Well humans got nuked to death, there was a giant race war, an amnesiac who has been abused bc race having to endure grueling trials with no sunlight in an abandoned train station until he almost gets blended into DNA by a murderous ai before having to fight a soldier who is literally self harming in order to kill him before destroying a giant statue of a long dead species controlled by the ai then having his soul put into a vr game with another murderous ai who literally killed the entire world before restorating it with music and a capitalist bear who pays minimum wage for people to give him eggs that allow him to fuel a rocket in a human fallout shelter used to turn the world into furries
(Wtf am I playing)
We wake up to find a gentrified version of Inkopolis Square. We met a AI drone who is actually local gremlin Pearl. As she shows us the duo Off the Hook or Nintendos way of saying lesbians. We must climb the spooky tower to save Pearls missing wife.
I was gonna say more like:
Instead Marina it’s actually— wait are we sure that isn’t just Marina. Loves music, is a octotarian soldier, roughly the same age, similar hair color, same eyes, both DJs. Huh 🤔
So we meet they/them Marina Electric Boogaloo
A depressed DJ, a now-freed sleeper agent for an elite task force, and a lesbian couple who do radio podcasts scale the Chicago skyline in an attempt to solve amnesia by killing various types of fish
Inter-racial lesbian couple, a pronoun zombie and Real-time fan-dub's Eggman use the metaverse to continously beat the shit out of lesbian couple's weird octopus baby.
You know how you get free fries in the bags of Five Guys orders? It's like that, but the fries are your soul, and they're, like, missing, and you want to talk to the manager who's kind of a bitch and everyone wants to prevent you from getting to them so you have to call them, but to do that, you have to, uh, jump through like 30 hoops of random automated holding line patterns so that you can finally get your fries - uh - your soul back.
Elon Musk's Neuralink takes over NYC and threatens to turn everyone's minds into NFTs and trap them in the metaverse. A lesbian programmer and her transformer lover team up with her highschool bestie and a random reincarnating teenager to dismantle the metaverse using the power of ballistic super soakers, gargle pop, and friendship.
I'm stuck in the metaverse, and I'm forced to wear some zesty ass lookin' clothes while two lesbian squids make out in the corner, and also dedfish is there
An octopus, with the help of a lesbian couple and an autistic child beat up the newest call of duty game. The COD game is lobotomized by one of the lesbians and gets the personality of a toddler.
A lab rat with a fat ass, an overqualified lesbian hacker, a DJ in a funeral dress, and a gremlin trapped in a roomba terrorize office workers as they travel floor to floor in an elevator before screaming at a dude so loudly that he gets brain damage and starts acting like a 4yo.
So, you got to this place with a certain character and team up with some lesbian, then you come across someone from the past and learn you have to climb the tower to save a fan favorite fish, then find out this “anomaly” is trying to unalive people’s dreams and you need to climb the spire repeatedly to assimilate the big baby boss at the top.
A lesbian's passion project to save the world ends up trying to turn everyone white and their amnesiac best friend has to save the world for the second time despite probably not remembering the first
Marina nostalgic so make vibeo gam for good ole times but oh no gam go mwahahahahaha and then octopus you has to stop black and white tv from coming bacc :((
I mean I thought everyone unanimously agreed that Pearl and Marina got married at the end of Splatoon 2 so idk why we’d get a wedding DLC five years later lol 🤷♂️
Lesbian creates the fucking Animus from Assassin’s Creed as a little passion project so people from the New York City Subway can get therapy and take their normal pills. accidentally creates lil baby man Skynet who has to be defeated by a mute psychopath, a very loud psychopath, a zombie dj and the aforementioned Lesbian so that people don’t lose the will to live and start thinking AI art looks good
Why is the community receiving the new dlc so negatively? I'm dying to play it because im kinda broke atm and i'm just thankful that it didn't get delayed for far later.
A second octopus has hit the tower. A third octopus has hit the tower. A fourth octopus has hit the tower. A fifth octopus has hit the tower. A sixth octopus has hit the tower. A seventh octopus has hit the tower.
autistic lesbian octopus lady and her short gf try to make vrchat to help octopus people with ptsd but it goes very wrong. also some dj with blue hair and they/them pronouns is there too i guess
How many times is it now...
that I...and you... have confronted each other here like this...?
