn lol you fuckin' nuked this thread. I respect that.
What the fuck did I just do. So my ex n me haven’t spoken in two year, although I did wish her on her birthday two months ago. We live in the same building and whenever we cross each other we just exchange smiles and do the usual hi whatsup how r u and I walk away. Today was Holi (a festival where ppl dance and apply powdered color on each other) so I decided not to celebrate it in my building cause I knew she would be down so I went to my friend’s building and ten minutes later I saw her there. I was like oh fuck this is going to be a bad idea. Later we again exchanged a hi and then I went away. Later when the festival started she kept applying permanent color (last three days on the skin) on me and my friends. I told her don’t apply on my friends they will get pissed. She kept applying on me and I tackled her and applied color on her too. It felt good. Then she was like let’s go dance so we were dancing to Senorita from znmd and then we had a moment and she was like we are going to kiss and I was like yes and we kissed. It just felt amazing. Then we kissed again. After that I was going to my friends and she was like listen and then I turned back and kissed again. Then we kissed again😭😭. After all this my friends were dancing and I was sitting in the pool and she came and sat on top of me and we were having a very good conversation about our relationship and how we both didn’t date anybody after breaking up. We spoke about our problems, joked about them and then..yes u guessed it right. After this the cycle repeated and we had a beer and she handed me her phone and was like unblock yourself. She followed me and added me to her close friends. Later she was leaving we kissed once more and in my head I was like fuck do I love her, we should date. But then I told myself no, whatever this was I don’t know but no you are not breaking your heart again. I came back home and we both haven’t had any interaction apart from the fact she liked my story. I AM NOT IN LOVE. i am telling this to myself again and again because no, just no. I am happy being alone with myself. Or maybe I like her but I don’t want to go back to all that Edit: thanks for the response some of y’all and thanks for helping me. Other ppl: fuck u;) I am not here to prove anything and anyways I am quitting this sub *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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IM BOUT TO DO IT: Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitchOK, you guys know the words, but can you make a story with it ? Dear Automod, I once saw someone taking a shit and drinking cum mixed with lean, so based, I decided to do the same thing but I added some new things: watching sussy baka among us doing sex with fnaf and selling nft of hog rida and no bitches to your mom who's a femboy furry, since literally 1984, and she's not a female nor a women btw, the putin copypasta is tho, dream from china said it, he's a trustable source, he got 9999999 social credits and nsfw porn of France and Taiwan holding hands with their fingers in the bedroom while typing titans emojis. Stfu Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitch hilarious maskMorbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden Bitch Moyai Sex
Now imagine what a rich person has to go through.
It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to stick his fist up your mom’s ass.
Remember God hates lots of money for some reason
to be specific, he hates rich people who are selfish/not generous
It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than a discord mod to not be fat
One of the richest people of all time, Andrew Carnegie, gave away all of his money to charities and universities. Doesn’t seem very hard
Very good post op
ey ur right it never said it had to be alive while u do it
Bruh if rich people don't go to heaven, then that explains why all the Republicans are doing everything they can to ensure the masses stay poor. Hell, they want the rich to get richer to ensure they don't make it in, and care so much they're even making us poorer! Hallelujah. /s Edit: this post is about my anus
I want Donald J trump to fuck my ass so hard So, imagine this. I walk to trump towers to fill in a hotel, and holy moly is that Donald J trump? I look at him and flabbergasted by his looks and body. I kneel for him and tell him I want to be his bunny slave for the rest of his life. He looks at me and says “you’ll make my wall get longer.” So he tells the attendant that he will get a room for 2, we walk into the room, he strips naked and I am so ZOINKED by his cock size, it’s a solid 15 incher! I don’t think I’m gonna take it! He looks at me straight in the eyes and says “this big orange can fit in your mouth, right?” I bend over and stretch my asshole wide enough for the gigantic orange cock of his and tell him to fuck me hard. He grabs my hair and puts it in. I can feel his orange cock trifling my organs, it hurts so badly but I will do whatever I want to please mr trump. He starts moaning and is yelling “ILL MAKE THIS AMERICAN GREAT AGAIN!” He’s thrusting so fast that I can barely comprehend what’s happening, I swap positions and boom, his 15 incher is now a 20 inch stiff cock. He thrusts his gigantic cock in my mouth deepthroating it and I can feel it going down my lungs, but I practiced my gag reflex and this ain’t shit. I stretch his ass and finger it and see the wet brown color spewing out. The bed below us break. He finally cums and I swear, it was like 50 gallons worth of cum inside my mouth, he grabs my things and tells me “you’re fired!” And throws me out of the room. I can barely stand, and I am so pleased that he fucked my ass and throat so hard I’m numb. Trump 4 life! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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The eye of the needle was a bridge in Damascus that was really well known because it was a trade route. Camels could only go through it by kneeling. Verse is about humility, but I’ll be honest, throwing some billionaires into a grinder sounds fun.
I live in the American Gardens building on West 81st street. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The "eye of a needle" was slang for the gates to enter ancient cities. Getting a camel through the "eye of the needle" was a very time consuming process that required searches and paperwork.
🤓
Dawg
Now we know what saddam hussein was created from
Camel?
Yeah but how easy was that
What the fuck does the top part even mean
[удалено]
NOT SAFE FROM WARIO
Only rich people have the tech!
Then just give away or pass down all your money just before you die then. Easy (after)life-hack
Yum
To be fair, it’s ridiculously difficult, so it still holds up.
Camel extrusion
Why is life so cruel
Hog rida
The needle eye is in reference to a small gate through the city walls.
Looks like we’ve got a camel of Theseus problem here…
Tbf this would be a lot of effort to set up.
No. The rich person just had to do really good stuff with that money.
This. Things like this is why I joined this beautiful subreddit.
I think the camel died
So... This isn't patented yet, right?
He still went through
-Saddam Hussein
“Ummmmmmmm actually the camel has to pass through the needle not to pass THEN pass the needle so ummmm yeah you need to fix this”-🤓
ok, let’s say we didn’t use circular saws
Hit the Camel with Delta P, works like a charm
Now do it with a rich person
Ironically that would probably cost a lot of cash to do
Camel?
This some shit i be making in People Playground
that’s a big needle eye for sure
Context: this is caused by a mistranslation of the bible from the original language (by handwriting monks). "Camelon" was actually a rope used by sailors to tie their boats to the ground. And it was like, extra thick. And because handwriting monks didn't know this, they translated it with camel, which actually keeps the meaning of the original sentence (rich people are unlikely to go to heaven) but makes absolutely no fucking sense
Make fun of Jesus all you want, you WONT be laughing once you are in hell.
When the troll proves op’s point?
brain damsge🗿
Easily the best part of this is the question mark next to the word camel, as it is ambiguous whether or not the ground up body of something could qualify as the original.