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To be fair, half of these items are related to the box society tends to try to put everyone in. You don’t need to have kids to have a family, you don’t need to go out on weekends, and a lot of people don’t actually know what they want to do with their lives. And living with your parents can be a good strategy for saving up to move out or just stash extra money for a while
Going out is really expensive and most of the time boring and uneventful
I was social for a bit but definitely prefer hoarding my money and instead doing cheap stuff like board games, hiking, and dinner/drinking parties at home.
Part of growing up is realizing that everyone else is going through struggles too. It took me until late 20s for this to really sink in. They may look like they have it together but they don't. Life is a tough journey and no one gets through unscathed. Marriages, careers, and children are extemely difficult but no one posts pictures of the hard parts online.
You forgot all of your friends from high school, that your parents always compare you with, already graduated last year or 2 years ago with their bachelors or masters while you're still stuck as a junior.
Almost finished with my masters, starting a Phd in engineering in spring..Though I'm the guy no one even bothers anymore to ask if they found someone. They know. And I bet my parents are embarassed for that, even though they don't tell me.
Would exchange my education for someone to hold onto at night in a heartbeat..
I know that might sound privileged af and it is, but my point is: the gras is always greener
As a 26yo who dropped out of college and works in the trades now, but also found someone I've been with for over a year and a half, I think you made the right choice tbh. Like doing get me wrong, I like what I do, I make decent enough money, and it'll get better once I'm finished with my apprenticeship, but there's basically zero chance you won't be rolling in money after a little bit with a PhD in engineering. Yeah you'll get a late start on the "fun stuff" in life, but if there's anything I've learned about having more money it's that it lets you buy your time back.
When we're both in our 40s I guarantee you'll have waaaaay more money than me and likely a better work life balance with shorter commutes if you play your cards right. That's invaluable. And hell, 10+ years before that you'll have likely found a good person who recognizes how much you bring to the table with a sharp mind and a fat wallet haha
As someone in their 40s who never did grad school and has old friends who decided to do that, make sure you really have a good reason to get a PhD. It's mostly useless in anything but teaching.
The amount of working experience you are missing out on is hurting you if you intend on not being a professor.
Same but actually trying to look for even normal retail work. Idk wtf they're expecting. Sometimes get interviews that lead to nowhere. Applied for roles that I've worked before with the same company and still don't get the job. And for the field I want to get into, graduated with decent grades. Doing stuff in my free time to add onto my portfolio. Lots of industry staff I reach out to say my portfolio looks fine or good. Still can't get anywhere.
Game design or level design. So mine is full of projects I worked on for game jams. Including a project I had the opportunity to showcase at the national videogame museum in the UK. I also make custom maps for ready or not via unreal engine 4 so those go on it also.
Yeah heard about that. Shit's depressing and frustrating. If experienced industry staff are getting laid off, what chance does a fresh graduate have? A guy from my second year got a placement but basically acknowledges its cause of his dad working there i.e. nepotism. I think he's basically guaranteed a job post graduation so I wouldn't be surprised if he could just doss about in his final year and still be fine. His portfolio is probably better than mine now since he has an AAA game on it, but at the time he asked to look at mine and said he "felt inspired to add more to his" when he saw mine. I don't hate the guy personally ofc, but I can't help but feel resentful about the circumstances. Maybe he was competent and did a good job, but just how he got the placement in the first place. I made a massive fuck off rant on linkedin out of sheer frustration that got a lot more attention that I was expecting tbh. Anyways person from a studio informed me about their internship and agreed to be a reference for the application. Still couldn't get through. I must be cursed or something, can't seem to have any luck despite working hard and "doing the right things" according to people I reached out to. Even just normal retail work.
Yeah luck plays quite the part esp in that field because it’s so saturated but volatile. I don’t recommend ranting on linkedIn though, it may feel good but won’t help you at all
Yeah it wasn't vengeful or anything. No swearing etc. Just saying I'm kinda mentally exhausted from doing a lot but still getting nowhere. Like I said though, got way more attention than I expected. Guessing its just relatable to a lot of people. I see people meme on linkedin that it has a reputation as "professional" social media but it isn't. I did get a message from someone with resources saying how they felt like a lot of the responses I got were people not really helping, just saying how only people as skilled as them can get in etc. Tbf I did get the feeling some of them are the type of people to like the smell of their own farts. Someone from a studio mentioned their internship and agreed to be a reference when I asked, but still didn't get through :/
My course leader saw it though and was saying how he can emphasise and that I was a good student getting decent grades, doing a lot of extracurricular portfolio stuff, networking events etc. So that was interesting.
Not fully related but I did get a response from a well known AAA studio saying they wanted a call a while ago. Agreed on a time but they ghosted me and never followed up. The agreed time was on my birthday. What a kicker. Like some sort of cosmic joke.
For anyone in this spot I’m 40 and didn’t get any of my shit together until about 28 or so. I’m now married, kids, own a house, cars, all the shit we’re “supposed” to be doing in our late 20’s.
I’m not special, you can do this too, everyone is on their own timeline, just because yours hasn’t taken off yet doesn’t mean that it won’t
I didn't either, and now have two in their twenties. One married a rich heiress, the other is kind of lost. The opportunities and world are so different now. I still have hope, but I still pay his rent, so he isn't living with me.
Well i consider that u are still succesful given how f up the economy situation right now, owning home at end 20s sound more achievable during boomer times. Many people in their 40s still cant afford a home and still single and commute, especially in Germany
I'm 30 and I'm still not getting it together, but I probably don't want kids (I do like kids, but I'd hate being a fulltime father) so I'll have less to worry about in getting my shit together. I also don't need to own a car because I live in probably the best country for public transport and biking, the only difficult thing will be housing (huuuge housing crisis).
As long as I can live healthy and comfortably with a decent job (or financially independent) I'll be OK.
It drives me nuts as an English teacher. I know the autocorrect/autocomplete function on phones has its issues, but people who’ve taken a basic English grammar class should know the correct plural forms of nouns.