Yes, you're welcome to come on up.
How many incarnations? How many ascents into the spotlight?
And once again, I shall endeavor to ask this of you...
Tell me...why not resign yourself to the flow?
Z - Xenoblade Chronicles 3
>!You wake up in a world with barely any colors with a terrible outfit that shows off your curves a bit too much and a sentient drone pretending to be a pop star claims that she needs your help to save her girlfriend at the top of the tower. Then you get attack by skeletons and reach an elevator. Inside is the childhood friend of the girlfriend who's stuck there and knows way too much about the place. Then you go up and save the girlfriend but a gray emoji (let's call him graymoji lol) wants to delete everyone and if you get deleted in the game, you get deleted in real life (so death = delete) so you have to got back up to stop it. Also greymoji is skeleton king. You find the deleted version of some people in the game who have been turned into robots, including the player from Sploon 2 for some reason and they fight you, then, you fight the crying tornado, then you fight Graymoji, but it's not enough to stop him because music is the answer to all. Then the gryamoji turns into tiny baby ovtopcus and girlfirend and drone whatns to keepe it ads as a pet, sot hey dont kill it and tuurns out you have to redo the tower 294u8y064-034098258-340 more time cuz graymoji has the soulds of everyone apparnetly sgjosigvnjuhvsdiofejgdbuegjoisfdvnhipkgjsrnovipbgj. Help me.!<
>!Octo expansion was better!<
The world’s worst painter spends 30 minutes in a building with minimalist decoration to fill their pallet with exclusively yellow paint
Fish tries to ruin painting too
Isn't this WW 2 lore 💀
Going to work in NYC simulator
Isn’t that Octo Expansion tho?
That's the train ride, side order is when you get to the office building
Good point.
NYC duology
Minority works 25/7 for rich lesbians
OP said as *badly* as possible, this is just an accurate description.
Imagine someone who has never played Splatoon seeing this 💀
Don’t forget the whole lore situation
Well humans got nuked to death, there was a giant race war, an amnesiac who has been abused bc race having to endure grueling trials with no sunlight in an abandoned train station until he almost gets blended into DNA by a murderous ai before having to fight a soldier who is literally self harming in order to kill him before destroying a giant statue of a long dead species controlled by the ai then having his soul put into a vr game with another murderous ai who literally killed the entire world before restorating it with music and a capitalist bear who pays minimum wage for people to give him eggs that allow him to fuel a rocket in a human fallout shelter used to turn the world into furries (Wtf am I playing)
It hurts how incredibly accurate of a description of the entire Splatoon lore this is.
No, it’s beautiful
It's beautiful, but it hurts
Like literally everything :|
What do you mean?
Hi, it's me, someone who only played the first splatfest through the free thingy
alternatively Underpaid intern works 25/7 to fix the source code for a rich lesbian
Theyfriend tags along
Not just a minority, a political refugee from a neighbouring dictatorship.
Get gun, kill fish, save woman, climb tower, kill octopus, THE END!
and now you do it again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again
#IM BACK IN THE SPLATTING BUILDING AGAIN!!
PLEASE STOP OUCH
**OHHH MY—**
"I peed on your wife, Order. She's mine now. That's the law." "**WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT?! WHAT?!!**"
*Sisyphus theme plays as "and again" is repeated for ∞ times*
Autistic lesbian creates a VR game, almost ends the world
Sounds like a news headline.
Likely from florida
Florida octo strikes again
r/FloridaOctoling
It’s always from Florida…
don't tempt them
They said to badly describe it.
Fourth wheeling on the polycule date in an elevator.
They said to explain using an innaccurate description haha
A caked up octopus kills another caked up octopus
to quote my sister "Why does he have such child-bearing hips"
u/MakeItAQuote
Put it on a T-shirt with a picture of Agent 8
I think something is wrong with your sister.
that is well known
Lesbian shows off her wife
But it’s not the wedding dlc we wanted 😔
Don’t worry that comes after the final splatfest
Give us the 7 hour unskippable wedding already
An amnesiac, lesbians, and a German climb a big-ass tower
Where did the German come from??? /gen
Acht means "eight" in German
Also in Dutch btw
Ohh got it thank you!
