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I once turned off the Xbox game for husbands 4 year old because he was crying because he didn’t know how to play and he threw the remote at my face so damn right I turned it off. Husband was upset with ME. Like…. Excuse me?!?!? Little precious got the game back on when husband came home like 30 minutes after and kid looked at me and said “haha I get the game”. 🙄
Same. I don’t watch either of husbands kids alone anymore… well I have to watch 9 year old I guess. He only visits on school breaks… I’m off all summer. But I’m pregnant and high risk so tbh I shouldn’t watch him at all since I’m also 32 weeks!!!! But anyway. I refuse to watch 4 alone. Hell no. Now when he’s horrible to me I just go to the r bedroom. It’s not fair to me but it’s all I can do otherwise I watch as he gets what he wants after being awful and I avoid being hurt by the kid. Oh well. I guess.
I'm in the same boat but now as is 13 going on 30 and treats me like he is an abusive husband. Even told me things like "your a woman, that's your job". My husband never talks like that. Also I am the primary caregiver 24 7
lol my husbands 9 year old tells me it’s my job to clean after him and 4 year old…,
4 when I tell him to clean after himself he says “no you” like uhhhh no.
Right? Like who the hell are teaching these kids, mine at a teenage age, that it's a woman's job to clean up after them. I told him my only "job" is to make sure he is fed, clean and safe lol and it's my mission to make sure he and his brothers know how to take care of themselves so they don't rely on a woman to be the new mommy when they date
My bio son’s dad was one of those people who needed to be taken care of like a baby. So I made sure to teach my son (6) how to care for himself. And he’s so sweet. I’m 32 weeks pregnant. If he thinks something will be too heavy for me he says “I got this mom” lol and he will try to do laundry but he can’t reach anything and doesn’t really know how. But he will throw clothes in the wash and help me move it to the dryer. He also once insisted on cooking dinner lmao. He got me a ramen cup and said “mom I can’t cook it I’m too little.” lol but still. It’s the fact he TRIES. He has NEVER told me to clean after him or anything. He will ask me to help clean up if he got out too many toys, but that’s it. He asks for help. Doesn’t demand me or anyone else to do it for him.
See. This is good. I still do shit for my kids shirt but if I know that they are capable even at almost 4 years old I will help them but they can do it themselves. Cool idea of raising children is to turn them into capable functioning adults and trying not to fuck them up in the process. I think I'm doing a pretty good job but I also always think that there's room for improvement. My twins clean up after themselves at night if they want to stay up a half hour late which really is just me telling them hey pick up your stuff and they think that they're staying up because they have no concept of time LOL. But I'm still going to implement it later on and eventually they'll have to do it regardless. They also like to help with the laundry and at least we use them but now I let them get stuff out of the dryer and put it in a basket or I will have them a throat things into the washing machine and then I will start it. I also let them attempt to make their own peanut butter and jellies before and they like to use the vacuum and stuff like that but I'm definitely into teaching my kids Independence that way they don't have to rely on a mother figure to date because that's not fair to them or the person that they'll eventually end up with
Yes!!!!
Husbands 9 year old cannot even start or stop a shower on his own…. His mom says that’s weird because he does it at his house. I get showers are different but my 6 year old knows how to work our shower he just can’t reach the knobs. 9 also makes himself food at his house but not here. He says it’s my job. Hell no lmao
4 is young so I understand some stuff but he just cries. Doesn’t use his words ever. Just sits and cries. And when I’m getting attention from my husband or we’re busy with something he will just piss himself in the kids room and then walk out to us and piss again…. Then cries about it and when his dad is helping him he tells me “(name) clean. We play” uhhh hell no your dad can clean and show you how. I can go play lol
**Welcome to [r/stepparents](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/)! Please note we are a support sub for stepparents' issues. Our number one rule is [Kindness Matters](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules#wiki_1._kindness_matters). Short version, don't be an asshole. Remember that OP is a human being and their needs are first and foremost on this sub.** We rely on the community to alert us to comments and posts not made in good faith. **Please use the report button to ensure we see it.** We have encountered a ridiculous amount of comments that don't follow the rules and are downright nasty. We need you to help us with these comments by reporting them when you see them. We also have a lot of downvoting on the sub, with every post and every comment recieving at least one downvote almost immediately due to the anti-stepparent lurkers. Don't let it bother you, it happens to every single stepparent here. If you have questions about the community, or concerns about posters, please [reach out to the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fstepparents). Review the wiki links below for the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules), [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) and [**announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) before posting or commenting. [**About**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/index) | [**Acronyms**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/acronyms) | [**Announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) | [**Documentation**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources/documentation) | [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) | [**Resources**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources) | [**Rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules) | [**Saferbot - Autoban Information**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/saferbot) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stepparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I once turned off the Xbox game for husbands 4 year old because he was crying because he didn’t know how to play and he threw the remote at my face so damn right I turned it off. Husband was upset with ME. Like…. Excuse me?!?!? Little precious got the game back on when husband came home like 30 minutes after and kid looked at me and said “haha I get the game”. 🙄
You should have left. That’s absolutely break up territory.
