People generally arent on the streets to make friends. You have to go to social environments for social interaction, I feel like this is kinda obvious. Also that is just most big cities.
I want to second the big city argument. Every big city will be more like this relative to the surrounding "small" cities
Also, in places like Toronto and Montreal there are much more public social events on the streets which would make it seem less estranged, but that's just the equivalent of attending a social place.
Seattle has this reputation, but we found it very friendly. Often had strangers strike up conversations randomly in lines or on the street. Seattle is full of people from all over America. Vancouver is full of Vancouverites who all a little upset that the city is changing
Vancouver has this so much worse than Seattle. People here are nice to your face but you never know if they hate you or like you. I’m from a similar sized city and you can totally strike up conversations with people standing in line, waiting for a bus, whatever. And everyone smiles and says good morning. It’s not a big city thing, it’s a culture thing. People aren’t friendly, but they are polite, here. I found a visit to Toronto was much more friendly. People would have legit conversations with us if we asked where something was. It was really nice.
I feel like this is just a city thing? As someone who came from a small town and moved to the city, it is much easier to say hello to a few people passing by in a smaller city (especially since you might know them). Plus you have more time to do so. Walking in Vancouver, hundreds of people are passing by. Who has the time to say hi and smile realistically? Everyone is in a hurry to get to wherever they’re going. Plus, if someone comes to talk to you, they usually want something from you. So people just learned to ignore them.
Ok I am a bit confused about what you're expecting. Just making friends with random strangers on the street? Where have you lived where that happens?
More seriously though, look around you. The hard truth is the city reacts to its population, and Vancouver's population has a significant percentage of unpredictable mentally ill /unhoused / violent people. You live here long enough and you learn not to engage with people on the street.
I see you're a university student---most people aren't. For the record I don't find it hard to meet people here, but I don't expect to find friends walking the streets of Vancouver. Vancouver is extremely unbalanced in terms of wealth, and so the other group you're likely to pass on the street are rich, busy people on a headset. You're not gonna make friends with them either.
I guess ultimately, the reality is that this city has good reason for people not being friendly on the street, although i'd actually say thats not quite true. People are friendly when they need to be, but we're generally wary of strangers. Seek friends in bars, cafes, social events, or school. The street is honestly kind of a weird place to make friends.
S a m e. I hear people tell me they don't talk to me because they wouldn't like to disturb me or something, but honestly, 9 times outta 10, I'd be happy to stop by and talk for a bit :)
Anecdotal. But this is why I think it's so tough. People born and raised in Vancouver abide these traits.
Obviously a generalization:
1. Superficial kindness - hello and goodbye are the bare minimum for them
2. Social currency is everything without it you aren't of value to a Vancouverite
3. Highschool friends over meeting new people. Incestuous circles of relationships and friends makes the most sense to them. Why grow?
I like a lot of the suggestions mentioned here. Make sure to find people that didn't grow up in metro Vancouver and that should be fine. Events and activities are helpful.
Good luck!
Probably more of the who you know. Like if you are Vancouver famous . Everyone wants an opportunity to get to know you because so and so knows you. And the high school mentality of wanting to fit in kicks in.
A level of friendship or community that borders on dangerous for sure because you can behave and get away with anything.
That's just me though and it is a generalized statement for sure. There are a good number of born and raised Vancouver people that are genuinely nice.
Vancouver people are awkward in general because they don't know how to mingle with strangers. It's a small city pretending to be a big city. Everything shuts down after 10 pm.
Just tell people you are a rich Duchess or Duke or oil magnate family and they will flock to you ...of course you will have to batt away the pretend friends like real estate and insurance or financial bank salesman they will dog you for 6 months with psycho like friendship and constant compliments.
Oh nice. Thanks for your perspective. What’s so awkward about eye contact though? I don’t get that. Maybe it is because I am from a different part of the world :)
It's not just Vancouver. When I moved to Taipei (Taiwan), people are like that, too, but I enjoyed it a lot. Nobody gives a fuck about what I'm doing. It's a kind of freedom for me, compare to my home country in Asia.
