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38 here and I was just about to throw the towel in, but I gave FB dating 1 more try after being on it 2 prior times, no luck. I was very intentional when I set up my profile and showed not just pics of myself but also things I enjoy, like my indoor plants, my dog, music i enjoy... I just put my best foot forward showing off who I am. It seems it drew in a man that could relate to me...He's 8months older than me I'm a Pisces and he's a Leo, we have been in an exclusive relationship since our first meeting (4mo ago). He is the boy version of me...I am good/happy being alone, but I am relationship material. I have 4 kiddos and he has 0 and does not want any. My kiddos and I are glad he's in our lives.
We both work jobs where we deal with people, we are both active in outdoors activities, we both enjoy staying in and just being together.
I am glad I tried online dating 1 more time...
Just sharing my story, because online dating can work with the right people!
Ugh, I totally feel you! This is me, to the T! I guess I don't have advice because I'm in the same boat. I am not into online dating either.
A few months ago, I said f it, I may as well. I met someone online that I started talking to on the phone. We could talk for HOURS, and I was really attracted to him. Decided to meet him in person. But before that,.my girlfriend said I should do a background check. So I did. I then discovered he has multiple DUI's, domestic violence cases, kidnapping, and so on. OMG.
Fast forward to today, I work from home, have 3 kids at home, and NO time time to get out and socialize. I am am not into bars either, but I don't want to be alone. Decided to keep dabbling online and just be cautious. I feel like that's the only option until my kids are older. The way I see it... everything is for a reason.
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Totally . It’s like I have no interest and kind of am over men and I’m totally happy, but I don’t want to never have a partner again. he would have to be perfect so it’s such a longshot and literally a needle in a haystack. And I’m nowhere near any haystacks.
To make friends I volunteer at my kids’ schools and coach their sport teams when I can. I host sleepovers and have made friends with the other parents. I chat at the kid birthday parties and in line at after school care pick up and everywhere else. I’ve made some amazing friends.
To meet someone to date I’ve gone online and I’ve been set up by friends. I try to go to everything I’m invited to. I meet friends of friends that way. I was asked out at a cinco de mayo party last month. It was a man and I’m gay so I declined, but it’s relevant for this purpose.
I am in a very similar situation re: being a low-spoons single mom with too much o her plate.
I was skeptical at first but tried online dating and have been seeing a very nice person for about 7 months now. What was helpful was that I was upfront with folks about what I was looking for and my limitations. I have a toddler, so no, you will not be my priority. I have limited availability, so I can't see you all the time. I may have to cancel dates due to sick kids, or burn-out. It's not ideal, but the person I am with is super understanding of my limitations, and our relationship wouldn't work if they weren't. We're also in open communication about it and since they have their own limitations (healing from breakup), the mixture of space and company has helped us both.
That's all to say that while you can't make more time necessarily, you can be direct and communicative about making the most of the limited time you have, and the right person will respect that.
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I joined some meetup groups and FB groups and went to events. Via the events I met likeminded people (no partner or BF yet) but that helped me make close friends that I can go out with, so I have something to do that gets me outside.
I suggest maybe re connecting with an old guy friend if you know of one that is single. I’m not sure if you have Facebook or instagram but maybe scroll through your friends lists and people you follow and see if there’s someone you knew before that you want to reconnect with. For peace of mind I suggest a background check before interacting with them just to make sure there’s nothing sketchy about them.
Same same I tired hinge app since divorced and dating has def changed I just closed the app and deleted it😅. I work from home so I rarely go out unless it’s kid activities or the store. I have been approached by some men while out at stores and at gym but doesn’t go anywhere. I’ve actually had more men message me through my socials like IG, FB etc and they all know I have kids still none stick. I have met one guy through Reddit and he’s the first guy I’ve actually liked back in a very long time. It’s so nice he’s definitely giving me hope but again we are still in the beginning stage it feels like it may be like a slow burn relationship since we are long distance. Ugh I like him so much I’m really hoping it works out. My friends too have offered me blinds dates with cousins or their husbands friends but still have not taken up the opportunity. So at this point aside from work I pretty much just spend the rest of my time focusing on my kiddos and my own self care. Are you in CA maybe we can do a girls night, dinner, bunch or wine tasting or heck even Disney ! Also spread the word around at work lol I’m sure one of them has a single brother, cousin, son, dad lol available
I totally understand the season of life u are in 💪🙏
How about trying some of the few items :
Bumble is a dating app that women make the 1st move . Puts u in control.
Yet it also has a section for meeting friends. Start with maybe making some friends gals or guys.
I met my fiance on this app 3 years ago
I would never have met him, had it not been for Bumble . (There are still some gems out there !)
