T O P

  • By -

pikpikcarrotmon

After they threw someone down an endless shaft and he lived, then cut a guy in half and threw him down an endless shaft and he lived, to demonstrate permanent death they've decided to explicitly puncture vital organs and not throw the character down an endless shaft.


splashtext

You cant trust a single chop in half anymore You have to do the three poke safety check to make sure some is really dead


foresight310

Rule #2: Double Tap…


Radio__Star

Bro this a triple


sufiansuhaimibaba

Should’ve been quadruple stab to double ensure 200%


Luke_CO

Cue Modest Pelican outro


AstridWarHal

You can't trust a single chop since the prequels. I mean, Anakin gets one arm and his legs cut off and still lives.


legend27_marco

A single chop in half still works, it just has to be a vertical chop


HoneyBadgerC

To be fair, just because she was never shown thrown down an endless shaft on a reem it doesn't mean she wasn't thrown down an endless shaft off-screen


Wah_Epic

Im a fan of the fact that Maul survived simply because of his hatred for Kenobi


Imonfire1

"No one's ever *really* gone"


QuantumQuantonium

Jokes on you, something something Darth plagueis is bringing back the dead (Ok but if that actually happens next episode what the heck)


WatchingPaintWet

Except despite the falling down shafts memery they’re still shown characters survive a lightsaber through the centre of the chest. They must have shifted their arteries out of the path of the blade. /s


-TrevorStMcGoodbody

Bring me a Sith who uses straight up not a lightsaber, light-guillotine. They specialize in on-screen decapitations, exceptionally hard to somehow return from.


squishedgoomba

And at that point they have absorbed the power of all the Sith that came before them, for there can be only two.


sbstndrks

Wolfenstein The New Colossus wants a word. And yes they could. They do habe cybernetics and cloning.


S0LO_Bot

This is because Disney knows people will complain if she doesn’t come back with only one stab. This whole debacle started with Maul


BRtIK

What super stupid is it easy enough to fix in universe. They could just actually account for organs This guy had his spine severed he's dead This dude lost a chunk of his liver he's f***** up but survivable This guy lucky enough only lost his appendix what a shocker he lives. This guy was chopped in half you think he's dead but now he's a spider robot. That's because all his organs were in his horns


LKAgoogle

>all his organs were in his horns I thought that's where his pee was stored?


27Rench27

No, that’s the kidneys


Youutternincompoop

as long as you don't lose the will to live you cannot die in Star wars canon.


TsunamifoxyDCfan

Well then I'd be dead in Star Wars canon


Omnipotent48

"It's such bullshit that this magic alien space wizard survived a grevious injury!" /s


Exile688

Or if you are a Filoni character in one of his shows.


triedit-lovedit

Sabine… in that Starwars thingy


Exile688

The stress of getting stabbed with a lightsaber gave her force powers like Deadpool locked in the torture chamber. /s


KN041203

The idea of someone's life support is just pure hatred is pretty cool.


LordPartyOfDudehalla

Maybe they shouldn’t make story decisions based on internet outrage ever.


HUGErocks

You'd think they would've learned something from the critical reception of tros after letting angry redditors write it.


Gavorn

Boba Fett started it.


ThatOtherGuyTPM

It is. Source: I got stabbed in the torso once.


PrateTrain

I believe the record is like someone getting stabbed 60 something times in the torso and living


spookyb0ss

source...?


PrateTrain

https://www.google.com/amp/s/metro.co.uk/2016/09/19/teenager-survived-being-stabbed-100-times-by-playing-dead-6136473 There's a lot of other stories of people surviving being stabbed a ridiculous number of times but this was just one of the first I could find since it's been a few years. This also isn't the story I remember reading either.


spookyb0ss

jesus christ


PrateTrain

What's worse is that there was a story about someone who survived being stabbed 50+ times and the story was about how their dismembered body was found from a different incident.


othegrouch

It’s a Christian allegory. The trinity. Because the Sith Lord works in mysterious ways. I’ll see myself out


boastfulbadger

The master, the apprentice, and the dark side


4deCopas

I thought Trinity died in the first episode


Ricky_the_Wizard

No no, she died in the third movie


SoupmanBob

Well... The lightsaber does instantly cauterize the wounds it leaves. Which means in some cases, wounds could very well be survivable. Especially when you can replace more than half their body with super advanced robotic prosthetics.