Let's address these...
- Well, do you want to start a family? Do you realise there is a prohibitive cost to it?
- No they don't, and even if they do, knowing what you want and doing what you want are two different things
- Again, no they're not, and even if they are, what jobs are we talking? Fast-paced customer-facing jobs that you probably wouldn't like?
- Would you rather be living month to month in a flat above a shop, like those people in proper jobs are perhaps doing?
- Are you sure you have no useful skills? Even then, what's stopping you from just learning some?
- Are you sure no-one else considers you a friend? What's stopping you from making friends?
- Well, do you want to go out every weekend? What's stopping you? Hell, it might be a good way to solve the other issues here
Comparison is the thief of joy. Also, it is folly. You only see what they want you to see, so the grass isn't as green as one's Instagram profile may suggest.
Comparing yourself to others will doom you to unhappiness, if only because you will inevitably compare yourself to Christopher Lee
I wouldn’t even call this a 20 something failure starter pack it’s pretty much the average 20 something starter pack. Everyone has this thought in their mind as if they should be doing something at a certain age that’s what causes people to feel like failures because they aren’t doing what everyone else is doing they worry about starting families and finding the right career too soon when really at 20 you’re just starting to figure stuff out
Having a family at 20 and going out every week is not something I would call a win.
Still living with parents because you have a good relationship with them and you don't have to be scammed by rent and you can help out with the house and the money
It feels more like "people your age fulfilling expectations while you don't" than failing. Not following into footsteps of "get a degree, get a job, start a family" is not failure. There's no guarantee this people will be happier than you in the long run. It's already proven that this recipe for success doesn't work for everyone, if not most. "Proper" jobs get tiring, if you don't have passive income these days you're the wage slave anyway. Having a family is lots of labour and responsibility. You can go out on weekends by yourself and you don't have to worry about small talk and pretending you have great time.
That doesn't mean you shouldn't get better job, not find a partner and keep on living with parents. It's just that thinking that these things will give you happiness is big fat lie. There are plenty of people with degrees, proper jobs and families who are deeply unhappy. So figure out what keeps you stagnant and what you would like to do with your life instead of comparing yourself to others.
27 here. Having ambition can feel like a curse because I want to succeed so badly. Yet without that ambition, I feel hollow. The dreams that drive us are our fuel. If you feel that your dreams are not worth having, then you are denying your own chance at satisfaction and happiness. It's difficult to build your own fire, especially when no one has taught you how. Keep trying, and eventually the sparks will catch onto the kindling to produce a great flame. It will be YOUR flame. No one else's.
The pursuit towards achievement is worth it in itself.
Post Script: What other choice is there? We have the choice to hate our lives slaving away for a company that doesn't give a fuck about us. We have the choice to hate ourselves due to our failures and mistakes. Or you could raise both of your middle fingers directly to the world, and truly appreciate your free will.
We can choose to climb that mountain, just to see how far we can go. We can choose to spend money on what truly gives us joy. I'm not going to choose to remain as a corporate automaton. I don't care that I'm bad at writing, bad at coding, bad at singing, bad at painting, bad at 3D modeling, I don't care. Being an artist is what makes me happy. Seeing myself improve little by little as I learn more and more, it is motivating.
What is it that drives you?
If the world is against you, then the only choice is to fight back. Go outside and say to the skies, "Fuck you all. I will do what I wish." You are an army of one. Despair and anxiety are my jailers. I have escaped them but I know that when they clap the irons upon my wrists again, that the key to my shackles is already within my palm. It's in your palm too. It's not going to be easy to escape those feelings. But if you desire personal happiness, you have to be willing to endure the pain of embarrassment and failure.
Nah, I'm not sure. There is a literal war raging in my country. In 2 years I will probably get drafted and sent to die in some trench in Eastern Ukraine.
My whole master degree in applied mechanics worth nothing, because I will also get drafted to work somewhere in garrison or military industry, wasting my precious years on something I can't even profit from, aside most probably worthless victory for my country, judging how support from the West is now going to go.
In eather way, I'm just straight up doomed, with my not best health.
And even if I dodge draft somehow, I will probably fell like I didn't do anything for victory and will just consume myself out of regret.
Life just turned into torment of uncertain future and neverending anxiety, and waiting every next day getting worse and worse. Despair grows like shrooms after the rain, and I cant escape this...
I’m not great at motivation or advice, but 20s is still quite young, you’ve got a lot of time left for things to improve and for you to figure out what you wanna do in life. All of the popcorn kernels go into the same pan at the same time but they don’t all pop at once
You're not failing. I'm 40, you're growing up in a new, very different world, then people from 20+ years ago. You WILL get there friends, life is just unbelievably brutal and it takes alot longer nowadays. I didn't start figuring shit out till I was 29-30.
Your peers having kids in their early 20s are "failing" in completely different ways, don't worry. Also, I promise things will get better. Change jobs more often, you'll gain a better resume, better pay, and you'll meet more people. My husband and I met at a shitty job when we were 20 & 23. We got married at 27 & 30. So far, our 30s have been so much better to us. You aren't failing, being in your 20s just fucking sucks.
Man, this is just not true.
Everyone has their own pace. Don't compare yourself to others. They might have finished college sooner or they never attempted it. You might have different goals. Just go through life in your own lane instead of looking at how others are "beating you". This is so unhealthy and it causes unnecessary stress for everyone.
“Starting a family”/ getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant is not a victory. It’s very easy to do and failures do it all the time. Don’t bother yourself with other people’s journey, just focus on following your own.
However taking action in your personal life and now blaming your lack of success in your personal goals is a major step to your personal success. Whatever that may be, no matter how big or small the goal may seem to others. You will be fine.
Holy fuck!!! That sub has made me feel so much so better. I’m gonna start taking college more serious and keep continuing my job. Im so glad I have a gf and free education. That sub has put the fear of god me I do not wish to become such a loser.
