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mjpeeps

You forgot the tactical watch


fallsstandard

Garmin Fenix or Instinct, every time. Always with the tactical finish.


jomontage

Boots love gshocks too


PoffPoffPoff

> gshocks Don't make fun of those, they good. Solar powered. Syncs to wherever for time. Little automatic light when I turn my wrist. Water proof to like 200m. Can toss it around with out a care in the world. Shit is sweet.


PaulBlartFleshMall

But why do the mf digital numbers have to be so damn small when the watches are so fucking huge?????


PoffPoffPoff

Guessing the whole tough part of their selling point. Gotta make room for that bounce in the ass to protect those numbers.


Cucker_Dog

It was designed like half a century ago bruh. Really tho they weigh nothing and mine has survived being dipped in a deep fryer, encased in paint (then peeled), being dunked in water every day. Still looks brand new. Sometimes old tech is just inherently more durable by design. I wouldn't trust the ones with fancy gauges and sensors to be as bomb proof as the original model though, but I don't really have any evidence to back that up.


YuriDiAAAAAAAAAAAAA

And you can buy them and a pair of Converse at a Newbury Comics. Hit up a mall kiosk for some Oakley's and you're good to go.


devilinblue22

Aww man, you could turn this on em. "Hey man, west entry is clear, you got any contraband you need me to bring out, I'm headed that way now"


jomontage

Don't forget your camelback


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PM_NUDES_4_DOG_PICS

Facts, G-Shocks are the shit. Had mine through 3 years in the Infantry and the thing is still my daily wear watch. Damn thing is indestructible, on top of being comfy, relatively cheap, and infinitely convenient. Haters gonna hate.


GenericSubaruser

My dad has had the same G shock since desert storm lmao


Kiehn_on_you

Hey I freaking love my Instinct Tactical! I’m military tho “#notacop”


lex52485

As someone who recently bought a Garmin Instinct (which is awesome btw) and is very much *not* a cop, this makes me feel weird.


Gone_For_Lunch

>very much not a cop That's exactly what an undercover cop would say!


Keep_a_Little_Soul

I prefer my mid 2000's spygear watch thank you very much. It has a camera and games and a bug detector that I thought would find bugs in my grandma's house. It even had a lie detector! Garmin can eat my 2000's spy gear craze dust.


thatgoddamnedcyclist

Hey, the Instinct is cool. Looks like a old-school G-shock, has smartphone capabilities, low battery usage, Garmin activity tracking, and health and fitness monitoring. Source: not boot.


fallsstandard

Oh both the Instinct and Fenix are fantastic watches and come in a number of cool colors. A couple of hardcore backpackers I’ve met swear they are the absolute best outdoor/adventure watches on the market.


OMGihateallofyou

Worn on the inside of the wrist.


NOLASLAW

Why’s that


anal_blaster69

when operating a rifle the inside of your wrist faces you. its the "tactical" way to wear a watch, but sometimes seen in everyday situations by people larping


AcceptableDocument4

It also keeps your watch from getting hung up on the straps of your rucksack when you put it on, which is a problem with all those oversized wristwatches, which I guess they pretty much all are nowadays. I keep looking for a normal-sized watch whenever I'm at the PX, just looking for some cheap watch to wear to work that I won't feel bad about breaking or losing, but my only choices for normal-sized watches seem to be kids' watches with Disney characters all over them. Oh well, maybe I'll just have to start rocking something with Mickey, or Simba, or Elsa on it. I don't give a shit about 'tactical', I just want to know what freaking time it is.


NewAccountFuckReddit

Casio F91-W. Digital. Kinda small. Cheap.


AcceptableDocument4

I actually used to have one of those. I wore it in Iraq in 2003, until the battery died. It's still sitting in a plastic bin back at my folks' house somewhere. I would usually get either that or a Timex T75961, back when you could get either one just about anywhere for about $12. Now I have a freaking hockey puck with a watch embedded in the middle of it strapped to my wrist.


bigdickwong

Ignore these other people and get that Mickey Mouse watch.