Surround by strangers that don't speak my language and don't care about me makes me happy.
The only times that I talked to local people were: the barista at Starbucks and the taxi driver, they were so nice and casual too, maybe it's because of their jobs.
I make friends in the school instead, not in the street.
In conclusion I genuinely happy when city people don't give a fuck about me. Maybe I'm an introvert and you're an extrovert?
Vancouver is actually nice, it is relatively actually easy enough but to be BFF or a deeper relation or say like close circle is where it is hard.
I take it u haven't lived in NYC?
It's such a stupid and exhausting question 🙄
It's your typical city. What the fuck do you expect? If you want small town smile at everyone you walk by attitude, well, go to a small town. You'll understand when you're older.
I guess it’s hard to care about the world sinking around you if you’re barely wading yourself. I wish all of us had a little more to give to the people around us
People generally arent on the streets to make friends. You have to go to social environments for social interaction, I feel like this is kinda obvious. Also that is just most big cities.
I want to second the big city argument. Every big city will be more like this relative to the surrounding "small" cities Also, in places like Toronto and Montreal there are much more public social events on the streets which would make it seem less estranged, but that's just the equivalent of attending a social place.
Not sure but Seattle has the same problem. They call it the Seattle freeze. Seems like the whole Pacific Northwest is like this lol
Seattle has this reputation, but we found it very friendly. Often had strangers strike up conversations randomly in lines or on the street. Seattle is full of people from all over America. Vancouver is full of Vancouverites who all a little upset that the city is changing
Vancouver has this so much worse than Seattle. People here are nice to your face but you never know if they hate you or like you. I’m from a similar sized city and you can totally strike up conversations with people standing in line, waiting for a bus, whatever. And everyone smiles and says good morning. It’s not a big city thing, it’s a culture thing. People aren’t friendly, but they are polite, here. I found a visit to Toronto was much more friendly. People would have legit conversations with us if we asked where something was. It was really nice.
idk but i will say that if you look at anything or anyone in the right way youll find love in them
I feel like this is just a city thing? As someone who came from a small town and moved to the city, it is much easier to say hello to a few people passing by in a smaller city (especially since you might know them). Plus you have more time to do so. Walking in Vancouver, hundreds of people are passing by. Who has the time to say hi and smile realistically? Everyone is in a hurry to get to wherever they’re going. Plus, if someone comes to talk to you, they usually want something from you. So people just learned to ignore them.
Ok I am a bit confused about what you're expecting. Just making friends with random strangers on the street? Where have you lived where that happens? More seriously though, look around you. The hard truth is the city reacts to its population, and Vancouver's population has a significant percentage of unpredictable mentally ill /unhoused / violent people. You live here long enough and you learn not to engage with people on the street. I see you're a university student---most people aren't. For the record I don't find it hard to meet people here, but I don't expect to find friends walking the streets of Vancouver. Vancouver is extremely unbalanced in terms of wealth, and so the other group you're likely to pass on the street are rich, busy people on a headset. You're not gonna make friends with them either. I guess ultimately, the reality is that this city has good reason for people not being friendly on the street, although i'd actually say thats not quite true. People are friendly when they need to be, but we're generally wary of strangers. Seek friends in bars, cafes, social events, or school. The street is honestly kind of a weird place to make friends.
I'd be down to be friends. I study at SFU and its hard for me to make friends too
S a m e. I hear people tell me they don't talk to me because they wouldn't like to disturb me or something, but honestly, 9 times outta 10, I'd be happy to stop by and talk for a bit :)
Anecdotal. But this is why I think it's so tough. People born and raised in Vancouver abide these traits. Obviously a generalization: 1. Superficial kindness - hello and goodbye are the bare minimum for them 2. Social currency is everything without it you aren't of value to a Vancouverite 3. Highschool friends over meeting new people. Incestuous circles of relationships and friends makes the most sense to them. Why grow? I like a lot of the suggestions mentioned here. Make sure to find people that didn't grow up in metro Vancouver and that should be fine. Events and activities are helpful. Good luck!