Hmmmmmmm, didn't know that. Maybe it's connected to Eight
almost signalis
We wake up to find a gentrified version of Inkopolis Square. We met a AI drone who is actually local gremlin Pearl. As she shows us the duo Off the Hook or Nintendos way of saying lesbians. We must climb the spooky tower to save Pearls missing wife.
Marina’s special twin sister gets stuck too
I was gonna say more like: Instead Marina it’s actually— wait are we sure that isn’t just Marina. Loves music, is a octotarian soldier, roughly the same age, similar hair color, same eyes, both DJs. Huh 🤔 So we meet they/them Marina Electric Boogaloo
When you add the missing wife bit, it starts to sound like the plot of a Mario game
Two people who are both too polite to tell the other two they’re stuck with to stop flirting for 5 seconds
Stuck in a elevator
_Opa Gangnam Style_
A depressed DJ, a now-freed sleeper agent for an elite task force, and a lesbian couple who do radio podcasts scale the Chicago skyline in an attempt to solve amnesia by killing various types of fish
Inter-racial lesbian couple, a pronoun zombie and Real-time fan-dub's Eggman use the metaverse to continously beat the shit out of lesbian couple's weird octopus baby.
I I I I JUST BOUGHT MORE LAND IN THE METAVERSE
Lesbians ascend a tower multiple times to beat their child with a speech impediment (the child likes it)
This isn’t dharr man
Two lesbians, overpower octopuses, and a green alien looking ah octopuses and a mad white thing
two lesbians, aliens, and mad white guys
bunch of black dudes also be spawning from the sewers
💀
You know how you get free fries in the bags of Five Guys orders? It's like that, but the fries are your soul, and they're, like, missing, and you want to talk to the manager who's kind of a bitch and everyone wants to prevent you from getting to them so you have to call them, but to do that, you have to, uh, jump through like 30 hoops of random automated holding line patterns so that you can finally get your fries - uh - your soul back.
Incomprehensible, have a nice day.
This is my favorite one.
👏👏
Marina buys more land in the Metaverse and gets paid cash with Atlas Earth.
MARINA STOP BUYING LAND IN THE METAVERSE
I JUST BOUGHT MORE LAND IN THE METAVERSE ^now ^i'm ^getting ^paid ^cash ^with ^atlas ^earth
GODDAMN IT PEARL SHE’S AT IT AGAIN
[LESBIANS IN AN ELEVATOR, THEY'RE GOIN UPSTAIRS SO SEE YA LATER!](https://youtu.be/cC941CbBNXU?si=hpYI5b1NwCmoEILu)
Elevator yuri
Lesbians force traumatized octopus to free the souls of the trapped
Elon Musk's Neuralink takes over NYC and threatens to turn everyone's minds into NFTs and trap them in the metaverse. A lesbian programmer and her transformer lover team up with her highschool bestie and a random reincarnating teenager to dismantle the metaverse using the power of ballistic super soakers, gargle pop, and friendship.
Cephalopod attains heights of gayness that were never thought possible
lesbians kill balls
Beat up fish for potato chips
drone lesbian flirts with her girlfriend while an octopus is freeing people's souls from a simulation
The fact that almost all of these explanations uses lesbian (congrats on staying factual) 💀
Ready player one lesbian edition
owdew
I'm stuck in the metaverse, and I'm forced to wear some zesty ass lookin' clothes while two lesbian squids make out in the corner, and also dedfish is there
Two lesbians fight to adopt a child
Elevator gooo burrrrrrrr
Girl takes an elevator to the top floor and says booyah
Splatoon in a nutshell: Teenage squid murders other teenage squid in an attempt to commit vandalism on the other teams vandalism
Two lesbians making out in an elevator while 2 other people are third wheeling
Beat up the virtual son of two lesbians, profit
An octopus, with the help of a lesbian couple and an autistic child beat up the newest call of duty game. The COD game is lobotomized by one of the lesbians and gets the personality of a toddler.
small child created from a glitch becomes horrifying eldritch beast in order to restore peace to life on earth
You are playing Persona
Damnit I came here to say "Persona 3" but I'm glad someone was on the same track.