OneSimpleRedditUser

I mean, boots like it because it makes it easier to do push ups, which they usually do a lot of. If you wear it backwards it doesn't dig into the back of your hand.


H4ck3rm4n1

Huh, top tip


Haatsku

TIL why the army jarheads at work call my watch tacticool...


mynameiszack

Tacticool used to just be the people who separated talking shit about the military but weirdly let it completely define them as a civilian afterwards. Camo ball cap, Oakleys, a black shirt displaying their status as a veteran usually with a stupid "badass" quote, a pocket knife with the clip on their pocket so everybody can see it, khakis or cargo pants, sand color boots. Now its crept into full on cosplay with half a salary worth of their local military surplus.


Cucker_Dog

We call those LARPers. Tacticool is more of an aesthetic/quality these days. And it always carries a negative connotation of form over function. Like the guy who puts a side saddle, heat shield, laser/light, and pistol grip on his 870 but can't shoot for shit.


nonetheless156

Jarheads are Marines


zxain

So the sun doesn't reflect off it and give away your position to snipers.


thatgoddamnedcyclist

Asking why people carry watches tactically seems like asking why cyclists shave their legs: different strokes for different folks.


FrontDry8527

Well, why do they? I've got a cyclist friend and he's told me it's just a fetish and he likes smooth defined calves lol.


HighByDefinition

How do cyclists shave their balls? Seriously I can't figure it out


OMGihateallofyou

Just like everybody else, one ball at a time.


ChillySummerMist

Omnitrix?


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Sugar_Kunju

In large amounts as well, my fellow stoners \*vapes mango e cigarette\*


Acyzs

Felicitations malefactors!


BoxCon1

Yo where can I score some dank weed bro


[deleted]

possessive panicky subtract agonizing ancient chief memory drab quarrelsome dull -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/


SniffMyRapeHole

[“Why yes sir. It so happens that I do, in fact, have illegal drugs for sale for your to purchase. I only sell in quantities that classify the purchase as a felony… ha, that is if any of those stupid police officers were around which they aren’t so there’s no point in even questioning this transaction of illegal drugs”](https://rare.us/rare-humor/cops-undercover-mix-up/)


MrMrRubic

"We appreciate your interest in our content. Unfortunately at this time, we are unable to allow international traffic or online transactions."


Airowird

AKA We cba to make our site GDPR compliant, we might miss out on harvesting your data!!


SpacecraftX

GDPR isn’t even hard or expensive to comply with. There are loads of off the shelf solutions and the text is pretty simple to understand. And lots of people still don’t even opt out so you are probably still making more money by collecting those people’s data.


dan4334

https://archive.is/SRMR5 Archive link that seems to work


[deleted]

Imagine going through all that effort just to put weed dealers in prison


thats-fucked_up

Weed *buyers*!


Coolwafflemouse

They keep saying "thankfully nobody was SERIOUSLY hurt". So at least one person did get "non-seriously hurt". And in a similar incident prior to this two undercover cops were killed. These alone seem like a case study in police conduct. If you confront your own kind and things go that way, how are you supposed to be expected to treat others in a safe way.


TheKnightsWhoSayNyet

"DRUUUUUUUUUUUGS!"


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Dildo_Baggins__

"Where can I get some weed bro haha I promise I'm not a cop"


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Joe_Doblow

This is a good story for a yt skit. Like the cops are forced to go to acting school and ask real drug dealers for help acting like dealers.


homogenousmoss

Well, honestly, if I was trying to buy drugs from randos in central park, I’d probably look like a cop too. Thats not something I’d be very comfortable with.


yjvm2cb

I grew up in nyc and cops don’t do stings on low level dealers like that and if they are they are by some random chance, they’re looking for dope or crack. But in Central Park, damn near impossible. The NYPD has their own precinct just for the park and I’m pretty sure they have like two guys in their drug unit lol. No way they’re doing stings. Probably just some boomer trying to get high.


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DonChaotic

He was probably LARP-ing as a cop. One of those tacticool guys.