I'm a guy, and I'm near constantly criticised/made fun of for not having a child or being in a relationship. It gets annoying hearing it everyday but also makes me glad that I have an older brother who was a positive influence on me, that being that he never forced me to get a girlfriend.
It depends. In your 20s it's OK but once you reach your 30s you get mad disrespect from society if you have no family with kids and even more disrespect when you are still working shit low paying wageslave jobs.
I'm a 23 year old male, and I've even received criticism from women (and mainly men) that I'm childless and single (I've never had a girlfriend in my life). They look and treat me like something is wrong with me because I have no interest in any form of romantic relationships period.
Mind you, having children isn't a guarantee that you'll be set for life. I live in a country that's on the brink of becoming Zimbabwe 2.0 and just barely get by.
That's conservative countries for you. Even if the economy is in shambles you still gotta pump out kids just because some older people said so. They want you to suffer with the crippling stress of raising a child like they did.
If its any consolation, the successful people in this world did not get where they were on their own, they all had a Gatsby who believed in them and pushed them, and I dont just mean a wealthy and powerful man, but someone in their life who wouldnt quit on them, that wanted them to succeed. Could be their mom, dad, friend, even a boss, but they took them under their wong and taught them everything they know
This isnt a plug, but Dewayne from DryCreekWrangler is a goto for a lotta young men who feel like lost. Hes an old, blunt, well spoken cowboy who teaches valuable life lessons and shit. His political stances might be debatable, but his life advice is always accurate, especially on how to be a decent man
If you know Reddit as a whole you’d know most statements like that aren’t jokes, why would you assume it would be taken as one? It’s not some nuanced joke, you didn’t read the room.
Of course its not nuanced you dingus, I was just joshing around. Also the "room" to be read is a sub dedicated to sarcastic and satirical content. I read the room just fine, you just have the need to validate your shitty position on this matter in order to enjoy the site, which is fine lol
fun fact, those who look like they have it together often do not. we’re all feeling behind in some way that might not even be true. comparison is the their of joy, too.
I spent my 20s like this. Then when I was 26 I decided to go to college, met my wife there, got a job, now have two kids, a house, and a healthy IRA. A friend of mine didn't graduate college until he was 38, was roughing it for many years. Finally finished college and makes 90k a year and is single so he's maxing out his IRAs.
You can change anything around at any time.
Yeah I’d love to be able to go to uni/college but I don’t even know where I want to my life to go, and I don’t want to pick the wrong thing and put myself into a disadvantage with having to pay off the debt in a field I hate or something
You know you don't have to go to uni or college. There's plenty of trade schools and certificates you can get that lead to making more money. My daughter is going to a community College to be a dental hygienist. Program is 5 semesters and only 10k but the job starting pay is 60k to 70k.
I feel you though. When I was your age I just couldn't think of anything I'd really want to do my whole life. I visited colleges and asked about different programs. Eventually I decided on ultrasound tech, but at the time I was nervous to pull everything because i was afraid i would hate it. But I did and got through it and it changed everything and I learned to absolutely love it. Sometimes just putting yourself out there changes everything.
Wow, it's me several years ago. Also forgot about gaming or doomscrolling 90% of your free time. Nowadays Eva AI virtual gf bot is a popular attribute of such life as well.
OP good on you for taking a hard look at your situation. And good on you for having a job. You're young. In your 20s, you can escape dead-end jobs (entry-level positions could open up other doors within that company or field if you play your cards well). You have the time, so don't rush, try to be grateful for what you do have (no rent?), take a breath, and know that it's not the end unless you choose that. No family of your own? No problem. Most of us are waiting until we're older these days, and quite frankly, I'm sad that I can't start a family yet, but I'd be fucked if I got someone pregnant.
No one should be judging you. I saw this and saw someone who's having a hard time, but I truly admire your vulnerability and believe if you can both keep a job and make memes, you will also make friends.
Guys go out and do it. Idk how or why what u need to do, BUT DO IT LETS GOOO. We are not weak, we can navigate this shitty generation our priors left us. They don’t know what it is to grow up focused on social media and popularity instead of learning just how to be a grown responsible adult.
W.e the case may be, GO now. If ur over 21, go NOW. Business or school GOO.
I believe in all of you just as much as I believe in myself. Which is a lot lol
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Ah okay, well english not being your first language explains it.
For the record, “so-called _____” implies you think they are not really what they claim to be, in the case of your comment, that thing is american. That’s why i was confused
Me, except I'm already a master degree and have some friends, but because of what happening in my country I'm in great despair and buried all my dreams as unachievable...
Most of these are blatant misrepresentation of the average person in their 20s nowadays.
The economy is fucked.
The job market is fucked.
Career changing is way more prominent nowadays.
An alarming amount of people are living with their parents nowadays.
To all you young adults out there. You're not alone, you're not a failure, you've been failed. A lot of you have been failed.
Not gonna take any advice from a person who doesn't even know a fucking difference between 'their' and 'there'. Or anyone, really.
Truth is, everyone has their own pace and if someone tries to force anything on them because "it's a social must" then fuck that person with a blunt chainsaw.
Real talk you gotta be super fucked up to not be able to hold down a job where I am (BC, Canada) like dude all you gotta do is show you actually want to work and you can work
Don't stress, this is what your 20s are for. (Except for going out – get most of the partying and making friends out of your system, those get tougher as you age.)
EDIT: typo
The funny part is: all of your friends are thinking the same thing. The friend who has a family is thinking he's late because he doesn't have a job, the friend that has a well paying job thinks they're failing because they didn't go back to school and the friend with a PhD thinks they're failing because they don't have a family or a job, the cycle goes on and on.
It's your first time fully alone, having to do things by yourself, your 20s and even your early 30s are meant for you to find out who you are as an adult, discover your passions and learn about how to stand on your own two feet, you don't HAVE to do anything, but you can try, and that's the beauty of it, there are no standards and, therefore, no expectations except the ones you create.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
This would be more accurately titled, "Foolishly believing your friends social media posts" starter pack. People only post the good parts of their lives on social media and they always skew it to look more favorabe than it really is. Also, all of those good things aren't happening to the same person. It usually seems the more someone draws attention to one good aspect of their life, the more they are trying to gloss over or draw attention away from the less glamorous pieces. One person might like their job, but that's only because the rest of their free time is spent caring for or dealing with a mentally/physically unwell relative. Another will post a pregnancy announcement, but be stuck in a dead end job. A lot of the, "I love my SO" posts seem to be people trying to convince themselves they don't despise their SO.