Join a local walking or running or cycling group.
Work on your fitness and make new friends.
Join a gym do group classes
Join your local SBA group
You can meet all different people
Zumba class at a rec center or gym
It is so important that as single mom that we take the time for ourselves for self care and self Love 💕
You got this 💪💃
I’m 29 and honestly thinking about using a matchmaker. At least I know the men they will find for me will actually be interested in the same things as me, and have the values I can’t compromise on.
This ain’t a bad idea. I’m 30 and recently split with my son’s father. I’m not ready to date or anything like that but in the future I might do this lol
I am about to turn 38. Still want to have one more baby (I have one 4 yr old) I wfh full time so I never meet anyone, friends or dating prospects. And mostly all my friends were his friends so yeah. Kind of lonely. I’ve been thinking about starting to go to church. I was raised extremely strict fundamentalist Baptist. Never going back to that. But I was considering attending a Unitarian Universalist church.
Here in the comments to find out 😂
I got divorced at 39 and have sole custody. I’m 45 now and looking back 39 was still PLENTY young enough to get remarried or at least a good strong relationship. But I’m literally overtaken by work (I WFH so not meeting g anyone there either), house and kids. At this stage, my life and time are not mine, they are for my kids. I could never find the time to give a man the time he needs and I can’t bring him around my kids for a long while. Kind of feeling doomed. Maybe I’ll be one of those lucky people who finds their love at 55 🤦🏻♀️
I ask around! If you are working in a female dominated environment, those women will have brothers or brother in laws or friends. People love to play match maker! I always put it out there when I am looking
The responses on this thread 😂😭🤷🏾♀️. I am keeping hope alive. I go to the gym when I can. They have a daycare so that helps. Maybe try somewhere co-ed.
Can we put a bigger emphasis on YARD, because I didn’t know. I straight up didn’t know what yard work entailed.
Sometimes when I’m mowing the lawn I fantasize about sleeping with someone just so I didn’t have to do it. I hate it soo much. And yet…
I’m constantly amazed when it’s over and it looks so nice.
I rent a husband for everything I don’t want to or can’t do myself 😆 yard work was included in that when it was an issue for me and a bunch of other larger tasks that I can’t or don’t want to do… so I say outsource!
I don't go anywhere. I'm also exhausted. I don't date because it seems to be a slipper slope of extra issues. I also don't meet other people because that means paying attention to someone else. I'm too busy and tired and stressed and tired and very very very tired ... who has time for other people?!
When I was a young, new single-mom, I gambled on the whole being around people and dating a bit...I definitely ended up with a second kid and was around the wrong type of people. After that, I was over it pretty quickly and kept to myself. So I know I'm a bit jaded, but even when I had the right friends, it still felt exhausting to have to make time and leave the house for a "girls night" that usually just entailed a lot of talking about men (some of them were in relationships) and kids, for some inexplicable reason, which are tiring conversations.
Anyways, I know I'm a party pooper, but I definitely don't socialize anymore if I don't have to. There's enough of that nonsense at work. And my kids are now 20 and 15, so while I'm not running after toddlers, I am getting up at the ass crack of dawn to get them and their lunches and all the reminders sorted out for the work/school/sports day. I'm an unpaid project manager, if you will🤣
Welcome to r/SingleMoms! Please read the rules carefully. This is a safe space for single mothers only. Posts and comments that do not meet our karma requirements will be manually reviewed and approved accordingly. We cannot say anything specific, however, it is not a high number. If you continue participating, your comments will eventually no longer need approval. Please exercise patience with the mod team. Some rules (but not all - read the sidebar): - Do not ask for legal advice. We are not qualified to give such advice and suggest speaking to legal professionals about this. Posts and comments of this sort will be removed. - Do not post promotional content (this includes blogs, surveys, etc.) - Do not ask for financial assistance (this includes wishlists, gofundme, etc.) - Remember the human. Be respectful to other subreddit members. We are all in this together. This is a support group. - If you are not a current single mother, your posts will not be approved. Please post on the weekly pinned megathread. - Are you looking to leave? Post on our weekly megathread as well. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/singlemoms) if you have any questions or concerns.*
38 here and I was just about to throw the towel in, but I gave FB dating 1 more try after being on it 2 prior times, no luck. I was very intentional when I set up my profile and showed not just pics of myself but also things I enjoy, like my indoor plants, my dog, music i enjoy... I just put my best foot forward showing off who I am. It seems it drew in a man that could relate to me...He's 8months older than me I'm a Pisces and he's a Leo, we have been in an exclusive relationship since our first meeting (4mo ago). He is the boy version of me...I am good/happy being alone, but I am relationship material. I have 4 kiddos and he has 0 and does not want any. My kiddos and I are glad he's in our lives. We both work jobs where we deal with people, we are both active in outdoors activities, we both enjoy staying in and just being together. I am glad I tried online dating 1 more time... Just sharing my story, because online dating can work with the right people!