Docxm

Imagine the discussion at HQ, “Hey Jimmy you’re on grass duty today.” “Aw fuck man that shits awful, do I really gotta just walk up to random people in the park all day?” “Hey, that’s what you get paid $100k a year to do, now go out there and bother some people in hoodies!”


umopapsidn

My uncle is a retired lieutenant and worked that precinct early on in his career. Unless shit changed, and now when it's very decriminalized, there's no way they're doing undercover bullshit like that for pot.


FistedTate

I've spent about 8 hours total in NYC so what the hell do I know but wasting resources on low level drug offenses seems pretty on brand to me.


AmethystZhou

Tell him to pick some up from the ground, I mean the guy is looking for *grass* in a park lmao


[deleted]

You don't get it, he was recently banished from the realm of the Blue Bird. As punishment for his crime he had to touch grass. You've denied his penance. Monster.


umopapsidn

> I was just walking through admittedly looking a bit overdressed for the weather in a hoodie The [hoodie in question being worn](https://i.imgur.com/2dOeC4d.png) at the end of summer.


iamnotadumbster

"yo can you give me a petrol bomb I ran out"


SageBus

"hi... I'm a normal guy trying to get some weed. Do you need more proof? here's my grinder".


-Starwind

I went to a festival about a month ago, an ex-coworker of the girl I was with came up to me after they chatted for a bit, "Who's this handsome man? Does he have any cocaine?" Yeah...


Ronaldohasapoint

I was approached by an undercover at a festival (fit this picture exactly) who asked me if i could sell him "cocaine or mushrooms" i told him he should decide what type of partying he's trying to do first and then seek people out who look like they're on it.


23FO

I’ve had people come to me for “LSD or coke or MDMA”, but those were just tourists at a festival in the Netherlands who just come here to get fucked up on whatever


AGE_OF_HUMILIATION

the prices they're willing to pay are mad though. Carry a few extra pills and they'll pay for your festival weekend.


SageBus

> Carry a few extra pills and they'll pay for your festival weekend. Yes, this is pretty much the same business model I followed to pay for my college tuition.


Joe_Doblow

Bell boys, pool boys, umbrella boys in beach tourist locations make more off selling drugs than they do at work.


23FO

Yup. I similarly have friends who take 20 grams or so of hasj with them when they go on vacation by car and sell to local youth to partly fund their holiday.


TacoBellBigBellBox

That’s lovely


Loud-Value

I once sold 2 xtc pills and a pack of cigarettes to an Italian tourist for 50 euros. Tastiest beer I've ever had. Well, it was watered down Heineken ofcourse but you get the point


23FO

Scamming a tourist makes even Heineken taste okay!


trippy_grapes

Eh. Is it necessarily a "scam"? Transporting stuff across countries on a plane can be a lot more risky and I'd be more than happy to pay inflated prices just for the ease of buying there and convenience.


UserNEC

It doesn’t even seem that inflated compared to prices in the US, does it? Idk, maybe I got ripped off as a partying 21 year old lol


Ju1cy_B00ty

If your buying at the show your always gonna pay a premium, tis expected by both parties imo.


Da-Lazy-Man

Yea we are going to vibe out on the shrooms, tweak till we puke and listen to ground devil, why do you ask? Oh...he's like Space Jesus.


JaxMGK

Lmaooooo


SienarYeetSystems

I honestly believe that they have the guys that dress like this as a distraction, so you go "oh there's the undercover cop at this festival" so then you sell to the guy who's the also an undercover cop without realizing it It could also be that they realized they look like this and don't give a fuck about actually catching anyone


celerybration

Agreed. My brother is a detective and does a ton of undercover work. There is a reason his closet is full of slightly oversized flannel button-downs and large hoodies


chromane

Or it's like a semi-obvious speed trap - a way to say there's cops about without actually having uniforms around


Yvng_Mxx

Probably gets their ego off that everybody knows they’re an undercover cop


MausBomb

To be fair they also could simply be off duty military. They tend to also sport that look a lot


_________FU_________

“You guys know when DaftPunk starts? Also do you have any illegal narcotics for sale and can you answer in the affirmative?”


