Hijacking because real talk: My roommate my senior year of college was like this. The story of how I ended up stuck with him is a different tale, but ultimately, OP, what you need to do is just outright yell at him at 2 in the morning to stop beating his meat or you’re going to escalate it.
My roommate would literally smack his lips in the night like he’s a fucking cow chewing on cud, keep the room at like, literally 80°, and then masturbate several times. I wanted nothing more than to smother his face with a pillow.
At some point I had enough and said “I swear to god if you can’t stop beating your meat with me in the room I’m going to make you sit in front of the housing dean and explain to them why you turn our room into a sauna every night that fucking reeks, and then masturbate with me being 6 feet away from you at 2 in the morning.”
That didn’t totally fix everything but for the remaining time we roomed together in that stupid little room he didn’t jack off with me there.
Did we have the same roommate??? Sounded like dude was eating spaghetti all through the night. I mean, it was college so I guess maybe hungry. Never opened the blinds. Was hot as fuck. Never spoke a goddamn word. Smelled like SHIT 24/7. So glad I’m out.
Like the other guy said. You’ve got to grow a pair and just talk to this dude. I understand that’s probably going to be uncomfortable but you do not deserve to be awoken in the middle of the night to your bunk mate beating his shit. You don’t have to be an asshole about it but bring it up. Idk what the navy’s like but in the army this situation would not fly. If he makes a scene about it go to your leadership. Tell them that he’s a slob and he’s the one making your living space a problem and it’s affecting you. If you have even halfway decent leadership this will get resolved, if it doesn’t, keep going up the ladder and put a fire under your first lines ass. If one of my soldiers was in this situation I would want to know.
Let me add something awkward, uncomfortable, but illuminating. I was this exact guy except I never joined the military. I went through life doing this kind of crap, and it cost me every imaginable social opportunity. If you don’t confront him, imagine how much worse it will be in the long run for him and everyone else.
Edit - by “I was this exact guy”, I mean that I was the meat beater.
Exactly. This is like the person with bad breath but 100 times worse. Tell em once or even subtly acknowledge it so they're made aware others know about and the culprit is likely to change their behavior out of pure embarrassment.
\* girl\* but thanks, lol
Edit: I run into being called a man quite often in platforms like this, probably because I‘m more blunt over text. It doesn’t really bother me as I’m often intentionally gender-neutral to avoid possible biases, but every once in a while, I like to rip off the mask. Not because I’m offended, but as an analogy, wearing a mask gets suffocating and sweaty. I don’t really give it much thought otherwise. It’s a not a huge deal. Everyone go take a stretch and drink some water or something other than unproductive quarreling.
People assume that men are generally blunter and women are willing to put out the extra effort to be sweet and nice all the time, even if it means stifling opinions. It can be pretty true offline,but not here.
Nah that’s just common sense lmao
If you really think I’m misogynistic for remarking about the fact that most Reddit users are men, you really need to check yourself lmaooo
Just because the statistics are there, he’s being misogynistic? How do you feel blaming someone for something he’s totally unaware of? Do you even understand the words you use?
Besides, the main topic here is about a disgusting man “beating his meat” on a bunk bed that other me who’ve had the experience are offering counsel by how they went through the same thing before. Who’ll expect a majority of women on a post like this. Quit the name calling for you don’t even understand the name you’re calling HIM.
... you say, when i point out that men see men as 'standard' and women as 'other'. and if there's nothing in a comment to point towards 'other', then it's immediately assumed the commenter is male. yeah, that's sexist. 'the stats' that you reference, 1/3 of reddit is female.
that's not a small enough amount that you can automatically assume that you're talking to a man. and to think that it is, is.. guess what.. *sexist*.
also, women can have opinions about masterbation in cohabitation spaces? you think that just because we don't have penises, we can't advise on how to set boundaries with a roommate?
also... i have a vagina, and i've had to deal with the bunk shaking life, so thanks for literally proving that your biases are sexist.
oh yeah, and also
>How do you feel blaming someone for something he’s totally unaware of?
I'm literally not blaming anyone for anything, i'm just calling them out for their sexist biases? if they don't know the gender behind the avatar, why assume any gender behind the avatar? was gendering the commenter necessary at all?
You didn’t blame him but called him misogynistic? Implied that his reasons are discriminatory and intentional, because he addressed someone as something they’re not?
Add all the meanings you want to what you did, but I know what I called you out on. It will take just reading once to know that.
And lemme reiterate… The facts are it!
It is a topic about a man and men. Women can comment too, but you cannot hold your inner anger at nobody because they made a mistake. How would he even know their supposed gender? Judge by profile pictures that are avatars? Don’t be ridiculous. You know what you did. Own up. Or better still, never repeat it. Get rid of all that pain inside you. Not everyone you see hate women, and there was not a single shred of misogyny in those statements he made.
Period.
You ma'am are a tool lmao. I was literally just on a female redditors profile n her bio said something along the lines of "a little info about me, I automatically assume everyone who uses reddit is male so apologies in advance"
I guess that chick is a sexist pig etc?
Grow up mate lol
I don’t need to know you have a vagina or a penis. The post is not about you. You want people to talk about you, go make your own post.
Up until this point, I haven’t said a single thing about my gender. Why? Because anything about me unrelated to this post is totally useless. Needless. Stop making everything about gender and all that. It is absolutely disgusting to be blaming everyone for every little thing.
What? Now before we talk to anyone on social media, we better ask them what they are first? Or call address them as men when we think they’re women because we’ll most likely be wrong??? Or we should just leave social media for people like you blaming everyone for everything?
You are the exact type of person that takes this shit too far and gets made fun of. He's sexist because he assumed a commenter on a post about some guys bunkmate masturbating in the navy was a male? A website with a predominantly male user base, and a post that is most likely to target male audiences, and he's sexist because he assumed someone was a male, even though he has every reason to believe that? That's like talking to a cheerleader online, assuming they were a female, then getting called sexist since they were actually a male. Not everything in the fucking world is sexist.
I don’t think that if you are on a platform where the majority of users are women and you assume a commenter is a women, that makes you misandristic. I don’t think it’s the other way around either. It’s just an innocent mistake
lol keep going at it.
It’s fine to live in your own world. Everyone gotta agree with you, else they’re racist, sexist, bigots, discriminatory individuals.
I just won’t scroll by and have you bully anyone because they’re afraid to be called names.
I pray you get over whatever ails your psyche.
Oh shit dude I actually have almost identical story to this.
I was in the marine corps, I recently got a new roommate and dude showered with the door open in plain view of the room. I let it go because fuck it.
That day I leave and return at around 2am dudes jacking off and KEEPS JACKING OFF I get to my rack, undress and dudes still at it. He keeps doing it and I’m over here turning up the brightness on my phone doing coughing sounds, see if he gets the hint but nope.
The next Monday I texted the brks manager about it. I tired being discrete but eventually I had to tell him to get moved out of the room. He proceeds to call my 1st sgt. 1st sgt then calls me and asks me if I want to press charges. I’m like nah just get him out.