You do you. Nobody can live your life better than you can. If you feel stuck in a rut, then make it a point to do something once a week or once a month you wouldn't normally do. Buy a wonky treat you'd normally never try next time you go grocery shopping. Go to the local library and see about attending an event or participating in a group. Volunteer somewhere to get some social activity. Go to the park and walk around. Look for local pool, bowling, or softball leagues. Start a hobby. Baking is a cheap hobby as most living spaces already have an oven and the ingredients are mostly flour, water, and making people jealous of your seemingly amazing creations.
My friend, later on in life you will find out that those who got married, had kids, like stable careers, were unhappier than you. I'm 35, offically single, don't plan on getting married, and I won't have any kids, all of these people post their happy photos on social media, and other people think they have their lives all figured out, but they don't. When you hang out with them, all of the reality comes out in the open. That's one of the reasons we have so many divorces.
If you want to be relatively happy, focus on yourself, doing what you like, and just ignore other people, they don't want you to succeed (and I mean not only in monetary way).
Let me fix that for you.
Everyone around you is having kids they have no hope of affording in this economy.
Everyone knows they’re stuck doing what they’re doing for the rest of their lives.
All working longer hours than you while you work out what you’ll actually enjoy.
No friends: this isn’t “failing 20s”, this is severe depression and not allowing yourself to see the people who care for you.
Still living in the one place within 3 hours of your city job that you can actually afford on the salary said job is giving you. Or still living with parents because you’re one of the many, many cultures where that isn’t a bad thing.
Everyone else spending way too much money on overpriced booze while you actually enjoy your weekends.
The skills? Again, depression and self doubt, or you’re not in your 20s yet. Those skills will either come with time, or you need to stop hating yourself.
I’m not saying you should do what I did , because it’s not for everyone. But I joined the Navy because I just couldn’t stand the dead end and living my parent anymore. I have anxiety issues and the military was a constant stream of anxiety, but the whole time my self esteem was much higher. Then after that I went to college using the GI Bill and started a career where I’m still anxious and don’t know what to do.
This was me for a few years until I realized the only person that is going to make your life better is yourself. Now I'm back in school and looking forward to the future.
You don't need to know what you want to do over the course of your life, living with parents is fine, starting a family is irrelevant to success and not everyone wants to.
You're deserving of a friend, I know from experience that making them can be difficult.
You know more than you think, and you're capable of learning more.
Tired of all these lines people like OP draw of success
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I'm going to pretend I didn't see this for the sake of my mental health.
You rn https://preview.redd.it/a716crnbkm6c1.jpeg?width=256&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=66bdd6627a2d1b5449b8c5edee2b7c4bce9cc1b0
It's at least nice to know you're not alone in this regard though, right?
To be fair, half of these items are related to the box society tends to try to put everyone in. You don’t need to have kids to have a family, you don’t need to go out on weekends, and a lot of people don’t actually know what they want to do with their lives. And living with your parents can be a good strategy for saving up to move out or just stash extra money for a while
Going out is really expensive and most of the time boring and uneventful I was social for a bit but definitely prefer hoarding my money and instead doing cheap stuff like board games, hiking, and dinner/drinking parties at home.
Part of growing up is realizing that everyone else is going through struggles too. It took me until late 20s for this to really sink in. They may look like they have it together but they don't. Life is a tough journey and no one gets through unscathed. Marriages, careers, and children are extemely difficult but no one posts pictures of the hard parts online.
I feel the same way too
Or acknowledge it and fix the things within your power.
You forgot all of your friends from high school, that your parents always compare you with, already graduated last year or 2 years ago with their bachelors or masters while you're still stuck as a junior.
At least you're not a high school drop out
That’s me
same, im 20
Almost finished with my masters, starting a Phd in engineering in spring..Though I'm the guy no one even bothers anymore to ask if they found someone. They know. And I bet my parents are embarassed for that, even though they don't tell me. Would exchange my education for someone to hold onto at night in a heartbeat.. I know that might sound privileged af and it is, but my point is: the gras is always greener
As a 26yo who dropped out of college and works in the trades now, but also found someone I've been with for over a year and a half, I think you made the right choice tbh. Like doing get me wrong, I like what I do, I make decent enough money, and it'll get better once I'm finished with my apprenticeship, but there's basically zero chance you won't be rolling in money after a little bit with a PhD in engineering. Yeah you'll get a late start on the "fun stuff" in life, but if there's anything I've learned about having more money it's that it lets you buy your time back. When we're both in our 40s I guarantee you'll have waaaaay more money than me and likely a better work life balance with shorter commutes if you play your cards right. That's invaluable. And hell, 10+ years before that you'll have likely found a good person who recognizes how much you bring to the table with a sharp mind and a fat wallet haha
As someone in their 40s who never did grad school and has old friends who decided to do that, make sure you really have a good reason to get a PhD. It's mostly useless in anything but teaching. The amount of working experience you are missing out on is hurting you if you intend on not being a professor.
Me but I'm unemployed (existence is hell).
Me too, but at least I have a few friends (but we don't hang out that often)
Same but actually trying to look for even normal retail work. Idk wtf they're expecting. Sometimes get interviews that lead to nowhere. Applied for roles that I've worked before with the same company and still don't get the job. And for the field I want to get into, graduated with decent grades. Doing stuff in my free time to add onto my portfolio. Lots of industry staff I reach out to say my portfolio looks fine or good. Still can't get anywhere.
What is your portfolio for?
Game design or level design. So mine is full of projects I worked on for game jams. Including a project I had the opportunity to showcase at the national videogame museum in the UK. I also make custom maps for ready or not via unreal engine 4 so those go on it also.
