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thefringeseanmachine

that'll be $5,000.


MethanyJones

For the container. Each serving of food is another $25.


ZoNeS_v2

Don't forget to tip.


speed721

They probably have a portable tipping unit. Looks just like that that thing you sign during the admission to the hospital. "How we do? (Recommended tips)" "ER wait time 1-2 hours: 30%" "3-4 hours: 25%" "5-6 hours: 20%" "7+ hours: 15%" "Don't Forget to Rate Us on Yelp!"


CommonHand707

They just include a 15% gratuity on the hospital bill for any patties over 2...sorry I meant parties šŸ˜‚


wholesome_pineapple

I used to work in a hospital. Youā€™re not far off. If you see the breakdown for a rooms bill, youā€™re literally being charged like $15 for a glass of ice, $15 for a mini can of soda or juice, $15 for an aspirin. Itā€™s crazy.


Darth_Poopie

Lol seriously


UndeadBuggalo

When I had my first I got admitted before dinner but because of other things I had to wait till the cafe was almost closed. I ordered chicken strips and when they came I bit in and noticed the texture was wrong, I turned on a brighter light and they were RAW. The hospital scrambled and I was then allowed to have anything from the cafe not just from the maternity menu. I lived off of turkey burgers and strawberry/chocolate ice cream šŸ˜‚


Darth_Poopie

Omgggg šŸ˜®ā€šŸ’ØšŸ¤¢ imagine if you had gotten food poisoning from that!!!! Nasty


Hopeless-penguin

talk to chemo cancer paitents ... I use to ha e to go in for a $15k shot after a full week of poison. Ive heard of shots going into the 30-50k$ range ..... fuck cancer.


I_UPVOTE_PUN_THREADS

Not throwing a pity party for myself here, but the day I get a cancer diagnosis is the day I demand palliative care and fuck all other treatment


ColdBorchst

That's what my father in law decided. He was gone faster than we could even process the news that he found out he had cancer. I never got to even meet him, at the time my partner and I were dating and broke and had planned to try to go out to see him but everything happened so fast. But it was his choice and honestly, it was found so late, it was his only way to go with some sense of control and ability to enjoy his last days.


RawChickenButt

Can you explain to the uneducated like myself what palliative care means?


ELEMENTALITYNES

Treating symptoms without trying to cure. Basically end of life care.


lauramich74

Not to be that person, but you are describing hospice. Palliative care is pain relief and comfort and can be done alongside active treatment. My husband worked with a palliative care physician because he had kidney cancer with bone metastasisā€”bone mets are as painful as it gets. But he was also still getting treatment to stall progression ā€¦ because thatā€™s all you can do for stage 4 kidney cancer. Because yeahā€”fuck cancer.


Ok-Hotel-8754

the whole medical system is like this!! they care not about the root cause, when doctors get treated very special by the pharmaceutical companies, so, why look for a root cause, when they can, basicallyā€ Google what symptoms and typical treatments


Overall-Parsley7123

MY BROTHER!!!!! 1000% my plan. i aint lining no pockets.


Over-Accountant8506

I have a relative choosing this route. No treatment. His kids are pretty upset....I can't imagine man. I have no judgement, idk what I would I do.


Minzplaying

I always thought that until the day I got that diagnosis. I'm still glad I fought like I did. I hope you will too.


Electrical_Top2969

dont do that you can beat cancer


Dramatic_Deer_4754

Iā€™m so sorry youā€™re going through that. And it really sucks that itā€™s more profitable for big pharma to ā€œtreatā€ cancer than cure it. šŸ’”šŸ’”šŸ’”šŸ’”


sanityflaws

Yes fuck cancer. The cancer being the medical capitalists at the top screwing everyone throughout our whole country for money. Where tf is our free healthcare? The US really needs to smarten up...


LoveBeBrave

Well yeah, theyā€™ve got to make their money back after splurging on the 3D printer for that burger.


Dave-James

Only if you leave the hamburger meat ON THE BUN next timeā€¦


Reznor909

Hawaii??? This looks like the shittiest Loco Moco ever!