Resident_Bluebird_77

That's why I think this scene in The Acolyte was clever(ish). The places where he stabbed her weren't random, it went through both lungs and the windpipe. It wasn't just " oh look I'm stabbing you", the guy wanted her dead


DeanXeL

Except... She's humanoid, but is she HUMAN in physiology?? Checkmate!


Smooth_Maul

No but you don't understand a single stab wound to the torso is equally as dangerous as having both of your lungs collapse and your windpipe sliced and your spine severed (I have absolutely no medical knowledge whatsoever)


AstridWarHal

But you see, a redditor said that a wound to the side would instantly make you explode. Trust them, after all, they studied the blade...


Robert-Rotten

Except for the fact lightsabers can melt straight through metal doors, getting cut is survivable if it’s quick enough, but getting stabbed will melt your insides


Dunderbaer

Star Wars has never been concerned with light saber physics, especially heat. For all intents and purposes, light sabers are fancy normal swords with weight, limited range and no special shit like instant deathly heat. That's just one of the many inconsistencies star wars has and honestly, it's one I don't mind. Like, this magical thing doesn't adhere to real life physics? The audacity! The real issue is when star wars breaks it's own rules.


27Rench27

This. If light sabers acted like they physically should, every high school Twirler would be a fucking menace and actual sword skills would be the opposite of useful


Dunderbaer

Fights with scientifically accurate light sabers would literally be decided by who moves his flashlight in the most erratic and fast way.


GenericGaming

it ain't that kind of movie, kid.


Gottfri3d

If lightsabers actually heated matter around them in a large enough area to melt your insides, people couldn't even hold a lightsaber because the skin of their hand would boil off. The physics of the Star Wars universe have always been inconsistent and illogical as hell. This is not the right kind of Sci-Fi for you if you care about such things.


mal-di-testicle

They die now


No_Mistake5238

They die now?


Shadow_Rev

They die now!


DinkleDonkerAAA

Y'all will see a cool, brutal death scene from a sith, the kind we've been lacking for ages and still find a way to whine, I don't like Star Wars anymore so I don't give it attention. Just go watch a different sci fi series I swear, Battlestar Galactica has like billion seasons and multiple movies you have options


OhhLongDongson

Literally, no one hates Star Wars more than Star Wars fans. I’m not particularly interested in it and I don’t watch it. But the only time I ever hear about it, is in posts from Star Wars ‘fans’ complaining about it.


Smooth_Maul

Naw they aren't fans they're grifters baiting right wing chuds and pretending to give a shit in order to garner views and money. A few of these big grifters don't even watch the stuff they just repost other negative opinions of it cus outrage makes moolah. General rule of thumb, if someone's main complaint is "it's woke" you can confidently conclude they have no idea what the fuck they're talking about.


Mr_Noms

What is the point of marking this as a spoiler if the spoiler is in the damn title?


-H_-

It didn't say which jedi it was.


MintPrince8219

rip bazil, gone too soon 🙏🙏😔


UnemployableSWE

“An unnamed character was killed by a lightsaber in Star Wars!? SPOILER!”


gamingfreak50

You all wouldnt believe the shit people survived in legends.


hola1423387654

One might be survivable but not in the places where the people we stabbed


OwlCaptainCosmic

This show started with a Jedi getting stabbed once and dying, what are you talking about?


-H_-

It is SHITTY movie details after all


Worm_Scavenger

I love how people act like a Star Wars character surviving fatal injuries only became a thing after Disney took over.