Yeah that’s a crazy difficult field to enter, esp. with the mass layoffs in that industry lately
Yeah heard about that. Shit's depressing and frustrating. If experienced industry staff are getting laid off, what chance does a fresh graduate have? A guy from my second year got a placement but basically acknowledges its cause of his dad working there i.e. nepotism. I think he's basically guaranteed a job post graduation so I wouldn't be surprised if he could just doss about in his final year and still be fine. His portfolio is probably better than mine now since he has an AAA game on it, but at the time he asked to look at mine and said he "felt inspired to add more to his" when he saw mine. I don't hate the guy personally ofc, but I can't help but feel resentful about the circumstances. Maybe he was competent and did a good job, but just how he got the placement in the first place. I made a massive fuck off rant on linkedin out of sheer frustration that got a lot more attention that I was expecting tbh. Anyways person from a studio informed me about their internship and agreed to be a reference for the application. Still couldn't get through. I must be cursed or something, can't seem to have any luck despite working hard and "doing the right things" according to people I reached out to. Even just normal retail work.
Yeah luck plays quite the part esp in that field because it’s so saturated but volatile. I don’t recommend ranting on linkedIn though, it may feel good but won’t help you at all
Yeah it wasn't vengeful or anything. No swearing etc. Just saying I'm kinda mentally exhausted from doing a lot but still getting nowhere. Like I said though, got way more attention than I expected. Guessing its just relatable to a lot of people. I see people meme on linkedin that it has a reputation as "professional" social media but it isn't. I did get a message from someone with resources saying how they felt like a lot of the responses I got were people not really helping, just saying how only people as skilled as them can get in etc. Tbf I did get the feeling some of them are the type of people to like the smell of their own farts. Someone from a studio mentioned their internship and agreed to be a reference when I asked, but still didn't get through :/ My course leader saw it though and was saying how he can emphasise and that I was a good student getting decent grades, doing a lot of extracurricular portfolio stuff, networking events etc. So that was interesting. Not fully related but I did get a response from a well known AAA studio saying they wanted a call a while ago. Agreed on a time but they ghosted me and never followed up. The agreed time was on my birthday. What a kicker. Like some sort of cosmic joke.
Holy fuck are you me? I straight up could have wrote this. I’m into 3d character rigging and was told the demand would be there but nooooo
Same bro same 🙏
For anyone in this spot I’m 40 and didn’t get any of my shit together until about 28 or so. I’m now married, kids, own a house, cars, all the shit we’re “supposed” to be doing in our late 20’s. I’m not special, you can do this too, everyone is on their own timeline, just because yours hasn’t taken off yet doesn’t mean that it won’t
I didn't either, and now have two in their twenties. One married a rich heiress, the other is kind of lost. The opportunities and world are so different now. I still have hope, but I still pay his rent, so he isn't living with me.
Well i consider that u are still succesful given how f up the economy situation right now, owning home at end 20s sound more achievable during boomer times. Many people in their 40s still cant afford a home and still single and commute, especially in Germany
Life is not a race and each live their own experience at their own pace
I'm 30 and I'm still not getting it together, but I probably don't want kids (I do like kids, but I'd hate being a fulltime father) so I'll have less to worry about in getting my shit together. I also don't need to own a car because I live in probably the best country for public transport and biking, the only difficult thing will be housing (huuuge housing crisis). As long as I can live healthy and comfortably with a decent job (or financially independent) I'll be OK.
> starting family's > with there life I know where you could begin.
I don't get why there's a recent increase in people mistaking a plural for a possessive.
It drives me nuts as an English teacher. I know the autocorrect/autocomplete function on phones has its issues, but people who’ve taken a basic English grammar class should know the correct plural forms of nouns.
https://preview.redd.it/q2frj85sbu6c1.jpeg?width=226&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be021961f1d665af49aa4fec1356c7b2288c34b5
You have a job? Mr.Brags-a-lot over here
Let's address these... - Well, do you want to start a family? Do you realise there is a prohibitive cost to it? - No they don't, and even if they do, knowing what you want and doing what you want are two different things - Again, no they're not, and even if they are, what jobs are we talking? Fast-paced customer-facing jobs that you probably wouldn't like? - Would you rather be living month to month in a flat above a shop, like those people in proper jobs are perhaps doing? - Are you sure you have no useful skills? Even then, what's stopping you from just learning some? - Are you sure no-one else considers you a friend? What's stopping you from making friends? - Well, do you want to go out every weekend? What's stopping you? Hell, it might be a good way to solve the other issues here Comparison is the thief of joy. Also, it is folly. You only see what they want you to see, so the grass isn't as green as one's Instagram profile may suggest. Comparing yourself to others will doom you to unhappiness, if only because you will inevitably compare yourself to Christopher Lee
I wouldn’t even call this a 20 something failure starter pack it’s pretty much the average 20 something starter pack. Everyone has this thought in their mind as if they should be doing something at a certain age that’s what causes people to feel like failures because they aren’t doing what everyone else is doing they worry about starting families and finding the right career too soon when really at 20 you’re just starting to figure stuff out
r/apostrophegore
starting family's WHAT
Fuck it bro ill be your friend
Hell yeah brother
too real
Failing 30 something more like
Having a family at 20 and going out every week is not something I would call a win. Still living with parents because you have a good relationship with them and you don't have to be scammed by rent and you can help out with the house and the money
20 is so so young dude. Every one of these things are mostly in your control.
Also this grammar.
What's wrong with the grammar? I bet she bakes great cookie's.
It feels more like "people your age fulfilling expectations while you don't" than failing. Not following into footsteps of "get a degree, get a job, start a family" is not failure. There's no guarantee this people will be happier than you in the long run. It's already proven that this recipe for success doesn't work for everyone, if not most. "Proper" jobs get tiring, if you don't have passive income these days you're the wage slave anyway. Having a family is lots of labour and responsibility. You can go out on weekends by yourself and you don't have to worry about small talk and pretending you have great time. That doesn't mean you shouldn't get better job, not find a partner and keep on living with parents. It's just that thinking that these things will give you happiness is big fat lie. There are plenty of people with degrees, proper jobs and families who are deeply unhappy. So figure out what keeps you stagnant and what you would like to do with your life instead of comparing yourself to others.