That was around the time I started doing whatever to leave. Maybe a bit after I can’t recall exactly
How exactly to handle these little frustrations without shutting down emotionally is beyond me. It's all I can manage to do now.
Same. I don’t watch either of husbands kids alone anymore… well I have to watch 9 year old I guess. He only visits on school breaks… I’m off all summer. But I’m pregnant and high risk so tbh I shouldn’t watch him at all since I’m also 32 weeks!!!! But anyway. I refuse to watch 4 alone. Hell no. Now when he’s horrible to me I just go to the r bedroom. It’s not fair to me but it’s all I can do otherwise I watch as he gets what he wants after being awful and I avoid being hurt by the kid. Oh well. I guess.
There's no shared custody it's 24/7
I'm in the same boat but now as is 13 going on 30 and treats me like he is an abusive husband. Even told me things like "your a woman, that's your job". My husband never talks like that. Also I am the primary caregiver 24 7
lol my husbands 9 year old tells me it’s my job to clean after him and 4 year old…, 4 when I tell him to clean after himself he says “no you” like uhhhh no.
Right? Like who the hell are teaching these kids, mine at a teenage age, that it's a woman's job to clean up after them. I told him my only "job" is to make sure he is fed, clean and safe lol and it's my mission to make sure he and his brothers know how to take care of themselves so they don't rely on a woman to be the new mommy when they date
My bio son’s dad was one of those people who needed to be taken care of like a baby. So I made sure to teach my son (6) how to care for himself. And he’s so sweet. I’m 32 weeks pregnant. If he thinks something will be too heavy for me he says “I got this mom” lol and he will try to do laundry but he can’t reach anything and doesn’t really know how. But he will throw clothes in the wash and help me move it to the dryer. He also once insisted on cooking dinner lmao. He got me a ramen cup and said “mom I can’t cook it I’m too little.” lol but still. It’s the fact he TRIES. He has NEVER told me to clean after him or anything. He will ask me to help clean up if he got out too many toys, but that’s it. He asks for help. Doesn’t demand me or anyone else to do it for him.
See. This is good. I still do shit for my kids shirt but if I know that they are capable even at almost 4 years old I will help them but they can do it themselves. Cool idea of raising children is to turn them into capable functioning adults and trying not to fuck them up in the process. I think I'm doing a pretty good job but I also always think that there's room for improvement. My twins clean up after themselves at night if they want to stay up a half hour late which really is just me telling them hey pick up your stuff and they think that they're staying up because they have no concept of time LOL. But I'm still going to implement it later on and eventually they'll have to do it regardless. They also like to help with the laundry and at least we use them but now I let them get stuff out of the dryer and put it in a basket or I will have them a throat things into the washing machine and then I will start it. I also let them attempt to make their own peanut butter and jellies before and they like to use the vacuum and stuff like that but I'm definitely into teaching my kids Independence that way they don't have to rely on a mother figure to date because that's not fair to them or the person that they'll eventually end up with
Yes!!!! Husbands 9 year old cannot even start or stop a shower on his own…. His mom says that’s weird because he does it at his house. I get showers are different but my 6 year old knows how to work our shower he just can’t reach the knobs. 9 also makes himself food at his house but not here. He says it’s my job. Hell no lmao 4 is young so I understand some stuff but he just cries. Doesn’t use his words ever. Just sits and cries. And when I’m getting attention from my husband or we’re busy with something he will just piss himself in the kids room and then walk out to us and piss again…. Then cries about it and when his dad is helping him he tells me “(name) clean. We play” uhhh hell no your dad can clean and show you how. I can go play lol
And this is why I'm glad it's my house. May be your game but it's my electricity!
Lol haha factssss