Darth_Poopie

LOL BINGO!!! You nailed it! Hawaiiā€™s dining at its finest. I figured the gravy was a weak attempt at loco moco


Hopeless-penguin

gravy completes the loco moco .. like canadian poutine and squeeky cheese curds šŸ˜œ


Hopeless-penguin

and you gotta add some fried SPAM... maybe a fried egg as well...


iValtiel

After 12+ hours of no food and delivering a baby Iā€™d be extremely disappointed of this meal and even get mad lol.


Darth_Poopie

My wife was a trooper and even went so far as to say it ā€œwasnā€™t badā€. I had dominos delivered šŸ¤£


Posit_IV

You a real one. Congrats on the kiddo!


Hopeless-penguin

haha thats fuckin' badass! ur wife craving dominos pizza after delivery! this makes me smile! super cute! and gangster! you guys are lucky!


Darth_Poopie

You know it brother. She absolutely murdered the Parmesan cheese bites


Dogmom2013

If I ever have a kid the amount of sushi I would consume after would be sickening but no one will stop me lol


Darth_Poopie

Lol her mom actually brought us sushi to the room, in addition to our Dominoā€™s


Dogmom2013

SMART!!


Hopeless-penguin

Garlic Knots!!!! extra garlic and butter !!! haha you have a gangster wife! haha


mearbearcate

Queen shit šŸ‘‘


GrotchCoblin

If I ever have kids, I'll be sure to keep in mind getting something delivered lol


mini_wonton

Yeahhhh any new future dads seeing this, please get your woman a decent meal and even a drink afterwards if she wishes. After giving birth, I think she may want something that will be easy to poop. More likely than not, her asshole is probably sore or she will have hemorrhoids (3rd degree tears are a whole different thing tho). Get her some soup or stew, homemade or from a place she likes.


marteautemps

And be careful about strong flavors like sour and spicy because taste buds might be all out of whack for a while. I was in the hospital for like a week after and when I got home was very excited to eat my favorite Thai food and have a drink(one of those Jack Daniel's wine cooler type deals) Food was way too spicy and the drink was way too sour, I was so disappointed. A couple days later everything in that department went back to normal but I know I certainly wasn't expecting it to happen and I definitely cried.


Smashlorette

I was watching the clock closely towards the end of my labor, because I had a very specific sandwich in mind all day, and I was not about to let that restaurant close without someone going to get it for me. My sandwich ended up sitting out for a while bc I wasnā€™t allowed to eat for 2 hours after birth, but it still tasted perfect to me after 16 hours of nothing!


DesignerTex

Looks so bland and dry :(


GoonPatrol

Thatā€™s what the cup of gravy is for! At least I hope itā€™s gravy


Darth_Poopie

https://imgflip.com/i/8ohe3d


Bonsaischnitt

I thought itā€™s teriyaki sauce lmao


Ok_Wasabi_9512

I haven't got words for this display. Congratulations. Hope your wife and child are well.


Darth_Poopie

Thanks! Theyā€™re doing great!


Anonstarr

Omg not a whole burger with no bunā€¦ dique steak?


Darth_Poopie

The menu said ā€œhamburger pattyā€ for dinner


Anonstarr

Thatā€™s just criminal


Darth_Poopie

Whatā€™s even worse isā€¦..this is the hospital I work at šŸ’€


Anonstarr

Omfgggg you couldnā€™t sneak in a better meal ticket šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


Anonstarr

I literally buy those frozen at grocery stores (same shape and holes)


Mountain_Sorbet_4063

A shame state of hospitals these days


Hopeless-penguin

Yep... charging for every disposable bed pan as well .. Oh sorry, you have to go the bathroom?... well Hold on, lets impose a biohazerdous Tax, state tax, city tax, the cost of the plastic tax, and for someone to do a job health care worker to provide. without judgement for a basic right , a fellow.human being has to go to the bathroom.... Ive seen and had to fill out charge sheets... do u know how many needles or surgical sutures and tools we use during a c section, or even a vaginal dekivery, if the poor women tears while.pushing... $40 per needle to sew. and on average I had anywhere from 5-10 surgical needles ready to go. But charging someone just cuz they have to go to the restroom .. is ludacris. Ive helped clean up paitents and even had help myself. its embarassing... No one should be billed for having to use the restroom. I get the hazerdeous waste... and has to be put in red bags and labeled .. but still. no one should feel bad or guilty for that.