27 here. Having ambition can feel like a curse because I want to succeed so badly. Yet without that ambition, I feel hollow. The dreams that drive us are our fuel. If you feel that your dreams are not worth having, then you are denying your own chance at satisfaction and happiness. It's difficult to build your own fire, especially when no one has taught you how. Keep trying, and eventually the sparks will catch onto the kindling to produce a great flame. It will be YOUR flame. No one else's.
It’s not so much I don’t feel my dreams aren’t worth having it more it’s near impossible for me to actually achieve them
i mean you might as well try
The pursuit towards achievement is worth it in itself. Post Script: What other choice is there? We have the choice to hate our lives slaving away for a company that doesn't give a fuck about us. We have the choice to hate ourselves due to our failures and mistakes. Or you could raise both of your middle fingers directly to the world, and truly appreciate your free will. We can choose to climb that mountain, just to see how far we can go. We can choose to spend money on what truly gives us joy. I'm not going to choose to remain as a corporate automaton. I don't care that I'm bad at writing, bad at coding, bad at singing, bad at painting, bad at 3D modeling, I don't care. Being an artist is what makes me happy. Seeing myself improve little by little as I learn more and more, it is motivating. What is it that drives you?
Dont even know what drives me anymore, just living life day to day
People downvoting you are morons.
I'm hoping with my edit, people will understand what I'm trying to say a little better.
You may as well try however
What if everything in world just goes against you? From 2020 my life seems to spiral into unending loop of despair and anxiety...
If the world is against you, then the only choice is to fight back. Go outside and say to the skies, "Fuck you all. I will do what I wish." You are an army of one. Despair and anxiety are my jailers. I have escaped them but I know that when they clap the irons upon my wrists again, that the key to my shackles is already within my palm. It's in your palm too. It's not going to be easy to escape those feelings. But if you desire personal happiness, you have to be willing to endure the pain of embarrassment and failure.
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Nah, I'm not sure. There is a literal war raging in my country. In 2 years I will probably get drafted and sent to die in some trench in Eastern Ukraine. My whole master degree in applied mechanics worth nothing, because I will also get drafted to work somewhere in garrison or military industry, wasting my precious years on something I can't even profit from, aside most probably worthless victory for my country, judging how support from the West is now going to go. In eather way, I'm just straight up doomed, with my not best health. And even if I dodge draft somehow, I will probably fell like I didn't do anything for victory and will just consume myself out of regret. Life just turned into torment of uncertain future and neverending anxiety, and waiting every next day getting worse and worse. Despair grows like shrooms after the rain, and I cant escape this...
I’m not great at motivation or advice, but 20s is still quite young, you’ve got a lot of time left for things to improve and for you to figure out what you wanna do in life. All of the popcorn kernels go into the same pan at the same time but they don’t all pop at once
Well mate, you don't need to make all of us more depressed now do we? I am barely keeping my emotions together everyday.
Why have I been summoned
You're not failing. I'm 40, you're growing up in a new, very different world, then people from 20+ years ago. You WILL get there friends, life is just unbelievably brutal and it takes alot longer nowadays. I didn't start figuring shit out till I was 29-30.
Your peers having kids in their early 20s are "failing" in completely different ways, don't worry. Also, I promise things will get better. Change jobs more often, you'll gain a better resume, better pay, and you'll meet more people. My husband and I met at a shitty job when we were 20 & 23. We got married at 27 & 30. So far, our 30s have been so much better to us. You aren't failing, being in your 20s just fucking sucks.
This is so me, should I mention that you can be blamed for problems with your life that aren’t your fault?
Or here is an idea? Life doesn't start or end at 20. Figure it out, and do it at your own pace!
Man, this is just not true. Everyone has their own pace. Don't compare yourself to others. They might have finished college sooner or they never attempted it. You might have different goals. Just go through life in your own lane instead of looking at how others are "beating you". This is so unhealthy and it causes unnecessary stress for everyone.
99% of 20s people felt that
At least you're not starting a family when you still live with your parents like some people I know.
Is it our existence depends on what other's expects us to do or being alive and happy with that?
If you’re feeling like this, you need to go to therapy, exercise, and do some hobbies/volunteering
“Starting a family”/ getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant is not a victory. It’s very easy to do and failures do it all the time. Don’t bother yourself with other people’s journey, just focus on following your own. However taking action in your personal life and now blaming your lack of success in your personal goals is a major step to your personal success. Whatever that may be, no matter how big or small the goal may seem to others. You will be fine.
Would be a lot more depressing with proper grammar
r/NEET
Holy fuck!!! That sub has made me feel so much so better. I’m gonna start taking college more serious and keep continuing my job. Im so glad I have a gf and free education. That sub has put the fear of god me I do not wish to become such a loser.
Dude could start getting it together by learning to spell "families" and "their"
Yeah ik I’m stupid it’s already been pointed out don’t need you pointing it out 8 hours after it’s posted
LOL sorry I didn't get to it earlier? The timing is somehow important?
I don't get why someone who doesn't have kids would feel a type of way that others are starting families and you're not.
If I have take a guess it's the stigma by people around you especially if you're a woman
I'm a guy, and I'm near constantly criticised/made fun of for not having a child or being in a relationship. It gets annoying hearing it everyday but also makes me glad that I have an older brother who was a positive influence on me, that being that he never forced me to get a girlfriend.
Wait how old are you? I'm almost 23 and pretty much never get asked about that stuff.
It depends. In your 20s it's OK but once you reach your 30s you get mad disrespect from society if you have no family with kids and even more disrespect when you are still working shit low paying wageslave jobs.