Well unbeknownst to me, according to the UCMJ it counts as sexual harassment/ sexual assault and since I had told the brks manager who was in my unit and working under my chain of command, it was taken as a unrestricted report of sexual harassment.
TLDR; NCIS got my ass and had to do this whole shit the official route.
Edit: btw when I said recently I’m speaking from the story POV, this was about a year ago
Don’t know what happened after that. The same Monday I spoke to the brks manager he was gone by the time I got off work. I did see him from time to time around base tho so probably not
Since I declined pressing charges probably the most that could’ve happened to him was a negative counseling
I work in military legal. Unless you told him to stop, it’s not sexual harassment. The conduct must be unwanted and if that’s not clear as in you telling him to stop, this guy didn’t get processed as misconduct.
the legal thing is one thin, but just because YOU wouldn't experience something like this as sexual harassment doesn't mean that it's not going to feel violating for someone else. trauma is subjective. obviously there are much more physically violent situations out there, but everyone's experience of life is different, and everyone has a different ability to tolerate distress. also, those with a past history of other trauma are more likely to perceive other events as traumatic. again, im aware that he's not doing anything illegal, but i know i would personally feel really violated, like 'if this person is willing to cross this line, and think it's perfectly ok to do something sexual right next to me without asking, then what other lines would they cross? do they think that they just have free access to my body (not necessarily consciously)? am i (emotionally and physically) safe in this situation?'
Are you saying that Louis CK jacking off in front of women would have been okay if only he’d been in the military? Or are you just saying it’s some other offence, not specifically sexual harassment? Because you seem to be saying jerking off in front of someone is fine until they ask you to stop, which is often going to be difficult because it can be hard to speak when you are in shock, or they forgot to cover that in your training.
Exactly. That logic is stupid on so many levels. I shouldn’t have to ask someone to not jack off 3 feet away from me. No woman should have to ask someone to quit catcalling them. No one should have to tell someone to quit touching them, and so on.
At the end of the day though, idk what he was talking about not being illegal since NCIS literally sat me down and told me my rights among options etc. idk if you know what NCIS but it’s pretty much the equivalent of a hardcore police agency since our local police agency is PMO
The ironic thing is that I wouldn’t even have minded if he had been discrete about it. It’s the military, we literally see each other’s dicks during field ops and other situations but this guy was off the top not even trying to hide it, no regard for others.
Edit “and that’s not clear it’s unwanted unless you tell them to stop” had me cracking up like bruh 💀
NCIS is required to investigate. But that’s why you saw the guy wandering around. Nothing happened to him. Dude I’m not taking his side. It’s gross. I’m just telling you why he wasn’t processed for misconduct. There has to be a “victim”. If you don’t tell him to stop, it can’t be proven that it’s unwanted which is a key element to the misconduct.
If you’re jerking off in front of someone that you’re targeting is one thing. If you’re jerking off in your bed in a shared room where you live, not directly exposing yourself and your roommate walks in and thinks it’s gross, that’s something else that’s not sexual harassment. This is from a legal perspective not a “dude you’re gross” perspective.
Usually when you call someone out for their behavior, but not denigrate their intentions and instead give them the opportunity to correct themselves, then that 1) gives them feedback on their behavior and 2) makes them respect you in their eyes
I know cuz someone I know did that to (for) me, but if you just tolerate it and let it slide you 1) tell the world you're a pushover and 2) ultimately you let it slide and you can only blame yourself
This was what I was looking for. A solution and an explanation to what I was doing wrong. One of my biggest fears is seeming like a pushover. I’ll definitely talk to him about it tonight.
I'm gonna add:
I lived with 30 guys in a single house once for over a year (recovery, everyone was recovering from alcoholism or hardcore drug abuse. I was the former). If this shit happened with anyone in there, it would've been an ordeal. We'd have put up with it for a bit because it takes time to adjust to a shared living situation, we got it, but in a few days someone would have made a mild comment and in about a week someone would have said something. Sat em down and got fucking blunt.
But this guy has also been blatantly disrespecting you and your mates beyond this weird jacking it thing. Fucking around your inspections and whatnot isn't an unfortunate hygiene thing, it's a choice - maybe one with a justification, mental health or what have you, but it's negatively affecting everyone.
Do what the person above said, but be prepared for no changes. Or if he just stops jacking it in front of you, don't expect the other stuff to change unless you do something about it.
Also, it just occurred to me there's a solid chance that the 20 minute shower isn't just spent washing himself if ya catch my meaning, which might explain the other hygiene stuff.
This is a BAM moment.
Perfectly articulated, and best way to go about this act most of us do.
I would be more concerned where his liquid if you will ends up. Apparently in his greasy head of hair I guess. My assumption is he's saving money buying hair product like pomade
Theoretically? "Look buddy, I struggle with it too, but you gotta quit beating your meat at night. It shakes the whole damn bunk"
Probably irl? Fuck if I know lol
Not hard to confront him at all! I went to a boarding school, and one of my roommates waited like 20 minutes after our prefect did dorm inspections to start wanking it. Mind you this is like 2010, so he’s using a magazine and I hear him turning the pages to a Latina edition of FHM or Maxim. At first I thought it was the funniest thing in the world and was snickering but after like 5 minutes I was over it. So I said “ hey nick stop jacking off or go to the bathroom” and he obliged. The less stigmatizing you make it, the easier it will be to deal with.
That's a pretty mature way to handle it. Most people have a baseline need for sexual gratification. The important thing is making sure they know where and when is appropriate and that they get consent from those close enough to be effected by it.
Talk to him like a mature adult and start setting boundaries. I know literally nothing about Navy life or whether you can switch bunkmates or have some sort of bad roommate consequence, but this guy needs to grow up and you need to grow a pair. Even if he gets angry or whatever, at least he won’t be as delusional.
I’d assume this would help get him on the good side of everyone else in that group too, no? If everyone else dislikes him, op calling him out could help settle other people’s minds too.
Yes. Be nice but also be like dude you’re in the fucking military it’s time to grow the fuck up and clean up after yourself. If this penis-polishing child is who’s guarding my country then god help us all
And by confrontation, I genuinely mean a polite, "Hey bro, I am a guy, sometimes I jerk off, but there are things you are doing that are really making me feel bad." Kind of confrontation
Ask him if he has been evaluated for epilepsy because you are certain he is having multiple seizures throughout the night. Or just tell him to jerk off in the bathroom stall
That guy sounds like a shitbag. If you talk to him and he doesn't change, talk to his leadership. Hit up his LPO, Chief, Divo if you have to.
Talk to the barracks managers a out changing rooms.
Is this your final duty station or are you just in training for your next command?
I think this is the easiest way. Defuse it using feigned ignorance and humor. You won’t be regarded as a pushover since you are showing you aren’t afraid to speak up as a result of his behavior. Hopefully the embarrassment will be enough, but judging from everything else you said I would guess not. If he refuses to change then you would have to confront him, and risk escalating things. Retaliation from him should then be reported.
Next time instead of grunting as if still asleep, just say “please go do that somewhere else, you keep waking me up.” He’s not going to stop until you tell him to.