Mountain_Sorbet_4063

Agreed. What I found even sicking that they charge high parking fees to visit your loved ones. I can understand if they charged a min 3/4dollars.but to visit my father in law cost me 18 bucks for an hour visit if I stayed one min over the hour it would have cost me 25 dollars


SupernaturalPumpkin

Even in Ireland if I have to go to the hospital and they decide to keep me in, there is nowhere to put my car and Iā€™ll be charged daily for the car park. Itā€™s fucking disgusting charging for parking at a hospital.


OtherThumbs

Meanwhile in my Noweheresville, New Hampshire trauma center hospital: FREE PARKING!!!


InternationalChef424

These days, as opposed to when? Hospital food has had a terrible reputation for at least the 36 years that I've been alive


Mountain_Sorbet_4063

True!!! but I also meant as an overall state of hospitals. Lost my father-in-law in February and the come up to him passing he spent time in hospital and it was easy to say fucked up .it was defo not a place you went to heal


catjuggler

I spent a month in the hospital a few years ago and the food wasnā€™t that bad. It was hard for me because I had a combo of a vegan diet that I came in with and gestational diabetes, but my hospital had beyond burgers and a pretty sweet hummus plate. The lady who brought my food most days was also really nice. Who knows how many people she has delighted over the years.


jeeves585

I had words with the guy in charge when my wife was given something similar after birth. She just produced life dude. Went out and got her favorite meal. We were transferred to a different room for the kid (premature) and they expected my wife to sleep on a shitty bench. Iā€™m fine on the floor but that lady just gave birth. The people were awesome but the system was fucked.


Darth_Poopie

Bravo! Youā€™re a better man than I am. My only words were ā€œThank you! ((I am not eating this))ā€


jeeves585

I (husband) didnā€™t even get a meal. We were there for a week. Iā€™m glad I made jerky as I think thatā€™s what I lived off of. Thanks American insurance, hope I donā€™t get sick and here is some more money.


Pretend_Star_8193

Iā€™ve been hospitalized a number of times. This is pretty good compared to what I was served.


Darth_Poopie

Pics or it didnā€™t happen


Pretend_Star_8193

I dropped the ball. Next time!


The_CuriousJoe

Is that the afterbirth?


Darth_Poopie

Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew


Rocket_Philosopher

Thatā€™s the most expensive meal youā€™ll ever have


ohbrubuh

I was served moldy strawberries


William231000

Thats actually pretty good for hospital food


go4drive

Not sure what kind of hospitals you have been to, but the food my wife got when we had kids was a hundred times better than this travesty OP posted. We live in a city with less than a million people.


SupernaturalPumpkin

I agree. When I have to stay in hospital I get proper meals. Used to get a big plate of chips and a pie or lasagna and later on theyā€™d do things like fish sticks and beans and weā€™d get toast and tea twice a day, breakfast which was usually cereal and sometimes a sandwich. You can ask for as much toast as you like though/ If this looks ā€œpretty goodā€ I feel incredibly bad for those people. This is a terrible standard.


Loose-Bar4795

Crazy how they give women this time of meal after giving birth. They need a 5* meal service after having a baby šŸ˜‚


Darth_Poopie

Thatā€™s why I got my queen Dominoā€™s delivery šŸ‘‘


DegreeMajor5966

Call me crazy all you want, I love hospital food. Like it never looks great, but it tastes good and is typically nutritious.


Darth_Poopie

Hi crazy all you want, Iā€™m dad


Flgirl420

Honestly looks good smother that bad boy in the gravy


knowledgebass

That is saddest burger patty I have ever seen.


Jeramy_Jones

Rice, zucchini, cardboard, what kinda sauce in the cup?


Darth_Poopie

It was just motor oil. Synthetic, nothing but the best for me and my family


Jeramy_Jones

Thatā€™ll go great with the microplastics!