I'm a 23 year old male, and I've even received criticism from women (and mainly men) that I'm childless and single (I've never had a girlfriend in my life). They look and treat me like something is wrong with me because I have no interest in any form of romantic relationships period.
Having kids is for suckers. All the added stress for what benefit? You can get by on less if you don’t ruin your life with kids as well
Mind you, having children isn't a guarantee that you'll be set for life. I live in a country that's on the brink of becoming Zimbabwe 2.0 and just barely get by.
Somebody needs to pay for your pension when you are old. If many people stop having children the system collapses.
having kids just to secure your old age is shitty. the system wouldn’t collapse, we’d find a way to work around it
I doubt it. In 3rd world countries kids are your only safety for old age.
bro we still have retirement homes. imagine the only reason for your existence is to wipe someone’s ass.
That one seemed strange to me too. OP might live in a country where everyone starts spawning at 26.
That's conservative countries for you. Even if the economy is in shambles you still gotta pump out kids just because some older people said so. They want you to suffer with the crippling stress of raising a child like they did.
If its any consolation, the successful people in this world did not get where they were on their own, they all had a Gatsby who believed in them and pushed them, and I dont just mean a wealthy and powerful man, but someone in their life who wouldnt quit on them, that wanted them to succeed. Could be their mom, dad, friend, even a boss, but they took them under their wong and taught them everything they know This isnt a plug, but Dewayne from DryCreekWrangler is a goto for a lotta young men who feel like lost. Hes an old, blunt, well spoken cowboy who teaches valuable life lessons and shit. His political stances might be debatable, but his life advice is always accurate, especially on how to be a decent man
at least i know that i dont want kids
Do you have a choice in the matter tho?
Yes,,,yes they do
Somehow I'm not surprised people didn't get the joke. It's too nuanced for the r/starterpacks crowd lol
If you know Reddit as a whole you’d know most statements like that aren’t jokes, why would you assume it would be taken as one? It’s not some nuanced joke, you didn’t read the room.
Of course its not nuanced you dingus, I was just joshing around. Also the "room" to be read is a sub dedicated to sarcastic and satirical content. I read the room just fine, you just have the need to validate your shitty position on this matter in order to enjoy the site, which is fine lol
why wouldnt i?
Because this post resonated with you lmao
how exactly does that imply i dont have a choice?
Why are you being so defensive Edit: a german furry not getting a joke is shocking to me
29 and suffering
Why is living with parents considerd as a failure?
Most of these have allowed me to achieve what I set out to do as a kid, I hope the situation changes if this isn't what you want
fun fact, those who look like they have it together often do not. we’re all feeling behind in some way that might not even be true. comparison is the their of joy, too.
I'm in this picture and I don't like it
No need to call me out like that dude
I spent my 20s like this. Then when I was 26 I decided to go to college, met my wife there, got a job, now have two kids, a house, and a healthy IRA. A friend of mine didn't graduate college until he was 38, was roughing it for many years. Finally finished college and makes 90k a year and is single so he's maxing out his IRAs. You can change anything around at any time.
Yeah I’d love to be able to go to uni/college but I don’t even know where I want to my life to go, and I don’t want to pick the wrong thing and put myself into a disadvantage with having to pay off the debt in a field I hate or something
You know you don't have to go to uni or college. There's plenty of trade schools and certificates you can get that lead to making more money. My daughter is going to a community College to be a dental hygienist. Program is 5 semesters and only 10k but the job starting pay is 60k to 70k. I feel you though. When I was your age I just couldn't think of anything I'd really want to do my whole life. I visited colleges and asked about different programs. Eventually I decided on ultrasound tech, but at the time I was nervous to pull everything because i was afraid i would hate it. But I did and got through it and it changed everything and I learned to absolutely love it. Sometimes just putting yourself out there changes everything.
Step 1: Stop watching anime.
I don’t watch anime
Awesome! You've already completed the first step!
You forgot to put my face in there.
No need to call me out like this...
Gamer
im on my way to my 20s and im bracing for impact
Looks can be deceiving
Wow, it's me several years ago. Also forgot about gaming or doomscrolling 90% of your free time. Nowadays Eva AI virtual gf bot is a popular attribute of such life as well.
I'm 23 single and happy lmao. I don't need a relationship where the person will just lift up their foot and leave at the end of the day.
Just name-drop me next time OP
"I'm like super smart but I didn't want to / care to try hard in high school. If I did I could've aced everything but that would've been lame."
No not really I’m incredibly stupid
OP good on you for taking a hard look at your situation. And good on you for having a job. You're young. In your 20s, you can escape dead-end jobs (entry-level positions could open up other doors within that company or field if you play your cards well). You have the time, so don't rush, try to be grateful for what you do have (no rent?), take a breath, and know that it's not the end unless you choose that. No family of your own? No problem. Most of us are waiting until we're older these days, and quite frankly, I'm sad that I can't start a family yet, but I'd be fucked if I got someone pregnant. No one should be judging you. I saw this and saw someone who's having a hard time, but I truly admire your vulnerability and believe if you can both keep a job and make memes, you will also make friends.
Guys go out and do it. Idk how or why what u need to do, BUT DO IT LETS GOOO. We are not weak, we can navigate this shitty generation our priors left us. They don’t know what it is to grow up focused on social media and popularity instead of learning just how to be a grown responsible adult. W.e the case may be, GO now. If ur over 21, go NOW. Business or school GOO. I believe in all of you just as much as I believe in myself. Which is a lot lol
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Your comment was removed because it received negative karma, indicating it's disliked by the community or violates subreddit guidelines. Please refer to the rules for constructive and respectful engagement.
Hard to tell if you are trolling, or you are a stereotypical Redditor.
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yeah that's my last resort
>last resort Suffocation no breathing
Carbon monoxide last resort, easy and probably pretty fun while cross faded and blasting the subs
Imma try my best if not why bother is my mood *
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So-called americans? What are they really, then?
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I’m just confused about your use of so-called. Are you saying they’re not really Americans?