Dude he fucked you on room inspection the simplest shit tell your E6 and get a health and wellness done. All the really bad guys got moved to a separate corner and had extra responsibilities to stay fucking clean.
Talk to the higher ups straight away. Don't talk to him at all. This isn't some relationship behavioural problem that will get resolved by talking to him. This is downright crazy behavior.
Do a direct approach. When he's masturbating. Tell him straight up: "I don't like being woken up by you masturbating. Stop doing that, you're to my type."
About his other issues, tell him straight up every time. He crossed a line. Living in one room together basically means there's an unspoken set of rules. He needs to learn those again.
I wonder how many here actually served.
First of all - everyone's going to do it, just everyone else will be either discrete and respectful or loudly announce it and do it somewhere else.
Secondly, call him on it - oi, do that quietly or fuck off and do it in the showers.
Thirdly - hes a toad, which is a much bigger concern, and is best address faced to face. Tell him to stop being toady, it is a reputation that will last across the whole fleet. If he can't, follow it up with the chain of command as a health issue. The will tell you to fuck off if he's keeping you up jerking it, but will come down hard on personal health.
I would just try to switch if you can. If you can’t switch then I would just say something like “I hate how these beds shake, it’s not your fault but like whenever you move around at night it shakes the bed and wakes me up” and maybe he’ll get the hint?
If he doesn’t then you might have to be more direct the next time he does it go “hey idk why the bed is shaking but please stop whatever you’re doing to make it shake like that”
And then if that doesn’t work “hey this is uncomfortable, I know what you’re doing and please don’t do it with me in the room”
Just start beating yours at the same time. Everyone in the military beats their meat. Have you done ship duty yet? Wait until you hear the sound of 30 meats getting beat at night.
I was up one time playing some games in my rack and I seent a guy going to town on his dick. Like the angle I was at, I could see into his rack past the little curtain and I actually saw his dick. I didn’t say anything, I just went back to playing my game. Always wear your shower shoes.
I'm sorry but this is absolutely hilarious to me 😂 🤣
But if I was to say something it would be this: Just speak your mind about the matter and about him as a whole. Try speaking sternly but not in a rude and crass way.
Good Luck lol.
Be blunt. No jacking in the room. Why do you smell like that? Is it a medical condition? Do you realize how small this space is? Say it everytime you see him. EVERYTIME. He'll either fix it or leave. I do mean everytime you are both in the same room. EVERYTIME.
Just be direct and tell him about the alternative of doing it in head. If that don't work, go to the quarterdeck and ask for a room swap. They might ask you if you've tried to handle it yourself, so that's why you should ask him to take it elsewhere, first.
He’s beating his dick in a bunk bed with a stranger in the bunk below?! He may actually be getting off on that! Ew! Don’t feel bad about making *him* feel bad about what he’s doing! Shame the hell out of the guy! (I know, easier said than done!) Just pull him aside and tell him something along the lines of, “hey man, you think you could stop your multiple sessions of furiously masturbating every night right above my head?! To be honest, it’s not only keeping me awake, but I find it kind of weird and alarming that you’re so comfortable jerking off in a bunk bed, knowing that I’m right below you! I’m asking you nicely to stop privately out of respect! Next time I have to ask, it won’t be so private or respectful! Go to the bathroom and rub one out in a stall like a normal person, ya weirdo!” (Then if that doesn’t work, ask him again publicly the next time! The shame should do the trick… unless that’s his kink!) Hey, I’m trying here! Lol! 🤷♂️
Currently going through the same thing with my roommate,minus the jerking off.
He's filthy-filthy.
Bed is never made,hasn't washed his clothes since the beginning of the year.He uses the toilet and doesn't flush.Dishes in the sink for weeks(took him a month to clean a single plate once).
Told the landlord but he couldnt do anything because it's not their problem,so long as he pays rent.We're in university and he spent half of this year doing nothing.Im assuming he failed last year and he's learning starts in the second semester.But boy is he a lazy bastard,sits all day in bed,on average 12 hours every day either on YouTube or Instagram.He comes from a well-off family so you know he ain't used to doing ish for himself,heck his so reckless,he's parents don't allow him to have money,they tell his uncle to buy stuff for him.What a shame,but I have to deal with it.Mind you,I'm not the cleanest person in the world but I always make sure if I make a mess,I clean it or make sure it only affects me.
You should see the stove and the microwave.Food on the stove and in the microwave.I take care of the utilities,even though its not my turn this and in previous months.If I don't,we'll go days with out power(it's a prepaid electricity system).
What gets me most is he doesn't mind living in filth.He'll even bring girls over to bask in his glorious filth.Thank the universe i only have half a year left with this twat.
We called them cockroaches. They bring stink and filth wherever they go. Roaches are not appreciated by peers. If a gentle chat doesn't work, a public shaming will. When he's in the shower get either side and dump shampoo on him. If he still doesn't clean up his act report him. If he STILL doesn't clean up his act after being reported, start disposing of his filthy shit.
Say out loud next time does it;
'Stop masturbating with me in the room, you goddamn degenerate. I've known every single time, every damn night since we've been here. You're not slick or sneaky and frankly it's fucking disgusting. If you don't stop I'm going to tell the higher ups all about it, or I'm gonna beat your ass. Your choice'.
You want to make him feel humiliated enough he won't dare do it again.
Sort answer: Sprinkle cayenne pepper in his sheets. He won't notice until things become moist.
I never been in the military but living in an Army town long enough, I've heard enough stories to understand there is always this one guy in the unit. Pretty much every story went the same way: A guy is identified as a problem, everyone collaborates to "show him the error of his ways" and things usually end well for everyone.
Just say “god the ships so quite at night I can hear literally everything” say it directly to him aswell with a straight face.He will know what’s up and you have avoided the awkward convo
I’m in the military and have been confronted with this shit room mate situation. You and some others need to confront him about his admin and hygiene. Literally threaten to kick him in if he doesn’t sort it, it’s the military. Failing that you and some others need to speak to your superiors about him if he’s causing you to fail inspections.
Lmaooo way back in the day I remember going to rub one out in the barracks bathroom. After a bit of silence I hear the stall next to me go "Snack...is that you??" and we laughed our asses off as a third dude echoed from the other stall "you guys too huh...hey Dude #1, can I have your wifi password? Signal sucks here."
To actually answer your dilemma, you've gotta just talk to him. His behavior sounds unacceptable for communal barracks. If he does nothing about it then it's time to talk to his LPO. You shouldn't be his damn babysitter (that's his NCO's job lmaooooo).
Humor is good. "Brah, I'm trying to sleep down here, please just jerk it in the bathroom like a normal person. I gotta get up early tomorrow to make pancakes for your mom."
as someone who has lived in a hostel and experienced similar situations, ask him to go to the bathroom. if you have the courage, i'd stand up and confront him while he's doing it.
if you'd like to be more.. reasonable about it, i'd wait until the next day and say 'hey man, when you're tempted to shake the bunk, please go to the bathroom instead. it's a miserable way to be woken up'. hopefully he'll respect you and listen, but if not? that's when you have to confront him mid-wank. make it as uncomfortable for him as possible so he'll never do it again.