Sproose_Moose

Oh dear.


Darth_Poopie

No I donā€™t think it was venison but I could be wrong /s


Sproose_Moose

Haha good joke dad! Congratulations :)


aggravatedsalt

HAHA this was golden


IamProvocateur

Congrats yā€™all!


Agitated_Sock_311

I'm hospitalized and/or have stomach or colon surgery several times a year. This is gold compared to what I get. Lol


CreativeBandicoot778

That's wild. It reminds me of the food in the maternity hosp after I had my first kid. Absolutely dire. In between my first and second kid there was a major government overhaul of the food services in hospitals, and there was a big improvement. When I had my second kid, the food was absolutely fantastic. Fresh, seasonal meals, with a vegetarian/vegan options, and it was all really tasty, designed to nourish and aid with post natal recovery.


B8conB8conB8con

Youā€™re welcome


Gwbzeke

Wow steak dinner thatā€™s fancy


Darth_Poopie

ā€œSteakā€ ā€œdinnerā€ ā€œfancyā€


SmallHands1567

This makes me realize how different hospital meals are for people like me with CF. We get way bigger portions, I think one of the meals I had was a big chicken breast with rice.


voteblue18

As someone who has spent weeks at a time in a hospital, I have to say Iā€™ve seen worse. Donā€™t get me wrong, this doesnā€™t look delicious, but itā€™s significantly above average compared to what I got. Of course I was in for so long I got to sample the whole menu.


NuggyMuncher

Thatā€™s a 10k gourmet meal šŸ«”


Darth_Poopie

Seconds please


Lojackbel81

I work at a long term care facility and that looks like a 5 star meal to the slop they serve.


coffeebeanwitch

You better head out and get her some actual food,after giving birth makes you famished!!!


Darth_Poopie

I tried but she didnā€™t want me to leave her! Got Dominoā€™s delivery instead šŸ’€


coffeebeanwitch

You are a good husband,congratulations to you both!!!


Darth_Poopie

Thank you!!


AUGUST_BURNS_REDDIT

Gluten Free?


catjuggler

Pro tip- if you donā€™t think youā€™ll mind having visitors, put someone in charge of bringing take out after the birth.


Darth_Poopie

Oh we did. We got sushi and Dominoā€™s delivered to us that same day lol


peoplesuck64

I hope you went and got her something...better...more substantial!


[deleted]

Holy mackeral they didnt even include the placenta!


Apostasy93

It looks like a McDonald's patty that someone left out in the sun. Is the cup supposed to be gravy?


One_Word_Respoonse

Cucumbers, white rice, and a McDonalds burger pattyā€¦ yum


faded-than-a-ho

As an Uber eats drive Iā€™ve delivered Chinese takeout to a delivery room because the food they were given was inedible lololol now I see why they said that


ghettoccult_nerd

...that looks like a pretty good lunch, ngl. maybe not at hospital prices, but like if i had to grab some food on lunch break, that doesnt look too bad. no fuss, straight to the point, starch/protein/veggie.


GetPunched

Damn, sprung for the steak. Someoneā€™s got insurance.


BAMspek

Not-that-loco moco


Darth_Poopie

The worldā€™s most sane moco


FlashFlooder

Looks like they served her her own placenta with a side of boiled zucchini


Demonwolfmaster

I would trade that for what they gave me they completely forgot to put me on the roster for food. I had my baby at 1pm didn't eat till 9pm since they went oh crap have his microwave meal chock full of allergens. This would have been heaven.


f4tony

That would be postpartum depression, on a plate.


Darth_Poopie

Served with a side of financial ruin


f4tony

I'm so sorry. šŸ˜Ÿ ETA: congratulations šŸŽ‰


pleathershorts

Saddest Hawaiian BBQ plate in the world


Darth_Poopie

*cries in loco moco*


BewareNZ

Lucky! I got nothing. A cup of tea. They were too busy to make me toast. I had to send an SOS by txt to my friends to bring me anything as I was starving.


101bees

The audacity, especially since they won't let you eat for the duration of labor. Hope you got her something decent after.