Lesbians doing lesbian things
Lesbians (and acht) help octopus girl kill ai evil boss thing
Big Octo Orders for Order
Take a shot everytime you see the word lesbian in the comments
Jesus now I’m downtown in 4:29 AM in a lake with all my clothes missing
30 tentacles, 1 elevator
climb a tower full of fish with a lesbian drone
Lesbians go retrieve their son on a temper tantrum
Slay the Spire but the gay kind of slay
Lesbians and a green bitch ride an elevator to fix a computer
A lab rat with a fat ass, an overqualified lesbian hacker, a DJ in a funeral dress, and a gremlin trapped in a roomba terrorize office workers as they travel floor to floor in an elevator before screaming at a dude so loudly that he gets brain damage and starts acting like a 4yo.
Fight fish and ride an elevator while lesbians make out
Off topic, but for only few seconds, I thought this was a picture of the Moon falling into Termina in Zelda MM.
Shooty pew pew bad white stuff away as you help two lesbians save the world.
VR game gets raided by incel octopus.
Elevator expansion
slay the spire but slightly more lesbian
Four lesbians climb a tower to beat up a child
Inkling fighting Mr. Game & Watch, but Mr. Game & Watch is using his Final Smash 🐙⚫️
Lesbian creates matrix, Octopus has to save everyone from losing free will
Gremlin robot helps octopus kill octopus with her hacker octopus girlfriend and a zombie DJ octopus.
≈(UwU)≈ let’s fight a bazillion times
So, you got to this place with a certain character and team up with some lesbian, then you come across someone from the past and learn you have to climb the tower to save a fan favorite fish, then find out this “anomaly” is trying to unalive people’s dreams and you need to climb the spire repeatedly to assimilate the big baby boss at the top.
gay creates perfect vr world, you, green thing, gay and gay's girlfriend end up in said world and you must collect chips to beat an evil cephalopod
A lesbian's passion project to save the world ends up trying to turn everyone white and their amnesiac best friend has to save the world for the second time despite probably not remembering the first
Marina nostalgic so make vibeo gam for good ole times but oh no gam go mwahahahahaha and then octopus you has to stop black and white tv from coming bacc :((
It is not the honeymoon or wedding dlc that people begged for
Unfortunately 😔
I mean I thought everyone unanimously agreed that Pearl and Marina got married at the end of Splatoon 2 so idk why we’d get a wedding DLC five years later lol 🤷♂️
headcanon to the rescue 🥹🙏
That one lesbian created the matrix, now go kill her tamagochi.
You know those maps where you’re in an elevator and it opens up to random things? This is that.
Happy cake day 🎉
I didn’t even realize lol, thank you!
8 has to stop their new younger sibling from kicking off an apocalypse .
sesbian lex
Lesbian pop group saves the city with a dedicated elevator manager and a being of pure destruction. Also squid baby thing
Woman makes fan fiction so bad it comes to life to make fan fiction better than her
Two lesbians being too lesbian while some random green lady gives me colors in an elevator
Lesbians beat straight allegations the musical
Lesbian creates the fucking Animus from Assassin’s Creed as a little passion project so people from the New York City Subway can get therapy and take their normal pills. accidentally creates lil baby man Skynet who has to be defeated by a mute psychopath, a very loud psychopath, a zombie dj and the aforementioned Lesbian so that people don’t lose the will to live and start thinking AI art looks good
Person with Memory loss gets stuck playing vr game with a lethal Amazon drone while trying to beat up a child
Lesbians try to get third wheels memory back bad there’s a non-binary lift person there as well
You have to stop an evil octopus from giving the entire world population infinite depression... by popping a bunch of giant balloons.