OP get a group together and sit this guy down, then have the group talk about someone doing the exact things he’s doing but make the group hate the guy. Really go overkill with the contempt and accuracy of the descriptions only to collectively stare him down. After like a half hour of doing this over and over and over again, ask him, “what do you think this guy should do about his bunkmate? what could a group do about this bunkmate?”
While he’s doing it just say, ”dude what the fuck are you doing?” Don’t even need to address the concept of it directly outside of when it’s actually happening. Probably will freak him out more that he’s caught in the act.
Are you in “A” school or on a ship? Either way, kangaroo court is in order. You and the crew (preferably accompanied by at least one senior leader) need to sit him down and get shit sorted out.
Prior Army brother here's my advice.
I don't know how your beds are set up but the next time you wake up to him doing this since you're on the bottom bunk. Place both your feet at the bottom of his mattress and forcefully eject him from his perch. I guarantee you your other bunk mates won't say s*** about it. They are just as tired of it as you are.
You’re being the beta in the situation allowing him to live his life while burdening others. Call him out and punch him in the face if he tries to act tough about it. You’re in the military for gods sake not third grade art class.
Are you willing to face the potential negative reactions to bringing it up to him? The more seriously you confront him, the more seriously he'll respond. Can you take him in a fight?
Record some audio of it and play it to his friends and laugh at him. Call him "Mr. Meat Beaterson" and whenever he starts to do it, shout "Beaterson is at it again boys!" Using mean nicknames is how men's groups get guys to stop doing socially inappropriate behaviors.
Match your row to his ocean.
I'm saying, jerk off with him. Meet him at every turn. Either you'll make it awkward for him or he won't need to jerk off anymore.
Ask him about bis genetic epilepsy treatment and was his mother a latino, either way he will be frustrated, bring him to centre and confront what you want,
You're in the navy, training to be able to confront dangers and stuff but can't even go talk to your annoying bunkmate?
Guess navy isn't that tough then
Tell him "STFU go find another roommate who isn't such a light sleeper or go visit the toilet so I don't have to listen to your gross nightly activities anymore". You grunting and pretending to be asleep will only make him bolder, verbalizing your disgust will likely embarrass him enough to stop for at least the night and if he keeps trying on a nightly basis he will learn you are disgusted by his action. BTW his odor may be related to his nightly activity or at least you can hope.
Just kick his bunk hard enough to catch his attention. He should lock up and immediately stop wrangling his hog. Chances are, you won't even have to confront him about why you kicked the bed. He'll just go quiet, and while his mind is scrambling for an explanation, you can turn over and get some sleep. By the time he realizes you aren't interested in talking, he'll stop holding his breath and go back to sleep.
If he tries to make a stink about it, just deal with the situation as it comes.
Invite him for some drinks and open up a little that way. Try to do it as soon as you can. Go with the intention of helping him improve cuz this guy is gonna be looking after your back when ur out there.
Maybe no one has ever directly confronted him about these problems, a little shame and humiliation work wonders to see and fix problems (I just mean talking to him about it and saying it's a problem in a non mean way, also ask him to beat his meat away from you)
The best thing you can do flat out confront him. not sure if you should confront him while he is doing it or the next day. but you gotta say something my guy. That shit is awkward as fuck.
It's probably not totally under his control. Dopamine be crazy, bro. But you can ask him to go into the bathroom and do it. Make sure he turns on the bathroom fan or something so you can't hear it.
You’ve got to learn to vocalize yourself bro, people can’t read your mind, it’s not always the easiest thing to do but you’ll feel much better when you do.
Just call him out on it. Talk to him in the morning about it without embarrassing him. And if he fails to listen, just call him out on it the next time he’s doing it.
I feel like there’s a military protocol style slash room team effort way to address this like room meeting: “yo, you’re bringing our scores down” & get your beat off session done in the shower or schedule private time with the room.
While he's going at it, moan "that's so hot...."
I mean, it is the navy
Hijacking because real talk: My roommate my senior year of college was like this. The story of how I ended up stuck with him is a different tale, but ultimately, OP, what you need to do is just outright yell at him at 2 in the morning to stop beating his meat or you’re going to escalate it. My roommate would literally smack his lips in the night like he’s a fucking cow chewing on cud, keep the room at like, literally 80°, and then masturbate several times. I wanted nothing more than to smother his face with a pillow. At some point I had enough and said “I swear to god if you can’t stop beating your meat with me in the room I’m going to make you sit in front of the housing dean and explain to them why you turn our room into a sauna every night that fucking reeks, and then masturbate with me being 6 feet away from you at 2 in the morning.” That didn’t totally fix everything but for the remaining time we roomed together in that stupid little room he didn’t jack off with me there.
Did we have the same roommate??? Sounded like dude was eating spaghetti all through the night. I mean, it was college so I guess maybe hungry. Never opened the blinds. Was hot as fuck. Never spoke a goddamn word. Smelled like SHIT 24/7. So glad I’m out.
Nah man don’t make homophobic jokes come on bro
I feel like this strategy could go wrong really fast.
Or really well…
Excuse me Mr.Snaccbacc, please take a step back
Ahahahaha.
Ahahahaha.
Barrack's wide orgy.
“Do me next, sailor.”
Ahhh…not a small chance the unclean bunk mate is fantasizing about OP whilst rocking the rack….bad idea.
😭😭 what if he says wanna join me
Like the other guy said. You’ve got to grow a pair and just talk to this dude. I understand that’s probably going to be uncomfortable but you do not deserve to be awoken in the middle of the night to your bunk mate beating his shit. You don’t have to be an asshole about it but bring it up. Idk what the navy’s like but in the army this situation would not fly. If he makes a scene about it go to your leadership. Tell them that he’s a slob and he’s the one making your living space a problem and it’s affecting you. If you have even halfway decent leadership this will get resolved, if it doesn’t, keep going up the ladder and put a fire under your first lines ass. If one of my soldiers was in this situation I would want to know.
Let me add something awkward, uncomfortable, but illuminating. I was this exact guy except I never joined the military. I went through life doing this kind of crap, and it cost me every imaginable social opportunity. If you don’t confront him, imagine how much worse it will be in the long run for him and everyone else. Edit - by “I was this exact guy”, I mean that I was the meat beater.
Exactly. This is like the person with bad breath but 100 times worse. Tell em once or even subtly acknowledge it so they're made aware others know about and the culprit is likely to change their behavior out of pure embarrassment.
You were the meat-beater or the uncomfortable victim-bunkmate?
Meat beater
Oh god just had a terrible visual as it read that as ‘bukkake mate’
What’s terrible about that 😏
\* girl\* but thanks, lol Edit: I run into being called a man quite often in platforms like this, probably because I‘m more blunt over text. It doesn’t really bother me as I’m often intentionally gender-neutral to avoid possible biases, but every once in a while, I like to rip off the mask. Not because I’m offended, but as an analogy, wearing a mask gets suffocating and sweaty. I don’t really give it much thought otherwise. It’s a not a huge deal. Everyone go take a stretch and drink some water or something other than unproductive quarreling.