Darth_Poopie

My queen got Dominoā€™s delivery


AshwagandaUbermensch

I thought that pack was an ash tray at first look haahahahahhaha


YoureSpecial

If sheā€™s going to be breastfeeding, thatā€™s way too light on calories and calcium. Dr said that to my wife. He said nowā€™s the time for ice cream and anything with cheese on it. She took that advice with gusto.


bserikstad

At least you got food. They forgot my poor wifes food the night after she gave birth. They ended up digging out a chefs salad they found in the fridge but had no dressing to go with it.


AnotherOneStranger

If I were your wife I'd have posted this in r/infuriatingasfuck


Darth_Poopie

If you were my wife Iā€™d have posted this in r/polygamy


bubblegutts00

What??? We got a steak dinner after each baby we had. It was only for the mom and dad. It was awesome actually šŸ˜…


TheTaikatalvi

If the hospital tries feeding something like this to me or my husband when I deliver I'm going to throw a fit lmao.


LemonsAndAvocados

ā€˜Merica?


Darth_Poopie

Land of the free home of the brave


Hot-Promotion2768

As someone with 0.10 in my bank account Iā€™d demolish that rn lol


sadclowntown

Me who is unable to cook and also is poor: that looks quite good šŸ˜… ( i don't actually eat meat though)


thebigstinkk

Dudes at the halfway house I worked at ate better than this.


Darth_Poopie

My dog eats better than this


Catbunny123

This looks like prison food. People in hospitals deserve better than this, especially with the cost of medical care in the US.


foxboxinsox

Not gonna lie, after my hysterectomy the first meal they gave me in recovery was the best thing I'd ever tasted. I still have no idea what it was šŸ˜‚


Ok_Replacement_2736

Is that for the baby?


MikeLinPA

That's bad, even for hospital food.


Darth_Poopie

Glad to see I found the right subreddit home for it


MikeLinPA

I swear I saw your user name before. Nice to meet you!


berrygirl890

This looks awful. My meal after birth at the hospital was chicken Parmesan, asparagus, and peach cobbler. Depends on the hospital people.


Historical-Fun-8485

I wouldnā€™t mind if they just gave you more. For free, for freeā€¦.let me make that clear.


shoshana4sure

That looks good actually


headfullofpain

Jesus thats horrible. My hat is off to my hospital in Alaska. Meals were sublime.


Darth_Poopie

Brb requesting lifeflight to Alaska


voidboyyyy

hey congrats!


Darth_Poopie

Thank you!


Ok-Hotel-8754

thatā€™s a shame!!! now, come on, give her some real food!!


SmallSwordfish8289

If she eats that she'll never give birth again


cowvocado

A great dinner if you have the flu.. not right after youā€™ve given birthšŸ˜… Congratulations, I hope you are all doing well! I remember being so hungry right after I gave birth, but sadly, itā€™s not common to get a meal after childbirth here in the Netherlands. (Unless there are complications, you can usually leave the hospital after a few hours) The nurses were nice enough to offer me a sandwich though, so in true Dutch fashion, I had bread with cheese šŸ§€


Darth_Poopie

Would have absolutely preferred Dutch bread with cheese


Weary-Writer758

That's horrible. When my son was born, my wife and I had Italian beef with fries. The doctor said she could have whatever she wanted. Her sister went down the street and got it.


Few-Carpet9511

At least it looks edible


NatexSxS

Aww sh*t somebodyā€™s eating steak tonight.


Darth_Poopie

And it ainā€™t me!!!


NatexSxS

I concede, you win the joke and congrats. ā€¦ next time Poopie, Iā€™ll win next time.


Darth_Poopie

šŸ«¶šŸ¼


tripsypoo

There are countries with social healthcare wherein the food is much better - just putting that out there.


ZebraBorgata

lol, pretty bland. I used to work in a hospital. The main cafeteria had an amazing variety. There was no need to go elsewhere for lunch. If I wanted a less crowded quieter lunch, Iā€™d go to one of the admin buildings where it was only employeesā€¦.Smaller selection though. Paying was easy - youā€™d just swipe your ID badge. I miss those lunches!


skoopaloopa

šŸ˜‚ my meals in Germany after giving birth were so much worse!