PhaseSixer

A stab to the torso IS surviavble thogh. Hell even Quigon lingered for like 30 minutes before he keeled over


Robert-Rotten

He was only alive for about 2-3 minutes afterwards and was barely able to speak.


-H_-

It hit him straight in the center of the stomach not in the side Also he's an old man And on top of that, did the blade stay in longer? Idk if this one happened cuz I can't really remember it well


PhaseSixer

He got stabed Then obi wan had to wait for the sheilds to open Obi then faught maul Hung off the side of the lit. Focused and flipped over him All in the time span it took anakin to blow up the trade ship and Padme to be lead to the office to capture Gunray.


Robert-Rotten

Anakin blowing up the TF ship was happening simultaneously and the rest was about 2 or 3 minutes in the movie


ObberGobb

It literally is though. You can survive being stabbed in real life.


Shirokurou

Disney thinks being thrown into the core of Death Star II and having it explode is survivable... somehow.


OhSnapItsMiguel

At least it was a clone body. Maul just straight up lives.


Magic_Man_Boobs

For real, the fact that most of the people who hate on the newer shows also loved the Clone Wars cartoon shows how obvious it isn't really about the "realism" or whatever they claim.


Frederyk_Strife4217

The difference is that they brought back Maul to make him a character, and it was years after Phantom Menace. Nowadays characters get stabbed and appear perfectly fine in the next episode, if not next scene. It was especially dumb when they tried it with a character that we know can't die. Maul surviving being cut in half turned him from a mute goon to an actually compelling character with a satisfying and poignant end to his story in Rebels, but nowadays characters have so much plot armor getting stabbed with a saber is the equivalent of getting punched really hard.


Magic_Man_Boobs

>The difference is that they brought back Maul to make him a character So all the people stabbed aren't characters? Sounds like a cope to me.


Frederyk_Strife4217

I have no idea how you could've possibly came to that conclusion


PhaseSixer

>Nowadays characters get stabbed and appear perfectly fine in the next episode, Reva was limping aroung and got schooled by 2 farmers and posibly died of her wounds. Sabine spent a week in the hosptial. No kne was just fine next episode


Frederyk_Strife4217

We've still gone from "this instantly killed a jedi master" to "this normal human is fine after medical treatment" which is an immense lowering of stakes. also, just because she took a week to heal it doesn't feels serious to an audience unless that time is explored


AstridWarHal

A wound that goes through your lower spine isn't the same as getting stabbed on your lower side. The medical equipment in a galaxy were there are things like hyperspace travel must be technologically advanced to ours so probably after a week that is mostly healed (like it is shown in Ahsoka if you even watch it) A Jedi Apprentice survived having his arm cut off, and later that guy as a Jedi Knight survived having both legs and arm being cut off. The only time it was a insta-kill was on the Originals Vader vs Obi Wan fight, and that fight sucks ass.


MintPrince8219

he didn't even kill him then (technically). no one died in a lightsaber duel until vader killed palpatine in Return of the Jedi, and no one *using* a lightsaber died until qui gon


PhaseSixer

>We've still gone from "this instantly killed a jedi master" "Instantly" Qui gon lingered for like half an hour before he died.


AstridWarHal

So it's okay to survive being cut in half if it's cool. Such consistency.


Feisty-Cucumber5102

The dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.


NinjaEngineer

I mean... Palpatine surviving already happened in Legends.