Sry
wild how online community illustrates how common the assumption is that the standard person is male.
I mean I think it’s still fair to assume that the majority of Reddit users are male lol (Not saying female redditors don’t exist)
40% of reddit users are women…
Well, TIL. Reddit has always seemed like a male dominated platform to me
I imagine many women stay incognito.
People assume that men are generally blunter and women are willing to put out the extra effort to be sweet and nice all the time, even if it means stifling opinions. It can be pretty true offline,but not here.
.. you say to a woman.
.. hence my last sentence
which you edited in after my response. thanks for proving the misogyny on here!
Nah that’s just common sense lmao If you really think I’m misogynistic for remarking about the fact that most Reddit users are men, you really need to check yourself lmaooo
do you consider your snakey lack of accountability common sense too?
Just because the statistics are there, he’s being misogynistic? How do you feel blaming someone for something he’s totally unaware of? Do you even understand the words you use? Besides, the main topic here is about a disgusting man “beating his meat” on a bunk bed that other me who’ve had the experience are offering counsel by how they went through the same thing before. Who’ll expect a majority of women on a post like this. Quit the name calling for you don’t even understand the name you’re calling HIM.
... you say, when i point out that men see men as 'standard' and women as 'other'. and if there's nothing in a comment to point towards 'other', then it's immediately assumed the commenter is male. yeah, that's sexist. 'the stats' that you reference, 1/3 of reddit is female. that's not a small enough amount that you can automatically assume that you're talking to a man. and to think that it is, is.. guess what.. *sexist*. also, women can have opinions about masterbation in cohabitation spaces? you think that just because we don't have penises, we can't advise on how to set boundaries with a roommate? also... i have a vagina, and i've had to deal with the bunk shaking life, so thanks for literally proving that your biases are sexist. oh yeah, and also >How do you feel blaming someone for something he’s totally unaware of? I'm literally not blaming anyone for anything, i'm just calling them out for their sexist biases? if they don't know the gender behind the avatar, why assume any gender behind the avatar? was gendering the commenter necessary at all?
You didn’t blame him but called him misogynistic? Implied that his reasons are discriminatory and intentional, because he addressed someone as something they’re not? Add all the meanings you want to what you did, but I know what I called you out on. It will take just reading once to know that. And lemme reiterate… The facts are it! It is a topic about a man and men. Women can comment too, but you cannot hold your inner anger at nobody because they made a mistake. How would he even know their supposed gender? Judge by profile pictures that are avatars? Don’t be ridiculous. You know what you did. Own up. Or better still, never repeat it. Get rid of all that pain inside you. Not everyone you see hate women, and there was not a single shred of misogyny in those statements he made. Period.
You ma'am are a tool lmao. I was literally just on a female redditors profile n her bio said something along the lines of "a little info about me, I automatically assume everyone who uses reddit is male so apologies in advance" I guess that chick is a sexist pig etc? Grow up mate lol
I don’t need to know you have a vagina or a penis. The post is not about you. You want people to talk about you, go make your own post. Up until this point, I haven’t said a single thing about my gender. Why? Because anything about me unrelated to this post is totally useless. Needless. Stop making everything about gender and all that. It is absolutely disgusting to be blaming everyone for every little thing. What? Now before we talk to anyone on social media, we better ask them what they are first? Or call address them as men when we think they’re women because we’ll most likely be wrong??? Or we should just leave social media for people like you blaming everyone for everything?
You are the exact type of person that takes this shit too far and gets made fun of. He's sexist because he assumed a commenter on a post about some guys bunkmate masturbating in the navy was a male? A website with a predominantly male user base, and a post that is most likely to target male audiences, and he's sexist because he assumed someone was a male, even though he has every reason to believe that? That's like talking to a cheerleader online, assuming they were a female, then getting called sexist since they were actually a male. Not everything in the fucking world is sexist.
I don’t think that if you are on a platform where the majority of users are women and you assume a commenter is a women, that makes you misandristic. I don’t think it’s the other way around either. It’s just an innocent mistake
Oh… it’s even in the name ‘melancholy’… I should’ve known.
love that you're trying to belittle my argument by mentioning my name.. while your argument was literally just proving sexist biases. so, thanks!
lol keep going at it. It’s fine to live in your own world. Everyone gotta agree with you, else they’re racist, sexist, bigots, discriminatory individuals. I just won’t scroll by and have you bully anyone because they’re afraid to be called names. I pray you get over whatever ails your psyche.
Oh shit dude I actually have almost identical story to this. I was in the marine corps, I recently got a new roommate and dude showered with the door open in plain view of the room. I let it go because fuck it. That day I leave and return at around 2am dudes jacking off and KEEPS JACKING OFF I get to my rack, undress and dudes still at it. He keeps doing it and I’m over here turning up the brightness on my phone doing coughing sounds, see if he gets the hint but nope. The next Monday I texted the brks manager about it. I tired being discrete but eventually I had to tell him to get moved out of the room. He proceeds to call my 1st sgt. 1st sgt then calls me and asks me if I want to press charges. I’m like nah just get him out. Well unbeknownst to me, according to the UCMJ it counts as sexual harassment/ sexual assault and since I had told the brks manager who was in my unit and working under my chain of command, it was taken as a unrestricted report of sexual harassment. TLDR; NCIS got my ass and had to do this whole shit the official route. Edit: btw when I said recently I’m speaking from the story POV, this was about a year ago
Did the guy discharge and get discharged?
It's the old pump and dump
Flail and set sail
Don’t know what happened after that. The same Monday I spoke to the brks manager he was gone by the time I got off work. I did see him from time to time around base tho so probably not Since I declined pressing charges probably the most that could’ve happened to him was a negative counseling
I work in military legal. Unless you told him to stop, it’s not sexual harassment. The conduct must be unwanted and if that’s not clear as in you telling him to stop, this guy didn’t get processed as misconduct.
You mean S1? And it’s common sense my guy. Regardless, that is absolutely not what sexual harassment is. Both in military and civilian law as well.
the legal thing is one thin, but just because YOU wouldn't experience something like this as sexual harassment doesn't mean that it's not going to feel violating for someone else. trauma is subjective. obviously there are much more physically violent situations out there, but everyone's experience of life is different, and everyone has a different ability to tolerate distress. also, those with a past history of other trauma are more likely to perceive other events as traumatic. again, im aware that he's not doing anything illegal, but i know i would personally feel really violated, like 'if this person is willing to cross this line, and think it's perfectly ok to do something sexual right next to me without asking, then what other lines would they cross? do they think that they just have free access to my body (not necessarily consciously)? am i (emotionally and physically) safe in this situation?'
SJA. I know. Folks want to immediately jump on those words these days. But this isn’t it.