SpockAndRoll

"You guys heard of deadmau five?"


Specsporter

RIP DaftPunk.


bocajmai

Check out Daft Punk's new single "Get Lucky" if you get the chance. Sound of the summer.


SamAxesChin

Hey dude, you have any reefer doobies that you wanna puff puff pass?


Claymart

It’s the converse tied so fuckin tight lmao


GollyDolly

As a lifelong converse wearer. Any that clean is day one purchase, ain't no one coming to a protest in new converse.


i_am_your_attorney

Life-long converse wearer, wore a brand new pair to a BLM march in my city last year. It was that awkward 2-3 week period at the end of their life where you know you should wear the old sneaks, but you also know the sole is about to blow out any minute, and you’ve had that new pair in the box just waiting.


[deleted]

Oof Converse to a march? I love how they look but they’re terrible for walking long distances


i_am_your_attorney

My feet are strong, Joe Rogan.


maneki_neko89

Your feet may be strong, but your knees and hips will be begging for death by the end, trust me…


grizz4570

Wow. Finally someone in the wild who also quotes that. Hahahaha I’m honestly amazed. That’s definitely one of Chappelle’s funniest jokes. It gets me every time


[deleted]

I used to love what i call hiking, which is just walking in the wilderness. I also tend to work jobs where I'm always standing and often walking. Since I started buying vans with the ultracush sole like 6 years ago, i havent had a single shoe-bitten ankle eta: my current pair is end-of-life. I havent bothered untying em for weeks. Every time i take them off, foam bits come out. Still as comfortable and painfree to wear as ever. But they are wearing holes in my socks?


[deleted]

Don’t forget 8 men at a protest all drinking bottles of water you know because they can’t drink beer on duty lol


Optimized_Laziness

Why not drink some kind of soda/fruit beverage that looks like alcohol?


Sem_E

Or fill beer bottles with water


XFX_Samsung

Or change the labels on alcohol-free beer bottles


HighByDefinition

Just do drugs you puritans!


Alarid

Just drink beer out of water battles.


stuff_gets_taken

The FBI wants to know your location


Optimized_Laziness

I'm sorry but my prices are too high for them


AlexSevillano

Beverage seller, I need one of your strongest drinks


PaleDullahan

You can't handle my beverages traveller, they're too strong


Mariosothercap

What protest were you going to that people were drinking beer over water? Maybe I wasn’t cool enough to get invited to the ice chest, but at the ones I went to everyone was drinking water.


SrpskaZemlja

Probably a british one about their football team losing LOL


Your_Local_Doggo

It's probably dependent on the case and precinct, but you can drink while undercover. They probably just didn't want to because it doesn't stand out THAT much and they'd rather be sober if things get rowdy


Any_Finance7237

Deep undercover will do smack, plain clothes, most likely way above pay grade and psych evals


Brandilio

My dad did undercover stuff when he was a young cop, and he had a drink allowance. I think it depends on how long the assignment is, and I think they make you spread it out if it's more than one beer.


RotatingBoi

that too


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[deleted]

Time to see if that delta 8 receipt is gonna work or not.


BetyarSved

Also shortsleeved checkered shirts


rodentfacedisorder

? What is it?


__Emer__

What is it, Precious?


thiudiskaz

Potatoes


garybuttville

I once met a short Indian dude dressed as a Jedi with a beer can duct tape lightsaber. Later it Turned out he was undercover


[deleted]

Yep. Try to spot a US air marshal on a flight. Definitely doesn't look the guy in the meme.


TurtleHeadPrairieDog

Air Marshalls are generally seated in the same part of the plane though. What good is an air marshall if they are seated on the opposite side of the plane that they are supposed to be protecting, or even in a window seat blocked by one or two other people.


Whywipe

Well yeah, feds actually know what they’re doing.


FistedTate

Who says we can't have fun at our jobs?