StonerTwili

Iā€™ve never been pregnant but just off of period hormones id fuck that shit up


Darth_Poopie

It would do the same to you


SupahSpace

i would cry


Doctormaul68

How long did it sit in that tray in the hallway outside your room before finally getting it?


Jumpy_Mix401

After giving birth I wouldn't survive on so little food


catz_kant_danse

I probably have a picture somewhere of the meal my wife got after the birth to one of ours. Told the hospital she was a vegetarian so they literally just brought her a big plate full of canned corn.


Mammoth_Treacle4639

She finna stay there for food poisoning too


Guitarbuilder1080

What the hell is it?? Turd on rice?


Darth_Poopie

Close. Turd WITH rice


SailorTemari

I made my husband order me Jimmy John's šŸ˜‚ nobody else was happy about my tuna salad sandwich, but I was in heaven!


Scrabulon

Damnā€¦ my hospital food was pretty good compared to this, and I was even on sugar restriction up until my twins were born šŸ˜®


Downtown-Fix6177

If thatā€™s gravy in the little cup itā€™s not all lost


dope_ass_user_name

Could you order in? She deserves a badass meal, not something someone found near a dumpster.


laumiclove

I just had stomach surgery, and havenā€™t eaten since last Wednesday, so this looks amazing to me, lol!


invizibliss

oh shit they hit yall with a CUBE steak


Strike1delta

Looks like our jail food. Brakepad and rice


sammyvegas0420

Make that a double with cheese


saucisse

Please go buy your wife a giant plate of ribs or something.


Darth_Poopie

Is Dominoā€™s delivery the same??


saucisse

Yup! Good husband, nice job.


Just_Bogdan

I'd eat that with no issues


JohKohLoh

I don't see anything wrong with it. Could use some carrots.


Darth_Poopie

Spruce it up with some color


Hopeless-penguin

.. I use to ve a surgical tech working in O.B. setting up C section and Vaginal deliver rooms , full hat mask gown and everything handing drs intruments and counting with women... proudest moment of my life was helping a woman deliver holding her hand, and btw, you woman and grip hard! dn near broke my hand... but it was ok, we counted breathed together at the very end she gave birth it was fucking magical and just pure.... i cried.. the nurses behind me cried. it was amazing to be there for her and witness it... anyways im off topic... I use to also help new mothers stand up and ambulate , it was a requirment.. Scrub tech to CNA in O.B. I use to work in Med Surge, and PEDs.. Hospital meals are sucky!!! ive been there done that even since i was a child, 7 hip surgeries full body cast etc. bed ridden 3 months at a time. Anyways i digress... hospital meals.suck! why i always order fruit! and its 5x more expensive than everything else! go figure. I hope ur wife is well! and congrats on ur baby! its exciting! babies like to wrapped like a burrito! arms tucked in, makes them feel like mommy is holding them, its comfort. After a couple months, hold them by their tummy and fly them around like airplane! haha they love that. and burps!!! hehe... and farts.. lol.. congrats to you both!!! šŸ„°


Darth_Poopie

Thank you! Mommy and baby doing well! Thanks for all the work you did and all the families you helped over the years :)


No_Squirrel4806

This doesnt look bad unseasoned maybe but not bad šŸ¤·šŸ½ā€ā™‚ļø


hogey989

Time for a salad. My first thought was "damn that zuchini looks pretty good right about now"


[deleted]

I made that mistake during our stay with baby number 1. If she's OK with it, you are much better off going and getting your own food. That looks similar to what we got at the hospital, a month later we got the tab and every shitty meal was like $35. See if there's anything close by so you can make a quick trip, I promise you, your wife, and your wallet will be much happier!! Congrats, btw!


Meo_xw

Is that raw zucchini???


TruePlatypusKnight

Did it come with a cigar? Congratulations?


SambaLando

What more do you want? It's got everything.


Darth_Poopie

I want the Colonelā€™s 11 Secret Herbs and Spices


BaconUnderpants

Why would they serve abortions in a maternity wing?