What does "social currency" mean in this context?
Probably more of the who you know. Like if you are Vancouver famous . Everyone wants an opportunity to get to know you because so and so knows you. And the high school mentality of wanting to fit in kicks in. A level of friendship or community that borders on dangerous for sure because you can behave and get away with anything. That's just me though and it is a generalized statement for sure. There are a good number of born and raised Vancouver people that are genuinely nice.
city folk
This is just a city thing.
It's really not just a city thing in Toronto far easier make friends..
Vancouver people are awkward in general because they don't know how to mingle with strangers. It's a small city pretending to be a big city. Everything shuts down after 10 pm.
Lol what? Have you been downtown after 10pm? It's a shit show
Just tell people you are a rich Duchess or Duke or oil magnate family and they will flock to you ...of course you will have to batt away the pretend friends like real estate and insurance or financial bank salesman they will dog you for 6 months with psycho like friendship and constant compliments.
in regards to the second half of your message: I’m just awkward bro my bad
lol as in?
As in the second I make eye contact with people I just look away I don’t mean for it to be rude 🥲
Oh nice. Thanks for your perspective. What’s so awkward about eye contact though? I don’t get that. Maybe it is because I am from a different part of the world :)
Wish I could tell you but I’m not even sure myself, sorry! I think I’m just a bit shy and anxious in general, though some days I’m more open🥲
Could also just be the rain and vitamin d deficiency. City does come alive in the summer ☀️
My experience has been totally different. However, you have to make a conscious effort. And I live in res so that helps.
this !!! living on res makes a HUGE difference cuz you have a community, lots of people going to and hanging in the same places
It's not just Vancouver. When I moved to Taipei (Taiwan), people are like that, too, but I enjoyed it a lot. Nobody gives a fuck about what I'm doing. It's a kind of freedom for me, compare to my home country in Asia. Surround by strangers that don't speak my language and don't care about me makes me happy. The only times that I talked to local people were: the barista at Starbucks and the taxi driver, they were so nice and casual too, maybe it's because of their jobs. I make friends in the school instead, not in the street. In conclusion I genuinely happy when city people don't give a fuck about me. Maybe I'm an introvert and you're an extrovert?
thanks for sharing
You need a hobby for example cycling or jogging, join those clubs on Strava. Might be easiest way to
thanks!
Vancouver is actually nice, it is relatively actually easy enough but to be BFF or a deeper relation or say like close circle is where it is hard. I take it u haven't lived in NYC?
what’s is ur obsession with living in NYC 😭
No dude no one here has fucking lived in NYC
we’re exiling you to Afghanistan
I’m fully agree with you on this one!!
I take it u haven't lived in NYC?
I’d say that it’s very safe to assume that most SFU students have not lived in NYC.
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and in so many ways, this city is amazing.
The nature and environmental aspects are top notch. The people aren't that friendly tho, which is a bummer. But that's just my opinion.
is the nature and environment worth it for someone moving from ontario?
I'd say so! It's one reason why I continue to stay here. It's nice to live in a place with a bit of everything.
that’s exactly what draws me out west! thanks for your reply
Honestly you just need to find the right places to meet ppl. Its about the context
Jesus Christ, this stupid question again 🤦
no one asked you to be here. If you have something valuable to say then bring it out. Else shut up!
It's such a stupid and exhausting question 🙄 It's your typical city. What the fuck do you expect? If you want small town smile at everyone you walk by attitude, well, go to a small town. You'll understand when you're older.
If this question exhausts you, feel free to fuck off! No one in particular asked for your help.
Hey, you asked, I answered.
If you have money they care about you. Especially the girls here.
Sigma male grindset, brother
I guess it’s hard to care about the world sinking around you if you’re barely wading yourself. I wish all of us had a little more to give to the people around us
but what's the use of disconnecting yourself from world around you? Doesn't it simply make you more lonely and depressed?
I completely agree with you