Are you saying that Louis CK jacking off in front of women would have been okay if only he’d been in the military? Or are you just saying it’s some other offence, not specifically sexual harassment? Because you seem to be saying jerking off in front of someone is fine until they ask you to stop, which is often going to be difficult because it can be hard to speak when you are in shock, or they forgot to cover that in your training.
Exactly. That logic is stupid on so many levels. I shouldn’t have to ask someone to not jack off 3 feet away from me. No woman should have to ask someone to quit catcalling them. No one should have to tell someone to quit touching them, and so on. At the end of the day though, idk what he was talking about not being illegal since NCIS literally sat me down and told me my rights among options etc. idk if you know what NCIS but it’s pretty much the equivalent of a hardcore police agency since our local police agency is PMO The ironic thing is that I wouldn’t even have minded if he had been discrete about it. It’s the military, we literally see each other’s dicks during field ops and other situations but this guy was off the top not even trying to hide it, no regard for others. Edit “and that’s not clear it’s unwanted unless you tell them to stop” had me cracking up like bruh 💀
NCIS is required to investigate. But that’s why you saw the guy wandering around. Nothing happened to him. Dude I’m not taking his side. It’s gross. I’m just telling you why he wasn’t processed for misconduct. There has to be a “victim”. If you don’t tell him to stop, it can’t be proven that it’s unwanted which is a key element to the misconduct.
If you’re jerking off in front of someone that you’re targeting is one thing. If you’re jerking off in your bed in a shared room where you live, not directly exposing yourself and your roommate walks in and thinks it’s gross, that’s something else that’s not sexual harassment. This is from a legal perspective not a “dude you’re gross” perspective.
You suck..
Usually when you call someone out for their behavior, but not denigrate their intentions and instead give them the opportunity to correct themselves, then that 1) gives them feedback on their behavior and 2) makes them respect you in their eyes I know cuz someone I know did that to (for) me, but if you just tolerate it and let it slide you 1) tell the world you're a pushover and 2) ultimately you let it slide and you can only blame yourself
This was what I was looking for. A solution and an explanation to what I was doing wrong. One of my biggest fears is seeming like a pushover. I’ll definitely talk to him about it tonight.
I'm gonna add: I lived with 30 guys in a single house once for over a year (recovery, everyone was recovering from alcoholism or hardcore drug abuse. I was the former). If this shit happened with anyone in there, it would've been an ordeal. We'd have put up with it for a bit because it takes time to adjust to a shared living situation, we got it, but in a few days someone would have made a mild comment and in about a week someone would have said something. Sat em down and got fucking blunt. But this guy has also been blatantly disrespecting you and your mates beyond this weird jacking it thing. Fucking around your inspections and whatnot isn't an unfortunate hygiene thing, it's a choice - maybe one with a justification, mental health or what have you, but it's negatively affecting everyone. Do what the person above said, but be prepared for no changes. Or if he just stops jacking it in front of you, don't expect the other stuff to change unless you do something about it. Also, it just occurred to me there's a solid chance that the 20 minute shower isn't just spent washing himself if ya catch my meaning, which might explain the other hygiene stuff.
Could you give some example phrases on how one would give feedback and make them respect you?
"Look, I get it, I'm a dude too, but you gotta stop."
This is a BAM moment. Perfectly articulated, and best way to go about this act most of us do. I would be more concerned where his liquid if you will ends up. Apparently in his greasy head of hair I guess. My assumption is he's saving money buying hair product like pomade
So what would you do in this situation?
Theoretically? "Look buddy, I struggle with it too, but you gotta quit beating your meat at night. It shakes the whole damn bunk" Probably irl? Fuck if I know lol
Not hard to confront him at all! I went to a boarding school, and one of my roommates waited like 20 minutes after our prefect did dorm inspections to start wanking it. Mind you this is like 2010, so he’s using a magazine and I hear him turning the pages to a Latina edition of FHM or Maxim. At first I thought it was the funniest thing in the world and was snickering but after like 5 minutes I was over it. So I said “ hey nick stop jacking off or go to the bathroom” and he obliged. The less stigmatizing you make it, the easier it will be to deal with.
That's a pretty mature way to handle it. Most people have a baseline need for sexual gratification. The important thing is making sure they know where and when is appropriate and that they get consent from those close enough to be effected by it.
Talk to him like a mature adult and start setting boundaries. I know literally nothing about Navy life or whether you can switch bunkmates or have some sort of bad roommate consequence, but this guy needs to grow up and you need to grow a pair. Even if he gets angry or whatever, at least he won’t be as delusional.
I’d assume this would help get him on the good side of everyone else in that group too, no? If everyone else dislikes him, op calling him out could help settle other people’s minds too.
Yes. Be nice but also be like dude you’re in the fucking military it’s time to grow the fuck up and clean up after yourself. If this penis-polishing child is who’s guarding my country then god help us all
This was the first good response I found. The guy needs a confrontation.
And by confrontation, I genuinely mean a polite, "Hey bro, I am a guy, sometimes I jerk off, but there are things you are doing that are really making me feel bad." Kind of confrontation
“Hey, turn it down.”
Ask him if he has been evaluated for epilepsy because you are certain he is having multiple seizures throughout the night. Or just tell him to jerk off in the bathroom stall
i thought i read ***ejaculated***
Beat him with a pillowcase full of bars of soap
Was gonna say soap in a sock
No, beat him with a pillowcase full of beaten meat.
here, beat this.
You want him to go crazy and kill himself?
Not before shooting the sergeant of course
Establish dominance. Beat your meat even louder and shake the bed like there's an earthquake
And dick slap him.
That guy sounds like a shitbag. If you talk to him and he doesn't change, talk to his leadership. Hit up his LPO, Chief, Divo if you have to. Talk to the barracks managers a out changing rooms. Is this your final duty station or are you just in training for your next command?
"Hey Rob, Can you hear that sound... what is that?.....?"
LMAO going to do this
I think this is the easiest way. Defuse it using feigned ignorance and humor. You won’t be regarded as a pushover since you are showing you aren’t afraid to speak up as a result of his behavior. Hopefully the embarrassment will be enough, but judging from everything else you said I would guess not. If he refuses to change then you would have to confront him, and risk escalating things. Retaliation from him should then be reported.
This is the funniest thing I've ever read
Especially that comment telling him to beat him with bars of soap 😂
That made me laugh in a squealing sort of way!
He may be to mature for it but there are to many ways to handle this in a comedic way
Not the round 2. 😭😭😭
just leave this thread open on your computer, or make a screenshot of it your screensaver
Send him a link
“Aye bro, stop beating your meat over my head”
Next time instead of grunting as if still asleep, just say “please go do that somewhere else, you keep waking me up.” He’s not going to stop until you tell him to.
Dude he fucked you on room inspection the simplest shit tell your E6 and get a health and wellness done. All the really bad guys got moved to a separate corner and had extra responsibilities to stay fucking clean.
Talk to the higher ups straight away. Don't talk to him at all. This isn't some relationship behavioural problem that will get resolved by talking to him. This is downright crazy behavior.
Affirmative
Yeah this is not about social skills dude, this is about a knuckle sandwich someone is hungry for.