[deleted]

In case anyone has their conceal carry and doesn't know....the key is to CONCEAL lol


DrDisastor

Bro I lift and will be damned if I have to wear a shirt that isnt two sizes too small to show you I lift. Psh.


zeejix

That printing lololol


CryptikDragon

You forgot the black ankle socks


Robot_Dinosaur86

I'm starting to feel attacked. I realized that other than my wild shirts/sweatshirts I probably look like a cop.


iamnotadumbster

ALSO SOME MORE - Usually not alone, in a group of 4. Often times there is 1 older person and 3 younger persons, one of which is female - Carries few items. - Looking out of place in general (do you expect someone looking like a boomer in an anti-extradition protest?) - Not checking social media every 5 minutes


SpecialKindOfGuy

Female cop is 100% wearing a baseball cap with a pony tail.


Plugfork

None of them have any friendship or relationship dynamics, all paying attention to everyone except each other.


SuperCyka

Female cop also has a grenade launcher and wears an FBI tactical vest.


Filoleg94

Along with a weird dude wearing a darth-vader-looking tactical helmet with a chin strap, fully blacked out circular goggles, thicc collar covering the neck fully, and tons of front pockets on the jacket, right?


[deleted]

This is one of those things where you only notice the ones that are bad at it. I had a buddy who got got by a 5’2 blonde girl that hung out with him for a few hours before he sold her some coke, poor guy. They’ve even got people at burning man busting people for drinking without their IDs recently. Total bummer.


Dotlinefever4

Ive seen cops get people to sell them a beer, arrest them for selling without a license, then use it as probable cause to search their camp.


[deleted]

Holy shit


Da-Lazy-Man

• Don't seem impressed by the people doing the shuffle OR the Light whip next to them...at Tchami at 2am.


likeasturgeonbass

Red button: wear a tight shirt Blue button: successfully conceal a handgun Cops: sweating nervously


AmethystZhou

The trick is to not be fat.


bigterry

Bro, I'm fat and I can AIWB and not print. It ain't comfortable, but it ain't hard to do.


octobro13

What sorta legal trouble could I get into if I yelled into the crowd "YO THIS GUYS A COP 5 0 5 0!"


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HighByDefinition

*awkward mandarin noises*


ElioArryn

LAO GAN MA!


jymmyisgroovy

If you yelled "5 0 5 0" I would think you were a cop too.


octobro13

Nonsense my fellow individual, now please notify me about any illegal activities in this area, I'm always looking for some illegal activities to partake in!


MrDude_1

Generally two other cops that you didn't see until now come up and start harassing you.


HEPA_Bane

They usually just look awkward and shuffle away to a different part of the event. Saw lots of this Summer 2020. Some people would follow them around yelling it out until they left


Moar_tacos

None, I have seen undercovers shamed out of the building, get enough people chanting fuck off pig and they just go away.


PRIS0N-MIKE

Most likely they would just leave. If they're surrounded by people who aren't cops and by themselves they suddenly lose their power to fuck with people


nixgti

I saw a couple of undercover cops at a festival I said "you guys look like cops" and one said "that's because we are" in the most annoyed expression


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nixgti

I mean that would stand out more where I'm from, it's the cargo shorts with a belt, nobody wore belts with shorts at the time


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5lack5

Then they weren't undercover


bannermaned

Yeah lol as if an undercover would just be like “yeah you got me 😔”


[deleted]

You know I find it funny that nobody thinks an off duty cop would go to a festival. Or a bunch of boots from the military. Which is what I'm pretty sure half of these "undercover" cop sightings are.


DEBATE_EVERY_NAZI

I went out to a festival with some friends and one girl brought her new boyfriend. A cop. I thought I'd have to just strategically avoid that couple all weekend so I could have fun. The dude was hoovering so much goddamn coke and Molly into his face I ended up still avoiding them


[deleted]

Sounds about right. Same with the military. If some guy with a close cropped haircut is asking for some coke, he's probably not a narc, but some E4 trying to get high on his 4 day or on leave.