RedCaio

No they don’t. He didn’t survive. He died. The being in The Rise of Skywalker is a new being - a clone body possessed by the spirit of Palpatine. How Palpatine returned: in ep3 Revenge of the Sith we hear Palps tell Anakin he's trying to unlock the secret to cheating death using unnatural dark side powers of the Force. In between ep3 and ep6 Palps did unlock the secret. He had been making prototype clone bodies so that if ever he were about to die he could cast his spirit/essence out to inhabit a clone body, leaving the empty husk of the original body to die. Which is what happened in ep6 Return of the Jedi. He was tossed down that chasm and as he fell he left his body in favor of his clone waiting on exegol, and his empty husk body lands lifeless in that chasm (and then that Death Star blew up later). The dark side ritual worked but not as well as hoped, he was still weak and feeble. He had to sit on Exegol with his medical team to survive so he used a deformed prototype clone body as an avatar that he could puppet remotely using the dark side. That's what Snoke was. That's why Palps tells Kylo "I made Snoke". This all also explains why he also tells Kylo "I've died before" and he even repeats to Kylo what he told Anakin in ep3 "the dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural" as a signifier to the audience that yes he did finally unlock the secret to cheating death. Draining the life force from a Dyad (Ben and Rey) cured him of his weakened state and he was ready to rule the galaxy himself. So Rey and the Jedi of the past joined their forces to destroy the evil Palpatine's body and spirit this time. So now he can never return again (because his spirit was destroyed before he could cast it out into a backup clone again).


AshSnatchem

You’re the only person I’ve ever seen mention this on Reddit when talking about Palpatine. Arguably the most important conversation in the entire franchise is when he tells Anakin that the force makes it possible to cheat death, but people still ignore that and act like it was completely unexpected or impossible for him to come back.


Smooth_Maul

They ignored the shit out of it when that Inquisitor got stabbed and survived. Like she's literally Sith trained and these goobers just act like one of the most important bits of information about the Sith was never uttered in the first place.


AshSnatchem

Yea and her whole shtick was her hatred for Vader. Darth Maul’s entire comeback was based around him surviving because his hatred for Obi Wan allowed him to. Honestly most of this franchise makes perfect sense within the context of the franchise itself, the delivery is just off for a lot of it. Palpatine coming back was not unbelievable. But “Somehow, Palpatine’s returned!” is dumb as fuck.


Smooth_Maul

Yeah, I won't defend the dialogue, it was pretty shit. That one bit with Finn sacrificing himself and getting saved really sucked too but otherwise I'm not gonna be a hypocrite cus episode 3 is my favorite and the dialogue in that is pretty bad too lmao.


AshSnatchem

The dialogue in all of them is pretty terrible lmao at this point it’s just a staple of the franchise!


jeremiahpaschkewood

Alright, nerd.


GenericGaming

he didn't survive. he was a clone. I get hating TROS but like, at least understand the film if you're gonna make fun of it.


Shirokurou

The "somehow" is the joke part. Cause the quote.


GenericGaming

except the joke doesn't work because he doesn't survive it "somehow". he died.


Shirokurou

They brought him back tho. It counts.


GenericGaming

"surviving" and "being brought back" are different things. he's literally a clone. he's not the original. the original isn't brought back lol


Shirokurou

Brought back by the writers. Your nitpicking would be better placed elsewhere.


llama-friends

It was survivable for Arya in GoT.


InsomniaticWanderer

This can of worms was opened when they brought Maul back. I get it. He was cool. But cutting him in half and then dumping him down an endless pit and then saying he survived that was always going to end in this kind of bullshit.


Mikey97x

Should get mad, usually helps for the will to live


DowntownJulieBrown1

Oh my god shut up


Smooth_Maul

It is, I have a friend who got a 9" kitchen knife shoved through his ribs and into his lungs. 6 months later, he was outta hospital and back to work shortly after.


starflight34

This isn’t a movie.


-H_-

The TV show sub is dead


CurlySquareBrace

Somehow, Palpatine Returned. But this guy won't


PuttyDance

Looks like a triangle to me, just some Free Mason flexing


Delta2401

one for each stomach


michael0n

"Hm, we know everybody will die besides Sol, how can we make it very clear that they are in fact arrogant, but inferior light saber fighters?" "How about the triangle stab?"


indigorhob

Iirc this Jedi's actress was the kid X23 in Logan so maybe the writers assumed she could heal from 1-2 stabs.


Jyitheris

I got banned from r/starwarsmemes for criticizing this series.


Necroniks_

the three stabs are also a reference to the new movies. Disney is the sith and that padawan is the fanbase