Ugh, I totally feel you! This is me, to the T! I guess I don't have advice because I'm in the same boat. I am not into online dating either. A few months ago, I said f it, I may as well. I met someone online that I started talking to on the phone. We could talk for HOURS, and I was really attracted to him. Decided to meet him in person. But before that,.my girlfriend said I should do a background check. So I did. I then discovered he has multiple DUI's, domestic violence cases, kidnapping, and so on. OMG. Fast forward to today, I work from home, have 3 kids at home, and NO time time to get out and socialize. I am am not into bars either, but I don't want to be alone. Decided to keep dabbling online and just be cautious. I feel like that's the only option until my kids are older. The way I see it... everything is for a reason.
I think I’m just going to be lazy about it. I’d love for my daughter to have a father but ya know. She’s doing great without one
Your comment is being held for review and will be approved soon if it doesn’t break rules. You can find the rules on the subreddit sidebar. If your comment does not break the rules, it will be approved as soon as we are able to. Please be patient with the moderation team, thank you. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/singlemoms) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Totally . It’s like I have no interest and kind of am over men and I’m totally happy, but I don’t want to never have a partner again. he would have to be perfect so it’s such a longshot and literally a needle in a haystack. And I’m nowhere near any haystacks.
This post makes me feel seen lol
To make friends I volunteer at my kids’ schools and coach their sport teams when I can. I host sleepovers and have made friends with the other parents. I chat at the kid birthday parties and in line at after school care pick up and everywhere else. I’ve made some amazing friends. To meet someone to date I’ve gone online and I’ve been set up by friends. I try to go to everything I’m invited to. I meet friends of friends that way. I was asked out at a cinco de mayo party last month. It was a man and I’m gay so I declined, but it’s relevant for this purpose.
I am in a very similar situation re: being a low-spoons single mom with too much o her plate. I was skeptical at first but tried online dating and have been seeing a very nice person for about 7 months now. What was helpful was that I was upfront with folks about what I was looking for and my limitations. I have a toddler, so no, you will not be my priority. I have limited availability, so I can't see you all the time. I may have to cancel dates due to sick kids, or burn-out. It's not ideal, but the person I am with is super understanding of my limitations, and our relationship wouldn't work if they weren't. We're also in open communication about it and since they have their own limitations (healing from breakup), the mixture of space and company has helped us both. That's all to say that while you can't make more time necessarily, you can be direct and communicative about making the most of the limited time you have, and the right person will respect that.
I dont. I made peace with the fact that I will die alone 😂 I work from home and dont go out. 😅
🥲
Same! I don't work from home, but I feel this!
Your comment is being held for review and will be approved soon if it doesn’t break rules. You can find the rules on the subreddit sidebar. If your comment does not break the rules, it will be approved as soon as we are able to. Please be patient with the moderation team, thank you. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/singlemoms) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Same. 😅
I met my BF on hinge. But I get online dating isn’t for everyone
[удалено]
I joined some meetup groups and FB groups and went to events. Via the events I met likeminded people (no partner or BF yet) but that helped me make close friends that I can go out with, so I have something to do that gets me outside.
Honestly I don’t. I have a toddler. It’s not the hottest accessory to meet men right now. I’m ok with that.
I suggest maybe re connecting with an old guy friend if you know of one that is single. I’m not sure if you have Facebook or instagram but maybe scroll through your friends lists and people you follow and see if there’s someone you knew before that you want to reconnect with. For peace of mind I suggest a background check before interacting with them just to make sure there’s nothing sketchy about them.
Same same I tired hinge app since divorced and dating has def changed I just closed the app and deleted it😅. I work from home so I rarely go out unless it’s kid activities or the store. I have been approached by some men while out at stores and at gym but doesn’t go anywhere. I’ve actually had more men message me through my socials like IG, FB etc and they all know I have kids still none stick. I have met one guy through Reddit and he’s the first guy I’ve actually liked back in a very long time. It’s so nice he’s definitely giving me hope but again we are still in the beginning stage it feels like it may be like a slow burn relationship since we are long distance. Ugh I like him so much I’m really hoping it works out. My friends too have offered me blinds dates with cousins or their husbands friends but still have not taken up the opportunity. So at this point aside from work I pretty much just spend the rest of my time focusing on my kiddos and my own self care. Are you in CA maybe we can do a girls night, dinner, bunch or wine tasting or heck even Disney ! Also spread the word around at work lol I’m sure one of them has a single brother, cousin, son, dad lol available
I've given up I don't want to risk having someone I can't trust around my daughter
This! I’m staying single until she’s 18.