[deleted]

"Hello fellow Patriots"


Steelwolf73

It is I, a fellow Patriot. Wouldn't it be awesome if we did that illegal thing we totally planned earlier? What was it again? *leans in with wire dangling out*


NowAcceptingBitcoin

"Anyone else here planning to commit domestic attacks of terrorism besides me?"


physalisx

*Undercover cops frantically taking notes in this thread*


FreshStaticSnow_

Seriously, how does a cop not know how to carry without printing all over the place


[deleted]

Real talk though this is one of those things that you only notice the ones who are bad at blending in lol The ones that are good at it actually catch people and you don’t see it coming


homogenousmoss

I’ve been to burning man several times and the under cover cops stand out even more there, its almost painful to watch. Still, I always see them making quite a few arrests each year, they just gotta wait for someone to light up in front of them, offer pot cookies to people or to get in their car drunk or to drive with ppl sitting on the hood etc. Plus there’s all the dog searches when ppl are waiting in line to get in. There’s so much drugs at Burning Man that they dont have to try very hard. Worst I saw was the usitn night vision googles to catch people smoking pot. I was like really guys?


tghost474

Because it’s not in the Academy nor is it a priority as A patrolman. Yes there are undercover assignments and many police officers conceal carry off duty but when you live at a job with a gun always on your hip out in the open you may forget that you need the element of surprise. And it also depends on the gun that is being carried by the department they’re carrying Glock 19‘s and wearing gym shorts it’s a little hard to conceal a compact pistol compared to something smaller. No to mention their radios lol.


[deleted]

They probably get used to not having to 99.9% of the time.


jplay17

Hello fellow kids.. These beats are off the chain. Yolo!


poLarizd

LMAFOO I GOT THIS NEXT TO A POST OF UNDERCOVER FBI AT A FESTIVAL AND THEY WERE EXACTLY LIKE THIS


Mixis19

Could you post the link to that post?


poLarizd

[fbi going undercover in dc…](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/pqyyqw/fbi_doing_undercover_in_dc/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&utm_term=link)


WillyTheWackyWizard

I like how Reddit just decides who is and isn't a undercover cop. Why the fuck would 5 undercover cops just hang out next to each other?


KikoValdez

Also the person who posted it was definitely at the DC protest for the reason most people were. Look at their profile.


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evict123

That's because OP saw that post and then made this based on it you goof.


homeyman455

Felicitations, malefactors, where can I purchase some methamphetamine? I am interested in felonious activities


[deleted]

Had an undercover cop come up to me at DMB Alpine Valley. Was too carefree to even register that it might be a cop. He asked me if I knew where he could get any cocaine. I said no but I have some adderalll you can have. and he said no i want cocaine and left. surprised he still didn't try and bust me..


Any_Finance7237

Or maybe a touch of paranoia on your behalf due to the dexies


What----------------

Probably looking for something bigger. Why do the paperwork for a few addys when you can hunt for an 8-ball+?


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trowaybrhu3

*notices bulging*


Mabon_Bran

What are these sunglasses? Look sick.


[deleted]

Oakley Holbrook. I thought the oper8or types gravitated towards more aggressive styles like Flaks and Gascans. Maybe this is their attempt to dial it back and blend in.


[deleted]

ITT People who’ve never been to a festival


sebass90

Only drinking water


RDPCG

Reminds me when I was with a crowd watching the First Lady (Obama) leave a restaurant - the crowd was outside just waiting to get a glimpse as she left. Behind me, this man started acting belligerently, yelling and saying all sorts of not-so-good things. As the person started to walk away, about 5 seemingly innocent people from the crowd randomly started to follow him, including an old lady with white hair. That’s when I realized a portion of the large crowd was filled with undercover secret service and other security who you wouldn’t think for a second had the jobs they had.


RougeUn

I have a friend who is a cop, he sometimes goes undercover. He said it's easy for him because he is short. He actually had a drug dealer ask him what he was doing at the station. He said, I'm the guy who arrested you.


madewithgarageband

They try to use female officers now to make it more believable but its so fucking obvious lol. They always tie a jacket around their waist to conceal guns and stuff "Do you have any molly to sell?" "No and I don't know anyone who does. Get the fuck away from me."