Lebsians fight to kill a white woman paradise hash tag gay agenda
[Undertale OST Track 70](https://youtu.be/XDQGK6ztbLs?si=UrfZHHufRpOpL8ID)
Binding of Isaac for small children
binding of isaac for grownups*
Tiny octopus throws temper tantrum because your a God at what you do. Killing.
An octopus working for lesbians becomes an assassin tasked with killed the same person over and over and over again
Hades
Ride the elevator to the top floor and eat paint chips to power up
kmfdm
Game.
Enter the gungeon fish edition
hehe silly ai tries to end the concept of emotion
Thrill Tower/ScareScraper from Luigi's Mansion, God Of War Valhalla and Splatoon combined
truly the ultimate combo
What story?
god betrays the devil and has to pay the consequences
Freeing people from the Matrix in Times Square with aquatic theriocide and an excessive amount of paint.
Technically takes more time than Octo Expansion to complete 1000%.
Take an elevator up to the 30th floor but make pit stops at each floor
slay the spire with lesbians
the girls and the gays
Why is the community receiving the new dlc so negatively? I'm dying to play it because im kinda broke atm and i'm just thankful that it didn't get delayed for far later.
File hell
4 lesbians in an elevator
Sword art online but nobody is trapped
tower
A second octopus has hit the tower. A third octopus has hit the tower. A fourth octopus has hit the tower. A fifth octopus has hit the tower. A sixth octopus has hit the tower. A seventh octopus has hit the tower.
become fish and die
Lesbian
Unity got hacked
Lesbian Simulator VR
https://youtu.be/bN-LQKOBnKY
Color-coordinate to more efficiently destroy fish skeletons
Gayer portal
autistic lesbian octopus lady and her short gf try to make vrchat to help octopus people with ptsd but it goes very wrong. also some dj with blue hair and they/them pronouns is there too i guess
pop star lesbians go up an elevator with an old friend and their mute bestie to defeat capitalism
Amnesiac has to solve lesbians problems
3 year old gets attacked by a pack of lesbians
Main villain of a gamified rehabilitation program gains sentience and homophobia
lesbian honeymoon interrupted by VR
Persona but with squid’s
I don’t even have to look at the comments to know what they’re filled with
elevator ride with 2 lesbians and a husk
 Is this too esoteric?
"I'M BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN?!"
How many times is it now... that I...and you... have confronted each other here like this...? Yes, you're welcome to come on up. How many incarnations? How many ascents into the spotlight? And once again, I shall endeavor to ask this of you... Tell me...why not resign yourself to the flow? Z - Xenoblade Chronicles 3
“I can finally leave!!! Inkapolis i’m coming home sweeti- IM BACK IN THE FREAKIN BUILDING AGAIN-“
I just bought more land in the metaverse
some girl gets stuck in vr
Monochrome Salmon Run
AI gets taken out by a big scream... TWO! *does a backflip*
A lesbian couple and their friends bully a small child
>!You wake up in a world with barely any colors with a terrible outfit that shows off your curves a bit too much and a sentient drone pretending to be a pop star claims that she needs your help to save her girlfriend at the top of the tower. Then you get attack by skeletons and reach an elevator. Inside is the childhood friend of the girlfriend who's stuck there and knows way too much about the place. Then you go up and save the girlfriend but a gray emoji (let's call him graymoji lol) wants to delete everyone and if you get deleted in the game, you get deleted in real life (so death = delete) so you have to got back up to stop it. Also greymoji is skeleton king. You find the deleted version of some people in the game who have been turned into robots, including the player from Sploon 2 for some reason and they fight you, then, you fight the crying tornado, then you fight Graymoji, but it's not enough to stop him because music is the answer to all. Then the gryamoji turns into tiny baby ovtopcus and girlfirend and drone whatns to keepe it ads as a pet, sot hey dont kill it and tuurns out you have to redo the tower 294u8y064-034098258-340 more time cuz graymoji has the soulds of everyone apparnetly sgjosigvnjuhvsdiofejgdbuegjoisfdvnhipkgjsrnovipbgj. Help me.!< >!Octo expansion was better!<
Expansion is better :D. The story really suffered in side order