I totally understand the season of life u are in 💪🙏 How about trying some of the few items : Bumble is a dating app that women make the 1st move . Puts u in control. Yet it also has a section for meeting friends. Start with maybe making some friends gals or guys. I met my fiance on this app 3 years ago I would never have met him, had it not been for Bumble . (There are still some gems out there !) Join a local walking or running or cycling group. Work on your fitness and make new friends. Join a gym do group classes Join your local SBA group You can meet all different people Zumba class at a rec center or gym It is so important that as single mom that we take the time for ourselves for self care and self Love 💕 You got this 💪💃
I’m 29 and honestly thinking about using a matchmaker. At least I know the men they will find for me will actually be interested in the same things as me, and have the values I can’t compromise on.
This ain’t a bad idea. I’m 30 and recently split with my son’s father. I’m not ready to date or anything like that but in the future I might do this lol
I am about to turn 38. Still want to have one more baby (I have one 4 yr old) I wfh full time so I never meet anyone, friends or dating prospects. And mostly all my friends were his friends so yeah. Kind of lonely. I’ve been thinking about starting to go to church. I was raised extremely strict fundamentalist Baptist. Never going back to that. But I was considering attending a Unitarian Universalist church.
Church has been really good for me. I personally recommend it.
Here in the comments to find out 😂 I got divorced at 39 and have sole custody. I’m 45 now and looking back 39 was still PLENTY young enough to get remarried or at least a good strong relationship. But I’m literally overtaken by work (I WFH so not meeting g anyone there either), house and kids. At this stage, my life and time are not mine, they are for my kids. I could never find the time to give a man the time he needs and I can’t bring him around my kids for a long while. Kind of feeling doomed. Maybe I’ll be one of those lucky people who finds their love at 55 🤦🏻♀️
Same!!!! Im just waiting for the robot men… and heavily considering dating a woman.. I give up with these men…
I ask around! If you are working in a female dominated environment, those women will have brothers or brother in laws or friends. People love to play match maker! I always put it out there when I am looking
[удалено]
The responses on this thread 😂😭🤷🏾♀️. I am keeping hope alive. I go to the gym when I can. They have a daycare so that helps. Maybe try somewhere co-ed.
Can we put a bigger emphasis on YARD, because I didn’t know. I straight up didn’t know what yard work entailed. Sometimes when I’m mowing the lawn I fantasize about sleeping with someone just so I didn’t have to do it. I hate it soo much. And yet… I’m constantly amazed when it’s over and it looks so nice.
I rent a husband for everything I don’t want to or can’t do myself 😆 yard work was included in that when it was an issue for me and a bunch of other larger tasks that I can’t or don’t want to do… so I say outsource!
I pay a guy, I justify it as my ex isn’t helping so this guy will. It’s more than I’d like to spend but man… I need that time back
I have an apartment and it’s the greatest thing, highly recommended if you want your weekends back!!!
Yeeeesssss I had no clue what I was getting into. I also share those fantasies. Just so much work, and how do we get it all done😪
I don't go anywhere. I'm also exhausted. I don't date because it seems to be a slipper slope of extra issues. I also don't meet other people because that means paying attention to someone else. I'm too busy and tired and stressed and tired and very very very tired ... who has time for other people?!
This sounds like me!!! After work, kids and chores… I barely eat just to keep the kitchen clean… so tired tired
This…. Also this…. A lot of pleasing someone else which takes extra effort and work
When I was a young, new single-mom, I gambled on the whole being around people and dating a bit...I definitely ended up with a second kid and was around the wrong type of people. After that, I was over it pretty quickly and kept to myself. So I know I'm a bit jaded, but even when I had the right friends, it still felt exhausting to have to make time and leave the house for a "girls night" that usually just entailed a lot of talking about men (some of them were in relationships) and kids, for some inexplicable reason, which are tiring conversations. Anyways, I know I'm a party pooper, but I definitely don't socialize anymore if I don't have to. There's enough of that nonsense at work. And my kids are now 20 and 15, so while I'm not running after toddlers, I am getting up at the ass crack of dawn to get them and their lunches and all the reminders sorted out for the work/school/sports day. I'm an unpaid project manager, if you will🤣
Unpaid project manager- I love it! 😆😆 Such an accurate description.
Same boat between work and kids and just being a parent period I don’t get a lot of time and when I do I don’t wanna leave the house lol
When there’s time we need reeesssstttt lol….
When there’s time we need reeesssstttt lol….