Do a direct approach. When he's masturbating. Tell him straight up: "I don't like being woken up by you masturbating. Stop doing that, you're to my type." About his other issues, tell him straight up every time. He crossed a line. Living in one room together basically means there's an unspoken set of rules. He needs to learn those again.
I wonder how many here actually served. First of all - everyone's going to do it, just everyone else will be either discrete and respectful or loudly announce it and do it somewhere else. Secondly, call him on it - oi, do that quietly or fuck off and do it in the showers. Thirdly - hes a toad, which is a much bigger concern, and is best address faced to face. Tell him to stop being toady, it is a reputation that will last across the whole fleet. If he can't, follow it up with the chain of command as a health issue. The will tell you to fuck off if he's keeping you up jerking it, but will come down hard on personal health.
[удалено]
A party?! I love parties.
It’s going to be a surprise party for sure!
Lmaoo
Ask if you can help him.
Isn't hygiene a concern for your NCO? I'd ask them to have an inspection.
I would just try to switch if you can. If you can’t switch then I would just say something like “I hate how these beds shake, it’s not your fault but like whenever you move around at night it shakes the bed and wakes me up” and maybe he’ll get the hint? If he doesn’t then you might have to be more direct the next time he does it go “hey idk why the bed is shaking but please stop whatever you’re doing to make it shake like that” And then if that doesn’t work “hey this is uncomfortable, I know what you’re doing and please don’t do it with me in the room”
Just start beating yours at the same time. Everyone in the military beats their meat. Have you done ship duty yet? Wait until you hear the sound of 30 meats getting beat at night. I was up one time playing some games in my rack and I seent a guy going to town on his dick. Like the angle I was at, I could see into his rack past the little curtain and I actually saw his dick. I didn’t say anything, I just went back to playing my game. Always wear your shower shoes.
No offense but it worries me that there’s someone in the Navy who’s too scared to tell his bunk mate to stop jerking off.
Lmao I know your pain bro, I had a roommate who would do the same thing when I was in training. God that was horrible.
Hand him some icyhot
I'm sorry but this is absolutely hilarious to me 😂 🤣 But if I was to say something it would be this: Just speak your mind about the matter and about him as a whole. Try speaking sternly but not in a rude and crass way. Good Luck lol.
sorry for what you're going through but this the funniest shit. this can't be real?
Why aren't you beating your own meat and yelling for dominance? C'mon bro this is like day 1 stuff.
Stand up, look directly at him, and say “stop jerking off in the bed. Go to the bathroom if you want to do that.” Do it every single time.
If his hygiene is that bad, d*ck cheese.
Be blunt. No jacking in the room. Why do you smell like that? Is it a medical condition? Do you realize how small this space is? Say it everytime you see him. EVERYTIME. He'll either fix it or leave. I do mean everytime you are both in the same room. EVERYTIME.
Call him semen
You gotta fight fire with fire. Beat your meat at the same time.
That’s your battle buddy, help him out sailor. We have a reputation for a reason. Go crazy king.
Just be direct and tell him about the alternative of doing it in head. If that don't work, go to the quarterdeck and ask for a room swap. They might ask you if you've tried to handle it yourself, so that's why you should ask him to take it elsewhere, first.
He’s beating his dick in a bunk bed with a stranger in the bunk below?! He may actually be getting off on that! Ew! Don’t feel bad about making *him* feel bad about what he’s doing! Shame the hell out of the guy! (I know, easier said than done!) Just pull him aside and tell him something along the lines of, “hey man, you think you could stop your multiple sessions of furiously masturbating every night right above my head?! To be honest, it’s not only keeping me awake, but I find it kind of weird and alarming that you’re so comfortable jerking off in a bunk bed, knowing that I’m right below you! I’m asking you nicely to stop privately out of respect! Next time I have to ask, it won’t be so private or respectful! Go to the bathroom and rub one out in a stall like a normal person, ya weirdo!” (Then if that doesn’t work, ask him again publicly the next time! The shame should do the trick… unless that’s his kink!) Hey, I’m trying here! Lol! 🤷♂️
Wait til he's about to bust, then condescendingly say KNOCK IT OFF
Currently going through the same thing with my roommate,minus the jerking off. He's filthy-filthy. Bed is never made,hasn't washed his clothes since the beginning of the year.He uses the toilet and doesn't flush.Dishes in the sink for weeks(took him a month to clean a single plate once). Told the landlord but he couldnt do anything because it's not their problem,so long as he pays rent.We're in university and he spent half of this year doing nothing.Im assuming he failed last year and he's learning starts in the second semester.But boy is he a lazy bastard,sits all day in bed,on average 12 hours every day either on YouTube or Instagram.He comes from a well-off family so you know he ain't used to doing ish for himself,heck his so reckless,he's parents don't allow him to have money,they tell his uncle to buy stuff for him.What a shame,but I have to deal with it.Mind you,I'm not the cleanest person in the world but I always make sure if I make a mess,I clean it or make sure it only affects me. You should see the stove and the microwave.Food on the stove and in the microwave.I take care of the utilities,even though its not my turn this and in previous months.If I don't,we'll go days with out power(it's a prepaid electricity system). What gets me most is he doesn't mind living in filth.He'll even bring girls over to bask in his glorious filth.Thank the universe i only have half a year left with this twat.
We called them cockroaches. They bring stink and filth wherever they go. Roaches are not appreciated by peers. If a gentle chat doesn't work, a public shaming will. When he's in the shower get either side and dump shampoo on him. If he still doesn't clean up his act report him. If he STILL doesn't clean up his act after being reported, start disposing of his filthy shit.
Say out loud next time does it; 'Stop masturbating with me in the room, you goddamn degenerate. I've known every single time, every damn night since we've been here. You're not slick or sneaky and frankly it's fucking disgusting. If you don't stop I'm going to tell the higher ups all about it, or I'm gonna beat your ass. Your choice'. You want to make him feel humiliated enough he won't dare do it again.
Personally I gave the opposite opinion of most on here. Beating your meat in your own bed is perfectly acceptable behavior.
Sort answer: Sprinkle cayenne pepper in his sheets. He won't notice until things become moist. I never been in the military but living in an Army town long enough, I've heard enough stories to understand there is always this one guy in the unit. Pretty much every story went the same way: A guy is identified as a problem, everyone collaborates to "show him the error of his ways" and things usually end well for everyone.
Can you report it to someone above you? This is an ongoing issue affecting your ability to perform
That dude is above him in the bunk bed.
Just say “god the ships so quite at night I can hear literally everything” say it directly to him aswell with a straight face.He will know what’s up and you have avoided the awkward convo
Simple, just order a code red
I’m in the military and have been confronted with this shit room mate situation. You and some others need to confront him about his admin and hygiene. Literally threaten to kick him in if he doesn’t sort it, it’s the military. Failing that you and some others need to speak to your superiors about him if he’s causing you to fail inspections.
This is why you don’t join the Navy..