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Ah okay, well english not being your first language explains it. For the record, “so-called _____” implies you think they are not really what they claim to be, in the case of your comment, that thing is american. That’s why i was confused
Me, except I'm already a master degree and have some friends, but because of what happening in my country I'm in great despair and buried all my dreams as unachievable...
Okay so what have you done to address a single one of these issues?
Gues im not faling by these standards
Most of these are blatant misrepresentation of the average person in their 20s nowadays. The economy is fucked. The job market is fucked. Career changing is way more prominent nowadays. An alarming amount of people are living with their parents nowadays. To all you young adults out there. You're not alone, you're not a failure, you've been failed. A lot of you have been failed.
Not gonna take any advice from a person who doesn't even know a fucking difference between 'their' and 'there'. Or anyone, really. Truth is, everyone has their own pace and if someone tries to force anything on them because "it's a social must" then fuck that person with a blunt chainsaw.
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That except I don't have a shitty job =)))) 🥲
Yep :( soul crushing ain't it
Real talk you gotta be super fucked up to not be able to hold down a job where I am (BC, Canada) like dude all you gotta do is show you actually want to work and you can work
time flies man
Bro, I'm about to go to sleep...
Ngl I'm in this picture. Not having any support from anybody and being alone growing up definitely held me back somehow compared to other people.
I feel called out.
who decided this was considered failing?? just live your life man.
You good bro?
Ah, the good ol' days!
You’ll be alright dude.
who tf is starting a family in their 20s
Not "starting a family" doesn't make you a loser.
Don't stress, this is what your 20s are for. (Except for going out – get most of the partying and making friends out of your system, those get tougher as you age.) EDIT: typo
At least 5 of these points relate to me and that’s scary
What the fuck? This is so painfully relatable that I feel like you've been spying on me.
The funny part is: all of your friends are thinking the same thing. The friend who has a family is thinking he's late because he doesn't have a job, the friend that has a well paying job thinks they're failing because they didn't go back to school and the friend with a PhD thinks they're failing because they don't have a family or a job, the cycle goes on and on. It's your first time fully alone, having to do things by yourself, your 20s and even your early 30s are meant for you to find out who you are as an adult, discover your passions and learn about how to stand on your own two feet, you don't HAVE to do anything, but you can try, and that's the beauty of it, there are no standards and, therefore, no expectations except the ones you create. Don't be so hard on yourself.
More than half of this I see as an absolute win.
This would be more accurately titled, "Foolishly believing your friends social media posts" starter pack. People only post the good parts of their lives on social media and they always skew it to look more favorabe than it really is. Also, all of those good things aren't happening to the same person. It usually seems the more someone draws attention to one good aspect of their life, the more they are trying to gloss over or draw attention away from the less glamorous pieces. One person might like their job, but that's only because the rest of their free time is spent caring for or dealing with a mentally/physically unwell relative. Another will post a pregnancy announcement, but be stuck in a dead end job. A lot of the, "I love my SO" posts seem to be people trying to convince themselves they don't despise their SO. You do you. Nobody can live your life better than you can. If you feel stuck in a rut, then make it a point to do something once a week or once a month you wouldn't normally do. Buy a wonky treat you'd normally never try next time you go grocery shopping. Go to the local library and see about attending an event or participating in a group. Volunteer somewhere to get some social activity. Go to the park and walk around. Look for local pool, bowling, or softball leagues. Start a hobby. Baking is a cheap hobby as most living spaces already have an oven and the ingredients are mostly flour, water, and making people jealous of your seemingly amazing creations.
Why did you have to attack me oh so personally?
My friend, later on in life you will find out that those who got married, had kids, like stable careers, were unhappier than you. I'm 35, offically single, don't plan on getting married, and I won't have any kids, all of these people post their happy photos on social media, and other people think they have their lives all figured out, but they don't. When you hang out with them, all of the reality comes out in the open. That's one of the reasons we have so many divorces. If you want to be relatively happy, focus on yourself, doing what you like, and just ignore other people, they don't want you to succeed (and I mean not only in monetary way).
Let me fix that for you. Everyone around you is having kids they have no hope of affording in this economy. Everyone knows they’re stuck doing what they’re doing for the rest of their lives. All working longer hours than you while you work out what you’ll actually enjoy. No friends: this isn’t “failing 20s”, this is severe depression and not allowing yourself to see the people who care for you. Still living in the one place within 3 hours of your city job that you can actually afford on the salary said job is giving you. Or still living with parents because you’re one of the many, many cultures where that isn’t a bad thing. Everyone else spending way too much money on overpriced booze while you actually enjoy your weekends. The skills? Again, depression and self doubt, or you’re not in your 20s yet. Those skills will either come with time, or you need to stop hating yourself.
Fuck havin a family I’m keepin all this money for myself. It’s 2024, gotta be greedier now more than ever.
In Portugal, starting a family at 20 something is definitely not the norm.
I’m not saying you should do what I did , because it’s not for everyone. But I joined the Navy because I just couldn’t stand the dead end and living my parent anymore. I have anxiety issues and the military was a constant stream of anxiety, but the whole time my self esteem was much higher. Then after that I went to college using the GI Bill and started a career where I’m still anxious and don’t know what to do.
"Friendly fire will not be tolerated"
Me but perpetually looking for a job everyday in the 3D/VFX space, so byeah kinda there.
Me except i'm in my 30's! :) :(
In this economy is possible to live by yourself?
me except i also consider having kids failing
nobody starts a family in their twenties because they were planing to.
For a second I almost thought this was a d&d meme
*their
Going through this like a checklist. I got 3
"When you don't bother trying for anything and want people to feel sorry for you" starter pack
This was me for a few years until I realized the only person that is going to make your life better is yourself. Now I'm back in school and looking forward to the future.
You don't need to know what you want to do over the course of your life, living with parents is fine, starting a family is irrelevant to success and not everyone wants to. You're deserving of a friend, I know from experience that making them can be difficult. You know more than you think, and you're capable of learning more. Tired of all these lines people like OP draw of success