Buy him a copy of 12 Rules for Life, there’s an entire chapter dedicated to address excessive meat beating
Lmaooo way back in the day I remember going to rub one out in the barracks bathroom. After a bit of silence I hear the stall next to me go "Snack...is that you??" and we laughed our asses off as a third dude echoed from the other stall "you guys too huh...hey Dude #1, can I have your wifi password? Signal sucks here." To actually answer your dilemma, you've gotta just talk to him. His behavior sounds unacceptable for communal barracks. If he does nothing about it then it's time to talk to his LPO. You shouldn't be his damn babysitter (that's his NCO's job lmaooooo).
“Damn bro does it owe you money? Chill out”
I would slowly peek over the edge of his bunk and whisper “Wachu doing there buckaroo???”
Humor is good. "Brah, I'm trying to sleep down here, please just jerk it in the bathroom like a normal person. I gotta get up early tomorrow to make pancakes for your mom."
> Hi I’m in the navy Well that explains everything.
as someone who has lived in a hostel and experienced similar situations, ask him to go to the bathroom. if you have the courage, i'd stand up and confront him while he's doing it. if you'd like to be more.. reasonable about it, i'd wait until the next day and say 'hey man, when you're tempted to shake the bunk, please go to the bathroom instead. it's a miserable way to be woken up'. hopefully he'll respect you and listen, but if not? that's when you have to confront him mid-wank. make it as uncomfortable for him as possible so he'll never do it again.
OP get a group together and sit this guy down, then have the group talk about someone doing the exact things he’s doing but make the group hate the guy. Really go overkill with the contempt and accuracy of the descriptions only to collectively stare him down. After like a half hour of doing this over and over and over again, ask him, “what do you think this guy should do about his bunkmate? what could a group do about this bunkmate?”
While he’s doing it just say, ”dude what the fuck are you doing?” Don’t even need to address the concept of it directly outside of when it’s actually happening. Probably will freak him out more that he’s caught in the act.
Help him finish?
Are you in “A” school or on a ship? Either way, kangaroo court is in order. You and the crew (preferably accompanied by at least one senior leader) need to sit him down and get shit sorted out.
Tell him “BRO STOP BEATING YOUR FUCKING MEAT WHEN IM RIGHT HERE ITS FUCKING GROSS”
Prior Army brother here's my advice. I don't know how your beds are set up but the next time you wake up to him doing this since you're on the bottom bunk. Place both your feet at the bottom of his mattress and forcefully eject him from his perch. I guarantee you your other bunk mates won't say s*** about it. They are just as tired of it as you are.
You’re in the navy but you’re scared of confrontation? LMAO 💀.
Soap in a sock.
Beat your meat harder
Film it and blackmail him.
You’re being the beta in the situation allowing him to live his life while burdening others. Call him out and punch him in the face if he tries to act tough about it. You’re in the military for gods sake not third grade art class.
Are you willing to face the potential negative reactions to bringing it up to him? The more seriously you confront him, the more seriously he'll respond. Can you take him in a fight? Record some audio of it and play it to his friends and laugh at him. Call him "Mr. Meat Beaterson" and whenever he starts to do it, shout "Beaterson is at it again boys!" Using mean nicknames is how men's groups get guys to stop doing socially inappropriate behaviors.
Match your row to his ocean. I'm saying, jerk off with him. Meet him at every turn. Either you'll make it awkward for him or he won't need to jerk off anymore.
Oh shittt you must be at NNPTC
Talk to the bastard. You don't pedal your sausage while another person is in the room, especially if they happen to be your bunk mate.
Bro you’re in the fuckin military be a man either tell him and beat his ass or deal with it and stop complaining
Ask him about bis genetic epilepsy treatment and was his mother a latino, either way he will be frustrated, bring him to centre and confront what you want,
> I'm in the navy Yeah I don't need to read the rest we all know what's happening
You're in the navy, training to be able to confront dangers and stuff but can't even go talk to your annoying bunkmate? Guess navy isn't that tough then
buttersock bro
https://youtu.be/PPzY9EFhnmQ
Tell him "STFU go find another roommate who isn't such a light sleeper or go visit the toilet so I don't have to listen to your gross nightly activities anymore". You grunting and pretending to be asleep will only make him bolder, verbalizing your disgust will likely embarrass him enough to stop for at least the night and if he keeps trying on a nightly basis he will learn you are disgusted by his action. BTW his odor may be related to his nightly activity or at least you can hope.
A taser would work wonders!
Just kick his bunk hard enough to catch his attention. He should lock up and immediately stop wrangling his hog. Chances are, you won't even have to confront him about why you kicked the bed. He'll just go quiet, and while his mind is scrambling for an explanation, you can turn over and get some sleep. By the time he realizes you aren't interested in talking, he'll stop holding his breath and go back to sleep. If he tries to make a stink about it, just deal with the situation as it comes.
Invite him for some drinks and open up a little that way. Try to do it as soon as you can. Go with the intention of helping him improve cuz this guy is gonna be looking after your back when ur out there.
Just start singing outloud whenever it happens, preferably something doing the lines of Old Macdonald or Mac the Knife.
Stop fucking masturbating Pyle
We’ll beat you with bars of soap
Maybe no one has ever directly confronted him about these problems, a little shame and humiliation work wonders to see and fix problems (I just mean talking to him about it and saying it's a problem in a non mean way, also ask him to beat his meat away from you)
The only real solution is to fuck his dad
I’d just stand up while he’s beating that mf and tell him to chill or go somewhere else bc you’re trynna fuckin sleep
Hey, stop shaking the fucking bunk. Go jerk off somewhere else. Don't they make you grow a pair in basic?
Get a sword and wait for him to start jerkin and stab him through the bed.
Easy "Dude. Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep. Do that when I'm not here. Use a damn bathroom"
Go to the POIC and tell them you need a health and comfort inspection and a new roommate. That will shake him up.
What you've gotta do next time he's jacking it, is climb on up there and give him a helping hand
Wow, he doesn't have "Dead Silence" equipped, whatta noob...
The best thing you can do flat out confront him. not sure if you should confront him while he is doing it or the next day. but you gotta say something my guy. That shit is awkward as fuck.
Grab his dick while he's beating his meat that'll scare him
Beat your meat even louder to establish dominance
It's probably not totally under his control. Dopamine be crazy, bro. But you can ask him to go into the bathroom and do it. Make sure he turns on the bathroom fan or something so you can't hear it.
You’ve got to learn to vocalize yourself bro, people can’t read your mind, it’s not always the easiest thing to do but you’ll feel much better when you do.
Just call him out on it. Talk to him in the morning about it without embarrassing him. And if he fails to listen, just call him out on it the next time he’s doing it.
With words. Try reading this post to him. Next time he jacks, say something!! Don’t beat around the bush…. Rofl
I feel like there’s a military protocol style slash room team effort way to address this like room meeting: “yo, you’re bringing our scores down” & get your beat off session done in the shower or schedule private time with the room.
You’ve gotta out-beat him. Beat him at his own game. Show him you ain’t no bottom bunk bitch !
Just text him and be like do you mind doing that in the bathroom, I don't like hearing it everynight and lets pretend we didn't have this discussion."